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 Author Thread: WHY ARE PEOPLE AFRAID TO FALL IN LOVE NOWADAYS???
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 50 (view)
 
WHY ARE PEOPLE AFRAID TO FALL IN LOVE NOWADAYS???
Posted: 8/25/2007 1:56:28 PM
Msg 54: Keep looking is my advice - sooner or later someone who shares your values and needs will come along

Great post. There's many of us out there that have sensibility, ideals and values, among many other virtues. And of course, defects. I've come to a point in my life where I know the kind of man I am and can be when it comes to relationships. Its about what you're capable of, what you can bring into a relationship, and how far are you willing to go if the right person comes along. Love hurts, yes. But were you truly there when love was around? Were you honestly living it?

I just remembered a scene from the film Good Will Hunting:

If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
When a man loves a woman
Posted: 8/19/2007 7:33:05 PM
A verse from the song Eye To Eye, by the band Fates Warning, comes to mind:

What was it you saw last night
When you gave yourself to me
Was it the thread of a common bond
Or the touch of cold reality
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
how do you win back a lady
Posted: 8/19/2007 6:35:07 PM
how do you win back a lady

You admit you were an "arse", get on your knees, give the speech of your life, she gets touchy feely and admits you back... And 6 months later (I give you 2 or 3 actually) you become an "arse" again...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 8/19/2007 4:54:04 PM

He was truly a wonderful person with all the qualities I was looking for in a man except that full-fledged butterfly feeling was missing everytime that I saw him

BINGO!!!
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Changing my dating views.....
Posted: 8/19/2007 2:11:21 PM

But there is this guy at work who I've developed a crush on, and he's of Indian descent. A very nice guy, cute, and friendly. I'm beginning to think this is a good thing, changing my dating views.

The Official Jacktraven quote applies to you: "If you haven't tried, you haven't lived"

My 2 cents...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 127 (view)
 
Are you willing to relocate for LOVE? How far would you go for LOVE?
Posted: 8/17/2007 4:26:45 PM

Dont know till you try. I tried, she decided on a different lifstyle... But now I know. I beleive, if it is in fact love...why wouldnt you?

This takes me to my headline: "If you haven't tried, you haven't lived". Great post.

You have to be very fortunate to find that person who's willing to go the distance. The most beautiful thing that can ever happen to someone is creating a bond, a relationship based on human values, about being a rock and a shoulder, and LDR's have a lot of this. But bring it down to the ground, feet always stomping on it. No means, no goals, no vision of future= failure. If idealism and reality can't coexist in a LDR, it will fail, period. Be aware of almost everything, look into yourself and be honest about if you have what it takes to take the challenge. Be aware of immigration laws, they can be a huge hurdle. LDR's are for serious people, for the ones that are seriously looking to pursue a better life. A life in love...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 126 (view)
 
Are you willing to relocate for LOVE? How far would you go for LOVE?
Posted: 8/17/2007 2:59:47 PM
Long distance is REALLY hard.. and will only work if you both are working towards something

Been there, done that, got a medal of honor. I've proven myself that there's no boundaries for what you truly want in life. If the other person on the line is working towards the same goal, there's no stopping you. The risk is that things might not work out, and there can be lots of pain in the process.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
The Ecstasy of Intimacy
Posted: 8/12/2007 9:29:31 AM

Msg 60: "I once went to a big family dinner at the home of a local farmer. His wife bustled about, setting the table, serving the food. All during the meal, he sat next to her, with his hand resting on her back, softly rubbing her back....he touched her through the entire meal. I bet he gets laid. A lot."

Did he help with the dishes after dinner?
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 49 (view)
 
The Ecstasy of Intimacy
Posted: 8/12/2007 7:08:50 AM
Msg 76: "Yes, it's the sweet pet name that makes me melt when I hear him say it.. it's the special way he touches my arm when we're next to each other, it's way he looks at me from across the room that makes me weak in the knees, it's the short but sweet text messages during his busy day to let me know he's thinking about me that gives me a rush ~ the feeling of butterflies in my tummy"

This keeps getting closer and closer to the experiences I've had. You feel inspired to do the small things, you feel moved. The "seduction of emotions" Dreamerxoxoxo mentions has a lot to do with that. For instance, describe in your own words the way you would kiss her. Grow from there...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
The Ecstasy of Intimacy
Posted: 8/11/2007 5:30:51 PM
Msg 59: "I think that having the initial desire to please is what leads to the pleasing"


I strongly believe that you have to feel very inspired and moved by your partner. It begins with one look into her eyes, feeling the softness of her hair, hands and lips. Her smell, her soft voice... You feel overwhelmed by all this beauty and all it comes to mind is to give your all. Its not about the act, its about the moment. To me its all about the memory...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
The Ecstasy of Intimacy
Posted: 8/11/2007 1:03:23 PM
Msg 26: "The last guy I had sex with was in was probably the best in terms of intimacy. He never pushed, and didn't care if we spent several hours together building up to sex, or if it even got there at all. We would kiss and cuddle and laugh and just be together. He complimented me often and would change things up all the time. It was very obvious that he cared more about my comfort and what I wanted and always made sure I was satisfied before he did anything for himself. The attentiveness made me want to please him in return and I did a lot of things for him, things that I didn't do as much with other guys. And he wasn't faking it either. His compliments and everything were very genuine, which made things even better."


This explains it best, IMO. I can also add that you need to hold each other lots. Before and after. Nothing like the feeling of a woman's warmness.


"He cared more about my comfort and what I wanted and always made sure I was satisfied before he did anything for himself

And he wasn't faking it either. His compliments and everything were very genuine, which made things even better."


You inspired that moment, wpg_chick, you brought it out of him. Always remember that it was you who made it possible.

Great post, OP
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
How important is money?
Posted: 8/11/2007 12:31:36 PM
Msg 53: "To me, a real man gives of himself, not of his paycheque."

Msg 64: "Idealism is wonderful, but it doesn't work."


Msg 53: Its a balance of the two, IMO. All relationships have ups and downs, of course. We all know that the first years are always amazing, and its been said that eventually "relationships begin to wear down". A real man does the best effort to keep the relationship alive and well, being aware of this and communicating constantly with his partner. Without man pride, without fear of anything. Every relationship deserves the best effort. If you claim to have "found the one", or "the woman/man of my life", or "until death do us part", think about this before even saying it. Think first if you honestly have what it takes to make such a statement. A real man is the one that can be a human being and also deal with the reality of life. A real man is one that can give a woman a deep kiss and a hug goodbye as he leaves for work, but also pays the electric bill on time. A real man is the one that can make life the less painful as possible for both.

Msg 64: It doesn't work if the scale tips to that side completely. What's truly a wonderful achievement is when affection and human understanding can live along with responsibilities and materialism. Its very important that BOTH PARTIES share the responsibility, one sided relationships will always fail, even if he/she is rich. No one appreciates being the one that carries the biggest load, and this is one of the reasons of so many divorces. There will be a moment when that "I'm the one who pays the bills here" comes along, and no one likes that. There has to be lots of TLC, caring, honest compliments, the best intimacy... just to mention a few. The essentials always covered, at least some saving, managing money wisely, etc. And room for some spoiling -a must. A man has to at least cover her frequent trips to the beauty salon, or for some shoes/clothes she may like. It feels really good to see your woman look beautiful, and you have no idea of how much that kind of caring is appreciated. Its worth the extra bucks, trust me.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 120 (view)
 
The Natural Triangle
Posted: 8/11/2007 11:07:04 AM

You are absolutely right! Love is work


It is. But it shouldn't be such a hard work...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Sleeping with your married boss
Posted: 12/28/2006 7:17:57 AM

~OP~ You probably shouldn't tell her anything. More often than not, that will destroy what friendship you two share. Listen to her, be her friend, but don't render advice. You won't win. She's made her choice and now she has to live with the fallout. Just be there when it all comes crashing down

No further questions, your honour... Be there for her, just that...

Excellent post, Verygreeneyez. Always so wise...

 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Long Distance Relationship
Posted: 12/26/2006 9:24:18 AM
I would say give him the benefit of your patience. Until he proves otherwise

When there's a will, there's a possibility, so they say. I would've called you at least and let you know that I'm thinking a lot about you but responsibilities have kept me very busy and yadda yadda yadda. I would do the effort to call you at least more than twice each week, during those 3 weeks. Been there, done that. I would always carry an international calling card in my back pocket, and call my ex from my mobile for at least a couple of minutes. When I was busy doing something, I would call on breaks (I mean, you have to go pee sometime, you know!). But this is me.

He was very respectful and caring about you. Scene2's post is very wise, I would still give him the opportunity. He's proved respect to you already. Being in the military has a lot of responsibilities, so chances are he's extremely busy. He will hopefully explain what happened, I'm sure.

Feliz Navidad...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Guys..You Want Kids But Your Girlfriend Cant Have Any!!!
Posted: 12/25/2006 8:40:14 PM

I have 2 children that are 9 & 12. Both were complicated pregnancies and I've been strongly advised not to go down that road again. At 32, I'm still meeting up with guys that don't have any children and would some day like "their own". I do find this frustrating and am not willing to take the risk of anything happening to myself

Being that your case Going_Somewhere, would you adopt a child?
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/24/2006 11:30:01 AM
long distance relationships can be tops!!!

I'll borrow some lines from my profile:

"I'm sure there's great men [women] locally, but I know about disappointed people that have looked overseas [another state] for their love and have been successful, and this is the reason why I embarked myself in one. Its a matter of coming across the right one, either nearby or far away."

If you come across the right one, you will walk the miles no matter what. It was a great experience for me, regardless of the outcome. It put me to extreme situations where no man would possibly go for love. Honestly, I would give it another shot if a woman came across and proves to me she's worth it.


When you can't always touch, when you have to rely on words, the lines of communication are more open and honest and this develops a deeper commitment - I think - than being next door or just down the street... So many relationships fail because there's a lack of communication... It truly depends on the individuals involved

Been there, done that. The bond you can create with a person is simply remarkable.

 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/24/2006 11:13:39 AM
Who's going to move if this works out?

*Raises hand*

*British accent* Shall we begin now??

Not with you, Creativguy. Just in case you were wondering, mate.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 12/24/2006 9:37:16 AM

I've noticed that *some* men think they're natural problem solvers, and women are simply emotional non-problem solvers. Do you agree with this and why, or why not?

Yes, I can solve my own problems. I believe that women can solve their own problems as well. But at this point in my life, I've come to an understanding that this type of "stereotype" mentality is changing. We were made believe this, and the truth is that in some cases it can be the contrary. In some couples, is actually the woman wearing the pants. I honestly believe that a man and a woman should come to a point of mutual problem solving. Sometimes it depends on the situation, there are times when one side takes a firm stand -emotions aside. Of course a woman aspires that a man stands up for her, but he doesn't have to solve everything in her life. A woman also needs to solve problems as well, I mean, there's millions of women right now working a second shift job to support themselves and their children. Do they actually need a man to "solve the problems"? I'm sure there's a woman somewhere in this world determined to rely on herself before turning to a man for help. We just need to get into our heads that its all about duality. And why the hell not a woman/man shouldn't be able to express her/his emotions? We don't carry a software program in our head that calculates the resolution of problems! There can be a way to use our heads and hearts to solve a problem, without one tipping the scale.

Just my thoughts... Merry Christmas everyone!
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 12/23/2006 10:53:12 PM
Try 2053 miles... That's how far I was...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
To find a woman you need time and money
Posted: 12/23/2006 4:46:24 PM
Blow up doll= money
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 46 (view)
 
what do you say when the gift is too much??
Posted: 12/23/2006 4:38:12 PM
Your friend's intentions are obvious, regardless that he's a "very sweet guy". I mean, you already "explained that you're not interested in a relationship of that nature with him", but he insists.


<div class="quote">This person doesn't know but I am talking to a man that piques my interest on every level
It would be a good idea to ask him what his intentions are and tell him that you're talking to another man. You also mention that its a "christmas" gift. How long have you known this man so he can make such a gift? I mean, this isn't a gift from your family or a boyfriend either -this is a boyfriend kind of gift actually. The right thing to do -my opinion- is to return the phone.


<div class="quote">As suggested by another poster, this isn't that big of a deal to him. He is financially secure and I believe truly feels like he is helping a friend out.
Mustangsally says something very blunt but true: "I realize that it's nice to have a "friend", but you don't seem mature enough to know that you are playing with fire." Don't misunderstand this, but saying that "I believe truly like he is helping a friend out" can be perceived as naive. It seems that you're seeking a justification from us to accept the phone and not feel guilty (you need it afterall). I mean, a woman who has made clear that doesn't want nothing more than a friendship, would've returned the phone almost immediately. Maybe you froze at the moment and didn't know what to do, and we don't even know how long has it been since you recieved it.


<div class="quote">There simply isn't a romantic chemistry on my part

<div class="quote">I think he believes he can convince me that he is what I want
What you state is that you wouldn't fall for this guy, even if he gave you a much more expensive gift. This is the way you feel, period.


<div class="quote">If he insists that you keep the phone, explain to him that it's a very expensive gift, and it would make you feel better if he perhaps didn't spend so much money on a gift like that for you
This is a good excuse, for example. Again, you need to ask him about his intentions. Your dignity must be always above everything.

Hope this helps...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
high standards..
Posted: 12/23/2006 2:03:57 PM

Once you've experienced quality (all around) it's nearly impossible to go back

Ever said or heard "you have a place in my heart"? Its a very deep place within yourself. No one else knows about it, except you and that special person. A place where kisses and caresses give you electrical pulses and you grit your teeth. A place where your mouth fuses into hers. Where breathing stops, where moans surround every corner. A place where tears flow like rivers as you're kissing your soul out, in desperation because that could be the last time you'll experience love like that. A place where making love starts and ends with kisses and in sweet innocense. You hold her hand on the way out, kiss very deeply, ending softly on the lips. And you see those incredible lips smiling back at you...

When you think about those moments where you made her womb give birth to such beauty and she felt like the woman she is, that's what keeps you alive. And not just the moments of intimacy, but also how you both managed to make it through everyday life and its miseries, and still held each other. Maybe disgrace showed its face and tore you apart, taking away that love, but you still held on to those moments to keep the memories intact. For every man there's a woman, so they say. Every man and woman carries a special gift. Some of us carry the gift of tattoing the skin and the heart, leaving a permanent mark.

You always go back somehow.

I think I'll join you for a drink, Simplypeachy...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
high standards..
Posted: 12/23/2006 9:01:35 AM
Yup, it can happen. When you have put yourself on the line for someone, giving out your heart and soul, it can definitely happen. There were bumps and mistakes of course, but when you sum everything up, they can mean nothing compared to the actual experience. You can ask my Ex for further references (she has said that I'm her only true love).
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Something To Believe In....
Posted: 12/23/2006 8:50:16 AM
It's seems like that when you stick up for what you believe in (knowing inside that it is right), it turns into such a battle sometimes....I mean a long time of uphill climbing. Don't wanna go into detail, but much to everyone's amazement, not giving up did pay off.....and I'm glad I did it now. Guess I'm the type that likes to conquer the things they say can't be done....that's a battle worthwhile to me.

*Jaw drops to the floor* I'm exactly the same! And again my motto flashes: "If you haven't tried, you haven't lived". You battle and take it to the edge, against all odds, so YOU'RE completely sure, not because people told you the contrary.

to you Sassyfox...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Something To Believe In....
Posted: 12/22/2006 6:59:00 AM
I'm just curious if there's something you believe in and everyone in the world (including your dog) tells you to give up & let it go, would you? I mean if it's really, really important to you to have some sort of resolution (favorable or not), would you give up on it when nobody else seems to want to support you?

Usually, people will listen to friend's opinions, but in most cases, it could be like there was no conversation at all. Even with parents, where you would feel comfortable enough because they're supposed to be "the word of experience", you won't listen. There's always a "what if", and this is the damn word that ruins an advice. People say that you can't live through other's experiences, some will even insist that your position is not going to succeed because they had a similar situation. So it all comes down to living the experience yourself.

My motto is "If you haven't tried, you haven't lived". There has to be a time to analize the cost and risk of a decision -this is where advice can truly play an important role. Living the experience will determine if a resolution will be favorable or not. There will be many opinions, some will even say "I told you". You will tell them "but I tried", and that is very comforting, whether the experience was good or bad.

I just remembered the end of the song Something To Believe In by Poison:

"And give me something to believe in... Yay ee yayyyyy"

Peace...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
The perfect woman
Posted: 12/22/2006 6:10:58 AM

Perfect love casts out fear, but unless we begin with fear...... we cannot progress to perfect love. Fear is the caterpillar........ love is the butterfly !!!!!!

Excellent post, Benz...

I'm going to borrow part of a post I made a few months ago:

In Meet Joe Black, there's a scene where William Parish (Anthony Hopkins) says this to Joe Black (Brad Pitt): "Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived".

Peace...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
My life is with another man... But in my heart, my life is with you...
Posted: 12/22/2006 5:42:19 AM
She doesn't make enough to support herself and her children (she has 2 kids that live with their dad). She faced some serious drawbacks and forced by the circumstances, took this decision. I have accepted and respected this because I had no choice. The rest is history, I don't think there's more to say. Basically the problem is economical. It could be considered as comfortability and convenience, but there's a price to pay. I truly hope she has a good life. Unfortunately, unhappiness is right around the corner for her...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
My life is with another man... But in my heart, my life is with you...
Posted: 12/21/2006 6:40:35 PM

she wanted physical love and affection

In this case, its more like company actually. And yes, this is true and I understand that. But I need(ed) that too, and even still, I was there for her when her life was a wreck. And viceversa.


I'm glad you were willing to help someone you loved though i have to say, you should never do that in a Long distance relationship, it just isn't your responsibility and only becomes your responsiblity if you are living with them and are directly involved with their day to day well-being

I did it gladly, because it was a way to be closer to her. In the most difficult situations, I was there regardless of anything. I'm not there living day-by-day, but I felt responsible and extended my hand whenever I could.


Sometimes what our hearts desire is toxic to us.. You have to know when to say "I Quit". You may never get over that love for that person, but you know it's not going to work.

I've been with her until the last second, when things can no longer stand. And that's the way it deserves to be. I'm not a quitter, I take it to the edge.

Thank you for the responses...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
My life is with another man... But in my heart, my life is with you...
Posted: 12/21/2006 5:48:37 PM
If things were so bad that she had to leave you, should you not have done something to make your lives more stable?

We were in a LDR for 2 years. I aided financially and it wasn't enough. But yes, I did something about it.

I don't seek pity here. This is something that happened to me and want to share it with the pond.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
My life is with another man... But in my heart, my life is with you...
Posted: 12/21/2006 4:55:39 PM

regardless of the obstacles that come between me and the man I truly desire, NOTHING would ever stop me from being with him...I'm a firm believer in "where there's a will, theres a way"

I'm a firm believer of that too, but isn't this position too idealistic?? Regardless of the obstacles?? I mean, people can give up too.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
My life is with another man... But in my heart, my life is with you...
Posted: 12/21/2006 4:36:45 PM

people like this don't deserve to be with anyone

Even if she's doing this for her economic survival and her children?
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
what makes you lose respect for your partner?
Posted: 12/21/2006 3:42:26 PM
Inconsistency and egotism...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
My life is with another man... But in my heart, my life is with you...
Posted: 12/21/2006 3:41:10 PM
My Ex just said this to me. How can a woman live like this? I mean, that man is not what she really wants but is what she needs. Are our lives destined to put love aside and go for what's convenient?

Opinions?
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 179 (view)
 
I still love you but I am not in love with you.....
Posted: 12/19/2006 11:19:03 AM
You don't fall out of love with someone you really love. It doesn't happen. You give up. It's that simple.

And if you truly love this person, the best way to prove it is by saying the reasons why you're giving up. If you're a consistent person all the way throughout the relationship -with some glitches of course, because you're not perfect-, there's no way you would say something like this.

Excellent post, Dime.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:44:57 AM
Why wouldn't it be OK? There are no referees in life. No one "owns" anyone else. One man's trash is another man's treasure. If you consider that vicariously you are all friends or at least like each other you may be different enough yet similar enough to cultivate success where there was failure, then why not? Commiseration is not fun. Be happy in someone else's success where you failed.

This is very true. What matters is what this man/woman feels for your friend's ex. Its a crime to stand in the way of two people that love each other and make them feel miserable. Besides, they will do it anyways, regardless of the consequences. First of all, no one has exclusive rights or patents over a person. Second, we're not teenagers anymore. Third, what happened in the past, stays in the past and its the best friend's problem. I have never come across this situation myself, but I'm man enough to assume that I can fail and also succeed. It would also depend of the reasons why we broke up and if we remain friends or not. If a great friend of mine can make a former girlfriend happier than I did, that's what matters.

Last minute edit: It would also depend on the time. If they got together years later, months later... This is another factor.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How many good relationships/marriages do you know?
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:17:55 AM
2 actually...

1) My mom and my stepfather (24 years).

2) My former boss, who spent 3 months dating and got married (13 years so far).



When you go to a wedding - do you ever wonder if it is going to last?

I always give the Bride and Groom my best wishes, always hoping they last ages.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
going thru your partners cellphone
Posted: 12/19/2006 9:36:44 AM
Do you think it's alright to check your partners cellphone?

No, its not alright. That's called invasion of privacy.


I read about 9 messages back and forth talking about meeting up for drugs and sex

There's now a black stain in what was once crystal clear. You could eventually become paranoid and irritable, creating a lot of "what's wrong? / I'm ok, nothing's wrong" situations, because you could have a hard time confronting her. If you confront her, she will be very pissed because you peeked her cellphone, and she will also have trust issues -and also have an easy way out. Its a very delicate situation, Donnybob. Many people in your position would've left by now. If you're willing to confront her and are prepared for a possible breakup, go for it. Leaving without letting her know the reasons why its not what a true gentleman would do.

Peace...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Should the computer come between you???
Posted: 12/18/2006 12:09:23 PM

I met my current boyfriend on here .. We met 3 weeks after talking on here

I thought after meeting someone in here, you would get off the friggin computer!!
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 159 (view)
 
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/17/2006 9:34:50 AM

Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?

I've had sex on the first date and lasted a year, so in my experience, it doesn't kill a "potential relationship". But this woman was a colleague at work, so I wasn't a stranger to her. OP meant sex on a first date with a "total stranger", so in my case I couldn't say because I haven't had the experience.


Call me old fashioned but I want a guy to really care about me first before we sleep together and that doesn't happen on the first date

I think that not all women are willing to do this, and that's totally understandable. The heat of a moment could lead to a no escape situation, and sex could take place without notice. If a lady came across a situation like this and said NO, the man should be respectful enough to retreat, and this is the attitude a woman expects. If the guy doesn't call back the next day or two, the woman will know what he truly wanted. In this sense, yes, it could kill a potential relationship.


However, if there's magic I do believe in affection on the first date

Affection with a total stranger, OP? Can you be more specific?

Its all a matter of coming across the situation and be ready to face it when it happens, but respect should always be the top priority.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Oral sex the first time you make love
Posted: 12/13/2006 8:26:53 PM

Its so rude to just try to stick it in without first getting the woman turned on with foreplay and oral sex

Loads of foreplay, taking your time, showing some respect to the lady... Kisses, caresses, nibbles... Get those fluids moving and then head south...

*whispers* BTW... some fingering could also be considered...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Oral sex the first time you make love
Posted: 12/9/2006 7:00:09 AM

If you start with a nice kissing section then moving to oral is just part of the foreplay...


Hmmmmm... I honestly never came across the idea of giving oral to my partner the first time we make love. What I do most of the time is kiss and caress intensely, without stimulating the genital area. But I might consider giving oral pleasure to her, whether I get it back or not, as long as she feels very pleased.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
ok, so he's not cheating, yet...
Posted: 12/8/2006 9:42:26 AM

I'm sort of afraid i'm going to develop trust issues now...



How do you trust someone, even someone you love dearly, after they've told you they themselves might not be able to resist the temptations?


Shimmer... You're too young and too pretty to become paranoid. At your age, you should explore, enjoy life and be with a man who's more secure about you and the relationship. Take it easy, you have a lot of time ahead.


apparently he's been dealing with this "temptation" for a while and just decided that it was better to throw out a wonderful relationship like the one we have (and it truely is, not kidding) because he's afraid he might cheat on me

I don't think you will trust him from now on -regardless of him being honest about this issue-, because women expect a man to be dedicated to just one woman. Why should he be "tempted"? Is there a lack in the relationship or something? You're a serious and respectful girl, even in your profile it says that your Marital Status is Not Single/Not Looking, and this is important. Did he actually value you as the woman you are to say such a thing?? I'm sure you still have feelings for this man, but think about yourself and your worth. Seriously consider moving on.

Take care...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Orgasms
Posted: 12/8/2006 5:11:29 AM

and it doesn't hurt to find someone who actually knows what a clitoris and g-spot is and how to find them...AND what to do when they get there....lol!

Will keep in mind... *takes notes*
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Do you girls find it rude when guys check out cleavages while you are bending ?
Posted: 12/7/2006 8:23:55 PM
*Does Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now* Ahhhhhhhh... Love to see the hanging of boobs in the morning!

 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Orgasms
Posted: 12/7/2006 8:04:31 PM
I had a nice experience with an ex (when she told me, I thought she was kidding). I made her orgasm by just kissing and caressing. Making out, caressing, holding and taking your time can be a nice way to start...
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Why is sex such a big deal???
Posted: 12/7/2006 7:47:49 PM

Why is sex such a big deal?


Because its greatttttttttttttttttt!!!!!
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
After love making...
Posted: 12/7/2006 7:45:31 PM

Is it in the morning.....midday.........early evening........late night.............. A quickie in a rush...........a nice long session....


Ummmmm... Early evening, late night, nice long session... Morning and midday could be on the weekends maybe... Depends on your everyday life...

A quickie... yeah, what about it?? Zip pants quickly, release the emergency stop button and press any number?? A deep kiss after the act?? Hmmm... Let's read it.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 41 (view)
 
THE BEST CONDOMS
Posted: 12/7/2006 7:06:11 PM
The Trojan brand supras. They are made of polyurathane. They are 10 times stronger than latex, thinner, conduct heat, lubricated, and the protect against stds. Its almost like wearing nothing at all... almost. Definatly the best ive used. Polyurathane all the way

I read that you may use a polyurethane condom if you or your partner are allergic to latex. If you and your partner are not allergic to natural latex rubber, it is recommended that you use a latex condom...

How true is this??
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 271 (view)
 
Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 12/2/2006 9:38:35 AM

truth: experience has shown and taught me that real men aren't threatened by real women, they openly appreciate and positively acknowledge them!


Imagine this... A woman gets married and is used to being just a housewife, or hasn't worked in many years because her husband said not to, alleging he can provide enough to support the family. All of sudden, the husband dies. He leaves her and a child. Now she has bills to pay, a child to look after, feeling worthless... Nothing better than a woman that can hold it on her own, because one thing that makes relationships successful is to have a symbiosis. It depends on the person, of course. Some women take it as a way of revenge over men, as rivalry or as control. Others just do it because they like what they've been doing for years and enjoy their independence. Its not a threat, its a reality a man has to assume and welcome. A woman should always feel good and encouraged about her independence, never letting a man take charge about everything. I wouldn't feel threatened or lowered if she made more than I do, as long as I'm working and contributing.
 
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