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 Author Thread: What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 12/6/2018 3:07:19 PM
"I'm not looking for a hookup."

These are the people that guys have to jump through hoops just to be coworkers without having hostility towards them, because every guy clearly just wants sex. Asking her if she can switch days with him at work, that's clearly trying to get in her pants. I definitely stay away from that girl in the dating world.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 216 (view)
 
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 12/6/2018 3:04:40 PM
Online: You know that girl that has never put any care at all into how she looks. Clearly hasn't showered anywhere within a few days of every single picture. A lot of times, the low level of hygiene and personal care has her looking more like a drug-addicted man than a woman? That's what's attracted to me on here, and almost all that ever sends anything to me. Besides the fake porn star profiles.

Offline: No idea. I attract people who I would never expect to have any shot with, unfortunately, I can be clueless and don't catch on until it's too late, usually after she tells me she used to be a year later now that she's engaged. And a lot of times, it's the people that I have enough chance to talk and have a conversation with. That's kind of my strong point. It's great for these sites when they respond, I can do great from that point, the challenge is getting that response.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 80 (view)
 
I've officially graduated online dating 101.
Posted: 7/27/2018 11:06:03 PM
He forgot my favorite one.

"I'm finally ready to settle down" = I screwed up my life, and have tons of baggage, and need you to fix it for me.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 282 (view)
 
Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 7/27/2018 11:01:29 PM

whether it ends up being just one meet and greet or turns into your "short term relationship"....either way it ended up with you still being single - so your "vetting" process got you no further than a quick meet and greet!!
and actually....a "short term relationship" to me says sex was involved....and I'd rather have a dozen meet and greets instead of a dozen sexual partners!!


There's also a reality to dating life: Us men, we chase the girl... But the girl decides who gets to keep dating her.

If her standards are in the realm of reality, it's very possible that she's telling the truth. If she's 80 lbs overweight and every man has to have a 6-pack, then I'd immediately call her a liar.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 267 (view)
 
trough feeding
Posted: 7/27/2018 10:50:25 PM
There's no long-term study on a keto diet. BUT, there's evidence of extremely high risks of liver failure, renal failure, as well as multiple micronutrient deficiencies.

There's also the inherent risk that if your diet is insufficient in protein, your body targets your muscle. If there's not enough fat, you can easily fall below your body's required fat content.

And let's not ignore the risk of undiagnosed diabetes, which can actually be caused by obesity. Which makes ketosis very dangerous.

Fad diets are not good for you.

Seriously, it's EASY. It's just portion control. To lose weight at a HEALTHY rate, the average person needs about an 1,800 maximum calorie per day diet (you might be more, or less). You can do this with burgers, your favorite meat, bacon and eggs for breakfast. You literally do not have to give up the foods you love. My diet plans around me having a beer with dinner. I have bacon with every breakfast. Just, be in control of how much you eat. And live an active life. If you're too sedentary, your body slows its metabolism. And a great trick to keep your appetite in control, drink water. It's filling, you need it, and you will not gain weight from it (in a healthy adult). If you don't like plain water, get the flavor packets, there's hardly any caloric value to them. You don't need these stupid fad diets. We're fat as a country literally because we just eat too much. You don't need a 12 oz steak, 3 oz is all you need per meal. And go with a medium rare, that's not blood, it's protein. If it leaves you too hungry, have dessert, anything without added sugar. Sugar free snack foods actually taste good once you kick the sugar addiction. Instead of sweet tea, put lemon in regular iced tea. The lemon sweetens it with WAY less sugar.

Basically, don't sit on the couch and stuff your face every night and you'll be thin. That's it. That's the trick to that thin body. Then add in exercise so that you look good when you're thin. Control how much you eat, and go out and do things. Unfortunately, to do it the right way, it's going to take some time. You should average about 2lbs per week if you're doing it safely (your first week will probably be 5-10 in water). In about 3 months, that's 30 lbs that you lost, more than what the average American is looking to lose. And you've developed a HABIT that will keep that weight off for good. And since you're using a balanced diet as opposed to a poor nutritional fad diet, there's a higher chance that your skin will keep its elasticity and you'll have a tight abdomen when you lose that weight instead of it being flabby.

Enough with these diets. Just have some self-control. Losing weight is simple once you just give in and decide to take responsibility for your weight. It's not hard to eat right. And it's way cheaper. Just take a whole 20 minutes of your life to measure out servings once a week, and us that too cook every night. After a couple weeks, you'll be able to just grab that steak and know how much to cut off and freeze while you're cooking the rest.

The keto diet is for for people who are too lazy to do it the right way, and would rather lose the weight then go back to eating an entire tub of ice cream while they watch a movie, rather than learn how to be content with a bowl of ice cream once every couple nights after dinner. And the scary thought of having to actually get up and walk. You know who uses the keto diet? The person who spends 5 minutes circling a parking lot, and then holds up everyone behind them for 5 minutes because they just have to have that parking spot close to the door, while there's 50 open spots if they could be bothered to walk an extra 30 feet.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 265 (view)
 
trough feeding
Posted: 7/27/2018 11:13:32 AM

Double-check on what a carbohydrate actually is. I'll give you a hint - it's not one-for-one 'carb = sugar' as you say. Carbohydrate is the scientific word for 'organic chemical compound composed mainly of hydrogen and carbon'. This is where the water weight comes from - the H and O portions of a carbohydrate are the same as water - H2O. This is why the process of starch to sugar conversion is called 'hydrolysis'. The H2O is kicked off the carb as water while the remainder become glucose.


Hydrolysis is the generic process of adding water to a compound to break it down, most commonly only working on ionic bonds. Basically, you take in a water molecule and one OH will bond on 1 part of the molecule and the other hydrogen will bond on another, splitting it into 2 separate molecules. So what happens with starch is that the Oxygen binding the 2 carbons will lose its bond with the other carbon, and bond with one of the hydrogens from the water, while the remaining OH will bond with the free carbon on the other, splitting the starch into its individual sugar molecules. A water molecule is destroyed in the process, not created. There's no "water kicked off the carb." A single glucose molecule is C6H12O6. It looks like there's 6 waters in there. (It's almost like carbohydrate is a fancy way of saying "carbon water.")

Basically you have C-O-C
Add in the water H-O-H
Break the bond C-O C + H-O-H
Break the bonds on the water, and the OH will join the free Carbon, and the free hydrogen will join the free Oxygen, creating C-O-H and H-O-C


In Ketosis, your cells don't need glucose for energy anymore. You don't have enough glucose to survive on it's own. So yes, you heard that correctly -- it's using something Else for cellular energy (too).


Your cells ALWAYS need glucose. The function of ketosis is breaking down fats and protiens to synthesize glucose. Protein or fat alone cannot go through the process of creating energy for the cell, they are broken down, and those parts are used to make glucose.

This is 7th grade biology, come on.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 272 (view)
 
Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 7/27/2018 10:43:01 AM

If you're unsure about going on a date, then don't ask to meet me.


It's not necessarily that we're unsure. Pay attention to these forums, pay attention to the insane number of first dates that never led to anything, not even a simple text saying that there was no interest. Why do you expect guys to want to invest more into this?

Online dating is not the same as dating in the real world. If I meet someone from here, it's nowhere near the same as asking out a girl that I see all the time, that I know for a fact that at a minimum we're going to be friends. On here, I don't even know that the girl is even really a girl until I meet her in person. That's all that coffee date is, 2 people meeting each other for the first time.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 234 (view)
 
trough feeding
Posted: 7/25/2018 5:17:03 PM

+1. You're in nursing school, right?


Yeah
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 232 (view)
 
trough feeding
Posted: 7/25/2018 4:34:05 PM
No, it cannot function without carbs. Without glucose, your cells cannot synthesize ATP. Without ATP most functions of your body are impossible. It's like trying to drive a car with no gas in the tank. There is literally no fuel for your cells if there's no carbs. You die.

What the keto diet does is your body converts fats and proteins into glucose (a carbohydrate REQUIRED by all living animal cells for the synthesis of their energy source). This is done by breaking down your fat tissue and your muscle for the protein. You are starving yourself.

Again, carbohydrates are the fuel for the human body. Fats and proteins, can be broken down TOGETHER to form glucose, a carbohydrate)

Also there's no such thing as good and bad carbs. Carbs are carbs. Every single carbohydrate in existence, except for fiber, is broken down into glucose or fructose and either stored in the body or used for energy. When people refer to carbs as "good" or "bad" it's typically in relation to the micronutrient value of the carb source. Basically, pizza and coke are bad carbs, potatoes and carrots are good carbs. White bread would be a bad carb while whole grain bread would be a good carb. The problem with simple carbs, like sucrose, is there's a ton of it in all the stuff we eat, because it tastes good. 1 20 oz soda is over 80g of sugar. That's over 1/3 of the total carbs you should have for the entire day. BUT, your body does not know the difference between 80g of high fructose corn syrup in your soda and 80g of carbs from broccoli. Both are broken down into the same exact fructose and glucose molecules.

So no, starchy carbs "being the ones that turn into sugar" is a complete misunderstanding of food. Carbs are sugar. All carbs. Every single one of them. Why? Because carbohydrate is the scientific word for sugar.

What it comes down to at the end of the day is if you take in less calories than you need, you lose weight. If you take in more than you need, you gain weight. A calorie is just a unit of energy. Calories come from carbs, fats, and proteins. That high protein keto diet is still taking in calories. You can overeat in a keto diet and gain weight. It's actually very common.

OR you can instead, eat a properly balanced diet, restricting your total calories, by eating proper portions of nutrient rich foods, and lose that same weight, in a healthy way.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 228 (view)
 
trough feeding
Posted: 7/25/2018 11:46:49 AM
A carbohydrate is more commonly known in layman's terms as sugar.

Now, everything your body does it takes energy. This energy comes from breaking a bond in a chemcial called Adenosine triphosphate (ATP). The fuel used by your cells from the production of this chemical is glucose or fructose, AKA sugar (glucose is from animals, fructose is from plants. Table sugar is just a glucose joined with one fructose). Without carbs, your body cannot function, period.

What the keto diet does is restrict your intake of carbs, forcing your body to break down fat to produce its own sugar, while eating carb-free food so that you're not hungry. You're literally starving yourself thin.

So no, nobody is maintaining that diet indefinitely, because it will kill you if you try. There is no maintaining that diet. Over long-term, it's deadly. You cannot live without carbs.

The difference between that and doing it the hard way and counting calories and exercising... those are permanent, sustainable changes. There's a reason that people tend to gain their weight back after these diets. If you cut carbs but you're still eating way too much, yeah, you'll lose weight, but once you start eating carbs again, you're back to taking in way more calories than you need. A proper, safe, sustainable diet should have about half your your daily calorie intake come from carbs. That's how important they are to your body. Seriously, just cut out added sugars, and most people will lose weight. Basically, trade the Dr Pepper for water. And exercise, it leads to a higher metabolism. These are lifelong habits. Your keto diet is a few weeks of starving your body and then going back to the reality that you have no real self control over how many calories you take in every day so it's that rollercoaster of weight loss and gain. Give up the fad diets. Get into the habit of eating right and exercising, and yeah, it'll take longer to lose that weight, but then you've developed a healthy habit and now you don't have to go through this every year anymore.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 249 (view)
 
Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 7/24/2018 7:36:45 PM

There are reasons why men prefer coffee dates, and none of it is good.


So it's bad to prefer to actually get to know the other person before investing in a more traditional date?

Seriously, how much money do you think men just randomly have laying around, that we can afford to just bring some random flake out for dinner and never have her talk to us again. You're not our girlfriend or wives, we don't owe you anything.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 226 (view)
 
trough feeding
Posted: 7/24/2018 7:34:31 PM

It's guaranteed to work if one can do it -- but yeah, it is damn hard. :) However, doing 1600 calories a day with tons of exercise that only aids in your lack of sleep isn't any easier, if you approach the keto diet prepared, with the whole plan with its ducks in a row after taste testing stuff, etc. I'd find the keto diet easier.


The problem with the keto diet is that it's just not maintainable. You'll die without the sugar, but you lack the control to only eat the right amount. NOTHING will replace taking the time and effort to get a proper diet and get exercise and lose weight the hard way. The thing about easy fixes like the keto diet, once you're done, you put all that weight back. Being fit is a lifestyle, not a diet.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Are men who don't ask questions self absorbed?
Posted: 7/24/2018 7:29:13 PM

Not necessarily self absorbed. They might have poor communication skills or have at best lukewarm interest.


Or we want to actually have a conversation, not play 20 questions. What's with the obsession with having to know every detail about each other the first time you ever go out?
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 68 (view)
 
cheapskates have to self felate
Posted: 6/10/2018 11:45:45 PM
Here's the thing. Dates cost money. Flip roles, pretend it should be typical for the girl to treat the date and do all the chasing: would you rather spend money to go out and do something with me, or spend money to go out and do something with a guy you actually want to be with long-term? Now this doesn't mean that it's someone just wanting sex. Maybe they're genuinely interested in a serious long-term relationship, but they want to make sure the compatibility and mutual interest exists before making any real investments into it.

Read through these forums. Look at how many threads exist about first dates and then the girl seems to have forgotten that person exists the next morning. Why the hell would these guys want to spend money going out somewhere with these girls? Seriously, answer it, what do they gain by spending their time and effort to be overlooked?

And this goes into paying for dates too. Most guys would happily pay for their girlfriend's dinner. Some girl on POF, though, that's not his girlfriend, that's someone that, statistically, is never going to acknowledge that he exists after that date.

A little rational thought goes a long way. POF is not starting to date that person you see when you're getting coffee every morning before work. POF is meeting a stranger for the first time and determining if you have any interest in dating each other. The "rules" of dating don't really apply, because it's not a date. You don't even know the other person. NONE of you even know if I'm really a guy. You don't know if my pictures are of me. You don't know if a single thing in my profile is true. So why would you expect the first time meeting me to follow all the rules of a date?
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What is a Hedonist personality type?
Posted: 6/10/2018 11:30:22 PM
Hedonism has nothing to do with sex. It's a concept that somewhat falls under virtue ethics, but somewhat opposes it

Hedonism is derived from virtue ethics, which is where moral value is determined by "virtues." Basically explained by a positive result. Hedonism says that virtue has no intrinsic value, instead, the pursuit of happiness is what drives moral values. Basically, pleasure vs pain. And pleasure meaning positive emotional response and pain meaning negative emotional response.

Hedonism basically questions: What will make me happy? Is it better to diet and exercise every day so that you can live an extra 5 years or is it better to just relax, eat what you like, and just take life as it comes? THAT is what hedonism is.

It doesn't mean no strings sex. If a hedonist doesn't enjoy sex with random girls, or feels unfulfilled from it, then he's just not going to do it.

To give a great example, watch the movie The Big Lebowski (written by someone with a bachelor's degree in philosophy). The Dude is the textbook example of a hedonist.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 70 (view)
 
I've been dating a woman since October , She just told me she has an std.....
Posted: 6/10/2018 12:08:06 AM
OK, since everyone is talking about herpes... here's the reality of that virus: There's about an 80% chance that you have it. You'll also most likely never have a single symptom of it, ever. HSV-2 is less common, about 16% of people have it. That's only 1 in 6, and condoms don't protect you from it. Either you have it, or you've been with someone who does. But it's the same has HSV-1, there will probably never be a single symptom of it during your entire life, because outbreaks are the exception. For the majority of people with it, they will live with it for their entire life and never have a single outbreak.

Same with HPV. You probably have it or have had it. It comes and goes, with no symptoms. Only a few of the over 100 strands of it actually have any danger. If you're that worried, there's a vaccine against the ones that are actually bad.

That's just part of being alive. You're going to get infected with these viruses.

I saw AIDS come up. The HIV scare was turned way worse than it really is, and we have our "morals" to thank for that. Gotta make sex scary. Here's the thing about it, it's 100% IMPOSSIBLE to catch it if the other person doesn't have it. Only about 1% of the entire US population is estimated to have it (this is counting what the CDC estimates doesn't know they're infected). And then IF the other person has it and you're exposed to any body fluids in most situations, including sharing a needle, your chances are estimated at less than 1% of contracting the virus. It's an extremely small risk of catching it. The thing that changes that, is repeating the risk. The most dangerous activity is receiving anal sex. Your chances are about 1.5%, IF the other person is positive. If you don't know if they are or not, your odds are 1% IF they're the 1% that's positive. That's .01% chance per anal sexual encounter that you'll contract the virus. That's 1 in 10,000 random encounters. If it's not a regular habit, this virus is the least of your worries. It CAN happen the first time, it's possible, and occasionally does happen, to anyone, but it pretty much won't. This isn't really an issue unless you're REPEATEDLY taking part in the risk, like regular anal sex, or regularly sharing needles. Then it becomes very noticeably more likely the more you repeat the risk. So that random guy you met on POF and went on a few dates and had some fun then never talked to him again, you can probably safely bet your entire life on you not catching HIV, unless you're extremely unlucky. (now, if you only have anal sex, or always share needles, or never use a condom, the more you do it, the higher your chances of infection become, but if you made one, even 10 bad judgement calls, you're not likely to catch this. This spreads more commonly through you married someone who's positive and regularly had sex over the last 10 years.)

Then you have the more common infections, like syphilis or gonorrhea. If you get it, you take an antibiotic then it's gone. It's a temporary inconvenience. The real worry with that is that the more it spreads, the more resistant it becomes to it's common treatments. You don't want to catch these, it's pretty awful while you have symptoms, but you're gonna live. Syphilis is still extremely treatable, and you have to be a complete moron to actually let yourself die from it, the symptoms are stuff you're going to go to the ER about, even if you can't pay. Gonorrhea is the one that's becoming antibiotic resistant, but the worst common result of having it untreated is you can't have kids. That's the worst that's expected. But there's always a chance of something like meningitis if the infection spreads through your nervous system. Just get tested, if you have it, take a pill for a week. Even the antibiotic resistant gonorrhea has been treated and cured.

Hepatitis is the expensive common one. It's easy to catch. A is not sexually transmitted, and you've probably had it at some point and are immune now. Your body just fights it off and wins. It's just a typical food poisoning. B, this one is 100% preventable. Get the vaccine. C is the dangerous one, it's the one everyone talks about when it comes to STDs, and it's one of the more common STDs. But it's also the FIRST virus that we've developed a cure for (I think it was last year). So again, get tested, and if you have it, take a pill for a month.

So relax, unless you're really serious with the other person and regularly having sex over a long period of time, it's just not likely that you caught anything from them. And if you did, it was either almost definitely one of the very easily treated ones, or one of the ones that the doctor is going to just send you home with a medicine to help stop you from infecting someone else (we don't even bother trying to treat herpes or HPV because it's that small of an issue, instead we try to stop it from spreading).
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 215 (view)
 
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/21/2018 4:34:09 PM

If you think that's rough, try being a male in your 30's. The only women available are out of shape single mothers that get high. The rest are bar stars that don't realize they've hit the wall and will take home any guy. Most guys don't get any messages or responses from attractive women. If they do, they disappear before the date or they have a boyfriend and are just "browsing".


And most guys also don't even get responses from the two types of people you described.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 1084 (view)
 
Grown men don’t need approval to go Dutch
Posted: 5/21/2018 4:33:24 PM

Or, a guy could try not being petty over a few dollars for a movie. Enjoy treating your gf, then enjoy your home cooked meal. If you can't afford going to a movie, don't go. Find something free to do.

Who says women can necessarily afford to kick in anyway? I can just see the woman with $10 left for the week until she gets paid and has to buy you popcorn. This is why I will probably not date another pof guy, because so many are either cheap, jobless or a very low wage earner.


Don't worry, most of us wouldn't date you either, you're nothing special. Also, what if they guy is short on money himself? He's still supposed to just pay for you to have a meal or watch a movie? And then what if it's a first date and you never answer another call from him? He's supposed to just pay for you to go out when he's never going to see you again?

Here's the thing, princess... On POF, we're all strangers. If you're expecting to get the same treatment that we'd give our actual girlfriends, well, you're living in a fantasy. There's a huge difference between paying for someone that we're in an ongoing relationship with and paying for someone that we're probably never going to see again.

Want everything paid for you? Then try actually investing in trying to make a relationship happen. You expect the guy to cover the entire cost, but what are you bringing to the table? What's in it for him? And I'm not talking about sex. What does he actually gain from paying completely for your date when he doesn't even know that you're ever going to talk to him again, especially since that's become the norm in today's dating world?
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Any old excuse to not meet.
Posted: 5/21/2018 4:25:24 PM

People don't like giving excuses for not meeting firstly because it's likely gonna be offensive to the person they are rejecting and secondly because guys often come back with something to get round their excuse. So saying you're too far away has no come back because how many guys are going to reply with they'll relocate?


OR, it's a lot of people projecting their own insecurities on everyone else.

Here's the thing, if you keep only having experiences with the guys that get too pushy or mad, or anything like that when you reject them, and it just keeps happening every time... Maybe look into how you're rejecting them, or stop only having conversations with the same type of guy.

There's no reason that we should all have to listen to your same bs excuses that are in no way clever time after time because you're assuming we're all going to be**** about.

Honestly, it's incredible how many women within a 10 mile radius that are single and online have literally no free time, ever, it's just 24/7 of work and kids. Don't want to offend the guy? Don't talk to him like he's an idiot that hasn't heard your excuse before. Be a grown up, you're allowed to say no... enough with the excuses.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 415 (view)
 
56-year-olds need not apply
Posted: 5/11/2018 1:20:52 PM

I agree with you July. Everyone "settles" at some point, especially as we get older and our pool gets drier. Settling for a loser/abuser/cheater, etc. is not the same as accepting a viable, flawed-yet-decent person who you like and who likes you, & with whom there is mutual physical attraction. The person may not fit the mold of your "dream guy/girl" but as we all know, those don't exist.


Unfortunately, to a lot of people, that person still exists. One of my favorite cliches you see on this site is the whole "I'm done having my fun and now it's time to settle down."

These lines just scream that those of us that this girl is willing to talk to are her consolation prize. It's what she goes for after tall, dark, and mysterious didn't work out the last 50 times she tried dating the repeated clones of the same guy. She already has it in her head that we're not fun or exciting, we're boring and bland, and to her, that means the stability that she desperately needs in her life.

When you start reading between the lines of what people say, especially on these sites, they're still hoping for that fantasy to come true. Everyone else is just what they're willing to settle on. It's not what they want to spend their lives with, they've just given up.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 975 (view)
 
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/11/2018 12:50:31 PM

It should be like that. Men shouldn't have to pay for everything all the time. That's just ridiculous. For example, if you go to movie, she might pay for snacks and he could get the tickets. If you pick up all the bills, don't get upset when you realize she’s a gold digger.


And not just that, but with how disposable dating has become today, where you're more likely to NOT have a second date, why would you even want to have the mentality of the guy has to pay.

In an established relationship, there's ways to equal everything out. But to pay for dinner for some girl that's going to completely forget I exist 2 hours from now, that's just stupid.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/11/2018 12:46:08 PM

Most women come on this site to get serious relationships. Many lose faith and resign themselves to flings. When you constantly get sent messages asking for a hookup or when you enter so many conversations online only to realize the guy is just interesting in sexting, you lose faith in men in general and lower your expectations.


Unfortunately, you have nobody to blame for that but yourself. How many guys did you never give any chance to because they didn't look good enough, or because their profile wasn't perfect, or because their 2 page single-spaced essay that way too many of you expect from them wasn't up to your standards?

With the literally millions of people on this site, you're the only one that you can blame for you not responding to probably most of them. The nature of these sites is that women get to make that choice, but what comes from those choices is something that you have to accept and live with. I'm not saying that you have to respond to someone you don't want to, but you have to accept that by making that choice, there's a smaller pool of possible men. Ultimately, it was YOUR choice to not talk to the millions of men who actually want a serious relationship.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 9 (view)
 
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 10/9/2017 2:13:39 PM
OP, answer 1 question:

Why do you deserve only someone you're attracted to?
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 36 (view)
 
I'm starting to have a pattern for being stood up
Posted: 9/21/2017 5:38:34 PM

just because women have interest at first doesn't mean it'll stick. I've had initial interest with dozens of men but during our online conversations, the interactions began to lose steam.


True, but that's no excuse to not at least tell the guy that the date is off. Is losing interest in a guy valid reason to make him drive an hour away thinking he's going to be meeting you, but then you just don't show up and refuse to ever respond again?

And it really is way too common on these sites. There's just no excuse. It's text on a computer screen, what's going to happen, he types mean words that you don't even have to read?
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Anyone getting replies here?
Posted: 9/21/2017 5:31:40 PM

I agree. When I was actively using OLD, the majority of women sent me winks or a short generic message like "How are you?" for the initial contact/email. It didn't bother me. It doesn't necessarily mean that person is lazy or inarticulate. The purpose of the first email is to see if there is mutual initial interest based on the pictures and profile. If there is, then people can write longer subsequent emails with more substance. Also some people might say "How are you?" on the first email because that is how you often start a conversation with someone offline.


This is an important concept to understand.

And to add to it, the people demanding these novels... The reality of dating sites for an average guy is that you have an abysmal response rate. Odds are, any particular girl is NOT going to reply to you. So for the women out there that demand this: If a guy is writing you a message, and judging by his looks you're not going to respond to him, why should he put in the effort of writing this emaculate first message to you? Shouldn't that effort be saved for someone who actually wants to talk to him?
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 269 (view)
 
being picky vs Lowering your standards
Posted: 9/4/2017 11:18:56 AM

However, at the same time, I see far too many shorter men with women their own height or taller in the offline world (it exists in my own family as well, actually) for me to say short men are just completely f*cked.


Well yeah, there's girls that will date guys shorter than them. These girls that refuse to, especially the ones pushing 6 foot... Guess why they're single. If you're as tall as the average man, but demand taller, that doesn't leave many men worthy of dating you.

While short men aren't really screwed, on sites like this, they're going to have a disadvantage, because NOBODY comes to POF because their dating life is TOO successful. When the arbitrary 5'10 demand is this common it's going to be hard for them. Every profile that demands that strangely exact height is one less profile that they should ever even bother trying to message.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 16 (view)
 
craigslist translation
Posted: 9/4/2017 11:09:25 AM
You must be new to the internet and especially craigslist scams.

This is literally an ad to get a response sending you to either:
A cam site
A site where you confirm your identity, making you safe to meet, by putting in your credit card information
A dating site you've never heard of where you have to pay to use it

Your translation is only wrong because there is no girl. The post was probably put up by a guy. You fell for it, by thinking this was real. There's nothing to translate, it's fake.

The give-away was telling you to leave your email. When you email a response on craigslist, it's from your email address. All you have to do to get back to you is hit reply. But email gets around dating sites blocking links in messages (because they do target some dating sites too, even POF). Having your address prevents any type of masking, letting them "Re:" before the subject of what you sent them and bypass your spam filter.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 706 (view)
 
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 8/12/2017 2:43:36 PM
And I understand how to use the word literally. I didn't mean "figuratively", I meant you do it on every single thread where someone puts a girl's dating problems as her own cause, and I meant that exactly how I said it. When I said every thread, I meant every thread... By definition, literally.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 705 (view)
 
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 8/12/2017 2:36:52 PM

How do you know they're NOT dating any of those guys and discovering they're not so good underneath the facade?? Unless these women you keep calling out personally update you on what's going on their lives, you don't know shit. Furthermore, physical attraction matters in the equation whether you like it or not.


Because it's literally mathematically impossible that every single one of those men who approach these women, without exception, do not fall under the category of being a decent guy. being ugly doesn't make him an ***hole. We're not talking about looks, we're not talking about attraction, whether or not she ever dates him is completely irrelavent. We're talking about the claim that there is no decent guys out there, which is complete BS. Just because she doesn't want to date him, doesn't mean that he's not a decent guy. And that's what the argument is, morn. That it's not that they're not out there, it's that she's just not dating them, BUT THEY STILL F'N EXIST!

And I'm not saying give nice guys a chance as in "OMG DATE ME SOLELY BECAUSE I'M NICE!" I've been saying if you want to date a nice guy, then date a nice guy. That it's that simple. Don't whine that you can't find one, while you exclusively only date guys that treat everyone else like crap. And if you choose to, then stop complaining that you can't find the guys that you keep rejecting. Take responsibility for your own dating life.

Seriously, do you actually try to be this dense?
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 703 (view)
 
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 8/11/2017 10:32:14 PM

It's also hilarious to see you of all people accusing anyone of excuse making when you've incessantly whined about being single because women won't give you, the quintessential nice guy you believe you are, a chance. You have placed ALL of the blame on them. But you don't think of yourself as an excuse maker. Of course not.


Actually, no, you dumbass, if you could get your head out of the vag and actually take the time to comprehend what you're reading, a lot of my posts come from an outside point of view. Because from the outside, you can see how a lot of things that happen, especially on these sites, Stevie Wonder can see it coming from the beginning... The outcome is just that obvious.

It's not making a single thing up. Seriously, do you HONESTLY believe that out of the HUNDREDS of guys messaging these girls, that there's seriously not even 1 in that entire list that's worth dating? Do you understand how small the probability of that is? I'll give you a hint, it's pretty much impossible. What it comes down to is superficial traits. He wasn't hot enough, he didn't make enough money, he had roommates, he was under 5'10... and the list goes on and on. But you're going to say that on a website that hit 100 million users, assuming an equal split of men and women, that all 50 million men are just undatable? That all these women that just can't seem to ever meet a decent guy aren't doing it to themselves? No, can't be, there's NO WAY that women can do anything wrong, ever. Not as long as you're here to intentionally misread posts and kiss their asses nonstop. But keep claiming that you're not that white knight, while you've taken this stand against literally everyone that doesn't treat every girl like absolute godlike perfection. If you ever question "What did you expect to happen" or tell them that they made a dumb choice, you come running with your YOU DON'T DESERVE XXXXXX BS. It's seriously your script. Not one person in this entire thread has said anything about deserving a single thing. Actually, it's been kind of the exact opposite, taking the view of nobody deserves anything, and that sense of entitlement is what causes the claim of there not being any decent guys.

And when you have the choice of date a guy or not date a guy, it's 100% your fault. Who made the decision to not date him? Oh, right, that girl. To be fair, there's a fair share of guys that are just completely terrible people. But can you HONESTLY tell me that out of every single guy that has tried to date every girl making these claims of there being no decent guys out there, that every single one of them, without exception, isn't in a relationship with her because he has a terrible personality? That 100% of the guys that have ever approached these girls were just terrible people that weren't worth dating? Do you realize how idiotic you sound just by the massive improbability of that situation ever happening to anyone, ever?


I've said this before, and I will say it again. Attraction doesn't give a shit about "deserves". You keep wishing for "nice" and "good" to be rewarded with a chance, and that's just not how it works. This goes for men and women. This will never change as a whole, no matter how much hot air you continue to blow.


And I'm not talking about "deserving" anything, you idiot. Seriously, if you're not going to take the time to actually READ, then sit down, shut up, and let the grown-ups talk. If I'm starving, and complaining about how hungry I am, but my kitchen is full of food, I just have to cook it... What would you say to me? Why doesn't that apply to these girls that are complaining that there's no decent guys out there, while they keep rejecting those exact decent guys? Just like I'm hungry because I refuse to cook, they're not dating good guys because they're refusing to date the good guys.

NOBODY is forcing these girls to date who they date or reject who they reject. At the end of the day, it's 10000000000% THEIR OWN CHOICE. And they need to stop complaining about the choices that they make. If you're not getting a great guy, or a great girl, there's only 1 person to blame, yourself.... And sorry, pig, that includes women.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 699 (view)
 
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 8/11/2017 7:24:57 AM
So saying: You're single because of the choices that YOU made, is complaining?

It's a thread about the claim that there's no good guys left. That's just not true. It's pointing out the difference between there not being any good guys, and a girl refusing to date those good guys.

It's excuses. All of it. Good guys came around and she didn't want to date them. FINE! She doesn't have to. But be an adult about it, an d own up to the fact that there's no good guys solely because you're not dating good guys.

Seriously, stop kissing their asses and let them actually take responsibility for the choices that they've made in life.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 697 (view)
 
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 8/10/2017 5:28:55 PM

So, your message to all the ladies out there is "you all need to change, not me!!" You should send this diatribe to women when you message them. I see no reason why it wouldn't melt the panties right off of them.


Oh, good, the women can't do any wrong club is back.... My message to EVERYONE is that if you can't seem to meet someone, after a certain amount of time, it's probably your fault. Yet all anyone talks about is excuses and ways to blame everyone else. These girls that put up a screenshot of over 100 messages... Really? Not 1 of them was worth dating? Who's fault is it, really, that she's single still? Is it really because every guy is just that bad, or did she just reject pretty much everyone that was decent, or was she just a bad person that nobody decent would want?

It's true, if literally hundreds of guys are trying to date you, and absolutely zero of them are either good enough to date you, or actually want to date you, what @#*!@ logic are you using where it's the guy's fault? And you're defending this as no, it's not her fault, it's the 100 person hive mind that messaged her's fault? No, SHE made the decision to reject tons of decent guys. SHE made the choices that led to some not wanting to date her anymore. HER personality became a turn off to some guys. SHE chose to date a guy that was a jerk, because "as long as he's nice to me...."

If you have this many people reaching out to you, but you're still single, sorry, it's your own decision to still be single. Because you're refusing to give people the chance. Be a grown up, and own up to it. There's tons of probably great girls that I haven't tried to talk to, because I'M not interested, not that they're not interesting.

Seriously, dude, grow a spine.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 65 (view)
 
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 8/10/2017 4:59:18 PM
Neither is going to happen. After this long, and this many complaints, and this many people just openly talking about how they block people just because they don't get their panties wet, nothing is going to change. It's just the way of dating sites. I'm actually banned from one because I messaged too many people who lived what they felt was too far away from me.

But nobody can figure out why so few guys tend to take these sites seriously anymore.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Would you be upset if your girl accepts free drinks when she goes out?
Posted: 8/2/2017 3:24:40 PM
Nobody said they have to accept drinks. But some people do, and that doesn't mean that they're trying bang each other.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 692 (view)
 
When women say there are no decent guys is what they really mean...
Posted: 8/2/2017 3:21:47 PM
[QUOTE]POF has a reported 90 million users. Somebody should tell those millions of people, that they are better off looking for love in the real world.[/QUOTE]

90 million people who are average attractiveness at best, refusing to give anyone a shot that doesn't use profile pictures that went through photoshop while the person in them has a full face of makeup. Both men and women on these sites are guilty of that.

It goes right back to the original idea of this thread. It's not that there's no decent guys, it's not that you're from too small of an area and there's just not enough choices.... These are just excuses. People seemed to have no problem meeting people in the past in these towns. Literally billions of great people are married to each other.

There's no good guys because you refuse to date good guys.
There's no good women because you refuse to date good women.
There's more than enough people to date in your town, but sorry, that insanely hot model just doesn't live there. Probably wouldn't even date you anyway.

Want to solve literally all your self-created dating problems?
1. Have realistic standards.
2. Understand that the fact you don't have all these great people throwing themselves at you means you're not as great as you think you are. You have flaws, both physical and in your personality. You're not perfect, and you don't deserve perfect.

Finding a great person to date is as simple as giving the great person a chance. But all anyone today cares about is looks and status. You don't want your future wife/husband, you want sex. And if you'd start just being honest with yourself, then it'll make your search a lot easier... because when it comes to looking for that person you want to start a family with, things like how they look and whether or not they have a gut tends to become WAY less important. But if when your first deciding factor is attraction, because "I wouldn't want to have sex with someone that I'm not attracted to," you're not looking for a relationship, you're looking for regular sex.
 ponyelvis82
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Would you be upset if your girl accepts free drinks when she goes out?
Posted: 8/2/2017 2:59:38 PM
[QUOTE]That's great when your single/available but when your with someone the thing to do is say "Thanks but no thanks. I'm seeing someone". That shows respect for the person your with and the other guy doesn't drop $10 for nothing. Your know random guys aren't buying you drinks because they have to much money in their wallet. It's part of the dating ritual. Talk a little, buy her a drink (or do that first) then continue from there. [/QUOTE]

What matters, though, that none of us know since we're not at the bar, is the situation.

This might come 0ff as a surprise, but a lot of people go to the bar to be social. To talk to random people, and just have fun. I've lost count of how many times I've bought drinks for people (both men and women), or had them bought for me, just for the simple fact of we were having a conversation. People tend to just do that. Buying a drink isn't always an attempt to get laid. But if the drink is bought BEFORE you start talking, then it's different. The situation matters, and if we're not there, no matter what, the story is going to be told so that what you want to be what actually happened is what happened.
 
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