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 Author Thread: Guys searching for you on FaceBook, etc., without asking & before you have met
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Guys searching for you on FaceBook, etc., without asking & before you have met
Posted: 10/17/2018 12:20:20 PM
You can make it to where people can't send you a friend request unless you two share mutual friends.

I don't currently have a FB but when I did, I didn't come across this issue. I never used my legal name and made it to where only people who my friends knew could send me messages or friend requests.

It's insanely easy to privatize your FB account if you must have one.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 287 (view)
 
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 10/16/2018 10:18:23 PM
^^^ aww thank you backcreek. You've always been so sweet via your posts on here :))))

Re: songs, here is a one that's appropriate for him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHu5htrtm-k

It's always been one of my favorites :))))
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 10/16/2018 6:43:19 PM
Now that I'm in my 30s, a virgin or inexperienced guy wouldn't be a turn-off IF he was young (18-25). In fact it'd be kind of hot! However....if he is my age or older and a virgin, I would take pause. It wouldn't be an automatic deal-breaker but he'd definitely get the side-eye.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 285 (view)
 
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 10/16/2018 6:33:38 PM
I'm currently dating a guy I met through work. He's an EMT so we don't work in the same department but I've had an attraction towards him since the first moment I saw him. Not only is he nice to look at, he is very personable, laid-back & easy to talk to. Many group outings later, I told him I liked him & we've been dating since mid-September.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/16/2018 11:08:18 AM

You picked your date. Might want to chat with person before meeting to try to avoid the folks with baggage.


True. Meeting people solely because they looked good in some photos is like going to battle without any armor.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Person puts first name at end of email?
Posted: 10/16/2018 11:02:41 AM
^ reminds me of a man who messaged me back in 2011 when I first joined POF who disclosed his full name and FB page on the very first message. Maybe his intentions were honest but it came across as trying too hard or just plain clueless.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 161 (view)
 
Would you date someone still living with their Ex?
Posted: 10/15/2018 5:28:38 PM

Well, maybe. And maybe not. I wouldn’t want to venture an opinion on that without at least seeing a picture.


Just because they're hot doesn't mean they should be given a pass on questionable behavior. That kind of thinking has gotten a lot people in trouble. I'd expect that more from some young, dumb, full of cum knuckleheads - not people who should know better.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 11:09:05 AM
NG seems to think his word is gospel and that everyone thinks like him in many topics, not just the whole "Brad Pitt" nonsense. People aren't going to respond well if you accuse them of lying because they don't think similarly to you. Not everyone follows the same standard of beauty or is starry-eyed over celebrities - that should be common sense.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Is it better to build comfort with multiple replies before getting their number?
Posted: 10/10/2018 11:32:45 AM
Interesting topic and I can see both sides. The vast majority of these first meets do not result in a LTR, whether you meet them quickly or not, so it's best to do what you want to do. I don't want to meet immediately nor do I want to talk/text for more than a week. It's about finding a happy medium.

I agree with July about the guys who want to meet too quickly are just looking for a quick lay. When I was dating online, I was dating in hopes of finding a long-term relationship so I wasn't just going to meet a bunch of different guys just because they found me attractive. I was more discerning and selective as to who I would make time for. I'd have a phone conversation or two with them first, just to see if we can hold a conversation together (nothing worse than going on a first date and the conversation is stale, dull & stagnant OR you have nothing in common with each-other) & then meet. That process would take ~ 3-7 days from the initial contact.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 438 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 10/10/2018 11:10:44 AM

The draft really doesn't have much to do with your creditworthiness. The draft really shouldn't be part of the conversation.


Tell that to the person who brought up the draft in the first place. It wasn't Boo.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 282 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/9/2018 2:38:01 PM
O_o @ Sienna's story. Hook-ups, casual encounters, etc. seem to bring out the worst qualities in (especially younger) people, aka "drama". The hook-ups I've had with older men usually went smoothly but it didn't amount to anything & we aren't on speaking terms anymore. The sex wasn't even all that great. One guy had to use Levitra, the other couldn't stay hard & blamed it on the condom. *Rolls eyes* They weren't bad guys but at the end of the day, most of my hook-ups were just a waste of time & it's soured my views on sex.

The younger guys I hooked up with (ages 23-25) were mostly of questionable character. The sex was better with them but so what? They were either dismissive or flat-out disrespectful after we had sex. Again, not worth my time. No d*ck is that great that's it's worth being ignored and disrespected, which happens A LOT when it comes to hook-up culture.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 274 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/9/2018 11:01:05 AM

Sometimes the sex just isn't worth the headache...


lol, agreed, especially if it's with a guy I know I have no future with.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/8/2018 12:34:05 PM

it is ALL over the place when it comes to women. Heck I could point out a country with 75 million women who mostly don't understand why Brad Pitt is attractive to women in the Anglo countries.


It's basically because they don't buy into Eurocentric beauty standards that most people, esp. in the West, blindly follow. Forget Brad Pitt & Scarlett Johansson. Yes, they are physically attractive but I'm not into those types nor do I put Eurocentric beauty on a pedestal. Give me Ben Simmons or Kat Graham, who are just as attractive but not as well-known. I tend to admire beauty of people who look similar to me anyway, it's healthier that way :)
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Aquariums and fish keeping
Posted: 10/6/2018 12:39:49 AM
My betta's water was barely 72 degrees fahrenheit (22.2 celcius) so I purchased a water heater a few days ago from PetSmart. I brought him home in late-June so the weather & his water were both warmer but now that it's cooling down, I noticed he was a bit more lethargic and wasn't flaring as much. The water heater presets to 77 degrees so that's the warmest the water has been since I purchased it. Since using the heater, he's been more energetic & flaring out more.

This betta has been the first fish I've had as a pet since I was 9-10 and back then, I wasn't really taking care of them (Jack Dempsies, Tetras & Oscars) - my father was. In the future I would like more fish but for now I live in a small apartment and don't have a bunch of room for extra tanks & aquariums. I wouldn't place another fish with my betta anyway. The tank (3 gal) is too small for multiple fish & bettas don't do well with most other fish either. It is nice to have the tank on my nightstand, and it's also therapeutic (esp. at night) because there are about 10 different colors of lights & settings that came with the aquarium.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Why is finding a date a top priority?
Posted: 10/4/2018 6:39:15 PM

I don't buy that anyone can really be happy being alone.


Same. Being alone may be OK for a short while but no one honestly wants to be without companionship for the rest of their life. Some people have learned to cope or settle for that but given a magic wand, they wouldn't actively choose that fate for themselves.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Date with someone your not into or go solo?
Posted: 10/2/2018 6:18:58 PM

I don't think I could date someone who slept with men. It would always make me fear he was gay and not really into women.


LOL....this post made me literally giggle. No judgment, everyone has their comfort zone and there are plenty of women who feel the same way while men think of it as an asset to date a bisexual or bicurious woman. There's one caveat to that though, the other woman has to be attracted to the guy too. Dating a bisexual woman is not an instant guarantee to threesome land. There's a reason why finding a third woman to fool around with a couple is referred to as "unicorn-hunting". Unicorns are extremely rare unless you go to one of those sleazy sex clubs but in civilian situations....good luck.

Re: dating a guy who has fo0led around with another man. It would depend on a few factors, how long ago was this? How many men? I once dated a guy who confided in me that he let another man go down on him after a party 10 years ago. He maintained it was one guy, one time. That wouldn't give me pause as much as a guy who was still engaging in blowjobs, etc. from or for other multiple guys.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Why is finding a date a top priority?
Posted: 9/30/2018 7:33:39 PM
It's not a top priority, neither is dating period. I've dated enough to know it's tedious and tiresome. I would like to be in a relationship but trying to find one via dating strangers (whether online or off) is an exercise in futility. My longest-lasting relationships were with men I already knew via work, school or mutual friends. I'll stick to what works.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Persistent people,flattering or a turn off?
Posted: 9/30/2018 7:15:25 PM
Most of the time it's a turn-off because it's from someone you're not interested in. Just the word choice "persistent" implies a nuisance, like a telemarketer. If it's someone I'm into, then it's not "persistent", it's "interested" or some other flattering adjective.

I have a co-worker who fits that description. He's so adamant about wanting me to go out to some club with him, so much so that other co-workers have mentioned to me, "Wow, he sounds very eager." I keep declining and he keeps asking me out. It's annoying, weird and very unattractive, even though the guy himself is physically attractive and I used to have hugest crush on him when he first started working there over a year ago. I feel like responding, "Go ask someone else." I'm sure it's not hard to find a woman to go to a club with you when you look like him...unless your approach, behavior and game are just terrible.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 41 (view)
 
How many partners is too much?
Posted: 9/30/2018 6:52:55 PM

Wow, I'm surprised at those of you who have never been asked your number. Almost every guy I talk with on pof eventually asks. Just like they ask my weight.


People are often more bold and blunt online, typing things they would never have the guts to say to anyone's face. I'm not surprised they ask you though, from your posts here it seems you don't exercise setting the best boundaries with men.

I've never been asked on pof about my sex number.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 135 (view)
 
Would you date someone still living with their Ex?
Posted: 9/30/2018 6:44:18 PM

Also, for some people, due to luck, where not Too much is needed if you have social/work connections + you're good looking -- situations occur that go quite smoothly. But yes, I can understand not stepping out of one's way to "tackle" the dating scene, yes.


Yes, that sounds like her (and me too). She gets a lot of offers but feels like dating is not worth her time. Living with the kids' father is enough to give anyone pause when it comes to meeting new guys. She told me she's been on dates but doesn't tell them her living situation because "it's none of their business unless we become serious." I'm pretty sure you can guess that it never gets serious. Like you said, it's easy to have a "meh" attitude about dating and meeting new people if you get a decent enough amount of attention in the real world AND still live with your ex.


When my ex-fiance and I were still living together after we broke up, I dated a bit but didn't take it seriously because of my living situation. It was nice to get some numbers and male attention (from guys I was actually attracted to) but I didn't let them get too close.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Together for 10+ years and still no cohabitation...cause for concern?
Posted: 9/28/2018 9:47:37 AM

The “ex catholic & doesn’t believe in birth control” does not even begin to cover that, not even close. As others have pointed out, abortion is one of the gravest sins to a catholic, or ex catholic, much much worse than birth control. So no, that doesn’t add up, not at all.


One of the many reasons why organized religion and those who follow it are often hypocritical...picking & choosing which principles they want to follow and which ones they want to throw out the window. My ex knew a woman many years ago who was like that as well, didn't believe in birth control but got at least one abortion. She claimed she was Catholic as well.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 127 (view)
 
Would you date someone still living with their Ex?
Posted: 9/27/2018 11:45:21 PM
No. I understand that exes may share residences for financial or child-rearing reasons but even if that's the case, I'm still not going to date them.

I have a co-worker who is a single mom w/ 3 kids. She is a pretty Latina with a body shaped like a Coca-Cola bottle and tells me she's been celibate for 7 years (her youngest child is 8). She's been asked out by other co-workers and even strangers when we have gone out for a drink after work. However, she claims she's not interested in dating & solely focused on her kids. Understandable. Last week she dropped a bomb on me....she lives with her kids' father! They've been broken up for 7 years & sleep in separate bedrooms. It's pretty damn easy to not date and turn down every iota of male interest when your ex is under the roof. I was shell-shocked when she first told me this but now it's not as shocking. It's probably a lot more common than we think, especially in areas where the cost of living is super high. She's a nurse, he's a bar manager so they do well financially. They're familiar & comfortable with each-other, especially since they've been in each-other's lives a total of 15 years.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 43 (view)
 
cream pies
Posted: 9/27/2018 9:05:12 PM
They were hot, especially after when I'd get up and still feel his seed dribbling out of me throughout the day at work, school, the store, etc. There were only 3 guys that I ever trusted that much to cum inside. They were long-term boyfriends and I was on hormonal BC.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Best friend is also his ex fiance?
Posted: 9/27/2018 6:34:31 PM

Not going to be cool with many guys (or girls when switching genders in the situation).


Understandable, but I don't have to date them, and vice versa. People had other lives, friends, relationships, etc. before they met you anyway. Anyone who'd expect me to cut my friends when I barely know them has control issues at the very least - and I'm not going to stick around to find out what other issues may arise.

An ex as a friend wouldn't be an automatic deal-breaker for me. It would depend on how close they are, do they still see/spend time together on a regular basis? Are they local or far away? Is the ex still single or attached? Individual situations will be dealt with accordingly.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/26/2018 12:18:19 PM

Not to state the obvious , but if I met compatible men in my real life I wouldn't be on this horrible dating site ;)


So there are NO eligible single or divorced boater men in your local boating circle? Or is this a case of being too picky?


An attractive woman with her own boat would no doubt be a welcome addition to the party circuit.


Agreed, Clytemnestra. If an attractive woman has a mostly male-oriented hobby or passion, she shouldn't need to be dependent on online dating.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Together for 10+ years and still no cohabitation...cause for concern?
Posted: 9/26/2018 11:55:47 AM

...... Hope the very best for your dad siisaa ! Tell him to hang in there, the pain will diminish as time goes by. Not only that but ~ life is often known for temporary disappointments, which turn into exciting new situations & opportunities.


Thank you :) Yes he is pretty torn up about it but knowing him, he'll be in another relationship in a few months. It's sad though because he told me a few years ago, "I want this to be my last relationship." :(

Re: 3 abortions. Apparently his ex is Catholic & doesn't believe in birth control. My dad has made some pretty suspect choices too in regards to contraceptives because I have a younger sister by his second wife. The 2nd wife told my father she was taking her pills but ended up pregnant.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 9/26/2018 11:38:53 AM

Enjoy what other WOMEN SAY,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLyCOFYBONY


LOL!!! I subscribe to NollaGirl, and a bunch of other conservative/right-wing women on YouTube. I am more liberal but I enjoy listening to their content even if I don't agree with all of their points. I've learned a lot from their videos. NollaGirl is actually the most ignorant & uninformed one. The others such as RoamingMillennial, Lauren Southern, Brittany Pettibone & Blonde in the Belly of the Beast substantiate their claims with stats and facts.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 49 (view)
 
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 11:26:06 AM

I have read comments on here that 'wants to date/nothing serious' is viewed as hookups or players. is this how it is perceived?


Not to me. I perceive it as the person wants to meet someone and just see where it goes. Nothing becomes serious until the people in the relationship decides it does, and like you said, that takes more than just a few dates. I don't take those "intents" that serious anyway. There are numerous people that don't even remember what they put as their "intent" unless you point it out to them.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/26/2018 11:20:04 AM

Perhaps in your area of Florida there are OLD sites geared specifically for boaters?


Or how about just meeting them in person, especially if she is already in a location where boating and boaters are aplenty? Surely there must be some boating meetup groups and other social groups dedicated to boating that she's aware of. OLD should be a secondary tool, since it comes with so many headaches that she's expressed already such as people not filling out their profiles or only messaging "hey sexy, hru?"
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Together for 10+ years and still no cohabitation...cause for concern?
Posted: 9/26/2018 10:56:09 AM

Your thoughts are unimportant in this situation.
You can think as highly or lowly of her as you wish.
However, if you denigrate her then you are criticizing your father's choice of the past decade.
You are condemning his choice.
You may be right, you may be wrong... but you are intruding in something that really is not your concern.

Think what you want but don't disparage her verbally.


I can have any thoughts I want in the matter - whether they be founded or unfounded. When someone confides in me about something, I am going to form an opinion. Your post wasn't even relevant to the topic at hand. If we all kept our opinions and thoughts about relationships and other people's relationships to ourselves, this forum wouldn't even exist.

How am I "intruding" when my father called & confided in ME about this? He lives 1,100 miles away from me thus we rarely see each-other. There is no "intrusion"...what are you even talking about?

"Disparage her verbally"? Do you go into the other countless threads on this forum where posters are critical of others' behavior at tell them not to "disparage ____" too?



I think thats common for that age. My moms friend is in her 60s and she doesnt want to move in with her boyfriend. She already did the family thing .


That would be truer if the woman was older but she is not. I made mention of that already. She is closer to my age.



Why did they break up?


From what I gathered, they broke up because of her non-committal approach and lack of investment towards him. Of course I am only getting his side of the story but there might have been something about my dad that she saw (or didn't see) that prevented her from being more serious about him.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Together for 10+ years and still no cohabitation...cause for concern?
Posted: 9/26/2018 1:47:42 AM
I definitely think she was not fully committed to my dad, she was much younger and had 3 abortions in the 10-year period they were a couple. Now I think at least one of those babies may not have been his.

My father has always been a serial monogamist and would not throw in the towel unless he was 100% without-a-doubt certain the relationship was NOT worth saving.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Worst reasons you've given when dumped?
Posted: 9/25/2018 11:59:02 PM

I think you're overdoing it


Agreed, along with him referring to himself in the 3rd person is his photo captions. No one likes a try-hard. The whole debacle is ironic considering he's claiming he's "genuine" in his username. LOL
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/25/2018 7:45:53 PM

Does any one else get frustrated with the lack of effort or common sense in people's profiles? Examples...writing just ask, or conversersly, a rambling profile which really doesn't share much relevant information


Frustrated? No. These are strangers. I only have this account for the forums but if I were to use online dating ever again (doubtful), I wouldn't take it so seriously. If a person's profile is barren, nonsensical and appears as if they put no effort in, I'd just bypass them. I am a woman of substance and I'm only going to be interested in the male equivalent.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Together for 10+ years and still no cohabitation...cause for concern?
Posted: 9/25/2018 7:27:42 PM
Hello all. I just got off the phone with my dad who was in a 10-year relationship with a woman. They recently broke up. In those 10 years, his ex-girlfriend never wanted to move in with him. He owns his own home. In fact she lived alone in 3 separate apartments during their relationship. They also live in L.A., where the cost of living is very high so they were both shelling out a lot in expenses instead of shacking up to help offset mortgage/rent & bills.

My dad claims it's her lack of commitment/seriousness towards him that caused the demise of their relationship. He asked her repeatedly to move in with him and she refused. What I wanted to tell him was it sounded like she was seeing other people, or at least wanted to keep that option open. I decided to keep that to myself to spare his feelings and he's a 56-year-old man with plenty more life experience than I. I'm pretty sure that's already crossed his mind.

Thoughts? What would keep you from co-habitating 10 years into a relationship? Would this be a cause for concern for you if your SO refused to move in & you were both in a LTR?
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Best friend is also his ex fiance?
Posted: 9/25/2018 7:16:18 PM

"No new guy is going to hold a higher priority than my Ex-Boyfriends (who are my friends)."


Nah, most of my exes I'm no longer in contact with at all. With the two who are my friends, they're more than just an "ex-boyfriend".
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Best friend is also his ex fiance?
Posted: 9/25/2018 2:23:55 PM

Am I dealing with a player or is it possible to be friends with an ex? I think he is still friends with a lot of his exes....opinions?


Ask yourself if YOU are okay with his friendship with his ex-fiance. Whether you continue to see him or not, they will be in each other's lives. Put simply, she's not going anywhere nor should she. He's known her much longer than he's known you & he's had way more invested in her than you.

I'm still friends with 2 of my exes. One of them I've known for 12 years and the other I've known for 6 years. No new guy is going to hold a higher priority than established friends. If said new guy and I date and progress into a relationship, then he will hold more priority than friends but that place is not given right off the bat, for either of us.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 291 (view)
 
why do do many women have body type = thin
Posted: 9/24/2018 1:11:17 PM

As to why people lie about their age, height and/or weight I feel they hope that once you meet them you will be able to see past how they look and see them for their good qualities.


Idealistic, self-serving intentions at best. The person may have a bunch of awesome qualities but being a liar is not one of them. And most people treat lying as a deal-breaker.

I've known of one catfish situation turning out in a favorable way but this case was definitely an exception, not the rule. Many years ago, I worked with a girl who was very short, chubby & frumpy with limp dark hair and glasses. She put a picture of a hot blonde on her MySpace profile and a guy contacted her and they began dating, even after he met her and saw that she was NOT the girl in the photos. Long story short, they are now married with 2 kids. I met him a few times and I can only speculate that he accepted her lies because he was no prize himself. He was awkward, unattractive with bad skin, greasy flaky hair and poor posture. Something tells me neither the girl or guy in this story had a bunch of other options so that's why they just stuck with each-other.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/24/2018 10:22:54 AM
Honestly I don't think it'll make much of a difference. Most guys treat these sites as children's books with the big colorful pretty pictures and very little text. Only respond to guys if it shows that they have actually read your profile and are not just complimenting your appearance.

If a man is messaging a woman, it's pretty much a guarantee he finds her physically attractive on some level. There is no use in commenting on her looks.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Date with someone your not into or go solo?
Posted: 9/23/2018 8:06:12 PM
I'd attend solo or with a male friend, beats going with someone I"m "not into". I'd enjoy my friend's company over some pity date anyday.

I attended a friend's wedding solo a few months ago and had a blast. There was good music, good food and an open bar. I danced with a couple of guys & got some numbers (they were all single btw). Wow, that was a fun day! (smiles)
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Should I respond to messages from guys I will not meet?
Posted: 9/23/2018 7:35:46 PM
^ you're forgetting an important detail: quality > quantity.

By captainkitty's profile it reads as if generic comments pertaining to her looks are not conversation-starters in her book. She wants messages of quality and not just "hey sexy", "hey beautiful", etc.

If that's the case, I agree. Guys who have nothing else to mention except my looks get dismissed rather quickly.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/22/2018 9:04:04 PM
^^^ Hemingway has a point. The higher the number, the more high-risk they are. By high-risk I mean, a higher-risk to my sexual health. When you sleep with someone, especially if it's unprotected (and we all know condoms are not the ultimate safeguard to STIs), you are exposing yourself to not only them but whoever they had sex with in the past. Of course there may be those anomalies such as a virgin who caught something the first time he/she had sex but generally that's not the case.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 104 (view)
 
Why do women include pics of pets?
Posted: 9/21/2018 10:06:48 AM

we all have hobbies and interests and if it is a huge part of your life, show it but pets, kids, deer heads and cars should be secondary and YOU should be primary.


Ideally, yes, we should all be primary before a person's hobbies but we have to earn that place in a person's life, and vice versa.

Re: online dating, some guy I've only met a few times is not going to come before my beloved hobbies or pets. If we continue dating and become a long-term couple, then their place in my life would be prioritized. A person's children will always come first, and if they did put me before their children and we're only just dating, I'd question their parenting and judgment.

You cannot expect to the primary when you're practically strangers, which is the case when browsing profiles and even if you do go on a first meet.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 93 (view)
 
what is so wrong with a single dad?
Posted: 9/21/2018 9:59:38 AM

So, I wondered why could not she do it easier, and at this time she would not worry about dating a single man or a single dad?


How would me getting a tubal litigation or hysterectomy be "easier"? Like I said before, most OBGYNs would refuse to perform those procedures on me. You conveniently ignored that point. It'd be easier to find a man who is a single father who already has a vasectomy. In fact, all of the men I've known who had the snip done were older (40+) with children.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 205 (view)
 
Tattoos or No Tattoos?
Posted: 9/20/2018 10:49:55 AM
^^^ ahhhh, that is refreshing to hear. Good for you! :)))) It is never too late to find yourself.


Let's all get drunk and get tattoos! Come on, live a little! You know you wanna!

You go first!


Nah, I'm good. YOU go first LOL

Reminds me that alcohol thins the blood, which is the worst time to get a tattoo.

When I was 16, I was visiting my cousin in Rhode Island (she was attending Brown) and decided to use her ID to try and get a tattoo. They laughed me out of that shop.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Why do women include pics of pets?
Posted: 9/20/2018 10:43:04 AM
Because they want to. I've seen it in men's profiles too. If it bothers you so much, bypass their profiles. Keep it simple, stupid.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 317 (view)
 
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 9/20/2018 10:40:37 AM
^ lol, depends on how she feels about him. Refer to my 11-page-long "What is Creepy?" thread. If it's a man a woman is attracted to, it's harmless flirting. If it's someone she is repulsed by, it's harassment.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Should I respond to messages from guys I will not meet?
Posted: 9/20/2018 10:36:55 AM
Many years ago, there used to be options on POF for "Talk/E-mail" & " I am looking for a Pen-Pal" under intent but they did away with those. There's nothing inherently wrong with just wanting someone to talk to, given your current situations and all. It's best that you and the guy(s) are on the same page though. The vast majority of men on POF are looking to actually meet. A lot of men will believe that if you're communicating with them on here, you're open to meeting. Do they know you're not interested in meeting but rather bored, lonely & passing the time? I'm not a fan of misleading people even if the intentions are good. Misleading & giving false hope are 6 of one, half a dozen of the other.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 201 (view)
 
Tattoos or No Tattoos?
Posted: 9/20/2018 12:08:07 AM

You come across to me as a bit of an old soul, but I could be wrong. I'm intrigued again that you're quite different than your cookie cutter peers.


Thank you CoolD :) I've been told I am an old soul before as well, it's a compliment. You strike me as a non-conformist too.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 314 (view)
 
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 9/20/2018 12:04:07 AM

Calling total BS on that one.

The #MeToo movement isn't about getting chatted up by a stranger. It's about being sexually assaulted, raped, and other forms of sexual intimidation. HUGE difference between the forms of assault under MeToo and casual conversation.


It may have started out with those intentions but it has degenerated into demonizing men for any and every little thing. Young women who bemoan "ew, creep!!!!" at guys who talk to them but then whine in the same breath that no one approaches them come to mind. A lot of decent men simply don't want to risk chatting up women in public anymore, especially with sexual assault & harassment accusations flying about.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 85 (view)
 
what is so wrong with a single dad?
Posted: 9/19/2018 11:45:50 PM

A simple logical question, if you see a single father is plus, and you do not want kids, why do not you have Tubal Ligation or removing your womb, rather than expecting a man with vasectomy or castration?


Vasectomies are reversible, cheaper and less invasive than a hysterectomy or tubal litigation. Most physicians will not perform those on a childless woman my age anyway. I'm completely single and not dating anyone at the moment so there's no reason to consider any birth control options, whether they be permanent or temporary. I don't "expect" a vasectomy, it's simply a preference. If I met the right guy and he didn't want children either, then we'd weigh our options together. I'm not sterilizing myself for some mythical dude and I don't expect a man to do that either. However, if he already had a vasectomy before meeting me, that'd be a plus. Hysterectomies also have the negative consequence of driving a woman into instant menopause.
 
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