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 Author Thread: Shedding the nice guy.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Shedding the nice guy.
Posted: 8/20/2018 9:35:06 PM

You surprised me with this. You look quite feminine, but that only tells part of the story. What is lacking in your femininity and what are you doing to change that?


Yeah, my looks may be deceiving, lol. I curse & talk about crude topics a lot and am not very nurturing or warm - more like aloof and standoffish, especially in social situations. I'm working on being kinder. I've read tons of articles on femininity and what they basically boiled down to is when a woman is SWEET, gentle, compassionate & modest. I admire women who are feminine AND who are not afraid to show it, especially in today's culture. Feminine women may get derided and mocked especially by feminists (ugh). Those feminine qualities make women stand out, especially in our era of SJWs and over the top gender-neutrality.

These twins are feminine, especially the blonde one. Just her disposition and demeanor screams "feminine".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQCfqyIj6I0&
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 463 (view)
 
Women making the first move...
Posted: 8/20/2018 7:02:30 PM
^ good points. July's predicament sounds like ones we're heard before but with different details. Too many people are too stuck on what they want instead of why someone else should even want them. What makes you favorably stand out from the next man/woman?

I remember you saying one of the more recent guys you were talking to/hooking up with is talking to other women, which judging by what you've told us, would be what most men would do. Most men aren't going to put all their eggs in one basket for a woman who has so much baggage.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 182 (view)
 
why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/20/2018 6:28:29 PM
^ welcome to online dating. There are some guys whose looks or height weren't all that impressive but we dated because I met them in person first & got to know them beyond superficial stats that are on a dating profile. However, had they merely cold-messaged me on a dating site, chances are I would've ignored them.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Do people Not have Morals anymore?
Posted: 8/19/2018 7:14:55 PM
^^^ LOL couldn't have said it better myself. Certain people need to consider the pond they're fishing in before getting all pissy about ppl not having "morals". I tell people this all the time when they gripe about the low-quality fish they're meeting...."Don't fish in a swamp expecting to find a good catch."

Also, the vast majority of people DO have morals. Their morals may not align with yours but that hardly means they don't have any at all.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/19/2018 6:52:49 PM

Because if it's not legal, there's a very good chance the police will come take him away.


True, and depending on your living arrangement, they could take you away too and seize all of your belongings. Dinno is dense. There are so many stories of mostly young, foolish women who think that being a "ride or die" chick is fun or exciting until they're charged with being an accomplice and conspirator to certain crimes. No, sis. I'd rather be with someone who has their shit together.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 435 (view)
 
Women making the first move...
Posted: 8/19/2018 6:41:18 PM
It's much easier for people to dismiss you or think you're out of their league if all they go off of are some pictures on a dating profile. I like the story in post #429. If Mr. Hot-Shot 6'3" Engineer just saw the short, overweight daycare teacher w/ glasses on a dating profile, chances are he would've ignored her. However....it was the choice of song and her beautiful voice that drew him in. We miss so much potential from both being on these types of sites & judging others' attractiveness on these sites too.

I love a beautiful singing voice too. Most times, that'll make an average-looking person automatically appear more attractive to me when I see & hear them singing or creating beautiful music. It has to be a song I actually like, not just anything.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Settling
Posted: 8/19/2018 11:05:08 AM

Most people have a distance limit-will not date someone if they live too far away. If people will only date someone local, isn't that settling? Mr./Miss Perfect-For-Me could live thousands of miles away, but people would rather settle for someone that lives close by out of convenience.


If they are, in fact, "Perfect for Me", they wouldn't live thousands of miles away. One of the criteria of being a good, we're not even talking about "perfect", match is accessibility. I for one am not interested in any long-distance relationships, which have a higher failure rate than local ones. Meeting that special someone, dating and relationships already present enough challenges, why add more road-blocks? I wouldn't count only dating local people as settling, more like being realistic. Taking OLD completely out of the dating equation, who else would you date? People you come into contact with in your day to day.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 172 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/18/2018 7:27:36 PM

Sometimes the nicest men can be the biggest players. If a man wants to play a woman why would he treat her mean?


I think that's considered "charm". Some of the most charming men turn out to be players and scumbags. If they seem like they're too familiar with women and saying everything you want to hear, beware. That also applies if you feel like you're in a fog everytime you're with them, and nothing else matters. They have cast a spell on you!
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 106 (view)
 
Settling
Posted: 8/18/2018 12:05:27 AM

They want someone without factoring in what they'll have to give up or what they're offering and wonder why they continue to be single.


Excellent point.

"Settling" and the whole concept of it has been on my mind a lot lately. More often than not, it gets a bad rap. However, I don't believe it's "settling" if it's the best quality person who have been with in recent history, regardless of if it's who you really want. Just because you desire a particular person or type of person does not mean that is the best choice for you long-term.

Especially if one has a pattern of choosing or being attracted to the wrong types of people and they happen to meet a person who is good to/for them, there is mutual attraction and they get along.....it's not settling just because the aforementioned isn't their preferred type or "dream girl/guy".
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 135 (view)
 
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/16/2018 11:56:26 AM

I have been celibate since my last divorce and the separation started in 2005.


Good on you! Any particular reason(s) you care to share?

I am too, although it's only been a year. I'm single & not dating anyone so there's no reason for me to be having sex.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 145 (view)
 
why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/16/2018 11:47:38 AM

Curvy basically means shape. Curves are sexy -- rather than thin/no-shape. But obviously the term's misused for PC reasons, as curvy shouldn't imply fat. It Should just mean "I'm not thin, but my body's not 'average' -- I've got some curves to me." A gal with a slim waist, wide hips, and some meat on her chest and backside allows her to carry more weight without negative visual repercussions... but I think society's taken that a little too far to still place one as "Curvy". Of course, the same goes with "Average", and definitely "A little overweight". :)


Yes, curvy in the truest sense of the word is sexy, not the deluded version a lot of overweight women believe they are. I once had an ex tell me, "I like curves, not corners."

I had a girlfriend who was the definition of curvy. She had 34DDs, small waist, wide hips & an ass you could rest a shot glass on. On her OKC profile, however, she chose "average" as her body type. I asked her why she chose that instead of curvy. She replied that curvy has been synonymous with "fat" & she didn't want to hinder her chances at meeting someone, even though she had a full-bodied photo on her profile. Understandable. However, that's an online dating hang-up. Meet people IRL and you'll see their body (along w/ other traits that could increase or decrease their desirability such as personality, attitude & energy) for yourself. Less guesswork.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Shedding the nice guy.
Posted: 8/15/2018 8:51:57 PM
Forget a "nice guy".....I prefer a good-hearted, kind-natured man who is still strong, masculine and will put me in my place if needs be. However, I'm not the most feminine woman so I need to work on myself in many regards if I seek to attract what the kind of man I yearn for.

Re: "nice guys" - If you let people walk all over you, regardless of gender, you won't be respected. "Nice guy" has become synonymous with pushover. We all want our partners to be nice but not milquetoasts. There is a distinct difference.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Does being single stop you from doing what you want?
Posted: 8/14/2018 10:12:37 AM
No, not entirely. There are certain limitations however. I am very much a homebody in some regards & enjoy hobbies such as cooking, reading and watching Netflix/Prime so those are independent of me having a partner.

I do enjoy hiking, exploring nature and traveling & would not do those alone, especially the hiking & traveling. The most I'd feel comfortable with doing alone would be taking a walk/jog in a park.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/13/2018 3:28:45 PM

Ladies - is there a profession that is common for men?


I'm pretty sure that information can be found online (Bureau of Labor Statistics). Anyway, in this region, most of the men I've met (that did not work at my job) were in IT. When I lived in San Diego, there were a disproportionately high number of men in the military I'd meet in my day to day. I also had a civilian job on the Naval base & when I'd go out with my girlfriends in the major club/bar district, the scene was crawling with military dudes.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/13/2018 12:36:26 PM

I don’t care for cold caller types/salesmen.


Me either. Brings up another point: I wouldn't want to share finances/a home with someone whose income is based on 100% commission. Too unstable.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 213 (view)
 
She had many men
Posted: 8/12/2018 9:44:13 PM

IF I have a friend and I really like them THE last thing I would want to do is mess up that friendship when I meet someone and no longer want to continue the sexual part of the relationship...I am not investing my emotions on a man I know will not make a good partner. I would rather invest that in a real friendship or real relationship.


Agreed. If I had a male friend with whom there was mutual physical attraction, good sex AND we got along, then we're going to be a couple. The only time I'd have sex with a male friend is if we were converting from friends to dating. If I just have an itch that needs to be scratched, then that's what an FB is for...not a legitimate friend.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/12/2018 6:35:16 PM
If I'm just casually dating them, then not as much. If I'm looking to potentially build a life with this person, then yes, I do care more. It boils down to what a person's priorities are and our long-term goals.

With my ex-fiance, it took him over 2 years after earning his masters to find a permanent, full-time, well-paying job. In those 2 years, we kept separate residences & he had a series of odd jobs. I had a permanent FT job the entire 4+ years we were together. We did not move in together until he also found a permanent FT job.

Yes, I do care and it does matter especially if we're moving to that next step.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/12/2018 6:04:07 PM
Instant chemistry also clouds a person's judgment. You could have great chemistry and a burning attraction for a person who turns out to be a liar, cheater, abuser, etc., etc. There are literally hundreds of stories shared by people on this forum who were burned by a person who turned out differently than what they thought but hey...."he/she was hot!" &"we had such great chemistry!" Truth is, a lot of people are decent actors, it's one of the many pitfalls of trying to date strangers.

I agree with ssm (as per usual). I've been on dates with hot men but there was little to no chemistry. It takes more than looks to impress me, and you too. For be to be remotely seriously about the guy (and vice versa), we need to have more in common than finding each-other attractive & fleeting sparks.

I've had great chemistry with men on first dates but here I am: still single. It's not the be-all to end-all. Once we actually got to dating each other, we found out other qualities/characteristics that rendered us an incompatible match. With online dating, there's way too much of an emphasis put on physical attraction and instant chemistry. The latter is elusive as hell when meeting virtual strangers so you're already being set up for failure. Unless, of course, you change your approach.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Safe Dating
Posted: 8/10/2018 7:53:46 PM
^ too bad he is moving away soon but you sound content about the situation. I hope that you're able to move on emotionally when he does move away, since you've stated that you're the type to catch feelings.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Safe Dating
Posted: 8/7/2018 8:52:18 PM

A woman asked me if she could bring a friend and her friend's boyfriend to a first date / meeting. I said no. That's going overboard in terms of being insecure and paranoid. Plus that could make a date more awkward for me because I would be the "5th wheel".


Honestly, that was very thoughtless on her part. She'd have a good time regardless because her people are there. You, however, would more likely feel uncomfortable & out of place. I understand women wanting to be cautious, but that was unreasonable.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/6/2018 8:36:46 PM
From 2013 - 2017, I was in a relationship, then engaged. We called off the engagement last June and I began dating in July. Since then, I've been on 3 second dates but nothing ever materialized. Most of the dates I'd been on since my engagement ended were one and dones.

Out of the three men I went on second dates with, only one (guy #1) I really liked but he turned out to be shady and a liar. We went on a total of 6 dates. Guy #2 was closeted gay (we went on 3 dates, fooled around, he now has a boyfriend) and guy #3 I wasn't feeling. We went on 3 dates but I stopped seeing him after that. I was still hung up Guy #1 so that killed any chance of progressing with Guy #3. I met #1 on Bumble, #3 on Tinder and #2 at a house party years ago.

Out of the three, the only second date that was "good" was Guy #1, probably because I liked him the most. We went hiking at a beach trail near my place and then sat on a big log and just talked.
Guy #2: Our second date wasn't bad, but not that memorable except we went to a beach at night and made out in his car. He was giggling like a little girl as we were kissing so that should've been a sign that that was not going to work out.
Guy #3: Our second date was at a bar where we chatted and then watched people sing karaoke.

Hook-ups don't count. The first guy I met after my engagement ended and I did everything but intercourse on our first date. The next day, he came over, we had sex and then went out to eat afterwards. I don't count that as a date though.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/6/2018 7:57:01 PM
^ good point. A lot of people thrive on drama and conflict. A nice person is "too boring". I've seen women especially trying to change a man like he's a project of some sort. "Taming the beast" so to speak. A good man doesn't present that challenge.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Fist
Posted: 8/6/2018 7:53:48 PM
I watched him administer himself an enema with a shower-head. Still....shit. Anyway, I chalk it up to crossing something off my "f ucket list" LOL! (although it was never something I was overly curious about trying)
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Safe Dating
Posted: 8/5/2018 6:48:25 PM

oh if that was only true....
unfortunately....it is not...


Yes it is true, especially if it's happened more than once. People just choose to ignore the signs because they "like" the person. It's easier to remain a victim than it is to take responsibility and ownership over one's own poor judgment of character.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Fist
Posted: 8/5/2018 6:23:49 PM
I fisted my ex-boyfriend. It was his request, probably because I have small hands. My hand was covered in shit. Suffice to say, I'm not easily grossed out nor will I do that again (even with gloves).
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/5/2018 2:43:25 PM

Not everyone gets a ton of dates. Not everyone has experienced being with someone they liked that often. Its easy for some people to say there's so many fish in the see or that the right person will come along eventually but for some people that's not likely the case.


I agree July. It's easy for me to get dates but harder to meet a man who'll I have a mutual connection with AND who I'm actually attracted to. It hurts when I find that and then it ends. I'm also not of the mindset of "there'll always be someone else." I'm a person who values quality > quantity and I don't care for meeting a lot of strangers. I much prefer connecting with a particular man, building on that and cultivating our relationship rather than going on a bunch of first dates that lead to nothing.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/4/2018 12:56:06 PM
^ are you braindead? (Something you had asked me before)
July lives in a very small, rural town where everyone knows everyone else's business. That wouldn't fare well for her or her children.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Safe Dating
Posted: 8/4/2018 12:44:23 PM

very rarely are you going to know someone is a psycho until they go psycho!!


There are always signs that a person must be a bit "off". Too many folks are blinded by good looks, good sex, good chemistry, etc to have a lucid view of what is transpiring before their very eyes. If you have a history of dating such people, then I have less sympathy when they are suddenly "blindsided" by this other person's psychotic ways. I've been there, done that. Once was enough. Not going down that dark road again.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 372 (view)
 
SHDP
Posted: 8/4/2018 10:59:47 AM
^ not necessarily. Just because a person has a lot of sex, especially if it's with people they barely know, doesn't mean they actually enjoy sex. There are many people with broken self-esteem who use sex as a means to gain validation or acceptance. Having sex with a bunch of people indiscriminately is not healthy - physically or emotionally. As far as being a sperm bucket or cobweb bucket, I'd opt for neither. The only man I'd willingly be a cum dumpster for is my actual boyfriend or husband.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 716 (view)
 
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill the value of a woman?
Posted: 8/4/2018 10:53:23 AM

What questions should be off limits on a first date to avoid having the conversation resemble a job interview?


The first thing that springs to mind is "What's your favorite _____?" questions. Those typically arise when there's nothing else to discuss or when the conversation comes to a stall. I love it when I meet someone and feel like I've known them for a long time based on our conversation. It doesn't even feel like a date, more like you're catching up with an old friend. It's also extremely rare.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 33 (view)
 
What would you tell your younger dating self?
Posted: 8/2/2018 11:40:20 PM
You're not the shit like you think you are.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Ghosting Friends
Posted: 8/2/2018 11:16:00 PM
^ huh? This thread is about ghosting as it pertains to friendships.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Fuck pof.
Posted: 8/2/2018 11:13:03 PM
every young person in L.A. thinks they are an aspiring model or actor. the attitudes of many angelenos are so off-putting and pretentious. it's one of the reasons I will NEVER move back there (unless in case of a family emergency)
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 227 (view)
 
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 8/2/2018 10:59:07 PM
No thanks. ~ 7 years ago, I dated a guy with mental illness and firmly believe that had I stuck around, he would/could have caused me physical harm. It was a roller coaster - not the fun kind. When things were good, they were REALLY good (including the amazing sex) but when we were on the rocks....it was volatile. It was hard as hell to extract myself from the situation because I wanted to hold onto the fond memories.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Getting blocked by someone for no apparent reason
Posted: 8/2/2018 10:13:44 PM

I like yer style Dayna....


Same. I've been a fan of her no-nonsense, practical, down to earth posts for ages.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 669 (view)
 
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill the value of a woman?
Posted: 8/2/2018 3:06:30 PM
For me to have sex on the first date, it better be a really, really good date! Great chemistry, free-flowing exhilarating conversation, mutual physical attraction...unfortunately, all of the above has not happened in my experience. The majority of first dates have been on the awkward side. I liken them to an interview over food and/or drink.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/2/2018 2:29:22 PM
^ that's what I noticed too. Why, of all people, would he be deleted? He's one of the most level-headed and rational posters here, even when people disagree with him. Same with Ssm/south_city. Hopefully GTO deleted his own account and is just taking a break from the forums.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 231 (view)
 
When did asking your bra size become socially acceptable?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:43:45 PM
Haha. I've only had one guy ask that but I was horny and wore a low-cut top with lots of cleavage out on purpose.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:27:21 PM
Women with low self-esteem or self-worth are drawn to men who treat them poorly, especially if that's all what was in her dating past. Success scares a lot of people, especially those who are accustomed to failure. That is why you'll see many people ignore, dismiss or sabotage any good catch who may be interested in them. Being treated well and appreciated is a foreign concept to them. They are only comfortable, not necessarily happy, if they are left hanging & insecure about where they stand with a person they're dating.

The entire "why don't women like good guys?" predicament has been argued to death. If women didn't continually give their time and attention to ***holes, maybe it wouldn't appear like nice guys finish last. Also, we have to have more to offer than just being "nice". Nice should be a given, or nice enough. A man could be nice as pie and respectful to women but if he's unattractive, obviously out of shape, awkward, boring, has no backbone, financially irresponsible/unstable or lacks confidence, then he'll be dismissed in favor of someone who is more exciting with a good mouthpiece...enter the possible ***hole guy.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 7/31/2018 1:11:14 PM

Ah yes. The infamous "all of the good men are taken" line that a lot of single women like to spout. Whenever I hear a single woman stating that, my first thought is: "Why didn't any of these good/highest quality men choose you?"


I have had high-quality men who were interested in me but I was too busy pining over nonviable men. By nonviable, I don't mean they were all 'bad boys' or ***holes but they were men I had no chance with. It'd be foolish of me to expect those good men to stick around and wait until I was ready to choose them. Long story short: those good-quality men have all moved on and are either happily married or partnered with other women who actually appreciated him.

So Sienna does have a point. Don't wait too long & expect the good catches will still be waiting for you in your 30s and above. Men can afford to wait longer. Their shelf life and sexual market value are more prolonged than women's. Especially if a woman wants to get married and start a family, she shouldn't wait too long. There are too many women who put careers and degrees first and blindly expect she'll still have the same prospects in her mid-30s as she did in her 20s.


Would men get sympathy if a guy was to say: "All of the good women are taken"?


Not from me. I actually had a male acquaintance say something along the lines of, "Are there any faithful, loyal & honest women left?" I told him the same thing I've told women who bemoan similar grievances. He has probably met some women who would have made a good girlfriend or wife but he either rejected her because she was too boring, hot his "type", not hot enough, didn't put out fast enough, etc., etc. OR....those high-quality, marriageable, loyal women didn't want HIM for whatever reasons.



Does that mean everybody else is just left over scraps?


Somewhat. After a certain age, it's much harder to find someone to settle down with, especially women. A majority of people's dating & mating is done between 20-30. After that, the vast majority of people are already paired off. Our dating pools shrink or become more polluted overtime.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 602 (view)
 
How to find out penis size
Posted: 7/30/2018 7:07:05 PM

^^^The clear answer would be no. Height, hands or feet size etc aren't general indicators of penis size.


In college I took a human sexuality class and our professor told us the most accurate indicator of a man's penis size was his biological father's size. Even then, it's not an exact science. She also prefaced, "Men, you may not have wanted to know this about your dad." I was dating someone at the time and told him. He looked disappointed and said he'd call his dad to cuss him out. "Damn, dad....why didn't you hook me up?" LOLOLOLOL!!!
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 601 (view)
 
How to find out penis size
Posted: 7/30/2018 7:01:45 PM
See it in person. Erect.

I try to be mindful of my facial expressions the first time a guy shows me. I don't want to look put-off or disapproving. So many men are so insecure about their penii, and that goes for if they have an average-sized one too - not just tiny.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Need some help. Can't get women to respond
Posted: 7/30/2018 5:47:22 PM
You are attractive, physically active/fit & enjoy the outdoors. Are there any local cycling, yoga, mountain biking or hockey-fan groups where you can meet like-minded individuals and possibly foster a relationship from there? At the very least, you'll be making friends. I wouldn't take online dating so seriously. You should keep your expectations low and skin thick. Otherwise, you'll lose your sanity. Good luck!
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 7/30/2018 12:02:50 PM
^^^ getting superficial attention is the not the same as finding success in dating/relationships. I've gotten literally thousands of "likes" and comments on my Instagram photos, and here I am, still single while my girlfriends who are roughly the same age are married and starting families of their own. Even my gay male friends are partnered.

I'd say each gender has their own set of challenges. At the end of the day, you need to be the type of man/woman another man/woman will actually WANT to be with. Too many people who are dating & looking are too stuck on what they want (often desiring the wrong types of people) instead of taking into account what they actually bring to the table.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 165 (view)
 
Why do people ghost/disappear on the people they are dating?
Posted: 7/30/2018 11:25:47 AM

Everybody wants to be the rejector....... he who rejects feels better than the one who is rejected.


I used to ascribe by this line of thinking. At the end of the day, the rejector is still single and has to start all over (i.e. date) with someone new. What is really to gain by rejecting someone first, besides a fleeting ego boost?
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Are men who don't ask questions self absorbed?
Posted: 7/30/2018 10:49:01 AM
I've observed this more with female acquaintances. All they'll do is talk about themselves (usually guy drama) with the occasional "how are you doing?" or "how have you been?" which is basically to fill a quota. When you give them advice about this guy drama they're in, they don't take it because all they want to do is hear themselves talk. It's also happened with a few guys I went out on dates with (only talking about themselves or topics that only interested him). Suffice to say, that was our last date.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 7 (view)
 
why do I have no luck with girls?
Posted: 7/29/2018 9:49:48 PM
^ yeah I agree Texas. OP has some nice features but that hair and makeup look pretty scary. Tone it down for starters. Your foundation is several shades lighter than your skin tone (i.e. the neck & face contrast). The orange wig/weave does not complement whatever skin tone you're trying to achieve. Again, tone it down. Wear more understated makeup, learn to apply it correctly and embrace your natural hair.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Bartender story- advice needed!
Posted: 7/28/2018 11:22:43 PM
also OP, do you want to date a woman who gives her number out to men? Or do you think you're special? Regarding occupations, a bartender is the LAST person you should date if you're unsure of yourself, insecure or have trust issues.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Bartender story- advice needed!
Posted: 7/28/2018 10:30:47 PM
You're overthinking this. Bartenders are usually friendly and flirty, & with a lot of patrons so they could garner more tips. Sometimes I'll get a guy's number instead of giving him mine, especially if I'm not all that into him, because I don't want unsolicited phone calls/texts from a man I'm not interested in.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Would you have children with someone you wouldn't have a longterm relationship with?
Posted: 7/25/2018 10:21:55 PM

Having kids with someone you don't plan to be with is wrong and irresponsible. A single mother environment is the worst for kids.


Agreed, especially when little boys are in the home. Women cannot teach a boy how to be a man. Period.
 
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