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 Author Thread: Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/6/2010 11:37:10 AM

So I guess what I'd like to know is if any other guys have experienced this?

lol, well what I experienced was women liked me more when I was more groomed. When i was younger i actually "worked" on my appearance. Then something happened and I stopped. The only thing I do now is work out and i don't do that for women. Now for me it's mainly t-shirt and jeans or nothing. I wouldn't say that the Manly man is dying, but I do see a spike in "Male Feminism" my brother loves them damn skinny jeans (something I thought was originally made for females) Que sera, sera!


This is actually the main reason I started this to see if this is something that I just read, or if other people have had experiences that are similar, or at the very least relate-able.

As far as grooming and care in your appearance, I'm sure there is a relation there. The metrosexual clearly puts more thought and effort into his outward physical appearance then the grease monkey that rebuilds engines.

The problem is both of those examples are extremes. Jeans and a t-shirt aren't necessarily sign that you care less for your appearance. I wouldn't wear them if I had a dinner reservation at Morton's, but going out to a bar/club/concert/ect I don't think its completely unacceptable. Especially when there are entire clothing lines dedicated to making jeans and a t-shirt look good.


Perhaps it is our obsession with innovation that creates such diversity in mate selection? Who knows.


I like this concept. As humans it's our nature to rebel against norms, to try to reinvent the wheel, even if it's not necessary. I think that would easily match with the revised theory of compounding influences on how our choices are made.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/6/2010 11:24:49 AM
I think this whole thread is an interesting biology experiment. For instance, if you are a female and outside of the age range being discussed, you are considered invalid and completely ignored.

It goes to prove what is true of all such discussions of biology: It is not truth being sought, it is validation of ones own opinion that is sought and argued.


Actually no. By being outside the discussed age range you are the control group, you are the closest thing we have for a baseline. For there to be an observation of change there has to be something to base it on. The idea I'm putting forward is that a modern change, I.E. something to is relevant to young women in my age group, so someone in your age group is what Im benchmarking against.

Please dont try to troll a threat just because you arent "included"

And I've actually unvalidated my own opinion, a few times now, and changed my thoughts based on what others have said.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
The Truth. Under What Conditions, Should It Be Expected, If Ever?
Posted: 2/4/2010 12:45:33 PM

Often one can be very funny by just telling the truth. George Carlin.


Carlin has a CD out that contains and interview of himself and he goes into how comedy is actually all about exaggeration, so in fact its not the direct telling of the truth that brings comedy, you have to skew it a little bit ;)
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/4/2010 12:37:07 PM
Basically, the idea of having a man as a "protector and provider" has been usurped by the state that provides and protects women and children. Rather than allowing males to "do their jobs" the state has it figured that those few that weren't doing it to the womens satisfaction merited making changes in laws and social help.


Of all the points made highlighting social changes as the reason that this change seems to be occurring, this might be the most interesting one, simply because it would actually explain why we see this on such a grand scale, why its having an effect on women from all walks of life.

So far it seems that yes there probably is more at work here then just birth control. It may be the hormonal changes, coupled with social changes in regards to the positions that men and women play in each others lives, to evolution itself not being hay-wired,but actually playing into this.

So how about a revised theory eh?

So it starts with the past, over the last few hundred years (or more) women have come into their own, they are no longer the weaker passive sex, they simply are people, so women have become stronger. At the same time, we are seeing constant news stories of abuse towards women by men, that flood the psyche of the general population. Even though these cases are the exception, not the rule, due to the spread of information its become a well known fact; when women are being beaten, its usually by men, usually more testosterone laden "manly" men.

So now we have empowered women, who have heard stories of men coming home and beating their wife half to death, or in some cases to death. These now equal women exercise their right to sexual and social freedom by beginning to take birth control. The birth control causes hormonal changes in the body that coupled with the already existent subconscious idea that gruffer, more rugged, and manlier men are not only these former oppressors, but are a possibly physical threat.

So what you end up with is this constantly compounding idea that is being reinforced from various sources that a more passive, more effeminate man, more similar to the woman herself in all ways, is now the better choice for a mate.



Oh and as far as there being no scientific backing for my initial claim:


Taken from -
http://www.womens-health.co.uk/risks.html

here are four main types of hormonal birth control methods available. The most popular of these birth control options is the oral contraceptive or "The Pill." Others include the birth control shot, birth control patch, birth control implants and the contraceptive ring.

All hormonal birth control methods have one main objective: to prevent a mature egg from developing in the female reproductive system. This is achieved by inhibiting the two key hormones that trigger ovulation: the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and the luteinising hormone (LH).

Both FSH and LH are triggered by decreased levels in oestrogen and progesterone hormones that are normally produced in the ovaries, and are decreased in preparation for ovulation. Hormonal birth control methods work by administering regular supplies of oestrogen and progesterone (or progestin) and maintaining constant hormonal levels in order to prevent ovulation from taking place.


Now the followup to that taken from -
http://www.expectantmothersguide.com/library/connecticut/ECThormones.htm

Progesterone is one of the major hormones of pregnancy and is primarily produced by the placenta. Levels of progesterone in the body rise as pregnancy progresses. Progesterone functions to inhibit the smooth muscle in the uterus from contracting and decreases prostaglandin formation, both of which allow the fetus to grow with the expanding uterus. As progesterone levels increase, other smooth muscle in the body may also be affected, such as that in the lower esophageal sphincter, which results in increased heartburn and acid reflux, especially in the later stages of pregnancy. Progesterone softens cartilage as well and may be responsible for the commonly occurring hip and pubic bone pain that also occurs. This hormone also can cause tenderness in the breasts early on and the bloated feeling many women experience throughout pregnancy.

Estrogens also increase during pregnancy and are also produced primarily by the placenta. Among other functions, estrogens increase uterine blood flow.



For those who dont want to read all that it basically states that when a woman is pregnant her Estrogen and Progesterone levels rise, both are given off by the placenta. Hormonal birth control I.E. "the pill" artificially raises both Estrogen and Progesterone which inhibits other hormones that cause ovulation.

So in short, yes, taking hormonal birth control changes the hormone levels in the body to they way they would naturally be during pregnancy, so it tricks the body into believing its pregnant. Now, the mental affect that comes with this state is why we're here discussing :)
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The Truth. Under What Conditions, Should It Be Expected, If Ever?
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:43:52 PM
Honestly, I think the truth COULD be taken on an eye for an eye basis. But there's a catch 22 to that, you can't prove the truthfulness of most statements. Even if you could prove it, then you didn't need to ask in the first place.

Truth is something given and taken on faith. You tell the truth in the hopes that those who talk to you will do the same.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Everything happens for a reason?
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:36:25 PM
The reason is the embodiment of the human races' feeling of insignificance on a universal scale. We don't know why bad things happen to good people and good things to bad people.


We're taught to be "good" because that's what pays off, but most times it doesn't play out that way, not immediately anyways. So we ask why, but if we answer that logically I.E. it doesn't matter what you do things just happen because they do, then our sense of right and wrong goes out the window.

So we say things happen for a reason, a mystical inexplicable force that is beyond comprehension, it frees us from having to answer the really hard questions while simultaneously reinforcing our systems of morals and ethics.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/3/2010 5:49:47 PM

There may be something to this hypothesis, if you buy the research done by Von Hippel at the University of Liverpool.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/14/2335871.htm?section=world


I've actually read article about the correlation of sweat, pheramones and sexual attraction that said that in blind study, women were made to smell shirts that different men for an entire week.

At the end the women were actually able to discern which one had immunities different then theirs and even which ones were more attractive. (attractiveness being based off of facial and bodily symmetry)
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/3/2010 5:45:08 PM

I would hypothesize that you would find a gradual difference in selection with a positive correlation between industrialization and selection based on intellect rather than strength.


You're making an assumption that these younger effeminate men are smarter, which is a very poor assumption. For the most part they're average, from my experience, in their age group if not on the downward side of "smart"

Again, using myself as an example, I'd like to consider myself fairly intelligent, and ontop of that I have a 2 year degree and am a trained chef, so by your assumption I should be being drooled over by most women, but I'm not.

I wont entirely discredit you though, because I Think among OLDER men you see this. Men that are older then the age bracket I'm talking about, so mid 20's to early 30's, the intellectual tends to be more effeminate and sensitive. The stereotype is usually glasses, sweater, college education, and a soft personality. Again this is a generalization.


As far as the argument of birth control having a subconcious effect, I'd buy that. It does make sense, and from other things I've read science is slowly finding out the subconcious is far more "conscious" then we think, it almost acts as a secondary personality that influences our choices.



I'll also extend my intial point and use this site as an example.


Now, I've seen this on MANY profiles on this site. All types of women, all races, all walks of life, all ages (between 18-30 per my search criteria).

It's usually a line, with some attention drawn too it (bolded, asterisks, dashes, ect) and usually goes something like this:

"I dont want to see pictures of you with your shirt off, I dont care how nice your six pack and muscles are"

Now, as a guy of average shape, not round, but not ripped, seeing something like that is a welcome change, because I'm not a gym rat, I'm not sloppy, but I'm not cut and my normal thinking is that those are the guys that do well with women because they have the physical looks.

So after the "alright I got a shot!" feeling wears off, then it starts to sit a little on me. That doesnt make sense, its counter-intuitive from what I know. So why? These guys with the muscles are basically presenting as much masculinity as you can without being in the same room with them, yet these women are actively turning them down without even talking to them.


It's an attitude that supports the idea that this change in what women find desirable is something that transcends culture, race, upbringing, ect. One common trend that I've noticed is that most of the profiles I see this on are those of independent professional women, women who are usually depicted as a very average birth control consumer.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Using shipping containers for housing in quake zones?
Posted: 2/2/2010 3:00:37 PM
Why even go with metal though, it does seem costly. With all the money saving innovations science has given us there must be a plastic or some other manufactured material that can do the job just as well and cheaper. Giant Legos anyone?
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:43:09 PM
Would you care to elaborate on why? I posted the information that brought me to my conclusion, why dont you share.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Using shipping containers for housing in quake zones?
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:18:42 PM
I think A1 hit it on the head. Why send shipping containers? It has to be easier, and probalby cheaper, to come up with purposely built modular pre-fab "huts"


And on the topic of making affordable housing that's resistant to the elements, if you REALLY wanted to, just make modular monolithic apartments, its how they build prisons now. One big mold, rebar, and one single pour of concrete, heavier then hell so it laughs off a hurricane, low to the ground, and if you built them in small clusters I'd imagine they'd stand up to an earthquake well, no seems to break at.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:08:24 PM
Actually its something I've observed where I live now and where I lived a few months ago in the Midwest, half the country away.

And hippies arent the same thing. Hippie guys had long hair.. and thats about it. They were still men.

Another thing to be noted is that hippies hooked up with hippies, and yes I am young, but I think I'm pretty accurate when I say a hippie and a yuppie werent hooking up on a regular basis. This is going beyond social circles. Ive seen preppy Abercrombie clad girls with metro fem guys, and I've seen all black goth girls with metro fem guys, who wore all black.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:02:23 PM

Right, so if the body is tricked into thinking its pregnant, you would think if the correllation were to hold true that human females wouldn't have sex WHILE their body thought they were pregnant, thats IF you could compare the breeding of lower animals to the sexuality of humans, you can't. That was actually my point lol.

Attraction isn't conscious, and that is why i believe birth control has nothing to do with it, if it isn't the hormones (for reasons above) it's far more likely it's a social swing.



You're taking it to far. Pregnancy, i.e. living thing inside you, and having the same hormones produce as if you were pregnant arent the same thing, by a long shot.

It's because attraction is subconscious this works. The affect occurring isn't like taking a hit of acid and watching the world melt, its far less invasive.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:57:54 PM
That actually makes perfect sense too, but 10 years ago a low sperm count effeminate man would've been left out in the cold, relationship wise, due to this, now they're doing quite well in the dating field.

And metrosexuality is what it is, for the most part, but that's still a deviation from the norm. It's a new thing, and it goes hand in hand with the article. There's been a lot of trends in fashion and appearance, and a most dont stick, so why this one? Because it worked. Girls taste in men is altered by birth control, so men, being crafty like we are, alter ourselves.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:54:43 PM
Dont confuse the wording. This isnt about WOMEN. Woman is a term given specifically to a more mature, and usually older female. This doesnt apply to them because the availability of birth control wasnt there when they were young. I'm looking specifically at the youth. This would be my age bracket, 18-25 (give or take)

And actually pregnant animals do get it on, just not while pregnant. The hormonal affects are there, but there's still the lack of the physical affect, and plus human nature does supersede the lower instincts by ALOT. But attraction, on the most basic level, isnt a conscious thing. You know you're attracted to someone you rarely know why it is you like what you like about them.
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:51:22 PM
I'd also like to make an observation.

When I first took in all the information noted above I didnt really give it much thought. It made sense, but I just kinda shrugged it off, moved to the next article. Later it hit me though.

Ive noticed all these guys in the skinny jeans, with more time in their hair then the girl their with, and dressed impeccably. Now normally I get kinda pissy when I see this because before this insight I didnt understand it.

Now I think about myself, having my adult life start and the last decade, and my overall bad luck when it comes to dating and meeting women. Now I DO realize most of my issues come from being a bit of a nerd and socially awkward, I'm not trying to shaft my problems onto something else, but I have put some pieces together in and interesting way.

Besides not being the most social of butterflies, I've also had problems with general attraction, and I wouldnt go as far as to call myself a "manly man" I am pretty in line with the manly way. I'm big, not round, I'm 6'3", wide shoulders, broad chest, I wear a beard, I do have chest hair (not a wookie though) and my personality is very very male, in most respects. I dont fart in public or spit, but I'm not usually "sensitive" in a general way.

So that being said, back to my lady issues. So now I've looked at the girls I have had luck with, the ones that I've dated or just admittedly hooked up with. There was one common thing about all of them. None of them were on birth control, for whatever reasons. Most hadnt been on birth control ever.

Now making the connection, I also noted something else. They all liked me, really liked me. For a socially awkward and admited fat kid in highschool, to have a girl literally lust for you was weird, it was something I never knew, and I didn't question because it was a nice change. I always wondered though, and the article I read makes sense in retrospect.

So I guess what I'd like to know is if any other guys have experienced this?
 viking_chef
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Birth Control and the Death of the Manly Man
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:43:02 PM
So I decided to bring this here after reading an interesting article a few days ago.

Now, we've all seen the trend in young people today (yes I know I'm not THAT old) where in males have started to drift away from what was normally expected of a man in appearance, attitude, and action. Most specifically the trend of young men becoming more "effeminate"

We see this today in guys with incredibly manacured looks in regards to hair, appearance and dress. Guys with more sensitive and emotional personalities. And more female aligned tastes in movies, music, ect.

Now the kicker to all this is that these arent the "wussies" that they wouldve been not but maybe a decade ago. It used to be the big, tall, built, handsome, studly quarterback type that was the one with the most attention from the opposite sex. Now these effeminate males are the new ladies men.

The article I read said this isn't necessarily about pop culture, that's where it started yes, but why its persisted and thrived is due to Birth Control. Basically the science is explained like this:

Big, tough, manly men were the main choice of most women because biologically that's who nature would them choose. Big, strong, resilient, likely to survive. It becomes in innate desire fueled by the reproductive system. A woman will like the manly man and just simply think its because she does, but it's a passive effect of natural selection.

Now, in most lower animals, life time mates arent chosen. Two meet, they mate, they reproduce, alpha male goes off to rinse and repeat, female raises the young. After reproduction it is no longer the big alpha male that's desired, its a more caring, sensitive, and in humans, emotional partner that is wanted.

This is where Birth Control comes in. Birth control is basically a controlled monkey wrench in the woman's hormonal system that puts the body in a state where it thinks its pregnant. This prevents pregnancy from actually occuring, but along with this comes the changes on everything else. Guys usually fancy a woman on birth control because on of the side effects is larger breasts, its on that same swing. The body being in a constant state of pseudo-pregnancy effects everything, including what is and isnt attractive.

Now how this plays into the change in whats desirable in a man in recent years. Birth control has become more readily available, girls are going on it as early as 16 and maybe even younger. Being on birth control basically their entire adult lives is changing their perception in what they want in men.


So now that you've read this god-awfully long post, any thoughts?
 chefknife
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Using shipping containers for housing in quake zones?
Posted: 2/1/2010 4:32:44 PM
Using a shipping container as temporary housing? Absolutely. Four walls and a ceiling is something when you have absolutely nothing. Would it be a good permanent fix? Probably not, besides being the island of eyesores they aren't meant for that, and that fact will undoubtedly come back to bite you in the long term.
 chefknife
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
What do you think it might be like to know all things at all times?
Posted: 2/1/2010 4:30:31 PM
Well if you listen to the science guys about String Theory and quantum physics on the smallest level, simply my observing matter you change its properties, which requires more observation, ect ect ect, so ostensibly if you knew everything about everything it would be an ever changing swell of looping information. You'd basically be a all knowing LP skipping, for eternity.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What did he really mean when he asked me this
Posted: 1/21/2010 7:29:54 PM
Well if Im reading this correctly, that last saturday show would be the last time you saw him, as you said, he was leaving. Simply remove the prior relationship and just consider him as a friend and it becomes kinda obvious.

This would be the last time you would see each other, and he was a decent guy it sound like, so for you to be at this last show, it being the last time he would have the chance to see you, he wanted you to be there.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Dating help specifically for the site
Posted: 1/21/2010 7:18:12 PM
So Ive thumbed through the forums, and maybe Im missing it, but Ive noticed there is no clean cut obvious place for people who are looking for advice/help specifically related to using POF.com as a dating tool.

Sure there's "Dating Advice" which is a general topic forum, which seems to be mostly people's anecdotes about past dates. There's "Ask a Girl/Guy" which seems to provide good general info for the specific sexes. I could keep going on but you know the categories.

What I'd like to see is a section that is clearly, and more importantly, only, for advice and sharing in regards to this site specifically. Reading posts about how people started a conversation at a bar or a singles party doesnt prove to help me or anyone else who are looking to use this site for what its for, meeting new people.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Workout Routines for Real People
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:45:41 AM
Please allow me to ask very dumb questions because my knowledge of work out terms goes about as far as dumbells are heavy.

Deadlifts would be, dumbbells on the floor, bend down, pick em up, lift em to chest height?
And then what would be the stiff legged variation?

And as far as the benchpress goes, I dont have a bench to do that lol, I do have the chest press/fly machine though, I dont know how comparable that is.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Workout Routines for Real People
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:14:50 AM
Hmm, i'll have to toy around with whats doable and what Im comfortable with. I gotta watch out for certain things because Ive got a trick knee that'll try to go all wopperjawed if I do something wrong, but I'll definitely try to work some new stuff in, even if just to mix it up.

Ive only been back in the gym fulltime for about 2 weeks now and im already seeing a little bit of improvement so anything to better what Im doing will be good stuff for me. Thanks again for the input.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Workout Routines for Real People
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:03:07 AM
Squat and dead lift no. Same with chin ups and dips really. There's a pull down machine, but that's it. There are both, but with like no variety. Barbells have a total of I think 40 pounds, plus the bars, one long one, one short one. And the dumbbells go from 5lbs, 10lbs, to 45lbs lol.

Aerobic stuff aster weights is something I would've never thought of but that makes sense. I guess I thought the aerobics would be somewhat of a warmup.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Workout Routines for Real People
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:46:41 AM
I do a 30 min cardio session, thats 5 minutes of somewhat lite and easy, enough to get my heart moving, and then 5 minutes of higher resistance work. Rinse. Repeat.

I then do 3 sets of the following routine

Chest press
Tricep extensions
Weighted Row (probably gotthe name of that one wrong)
Shoulder Shrugs
Bicep Curls
Leg Extensions

Im a bit limited by the equipment available, so im trying to make the best of what I do have.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Workout Routines for Real People
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:24:53 AM
Changed my routine a bit, focused more on heart rate and not resistance on my cardio and nwo included back and legs into the mix. I also got a good pattern going with very little downtime between sets. I didnt really add much but those few changes completely kicked my ass, much more intense and hopefully better work out.

Thanks for all the input guys!

Cheers
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Workout Routines for Real People
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:16:28 AM
I started this thread for people to share and talk about workout routines they've done, and whats worked for them, and what hasnt worked for them. I DID NOT start this to be the arena for some internet pissing match about who's in the best shape or who has the best routine.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What can I do better?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:24:34 PM
Like many I've succumb to partial frustration due to the lack of anything really resembling an attempt at a budding relationship. I keep telling myself its just not the right connection, not the right person, but I want to know if there's anything I'm doing wrong, or could be doing right to help my situation.

Thanks in advance
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:05:09 PM
Any man who would assume that mindset from watching porn wasnt worth the time in the first place. As a man I approach sex as my job to make my woman feel good.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Are guys intimidated by independence?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:19:58 PM
I dont think so, I actually think its attractive. I think the line in the sand comes when independent becomes not-around. Youve gotta balance it, if he's your man, you've got to be his woman.


edit:

Just to add to what everyone said, a giant "girl power" wall-o-words just tends to make the eyes bleed and will scare most guys away.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Remember, remember, the Fifth of Novemeber...
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:13:25 PM
I didnt realize >< I shouldve watched that today!
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Question for MEN
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:10:23 PM

Do men really look that closely?
Does it matter that I am working on getting fit?
Do men look at the total package or just the wrapping?
Am I over thinking this?


A real man who really does like you wont care. You have 2 headshots on your profile, you're attractive, very much so. He's been there this long, Im sure he wont be leaving, and on the off chance he does, you're lucky because he wasnt that good of a guy to begin with.

If he's a nice guy, when he sees you naked for the first time, before hand, tell him you feel insecure, he'll then re-assure you that you're beautiful, that is, if he's a good guy.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Intuition? Paranoia? Worry?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:00:12 PM
In my humble opinion, intuition is something you dont even think about, you just KNOW that what your feelings is right. Paranoia is usually overly thought about. You dwell on what ever it is, repeating it, over and over, because you have to convince yourself you're right. Worry is paranoia's easing going counterpart, its there, but not in an extreme, and its usually mundane.

Ex.

My intuition tells me to go left

Im not paranoid, youre paranoid, you're the one who is wrong, im right, not you, you're wrong, not me, Im right!

I'm worried I might have forgotten to set the alarm

Maybe Im full of it, but Im not worried
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:56:40 PM
Ive worked food service all my life, and there, more so then any other profession, imo, is where people vent at strangers. If someone is having a bad day, woe unto the drive thru window cashier who has to deal with them. People who would otherwise be nice, respectful, and tolerant, just go nuclear on fast food and even casual dining staff.

This is why I stay in the kitchen away from the crazies
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Retire from looking for love on POF and now on the Forum
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:47:58 PM
I agree with many of the posters. Im not giving up, Im just here because what else would I be doing? The best part about fishing is the anticipation. Will this next tug on the line be the big one


Also keep in mind, this site has a fairly low population in grand respect to the world. As I post this there's only 134758. There's more people playing World of Warcraft right now then there are fishing

The best you can do is cast out a few lines, lay back in a comfortable position and wait. Enjoy a beer or beverage of choice, and just make sure you respond quick!

Rome was built in a day, and fishing is the patient man's (and woman's) sport.


Cheers
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 307 (view)
 
Sexiest occupation (job profession)
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:13:38 AM
Im a chef and since I adorned my whites Ive been a little pissy because what do all women say, they love a man who can cook, and they love a man in uniform. Im both! Girls just dont seem to have the love for the culinarians yet.

As for sexiest for a woman, lingerie model, then she can take her work home with her
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 47 (view)
 
no sex for 15 months
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:11:10 AM
I went 21 years heh, but time since the first, im going on over 7 months now and yeah, its a bit difficult (was gonna put hard then realized what I was saying lol).
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:09:45 AM
As a late bloomer and a shy kid I never really had a clue on what I was actually supposed to do when it came to sex. My first time was awkward and admittedly sloppy, but I did watch some porn to get the basic idea and it does help.

You have to take it with a grain of salt though. I think for those of us that arent super suave by nature in bed its a good technical tool for the most basic concepts such as where you should be and where she should be to maximize the experience for you both.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
The dumbing down of society and its impact on children and public mindset towards intelligence
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:47:34 AM

Why don't we think that celebrities are brilliant at what they do. That is entertain. As a concequence doesn't it take massive amounts of emotional intelligence to do something like entertain? I imagine it would because to mimic the different attributes and characteristic of a foreign persona would take massive amounts of effort. Can a normal person do what Tom Hanks does?




There are differnet types of intelligence. Ive known people that struggle with basic math, cant spell that well, but when it comes to fixing a car no matter whats wrong they can find and solve that problem. Ive met MDs that are not good speakers.


Different types of intelligence are specialized and must be learned. Look at athletes. There is so much pressure on them to go to college and take real classes because being a genius on the court or on the field is one thing, but it doesnt mean that once you return to the real world that you'll be any better then the rest of us.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 104 (view)
 
How long for cunnilingus?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:39:54 AM
Holy monkey balls 30 to 45 min realllly? ... Ummm, even if that was something I enjoyed I thnk I would feel way way too guilty to ever let someone spend that much time doing that.

Hummm. Maybe its just me. LOL but really? LOL



You dont feel guilty you just make it up to him later
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Workout Routines for Real People
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:37:36 AM
Thanks for all the input, this sis why I wanted to start this thread becuase I personally have no clue to the finer science behind working out. All the comments have been noted and I'll make the neccesary changes next time Im working out.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Germantown Hangout
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:59:09 PM
I just recently moved to the Germantown area and have been feverishly spending my free time looking for a job or floating around here, and I need to do something entertaining. This is open to guys and girls, all walks of life, Im just lookin to literally meet some friends. I got nothing but time this weekend, would like to do something, anything lol.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Workout Routines for Real People
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:56:10 PM
Im sure Im not the only one looking for good advice on how to lose a few more pounds and get into better shape then I am now, but if you google anything close to these topics you just get blasted with spam to buy some miracle product. So... I figured why not start a collective of information here from real people, for real people.


Currently Im hitting the Gym every other day, I do 30 minutes of cardio on an elliptical, going with enough resistance and speed to max out my heart rate, within the lines of safety.

I then do bicep curls, chest presses, tricep extensions, and shoulder shrugs, each with enough weight that I couldnt do more then 10 reps, and I keep doing sets till I cant go anymore.

Questions , comments, or personal workout plans are welcome
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Natural vs Man Made
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:50:22 PM
Thatch the biggest joke in environmental zeitgeist. Nature dictates what we do, our existence is in fact natural. If we nuke the planet we are simply the hand of nature wiping the planet clean.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
The dumbing down of society and its impact on children and public mindset towards intelligence
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:43:29 PM
I hate the idea that "public schools are dumbed down" No they aren't, god forbid schools teach to REALISTIC means. In all honesty you dont need algebra, you don't need chemistry, you don't need a lot of the higher learning classes in playschools, and personally I think they're probably detrimental in the long run.

High school is to prepare kids for real life, for their first job making sandwiches or washing cars, not to step into the shoes of a rocket scientist at 19. The teens are a very hard time for just about every human being. When schools are packed with these ridiculous specialty classes its just more pressure on these kids to try to sponge more information when the biggest issue on their mind is "why am I who I am"

I took a lot of advanced math classes in high school, but its because I liked math. I enjoyed solving these numerical puzzles. I dont think removing the programs from school is right, but for god sake do not dumb down a great thing. EVERYONE, Im gonna say that again, EVERYONE in this country can go to school. Everyone can get the basic education needed to live life. Thats not the case in many other countries.

Celebrities arent stupid because public schools are bad. Celebrities are stupid, because they're stupid. If you choke the life out of the will to learn in kids by stuffing them full of ridiculous highschool classes they probably wont every use its only going to serve to make them not want to continue their education.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 102 (view)
 
How long for cunnilingus?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:28:08 PM
I usually go for a minimum of one orgasm, if I an go for two or three, then Im down. As for her not getting there, hasnt happened yet

I suppose some numbers will help though, usually about 20-25 min. Longer if she's really into it, less if she's not and Ive gotten my one "O" quota
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 106 (view)
 
Introduce Yourself Here.
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:19:51 PM


Joining the long list. I am the Irish Viking

Hoping to eventually find a nice girl to hang out with around the Germantown area
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
How do girls feel when the guy can't finish?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:07:19 PM
I actually tend to have the exact same problem, and its caused issues in the past as well. Dont fake it has been my experience, as many have said, just be super upfront, and put a positive spin on it.

Let her know t hat you have some issue, that its not going to be her, its something with you, but tell her she's ready for a good ride because you're not quitting any time soon
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
I COULD USE YOUR HELP - '0 TO 60 ... THEN NOTHING'
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:44:44 PM
Ive been noticing the same problem. Whats strange is that the last correspondance will seem very fruitful and engaging and then you just stop seeing messages all together, even though you can see they have read what you sent.

I think the biggest issue might be that this is infact a big battle, or sorts. I send out many icebreakers to many women, because most will get deleted and ignored, or just ignored, and Im sure this goes on with everyone, especially for women, especially for attractive women.

These things dont work on a first come first serve basis, rightfully so, but what that means is you might be the handsome man who seemed interesting at first, but quickly and without your knowledge someone who the woman finds more attractive and more interesting is swooping in and without knowing it ending your game before it really had a chance to start.

I think the other reply (forgot the name sorry ><) was onto something, if you see that you're getting somewhere and you're interested in the person enough to see this going to an actual dating situation, you need to personalize this new relationship, make yourself more then just a profile and a picture. Trade something of some social value, email adderss, IM names, phone numbers, something that makes you of more interest.
 irish-viking
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 24 (view)
 
How can you meet girls if you don't get out?
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:25:49 PM
I think its funny anyone would come out with such negative responses like that when we're on an internet dating site. The entire idea of the host of these forums is that you can take an at-home approach to the socializing process.

I can sympathize with eternaldream. I was a massive nerd in highschool, picked on, put down, and even though Ive grown out of that I have self-esteem issues, so going to a club and just talking to a woman, a MASSIVE mental block goes up because of this, regular socializing is hard for me

As for the initial questing, this is what Ive learend in my few years coming out of my shell.

1. Use your friends, tell them your problem. Just one really good friend who is the opposite of you, very extroverted and out there, can be a massive help. Most introverts dont have trouble chatting up someone, its the initial icebreaker thats hard. A buddy can do that for you.

2. 6 packs are overrated. Yes this is somewhat of a cop-out, no I dont care, its genetic. Some people were born thin, some muscular, some with a little extra. Girls you can relate, how many girls out there with A-cups know a friend who is similar in almost all ways but has a C-cup? If you carry yourself well, you dont need to be a musclehead to be attractive.

3. Go somewhere where you can risk it all. Drive a few miles out from home so that if you go to a bar/club and put it all on the line, she flips throws a drink in your face and you have to run out (yes very overly dramatic and unrealistic) you never have to go back. Once you know that its easier to put yourself out there because you wont have anything to lose.

Hope this helped
 
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