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 Author Thread: You get a Meet Me then no reply to your message...
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 25 (view)
You get a Meet Me then no reply to your message...
Posted: 1/1/2019 8:57:17 AM
One reason some people might go to Meet Me and vote yes or maybe on photos of people they might not be interested:

When you go to "My Matches", the following words appear at the top:

You have given us feedback on 0 people via Meet Me. We need you to review at least 50 people before we can give you great matches. Review them now!

Two links to Meet Me occur within the above text.

Some users might go through 50 images on Meet Me because of the site's claims of giving great matches.

Having not done Meet Me, I wouldn't know how the suggested matches change after doing 50 meet me votes.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 4 (view)
Philospohy about responding to a Viewed Me.
Posted: 12/25/2018 8:22:39 AM

Reasons it makes more sense for a man to message a woman who has recently viewed him:
1) There's a chance she chose to view his profile because she liked his main photo.
2) Odds are someone who recently viewed you was actively on the site (as opposed to people who the site says are online but aren't because of the phone app).
3) Women tend not to make first contact, so it's possible she could be interested but would like him to make the first move.

Of course there are many reasons someone who viewed you first won't respond if you message them. One reason is they found something in your profile they view as incompatible. A secondary photo might reveal something they find unattractive (tattoo, motorcycle, etc). The settings might be a turnoff: offspring, religion, etc. The "about me" might be offensive or boring or show low intelligence.

My favorite thread about "viewed me" was many years ago. Some guy asked if the women who viewed him want him. The former poster with Canadian screen names (e.g. MahoganyRush) posted a funny reply: "Yes, they want you!" Mahogany was later revealed to be a con artist, but he seemed well regarded by the forum community at the time he wrote the funny reply, and many people posted favorably in response to him.

Some views are accidental. Touching a phone screen, the viewer might miss and accidentally view an adjacent profile. Many modern websites have an annoying problem in which screen elements shift vertically as they load, so as you try to click something, the screen shift occurs a fraction of a second later and you hit something you don't want (worst if it's an ad). Haven't noticed the desktop version of POF behaving this way, but it could be the cause of an unintended view. Some "matches" on Tinder and similar swipe sites are accidental as the viewer mindlessly swipes yes on a profile they don't actually like.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 45 (view)
Looking to date thin petite cute sweet women in Kamloops
Posted: 12/21/2018 6:50:08 AM

There used to be a Canadian Forum here. I'm not sure if it still exists. Look to see if there is one and start to chat with people there.

In fact, he posted in the British Columbia forum about a year earlier. Looks like he was looking for the same thing a year ago:

Hi ladies,I'm a recently retired single divorced male living in beautiful Kamloops.I'm looking for a thin,petite,cute,sweet lady to compliment my life
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 44 (view)
Posted: 12/21/2018 6:10:48 AM

Sometimes women change their pics and we think it is a new person we haven't contacted and not the same old person.

An option to hide profiles from searches would be great, not just to avoid messaging someone twice, but to avoid re-reading the same profiles of people we already viewed and determined are not a match. OKC had a good hide feature (they since made you open the profile to have a chance of hiding). POF somewhat hides people you've messaged from New Users; a good idea but it doesn't seem to work 100% of the time. I realize we cannot expect any new functionality on POF since the Match acquisition.

If you use the site via desktop. It tells you that you have messaged the user in the search results. It won't if you change account though.

You're referring to Contact History, right? What I do before messaging someone for the first time:
1) Right click anywhere on the POF page to open a new tab (so I can keep the profile in the existing tab).
2) Go to Contact History.
3) With "I Made First Contact", set both the lower and upper age fields to the age of the person I am considering messaging.
(4) Bisexuals might have to do a 4th step of selecting the gender of the person they consider messaging.

This should bring up all the active profiles you've messaged with that age, so it will show the person you want to message if you already messaged them. If you don't see that person, go to the other tab and send a message.

At least once this strategy showed I had already sent her a message. Had sent the message over 6 months before.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 43 (view)
Posted: 12/21/2018 4:01:18 AM

I asked from above,

quote]Since I have never been blocked, I do not know how one discovers that they HAVE been blocked...……………..unless...……… sends an initial/1st message, receives no reply so ………….attempts to follow up with a subsequent/2nd message? It is THEN the sender realizes they were blocked by the receiver?

Inner Circle replied:

The only way to know you were blocked is that you sent another email after not getting a response

Thank you Inner Circle for the info. Makes perfect sense. Can anyone dispute this?

I can easily dispute the above. Inner Circle is wrong.

Anyone who goes to their inbox within 30 days of the most recent message in a conversation can notice the disappearance caused by a block.

Last week I knew a psycho blocked me. She DID respond to me in the past, and I did NOT send her another message as a reason for the blocking. The reason I went to my inbox is my spam folder from real email said I had a new message. Instead of one additional line in the inbox, there was one fewer! Apparently the new message had been from a spammer who had already been deleted.

The other missing conversation: I had messaged her, she replied, we exchanged about 5 more messages and I suggested we go to texting and she agreed. Few things are stupider than blocking someone on POF after the conversation moved away from POF, but that's what she did several days later. Our texts were positive midday the first day, then she said she wasn't feeling well and was going to take a nap and would text me when she woke up. Because I shut down my phone rather early, I sent her a text about an hour before shutting down, saying hope she feels better and that I shut down my phone by 9. Her reply was extremely rude: "Go ahead and shut down your phone now. I really don't care". Of course I was done with her as soon as she wrote that garbage.

Overnight the psycho sent a text "Good night lover". Clearly I should have been the one to block her on POF, but I tend to let conversations auto-delete after 30 days. When I logged onto POF the next morning, she had sent me a new message "Good morning". I replied on POF saying that things were done because of her text last night about not caring. Her reply was a non sequitur and I didn't write anything to her on POF or text. Several days later I got the notification about the new message from the new user, logged on, and noticed that the conversation with the psycho was gone. Later that morning, psycho sent me a text saying "Good morning". This proves it's not true the blocker doesn't want communication. I texted back, saying I knew she blocked me on POF. Her reply was "yup". Then she sent another unsolicited text "You never loved me". I replied that she's right, I never loved her, and for her to go away. She sent a couple more abusive texts and finally disappeared, at least for now.

Often the blockER is the inappropriate person, not the blockEE. She blocks because she's mentally unstable, falling in love with a screen, then getting angry when her delusion about him is shattered. She might rationalize that if she hadn't blocked him, he would have tried to contact her again. If she didn't block him, she would know he never tried to contact her again.

Has happened before. Three years ago a wacko bible thumper messaged me first on POF (didn't realize she was wacko or overly religious at first). After several rounds of POF messages, I suggested we take things to texting. We then spoke on the phone and arranged a first meet date for the next day. When I woke up the next morning and turned on the phone, she had sent a text overnight saying she saw my profile had an interest "Freedom from religion" and that she needed to be with a believer. Next time I went to my inbox, I noticed that our conversation was gone. Obviously the Jesus freak had done the block in a fit of rage after losing her delusion that I was Christian (stupid beeyotch should have viewed my profile BEFORE messaging me, instead of viewing one image and none of the settings, interests, about me, etc). At least she actually communicated _why_ she didn't want to continue, a rarity.

You can also find out if someone who didn't respond blocked you without trying to send them an additional message. If they're not in sent messages (and you didn't delete the sent message) but still in contact history, you might have gotten blocked. Not that it's likely someone would check unless they thought the site was buggy and the message didn't go through. But it shows the claims are dead wrong about the only way you know you're blocked being sending another message after being ignored.

Two of the senders deleted their profiles, created new ones on POF, to send me ANOTHER vile message.

This shows the futility of blocking. Shows POF's method of deleting users who have been blocked a certain number of times is flawed, because an abusive spammer might create a new account after being deleted, and send new messages from the new account to previous victims.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 19 (view)
Being on the Autism Spectrum
Posted: 12/19/2018 5:56:57 PM

And how exactly does one move/live on less than $1000/month minus (substantial) medical costs? Especially to a large city.

I can live on less than $1000 per month despite enormous increases in monthly health insurance premiums every year. And I'm not raking in fat SS "disability" checks or any other handout from taxpayers or from private donors.

If rent is too high where you live, find one or more roommates. Landlords apparently want you to make 4 times your rent, so if you make $1000 per month, the maximum rent would be $250 per month per person. If you find 3 roommates, you could live in a home that rents for $1000 per month. After rent, you have $750 per month left over for health care and food.

Cut your expenses. Your profile says you drink often. Quit drinking alcohol. Don't go to restaurants. Buy big containers of oatmeal, potatoes, rice, etc. Each of those 3 items has simple enough cooking instructions.

Many Mexicans make way less than minimum wage, yet not only can they afford to live in the USA, but they send back a high percentage of what they earn to their families back in Mexico. They're proof there's no need to raise the minimum wage.

Labeling people "ableist" will discourage people from helping. I see nobody has replied on your profile thread, perhaps because they think you might lash out at them and call them ableist. That word gets thrown around along with "sexist", "misogynist", "homophobic", "racist", "anti-Semitic", so those words have little meaning after all the wolf-crying.

There are multiple reasons I require a neurotypical partner.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 6 (view)
How do you meet someone nice and genuine?
Posted: 12/15/2018 6:42:35 AM
Your profile in its current state will repel just about all nice guys.

Your text is full of the same things in a zillion other women's profiles, all screaming that you're looking for a hookup and that you're easy. "I'm not here for sex" is code for "I'm here for sex". Separated women are viewed as easy and desperate. Of course you should be honest about being separated and not lie about marital status; decent guys definitely require honesty. Women who claim they're not here for dirty talk are quick to offer naughty photos and to initiate dirty talk. It's boring to read "I'm not a paid user and can't see Meet Me" for the millionth time.

Previous posters are also correct it's bad to have only one photo. You complain about scammers. Most fake profiles have only one photo, so it's a natural reflex to hit the back button when opening a profile to find only one image. Decent guys are especially likely to prefer a profile with many photos. A pervert with no standards might not mind seeing only one photo.

Difficult to believe women who claim they want a nice guy. Because so few women actually want a nice guy, it seems many are available.

Women who actually want a good guy should seek out "the guy in the corner" instead of the aggressive player who all the other women want. If another woman hasn't already grabbed him, he might have one or more characteristics that shouldn't matter to you if you want nice and genuine: he might not be tall, he might not be rich, he might not have the superficial bone structure and symmetry that the media tell women they should pursue. I'm not saying man who is tall, rich, or good looking cannot be nice, but odds are he is probably already in a relationship.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 37 (view)
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/14/2018 5:36:32 PM

Contact the woman you prefer and ignore the women that contact you that you are not interested in. Keep it simple. You don't have to answer mail from a woman that you do not find attractive. Most people understand that no response means no interest.

Penny is correct.

I'll add it's bad to express your requirement they not be too fat. The reason: many women who you consider acceptable might consider themselves fat and that you wouldn't want them. Especially in your case where size 12 is OK for you. On the other hand, some who you would consider too fat would consider themselves acceptable (all their lives, many unattractive women are constantly told they're terrific).

Searching on body type isn't perfect because many overweight people put average or athletic (I know many obese women put average, and have heard that many men with big beer bellies claim athletic).

Another hurdle will be the ones whose profile photos make them look like they might be in your desired size range, but in reality they're too big. Photos might be from 5 years ago when she weighed 30 pounds less, or might just show her face without the big gut. She might wear clothes that hide the extra weight.

Best not to reply to someone in whom you're not interested. But if she seems like a nice girl and she sent a thoughtful message, you could send a polite dead-end reply. If she gave you a compliment, just say "thank you". If she asked you a question, you could answer without doing anything to continue the conversation. Apply the golden rule: if the roles were reversed, would you prefer to get such a reply, or would seeing "you have a new message from ..." get your hopes up and you'd be annoyed to find out the reply was a polite rejection?
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 145 (view)
If looks do matter.
Posted: 12/14/2018 5:13:43 PM

As far as the pleasure human sex provides, I feel it is a necessary by - product to insure humans continual & repeatable renewal.

Yes, I roll my eyes any time someone claims enjoyable sex is a "gift from God".

It makes sense that it's from natural selection. When mutations occurred in animals (including humans) resulting in nerve endings producing pleasure, the creatures with those mutations were more likely to do it and pass on their mutated genes to future generations. When both genders enjoyed themselves, the female stayed in place longer, making it more likely conception would occur, as opposed to the female not enjoying it and trying to get away from the male. If the male didn't enjoy it, he would be less likely to pursue a female in the first place.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 144 (view)
If looks do matter.
Posted: 12/14/2018 4:56:16 PM

I don't reply to messages from men whose profiles say that they have only had short relationships. That's a red flag/deal breaker for me.

Any player can put 10 years for the longest relationship field, "long term" and "relationship" for intent, then discard a girl after they do it the first time.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
Why am I not getting replies
Posted: 12/9/2018 8:04:18 AM

I have sent a few dozen messages, however I have not received that many replies. I have also noted that quite a few women have viewed my profile, but not actually responded.
Can people please advise me what may be wrong with my profile/how I could improve it?

You already have a profile review thread. Easy to find because your forum history has few posts. If you make significant changes to your profile, you could bump your existing profile thread. Many people mess up by requesting profile help in the "Ask A" section.

Your thread title is lame, so this thread probably won't get many views.

Also, when I send messages, I always try to ask at least one question, either relating to something on the person's profile or something open such as 'what is your favourite film/band' ? Is this a good approach to take?

In my opinion, not an ideal approach. Years ago, some forumites suggested a lame formula of making a first message of three sentences related to the recipient's profile (typically common interests), ending with an open-ended question about that interest. The formula looked like an impersonal cut-and-paste. If her interests list included XYZ: "I see you like XYZ. I like XYZ too. When was the last time you did XYZ?"

Such messages are bad. A high percentage of people probably go with that type of message, so she's probably received many nearly identical messages. The sender doesn't stand out and it's annoying to see the same thing over and over. It's also sterile and unromantic, probably not humorous.

The only benefit of asking when was the last time she did an interest is to weed out phonies who claim they do things when they actually don't. Many female profiles claim they do "guy stuff": hiking, fishing, canoeing, watching sports, etc, when in reality she last did that over 3 years ago with family members.

Asking about favorite bands, movies, etc, is lame. Many people might view answering as a chore. Less likely to answer if it's not fun to do so.

Many gals have posted that her man "had her at hello". If she likes your photo, something as lame as "Hi" will get a response. Any message will work as long as you don't say something wrong. If she doesn't like your photo, there won't be a response no matter how great your message is.

I don't put much time or energy into message content. Typically one or two short sentences about a photo or something in the profile. About half the time there's a short question, but it's not a lame formulaic obvious question. Last time I got a response, her profile had said she didn't want to date a civil engineer. My message was "What's wrong with civil engineers?" (Her reply was that many scam profiles claim that profession). Her photos didn't contain anything to think up a decent first message.

If I can think of a short funny message, there is often a response of at least "LOL".

"not that many replies" is better than zero. Specific to your age, the cute young gals probably get huge numbers of messages. As I said in your profile thread, better for you to meet girls in real life.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 18 (view)
What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 12/7/2018 3:46:13 AM

Guy posing in front of a high end car or truck = I have a good job and am stable in my life

High end car or truck: he's trying to compensate for his inadequacy at having a small you-know-what. (Female with big engine = trying to compensate for Freudian inadequacy and using the engine as a dildo). As to their job and stability, they might owe big bucks on a vehicle loan, upside down on the vehicle, with most of the paychecks going to car payments and mortgage (also bought more house than was practical).

Intent (casual, relationship, etc) doesn't sway me because a high percentage of people don't live up to that setting anyway. Women who claim they want FWB / NSA are notorious for wanting a committed relationship, and people who claim they want LTR often seem to be evasive of commitment. Bumble recently added a field for intent. Almost none of the female profiles I've viewed there so far have selected "relationship".

Here are just some of the things in profiles that make me swipe "no" or hit the back button:

Showing blind support of police and/or military, for example the American police flag in a photo or "I back the blue", "blue lives matter". Wearing anything military or being in a photo with someone in military outfit. Maybe an exception if she's in a photo with her vet father, but most likely he wouldn't flaunt his vet status if he was drafted. Any tribute to 9/11, an image of the twin towers, most American flag images.

Don't like left wing political flaunting either: "me too", "black lives matter", LGBTQ filters, demanding minimum wage of $15 or more, pro-union, "don't contact me if you voted for Trump", etc.

If her profile text says anything about being Christian or Jewish, or mentioning God. Might consider if her profile religion setting is Christian and she doesn't say anything about religion.

If profile text contains the word "passport". Unless context is "I don't have a passport and don't plan to get one".

Any text requiring he have a job, career, be a "professional", or the various other codes demanding he be rich and spend money on her.

Photos with children. If text says "I have no kids, that's my niece", translation is "The niece is my substitute kid until I can get someone to create a kid through me or I can be a stepmom".

Photos with someone of the opposite gender. Looks like they're currently in a relationship. For sites where they pull photos from Facebook, looks like they make terrible decisions to choose photos not good for a dating site.

Any text that rationalizes being rejected / ignored by claiming "intimidated by a strong / smart / independent woman". She's not strong. She's not smart. She's not independent. We're not intimidated. And if she were any of those things, that's not why we're not interested.

Anyone who explains themselves by their zodiac sign or their Myers-Briggs letters. The only use for Zodiac is knowing when their birthday will be. Myers-Briggs is completely useless.

Profanity or anatomical slang.

Snapchat filters.

Memes. Most are whiny: "I'm super but nobody appreciates me" with a wimpy font and lame colors.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 36 (view)
Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/5/2018 4:25:11 AM

One thing that seems to work is to search without logging in. Or if you see a profile from someone in your area while you're in here. That will usually lead to other profiles in your area. I've found a lot I've never seen before when I did that.

When that happens with me, there's usually a reason I hadn't seen the profile before. Often it's because she's a smoker (when online, I have the filter not to show profiles who are honest about being smokers). Sometimes it's because she's out of the age range (some are surprisingly young when I click on the thumbnail: a gal in her late 20s might look like she could be 40. Occasionally they're older and have age settings with a minimum older than me, so they don't show up as matches). Sometimes they're beyond my usual distance (I typically put 50 POF miles which is more like 80 real miles). Could also be a new fake account, but I typically can spot their pic.

Am largely fished out but still check new users (the fakes are so obvious, it's easily to scroll past them. As others have said, a common patter is an underscore between two sets of nonsense letters). Found several to message this week and one responded, leading to taking things away from this site.

Often am aware I've seen a profile before, but it's not unusual to choose a profile and quickly realize I've seen this one before. Distinctive wording, a secondary picture that stands out, etc. Some of the gals with whom I've exchanged messages here years ago are still on here, some with photos they already had here in 2011 or whenever we messaged. Sometimes they have a combination of new and old photos and seem to have aged well.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 244 (view)
when in doubt, pull (it) out.
Posted: 12/3/2018 3:41:46 AM

i wouldn't compare it to breast feeding simply b/c i don't think many moms breastfeed to get their jollies off. you might be comparing apples to....bananas.

Breastfeeding in public is analogous to urinating in public. Both should be done privately in a restroom. In both cases, people typically don't see anything but are aware what's occurring. Both are a biohazard and smell bad.

The best way to handle titnazis is to pretend to enjoy seeing them. They won't ever BF in public again if they think anyone was turned on by seeing their udders.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 8 (view)
Profile Review
Posted: 12/2/2018 10:09:03 AM
Your profile seems fine. Don't get me started about the "longest relationship". Best thing about that field is it weeds out people who judge based on the value. Players who have had nothing but one night stands can put 10+ years to get a girl to bed, then he never calls her again. Comments in profile reviews were actually a lot ruder years ago, when there were regular forumite losers who ganged up on the people who asked for reviews.

Just about every paragraph and some additional sentences begin with "I". Could reword with less of an "I" focus.

People who look young for their age don't need to write that they do. I've seen that claim in so many women's profiles, it's a cliché. The first few sentences in your about me are the most important and they show up in some searches. When I do searches that show opening text and I see wording that's in a zillion other profiles, I'm less likely to view the profile. Could just say you're young at heart, letting your photos show you look young. The opening "Hi" isn't particularly useful.

The photo caption saying the site deleted the picture the first time you tried to upload isn't particularly useful. You could edit that caption, either having no text or say the month and year you took the photo. Especially for people who look young for their age, captions with the month and year could make viewers more confident your photos are indeed recent.

"Crappy TV programs" is a hilarious thing you put for an interest. "Nerdy and geeky stuff" is funny too. Ideally the girls find those amusing.

Good luck!
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
Profile Review For a Young Aussie Please
Posted: 11/30/2018 3:17:35 AM

As my profile is targeted (odd word to use perhaps) at women 25 - 45 I would appreciate responses from within this bracket.

Typo? Your profile is targeted at women 25 to 35. The 45 in your post here seems odd because your title for the thread includes the word "young".

It doesn't take someone in your targeted demographic to point out it's unwise to have genitalia words in your text. Many people won't bother to read long text, but they might notice the words.

Another thing that applies to everyone. It's bad when you're not in a photo. Get rid of the retail shelf photo. Those images are especially annoying when someone views a profile from a phone and sees only one image at a time. Going to the next image and it doesn't have the person in it can easily get the viewer to back out from the profile, not viewing anything more.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 64 (view)
Time wasters
Posted: 11/29/2018 3:33:55 AM

The older you get, the slimmer the pickings.

Ironic wording because people are likely to get fatter as they reach and go through middle age. Slower metabolism, less exercise. Of course this indeed makes the pickings worse for those seeking a partner who isn't overweight.

Sometime after age 60 people do seem to get slimmer as they succumb to wasting conditions.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 25 (view)
What is the latest name-calling Buzz Word you have heard?
Posted: 11/27/2018 4:08:54 AM
"Commitment Phobe". Apparently any man who doesn't want to get as serious as she does, or doesn't want to get serious as quickly as she does.

"Clingy". Apparently any man who wants to get more serious than she does, or sooner than she does.

By their system of namecalling, she fits the other name. If he's a commitment phobe, she's clingy and vice versa.

Of course when women refer to the ex with any of these phrases, people are likely to enable her, telling her how terrible he is and how nothing is wrong with her.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 5 (view)
Song for all the POF Forum members
Posted: 11/26/2018 12:58:41 PM
Just heard this on the radio for the first time in ages. Good advice (though makeup and wine aren't necessary in my opinion).

Wives And Lovers
Burt Bacharach

Hey! Little girl
Comb your hair, fix your makeup
Soon he will open the door
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger
You needn't try anymore
For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I'm warning you
Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don't send him off with your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again
For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
He's almost here
Hey! Little girl
Better wear something pretty
Something you'd wear to go to the city and
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love
Time to get ready
Time to get ready for love
Time to get ready
Time to get ready for love
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
First review and it probably shows.
Posted: 11/24/2018 4:42:21 PM
I don't believe it's a good idea to split your main photo into multiple smaller photos. Thumbnails look small enough with a typical main photo with the person's face taking up a high percentage of the square. Had no idea what was going on from the thumbnail. A girl who thinks pigs are adorable might skip you, not realizing they're in the images.

As an upgraded user, you can have 16 photos, so there doesn't seem to be a need to put multiple photos in one. All indications are upgraded users don't have improved success, so you might want to let it expire.

Some of your photos have unfortunate positioning. A water bottle in a lap is a bad idea because some people might think the bottle is shaped like a … On the multiple image, some have a critter near a person's rear. Not good.

How about a photo with a pig with similar composition to the one with you and the dog. Could make the lower left of the multi its own image.

Maybe search on the "tattooed / pierced" personality type to find girls more likely to accept your piercings.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 5 (view)
Looking to date thin petite cute sweet women in Kamloops
Posted: 11/23/2018 4:10:53 AM

I'm an all around nice guy

Worst possible thing you can say.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 6 (view)
Idiots on POF
Posted: 11/21/2018 3:52:58 AM

why applications I want to download on my phone "want access to all your photos, contacts, everything else"

Android requires an app to ask for permission to do various things, for example to read and write files on the phone's "external storage" (files you can see and add or delete). Some apps I've written have an option to save files on their phone or to load their own custom files from the phone. This makes the app more useful for customers.

Well behaved apps access only what they need.

Most apps are useless and it's better to go on the company's mobile version of their website (if they have one) or the same website looking as it does with a computer. As far as I know, the Facebook app for phones is completely worthless. The only thing it does beyond the mobile website is bombard you with notifications every time something minor happens. They require downloading an additional huge, bloated, invasive app "Messenger" to do more.

Many corporate apps profit from your information, for example fast food apps that give you a "discount" for ordering online through the app. They sell your info, making more money than they lost by giving you 6 tacos for the price of 5. In those cases, the permission does use your info for profit.

Websites probably want your location so they can show what's available at their nearest retail location, and to link you to maps to show how to get to their store from your location. Tinder should know your location so two people know how far apart they currently are. Bumble allows accessing your photos so you can attach a picture that's not on your profile. I doubt either of those two sites is stealing random photos for resale; they probably make their money by selling paid user features such as the ability to see who has already swiped yes on you.

Legal disclaimers in profile text are a waste of space and they increase the chance viewers hit the back button without messaging. People who have such garbage in their profiles are indeed idiots who would probably do other idiotic behavior on dates and in relationships.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 60 (view)
What would you expect from a partner?
Posted: 11/19/2018 4:31:16 AM

A squared plus B squared equals C squared

There are girls who appreciate math? Maybe Pythagoras did well with the babes?

I considered May 12, 2013 a special day (and December 5), but didn't say anything about it to my girlfriend at the time.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 7 (view)
wow I paid so I can get this message
Posted: 11/19/2018 3:13:54 AM
Are you saying Match allows cut-and-paste messages and contacting more than 55 people per day? If so, too bad for the paying users at Match. Paying big bucks to get spammed with obvious cut-and-paste messages.

POF does the right thing by having a mechanism to detect and block spam.

Good advice by the site to create custom messages. Dunno if the chances improve "dramatically", but it could be a dramatic increase in percentage:
cut and paste spam message: 0.1%
custom message: 1%
With those odds, the custom message would be 10 times more likely to get a response

Tinder also has a maximum limit for the number of people you can swipe yes. A good thing so people can't mindlessly swipe yes to everyone (hope Tinder doesn't waive that restriction for their paid users).
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 20 (view)
Some feedback please :)
Posted: 11/19/2018 3:00:54 AM
You forgot to bump your existing thread on profile reviews. You had a history of doing the right thing by bumping before your recent action of starting a new profile thread.

Yes, if you want a healthy biological kid, the mother should be under 35.

Guaranteed not to go bald? What if you get cancer and the chemo takes away your hair?
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 19 (view)
only accepts messages from upgraded users
Posted: 11/18/2018 8:31:03 AM
POF *encourages* people to activate "only accepts messages from upgraded users" as an alternative to hiding their profile!

If you click "Edit Profile" while logged on, you will see the following:

To hide your profile from others click here
Hiding your profile prevents you from showing up anywhere on the site or app in bars of images and search results.
Instead of hiding your profile, Allow messages (first contact) from only upgraded users: Click to Enable

I consider this really stupid. If you've met someone who seems good so you're not looking, and you don't want to lead people on, and don't want to get in the way of people who are actually looking, it makes sense to hide your profile. If you follow POF's suggestion of doing the alternative by setting the upgraded only, you will still show up as a potential match. People will view your profile and possibly try to send a message.

The worst thing about that setting is it does *not* show up among the regular settings for age, distance, etc. Therefore the people who write a message have no idea until they have already composed a first contact message and hit send. Then they get the screen saying the user only accepts messages from upgraded users (and of course there is a big button to purchase an upgraded membership so you can message that person).

If you upgrade and send a message to that person, your message will be unread or ignored because that person isn't looking! They put that setting because they stupidly followed POF's advice instead of hiding their profile. If their attempt at a relationship lasts a month, your message will expire unread.

Just tried to message someone this morning and got the "only accepts from upgraded" nonsense. Thankfully my message was short: 5 words. Didn't think much to compose the message.

Let's say hypothetically that girl was seeing someone and had that setting as an alternative to hiding. Let's say things don't work out and she removes the setting so anyone can message her. I'm not going to try to message her again. First of all, I have no way of knowing she removed the setting because it doesn't show. Second, she made a bad impression by having that setting, so even if I knew, I am unlikely to pursue her.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 42 (view)
What would you expect from a partner?
Posted: 11/16/2018 3:39:29 AM
Purplerider1200 wrote:

Minimalist? Does using curb found appliances that work count? Hauled home in a $400 buck pickup? Riding Motorcycles that qualify for historic plates? Perusing curb finds in Craiglist for something good? Shopping at Harbor Freight when their sales are on? ( And buying discontinued items?) Buying 'Reduced for a quick sale" meat at the grocery store count? Being a frequent shopper at Salvation Army hold any water?

Excellent, Purplerider! Ideal behavior for the economy, the environment, and for society.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 6 (view)
Just posted this in the wrong place
Posted: 11/15/2018 12:35:59 PM
They removed username search from most places on POF, but one still exists.

Type "" in a browser. Instead of logging in, click "Inbox" at the top left. It will create a screen with username search on the left half. Type the user name or the beginning of that name in the edit box, then press the "Username search" button. It brings up all users whose user names begin with what you typed.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
Help please
Posted: 11/15/2018 11:58:29 AM
I already posted a response on your profile review thread, but forgot to answer about messages, then when I tried to edit my post, the site wouldn't accept the changes (typical for over half of attempts to edit posts).

What I said was your photos matter a lot more than the content of your messages. What you write doesn't matter much, just don't write anything wrong. People might post responses that there are many threads about messages. If you visit those threads, be aware many were written years ago when message content was less unimportant. Many were written before POF had a mobile app.

Nowadays message content importance is at an all time low, one reason people get message notifications immediately and respond faster, so short messages aren't bad the way they were when people might take over 24 hours to see a response and write something new.

Complimenting her appearance is usually not good. Can easily be interpreted as hitting on them, something you claim you never do.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 3 (view)
I've given up on trying to be nice in my profile
Posted: 11/15/2018 11:49:29 AM
You should know better than to have a meme as an image. Memes are useless; you can paste the same text into your about me. Exception: if one or more words are banned by the site (some of my Facebook friends post memes with bad words on their timelines). The meme you posted is highly generic, so it's not helping your attempt not to be generic.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 4 (view)
Just posted this in the wrong place
Posted: 11/15/2018 11:38:55 AM

Please message me as I do not have 'meet me'.

One day I will be happy my profile says what I want to say, how I want to say it. But I am not very good at writing about myself, my humour tends to be verbal and spontaneous, and I am still a recent beginner at this online dating lark and just finding my feet.

I love camping, hiking, running, cycling, cooking, growing what I cook on my allotment, reading, music, comedy, gigs and pubs

Delete all the above.

Zillions of profiles say they don't have meet me (meaning they're not an upgraded user). Pointless and wrong. Your recent email gets meet me notices and you can plug in the username to see who voted yes or maybe on you (unless it was a spambot who got deleted).

The next paragraph is awkward and sounds like you're depressed: "one day I will be happy". I wouldn't want to read a girl's profile saying she wants her profile to get better; this is because she sounds like a serial dater who wants more attention in the future.

The list of interests in your about me is a verbatim repeat of your interests. Keep the interests section, but reword your about me in a non-list format.

The age restrictions police will say to remove them. Nobody with a stated profile age younger than 14 years less than you is able to exchange messages with you. About the only thing they might be able to do is send you a gift (paid user feature). Don't get your hopes up about a 25 year old paid user sending you a gift and having a profile that gives a way of contacting her away from this site!

Am not saying the photo in front of the brick wall is bad, but I thought it looks like you're about to be executed. The tie looks like a noose in case the firing squad misses.

Next time you go bicycling, take off the helmet before your buddy takes your photo.

Girls notice colorful shoes, so your blue shoes might be "bait" for them to say something.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 8 (view)
Photos of ladies
Posted: 11/15/2018 11:18:59 AM

Nothing annoys me more than photos of ladies posing with their pets, as a man I’m not interested in their dogs , cats , whatever, im only interested in dating ladies, not animals

By your own reasoning, anyone else in your photos, you are expecting viewers to want to date them. You have photos with your grandchildren, so you're looking for pedophiles to date your kids? Looking for old people with grandkids to date your grandkids?

Anti-pet posts reinforce my confidence I'm doing the right thing by having multiple photos with my dogs. This is because the photos with pets weed out people who don't want to date someone who has pets. Perhaps they're allergic. Perhaps they dislike pets.

The main downside to photos with pets is they might draw friendly attention from nice people who don't want to date.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 188 (view)
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 11/15/2018 3:25:21 AM
Canadians seem to have lower expenses because their healthcare is "free". The biggest cost by far in the USA is healthcare. The so called "affordable healthcare act" made healthcare even more unaffordable. My monthly rate has gone up about 300%. The stated increase for next year and the increase last year are an even higher dollar amount and a higher percentage than the increases in the Obama years. Trump has broken his campaign promises to reverse Obamacare and to bring down rates.

The USA healthcare system also drives down wages because the vast majority of American workers who could afford to retire keep working because of a backward system that gives healthcare to people with jobs, while people who don't have an employer have to pay much more. There is a near infinite supply of jobless or underemployed Americans. All media claims of shortages of American workers are lies to bring in more cheap foreign labor. If the baby boomers would drop out of the workforce, it would free up jobs for younger Americans, and employers would probably pay more.

Most Americans are stupid and ignorant with finances, living paycheck to paycheck, racking up huge debt. If they got paid more, they would spend more and go more into debt. So if your SO gets a "better" job, they will probably still be broke and might have even more of a negative net worth.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 12 (view)
Is art attractive?
Posted: 11/13/2018 3:59:51 PM

I've not really had any questions about my art and a few times when asked what my degree is in had no replies after replying fine art.

I can see why a degree in fine arts can be a turnoff. Years in college, big opportunity cost, possible student loans, low chance of the degree helping in one's career or hiring chances. Art students / grads do have a reputation. I dated a gal with a MFA and she was a flake. A female coworker was taking online MFA courses; apparently she wanted to become a graphic artist. She stayed at the job doing her simple clerical duties. Her existing degree was worthless too (anthropology). At my college, some people used the term "artfag" to refer to students in the school of fine arts. There was an art student on my floor one year; girls seemed to like him, but as a friend. He and I were buddies but he didn't talk about dates / relationships and I didn't ask him nosy details.

Art as a hobby shouldn't be a dealbreaker. You apparently have some practical art skills, for example making furniture. You sound handy, and being handy is a positive.

It's possible to be scientific / technical as well as artistic. My father was a scientist and he spent a lot of his free time woodcarving and other creative artistic projects. I'm a software developer and do my own graphic art for the applications.

Someone who dates an artist should be prepared to receive personal art as a gift. Don't date an airhead who expects mass produced retail gifts, who would be disappointed to receive a one of a kind item you created. Find someone who appreciates your handiwork.

Maybe you can incorporate your art into daring lines to use on girls. You can bring up the idea of her posing nude for you to paint or sculpt? Having her try her hands at the spinning pottery wheel might put her in the mood?
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 13 (view)
What would you expect from a partner?
Posted: 11/13/2018 8:17:56 AM

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a man these days who's IQ is higher than a
pot roast and who's mind isn't closed off by ideas from the 70's?

These days it's difficult finding a woman who passes grade school grammar. For example, they can't comprehend when to use "whose" versus "who's", or "they're" versus "their" versus "there". The people who proclaim themselves smart are the most likely to write what would get an F in school.

As to the OP's ambitious list, unfortunately it's extremely rare to find someone available who has every attribute. A good percentage of the gals I've dated had traditional parents: still married and her mom was stay-at-home.

One would think many women would like to fit that list: looking good without makeup, enjoying sex, etc.

Having kids out of wedlock is considered a positive in some circles. Campaign ads for a female candidate for the US senate described her as a "single mom" when she was younger. It makes sense given most Americans these days don't have fathers, so that point about her might appeal to many Democrat voters (women who had kids without being married, people of either gender who were raised in a fatherless household), but it reinforced my confidence the other candidate was the lesser of the two evils (good news is the other candidate won).

Did the OP forget to say she should be good at cooking and cleaning?
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
Profile review for Sir MusiKyle
Posted: 11/10/2018 7:33:43 AM

doesn't play games. I find what a lot of girls are lacking on here is passion. It is really hard for me to be attracted to someone that doesn't know what they want out of life and isn't passionate about anything and has no goals. If you don't enjoy talking about yourself I'm going to pick up on that immediately and lose interest. If you have a poor attitude I'm not going to want to be around you for long.

This is bad. All negative. Delete. Can't think of more you should say about yourself, but you should definitely be positive when you describe the girl you want to meet.

Your indoor photos have good lighting and clarity compared to a high percentage of indoor photos. Of the two suit photos, I believe the one without a hat is better. The hat one is marred by a caption containing abbreviated profanity, shows a phone in an obvious mirror, and your suit seems to have some white spots: dirt on a full length mirror, dirty white dander? In my opinion the caption on your other suit photo is bad: "sup fam". Sounds like a white suburbanite trying to sound black. Dunno what slang your generation uses, but white people trying to be black are lame in every generation. There are millions of Eminem clones and Kid Rock clones, so that behavior doesn't stand out at all.

For someone as young as you are, real life is especially better than online.

You can reduce the amount of time they waste by asking to talk on the phone. That weeds out some. If they seem worth meeting from what you hear in the phone conversation, ask to meet. That weeds out more time wasters.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
Quick Run Down Of My Profile
Posted: 11/10/2018 6:39:41 AM
Get and post more photos of yourself. Currently you have only one. Being at a bar holding a beer is probably a good thing to show because you say you're working at home away from people a lot, so the bar shows you get out. Additional photos can show more balance. I don't like it when girls have 100% bar/drinking for their photos. Photos trump everything else in a profile. Seems like you have some competition based on the 7 random thumbnails. Often the 7 thumbnails are awful, but your area seems to have people who post decent pics (nohomo).

Replace the photo of just the aquatic plants with you standing by your plants. Your caption for the plant photo is way too long; previewing the photo sends it off the screen on my browser. You can have your paragraph about the plants in your about me text. Captions can be one short sentence or incomplete sentence.

Replace the comma splice with a period or semicolon. Normally wouldn't nitpick, but I'm proud that engineers have superior writing and grammar skills.

Your marital status says single, but your headline and about me suggest you've been married, likely multiple times. Most women seem to prefer divorced men over single ones, so if you're indeed divorced, it makes sense to choose "divorced" for honesty and being more appealing. Eventually your profile should stop saying you just got back. Already over a month back in the game, you could remove it now.

In the past, when people have claimed they like all music, reviewers say not to make such claims. They give examples of music nobody likes: ska, clown posse, etc. Having a short paragraph claiming you like all kinds of music seems unnecessary. You say you often have a music player running. Might want to add you're willing to take a break from your music player when on a date.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 516 (view)
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/5/2018 11:15:57 AM

But as Irish said, people still arguing over who pays the coffee date! Lol those were good days of forums.

Had an argument about "who pays for the coffee" yesterday. A kook from Bumble brought up the idea of meeting, yet she expected me to pay for both of us. Thankfully I was able to weed her out before leaving home.

She suggested Starbucks (yuck! yawn!) This is despite her claims to have been born in South America, home of real coffee, not the overpriced 1000+ calorie milkshakes they sell at $tarbuck$. Told her I don't drink coffee. She said the location didn't matter, that she would go wherever I said. Told her I would let her know when I thought of something better.

Before thinking of something better, I texted her that my method is for whoever gets there first to go ahead and buy their own drink, then the other person arrives, says hello for about a minute, then pays for their own drink.

Recently Starbucks made the news when a female Starbucks worker called 911 on two male customers who were waiting for a client and who hadn't ordered anything (the news tried to make it sound like the white employee (not disclosing she was female) called 911 on them because they were black, but in reality, men of all races aren't allowed to sit down at Starbucks unless they immediately order something. Now they've done a 180 and everyone including homeless people are allowed to loiter and use the bathroom at any franchise, staying as long as they want without buying anything. I imagine Starbucks as a modern Aqualung: "Sitting at a coffee table, snot running down his nose!"

In addition to not wanting to take up space at a business without buying anything, I was letting her know I wouldn't think she was rude for starting to drink something without me. In addition, if she had been thinking properly and being willing to pay for both of us because she's the one who asked, I was letting her know I was willing to pay my way. At the time, didn't know my text would reveal her as a gold digging drink whore, that she would interpret it as "I'm not paying your way".

I quickly thought of something better. She had an event at a park that afternoon, and because I know where the best fall color is in that park, I suggested we walk there to see the nice leaves if she felt comfortable there (one of her profile photos was at that park, and it's a well travelled public path in daylight, relatively safe).

Eventually she sent several rapid fire psycho messages, ranting about my method of meeting. She claimed everyone she ever met paid for everything. She also tried to change my behavior, telling me to pay for everything on future dates. She ignored my other suggestion, proof she was just looking to mooch free drinks, not actually trying to get to know someone. When she had said she'd go with alternatives, she was probably hoping for something more expensive such as a five course dinner.

I quickly unmatched her. Bumble is aptly named because so many women on there are bumbling idiots. At least I exposed her true nature without having to leave home. It would be hell to find out at the restaurant / bar.

Some dudes might be thinking, "You should have paid for her drink. $5 is a bargain to get laid".
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
Can a woman review my profile please
Posted: 11/4/2018 10:11:02 AM
You already got an answer on paid features. Don't buy any of them!

You can improve your photos. You look like you're frowning in two photos and your face is mostly obscured in the other two. Smile.

Girls are known to twist around well meaning words. You said something about what's on the inside that matters. Some might read that as saying they don't look good.

You've been here less than a week. Be patient.

Best place for you to meet girls is in real life. You're a student. Should be able to encounter college girls!
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 46 (view)
she's and alcoholic, dry for 11 years, I'm a social drinker, looking for advice...
Posted: 11/3/2018 4:03:14 PM
Learned a new alcoholic code phrase this week: "Bill W". Already knew about "Is it 5 o'clock?"

Early in a conversation on Bumble, she said "I don't drink either" (that site now has a field for whether a user drinks: never, socially, often, or can be left blank. She didn't fill out any of her fields but saw mine). A message or two later, she asked, "Do you know Bill W?" When that happened, I thought it was unrelated to the earlier talk about not drinking, that she was asking if we had a mutual acquaintance. I said I couldn't think of anyone named Bill W. She said OK and the conversation moved to different subjects.

Things moved from the site to texting, then we spoke on the phone. Thought I would be asking her to meet during the phone call, but she was surprisingly rude and abrasive so I didn't feel like asking to meet. She eventually said she was getting another call so we ended the call. She texted that she wanted to talk on the phone again the next day.

In a text conversation the next day, I asked who Bill W was. She replied that she would explain later. She called that evening when she got home from work. I asked about Bill W, whereupon she revealed that she "was" an alcoholic and that people who are in AA or who have been in AA ask that to identify each other. People who don't drink are often suspected of being former alcoholics. That phone conversation ended when she said she was about to have her dinner. I didn't say anything about wanting to communicate with her in the future.

Next morning when I went on Bumble in response to a push notification on the site, she was gone from the conversations. Shrug. She was probably looking for a fellow alcoholic, a codependent enabler. Even if they're not currently drinking, they still have mood swings and bursts of rage / meanness. I deleted the text conversation as if I were disposing of a brown recluse walking across the phone screen.

In the future I'll know about "Bill W".
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 15 (view)
Unfriended, then re-friended woman who rejected me. What did this tell her?
Posted: 11/3/2018 6:29:26 AM

Facebook aka Stalkernet is the bane of this society.

Most Facebook behavior seems worthless, and Facebook is completely useless as a mobile app, but it's possible to view and participate in useful content through there.

I'm in two Facebook groups for lost and found pets in my area. Recently a dog without a collar or tag wandered to my street. My neighbor put the dog in my fenced backyard for safety, then when I got home, I took photos of the dog and posted them on the Facebook groups. My post got shared, and it wasn't long until the dog's person sent a message with his number. I called and he drove to my place and took the dog home less than two hours after I made the post. The Facebook group allowed a quicker reunion than if I had to wait until the next morning to take the dog to my vet to read her microchip. Would have been a delay of at least 15 hours for the pup to get home without Facebook.

Joined several other useful groups. One is for stolen alerts in my county. People can keep an eye out for vehicles, people captured on security cameras, and stolen items the thieves might try to sell. Sometimes people make amusing comments shaming the thieves when caught on camera. Sometimes people find the Facebook pages of the alleged thief. When the thief is male, often his Facebook page suggests he has a harem of female admirers and there are many photos of him with various women. Not surprised so many women flock to criminals like flies on ****. When the alleged thief is female, comments from females are often viciously catty, making fun of their face, body, clothing, likely promiscuity, etc. Comments from both genders about any thief often involve drug use, especially meth, and sometimes inbreeding.

One of my Facebook friends posts hilarious edgy memes the mainstream media would never consider.

I typically unfollow Facebook friends rather than unfriend them if they post overly annoying content (usually political). Haven't been unfriended by anyone in a long time; seems like all the snowflakes on my friends list have weeded themselves out. Although one gal who unfriended me on Facebook over a year ago recently voted yes or maybe for me on POF "Meet Me" when she got back on here (we initially matched on Tinder and went on one date in real life and were Facebook friends for about a year).
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 30 (view)
How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/2/2018 3:31:15 AM

The best second date I had this summer was meeting at a grocery store and buying day old bread and going to feed the ducks.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 3 (view)
Unfriended, then re-friended woman who rejected me. What did this tell her?
Posted: 11/1/2018 4:25:19 AM
Your chance of becoming more than friends again was probably already zero. Definitely zero now!

Does she post / share anything interesting on Facebook? If not, unfollow her on Facebook or unfriend her again.

I would delete the entire text conversation and not send her any unsolicited texts.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 3 (view)
These forums on android
Posted: 11/1/2018 3:56:17 AM
I view the forums on Android with ease.

From your mobile browser, type "" as the URL.

When this succeeds, you can make it a bookmark. I haven't made a bookmark for the forums yet on my new phone because if I just type "f", it brings up the forums on the first page of suggested pages.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 7 (view)
Your Best and Worst Halloween Costumes for Singles?!
Posted: 10/31/2018 6:37:04 AM
Messaged a gal on POF and we soon took things to texting. On Halloween I texted her asking if she was celebrating by wearing a sexy costume. She sent an image of her outfit and said she had shown 10 people the image and that nobody got it.

Her outfit had a name tag "Eileen". I asked if she was going as a woman with one leg. (The joke is "What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen! What do you call a woman with one leg in Japan? Irene!") Coincidentally she was recovering from a foot injury and was already walking with a limp. She said that wasn't it, but could be a second meaning.

She hinted it's a song title. When I viewed the image again, I finally noticed a bunch of white drippy looking spots on her face and neck and on her outfit. Told her I'd heard that joke before.

Our conversations to that point had been decent and she was very ladylike. Halloween can bring out boldness and vulgarity in anyone!
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
Why Office Air Conditioning is Sexist
Posted: 10/31/2018 4:33:48 AM
Hardly a sex topic. Better if you had posted in Off Topic.

Work is sexist against men. Women have cushy jobs in which they sit in a comfy desk while the air conditioning blows up their skirt. Meanwhile, men are slaving away on the front lines of hot deserts in Iraq and Afghanistan, slaving away in coal mines, freezing on dangerous commercial fishing boats in Alaska, doing construction outside in the summer, etc. Men are trapped in the glass cellar while women take most of the easy high paying jobs in education, law, and medicine.

The few men who obtain office jobs are forced to wear hot wool suits while women have a more varied dress code. If it's too cold, women can easily add a sweater. Men have fewer options; if it's cold, a suit jacket or vest is one of the few options. Men typically cannot put on a hat in the office. Most body heat is lost through the top of the head, so the real men with a natural hairline lose heat without a hat. Women typically have a big nest of hair to retain heat.

With so many old women in the workplace, they also stay warm via their hot flashes.

From what I've experienced, men have a higher tolerance for temperature in both directions.

One of my favorite Star Trek episodes, "Genesis" from Next Generation, has a relatable moment to real life. Worf tells the ship computer to decrease the temperature while Troi tells the computer to increase it. Sounds like a common situation in an office, though I've witnessed more cases of the women wanting it colder.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 20 (view)
Time wasters
Posted: 10/31/2018 4:22:26 AM

One of the things I dislike about both is that you have to do all of your initial talking using a text only interface on the cell phone.

Tinder is available via their website from a computer. Slower than the phone app, but prevents consuming cell data (my plan is 2 gig per month).

get things going in real life.

Yep. Being with someone for less than a minute in real life is a lot more advanced than exchanging dozens of messages online. Facial expressions, voice inflection, chemistry, and more in real life. One reason online guys disappear from the OP could be they encountered a gal in real life.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 42 (view)
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 10/30/2018 8:35:54 AM
Have scheduled two in a day on two occasions. Only one of the four occurred.

The first occasion was actually a would-be 4th date and a first meet. A weekday evening. Initially was going to have the short first meet first at a "coffee shop" in the inner city, then go to the other gal's home in the inner city (the two locations were only 2 or 3 miles apart, my main motivation for scheduling this way). In the middle of the day, the first meet gal texted me to say she would be staying late at the class she was taking, and could we meet later in the evening around 9 PM? For me to see both, would have to go to the other one's home first and gamble on things ending early enough to go on the other meet. If things went really well at her place, I wouldn't want to go on the meet, which would mean I would have to cancel giving late notice. So I honestly told her 9 PM was too late for me, that we could try another day. Meanwhile the other gal hadn't texted me since answering me rather early in the morning. Late in the afternoon I texted her to see what would be a good time for me to arrive. No response. Less than 30 minutes before I would leave to her place, I sent her another text. This time she replied saying she was home but her brother was there (her family members often showed up unannounced). I stayed home that evening; thankfully I found out soon enough to avoid leaving home. Didn't contact the other one to ask if she wanted to meet after all, as I'd be going the longer distance for just a short "coffee" meet. Never had a 4th date with the one; her lack of communication discouraged me from trying much more. Never met the other.

The second occasion was also motivated by location. Had a business meeting at 7 PM on a weekday in the inner city not far from downtown. A gal from Bumble and I were going to meet on a Saturday, weather permitting. Plan B was around 5 PM at the big city park not far from my business meeting. Saturday's weather was awful. She didn't call or text after it was confirmed we wouldn't meet Saturday. Meanwhile a dormant Tinder match resurrected a conversation that had ended months earlier. In our conversation, she mentioned she was going to Ikea in the near future. Because my business meeting was near Ikea, I suggested she go to her Ikea that day and we meet there because I was going to be there anyway. We agreed to meet at Ikea at 5. I texted the other gal, asking if she would be able to walk in the park earlier, at 3 PM. She said she would still be at work. It didn't really matter because weather was bad again and we probably would have had to meet at an indoor location anyway. The Ikea meet was pleasant and I had to run to my meeting to get there on time. The other gal and I never communicated again. Never saw the Ikea gal again. She was flaky, sending me a message calling me another guy's name. She probably juggled meets at a higher rate than my lowly two. I deleted her as a contact.
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 2 (view)
Super Unblock feature
Posted: 10/30/2018 7:20:47 AM
Tinder marketed themselves like a game last night.

Got a Tinder notification yesterday evening. Instead of a new match or new message, it was a lame Tinder push notification saying "You've unlocked a free super like!" and had game emoticons including a joystick.

I believe Bumble has in app purchases called Bumble Coins to send more super likes and to see the people who swiped yes on you first in the queue. They probably took those ideas from Tinder, and both are characteristic of "free" games that offer coins for lazy users to pay to get through the game quicker (like World of Warcraft letting you pay hundreds of dollars to ride on the back of a giant chicken).
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 4 (view)
Qualities men look for in a woman?
Posted: 10/29/2018 8:48:20 AM
I believe you're right about men generally looking for those qualities.

What are you asking the girls? Do you think any will admit to being zero out of seven? The ones who proclaim themselves intelligent aren't. Actual intelligent ones don't say they're smart. Attractive gals typically don't say they're attractive. Females rarely admit they want sex!

Have seen plenty of POF profiles that don't show any of the 7 qualities. I don't believe you're right that it's very difficult to find one with zero. My worst meet from POF could be classified as zero of the seven. For those seeking a quality person to meet, it might be difficult for the person you meet to be zero after making it through your screening of viewing the profile, exchanging messages here, and communication away from the site.

Have met at least one from here who seems to fit all seven.

High maintenance men seem significantly rarer than high maintenance women. Might be a generational thing as some millennial hipsters are high maintenance.

Sometimes emotional instability doesn't show until you've been with them a while.

Sometimes whether they want to have sex with you changes. Can be for the worse if you fall into the friendzone.
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