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 Author Thread: Teenage angst?
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Teenage angst?
Posted: 3/18/2010 12:55:58 PM
I have a 13 to daughter going on 24 and a 16 year old daughter who's apparently 24 as well.

They skip school, swear at me,if they are talking to me at all. They talk like truckers and think nothing of direspectin any authority teachers, police etc. They won't lift a finger, they bring hordes of "friends through my home that not only eat me out of but have stolen. My 13yo's goal in life is dating and her beauty. same can be said about the 16 yo....only she's dating a 27yo unemployed dude. When I protest I get " there's nothing you can do about it"


Having said all this I was fortunate to speak with a doctor....who told me girls brains disconnect in and around 13 without reconnection til about 24.

The way I am looking at this is a prison sentence....10 year prison sentence of which I could get early parole should the grey and white matter function sooner then later.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
would you call CAS on a friend?
Posted: 3/18/2010 12:45:12 PM
Never I repeat NEVER report a child to CPS. Kids in social care stand even a higher chance of being abused/killed/neglected/drugged/hungry/sexually abused.....the list goes on. Do you really want this child to not be able to see his own MOTHER?Perhaps instead of spending time on here complaining of some very obvious lack of parenting skills....you could drop gentle suggestions, assist her at times...for that matter take the child weekly to give her a break. There are lots of things within the community that could assist this Mom but its gonna have to start with you activating not crushing a Mom and Son.

Check out you tube and search foster hell or CPS hell.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Widows and Widowers, any ideas or advice?
Posted: 3/16/2010 4:50:36 PM
Hi Op

First off sorry for your loss.

I dated a gent 3 years post death, felt badly and empathized as well. We dated 2 years more. He never could move on. I wish differently for you. Just my two cents. In finding Love a person must move on and not rate by the person who has now taken angel status. Best to you all.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
stick with it or bail?
Posted: 2/19/2010 6:25:19 PM
Op correct me if I am wrong. You have already posted a degree? Are you doing graduate stuff or misleading the masses? If you already have a degree then you know that any relationship you have will need to be very supportive to succeed, your gonna work your buns off and have less money for tats and time for vacations or training. Its not impossible but its hard, unless your folks are loaded ( and I'm not talking chronic). If this is graduate stuff then you already know the answer. This is a silly post and I sure hope your not teaching anyone I know.

Sorry dude...not impressed.

opps my mistake when you said pursue education it wasn't a teaching degree ( Thank Christ). I take it back~ Not...has a degree and working construction? I agree the vibe has to be correct. I stand corrected.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Being serious vs being shallow
Posted: 2/19/2010 6:12:47 PM
Hi Op

I'm one of those girls who isn't doing the relationship thing " therefore just friends" If I message someone with other motivations its not to annoy the heck out of them, I assure you that. In similar ways we have people looking for more pressuring us, long after we have stated "just friends""read the bio". As you are being honest so am I, there is two sides to each story. I will message someone regardless of status because I find something cute they have said, share a common thought, made me think, or they messaged me etc. Its just people talking. As you are passionate about finding " the one" some of us don't share that goal both completely acceptable.

As for Metal!!! Right on!!!! If she's not up for it then move right on....she's not the one for you.

Op be selective in whom you talk to, friend or otherwise.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Hates his mother...... will hate you?
Posted: 2/19/2010 5:53:32 PM
A resounding "No". People lose spouses and go on to "Love again", People get beaten by fathers and go on to "Love other Males", These are but two examples of many many that could be listed.

If he acts creepy towards people its because he's creepy. Its a duck! Time to quit blaming anyone but himself. Maybe even time for you to quit enabling creepy behavior by making excuses and being his ,lets grind Mom down some more, cheerleader. You don't know his Mother nor were you privy first hand therefore its hearsay. Even if he has family that backs him, friends etc its still second hand and could all be a lark. Your championing fiction at best.

I agree with other posters you need to quit making this a mission of yours (((at all))). Which makes me wonder about you. Sorry OP you may truly be a good heart and want better for him, but fostering hatred even towards less then good parenting, is still hatred.

If your friend is lonely then I guess he is going to have to act like a decent, Loving man and lay his cross down. " People in Hell want ice water don't mean they get it" (said with a southern drawl.

I'm outta here
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Time goes slower
Posted: 2/13/2010 6:41:28 PM
It takes time to settle into your own routine. All of a sudden you have more time....the key will be to filling it with other things. In time you will find the days zooming by again. It will make you wonder how you ever had time for anything/one else before.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Ever Wonder.....
Posted: 2/12/2010 6:31:32 PM
Blah blah blah....I'm a bleeding liberal....Yhea I wonder about you.......sorry I ascribe loser
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Widows and Widowers, any ideas or advice?
Posted: 2/12/2010 6:25:04 PM
this post is gonna seem drastic...get over it he's dead. Ya want pity then seek OMG my husband died....if you want to get on let the dead body rest. You are not privileged,,,,people die all the time. If I was a guy I would run from you. Sorry he died
and may you get over him soon....perfection and all.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
some kind of sick joke! (longish read)
Posted: 2/11/2010 8:14:53 PM
hmmmm did these ladies know you were dating? Just wondering if you actually had " the convo" What I am hearing is you went out with some GF's who found a BF. aka you were a friend not a date. IMO
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
happy valentines
Posted: 2/11/2010 8:11:14 PM
Feb 14th is "National Pancake Day"

Sheesh even my kids know that

Quit your whining and grab the griddle....
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Oh, my! How would you guys handle this scenario?
Posted: 2/10/2010 7:34:54 PM
Lets use the Kiss principle
Lets not dissect each movement....each being redundant.

If " your freind" is feeling second, pushed aside, at unease....then something is wrong even if there is nothing wrong.

Hearts heal...pain is gratefully refunded.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Come to Find out I was Just a Rebound.
Posted: 2/10/2010 7:28:14 PM
This is spilled milk. Lots of people lie. You bought it and indeed he has major creep factor written all over for having lied to you. At the end of the day you are hurt and betrayed. In that alone you should smile you cuffed him to the curb. Sure pain takes time but I have little doubt you need to rethink this. Let him have his ex and time for you to move on when you're truly healed. A message for both of you. Best wishes on a speedy recovery.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Staying Single On Purpose
Posted: 2/9/2010 6:50:30 PM
Yes ~ message to short~ message to short ~ message to short.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Depressed
Posted: 2/9/2010 6:21:35 PM
As mush as it hurts you are going to have to occupy your mind with new thoughts. One will be not thinking about this newlywed woman. Please leave her alone.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Bachelor's Degree superiority complex...
Posted: 2/9/2010 6:16:47 PM
I think its completely acceptable that your feeling jilted. Some people are opportunists and seek the easiest root to money ( no reference to be made lol) You know the easy root? Avenues close and become obsolete? Then a person feels completely ripped off for having taken the road more traveled. I suspect this is/was a conversation many parents share with their kids. Don't be angry at those who listened. I hear universities are accepting applications all over. I hear women with Master and Doctorates don't even post their credentials due to bottom feeders ,profound eh? Its pretty easy...if these women are irritating you seek your kind or find commonality. Whining will never be an acceptable venue.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
x wife
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:58:38 PM
Ha Ha Mail order Bride burned ya...seems the servant served ya! How strange
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
I trusted him & you would too
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:39:32 PM
Check this book out " The Sociopath Next Door" Heather Clitheroe if memory serves me correctly. It should be a socio 101 required reading. Anyone with any human emotion and feelings should read this book. Your encountering them in relationships, at work and at the corner store. wakey wakey......not all socio paths are Jeffery Daumers'.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Possible to start a relationship while you still love her?
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:18:15 PM
^^^ sorry beg to differ. OP here has posted friends....would appear he's on a journey of healing not serial dating. I suppose OP your going to have to find your way back to this woman or let go. You only have but two options.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Still struggling
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:12:06 PM
^^^Kpooks has well stated it....its time for you to cac0on and heal. Time for you and time to become reacquainted with whom you are. Time to slow the chaos brought on by dychwad and allow yourself to be happy, joyous and free. This is called down time and its purely selfish in a good way. Time for you...and in your greatest moments of pain know each and everyone of us have been there. We never lost hope though. Keep posting and keep venting....allow yourself this moment of greif knowing that your not crazy or terminally unique. Indeed you are being screwed over and it hurts like h-ll. You will rise again.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Need some advice. ...
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:04:17 PM
Yes she has lots of potentials...
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
No goodbye No nothing
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:01:25 PM
Some will return and some won't....again it all depends on the secrets they are harvesting. At the end of the day we can agree on this much though. Regardless, should they come back or not " Who Cares", Love doesn't act like this.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
No goodbye No nothing
Posted: 1/29/2010 9:41:24 PM
Not uncommon at all. No I can't fathom why this occurs except obviously there are secrets to great to share. Its very unfortunate that some people can't be honest nor heart felt. Hope you have a good weekend as well.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Still struggling
Posted: 1/29/2010 3:06:33 PM
I am not surprised to hear how you are feeling. The first 7 days your floored and the first 30 days your shocky while falling back on the floor, you can liken it to a fish out of water. Kiddo your gonna hurt for a while and there is not much you can do about it but go through the pain. Sometimes you will have to weather one bad minute, then 5 bad minutes, then and hour and so forth and so on. Eventually enough time passes and you will no longer have these yearnings.

Its normal in the grief cycle to want a person back. Its called denial. If you wish to continue being part of a three way charade then by all means no one would stop you from crawling on your knees. "Pain is gratefully refunded, " so they say.

I also beleive you recognize this fellow for whom he is and what he is lackingly capable of. For now your routine , dream, hopes, promises all in flux. Your panic is from the loss of the stability you presumed you had. 10 years is a long time of routine, indeed you must be very scared and very hurt.

You are however absolutely normal for all that has transpired.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
I trusted him & you would too
Posted: 1/27/2010 9:50:05 PM
Hun you can't expose him in the manner you would like or for that matter I would like you to. Have faith that he won't fool more people, this is beyond your control though.Obviously he has hurt you or you wouldn't be here posting at all let alone in the broken hearts. I am surprised you would entertain someone married 4 times, is that not a huge red flag in itself? Apparently he's a good salesman....perhaps its time to smile and be glad your not number five.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Reconciliation - when is it possible?
Posted: 1/27/2010 8:05:40 PM
Infidelity, physical abuse, addictions, laziness, over bearing extended families,Bratty endeared children, lacking commonality,non stop ex's....shall I go on?
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I trusted him & you would too
Posted: 1/27/2010 7:59:31 PM
Only thing that confuses me is why your on the broken hearts section? Sounds like you should be celebrating not being duped by a freakzoid. How many marriages? lol
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 154 (view)
 
She won't write back!
Posted: 1/27/2010 2:43:15 PM
Wouldn't you prefer to know the person is rude from the get go? Not replying is your first clue the person is potentially uninterested or perhaps even lazy/rude. Be happy for the lacking response...all coins have two sides.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Need help -- can't get guy out of head!!!
Posted: 1/26/2010 12:34:48 PM
Making a pro's a cons list of the relationship can be helpful. Each time you get dream like or find yourself off in the abyss you pull it out and reacquaint yourself of the reality of why things didn't work out.

Like the rubber band suggestion you can also choose to literally tell yourself " STOP IT" and redirect your thinking at that moment. Practice that technique long enough and eventually it become ingrained naturally in your psyche.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Was it rape?
Posted: 1/25/2010 10:54:54 PM
If your cognizant to write this post your cognizant to watch your drinks and purse. At 39 I would simply ask which convent you were raised/communed? Given your a fellow Pofter me thinks you seek pity or you'd be seeking a shrinks advice not our pity. Your old enough to know better, and to damn old to be this stupid.

For now use your fingers to count and perhaps when you grow up you can associate with adults be it kind or devious. Truly 39 and posting as a 13 year old? Maybe some guys find this charming but frankly I want whatever you drank, double.

L8ter
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Can anyone help me please?
Posted: 1/22/2010 3:40:17 PM
Why am I sitting her sobbing about all the broken promises and dreams...?


You have hit the nail on the head! You are grieving the loss of hopes and dreams. Intrinsically you know the answer.

When you are in your logical brain you also recognize you are not grieving the loss of this cad. The behaviors you have described are repulsive therefore there is no grief. In time those behaviors will anger you but hopefully not to the point of hatred. For now the loss of those hopes and dreams have been devastating. You have also under gone a betrayal of large proportions. This is bound to cause self doubt/apathy/deactivation at a time when you must most champion yourself.

At our age we know the stages of grief. Its always helpful to review them to ensure yourself you are perfectly normal feeling as you do this moment.

I do assure you this too shall pass. It truly is one of the most hel-ish feelings you are going through right now however you are not alone.

Keep posting and be good to yourself. Protect yourself at this point. At times like this you give yourself the compassion you would a best friend. Think of the advice you would give a best friend then act on that for yourself. Its time to advocate for yourself, knowing fully well you have a right to your dreams and hopes with people whom respect them.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
What is a man eater?
Posted: 1/17/2010 3:12:34 PM
I suppose a "Man Eater" is the female counter part of the proverbial " Bad Boy". Be Grateful they are gone before they caused wreckage in you life. Chalk this one up to having met an extremely selfish vessel of purulent pus.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Parents drama.
Posted: 1/15/2010 4:53:27 PM
Perhaps its time to sit down one by one and speak to your Mom as a young adult about your thoughts and her concerns. A happy middle ground for now until her experiences with other races could prove beneficial for you, the gf and your mom. Hiding most things from your parents will aide in them feeling betrayed and unable to respect you due to lacking truth.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
men can be broken hearted too lol
Posted: 1/10/2010 11:35:35 PM
Second that motion^^^ one week is nothing. Sounds like you like being hard arse but lose immensely due to this lacking character. I'll suggest next two years you spend with anyone you feel a tad more. Don't give me the I'm a man and can't express myself....cop out and BS detectors up and flagging you. One week and on a dating site.....way to go Mr. Loving.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Help :(
Posted: 12/22/2009 7:54:48 PM
Sorry again but I'm gonna call you on your stuff aka shyte. You have mostly focused on whining bout missing her and the loss of the relationship while adding a tad about the abortion for impact. The horrendous display of lacking Love & Respect she has shown any form of life ( incidentally that includes you) eludes you. Perhaps a video will wake you out of this slumber. Yes the new beau should get a thank you card. Do you not deserve better? Do your kids not deserve better? Come on wake up!
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 55 (view)
 
is it wrong to want revenge??
Posted: 12/20/2009 2:58:59 PM
ahhh nothing says FU like a well planned FU some one to two years later...higher ground? you bettcha

its only illegal if you get caught
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 73 (view)
 
How Important Is Musical Taste In A Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2009 2:44:06 PM
Music compatibility is huge. As you already know music is an expression of something far deeper within. If some one isn't getting it they won't understand you.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 544 (view)
 
How many is too many?
Posted: 12/20/2009 2:21:32 PM
I wouldn't be so worried about how many verses quality.....nothing says loving like experience ( that benefits you). For that matter nothing says Holy Crap like herpes and that dreaded HIV ( ya only want that once)

Back to our regular programming.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Broke it off b/c she wants to work at hooters or waitress at strip club?
Posted: 12/20/2009 2:03:20 PM
Since when does working at Hooter or a strip club make you void of morals? Perhaps she will go to work and help some down and outers....lets face it there's lots of these types in those places. Bright hearts and bright minds seek challenges, and an opportunity to inspire.Since you have written little about your ex with regards to her nature and thoughts its hard to determine. Heck she may well be a damn missionary drawing the needy in with boobs while actualizing reality to lost souls. Things are not always surface perhaps you have over read into your jealous side. Maybe she just needs an adventure...if your not comfortable with it then I agree move on and save both of you the headache and squabbles.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Never met any of her friends...
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:56:02 PM
I can only speak for myself. I for one won't introduce a BF to family nor friends unless I think there is commitment. I need not interfere with their lives by adding fleeting complexities. In the same breath I really don't want to meet their family and friends either. Unless the relationship is heading somewhere then why bother...friends and family complicate matters, who needs it.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 237 (view)
 
Are tall men more likely to cheat?
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:49:57 PM
Why Yes!!! Tall men are all cheaters.... I read it on Wiki honest I did
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
I am a coward about breaking up...
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:46:53 PM
Lots of people choose January to make changes. Until your a 100% sure this is not workable give it the necessary time and effort in that all doubt should be removed before making such a choice. Sounds like neither of you are communicating with the other...there are fixes for such things. Breaking up is easy. Living with regret is not.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
ideas
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:42:51 PM
Let her go and proceed with your own life. Should it work out in the future great but until then you have a life to live and people to meet. She's controlling you from the grave and your buying it.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Help :(
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:23:45 PM
Sorry is you have taken offense to my post. The intent was to shock you into what this woman has DONE to you and your un born. Your longing for her although natural may put you in a worse spot should she reconsider or worse yet you. Frankly I don't understand why your not furious.

In the magnitude of which she discards life I don't suspect you'll be an exception.

For those nay sayers ( my fan club) the description is accurate but feel free to hide your heads in the sand.


The Truth Shall Set You Free




 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
How Do You Know Your Man Is Cheating???
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:11:50 PM
Might I suggest taking your time getting to know people? See if their stories align or make any sense what so ever. See if they can remember what they have said verses what they do.
Study the person before ever getting involved. If they can't keep it all straight then dismiss them. Isn't life hard enough without inviting Flake Tards in?
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
exgirlfriend was best friend before dating
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:04:01 PM
Sure you miss her.On so many levels you miss her but deeply you know the answer is to respect yourself and her enough to go your separate ways. Anyone coming out of a marriage will need time to establish themselves. Transitional relationships are not uncommon ( this is what you experienced) Who knows maybe in time you can be friends again but for now leave well alone and let the wounds begin to heal.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Found the one and the it fell apart
Posted: 12/20/2009 12:52:45 PM
ohhhhhhhhhhh " Skanky Pie"

How about you send me your husbands cell and I can end your torment. Just think of the possibilities...there's millions of families you can destroy.

L8ter Satan.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Long-term BS
Posted: 12/20/2009 12:45:46 PM
Becca

Some people will list long term because do deeply desire that. Here's the clincher, they haven't the first idea what that looks like let alone the mind set nor skills necessary to make it a reality. Look at how many men are on here 40 upwards who have no kids and have never been married, stating long term. Its good for comedic value.

Never forget actions speak louder then words. If buddy can't pay you a compliment with mere lip service .I doubt you want him in your batting cage.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Transitional Relationships
Posted: 12/17/2009 1:49:44 AM
More often then not they don't work out. Be happy with yourself and look back fondly at the 20 months. Forgive and forget...

We get to certain ages with certain wounds(all for reason)...you brought him thus far now take pride in having been instrumental in his growth. Along the way you have learned much too. Your onto your next Journey may it be a great one.
 shanadoah
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How to move on after a failed relationship
Posted: 12/16/2009 4:36:30 PM
Yes he is playing you...Love doesn't behave this way. Find a definition of Love and do a comparison check to winky man. You'll realize Love has nothing to do with how you are being treated. The average bear wouldn't treat their dog like you have described. Frankly you should be right PO'ed.
 
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