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 Author Thread: Need help Please !!!!
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Need help Please !!!!
Posted: 2/11/2013 12:11:48 PM
Ok, just read your profile...you say you don't want anything serious and just to "hang out" and then you go a bit ballistic when some jerk blows you off when you haven't met him yet. You need to grow a spine and decide what you really do want and not be saying you just want to hang out when you obviously want a real relationship. And make it clear what you do want and that you will not settle for just anyone. Unless, of course, you will. And as the other people said, grow a thick skin or the people you meet on here will eat you alive. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying - its not meant to be mean or hurtful, just trying to tell you how you appear to others. Good luck and be glad that guy moved on...
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Is it tacky to start dating with a newborn??
Posted: 12/13/2011 9:41:21 PM
Its not "tacky", its just not wise. You have a whole world full of responsibilities now and you need to concentrate on those rather than looking for Mr. Wonderful. When your baby is older, sure go out, have some fun, but remember your number one priority is your child - from now until you die OMG - did I really say that - well, it is the truth. But don't worry, children do leave the nest, they just never leave your heart
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
am i wrong?
Posted: 8/4/2011 10:03:26 PM
Everyone is totally right, she was using you for a babysitter, bank, whatever her need was at the moment. People like that are narcissistic (SP?) - they are interested in one thing and one thing only - their needs and they do not care who they hurt along the way - obvious in her trying to lay a guilt trip on you about her daughter. That is the saddest part of all, her daughter will have no guidance, love or protection from such a person. Get help for your depression and MOVE ON a few months from now. Good luck!
 Idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 198 (view)
 
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 5/13/2011 10:49:32 PM
At this point in my life I have to say NEVER! I can be a great friend to anyone, but to have a relationship which includes sex, baby, he's gotta have something going on that is attractive to me. Which probably explains why I am still on here posting this kind of junk on a Friday night
 Idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
narcissists
Posted: 3/22/2011 9:47:02 PM
I do exactly what? Listen to my gut, watch for red flags-- and that makes me what? A knowledgeable person who has had some bad personal experiences with people who were not exactly mentally stable (or worse) and I now use that knowledge to guide my decisions about whom I let into my world. That is called becoming educated, growing up, becoming mature, watching out for oneself , or any number of catch phrases I could chose. Someone has a problem with that? I would say that someone just has a problem and might need to understand we all need to use our best judgement about whom we let into our lives.
 Idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
narcissists
Posted: 3/22/2011 7:35:46 PM
Msg 111, um, you misread what I posted (socio/psychopaths) were categorized separately from NPDs and BPDs - (they are actually called anti-soicial personality disordered - such a nice way to say - watch out, this one just might decide to kill you instead of just use you and toss you aside). We will and so run into all kinds of people, some with more serious mental illnesses such as bipolar disorders, some with lesser disorder such as NPD - just watch for the signals that send up red flags and give you that strange feeling in your gut. We can't live in a perfect world because there are no perfect people (not even me ) but we can be aware of the people we let into our lives and be more thoughtful and careful about those choices.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
narcissists
Posted: 3/21/2011 5:45:13 PM
Curious,JD, where in the world did you get the idea that males are NPD and females are BPD. Having studied psychology, I have never, ever had any psychologist, psychiatrist or MSW state that either personality disorder was more prone in either sex! I know NPDs who are female and BPDs who are males; it has nothing to do with your sex, it has to do with your mental disorder. And the psychiatrists I studied with stated borderline's are the black hole of psychiatry, there simply is no help for them; no conscience and therefore they cannot recognize there is anything wrong with themselves. Both of these personality disorders share similar traits but the borderline is the most difficult to deal with unless you add in socio/psychopaths. (of course they- socio/psychos- become the Charles Mansons and Ted Bundys of the world) And just like NPDs and BPDs, they can be the most charming people you will ever meet until they use you and toss you aside or murder you, whichever appeals to them.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Judging someone from the way they treat their pets.
Posted: 9/17/2010 5:59:47 PM
c4, you seem to be totally hung up on "why does he want to know if he overreacted.." you just keep bringing it up, why? It was just his way of asking if what he was told would upset others, maybe he could have used other language, such as "is it a red flag to you" or some other terminology. That is not the point and neither is why he asked her where the dog was while they were on the date. I would guess he was simply trying to make conversation and show interest since she had brought up the topic of her dog several times. IMO this is being over analyzed and no, he did not overreact.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Judging someone from the way they treat their pets.
Posted: 9/7/2010 10:27:07 PM
I am taking the OP at his word, he was apparently told the dog was left in a crate that it could barely stand up in for hours and hours. This is NOT a forum about whether or not crate training/restraining is or is not a good thing, it is about his reaction to what his date said about her dog. Basing my judgment on what he said she told him about the dog, the dog is being abused and his reaction was not an over reaction at all. In fact, had he found the story amusing, then I would think he had a problem. JMHO as a dog owner who has an organization trying to stop cruelty to animals in my state.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Judging someone from the way they treat their pets.
Posted: 9/5/2010 11:07:50 AM
I have always had dogs - outside dogs when I was a child, inside dogs when I moved to the city. Some dog trainers say dogs feel safe and secure in a cage and that may be true but since we cannot ask them, I have my doubts. My dogs have always been given the run of the house while I was at work or gone. But this woman's reaction to the dog not being able to stand up and having diarrhea in the cage is atrocious! A dog will never, ever willingly mess where it sleeps. Give the beech the heave ho; she has huge red flags because animal abuse translates many times to human abuse and she is abusing this dog by leaving it alone all day in a crate. Dogs need human interraction, EXERCISE and a clean environment. I have a non-profit org. devoted to upgrading my state's cruelty to animals laws, so I hear every kind of horrible story imaginable; this is a lesser case of abuse but it is still abuse.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Are you a faithful type? And what does it mean?
Posted: 9/4/2010 11:37:38 PM
Being faithful means exactly that; you are faithful and do not cheat on your s o, ever. Why all the bashing of the wife in this example??? We know absolutely nothing about her or what their marriage was really like. People do grow apart and lose their love for the other person, that is why we have divorce as an option; rather than cheating, which is what this man did. As to the home wrecker, lots of those around, especially for older men who want some arm candy and a new reason to fill their viagra prescriptions. Cheating is cheating and not acceptable; and no, I do not believe it is in a man's nature to not be monogamous, that is a great excuse for rotten behavior. If you no longer want to be with someone, grow up and get the hell out before you find someone else as a replacement. Be on your own, take inventory of who you are and what you want and then you will be ready to find someone you can be faithful to and hopefully they will be faithful in return.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 41 (view)
 
How long is appropriate to go without sex (with a partner) to consider yourself a virgin again?
Posted: 7/29/2010 6:40:28 PM
LMAO !!! Oh, you poor thing - LOL, honey once you do it, you are NEVER a virgin again. Your purity "ran out" the very first time - OMG, thanks for the laugh...
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Klonopin, xanax, ambien...does anyone think that this is way too much??
Posted: 7/22/2010 9:51:55 PM
Actually most psychiatrists only do meds, very few do any actual counseling, so those with anxiety issues will need meds and probably counseling with a psychologist or other professional counselor. The psychiatrist will have the person in for periodic med checks and to see if progress is being made in handling the illness.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Klonopin, xanax, ambien...does anyone think that this is way too much??
Posted: 7/20/2010 10:19:41 PM
Ooops, I missed the part that she is not being prescribed the klonopin and xanax, she needs to see a Dr. and get the correct meds for whatever she is dealing with. If you want to stay with her, you have to bring this up - maybe by saying "I am worried that you are taking these meds that have not been prescribed for you...please lets talk about this..."
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Does facial hair on men over 45 make them look older or younger?
Posted: 7/20/2010 7:56:18 PM
I see soooo many older men with mustaches and/or beards that are gray or nearly white and all I can say is OMG, why are you adding 20 years to yourself! It's as if there is a " Papa Hemingway fetish" or something when men get older...I don't get it because, in my eyes, it adds many years to guys I used to think were handsome...But would it stop me from dating someone, no, but I might suggest shaving it at some point because I don't like kissing all that hair - bleck.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Klonopin, xanax, ambien...does anyone think that this is way too much??
Posted: 7/20/2010 7:45:10 PM
I don't know about using ambien with klonopin and xanax, but I do know xanax and klonopin can be and are used in combination to prevent panic attacks. My family has heriditary panic disorder and one member uses both of those drugs and they are the combo for him/her that works the best. Other family members only use xanax. My family members do not respond well to the long-lasting anti-anxiety meds so most use a single drug. And xanax can help with insomnia, which I have. I have tried lunesta and it did not help with my sleep problems. So, it is not unusual to take klonopin and xanax. As the other posters have pointed out, you need to discuss this with her and find out why she is on the drugs and, if possible, attend a Dr. appt. with her. She may have a myriad of mental health issues or she may have panic disorder which causes insomnia in some people. You simply need to know what she is being treated for and if she is receiving the meds from a "legitimate" source, then you can deal with the issue. Good luck.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Are there any good, non concided guys in Sudbury????
Posted: 2/18/2010 12:11:41 AM
Not the literary guild but perhaps her problem has to do with her inability to relate in an appropriate verbal/written manner, it is not concided, it is conceited, sorry, as an English major, just can't help it...
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is he a snake or a Lamb
Posted: 2/18/2010 12:02:40 AM
He's not either, he is playing you, Hello, you can't talk about other men and would make an ideal roommate because you could cook and clean...honey, that is so 1950's, women don't need to cook and clean for someone else, we can do it for ourselves and if a man wants us, it is because of who we are, what we believe in, what we contribute to the world, and the fact that we just plain rock as a human being. Get rid of this dude, he's a player; nothing more, nothing less, you deserve more and you will find it because you are just realizing your potential as a woman!
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 321 (view)
 
What do you think of a peron committing suicide over a broken heart??
Posted: 9/27/2009 11:04:17 AM
Suicide is not selfish, it is the release from unbeable pain that the person cannot believe will ever end. It is an answer to what seems an endless existence that simply cannot be tolerated by some of the sweetest souls, those with the most giving hearts and those who are most sensitive. Do not pass judgment unless you personally have experienced that pain and simply cannot believe it will ever end. There can be many factors that play into the decision that not another soul knows about.
I speak from experience of nearly losing the most important person in my life and of losing two I dearly loved. Be a bit more giving and loving and forgiving of those among us who are sensitive souls...
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Would you rather be 'right' or be 'happy'?
Posted: 9/23/2009 5:35:29 PM
I would rather be happy with the right person I tend to see this question in different terms i.e. can you be happy if you are not with the right person? My experience and ego tell me that you cannot be happy with the person who is not right for you. But there are so many gray areas between being right and being happy that I find the whole question to be rather silly. You can be right about many, many things and not be happy and you can be happy while being wrong about many, many things. The question is philosophically rather ridicules don't ya think? In terms of relationships, there has to be compromise if you are with the right person. If you are with the wrong person, it really doesn't matter because no matter what you do, say, give, take, it simply won't work if you are not compatible with that person. I speak from personal experience, of course because I'm usually right Of course I am, that's why I ended up with the wrong person!
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Trying something new
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:06:48 AM
Just for fun, I checked out your profile to see if you had made changes and good for you, you did. I tried to message you but was told you were not accepting mail from ppl my age and MY GENDER. You better check your settings, as I am definitely female
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
I am confused, please tell me why
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:53:03 PM
Roses and ordering dinner for her = roses are overboard on a 1st date, maybe one daisy would be a nice gesture. Ordering for her, oh oh, I'm sure she has a mind of her own, all women do. But yes, too much too soon. Next time, keep yourself in check by doing something nice like dinner and then some place where you can have fun and talk but make yourself a deadline - home by 1 or 2 a.m. Roses after you both agree and feel that you want something exclusive - after you get to know the girl much better. Good luck, you have a lot of fun times ahead, don't be so hard on yourself.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Trying something new
Posted: 8/30/2009 9:49:32 AM
What denim said - waaaaaay too many restrictions, good grief, the woman of your dreams might actually be farther away then 75 miles and be a couple of years older than you - you need to be open to more possibilities. And same about the pictures, get a good clear pic or two, (although mine aren't that clear either). Leave in the wine, the foot rub - that can go into an e-mail as you are getting acquainted although some women might really like to read that part, just my take on things - from someone who is older than you (and most everyone else in the world). Good luck.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Requesting your valuable insight and help
Posted: 8/30/2009 9:38:20 AM
What you have written is just great, wouldn't change it, however, I think the problem may be your pics; they are not very flattering. While showing your athleticism and love of sport, they seem to make you look older than your stated age and are not taken in situations that flatter your looks. As someone who is not photogenic myself, that is what I perceived when I looked at your profile ~ good luck.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 634 (view)
 
Whats with women that invite their dogs into the bedroom to sleep?
Posted: 8/7/2009 6:37:22 PM
PPl who don't love animals, have pets they are attached to will never understand the bond that develops between a human and dogs especially, that's ok, it is your loss but also your choice. I agree that some of the stories on here are absolutely over the top when it comes to the pet being in control. A well trained dog will not scratch the door down, have to be fed at the table between the "owner" and guest - ew ick. My dog gets a few human treats but knows which rules apply. I don't think dogs should be in the bed or the room during a romantic interlude, that would creep me out too. As to beastialty, oh gawd, get a life, sicko!
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 621 (view)
 
Whats with women that invite their dogs into the bedroom to sleep?
Posted: 7/31/2009 8:12:51 AM
My dog sleeps with me because it is MY bed and I decide who sleeps in it.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Can I get an honest answer please
Posted: 7/15/2009 11:26:29 AM
You definitely need better pics, as in SMILE, be in a fun looking place doing something fun-- look like you draw people to you because you are a real honest good guy who wants a real honest relationship. But along with that, add what kinds of fun things you would like to share with a woman and what kinds of qualities you would like to see both of you share as well as activities. And don't get too down on not getting responses, trust me at my age, I never hear from anyone who interests me, so I just come in and lend my "intelligent ideas" on forums and tell other people what to do with their profile - cause I'm obviously an expert at drawing men to me Do let us know when you update your pics and profile and don't feel alone in not getting lots of responses, lots of us don't - have a good day!
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Can I get an honest answer please
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:45:34 AM
Be inclusive about what she likes to do, while explaining how you have fun indicate you want to know her likes and dislikes and hope to combine the two or compromise on your differences - women really do want to be with someone who likes to have fun and make them laugh. Maybe tease her about something like "I hope you're not into bungy jumping, hang gliding or maybe other extreme sports, but if you are, maybe you'll have to chain me up and take me with you - just don't forget the blindfold"! Glad to not see the tat -whatever it was. I also agree with a better hair cut, and some pics of you doing something fun with friends - maybe a pic at the mall - ha ha. Good luck...
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
profile review please
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:29:35 PM
A quick review told me what you like to do but almost nothing about your qualities. Are you loyal, honest, etc? And, more importantly, you don't list the qualities you seek in a woman - what kind of woman do you want, what does she enjoy doing? Let them know you are interested in knowing what they like so you can both learn to like the same things or already share the same interests. Women want to know what you appreciate about them and if you could easily communicate about those things with her. They also want to know that having fun with them would be a high priority for you.

Also you twice listed: you are buying a house and have lots of friends. Good luck.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Looking for a review
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:13:51 PM
It is sounding better, maybe a bit too long still and I would like to see you add more of what she would like - something like - would sure like to know what kinds of music you like and who would you want to see - we could trade off on concerts if our tastes aren't a complete match...something like that. Women want their needs and wants to be recognized - a real failure on many men's parts. And glad to hear about the hair being shorter. It is hard to write about yourself, isn't it
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Looking for a review
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:57:19 AM
Ok, way too much info on skiing, no need to mention all the places or prices or passes- just how much you enjoy and what type and that you would hope to find someone who would join you. No need to list your motorcycles just that you have them and would like to find someone who would want to ride with you or would be understanding that you love to ride. Be inclusive- add something about wanting to know what she enjoys and that you hope you can combine your activities, wants, ideas. Women don't like being told what to do...Personally, I would suggest a less shaggy look, get a new cut, lose the beard- at least for a while- it will all grow back if you don't like the new you. Good luck
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
I think my profle needs a tune up
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:43:03 AM
You're welcome. It's looking better, but have you considered saying something such as "I would like to find someone who would enjoy the same activities I do which are....(the things you listed) and want to share in the activities you like. Be inclusive, not telling her what she will be doing and add some teases about what you are afraid she might want you to do: skydiving, bungy jumping, heliskiing- you know things most people might be scared of, teasing is a great way to add humor. I missed the separated part first time, you need to specify when you think the divorce will be final, separated men do not make for ltrs. As to the weight, I'm glad you are working on it, for your health's sake as well as being attractive to women. Weight distributes itself eveywhere - been there and know how it feels...so keep up the good work...
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I think my profle needs a tune up
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:45:44 PM
Yes, I agree. First of all the words "a whore in private" are misogynistic and a total turn off to most women - there will be plenty of time for sex talk as you become acquainted. Your profile is too long and you talk too much about you, you you. I would just throw a few of your accomplishments into the body of your profile but very briefly. The politics, religion section, same thing - a quick mention that you are liberal, conservative, whatever, you are not writing a thesis, you are writing a profile to attract someone to you because they want to get to know you, have fun with you, find out about you and yes, I like profiles with quite a bit of info, but yours is too much and too serious. Also, being perfectly honest, are you considering ways to lose weight, if so mention that you are working on it. Good luck.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Please Give Me Your Thoughts
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:34:51 PM
Yes, separated elephant 1st and when is divorce to be final? You come across as stiff and formal - what do you like to do for fun, what makes you laugh, do you openly express your feelings...those are the things I like to read about - knowing someone is serious about a relationship but that the person wants to have fun is just as important at least to me - good luck.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control?
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:06:29 PM
"My boyfriend and I both work...but he does financially much better than i do. His hours are shorter but his residence is paid for. He doesnt pay for much..i pay for my movies, diners, CIGGARETTES!, groceries, clothing, gas, rent...he pays his cell bill thats it."
OP, you have a lot more issues going on than whether or not he should help pay for your BC, he is a selfish, uncaring user and you are letting him do it!! Get rid of the jerk and find someone better or go it alone, you don't need a cheap, uncaring piece of sh*t like that in your life. There are guys who help out in many ways in a real relationship, sounds to me like he just cares about getting laid! And no, I am NOT suggesting men pay for everything, that is ridicules, but he should be helping you in SOME ways and paying for more than his cell phone if he really cares about you and the situation you are in -develop some backbone and send him packing. And for gawd's sake, don't trust in condoms to do the job, they are very untrustworthy for BC.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control?
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:53:29 PM
What about all the people on here who believe it is the woman's responsibility (and I am moslty among them, if he buys the condoms to prevent stds) contact your congress people and demand that birth control be covered under everyone's insurance. I find it disgusting that viagra is covered but not birth control. How sexist is that - the pill to get it up and impregnate someone is covered by insurance, but the pill or device to stop a woman from becoming pregnant isn't! And, if there are financial difficulties arising, then yes, I think the man should help with the cost of bc, if the relationship is based on equality in other areas, I can see two sides to this issue and as others have suggested, it should be brought up for discussion between the couple. But if it is a "you must pay to play" issue, no, don't agree with that idea at all.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control?
Posted: 7/2/2009 7:59:34 AM
She should pay for her birth control and HE should pay for the condoms, since birth control methods (the pill and other methods) normally do NOT prevent stds. That is the main reason to use condoms, they aren't that reliable for birth control.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
The Wound
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:46:26 PM
I really would like some serious feedback on my poem...but am enjoying the humor too! It is difficult to read humor, sarcasm, teasing in this format, isn't it cindiloowho ?
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The Wound
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:24:22 AM
Yep, that's me a cougar dating guys half my age who expect me to pay for my own lunch even....but on the serious side, your response probably comes from the fact that you are Half my age and cannot phathom feelings expressed at my stage in life. Anway, yes, writing is like being naked in front of the world...now somebody throw me a towel, a blankie, something, please!
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
The Wound
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:41:04 PM
ok, pickle, at least I'm not sour and shaped like a ....oh never mind...your comment was funny, but my poem is quite serious, although I do write fluff stuff too...and as for the sour cream and cheese, not on my diet, but thanks for the offer and that is not a banana, it is a pickle I swear....
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
The Wound
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:41:12 PM
For as long as my memory takes me into my past, it has been there. I've never been certain as to what it should be called; sometimes I call it the yearning, tonight as I contemplate it, the wound seems more appropriate. It has never been filled, healed, completed or even in a state of remission it seems. It is as though there is a gaping hole next to, beside, even inside my heart.

It is a physical pain and I have tried to fill it by loving, by drinking, traveling, thinking, writing, growing a garden, watching a sunset, playing in the surf, touching a baby whale in San Ignacio Lagoon, snorkeling with stingrays and sharks, talking to counselors, educators, friends, strangers, loving animals...

And yet the wound is never healed, the yearning is never satisfied, the need is never satiated, the longing is never gone, the promise is never kept, the glory is never felt, the honor is never bestowed, the wanting is never over, the hole is never filled, the loneliness is never gone, the completion is always just out of reach.

I feel unwhole, incomplete, only partial, unknowing, frustrated, angry, upset and I want to cry but don't what about or why.

Does everyone else feel this way, or is it just me who seems so unfulfilled, so empty, so desparately wanting to know what it is I cannot find and why.

I want to fill it, goddamn it, I want to fill it 'til it overflows into my gut and flows out some heretofore unknown orifice and fills me and covers me with a wrap that is warm, golden and, most of all, happy.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
I seriously have terrible trouble APPROACHING women.
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:12:41 PM
Are you trying to approach women who are "out of your league" or do you try with just someone cute who attracts you? You are a cute guy, but looks only get people so far...you need to learn the fine art of conversation. It's how people communicate with each other, can be about anything, the weather, the drinks, the music, what sports do you like...ask questions that need a complete answer, not just a yes or no. Don't say "do you like the music", say "what kind of music do you like"? Do you have a friend you could practice with - maybe you could practice until you find yourself asking questions or making remarks that won't get a yes or no answer. Many of us were shy or still are, so don't give up hope at your age - good luck!
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
am i too arrogant
Posted: 5/22/2009 10:38:33 AM
I think you don't even know the meaning of the word arrogant; perhaps you should actually obtain a "graduate degree" or even a degree. Your self-description and your inability to spell and use appropriate grammar are a real give away...nothing to be arrogant about I'm afraid....
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What do guys mean when they say "cuddle"?
Posted: 4/30/2009 5:50:49 PM
Having read many profiles, it seems to me that lots of men say something similar to "I like to "cuddle" in front of the fireplace, while watching a movie or fill in the blank..." I understand physical touching, of course, but am curious as to what most men really mean when they say "cuddle"? I just don't particularly care for the word and would like some male perspective on this please. Thanks
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Suddenly Finding Myself Unattracted To Men My Own Age
Posted: 4/28/2009 7:25:26 PM
As previously stated, many older men are the ones "afraid of aging" and are on the hunt for the youngster to show off on their arm. I've seen it over and over and some of my friends have experienced it. But, in society's eyes, that is perfectly ok. So, what is the problem that a woman might want someone younger because she wants to have fun, enjoy activities, be child like instead of with some old codger who thinks "fun" is staying home "cuddling" (if I read that word one more time I will puke) in front of the tv. Life is way toooo short to spend it waiting for someone to understand the need to go and do. If the OP can find younger men who want to go out, more power to her, it is all about personal choice and I, for one, know exactly how she feels as I feel the same way! Here's to excitement, fun and living life to it's fullest Good luck OP
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Suddenly Finding Myself Unattracted To Men My Own Age
Posted: 4/25/2009 5:59:51 PM
My, my soooo defensive for someone who was "kind of joking". Sounds as if someone is jealous of women who find younger men attractive because they have some energy and are still interested in life. Some of us are not ready for the rocking chair yet! And by the way, it is spelled "pedophile" and looking for someone a few years younger than oneself does not classify a person as a pedophile, might want to look the word up now that it has been spelled correctly
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Suddenly Finding Myself Unattracted To Men My Own Age
Posted: 4/17/2009 11:37:22 PM
Oh my, can I relate to this topic! Men my age (a total generalization I admit) do not appeal to me at all most of the time. I feel that I have more interests in life than they do, i.e. I like to do things, travel, read, be involved in the world etc. So many men I meet that are my age are into the psychologist Jung's stages of life, they are settling and accepting old age and act it, embrace it, forget there is so much joy and life yet to be had. My advice in case you are interested: date younger men whom you find attractive, lively, interested in being alive (if you can find them). I have gone out with three men recently who were in my age range, it is by no means anything but a generalization but they were overweight, (and bragging about his 7 year old son!), just separated and horny, (yep, his actual words) and someone I have known for many years who has decided to practically give up on life because of heart problems. If you can find younger men who interest you and keep you feeling alive, by all means go for it! Men do it all the time and no one thinks anything about it! It is not about just being horny, it is about wanting a fulfilling relationship and to be with someone who values the time that is left and does not want to waste it on boring activities like watching tv or staying home and doing nothing day in and day out - barf! And hi Ms. moonbeam
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 142 (view)
 
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/10/2009 10:50:20 AM
I think there have been some really great suggestions here, but we are all individuals and what may work for one (writing about it for example - which is something I do) may not work for someone else. But if we try many of the suggestions and try really hard to keep active so that other thoughts and conversations are distracting us, it just may help. My worst time is when I am alone and the thoughts all come racing into my head and then my heart just hurts so bad...but I am overcoming it and moving forward each and every day. Good luck to everyone in moving on. Some can take the relationship with them forever and use it as a good thing, but for some, if the relationship was abusive, it needs to be let go or it will kill any chance of a healthy relationship in the future. JMO
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 134 (view)
 
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 8:00:24 AM
There is a type of hypno therapy called neurolinguistic programming (nlp) which can alleviate the pain associated with specific incidents. It can work wonders, depending on the situation. But for something that is extremely complex and involves years and years and multiple facets, it probably won't work. I highly recommend it for short-term relationships that don't span many years, I don't know why or how it works, but it just eliminates the pain when you think of that situation and that person, it truly is miraculous! And it only takes one session with a good nlp therapist- after a session or two of explanation. For some reason, even when we know we are better off without a "poison" person in our life, it still doesn't over rule the heart
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 127 (view)
 
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 3:15:36 PM

am still sleeping with him he dont like the thought of me being with some one
but he does like the idea that you will continue to be used by him...you need to stop the game for your sake and your kids sake and please get on with your life. I know how extremely painful life is but you need to love yourself and your kids and let that be your center, not someone who doesn't value you...
 
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