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 Author Thread: Strange compliments..
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Strange compliments..
Posted: 10/2/2011 10:43:17 PM
A guy came up to me when I was shopping and complimented me on my feet, it was summer so I had on sandals or flip flops. Another guy messaged me on myspace to tell me I have great posture. WTF? lol...
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Kissing on the first date?
Posted: 10/2/2011 9:27:02 PM
There is nothing wrong with waiting until the 2nd date or even longer for the first kiss. My SO didn't kiss me until I leaned over for a hug at the end of our 3rd date. I was in no way thinking he was gay,lol just shy.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 37 (view)
 
hey ladies chime in, can sexual chemistry develop for you over time?
Posted: 10/2/2011 8:35:58 PM
RockyDakota
Sexual attraction and physical attraction are the same thing. Women know within seconds on if they are going to sleep with a guy or not.


Not true, I can be instantly attracted to someone but not know if I would sleep with them until an emotional attraction develops. I am physically attracted to lots of men but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with them.


I started out as friends with my SO, I found him attractive from the first date but was not feeling the sexual "spark" until later.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
General Question about relationships and marriage
Posted: 9/26/2011 11:37:41 AM
My SO and I watch the show for entertainment purposes, not for relationship advice. I don't think you need to "take her off the market" after a year to be in a committed relationship.

As Abelian stated, "As far as ``taking a woman off the market goes,'' they're off the market or we aren't dating".

My So and I have been exclusive since 2 months into dating but the talk of marriage came much later. For reasons such as one of us relocating, finances etc, we are keeping it at the exclusive and committed to one another stage without any marriage plans for now.


I don't take Patti's advice seriously, she is single herself. Parts of her show were her planning her own wedding only to have it never happen.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How long/how much contact before meeting in real life?
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:15:46 PM
There are no rules, some women want to meet right away and others prefer to get to know more through email/messages before meeting in person. I personally never met anyone earlier than one or two weeks after the first message.

If the message contained little information and an invite for a date, I declined.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What sparks chemistry for you at first-meets?
Posted: 9/21/2011 5:40:06 PM
I agree with everything that sowrite has stated. I didn't have first meets either, the first date with my SO lasted from lunch until around 8pm. What really caught my attention was I wasn't feeling well and despite it being frowned upon, my kids were present for the 2nd half of our date.

While waiting for my sis and her boyfriend to get to my house to play cards my younger son was jumping on me on the couch. My date took over and let him jump all over him since he could see I was feeling worse as the night went on.

I would say I had interest in getting to know him more after our first date but sparks came later.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 113 (view)
 
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:25:25 PM
Yes, I know. Thanks!

I've never paid for our dates including the first one. I have cooked him meals and oh I almost forgot, I think I did buy pizza once.

Of course before we became really serious I understood some of his weekends would be spent at his house 2 hours away with his kids. If my kids are with their dad then my SO still usually doesn't bring his kids over that weekend. Sometimes we can't go out on weekends because of either both his and mine or just my kids being here. And sometimes we choose quiet nights without going out even when the kids are with the other parent. I can't always travel with him because of my kids but he wanted a woman with kids too.

His ex is remarried and doesn't expect him to pay her bills.lol She lives 4 hrs away and he wouldn't do house repairs for her. The most he has done is taken his boys bikes so he could fix them and then given them back to be used at her house.

Just because one guy was still doing things for his ex wife and claiming to be broke doesn't mean they all are.

I preferred dating a man with kids and even luckier my SO and mine became instant friends when they met.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 9/12/2011 11:54:59 AM
jnemeth0710
search through these forums you will see hundreds of dads with primary/majority /shared custody, you will find many dads with great family values and the time to love his family and the funds, time and desire to woo his woman too



I'm in a relationship with a man who has 3 kids and I have 2. I have not come across any of the problems stated above in the over two years we have been together. He finds the time for me including his kids coming over with him on the weekends he has them and even though he pays child support, he has some left over money to spoil me including bringing me flowers quite often just because.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 10:24:10 PM
Naadirah
Personal Choice, not an Obligation.

Another option, instead of helping with her expenses, paying her bills... maybe some thoughtful gifts or gestures that maybe she couldn't otherwise offord.



The OP's question reminds me of a STUPID statement my ex said to me when I hadn't even been dating the guy I'm with that long. ex,"Doesn't he help you pay the bills? NO! ex, Why not? " me, Because I wouldn't ask him to." ex, "Really, you mean you sleep with him for free?"

My SO only hands me over money if him and his kids have stayed at my house and he feels he should help pay for groceries or things like that. I pay my own bills and don't expect him to. He does pay for meals at restaurants and pays for my kids if they are along too. My mom babysits for us and my SO gives her money sometimes to help her out. None of this was when we first were dating though. We have been together over 2 years and have discussed if he minds paying for things. He makes considerably more than me and told me he wants to help me out.

He recently treated me and my kids and his to a stay at an expensive motel with a water park. We could of never afforded it on our own and it was a nice vacation with all of us together.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 40 (view)
 
how to bring up the open relationship in a present closed one
Posted: 9/10/2011 9:08:18 PM
I don't think it has anything to do with age, I'm 40 and have always only wanted monogamous relationships. I did not crave sex with other men even when my boyfriend was away at college and I was in my early 20's. I do not crave sex now with other men when my SO is away from me either. He lives 2 hours away and travels for work frequently.

Some people can separate sex and love and think they NEED sex. I only WANT sex with someone I have an emotional attachment with. It's usually understood at the beginning of a relationship if the two people have similar views about sex. To all of a sudden change things would very likely end the relationship. However, if she is feeling this way it should end anyway.


VelmaValento
"the physical contact" I miss is physical contact with HIM. I have no interest in "physical contact", i.e., sex, with just anyone just for the sake of it. So my impression is that you do not "really love" your partner. IMHO, if you love someone, you do not crave physical closeness or intimacy with anyone else.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
long distance relationships
Posted: 9/9/2011 11:02:08 PM
lowen

it doesnt seem like it would be as hard to get over someone who was never physically here...



I understand the feeling and then you wonder if you are crazy for being so hurt over someone you never met. It does get better with time.

At first I was jealous of his other relationships and didn't want to hear about them but now I am happy he has found someone. He quit seeing the married woman and actually met someone else online in another country, they are now married to each other.

Sometimes long distance relationships do work out but 3 years is too much time to continue one without ever meeting in person.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
long distance relationships
Posted: 9/9/2011 10:43:39 PM
I had a relationship with a man overseas for less than this amount of time but it still devastated me when he chose a married woman who was closer. Our friendship started out as emotional support for one another going through our troubled relationships and grew into more. We would spend hours at the computer writing each other. He talked of moving to the USA to be with me and how he loved me, etc. The difference is he never deleted me from his life. We are still in contact to this day. We understood it was impossible to be together and moved on. It did take some time to get over but the best thing to do is to get out and enjoy meeting people in real life. Don't sit at home alone feeling sorry for yourself. Get out and have fun and in time you will rarely think of this man anymore.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
how to bring up the open relationship in a present closed one
Posted: 9/9/2011 9:49:23 PM
^^ I was thinking the same thing. If my SO ever suggested that, the relationship would be over. Sometimes we have to be apart for a few weeks and I wish he was closer but I never think of getting physical contact with someone else.


If you are having these feelings you should tell your boyfriend and maybe it's time to move on. It would be cheating if you were to go behind his back but if he actually agrees to an open relationship then it is not.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 2:56:48 PM
OP
Or how far are you willing to go in miles? I know that when I do a search, I mormally do under 50 miles. But once in awhile will stretch it to 100.



When I joined dating sites, I listed "not looking for a long distance relationship" on one and chose "50 miles or less" on another. My SO wrote to me despite my preference and I decided he was worth the time apart.

He lives approximately 2 hours away and does most of the traveling to see me. When he isn't working he stays at my house and if he is, he leaves for work from my house on Mondays. When possible I travel out of state with him on business trips.


We have been together over 2 years. He used to joke 100 miles wasn't long distance to him. Even though we can't see each other as often as we would like sometimes, he considers the distance medium.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Relationships & Texting
Posted: 8/30/2011 10:44:54 AM
scottey63
If refusing to text puts me in the stone age, so be it. Texting has led to miscommunication, not to mention the proliferation of "textspeak", most of which is gibberish to me.



My SO and I only text when it's the only way to communicate such as when he is traveling to other countries and there is a big time difference. I HATE texting, it takes me forever to type out a sentence. We also found out earlier in our relationship there can be too many misunderstandings when emailing. Now if we have something important to discuss we wait until it can be done in person or at the very least on the phone. But face to face is better.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Snuggle?
Posted: 8/29/2011 7:22:08 PM
Sisyphus76
No matter how into a chick I am, there will be nights of only sleeping. There likely won't be any nights were we don't cuddle before going to sleep.



My man likes to cuddle too and not just after sex. We like to snuggle up close while watching TV or before going to sleep. We even SLEPT together before we were having sex. He wasn't trying to get sex right away or cuddling too much. He is a hand holder which took a little getting used to. I like to snuggle and wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a man who didn't like affection except for sex.

Personally I don't see listing snuggling in a profile as creepy but we all have our preferences so best just to move on.

I don't remember if my boyfriend had snuggling listed on his dating profile where we met but I copied this from his interests on POF.

"Cuddling with my SO"

Having cuddling/snuggling on a profile would not of been a turn off to me. Unless it was listed under "first date" then that would be creepy. A guy who listed sex as an interest was one I would pass on though.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 139 (view)
 
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/21/2011 10:38:56 AM
^^Not all men with NPD characteristics are bad boys. My ex was controlling and manipulative after marriage but he was a virgin when we met. Quiet, not very social, never wanted to go out with me after we married, he turned into a hermit. Complete opposite of a bad boy but still a jerk.lol

sensualseekerns

As I said before there is a big difference between narcissistic behaviors and actual narcissists. The latter rarely see and problem with their behavior because they do not want to change. The more that their behavior benefits them, the more the resistance to change seems reinforced in their mind. There are also very different levels of narcissism. Some are anti-social, most are not but are indeed self-serving, and do not like their views on themselves to be challenged.

In the end anyone who realizes they need to change, will try enough times that they usually succeed.




Not saying my ex is a narcissist because I have no proof but he certainly has a lot of the traits. He didn't think he needed to change because everything is my fault.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Asking for cupsize.
Posted: 8/18/2011 10:39:41 AM
BigSpoon80
Yeah agreed he is a perv and looking for some type of gratification. Block him and move on. Never had a conversation with a woman that led to discussing cup size unless we were in a shop looking specifically for bras.



LOL, true. My SO wanted to know my size ONLY so he could buy me some bras as a gift. Asking someone their cup size before you even meet is beyond rude. Ignore him and move on.


OP
he said he wasnt after a quick nookie session but then he asked for my cup size, i ignore the question and said something else,now he asked me again,



You should of ignored HIM and moved on with the first request. By continuing to talk with him you are only encouraging his behavior.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Asking for cupsize.
Posted: 8/18/2011 9:43:23 AM
hudsonview10960
I can't imagine any situation where someone asking for your cup size is going to be a good match for anyone. Sounds crude and low class to me.



I agree, he is not worth your time. Someone who wants to get to know you does NOT insist on knowing your cup size.

Stop talking to this man, he is being rude and immature.



edit to add: OP, you are using up your 21 posts. You can edit your 1st answer for 15 minutes.


Not all guys are rude and immature, just keep looking until you find one who treats you with respect.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 23 (view)
 
I don't want a relationship between equals. There, I said it.
Posted: 8/17/2011 9:23:02 PM
commonsens reloaded
To be equal doesn't mean to be identical, or to keep scores, far from it!

Each partner simply have equal saying and desicional power on all aspect that rule the couple; equal as both can voice and stand their grounds, respect and be respected. There is no submissive and no dominant.

A woman can be feminine, do nothing masculine and still be the equal of her male partner and virce versa!

In a complementary couple, both have very different tasks within the couple, but both have the same importance as they are half of that couple.



I actually liked the first answer by commonsens.

My ex would keep score and even say he babysit our kids for me so I should do something for him. If he did the dishes for me then I owed him. He would scream at me if I disagreed with him but tell me I had no right to yell. It was NOT an equal partnership.

My SO and I do not keep scores, he does things for me because he wants to and I do the same. Sometimes he cooks and sometimes I do but we are not keeping track of who's turn it is. When there is a misunderstanding or problem we discuss it calmly together until it is resolved. I think this is what is meant by treating each other as an equal and I want that kind of relationship.

casper66
I view equality in that I'm treated with respect and not looked down on or treated differently just because I am a woman, that I'm not expected to do all the housework just because thats woman's work..ect. To me a relationship is all about companionship, compromise and balance, sort of a ying/yang thing, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, the trick is finding that other person who compliments us.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Have you ever been into someone before you met in person?
Posted: 8/16/2011 12:52:40 PM
Yes but we have never met because he lives in England over 3000 miles away. He talked of moving to the USA but I told him we had to meet in person first. Long story short, we both moved on.


I felt a strong connection to my now SO but we had to wait for our first date about 2 weeks but emailed each other every day.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Hiding important info
Posted: 8/16/2011 12:18:30 PM
MsMuscleChick
RED FISH ~ you are lucky. And seriously if someone would judge you over that? Hell with them. Again, it is the people with major crimes, lies and nonsense that get me pissed.


Exactly, I guess I haven't been on enough first dates or meets to run into the crazy stuff. I wouldn't consider 1 DUI a deal breaker. And yes I was extremely lucky the cop didn't make me spend the night in jail.

mrmisterme
DWI is different from DUI, folks.
I don't see why people should be telling this to others before they meet. Should this also include parking and speeding fines?


^^^I had just looked up the difference between DUI and DWI but either way one offense would not be a deal breaker for me and would not even be brought up in conversation on a first date or meet as some of you like to have.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Hiding important info
Posted: 8/16/2011 11:54:39 AM
Tac Jeff

It is happening more and more. Some people get DWIs for very little in their system and they made mistakes. It doesn't make them liars or horrible people, it just means they made mistakes, got caught, and are paying the consequence for them.



I was pulled over for drunk driving once and failed all the tests except the breathalyzer. The cop wouldn't believe me that I only had 4 beer and thought I was on drugs too. It was freezing cold, I was nervous and even the cop was making mistakes explaining the tests. I had stopped at 3 drinks but then the bar owner gave everyone a free one, I drank it quite fast since it was almost closing time. The cop said even though I passed the breathalyzer, he could still take me in for impaired driving but I was around the corner from my house. It was a stupid mistake that cost me over $100 for a speeding ticket, it could of been much worse.


Most of my friends and my SO know the story but I don't tell everyone I meet I could of been arrested for drinking and driving. I haven't met many people from online but I don't think that subject usually comes up and one guy I dated is a sheriff. I've seen him drink and drive too.

singleguy

I dare you to show up at a first meet without any makeup, boob enhancing bra, hair extensions, fake lashes & nails, etc. so the guy knows what he's really getting.....


I did because I never wear makeup or use false nails or lashes. I've never had hair extensions and I doubt I was wearing a push up bra either.lol
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What is the rebound girl?
Posted: 8/16/2011 11:24:10 AM
When I met a guy who was separated, he would talk about NEVER going back to his ex but I could tell he wasn't over her. He even wrote a love poem. I told him I didn't want to be the 'rebound girl' but he reassured me I wasn't. He even tried turning it around and saying he might be my 'rebound guy'. Not from my divorce which was years ago but a man I had seen a few times. The signs were clearly there but I ignored them, he was smitten with me right away, being confused and talking about his ex, disappearing BUT he came back. I guess I was his rebound girl twice.lol

After approximately 2 weeks of no communication he asked to see me again which I foolishly agreed to. He acted strange when I tried sitting next to him. I asked why so distant and he claimed he was just tired. We slept together that night which wasn't the first time but the next day I received a message saying he still had deep feelings for his ex and none for me. He told me we could take things slow and date once in awhile and sex didn't have to be a part of it but I never seen him again. Our dating including the 2 week disappearance was about 2 months.


A few months later I met another separated guy and didn't want to be the 'rebound girl' again. I gave him a chance to prove I wasn't the 'rebound girl' and this guy was over his ex and had been separated for at least 6 months. It took quite awhile before I wasn't worried about him disappearing suddenly. We are still together today, over 2 years later.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Dumped By Facebook
Posted: 8/15/2011 12:31:44 PM
CarpeOmnia


Yes...that was a chicken-shit way to do things, that's for sure. She could have ended it when you asked her whether she wanted to. You gave her the opportunity.

Sounds like something a 16 year old would do.

I found out a guy I was dating(and felt very strongly for)....no longer wanted to date me when he changed his POF profile back to "looking" again. I had just driven back 3 hours from seeing him. The date we'd just had was as fun as it always was. Would have been nice to have learned this face to face...or even over the phone since distance was involved.
...and he is 50. Age has nothing to do with maturity and strength.



I was dating a 40 year old guy for 2 months. On our final date he was acting distant but reassured me he was just tired and had a headache. He initiated sex later that evening and I thought everything was fine. The next day he sent me a MYSPACE message to tell me he still had deep feelings for his ex wife and NONE for me. He said we could date once in awhile but not as often as I was acting too serious. He had told me all along he wasn't ready for a serious relationship but nothing had changed. We would spend the weekend together and go out with my friends or play cards at my house. He also said sex didn't have to be part of it anymore. I never went out with him again.

He had also disappeared for approximately 2 weeks after getting in a car accident. He would hardly even reply to my messages. When he finally did he said he needed time to think about things but then wanted to see me again. Things seemed to be going great until the myspace message. I wished he could of at least been honest the night before when he was at my house and I asked what was wrong.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Should Bert & Ernie get married?.
Posted: 8/15/2011 12:13:11 PM
stargazer1000
I guess this is no less pointless a discussion than the televangelist who condemned a Teletubby for being "gay" because it carried a purse!


^^That was my son's favorite show until he was about 4 or 5. He was too young to understand gay from straight and it was just as pointless of an argument as making Bert and Ernie get married.

The kids watching these shows are too young to understand any of this PC nonsense that adults bring into it.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Should Bert & Ernie get married?.
Posted: 8/15/2011 11:53:31 AM
Bladesmith81801

Um, per the SS people themselves, and Jim Henson (back when he was alive), Bert and Ernie are NOT gay, and were never meant to be. They are FRIENDS. They are meant to show that two entirely different people with different views can be and remain friends, and thats ALL.



I grew up watching Sesame Street and thought of Bert and Ernie as just friends. I doubt anyone intended for them to be a gay couple and kids don't care about this PC crap.


My kids would rather watch Spongebob and other nonsense shows. Are Patrick and Spongebob gay too? lol
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Sex on the first date?
Posted: 8/10/2011 5:14:01 PM
stray cat
Well Red Fish, none of that applies as to sex on a first date.



Yes I know, I don't enjoy casual sex so would never have 1st date sex. Had a drunken one night stand ONCE too.


The guys I slept with were not the best the first time but it didn't make me lose interest.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How cute am I?
Posted: 8/10/2011 1:46:51 PM
MissStackhouse
I thought it was a compliment...who knew?


I agree! I refer to guys as cute all the time. A cute, attractive face is the first thing I notice.

So it's not a compliment when a guy calls me cute either?


I have called guys cute because of their actions too but only if I find them physically attractive also.


OP, I can't tell if you are cute from your two pics posted.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
The Remaking of Dirty Dancing
Posted: 8/10/2011 12:42:54 PM
I don't really see it as a disservice but usually movie remakes are not as good as the original.


I wouldn't pay to see it but if absolutely nothing else is on TV, I might watch it.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How tall does one have to be in order to be considered tall?
Posted: 8/10/2011 12:01:48 PM
I would say you are of average height. Tall to me is over 6ft. Not all women want a tall man. I was attracted to men under 6ft but my SO is at least 6ft 3.

Most women do not put height at the top of a list as a deciding factor when determining who they will date.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Sex on the first date?
Posted: 8/9/2011 10:35:32 PM
stray cat
Sometimes....first times....are not the best.



Nay, To me sex is not the most important aspect of a good relationship. I don't want to sleep with someone right away then discover we have nothing in common.

Sex with emotional closeness is more enjoyable to me no matter how long it lasts. Besides I don't see 15 minutes as being that bad.lol
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What happens when someone hides their profile and they're on you favs?
Posted: 8/9/2011 9:53:12 PM
^^ What he said!

My SO is the only one on my favorites list and it makes it easy to get to his profile. I mostly go there once in awhile to see if he has posted new pics of us. I've never checked to see if I could search it as I TRUST him. Without trust you will never keep a relationship for long.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Are there any real women out there?
Posted: 8/9/2011 8:41:49 PM
Just because ONE woman turned out to be a flake doesn't make ALL women the same.


What kind of date is walking around the mall? Did she expect you to purchase things for her too?
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Did we spend messaging too much before the meet & greet?
Posted: 8/9/2011 4:38:28 PM
VelmaValento
If you are suggesting that talking to someone a lot before meeting somehow kills the chemistry when you meet, that's ridiculous.

What happens is that people can really click when they are messaging or talking, but have not met in the flesh. Then they meet in the flesh and that physical chemistry is not there. It hasn't been killed because they talked a lot. It just isn't there and never was going to be there, if they had met in person within the first day of meeting on line. It just isn't there.




I met someone from another country through a different forum and we became instant pen pals. There was a strong connection but long story short we have not met in person. We are still in contact but both in relationships. He is married to a woman he met online and I am in a relationship with a man I met online as well. Who knows what would of happened to our imagined chemistry if we had met in person while single.


I agree, emailing and chatting on the phone does not ruin the chemistry. My SO and I emailed for 2 weeks. I preferred to get to know someone a little before meeting in person. Because of circumstances we had to wait past the one week when he originally asked if I wanted to meet for lunch. We emailed several times a day.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Do you ladies watch the male drama shows that are on the History channel?
Posted: 8/9/2011 11:32:17 AM
MissStackhouse

Me, too. I also like that Hollywood auction show...I forgot the name of it though...



Maybe you are referring to Storage Wars or Storage Hunters. Different channels but similar shows, I watch both.

I like Lizard Lick Towing but not all the similar copy shows. And the new program, Vegas Strip on TrueTV.


Chumley adds to the interest for watching Pawn Stars. I like to see the unusual items though too.


And edit for my 1st reply: The show is American Restoration, a spin off from Pawn Stars.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
I Hate the Size Chart when you are Searching and the word Average
Posted: 8/9/2011 10:31:46 AM
I typed out an answer for an 'ask a guy' thread about curvy women only to be blocked because it had hit 21 replies so I brought up this thread. Most old threads on this subject have been closed for being redundant but I could find very few that weren't locked at 21 replies.


I'm not searching but thought for those who are, they should include a few more choices.

I changed my body type listed awhile back from thin to average. I was thin in high school but still had a defined waist. I have put on a few pounds since then and when I complain about looking fat, my bf calls me curvy. Is that his nice way of not telling the truth? lol Could be, but I do still have a waist as opposed to being round.


It's best just to post full length pictures than to rely on their descriptive words.


paddy o lantern
The easiest solution to the body description problem would be for people to post a full body picture of themselves in form fitting clothing as thier main picture and then the person viewing your profile picture could determine if they like your body type or not. A picture is worth far more than any description.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Curious about distance
Posted: 8/8/2011 9:41:20 PM
On another dating site I chose the 50 miles and under preference. However, it did not block people farther away from messaging me. I wasn't looking for a long distance relationship and in one profile even stated that. My SO took the chance with the 50 mile preference and wrote to me anyway. He lives approximately 100 miles or a two hour drive away.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Should I end the 2 year relationship over this?
Posted: 8/8/2011 8:33:08 PM
JeetKuneDo
Not everyone comes on here to date other people. For me I only here for the forums. Besides his profile states he's single not looking.



I joined this site after I was in an exclusive relationship with my SO. I only signed up to participate in the forums but copied most of my 'about me' from another dating site profile I have since deleted. I still like to add interests from time to time. I update photos and since they all include my bf, it's just like another social networking site to me.


OP, if the trust isn't there, no amount of talks will bring it back. Even though it will be difficult after two years together, it is best to end it now.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Do you ladies watch the male drama shows that are on the History channel?
Posted: 8/8/2011 8:18:12 PM
I enjoy watching Pawn Stars, American Pickers and Rick's Restoration but more so when my bf is here to watch the shows with me.


Billy the Exterminator is a good show too but it's not on the History channel. As well as some of the reality shows on TrueTV, especially World's Dumbest.


vvv I met a few guys from Hardcore Pawn while in Detroit a week or so ago. They are really friendly and posed for pictures with me and my boyfriend. I added one of the guys on FB too. I've got more of an interest in the show since being there, it's more about the drama between sibling and customers also. However, all was calm on our visit.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Should I end the 2 year relationship over this?
Posted: 8/8/2011 4:00:44 PM
If the trust is gone so is the relationship.


No, it is not common behavior unless it is an open relationship.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 31 (view)
 
How quickly could you enter into a committed relationship.....??
Posted: 8/8/2011 12:04:06 PM
Lint Spotter
I have a problem with people feeling that exclusive and committed are the same thing in a relationship.

I will date a man exclusively, to determine if he's worth the time and effort to establish a committment.

Love at first sight... nah, I've fallen in lust a few times, and developed crushes on guys... but love takes time and knowing the other person to develop.



I only date one man at a time. I become exclusive as soon as I meet someone I am interested in getting to know better and they feel the same way. I waited 2 months to ask my BF if he was dating others but we basically were exclusive all along.


To be committed as far as ready for marriage takes more time.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/7/2011 5:18:12 PM
1ukn4u
he nearly pulled my head off my shoulders. Literally. It was an accident. He left no marks or bruises. He saw something that he viewed as a threat and reacted. Now maybe it was something simple or something you weren't aware of and I'm sure your ex seemed somewhat normal in some ways. I'm willing to bet you were being very emotional and were interrupting something he viewed as very important or you put your hands on him first and he reacted. What I'm saying is you hit some sort of unknown trigger. If he meant to abuse or injure you make no mistake about it he could have and would have. Again I could be way off here. Just my opinions.



Ok, you're the expert, you win.


 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/7/2011 3:21:41 PM
sensualseekerns
Your wounds are still evident miss. What I think the last poster says is valid. If you are not dealing with a good therapist that specialized in these kind of situations, then you should. For your health and the health of those who depend on you.



Thanks!

I don't deny the emotional scars are still there but luckily I don't have to deal with my ex too often. What bothers me though is the way he STILL talks about me to the children. No amount of therapy would stop him and at least my children are smart enough to see through it.

Since my ex claimed I was crazy, we by court order all had to be evaluated by a psychologist and he didn't find out anything I hadn't already known. My ex is too authoritative, not affectionate etc. I was told I was co dependent and would jump into another bad relationship but I waited years before even dating again.


These evaluations were done individually but FOC had us come to meetings together. They could see the way he wouldn't let me explain my side and EVERYTHING was my fault.


Maybe he's a Narcissist and maybe not but the only thing that mattered was our personalities are not compatible. And even though he tells me I'm the unstable one and can't have a lasting relationship, he has NOT had a relationship since. Which from what I've read, is one trait unlike most people with NPD.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Have you ever received hate mail because of a forum post?
Posted: 8/6/2011 5:43:40 PM
So far I've only received positive messages. I would say just to ignore it.



vv Exactly!
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/6/2011 4:51:10 PM
1ukn4u
I'm willing to bet you were being very emotional and were interrupting something he viewed as very important or you put your hands on him first and he reacted. What I'm saying is you hit some sort of unknown trigger. If he meant to abuse or injure you make no mistake about it he could have and would have. Again I could be way off here. Just my opinions.



I'm one of the few who admitted my ex was never diagnosed as a Narcissist but for some reason you chose me as an example. Your assumptions are completely wrong, you are way off. It would take too long to write everything down and I don't feel it's necessary to participate in this thread.

Why people come on the forums and criticize others for believing they might have been involved with a Narc is beyond me. Why not leave those of us who think we may of to reply? And for your information, to say I was asking for it is absurd. I was trying to sleep when my ex made a bruise on my inner thigh because I wouldn't have sex with him. He grabbed me in this area other times and then would laugh. It was abuse but not hitting. He also threatened with fist raised to hit me once to knock some sense into me. I didn't share his opinion on something and he is ALWAYS right.



She realizes it's not his fault and it's fixable and tries and get back with him causing more damage in the process.



And I don't care if he is one or not, there is no way in Hell I would go back to him.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Are Good little white financial lies okay?
Posted: 8/5/2011 2:29:19 PM
OP
So I began to take steps to avoid that. I'd do things like lower my listed income catagory on here, underplay what my job pays if asked in a message or date, avoid mentioning secondary income sources, etc.



If a woman asked what you do for a living that is an appropriate question but to ask what your income is shows proof she is ALL about the money. I've usually been told what a guy does for a living without even asking but I've never asked his income. Even after dating for 2 years I haven't came right out and asked my SO what he makes. A few things have been shared through conversations but I wouldn't feel it was my business to ask. Especially before even meeting.

You are right those are the women you won't miss. I'm not sure if I agree with lying about your income though. However, I don't really think it should be on a dating site to begin with.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Would you date a man/woman who doesnt have money?
Posted: 8/5/2011 1:06:31 PM
tdh49
I would have no problem with it at all. I usually pay for dates anyway so it really would not come into play that much. On special occasions she could make me something instead of buying me a present, that would make the present much more special to me.



I'm answering this for my SO since we have had this discussion in the past. He said he doesn't mind paying for things as he works full time and I don't. He also has told me he appreciates the fact I'm careful not to overspend. If we go out to eat I don't buy the most expensive item on the menu just because he's paying. I'm careful with my money and buy most things on sale. I buy shirts sometimes for him if I see a good sale. If he invites me to travel with him which is usually work related and paid for, he knows he will be covering my extra expenses as well.


If I was frivolously spending my money and his or expecting him to pay my bills I'm sure it would become a problem.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Abuse: Recognizing NARCISSISTIC partners and knowing when to call it quits -- DO IT EARLY!
Posted: 8/5/2011 12:35:39 PM
OP
First off, the narcissist will never ever admit they may have a problem, they will in fact turn everything around and make everything about you and your downfalls. There will be a lot blame, finger pointing, controlling, and manipulating you into believing your are nothing and they are in fact, the best you could ever possibly have. On the inside they feel this is not the case, but they need to convince you and they are very good at that.



I had never even heard of a Narcissist until after my divorce. But I always described my ex as acting like he is God's gift to the world but with an inferiority complex. It never made sense until I read up on these disorders. He has never been diagnosed so I can't say for certain he is one but he definitely fits the description.
 red fish gf
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
For the ladies...
Posted: 8/4/2011 1:20:33 PM
Forums brought me to POF and it's the forums that keep me here. Unless the forums completely die out, I plan on staying.


I did meet my SO on another dating site though. I joined them more out of curiosity then ever expecting to meet someone.
 
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