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 Author Thread: Use of the word 'girl'?
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Use of the word 'girl'?
Posted: 6/11/2016 10:51:07 AM
The word girls is not equivolent to guys. Girls=boys. Gals=guys.

Girls is used to refer to a young (minor) female human. Most women (adult female humans) don't really like it when someone else refers to us as "girls"...especially if there is no close relationship. My group of lady friends often use "girls" in reference to our group, as in "girls' night" or "the girls got together". For some reason it's only offensive if an outsider uses the same terminology.

Female is another one of those that I object to. It's a descriptor of gender, and fairly objectifying and dehumanizing as it can be applied to non-humans of all varieties. It's a scientific term. Clinical. I definitely bristle when someone uses it in a similar context as "do any females like it when..." or "are any females up for...", and I see it a lot on other forums.

Here it's "Ask a Girl", FL has "Ask a Female"...both allow men to answer.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Gentleman in the Streets, Beast in the Sheets
Posted: 5/16/2016 4:31:32 PM

you just weren't born in the 1950's.

Not necessarily. My former partner was born in the 1980's and is a wonderful gentleman in public, and a complete animal in private.

I think what you're looking to say here is look for a man who is invested and interested in making his partner happy. Someone who listens, pays attention, and thrives on pleasing.


but a gentleman on the streets has likely been taught to not sexually harass a woman anywhere else.

There is a massive difference between sexually harassing a woman, and being a primal animal in the bedroom. Like...not even related at all.


I'm not sure how many aggressive, go-get-'em men are into anime,

Probably more than you realize.


but i'm thinking you might not find many at a convention--the ones I've met, dream more than they do.

I know dozens of geeks/nerds into kink...DREAMERS dream...DOERS do.


stereotypically speaking, the guy who is old fashioned might be more at car shows and hunting lodges and other places that are manly but not macho, if you catch my drift?

My 1980-something friend has done car shows, street racing, poker games, played WoW for years...and can throw down in the bedroom unlike any other man I know.

My 1980-something boyfriend has grown up in a hunting culture, is extremely old-fashioned when it comes to a lot of things, volunteers for all manner of social causes...while he's a fabulous lover, he doesn't have the aggression or authority I crave on occasion.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Drawing out a break up
Posted: 5/2/2016 6:59:21 AM
Material things can be replaced.

Why subject yourself to this? You're continuing to allow her to control the relationship/interaction you have with her.

If what she is holding onto has sentimental value to you, then go through legal means to have it returned (small claims court?).
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Sex Injuries
Posted: 4/29/2016 12:04:38 PM
I severely bruised my tongue frenum one time. Upside down, aggressive, face f*ck and his penis slipped under my tongue (instead of over my tongue) for two hard thrusts and at first I thought he'd torn it as there was a fairly distinct taste of blood in my mouth. The pictures are squick worthy. It was the end of the blowjob.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
My Assessment of the Psychic / Intuitive
Posted: 4/9/2016 7:34:14 AM

I'm curious to know what you think of people who claim to have these abilities.

People know things that can't always be explained. Some refer to it as "gut instinct" when it's not focused or well-developed. I stopped listening to my "gut instinct" years ago and it caused a LOT of problems for me. I listen more closely now.


Do people use it as a coping mechanism for fear?

Fear? As in self-preservation? Sure, I'm certain some do.


Do you think they use it as a way to explain what most would consider an ADD/HD type of condition?

How so?


Obviously I'm a skeptic - I won't outright deny that some psychic abilities may exist - but I don't think this group of desperate dating housewives all share the exact same magical power. I also don't believe that exercising this psychic 'muscle' helps in ANY way to keep a current relationship running. At a certain point, it's a distraction, not a direction.

I've gotten quite good at filtering out people that I don't feel would be a good match for me. I don't go all woo-woo on them, but I definitely listen to my instincts.

I am empathic to degree. I don't see auras like many that I know, but I feel a person's vibration. The whole world vibrates (energy) to me, and sometimes the vibrations are off...not their usual/normal pattern or frequency. I can't explain it anymore than that. Oddly enough, I can't get a read on my partner, and he can't get a read on me.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
do all men struggle to get messages / replys on POF ???
Posted: 4/8/2016 7:53:44 AM
Some people get a lot of messages. Some people don't.

I wouldn't respond to you because you seem c*cky and arrogant and that is unappealing to me.

*waits for the "you don't count because you're old, fat, and ugly" response that usually happens*
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Asking a girl out on a date: direct or subtle approach?
Posted: 3/25/2016 5:43:16 PM
You have her number? Use it...most folks say to call, I'd be ok with a text.

Adding her to FB isn't the same as showing someone interest in them, unless you only add people to your FB that you want to have sex with. Do you do that? No? Then....call her...text her....ask her out.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Marital Status Not Single/Not Looking?
Posted: 3/25/2016 11:40:54 AM
I'm not single/not looking (or whatever the latest version of that is). I also explain in my profile's first line that I'm only here for the forums. In another dating site profile my first paragraph simply states I'm in an open relationship, that I'm happily involved and not looking for anything...I'm not adverse if I find something (meaning something lands at my feet that is interesting and works for all the people involved).

You'd be surprised at how many people get mad at that...especially if I tell them I'm not interested in having sex with them. It's the not interested in having sex part that often raises some pretty large eyebrows. I get a lot of hatred spewed at me for it. I just don't respond.

I'm not hiding anything from anyone. My partners (yes, more than one) know I'm on the dating sites. Everyone is aware of my activities on them. I'm very clear that I'm not looking for sex or to add to my dance card. Transparency...I haz it. *grins*
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Love in Memoriam
Posted: 3/21/2016 3:57:58 PM

When you start dating a guy, and he comes across your stash of dating memorabilia, you know like...pictures of you and him...love letters to or from him, rings from a broken engagement...etc. This is clearly something that may introduce insecurity and he does let you it's a issue that you're clinging to it... do you get rid of it...or him ???

My mother made a comment when I hung pictures up in my house that contained images of the ex husband. She made a point of saying "You'll have to take those down when you start bringing dates home." I responded with "Any man that dates me will have to be ok with the pictures being there. The man in those pictures is the father of my children, and this is their house just as much as it is mine." So far no man I've had here has had a problem with it.

Oh...and any man that dared to say I was still hung up on the ex because of it wouldn't be around for long.

My mother destroyed every picture of my father when their relationship was over. I didn't know what he looked like until I was 17.

My wedding ring is still in my ring holder. Somewhere I think I still have the correspondence exchanged between the ex and I...or I might have burned it last year. I purged a bunch of stuff (mostly cards)...and I might have gotten rid of the letters and stuff too.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
So I have a Question Cuckolding Do woman like it??
Posted: 3/21/2016 3:41:11 PM


Fact remains and pretty good percentage of cuckolded men are actually very successful alpha types in the world...

That doesn't surprise me too much. There does seem to be a correlation between bosses who have lousy sexual / romantic relationships at home and being an over bearing boss at work...

While I don't doubt that, don't feed into a stereotype. Judge people based on who they are, not what group they fall into.

There are a lot of men interested in cuckolding that are strong, passionate, dedicated lovers who happen to get off on the idea of their woman being with another man...either in front of them, or without them being present. They also aren't d*ckheads at work.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Help
Posted: 3/21/2016 7:47:55 AM

Hahahaha
Wish this wasn't in Ask A Girl because the 21 posts will not be enough entertainment.

Right?!?!?!?!

Over stimulation/overly sensitive following orgasm is a thing some people deal with. First time it happens it is definitely confusing, and some folks simply just don't enjoy that.

My partners are sadistic evil **stards when it comes to that kind of thing...and they take advantage of it. Lol..and for the record, neither is above average.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Cunnilingus and Procreating (Mature Content)
Posted: 3/21/2016 7:40:58 AM

Raising a family the proper way; raising kids to be good people, not being
abusive, and being able to provide and sticking it out with your spouse
so they don't have the potential trauma that a lot of kids go through
these days of being raised in a broken home.

Huh.

Divorce doesn't mean broken home. Not all divorces are traumatic things for children to go through.

I am divorced because my exhusband is an abusive a$$hole who physically and mentally abused one of our spawn. He asked for the divorce before I did. While I mourned the loss of the family dream, I know that my spawn and I are MUCH better off not being in a marriage that was bad. I don't miss him and my spawn have had an amazing upbringing...not on drugs, no alcohol, no sexual activity, not in trouble with the law....I'll call that a win.

"Sticking it out with your spouse" is what I did for probably 18 months longer than necessary. It's how my spawn ended up with a handprint on their face.

"Sticking it out with your spouse" is how my great-aunt ended up with black eyes.

"Sticking it out with your spouse" is how many folks end up dead...it's not something to aspire to.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Cunnilingus and Procreating (Mature Content)
Posted: 3/20/2016 6:34:40 AM

Carrying on my family name

I once was engaged to a man who is the last one in his family to carry on the family name. The pressure put on him to have a SON was intense.

He called off our wedding, shacked up with the girl from the bar he'd been cheating on me with, and they got married. She forced him to have a vasectomy after their second daughter was born.

While his lineage carries on, his name dies with him. I laugh every day about this...lol.


and raising a family the proper way and providing is far more important than anything else to me... more than career, more than that fleeting exciting feeling you have at the beginning of a relationship.

Raising a family the proper way...care to elaborate on what that means?


Do you think people back in the 20s and 30s who met one week and got married the next really had time to fall in love in that time? No but that generation still had better family values in most cases and they were usually able to stick it out and raise a good family a lot better than future generations would, right?

Not better values...there was a LOT of infidelity happening...usually because they were unhappy in their marriages, and there was such a negative stigma attached to divorce that many stayed in unhappy/unhealthy relationships because that is what was expected of them.

I have a great-aunt that stayed in an abusive marriage...because divorce was not an option. Please...do try to romanticize that into something good...because I can't.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Sex! I am old fashioned and women dont like Taking things slow
Posted: 3/19/2016 2:42:16 PM

[Quote]It's just an incompatibility issue.[/Quote]
Please explain further!

Simple...they want sex and you don't. Incompatible.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why do women get bored after first or second message
Posted: 3/18/2016 6:35:27 AM
I won't meet until I'm ready to. That takes time. Anyone not willing to wait for me to be comfortable is not someone I want to be with.

I don't share personal information until I'm comfortable. That's a self-preservation move. It greatly reduces the amount of bullsh*t that I have to deal with.

Also, you're complaining in the Sex and Dating forum about women wanting sex too quickly, but here it's that they aren't sharing information with you, won't meet, won't talk on the phone.

I've been online on dating sites for years, mostly for different reasons...I can tell you that genuinely good conversation is difficult to find. I judge people on their ability to communicate well...and I'd probably lose interest in you quickly based on what I've seen so far.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Sex! I am old fashioned and women dont like Taking things slow
Posted: 3/18/2016 6:27:55 AM
It's just an incompatibility issue.

Many women can say the same thing about many men rushing them into having sex.

Move at your own pace. Anyone interested in more with you will wait.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
So I have a Question Cuckolding Do woman like it??
Posted: 3/17/2016 6:46:39 AM

So my question is very simple, do woman like cuckholding?

Yes...there are women interested in, and seeking this kind of relationship.

There are also women who are NOT interested in or seeking this kind of relationship.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Sending an introductory message:
Posted: 3/11/2016 6:47:30 AM

"Good morning (her name),
If you are interested in having a relationship with me, you may notify me at your own convenience. If you are not interested because my profile makes me look weird, please feel free to inform me on this so I can explain or fix it. Otherwise don't feel obligated to write me back. According to your own profile, I have successfully matched the requirements including many interests in common and would be delighted to give you a try. Alternatively, we may get to know each other first. Thank you for your time, and have a good day. "

Um. No.

While it's polite, uses full words and punctuation, doesn't set off any bad grammar alarms for me...it's presumptive and cold/distant and awkward to me, awkwardly formal and really impersonal like a business letter.

Change it up...

"Hi (name),
I checked your profile and it looks like we have a few things in common like (name a couple of those things). I'd love to talk to you about your experiences doing (a thing from her profile). If you're curious, have a look at my profile and let me know. I hope to hear from you soon, have a great day!"

Someone on another site literally sent me this:
"Hi there. Just checked out your profile...In all honesty I'm a little nervous responding to you because I'm sure that you probably have messages from other guys coming out the wazoo.... But my wife tells me not to sell myself short... And the usual hockey metaphor of "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take...." So... Here goes! I'm (name removed) and I'm hoping to hear back from you. :)"

We're talking about meeting soon...because he hit all my markers/requirements in that first message.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Should send another message or just go and hope for the best?
Posted: 3/10/2016 6:43:09 AM

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Can you go easy on the pronouns?

Call them Girl 1 and Girl 2 or something. Leave out all extraneous information.

He's only talking about one girl. Someone he met years ago, but is only FB friends with. Wants to know if she's going to a conference he's thinking about attending and messaged her asking if she was going. She read but didn't respond. He wants to know if he should message her again or just go to the conference.

It really wasn't that complicated.

Hey @OP...it might be weird to her if you haven't communicated much recently, so be patient. She might also not know how to respond, or have the time. I often read messages and wait before responding to them.

If you want to go, regardless of if she is going or not, then go.

If you only want to go, in the hope of running into her and building a connection/relationship....meh? I wouldn't. But that's me.

If you're going to learn something from the experience that will enrich your life, then go. If you run into her...happy days! If not...that's ok too.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Is there such a thing as too old ...
Posted: 3/8/2016 3:12:04 PM

Yes, girth would be the word I couldn't think of, thanks
There is a difference between that thick awesome feeling of fullness, and sweet jesus am I going to need a episiotomy. OK maybe not that thick, but enough where I flinched and sqeeked out a yelp, he being not real thrilled about hurting me, lost it :(

Take your time with foreplay, make sure you're fairly relaxed and lubricated (add some if you don't think it's enough), and take your time.

For me I find it works best with a thicker guy if I'm on top and in complete control over what is happening. That means he doesn't move or help or thrust or anything until I tell him to. You control penetration, angle, speed, depth...everything.

And for heaven's sake!!! Reassure him he's not hurting you...some noises that sound like pain aren't.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Is it wrong that I'm disabled but don't want to date disabled women?
Posted: 3/7/2016 6:45:37 AM
I don't see it as any different from a short person not wanting to date another short person.

I'm fat, and while I'm drawn to guys with a little extra, I wouldn't want to date a guy that weighs what I do. I wouldn't be attracted to them. I like altheletic men, and I don't get upset if they aren't attracted to me in return. Does it make me a hypocrite? Maybe, I don't think so, because I don't expect the people I'm attracted to to be attracted to me in return.

We all have things we like or want in a partner.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Hotwifing
Posted: 3/7/2016 6:23:17 AM

Why do some guys want to get the raw end of the deal on purpose ??????

If it's what they want, it's NOT the "raw end of the deal"...it's only that way to you because you would not want that kind of thing in your relationship.


Maybe some simply get excited to receive a phone call from their wife saying " don't wait up , I met someone and am going to have some fun tonight " ?


I remember a story from a magazine a looooooooooooooong time ago called " Picture this " . The guy goes through his wife's purse because he needed some cash and finds an envelope full of pix of his wife and her boss getting it on. At first he's angry but in the end is looking forward to her bringing him more pix.

I have a partner that enjoys this...emotional masochism...he gets off on the sting of jealousy/envy. Some of the things he fantasizes about are pretty intense, and mostly unrealistic, which is the whole point to it being a fantasy.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 217 (view)
 
Do men really like Dominant Women?
Posted: 2/22/2016 9:59:10 AM

I love to be in control,very compassionate. I have zero interest in bossy women romantically

So dominant women aren't compassionate?
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
My gay ex wife
Posted: 2/17/2016 11:27:21 AM

Sorry for the confusion, but I'm not thinking that people are scared off because my ex is gay but that we are still quite a strong family. The situation would be a lot like saying in many ways she is a sister and we have about as much contact with each other as you would expect a brother and sister to have. In fact if I had a sister i spent time with regularly in my life it would not be considered weird but just typical family.

My ex and I are NOT close. I personally don't want anything to do with him. Unfortunately because of the spawn, I have to interact with him. I can't really complain, he's always made his payments...even though he's done some absolutely d*ckish things over the years.

If you have to say something, simply say "we are close friends because of our child"...and if someone doesn't get that, they aren't the one for you.


I think there is a fear there that somehow my ex will just 'decide' she is not gay anymore and that somehow we'll just magically get back together as though I had no agency of my own. This way of thinking really illustrates two biases. One against homosexuals and one against men; that homosexuality is a 'choice' and men are only beasts after sex who couldn't help themselves if their exes wanted them back.

I was involved with someone for a while in 2007 who point blank said to me "If you and I ever get married, and my ex ever says she wants me back, I'm going back to her, no matter what." Needless to say it didn't work out with him.

If someone you're involved with feels you will up and leave and go back to your ex, they weren't really interested in developing the kind of relationship with you that you want/deserve.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
just turned 30 and not getting any younger
Posted: 2/14/2016 8:49:59 AM

there's no one right answer, and you just drive yourself nuts when you're trying to be all procedurally perfect.

True. Individuals will have their own needs and requirements. What one woman wants won't translate to the next one. This is a super important lesson to learn!!


ask when it's comfortable for you. a woman who's curious about you and is compatible in dating style will say yes. if she disappears before or after you ask, she lacks one or the other of those things, meaning she wasn't a good prospect to start with.

You can absolutely ask when you're ready, when you feel it. However, she can absolutely say no. You need to be prepared for that.

HOW you handle that will determine where you go from there. Did she say no because she's not available that day? Did she say no because she's not ready/comfortable yet? Did she say no because she's not interested in you at all? I can tell you this...a woman that isn't interested won't string you along and carry on a conversation with you for very long. I'm upfront and say it once I figure it out, but it might take me a bit to do that.


do you get a number and try to actually talk with any women on the phone? or do you conduct everything by text? if so, that's not the best way to build interest.

So here is a perfect example of "not everyone does things the same way or wants the same things". I don't give out my contact information until I'm ready. That could take many many many conversations through IM here. I prefer it that way. I don't rush to meet people. I am talking about a minimum of a month chatting here. I prefer written contact over talking on the phone, which I will do, eventually. I will take a well written text or email over a phone conversation.

One of my partners is the best at the whole text-communication thing, like the majority of our conversations have happened that way. It was how he won me over actually.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Roosh V
Posted: 2/8/2016 8:38:10 AM

I suspect vigilante activity in the Posnan area of Poland is forcing him immigrate to UK to "practice his craft".

Except he's currently living in his mother's basement in Maryland.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3432531/Pictured-pick-artist-center-international-pro-rape-storm-t-shirt-shorts-door-mother-s-home-lives-basement.html

Not to mention that he's American born and raised.

There are petitions online from many countries to prevent him from being able to enter those countries. The one for the UK has over 28,000 signatures.
https://you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/stop-roosh-v-supporters-meeting-in-the-uk

Over 46,000 for Canada
https://www.change.org/p/deny-rooshv-accommodation-in-canada-for-the-purposes-of-disseminating-hate

Over 100,000 for Australia
https://www.change.org/p/the-nsw-police-force-stop-supporters-of-legal-rape-roosh-v-advocates-meeting-in-sydney

No one wants this man.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is this too much
Posted: 2/6/2016 1:13:20 PM
If you write a letter to someone, or an email, you'd use those lines...especially if you really DO want to hear back from them, or are looking forward to hearing back from them. It's polite conversation I think.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What is Proper Online Dating Etiqutte ?
Posted: 2/6/2016 1:11:59 PM

Issue #1
I contacted a woman here, and immediately she wrote back...and we chatted back and forth, sending about 15 messages each.
The last message I sent...nothing, it was only a minute or two after receiving her reply.
The next morning when I checked, she had responded a few minutes earlier.
Just curious...when chatting online, should you say goodbye, gotta go...or just log off abruptly.

Depends on the conversation. Generally I like to say I'm going offline, but that is me. Not everyone does that.


Issue #2
I got a message from another stunning woman, she was very nice and left a flattering and compliment filled message.
However, she gave me her phone number and said call or text.
I don't ask women for a phone number, nor give mine until we actually meet...so I sent her a message...didn't tell her that...but was charming and polite, and she didn't return the message...any idea why....

I see this a lot from men actually...they give their phone number and ask to be called or text because they don't often log into whatever site they are chatting on.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Do you keep old text messages from your exes?
Posted: 2/6/2016 12:21:24 PM
I don't delete messages from anyone.

Words are my porn, and I like to revisit conversations from time to time.

Then again I am not in a monogamous relationship.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Do You Consider Tobacco Breath, bad breath ?
Posted: 2/5/2016 8:48:01 AM

so if you find it offensive how would you address it...

I use my words and tell them.

My partner started smoking again last month, claiming stress from work as the reason. It adversely affected a lot of things in our relationship, including but not limited to a drop in kissing. It affects everything about someone's body, how they smell, how they taste...everything. I am allergic to tobacco smoke so it makes it hard for me to breathe, my throat hurts, I get a headache...I purposefully do not seek out partners that are smokers for this reason.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 166 (view)
 
Does noise during sex, turn you on more?
Posted: 2/4/2016 3:47:08 PM

If she/he is not responding vocally you're doing it wrong.

I disagree...some folks just don't make noise. Doesn't mean you're doing it wrong or they aren't enjoying it. Just means they are the quiet type.

I like a vocal partner.
I like making my partner swear because he doesn't do it outside of the bedroom. That's music to my ears.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Roosh V
Posted: 2/4/2016 3:40:55 PM

But if both are drunk...

They are equally incapable of consenting to any sexual activity.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Femdom Relationships
Posted: 1/24/2016 12:26:04 PM

I would caution those who want to allow a woman to put them in a chasitity cage. Some women like to experiment, as in, see how much you climb the walls when you haven't been released in a really long time.

Sometimes it's more fun to just tell him to keep his hands off my penis until I tell him otherwise. No physical device necessary.

Know what happens with long-term chastity? The man usually becomes more submissive and less driven by his penis.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
how big is to much of an age gap?
Posted: 1/16/2016 5:59:18 PM
Set your own boundary, don't worry about what someone else says about it.

My current partner is 19 years younger. My former was 16 years younger. The one before that was 5 years older. The one before that was probably about the same, 5 years older. The one before that was 9 years younger. My ex husband is 3 years younger. My former fiance is 18 months younger....there were others, some older, some younger.

My preference is younger with a comfort zone of about 5-10 years younger, 5 years older. Beyond that, at least younger, is harder for me to accept, but not impossible. Unfortunately more than 5 years older is a hard limit...and even 5 years older is a struggle for me.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why do woman ignore guys rather tell them the truth?
Posted: 1/16/2016 5:53:00 PM

Why can't woman tell him the simple truth.

Because most men can't handle the truth.

Why do men have to turn nasty and aggressive when a woman politely tells him she's not interested? Why does she have to say no more than once?

Many men can't face the idea that a woman might be in contact with more than one man, and sometimes it's just easier to ghost him than to say "I've met someone that I've connected with on a deeper level and I want to pursue that right now...I wish you luck in your search" only to have multiple names thrown her way with a potential death threat thrown in too boot.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
I don't like to slow dance, is that okay...
Posted: 1/16/2016 5:44:26 PM
If it works for you, keep doing it.

It wouldn't work on me.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
My girl wont cum all the time...
Posted: 1/14/2016 10:10:26 AM

So idk what the issue is

The fact that you're claiming you know what you are doing, but at 32 you are still hung up on the size of your penis tells me you don't.

Most women do not orgasm from penis-in-vagina sex. The size of your penis has nothing to do with it.

Most women need manual stimulation of their clitoris in order to achieve orgasm.

Here's another clue you should pay attention to....if SHE isn't complaining to you about it, chances are it's not an issue for HER. Sounds like this is only an issue to you. Rest assured your masculinity is not at risk because she doesn't orgasm when your penis is inside her.

You keep focusing on the fact she's been with black men, and you assume your penis isn't big enough, and you're dismissing her saying your penis is perfect tells me you don't understand as much as you think you do about how a vagina works, or what your girlfriend needs in order to get off.

Stop seeking validation from complete strangers about your penis.

Pay attention to her body when you're having sex.

Stop basing your satisfaction on what you think sex should be like.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Dating advice - How do you girls view this?
Posted: 12/6/2015 8:48:24 AM

So there you go... What do you girls find? Am I getting it wrong somewhere? Anything i should consider which I haven't? What are your views? Would you date me based on how I view things?

I think you're overthinking things.

Message someone that you think is interesting.
If she messages back, have a conversation, or several.
If you like the way the conversation is going, and she's still talking to you, ask her out on a date.
If that goes well, ask her out on another one.
Eventually the sex happens...or not.
At any point either party is allowed to walk away for any number of reasons.

This isn't difficult. I'm really unsure what you are looking for here...validation that you're dateable? Everyone is dateable by someone, I'm sure even you.

Personally I'm somewhat put off by the idea that you don't message someone unless you think you are well out of her league and that you judge her willingness to have sex with you based on her profile pictures.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How Do I Ask For Sex?
Posted: 12/6/2015 8:21:17 AM

you don't ask for sex, you just take it... but
for guys that makes you a rapist

Actually it makes women rapists too.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How Do I Ask For Sex?
Posted: 12/3/2015 12:11:35 PM
Please only offer money to a professional sex worker. If you're that desperate to pay a friend of yours, HIRE a sex worker. She might still reject you, but she's more likely to take your money and give you sex.

Your desperation is palpable and it's a turn off. Chasing after your friends and offering to pay them for sex is a turn off.

I couldn't give two figs about unemployment, lack of driver's license or even the Aspergers.

How you are treating others though is most definitely not inviting or appealing.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
should i message her again if she has not responded for the first time
Posted: 11/30/2015 1:56:27 PM

Or is it me being an asian has put her off.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...slow your roll there and don't assume anything.

You honestly have no idea if she IS actually compatible with you because you've never spoken. You're reading a lot into her profile and anticipating that she would be.

You sent a message. She looked at your profile. She hasn't responded to your message. She maybe doesn't have time and will do it later, or it's possible the non-message is your response and she's not interested. She isn't obligated to respond to you even if you sent a message. It sucks, it's shitty, but it happens. Plenty of women respond politely rejecting folks and are bombarded with ire and hatred in return...so they stop responding. A non-response IS a response. It's just not the polite "thanks, I don't think we are a good match/no thanks" you might want.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
95%
Posted: 11/23/2015 1:19:10 PM
83% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Also...women don't go looking for Nice Guys™ because we've learned their really entitled a$$holes. I prefer a GOOD MAN.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 121 (view)
 
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/19/2015 7:50:20 AM
Under the heading of "knowledge is power"...

http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2014/10/womans-erection-needs-20-30-minutes-adequate-clitoral-stimulation

"What's left out of this conversation is the following information: A woman's erection takes twenty to thirty minutes of adequate clitoral stimulation for her entire vulva to become engorged. The operating word here is "adequate" and will vary from woman to woman.

The point being that few women are even turned on before they get ****ed. Most are getting a few minutes of clumsy clit stim, a few licks from a dry tongue or harsh finger banging. The moment there's a small amount of lubrication, many lovers dive into the vagina going for a home run. No wonder sex therapists emphasize foreplay and no wonder faked orgasms far out number real ones. When we discover how few women are having orgasms during intercourse it's obvious to me that ****ing is really foreplay for masturbation."

I have been the repeated victim of "*grunt*****hard, must put in wet hole now *grunt*"... fully realizing that if I don't speak up, he isn't to know I'm not ready. But really...a man that doesn't understand that it can take women a lot longer to get fully aroused, and therefore fully receptive/reactive, isn't doing his part.

Yes, I like aggressive bend me over the side of the bed and take what you want...sometimes. Hell, I've done the use him for my pleasure and don't care if he gets off a time or two myself. Neither of those are staples in my sexcapades.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why Girls Love Complete douchebags?
Posted: 11/15/2015 4:58:01 PM
Why does it matter to you who your sister is with? Or any other women for that matter?

I get not approving of your sibling's partner...I'm not a huge fan of my SIL...but I don't have to sleep with her, so it's perfectly ok with me that he does.

Sure you want the best for someone, but since you are them, they get to pick and choose the ones that work for them, even if it doesn't make any sense to you.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
full disclosure
Posted: 11/15/2015 4:34:36 PM
I would generally know those things before meeting. Mostly because I don't rush into meeting, and I do a lot of conversing before I agree to meet anyone.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
real issue ive noticed with white women on here
Posted: 11/15/2015 4:33:22 PM

so my thing is how come you dont state it in your profle

Quite possibly reducing the number of things that other people will message them about in a negative way. It doesn't take much to set some people off, and if a woman did do it, you'd be complaining about them not wanting to date you as a result. I can almost guarantee it.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why did she cry?
Posted: 11/9/2015 6:54:34 AM

i'd like to know why she behaved that way during the date, and why she cried.

Because you forced her into going on a date with you when she said she only wanted sex from you.

Sometimes you have to listen to what people say, and not impose your thoughts or feelings on them (the words).
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Is it typical to seem or be hung-up on an ex?
Posted: 11/1/2015 12:55:51 PM
Just because YOU aren't or can't be or are not interested in maintaining a friendship with your ex and her family doesn't mean everyone has to be like you.

I HAVE to maintain contact with the ex, we have spawn. I don't chase after his family to maintain their relationship with their grandchildren, that is not my job. They ended most contact with us about a year before the end of the marriage, and I, frankly, don't miss them.

I was in a 5 yr long relationship with someone that ended about 3 years ago. I have dinner with him several times a month at this point, and we text a few times a week. He's the only ex I've stayed friends with. My current partner is friends with a couple of his exes, and I'm ok with it. Different people do things differently.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 54 (view)
 
adult breast feeding relationships
Posted: 10/16/2015 10:54:41 AM

Is nothing sacred and free of perversion anymore:(

Let me introduce you to Rule 34. Google it.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Has a customer at your work ever shown interest?
Posted: 10/12/2015 4:35:41 PM
Yes. And it was creepy.

My background is construction, and the last office I worked in had a client that would come into my space and basically corner me and force physical affection (hugs, etc) on me. I'd blame it on the specific culture, but I think the guy was just an ass in general.

Just don't.
 
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