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 Author Thread: Spider season .... help
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Spider season .... help
Posted: 10/20/2013 5:38:20 AM

What do conkers have to do with averting spiders?


When they hatch, billions of baby conkers come out and eat all of the spiders.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Spider season .... help
Posted: 10/19/2013 12:41:57 PM
OK, not many of us are great spider lovers. I absolutely hate this time of year - for some reason, my house seems to attract lots of the things. But more so especially HUGE ones. I can't do the glass and card thing - I can't get that close. I bought a spider catcher thingy last year - but I can only use it on ones less than an inch - and then it takes all my courage to do it. It doesn't kill them - you just catch them and put them outside.

I had a monster in my bath the other morning. I couldn't shower that morning - had to have a strip wash in the kitchen. Don't laugh :-) I couldn't use the spider catcher thingy either - this monster was 3". So I put an old towel in the bath so it could crawl out. Which it did - it wasn't in the bath when I got home from work. But then I was just petrified - where is it? It must be somewhere.

How can I deal with this stupid phobia? Don't say go hold a tarantula - I probably could do that, it's more like a mouse type thing rather than a spider. It's fluffy and moves slowly. These HUGE house spiders are NOT fluffy and they skittle about so quickly.

I've tried conkers. Found one monster making a web around one. I'm tired of being scared in my own home because of SPIDERS. It's nuts.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Heartbroken today...
Posted: 5/27/2013 10:32:24 AM
Awww, so sorry to hear of your loss. Only pet owners can truly understand how hard it is. I personally think it's not nice to keep cats indoors all their lives - if you don't want them to roam, at least take them out on a lead.

I lost my dog several years ago to a sudden illness. One day he was fine, the next being sick. Vet did blood tests, urine tests and finally took him in for an x-ray. Then the call - he had a tumour. I went back to the vet to be with my boy as he was put to sleep. I still cry now and again, but I have more smiles than tears now when I think of our time together.

I had a stray cat adopt me last year, but I'm just not a cat person. I tried, but his ideal of fun was not mine - I didn't enjoy the scratches :-) And cleaning up the litter tray made me feel physically sick - the smell .....!!! But I got him re-homed by a good charity and they sent me a photo of him a few weeks later, happy in his new forever home.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Magnificent things an Ex did for you
Posted: 5/27/2013 10:13:52 AM
Best thing one ex did for me - after two weeks of us splitting up and him taking his dog with him, he called and said "do you want Bouncer?" - I'd missed the dog more than the ex. And had a wonderful 4 years with that dog. And also met my now last ex through dog walks. So, if the ex ex hadn't given me his dog, I would never have met the ex :-) No regrets and still miss the dog more than any exes.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Why do employers use recruitment agencies?
Posted: 5/21/2013 6:28:37 AM
Some interesting replies.

The recruiter knew I didn't have experience for the job she sent me to - I expect they just get paid for whatever candidate they put forward. I'm looking for work as a legal secretary and this job was in a conveyancing department. From the interview, I don't believe the recruiter told them I had no experience of conveyancing, as most of the questions they asked I simply couldn't answer. So she got her pay and wasted my time and the company's time.

Oh well, another interview on Friday. And another recruitment agency I have to visit and sign up with. At least I know how interviews are these days now though - it was my first in 20 years and I was SO nervous. I will be nervous again on Friday, but not quite as much, as I will know what to sort of expect.

As for the temping side - I can understand why companies do use recruitment agencies. But I think that if a temping job goes beyond a year, there should be a law that says you have to be made a permanent employee.

And, one last rant - I've sent my CV to all the legal firms in Bristol - only two bothered to reply.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why do employers use recruitment agencies?
Posted: 5/20/2013 9:30:55 AM
Jobhunting and it seems 99% of jobs advertised go via recruitment agencies. Why don't companies simply advertise themselves? I had an interview last week - via a recruitment agency. They knew I didn't have the experience required, yet still put me forward and said it wasn't necessary to have the experience. Obviously, I didn't get the job due to lack of experience in the field they were looking for.

It was my first interview in 20 years and obviously I was very nervous. But I feel my time was wasted and also the company's time wasted. Most of the questions were skipped because they knew I wouldn't beable to answer. What was the point in inviting me to an interview when I had been honest and said I didn't have all the experience they were looking for?

I've applied for lots of jobs and they all seem to go via recruitment agencies - and they don't even have the decency to respond if they are not interested.

Getting very scared now - savings are running out and if I don't find something soon, I will be fooked and probably lose my home.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 117 (view)
 
FWB and new BF
Posted: 5/20/2013 9:20:33 AM
I haven't read the whole thread - too long for me. But if I met someone and we started a relationship and he told me one of his female friends used to be a FWB and he still saw her, slept over a her place, etc, I'd run a mile.

I'm older and I guess more old-fashioned and I really don't get the FWB - I honestly believe that one of the people involved will be hoping it would turn into more and just doing the FWB with that hope in mind.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Wasps!
Posted: 5/19/2013 2:31:28 PM
Wasps - I hate them and they seem to be getting bigger every year. None in the house yet this year - probably because it's beeen so bloody cold and no windows opened. But after encountering 3 or 4 HUGE spiders last year, I now have my trusty spider/pest catcher. Doesn't kill them, but you can catch them and walk down the road and give them to your distant neighbours - well, I'm not just going to put them close to my house am I?

But conkers seemed to have worked for the spiders - but not the grand-daddy type yukky things.

This post reminds me of a holiday quite some time ago in Corfu - me and my mate lying on a beach. First of all, a Greek local coming along selling stuff and shouting out "grapes, water melons, toilets" - me and my mate looked at each other and were like "toilets"??!!! Turned out it was doughnuts.

And the girl next to us with her young kid - "Bradley, WASP, Bradley, WASP WASP WASP". I think that kid may still be in therapy for his fear of wasps. Me and my friend still are. And we never eat doughnuts since that holiday.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 15 (view)
 
do you sometimes get all confused and end up doing silly things?
Posted: 5/9/2013 6:04:19 PM
I do the usual go upstairs, then think why did I come upstairs?

My Mum always took her dog to the shop with her and tied him up outside. One day she got back from the shop and we are like "Mum, where's Morgan". Mum - OMG - running back to the shop to see a poor bewildered black lab - with why did you leave me eyes.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Cycle Path or Dog Path ?
Posted: 5/9/2013 5:49:34 PM
I hate cyclists and I hate dog haters. I hate lots of other things too.

Cyclists - don't ting a bell at me to get out of the way - especially when I am walking on a pavement meant for pedestrians and not cyclists. And stop thinking red traffic lights don't mean anything to you. Grrrrrr.

Dog haters - you just run around in your small back garden as your only "off lead" exercise. Nothing better than seeing a group of dogs running around and playing.

I'm in a bad mood tonight.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Email address on profile twice - scammer?
Posted: 4/25/2013 9:49:30 AM
Scammer all the way - ignore and report. Also, any goodlooking guys (I mean crazy goodlooking) who mention God and are usually in the army - again, ignore and report. Though, if you're bored, you can sometimes have a really good laugh playing along on here.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 57 (view)
 
is this normal?
Posted: 4/25/2013 9:23:59 AM
You said you've met her and got on OK - so I'd suggest becoming friends with her as well. Suggest to your boyfriend that the 3 of you socialise together sometimes (or hopefully she'll have a partner to bring along). Explain to him how you feel - tell him for you to be comfortable with their friendship, you need to be involved in it also.

Get to know her - watch how they act together - and your doubts will either fall away or you'll be more uncomfortable about it.

Good luck. I have to be honest - I'd hate any partner I had to keep a close friendship with his ex.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Work, friends, families and fitting it all in...
Posted: 4/25/2013 7:20:11 AM
I think if you meet someone, get on and get to know each other - then eventually you both blend into each other's lives. You'll visit family together. If the other half has friends with partners, you can meet up together. Good to have just friend times alone though without the partner.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Own Teeth???
Posted: 4/21/2013 3:11:08 AM
My ex had 4 false front teeth - he lost them in a motorbike accident - well he didn't actually "lose" them, they got smacked out. I actually preferred him without the false ones in - gave him a really cute boyish smile.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What to do with mustard
Posted: 4/7/2013 2:30:47 PM
Marinate some chicken breasts in honey, mustard and coriander for a few hours, then cook in the oven. Delicious with rice.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Mick and Mairead Philpott
Posted: 4/5/2013 12:39:52 PM
What they did was vile and disgusting and the sentences should have been much longer. I hope they are all put in the normal prison system and that all 3 either get murdered by inmates or find it so unbearable that they all top themselves. They didn't intend to actually kill the children, but who in their right mind would take the risk? How could anyone put their kids through that? And the barstewards apparently made no effort in the rescue when their idiotic plan went wrong. Those poor children must have been so terrified.

On another note - am I the only one who thinks those two men MUST be related - they look like twins.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Messaging British Women
Posted: 3/22/2013 6:40:56 AM
OP, why the hell do you want to come to the UK, especially London? Better do a crash course on foreign languages, because London is like being in the middle east or eastern europe these days. I'd advise you to look into studying somewhere else apart from London. It's a sh*t hole :-)
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Quetion to those who cannot move on (only)
Posted: 3/17/2013 4:52:09 AM
My 3 wishes would be:

1. That I can wake up in the morning and not think about him at all, and I can go to sleep at night without thinking about him at all.
2. That he will finally wake up one day and realise he will never have me again and regret that for the rest of his days.
3. Perhaps not related to the subject, but can I win the lottery please?!!!
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Learning to be single
Posted: 3/6/2013 3:22:23 PM
I've learned to be single after having no choice through 3 years of being single. But I really do hate it - I want to be in a relationship and in love. Everything is more fun with someone special to share things with. Cooking for one isn't much fun. I hate going to bed alone each night and waking up alone each morning. And as all my friends are married and now enjoying their grandchildren, it's hard to have the sort of social life I need - being a singleton.

My last ex left me devastated when he ended our relationship - saying he had fallen out of love. Fair enough, but he'd obviously been thinking about it for quite some time, whilst I had no idea he was feeling that way and thought we were getting along just fine. So the end of the relationship was a bolt out of the blue for me, but obviously not for him. I was in a very bad place for a couple of years.

So I've learnt to be single, but I really don't want to be anymore :-( And the only person I've really clicked with on here lives bloody miles away.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 20 (view)
 
How do you cope when your best friend dumps you?
Posted: 2/16/2013 7:05:42 AM
Get out of the wrong side of bed this morning Shelley?
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
IM chat messenger on POF
Posted: 1/28/2013 5:51:46 PM
I never accept an IM chat request from someone I've never even talked to via message before.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Housing Benefits
Posted: 1/26/2013 6:35:36 PM

hi eve,sorry tell you they dont do that any more.also expect to be out work for while given age(no ageism yeah right). you paying morgage,if you default the council count you as making yourself homeless,wont get rehoused.the bank sell your house at auction at knockdown price chase you for shortfall.then theres the bedroom tax if you rent and have 1 spare room-you lose 14% if you 2 spare bedrooms you lose 25% of your housing benefit.lot people be homeless better off getting jailed free food,no bills /council tax.we going to hell in handcart


I'm only 50, still a youngster :-) In my line of work, I should be OK - fingers crossed. Did get invited for some interviews straightaway, but decided to take a bit of time off to recharge my batteries. And at my age and being a female, at least they know they won't have to pay out for lots of maternity leave. Where I used to work, women would get pregnant, year of maternity leave, come back for 8 months and pregnant again - another year of maternity leave. And a couple of them then said "I'm not coming back".

I agree with the homeless bit - may as well commit some crime to get roof over your head, food, TV, etc, etc, etc.

Scary times eh?!!!
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Housing Benefits
Posted: 1/26/2013 6:15:42 PM

I work for local council, and although not directly involved in benefits there has been a rental/mortgage scam going on for years, This is how it works, Dad/Mum buys a property (they do not change the land registry for that property leaving it in the name of the seller(previous owner) they then rent out that property to a relative – the relative also buys a property doing the same as above, they then rent their properties to each other claiming housing and council tax benefit usually in their wife’s name (wife says he’s left her) She has x-mount of kids, but has a rental agreement and she doesn’t own the house, as it’s not in her name – The tax payer indirectly pays the rent on the property which in turn pays the mortgage, do this for 25yrs and that’s the way to get your mortgage paid for by the tax payer. The buy to let market, has been a real money spinner for the greedy landlord and those in need of rental accommodation on benefits.


How do they not change the land registry? I thought this was all done by solicitors?
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
just be honest
Posted: 1/26/2013 12:16:05 PM
You need a nice smiley picture - and if taken by webcam, try to look directly ahead and not downwards.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Housing Benefits
Posted: 1/26/2013 10:45:03 AM

Eve, I realise that initially it seems wrong but in reality, your house is an Asset. Unless you are very unlucky, you could sell your house, pay off the mortgage and there will be some finance left over. If it is above a cetain amount then you won't be entitled to any assistance until your savings have dropped to whatever the cut off level is

If your interest was paid, then you would actually benefit in the long run and that is not what DSS assistance is about, you also have to take into account that an owned property has additional expenses, maintainance, building insurance etc

An alternative, if your mortgage lender agrees is to rent out your own property and go into cheaper accommodation although this also has it's problems.

Depending on the size of your home, could you rent out a room. It is tax free up to a specific amount and might just be enough to get you through a rough patch

Shelly - the mortgage isn't paid - it is only the interest so the mortgage owner isn't actually any better off as such - they are just not worse off


Thanks - I'm obviously thinking along the wrong lines. I'm completely new to this benefit stuff.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Housing Benefits
Posted: 1/26/2013 10:33:27 AM
Shellydimples - I agree with you completely. I was just thinking that it would be cheaper for them to pay the mortgage if that is cheaper than rental accommodation.

There could be something legal written in - that if a person did find a job and a few years later sold their home at a profit, then whatever they had received should be paid back.

Wouldn't it be better for the person to keep their home rather than have to rent and therefore need more benefits? And as I said, some written agreement that it would be paid back if the home was sold.

I was just pondering things in my own mind. I'm not talking have it paid for a lifetime - just whilst looking for a job. Perhaps for a two year period only?

If someone loses their job and was forced into repossession and into rental, they could lose incentive to find work. As the rent would possibly be too high for them to afford.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Housing Benefits
Posted: 1/26/2013 10:07:21 AM
I don't claim benefits, but was made redundant last year and living off the redundancy payout. But, obviously, this won't last forever and if I don't find a job, I will have to claim. I own my home - well, not own exactly, but mortgage. I've looked on the benefit site to see what I may be entitled to when I need to claim (hopefully I'll find some job though) and it seems only JSA and a few quid off council tax.

As I understand it - and please correct me if I'm wrong - they pay interest on the mortgage for 6 months only. But if, say, I lost my home and had to go into rental, they would pay the full rental. Which I reckon only renting a room would be about £400 a month at least.

My mortgage is about £350 a month. So even if they paid my whole mortgage whilst I was job hunting, it would be cheaper - and probably would be for lots of people.

Your thoughts?
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Money and relationships
Posted: 1/25/2013 7:11:33 PM
Why do black men tend to share with their spouse unlike other nationalities?.

Clearly cause whitey is tighty.


giggle giggle giggle

 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Anybody ever hear of a GF who refuses to go to a conert...EVER?
Posted: 1/25/2013 6:16:57 PM
So, big deal, she doesn't like concerts. Not everyone does. Go with a friend and find something she likes to do, that you enjoy too, and do that instead. Some people are actually quite happy just staying in alot of the time. Or chilling in a nice coffee place watching the world go by.

My ex loved going camping in the wild - no facilities, just complete nature. Not my thing - love camping, but with nice toilets and showers and preferably a pub nearby. So he went camping with his mate and I did whatever I wanted to do. We split up, but nothing to do with that.

I don't understand why you're on POF looking for long-term if you have a girlfriend.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Bumps in the Relationship
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:50:10 PM
You'd see a lot more of each other if you did live together - is this something both of you would want?

Or maybe you could try looking for another job that has more sociable hours? Unless, of course, you really love your job - then stick with it.

But if you did live together, at least if you get called out at stupid o'clock, you go home and get into bed with her and, even though you may be asleep when she wakes up for work, you'd at least be there.

Hope you find a solution - you two sound happy together.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 2 (view)
 
wow
Posted: 1/25/2013 5:07:45 PM
He can move on so quickly because, unfortunately for you, he didn't love you and told you so. I doubt if he faked the tears - he was probably upset at the breakup, just not majorly upset because it was the right thing for HIM for it to end. Maybe he cried because he knew how much he was hurting you?
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 49 (view)
 
A Permanent Relationship But Living Apart. .?.
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:38:55 PM

And how can you declare it's not permanent when someone like my sister has been in such a relationship for 24 years? Her marriage only lasted for TEN!

It takes a lot more effort, trust and communication to live with someone full time. I think that some just do not want to put that sort of effort in


Agree TrayColi - living together takes much more effort. You really see what the other person is like.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
A Permanent Relationship But Living Apart. .?.
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:21:11 PM

And how do you do the smileys and jumpy things?


Somebody help - I want to do smileys and jumpy and giggling.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 43 (view)
 
A Permanent Relationship But Living Apart. .?.
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:12:42 PM
I think this would suit a lot of people - especially those who have had very long live-in relationships before. It wouldn't suit me though - I've enjoyed living on my own, but now I really want to live with someone again. But that's just me.

My ex and I had a 4 year relationship living apart - we only live a 5 minute walk apart. But I soon hated it - my place was my place and his place was his place. So we both thought why should we help out with cleaning? I mean the proper cleaning - not just a bit of washing up. So usually on a Saturday morning, if I had stayed at his overnight, he'd be getting on with his washing, vacuuming, etc, so obviously I'd bugger off home to do likewise. We didn't have much quality time together at weekends.

I'd prefer to live together, although not straightaway obviously.

And how do you do the smileys and jumpy things?
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Have you become so Jaded that you think you will never marry?
Posted: 1/23/2013 10:41:25 AM
50 and never been married and really can't see it happening for me now, but I still live in hope. Yep, I'd love to get married. But, most importantly for me, I'd love to live with someone again. I get tired of doing all the stuff around the house on my own - would be so great to have company instead of spending so many nights alone.

Sorry - having a feeling sorry for myself day :-(
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Tattoos, body shaving or trimming, etc
Posted: 1/20/2013 4:26:03 PM
I don't mind tattoes on a man - but not anything to arty farty. And I hate tattoes of ex's names - just a thing I have. It's an ex, but you're left with a permanent reminder - or, in my case with an ex, I had the reminder as it was on his back :-) Cuddling up and seeing his ex's name in a heart with an arrow wasn't the thing I wanted to see.

As for the hair thing - I keep my lady garden (giggle) trimmed, but if any man wanted me to be completely shaved down there, looking like a pre-teen girl, then no. Don't mind a man trimming a bit downstairs, but completely hairless - yuk.

Men shaving chest hair - no. Trimmed, but not shaved - it feels horrible, all rough and scratchy.

So, trimmed and tidy as to the hair issue. Tattoes - I think you simply either like them or not.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
When the pretty white fluffy stuff turns to ice .....
Posted: 1/20/2013 12:01:22 PM
OK, I know I'm going to be letting myself into a right pisstake here, but ....

How do you cope when the snow turns to ice? Where I live, to get to places, it is either go downhill or go uphill. I've tried wellies, hiking boots, but I just slip and slide. Everyone else seems to stomp along normally. What is the best way to walk when the conditions are so icy? Going to test the Yaktraks tomorrow - has anyone else used these?
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/20/2013 11:45:35 AM

"has a small holding in West Wales"

Me thinks this lady is not in it for the physical attraction or the possibility of building a loving relationship but for the fact that this man may be wealthy and affluent and seems to be causing her to have the proverbial "dollar signs" in her eyes that are strangely motivating her...


Oh, he's not rich at all - he's actually struggling. A small holding does not mean rich. It's a hard lifestyle. I don't see "dollar signs".
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 49 (view)
 
How do i move on or better yet get him back
Posted: 1/18/2013 4:51:23 PM
There's no chance for you two as a couple, unless you want to be a complete fool and ruin your life. He cheated with so called best friend (some friend that was) and chose her over you and her child over yours.

It must be hard for you - so young. I would suggest ensure the CSA are involved - I know there are some horror stories out there, but you must ensure he provides financially for the child. Not for you, but for the child.

Get your baby into childcare - hard I know, but the sooner you get yourself a decent job, the better life will be for you.

Next time he flirts with you, look him straight in the eye and say "you made your choice, your made your bed, go lie in it because you will NEVER lie in my bed again". Be civil and polite because you have a child together. But don't take him back, ever. He cheated on you once - do you want to go through that again? Because if you have hopes of getting back with him, you most likely will.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Would you feel insulted?
Posted: 1/18/2013 3:32:50 PM
If he said it in a laughing way - giggle "oh you silly prat" - then think no more of it. I think it depends on how it was said.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Friends with extras - Can it work?
Posted: 1/18/2013 1:45:45 PM
So two friends, happily shagging away together. Then one meets someone and starts a relationship. So says to friend "I've met someone, don't want you for sex anymore". Is the friend really going to be happy - the sex they were enjoying with the friend is no more? Is the new partner REALLY going to be 100% sure that the sex won't continue sometimes?

As I said, each to their own - but I think if you can have sex with a friend, then obviously there must be some physical attraction there, so it's more than simply friendship. Lots of people say that it is sex that makes a "relationship". Without sex, it is just a friendship. So what is friendship that involves sex? It is definitely more than just friendship.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Friends with extras - Can it work?
Posted: 1/18/2013 1:13:09 PM
@msg58

If you're having sex with your friend, then they are obviously more than a friend. Call it what you want - f**k buddy whatever, but most definitely more than just a friend.

Each to their own, of course, but me personally - I wouldn't be comfortable with a partner staying friends with a "friend" they had once had a sexual relationship with. If they could be just friends who once screwed each other, would they still be those sort of friends, still screwing each other now and again? Once you have sex with a friend, the relationship changes from just friendship to something more.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Friends with extras - Can it work?
Posted: 1/18/2013 9:19:17 AM
No, it won't work. Friends are friends. You have sex with your friend, you become lovers. If you meet someone, and go back to being "just friends" - do you tell your new partner that your friend was once also your lover? And expect the new partner to be OK with you just being friends again?
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Has anyone wanted to or ever started their life over?
Posted: 1/17/2013 3:47:11 PM
I did once. Not too far away, but I left my friends and family and job. And I regretted it every single minute. Moved back within 6 months. Think long and hard before you make your decision.

Think - do you speak other languages? If not, you would feel isolated in Europe. What would you do job wise? It's a nice thought to disappear, but think about reality.

I was able to come back. If you wanted to, would you be able to?
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/17/2013 8:03:09 AM
Thanks for all the replies - given me lots to think about. Decided he could be a good friend, but nothing more. I don't find him repulsive, but I do think sex would soon become close your eyes and think of England - not something I want. Shame, because as I said in other ways he's great.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/16/2013 5:42:50 PM
I'm not attracted to him physically, lookwise, but I am attracted to him in all other ways. It's not a repulsive unattraction, he just doesn't make me think "wow". But I'm thinking maybe with time that "wow" will come in other ways. I dunno.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Perfect in every way apart from physical .....
Posted: 1/16/2013 5:32:39 PM
Met a man off this site just over two years ago. I was just bored and browsing profiles and saw his - didn't find myself attracted to his photos, but his profile said he had a smallholding in West Wales, so I just messaged him to say how that sounded great.

He replied and we chatted via messages. Turned out he was from where I live - he'd grown up just a few streets away where I had grew up. After leaving the family homes, we had both lived on the same street again yet never bumped into each other. Where he now lives, I had spent many holidays with my family there - know all the beaches he now knows and loves too.

We chatted on the phone after quite a few POF messages and got on great - talked for hours every night. Then he came over to visit and we got on great - so many things in common, same views on so many things. He came over only 3 times in total - only over a short period of time. I met his Mum, his sister and his daughter. Everything was OK.

But the distance was an issue. He didn't want to move back to where I live and he used to live. No way was I upping and moving to West Wales without a good 6 month trial run, which would have proved too difficult - giving up work, etc. So we lost contact, but have recently started talking again.

We still get on great - talk for hours and still agree on most things. But, as much as I try to see beyond looks, I just don't find him physically attractive. I'm no stunner - but in his eyes, I am (he told me that).

At 50, I'm getting sick of the dating thing and getting to know someone - especially when I've gotten to know him and we get on so very very well. Would it be possible to get past the no physical attraction on my part? My last ex was everything I wanted physically in a man, but we had nothing in common.

Could it work? Or do you really need to have the physical attraction as well? We did sleep together - I know, too soon. But the sex was good. It's just that I don't look at him and think "hmmmm". Am I being shallow? If he didn't find my physically attractive, would he bother?
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Within two messages...
Posted: 1/16/2013 4:44:18 PM

Within a few messages with one guy off here , he asked what I did for a living, so I told him and ended my messages with my first name, like you do. Just from that information he turned up at my work premises ( where I also lived at that time) out of the blue delighted that he had found me on Google! Scary stuff ! Obviously I was less delighted and from then on I lied about what my occupation was ... Blind dates are OK as long as you both agree to meet in a place you both feel comfortable with but I would have never had a first date at their or my own address ..too scary !!


That is scary - turned up at your work before even meeting you? I must admit, I do google usernames sometimes, if I get on with someone via messaging, but only after a bad experience of someone messaging all nice and then getting all pervy. But I only do it to see if they are on any of those "just looking for sex" type sites, so I know to just ignore them, cos that sort of thing isn't for me.
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Guys? Can you love again? REAL LOVE?
Posted: 1/16/2013 10:27:40 AM
I've had 3 long-term relationships. First one I loved. Second one I loved. Third one I loved more than I've loved before. Hoping Mr4 turns out to be the everlasting one :-)
 eve1962
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Where are the men who want a new family?
Posted: 1/16/2013 9:58:59 AM
At 44, sadly, it is unlikely that you will have kids of your own. Just Mother Nature.

I suppose lots of people with kids don't want anymore because they feel they have enough. They've been through the sleepless nights, money problems, etc, and if the kids are still under 18, lots of men will still be paying child support.

You could meet someone with older kids - and if you all get on and they go on to have kids, you could be a stepgrandmother and get to enjoy being part of a growing family.

But be warned - any decent father you get involved with - you will always be second best.
 
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