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 Author Thread: HOLIDAY INN FRENCH QUARTER SAT. AUG 7TH
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 14 (view)
 
HOLIDAY INN FRENCH QUARTER SAT. AUG 7TH
Posted: 8/6/2010 6:52:18 PM
maybe I'll be a "greeter" this time
See you tomorrow night!!
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
I," all by yourself with nothing else attached. Radical!
Posted: 3/21/2010 5:03:15 PM
self-enhancement--growth- change--new and improved,,, Its all RITUAL..
"How about this one" Go inside... all the answers are there"
I like the idea of finding the.." I with nothing attached.." but it is somewhat unfamiliar thats for sure.
What a great way to rid the clutter ... OH, sorry,, thats a different THREAD
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Body language is what we show the world about ourselves. I see rituals as part of what feeds that la
Posted: 3/20/2010 6:48:27 PM
I really need to work on my body language--especially at work.
I have been told that I present myself as defensive. It is not my intent to come across this way.
Yes, most of this is a learned behavior, however; I also believe I am wired a little more animated than most people.
Oh how I envy those who are able to be a "comfortable presence" while in disagreement.
I talk with my hands a lot. It is funny to watch the “listener/s” move their head/s back and forth in response to my hands flying all over the place. When this happens, I stop myself ...but it is an effort.
I have been told this is very distracting for some people.
I am not bothered by people who talk with their hands , so I have difficulty understanding why others find it distracting and even disturbing at times.

I used to have the attitude, that if someone was offended by my body language, that was their problem.
However, it is my problem as well, and I need to fix it.

Side Note: I do not have difficulty"...... taking a moment and just being an "I,"
Count the "I's" above in my post... . And .......................................
don't forget the "my's"
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
The new Broadcast Locally feature...
Posted: 3/17/2010 9:12:57 PM
Darn, I was looking to sell a few items on the "Broadcast Locally feature..."
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 22 (view)
 
What does it mean when..
Posted: 3/7/2010 11:13:25 PM
Why do you only love me for what I do for you in the bedroom, but not for who I am?"

Tell the guy to ask the girl what she means by her statement.
Its called communication.
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
no pic and looking for hangout
Posted: 3/7/2010 10:39:34 PM
I agree with the above poster.
You've listed some of your interest already so make your profile a little less detailed about what you and your roommates think of your humor.
The info on T.V. is a little over stated.
What is your date going to drink while you are having your Ice coffee?
The important thing is to post your pic.
All the Best
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Accumulation versus simplifying -Perhaps agree that you will pick one room which phase are you in ?
Posted: 3/5/2010 6:04:51 PM
Although I have a slight case of VERTIGO right now I am going to work in the Kitchen.
I've decided to throw away the dishes that I rarely use.
I will also throw out stuff that I do not need--but hung on to for sentimental reasons.


I might have a little ceremony. Get out the candles and of course the smudge.

Music ??.......um..............
what do you think?? Mozart?, Madonna? Moody Blues??
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 32 (view)
 
believe me, the paper speaks to a lot of people, when first getting your foot in the door
Posted: 3/3/2010 12:13:26 AM
Is anyone out there impacted by the economic downfall?
I hate to throw a wrench into the mix but I cannot get a job in my field because most organizations ( in my field) are hiring only Masters level.

2002 I started graduate school. I was doing great, loving it.
Until tragedy came my way.
I had only 2 or 3 classes and my internship yet to complete and I had to dropped out......
Okay,, , I was academically dismissed. I went from a 3.7 to a 2.5 within a semester.

Now, 8 years later I have to start over.
Around here, its the in/out six years rule.
However, I am going to do it......um...soon as I become employed again.

Has anyone out there completed a Masters from an On-line University.
What's the cost like, in comparison to a Campus University ?
Anyone????
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 42 (view)
 
...The same frickin' people who will tell you not to change are the ones who tell you to try new thi
Posted: 3/2/2010 8:10:01 PM
Speaking of change.....what about that PROFILE FORUM ???
I tell ya,,,,, people are brutal on there.
Perfect example of people wanting to"change " .
Hoping to
How do you get a Profile Thread deleted anyway???

Are you really going to cut your hair????????????
That's going a little too far!!!!!!!
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Accumulation versus simplifying HOW ABOUT LETTING GO!!
Posted: 3/2/2010 7:42:46 PM
Today I filled 2 garbage bags with clothes,belts,purses, and shoes. In the morning I am taking them to a local Women's Treatment Center.
I've made the phone call-they are expecting me, so I won't be changing my mind.

I also talked with my niece and we are going to start planning a "Barn Sale".
She has a Barn and I know my stuff will fit in there.

Happy Birthday Little Brother today you are 50,,,, doesn't seem like 8 years since you left our physical world.
The other night, when I was reading some of the responses to my my post I began to cry.
And you know what??? I finally got angry with my Brother.
ATB,
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 41 (view)
 
get used to it here. Actual responses to one's posts are rare. Your story just doesn't register to S
Posted: 3/1/2010 11:34:32 PM
I am kinda getting use to it. And you are so right!
Some of these FORUMS go on and on and on ----- almost full circle.
Some of the posters are really nasty tooo!!!
And then again some are very nice.
For example, I received a very nice personal message (sent to my inbox) from someone.
And your response was helpful as well!!! Thank-you
So I took a risk and told the truth about a part of my "real life".

Why bother in the FORUMS if everything about "you" is next to perfect.
Notice I didn't say "PERFECT"
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Delete Time
Posted: 3/1/2010 4:48:28 PM
I'm ready for my Profile Thread to be deleted Thanks
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Delete Time
Posted: 3/1/2010 4:47:07 PM
I'm ready for this Thread to be deleted
Thanks Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Accumulation versus simplifying - which phase are you in ?
Posted: 2/28/2010 10:29:01 PM
I guess you missed my story HUH??
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Don't throw that out you can use it later for something.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:22:29 PM
I just finished reading the post and I am really angry---- Doesn't anyone have problems with stuff (well maybe Mae). Am I the only one that hangs on to stuff to keep others away?
My story is about as unpleasant to the eyes as my house.
7..... no 8 years ago my brother took his life in my basement and I found him.
Most of me died on that dreadful Sunday.
Over the years I stopped caring about myself and pushed others away.
I stopped cleaning my house. And I started collecting stuff.
Didn't matter what it was where it came from or if I needed it.
Obviously I didn't/don't need any of it.
So here I sit (squeezed into a little corner of my extra bedroom because I can no longer find my room).
I will not go into all the details of what it looks like. Lets just say I have not invited anyone (including my own son and mother) into my home for a long time.
I still clean my bathrooms but the rest is a mess.
Every day I say to myself..... Self it's time to do something about this .......
But I take one look and say ... I'll do it tomorrow.
Tomorrow comes and I say , "just take one little corner at a time" maybe clean off the dinning room table.....
I know what you are thinking???? This lady is in need of some serious counseling maybe even medication!!!!!!!!
I am doing both!!!!!!
I wish I could reach out to all of you "simplifies" and take in your energy...it would feel so refreshing.
I know, I hear there is power in prayer. Maybe you can pray for me.
If you respond to this please be gentle. I am new here at POF and the Forums.
Thanks for reading and letting me vent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ailinn:
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
NO GAMES OR DRAMA is a given!!!!!
Posted: 2/26/2010 7:24:55 PM
I think your overall profile is very nice

Just a few thoughts:
leave out the side note about "not into games drama" (or what ever you said)
Its a given we don't want games. Besides that little side note isn't going to stop someone if they are a "game player" .

Your profile name and intro line sound like........... like...........................like..........
.well like you are editable.

And last, Break up the paragraph some.
Skip some spaces in between your topics.
You have some really interesting things about your person-hood, however it all blends together. Too hard on the eyes

To bad you don't live around here--I could use a health conscious friend, I'm getting ready to let go of cigarettes...... Very concerned I will blow up like a ballo0n.

All the Best,
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
who is trying to write a perfect profil.
Posted: 2/25/2010 12:02:30 PM
Of course there is no such thing as a perfect profile!
I have to admit, initially I was looking to develop the "ideal profile".
But it's not important to me anymore--thanks to this experience.

I don't know about anyone else here,,,,, but since I've been reading the
FORUM threads... I usually look at the P's profile.
Interestingly, I read a profile that said "I don't have anything about myself that needs fixing".

Now that's a "Perfect Profile"
Yep!!!!!....I bet ya that type of person can give feedback without even looking at someones profile.
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
for the men, the photos that you post are the most important
Posted: 2/24/2010 2:25:19 PM
I've learned a lot from this adventure.
Take the kids pic's off.
Put pic's of kids/grand kids on.
More drinking pic's (I don't drink beverage alcohol will espresso do?).
X the part about quitting smoking.
How to write a grammatically correct sentence.
For the men the photos that you post are the most important part of your profile."

It most likely works both ways!
Makes me wonder why we spend so much energy writing the perfect profile.
I am in no way complaining.
The suggestions are interesting and I thank you all very much.
Speaking of profiles. I attempted to send a personal note of ,"Thanks" to one of the P's who gave me feedback---but his age range criteria only goes to 34.
I guess this is okay if all he is looking for is a romantic partner. Unfortunately he might miss out on the chance to meet a "plan old fashion friend".
All the Best
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 20 (view)
 
getting ready to let them go
Posted: 2/23/2010 8:56:28 PM
I have set my "letting go of cigarettes" date as March 18, 2010.
I just finished reading all the above post and got some very good suggestions.
I am wondering how Scarred is doing ?
Any smokers care to join me on 3/18/10 ? Lets do it together !
I've talked to a few individuals "in the Profiles" and they are contemplating joining up.
I've started a "Let Them go" Journal.
Tonight I wrote myself a letter about why I love to smoke and why I need to quit
All the Best Ailinn .
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Newbies do get a break
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:56:00 PM
Since first starting this post I have made several changes to my profile.
I invite the OP's who gave me feedback to take a look.
When I initially read your responses I thought... ..... That's Brutal................... but I got over it,,,
I went to my first POF event and was treated like a queen.
Well maybe not a queen. However the female who hosted the event was wonderful. She made me feel "Important" regardless of my profile. She took me around and introduced me to other fish (male and female). I can not say enough about the fish who welcomed me at that event.
I'll stick around a while:
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 27 (view)
 
that's what life is all about...growing...expanding your horizons...trying new things.
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:38:53 PM
Yes I agree. We have to grow and expand or we end up getting stuck in the Muck.

As far as the original idea do we need to change in order to attract those who are not attracted to us?
How important is it???
Do I need to change in order to be hired for a job or maintain a job??
Strong likelihood I will make some changes.
Do I need to change in order to keep friends who are important to me? Probably!!
Do I need to change to get that guy I'm attracted to who finds me unattractive?
Why on Gods earth would I want to?

Always examine your motives!!!!!!

Be true to yourself !! as you are the only one (besides your God) who will never leave you!!!!
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
No e-mail replies, Any constructive suggestions?????
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:32:57 AM
Thanks for the suggestions so far-
I went back and fixed a few things
by the way I have 4 "notes" in my in-box
Someone wants a date before I quit smoking.
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 1 (view)
 
No e-mail replies, Any constructive suggestions?????
Posted: 2/16/2010 5:36:31 PM
I was just sitting here thinking about chucking it in, with this online meeting stuff.

I decided to look in the FORUMS to see if anyone else is experiencing the same thing as me ......AND LOW AND BEHOLD!!!!! I found it. I haven't sent 50, but I've sent several with no response. I've even kept it simple like, "I like the picture of your dog" or I'm getting ready to quit smoking want to join me"?
Hummmm!!!! maybe it's my comments????

Dare I ask you to take a look at my profile and offer constructive suggestions??
All the Best,
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Also, I am quite short for a guy and I know women like tall guys.
Posted: 2/16/2010 5:14:40 PM
I forgot to say something:
I read your profile and it looks good to me. I think it is original.
Many females want their partner to be at least as tall as they are and some do like taller guys. I know there are females out there 5'4" and under and they will find you if you remain available.
Thanks for starting the TOPIC !!!!!!!
ATB
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
No e-mail replies, Any suggestions?
Posted: 2/16/2010 5:05:29 PM
Wow that's some pretty heavy duty feedback.
I was just sitting here thinking about chucking it in, with this online meeting stuff.

I decided to look in the FORUMS to see if anyone else is experiencing the same thing as me ......AND LOW AND BEHOLD!!!!! I found it. I haven't sent 50, but I've sent several with no response. I've even kept it simple like, "I like the picture of your dog" or I'm getting ready to quit smoking want to join me"?
Hummmm!!!! maybe it's my comments????

Dare I ask you to take a look at my profile and offer constructive suggestions??
All the Best,
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 22 (view)
 
IFor me, this whole thing boils down to one thing. Something that I am doing has caused me to invari
Posted: 2/16/2010 12:12:05 PM
DARN!!!!! I have to learn how to get my messages in sooner.
my last post was suppose to go in right under the 10:12:07 AM post!

PS I'm glad you figured that out
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 21 (view)
 
IFor me, this whole thing boils down to one thing. Something that I am doing has caused me to invari
Posted: 2/16/2010 11:54:14 AM
Heck most of us are like that!!!! If we weren't there would be no POF and there would be no "relationship endings"
Just be thankful you know when to "fold em". Some people stay in unhealthy relationships because they feel it's more difficult to get out. Or they just put up with the crap.
I like to look at it as:
"My journey to becoming the best I can be-- and the time will come when I met the person who is right for me". Just made that up.

On to the observation/perception CONCEPT::::
In other words some people aren't very good liars and some people have better listening skills than others. Like the person who discovered she was lying about her age. Oh yea!!!! do the math!!!!
Just curious,,,how did you know she fool several other individuals??

What about those pathological liars Some are just wired that way!!
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
We started right out of the chute and this has been so far beyond the typical
Posted: 2/16/2010 11:09:16 AM
After about 18 months (and for some people much sooner).We pretty much know everything about the other person. Strengths and liabilities, likes, dislikes,true beliefs,values,ethics etc. The initial infatuation is not as strong.
We have made a commitment;;;we have taken the relationship to a higher level.

We may start out saying "I have no expectations" or "lets keep it simple". But over time, it is impossible not to have expectations. I'm not talking about unrealistic expectations---I'm saying typical expectations.

Do you know any happy couples who have been together for several years? Ask BOTH if "work" is involved in the relationship? If BOTH say no,,,, I'll be surprised.

If you have a job and enjoy your work---doesn't mean you don't work at it---just means you enjoy it!!!!!! Make sense?????
Something I hope to work at when the time and person is right for me.
We all deserve and healthy romantic life......yes we do
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 14 (view)
 
The goal on first dates is to get to know one another. Once you got to know this girl, you found tha
Posted: 2/15/2010 10:35:44 PM
I agree with the post above....Just keep it simple. Nothing personal.
Sorry if what I said was offensive---wasn't meant to be. I said 14 months for no particular reason.
Truth be told, I love to hear stories like yours ......gives me hope!!!.
All the Best,
Ailinn
PS how about an update in 18 months
Why 18 months???? cuze that's when the work begins!!!!!
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
If you are not attracting those who you are attracted to, how do you change?
Posted: 2/15/2010 10:15:07 PM
Okay, I'll be honest-- I am a NEWBIE .
Going back to my first message/post , perhaps I should have use the word "deserving" instead of "entitled".
So my statement would have been something like this,,,
However, we are "deserving " of happiness we just have to work to make that happen.
So I see we are talking about body language now.
First I need to clarify what type of relationships we are talking about. Friends? Romantic ? a boss at work, ???
The initial TOPIC seemed to be referencing a" Romantic attraction/non-attraction".
If this is the case ---I still believe the person needs to let go of the desire to change "who their are" in order to impress/attract someone who is not interested.
Now if we are talking about someone who tends to repel (for lack of better word) other people in general, it might be a good idea to take a class in communication or read up on it.
What did you mean by ,,,,
"someone who is able to coordinate those observations with true perception, they think the person is doing something underhanded or sneaky.?
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 14 (view)
 
By the time I finish reading all the post I forgot what the original topic was--................
Posted: 2/14/2010 6:18:25 PM
Something about what to do on Valentines day if you are not in a relationship. Or if you are feeling lonely about "not being in a relationship".
I read several good responses. I agree that the Holiday can be celebrated with any/all Loved ones......
But if we are talking about being without a Romantic Relationship...be thankful that this is one Holiday you don't have to spend money.....
Oh and don't forget about the other Holiday "Sweetest Day"........
Hallmark....gotta hand it to them
All the Best,
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 517 (view)
 
HELLO FROM AILINN
Posted: 2/14/2010 5:08:32 PM
Hi everyone! I joined POF 1/19/2010. Just beginning to read the millions of FORUMS.
Important News: March 18th, some of us on POF are letting go of cigarettes.
Watch for a NEW FORUM,,,something about LETTING GO.
All the Best,
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Beyond the first date
Posted: 2/14/2010 2:15:20 PM
Whoops my bad,,, he must have snuck that up date in while I was typing. or sleeping!!
Thanks
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Beyond the first date
Posted: 2/14/2010 2:10:45 PM
Please read post from "Padman" he's right on target. To the guy who's first date was 36 hours and still together after 4 months,,, I 'd like to hear an update after 14 months.
And finally, to the person who started the post,,,, how about an update?
All the Best,
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
If you are not attracting those who you are attracted to, how do you change?
Posted: 2/14/2010 1:52:49 PM
Wow! finally found a FORUM that's not 50 pages long!!! (I am brand new at FORUMS so please bear with me)
How frustrating it must be for someone who actually believes they must change who they are in order to gain attraction from someone else. When I was younger-I never even thought of that.
I just felt the rejection and ran into my cave!
To the person who started the topic: I enjoyed your joke about Passover.
To the person who talked about "not being entitled to anything": This is a little deep and maybe I misunderstood. However, we are entitled to happiness. We just have to work to make that happen. In other words, I am deserving of a partner but if he's not attracted to me, I have to move on.
Of course this was not my perception when I was 20 or 30 years-old. Thus, one of the benefits of maturing. Hey maybe that could be a new FORUM TOPIC.......NOPE;;;; I see there is one already started.
Thanks for reading, I'll make the next post a little briefer.
All the Best,
Ailinn
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Confused..Tell the truth
Posted: 2/13/2010 9:46:17 PM
To be young again---the good old days--when I wanted people to tell me what to do because I did not trust my own judgement.
Today all I need to do is go "inside and listen". The answers are all there.
If someone asked me to call them every day to tell them I was thinking about them, I would say "I am very sorry but I can not do that."
Then I would continue for someone secure.
 Ailinn
Joined: 1/19/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Beyond the first date
Posted: 2/13/2010 9:23:03 PM
I liked what moon75 suggested about maybe talking on the phone one more time before you end it. If you decide not to continue the relationship/friendship you will at least be able to have a closure so to speak.
Your initial question about how to keep the conversation going is pretty "relative". The bottom line is, you either do or you don't. Sorta like when giving a presentation. When you start to fumble for words------it's time to quit.
 
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