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 Author Thread: Why have we evolved to sleep?
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 20 (view)
Why have we evolved to sleep?
Posted: 6/28/2010 2:23:24 PM
To look at why we need to sleep, it's best to look at what happens to us when we don't.

If people don't sleep, they tend to suffer from some of the following:
Memory loss
Inability to solve simple problems
Delusions about their reality e.g. hallucinations
Slower reaction times

If you look up sleep deprivation on wikipedia, you'll see a whole load of stuff about what happens when we don't. Basically, we recharge our brains whilst we sleep. A comparison would be that you can use your laptop on battery for a while, but then it needs recharging. We could have much feebler laptops that would last a whole lot longer on less battery, but they'd get work done a lot slower.

The answer to why we have evolved to need sleep is that we are a better functioning organism, able to reproduce better, if we have a pattern of waking and sleeping. I believe that if we did not have to sleep we would function on a much less intelligent, more basic level.
An animal that sleeps conserves its strength and energy, thereby needing less food. If we were constantly awake, we would be constantly needing greater intake of food. It is therefore only rational that we should strike a balance between active and non active phases. However, we need to be awake long enough to claim territory, have a good chance of catching our food and so on. A good way of considering this is how some animals hibernate through winter - they survive to breed and fatten up during the warm periods, then have (although it's technically not sleeping) a long sleep through winter when they would need a lot more energy, and it helps to sustain them
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
The movie of your life.......
Posted: 5/26/2010 12:16:09 PM
Mine would be called 'The one, the one, and the one?'

Noel from Hearsay as me, since he's my most common look alike referrence.

A guy goes on a series of dates with various women, sure that all of them will be the one. Following a series of disappointments, semi-relationships, nightmares, ecstatic one night encounters, attempts at self improvement, denial that he can be improved upon and heavy drinking, there's some kind of happy ending involving being happy and optimistic about a future that hasn't yet arrived.

The whole thing would be viewed as a series of dates. A bit like 4 Weddings.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
will women ever understand men?
Posted: 5/26/2010 12:07:54 PM
Well, how long is a piece of string? Every person is different, there won't be two answers the same. But here, I'll do my best, bearing in mind these are just my own opinions:

What is that makes a man decide that you are 'long term' material
or just a bit of fun?

That's something that only becomes apparent when you compare your long term goals with theirs. If she wants a long term thing and so do I (I always do), then if we get on then I'll go with it. If she just wants a 'bit of fun' then I won't really bother.

What makes a man that says he isn't looking for long term..
turns up with 'looking' for 'long term' on their profile?

Girls will sleep with you if they think that you are looking for long term. Usually it takes between 1-4 dates before a girl asks me back to stay the night at hers. I never do the asking, and have lately decided that I might just say no until maybe the 8th date minimum - but that's extremely hard when you're at the end of a great date with someone you find attractive, especially after a couple of drinks! I find things can tend to fall apart quite quickly afterwards, as one party can lose interest or find they weren't that interested. I've been both on the not interested and the not been interested in sides this year, neither is enjoyable, and both followed after what had been until that point very enjoyable dates.

How do you define a 'long term' relationship..

I say six months.

is it something that could lead towards moving in together
..or just open to the possibility of having a' proper relationship'
and not be messed around?

I know lots of people who have long term relationships in the years category and don't live together. I see moving in together as something that you probably will just want to do after a year. After three years, if they don't want to, something's not right.

As for a dating site, well that's the anonymity of the internet at work for you. People can claim to be whatever they want.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 234 (view)
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/16/2010 2:33:35 PM
I expect the woman to start splitting with me from the second date in. This, as pointed out, is not 1946. Traditionally guys would pay because they earn more, it's not like that anymore. Women wanted working equality, they got it, that carries with it acting like an adult and not some teenager whose looking for a sugar daddy.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 22 (view)
Should I be running at this point?
Posted: 3/16/2010 2:31:50 PM
My friend, you are being ridiculous.

You have made a long post on the internet slating this girl, telling all these internet users how she is a bad mom, that you suspect she might be banned from driving, that she's crazy and jealous. And then you come out with this stuff about how you'll stick around for a while.

If you go on the internet asking for strangers advice on whether you should not be with someone, you should not be with them, period. or what, in a year think 'hey I'm glad I didn't listen to that internet advice since now it's great.'

If you like someone then you should like them and not mind the bad bits about them. You certainly shouldn't be on a forum asking people if they think that she is good enough for you, which is what this appears to be.

I feel pretty sorry for her.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 29 (view)
Do guys like clingy women?
Posted: 2/13/2010 12:37:05 PM
I want to love a woman who loves herself. This means to me that we should both be separate people who also exist within a unit. I believe that you should love someone in a vacuum; by this I mean that even if you were not in their life and you just observed them like a god or fairy or something, then you'd still love them. Many people don't love like that, they love people because they get love in return. To people who love because they receive love, clingyness is appealing.

Short answer, no, clingy is annoying and pointless. Self respect, inner strength and a pure heart are what matter.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
Hates his mother...... will hate you?
Posted: 2/13/2010 12:19:45 PM
This is a very sad story. It sounds to me like he is not even close to a stage where he will be able to have a meaningful relationship. Relationships involve a lot of putting up with things that somebody else does that you don't really agree with, even if they are a great match and perfect for you. Can you think of a single person whose almost every decision you think is good? There's only one person in my life like that and it's my brother.

If he has a very strong reaction to simple things that most women will want to do, then he needs to deal with those issues on a fundamental level before he should engage in any type of dating or relationship. Even were he to date tomboys only, then it's not fair to put someone else in a position where they may feel trapped into not doing something to avoid upsetting him.

Alas, this guy is not emotionally mature enough to even date. He evidently has some bad emotional problems to deal with. It's harsh to say this and I like to think that there's hope for everybody, but I wouldn't let him near my sister with a twenty foot pole.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 1 (view)
I want to look up at the stars
Posted: 2/11/2010 12:21:46 PM
"I want to look up at the stars with my breath steaming in the night air,
Holding her hand,
Wondering how I ever thought I was happy before I met her.
I want to pull yet another sick day and risk getting fired,
Because she's lying across my arm,
And I don't want to wake her up.
I want to be stopped in my tracks in twenty years time,
When I catch a scent that reminds me,
Of the January day I met her.
I want to abandon my own dreams to help her pursue hers,
Then wake to find,
Our dreams were the same all along."

I wrote this tonight. I was thinking of using it as my profile instead of the one I have at the moment but unfortunately I think people are a bit cynical to feel this kind of way these days. Anyway, give me your thoughts.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 149 (view)
He lied about his age...only by two years....should i be concerned?
Posted: 2/6/2010 5:26:44 AM
It's very easy to step in and be judgmental. But consider a normal day of your life, it might go like so:

Wake up and go to work.
Colleague asks you how you are. You say 'fine' because it's easier than telling the truth, that you're a bit down because you feel a bit lonely and your job is unfulfilling. LIE NUMBER ONE.
Boss comes up and asks how you're getting on with your new work. You tell them that it's going well and that you're enjoying it (you aren't).
Your mother calls you during your lunch break. She asks what you've been up to. You claim that you had a nice quiet evening because she doesn't need to know that you went out and got a bit drunk with your friends.
You get home and go onto PoF. You put that you're a couple of years younger than you are, because you feel a bit insecure and feel your age is working against you, and even though it's just a number people will judge you on it, despite the fact that everything you could do 2 years ago you can still do.
And that's 4...

Lying is a part of everyone's daily life. We tell lies about most things we do. You're only able to catch him out on this one because it has a numerical value. Forget it and move on.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 108 (view)
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/30/2010 9:56:11 AM
I don't personally have much interest in sending lots of mails. I'd rather just go and meet someone straight off.

For all the emails that you can send, usually you know within the first ten seconds after meeting someone whether or not you find them attractive enough to want to spend time with. I'd rather mail someone to say 'hey, your profile looks interesting, fancy meeting over a coffee?' than trying to find out about them by emails.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
How to love someone with a mental illness
Posted: 1/30/2010 9:35:24 AM
A personality can be explained by a mental illness; it cannot be separated from it.
If somebody is violent then you cannot excuse it on the grounds that it can be labelled as a mental illness. It's not like there's a hidden person and the illness is making them do things. The illness/disorder is as much a part of that person's personality as is their kindness, their love, their liking for cheese etc. If you try to separate them out you will only end up excusing unacceptable behaviour.

My best friend has recently been diagnosed as suffering from a mental illness for his whole life. Lately it has caused him to ruin his whole life and make bad decisions, but it has always been present. My entire friendship with him has involved his illness and it's a fundamental part of who he is. It doesn't make any difference whether doctors give it a clever name.

People who are violent need to be kept away from the people they hurt, and especially as your children involved. Unless this man is somehow cured (extremely unlikely) then you would not be acting as a mother if you allow him to come within a hundred feet of your children. It only takes a punch to the head to kill somebody; if he hurt your children then I do not believe you would see it as excusable because it was caused by his illness. Treat yourself with the same respect you give your children.

There is a better man for you out there somewhere.
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