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 Author Thread: Lower Back Pain Lumbar Epidural.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Lower Back Pain Lumbar Epidural.
Posted: 3/13/2013 9:19:38 AM
My advice... Listen to your doctor regarding health matters, not your lawyer.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Is it better to meet people through other people?
Posted: 1/4/2013 9:58:09 AM
*Blech.. I smell a PUA.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/20/2012 8:58:14 PM

Facials don't do much at all..chemical peels, laser resurfacing, microdermebrasion, etc..is where it's at...yes I'm a closet metrosexual
lol, As a skin care professional, I can tell you to make facials your mainstay. Too much of the other stuff can make your skin worse. ;P

OT, I think the OP should be more worried about his message restrictions than his skin care regimine.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Small town, no one local on Pof... what now?
Posted: 12/20/2012 6:45:22 PM
Paul, you really should consider lifting some of the message restrictions you have on your profile.

I met my boyfriend on this site. If he had had your restrictions we never would have met. When I filled out my profile I listed myself as interested in "dating" and not looking for a "commitment or anything serious". I wanted a relationship but I didn't want it with just anyone. (I'm sure that I'm not the only woman who has their profile set up this way. ) I messaged him to say "hi" as he was a fellow forumite, never thinking that anything would come of it. (He lived 100 miles away!)... Long story short, I messaged him, we met and hit it off. A year later I quit my job and moved 100 miles to be with him. Sure it was tough while we were doing the long distance thing but so far it's been well worth it.

Think of it this way. The worst that will happen if you lift some of the restrictions is that you will have more messages. All you have to do is sift through them. You don't even HAVE to respond if you aren't interested. Maybe the woman of your dreams lives 1 mile further away than your listed limit.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 35 (view)
 
your gut instinct against your significant others words.
Posted: 12/19/2012 12:17:22 PM
I'd end the relationship. There is no way I would be comfortable with my SO having twat shots of his "bestie" (with whom he was once in a relationship) on his phone.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Date: First Contact
Posted: 12/15/2012 9:42:14 PM
I'd get it out of the way if I were you. A friendly, casual hug at the beginning of the date when you see her next will be an easy way to break the ice. It will ease your nervousness so you don't spend the whole date worrying about touching her.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What would you do
Posted: 12/14/2012 8:56:06 PM
I think that prosecuting their mother would hurt your kids more than the $1500 is worth. Think long and hard about this before you persue any sort of legal action.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Need advice with baby daddy
Posted: 11/23/2012 8:23:29 PM

His job hasn't been paying well lately and hes not been able to pay all the child support to her lately. So, she's using this as leverage so he cant be happy with me. She's jealous of us, so she threatens to take him back to court if he keeps bringing his kids ove to my house. She also threatens not to let him see them.

He SHOULD go back to court. If his job hasn't been paying enough to make his payments then he needs to have the courts adjust for this. He also needs to have them formally issue his visitation rights. That way when she says she's not going to let him see them he can let the judge know she is in violation of the court order. He should document each violation as it occurs.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Ladies what attracts you about a man on POF?
Posted: 11/23/2012 8:24:33 AM

I would never even look at the profile of a person with your username.

I would look at a profile with that username, but once I saw the "belly" pic I'd lose interest.

OP, be sure that you are coming across the way in which you intend. I wish I could be of more help, but as another poster pointed out, things in NYC are different than anywhere else (certainly different than how they are in the Midwest). Perhaps you might want to try spending more of your time volunteering. I've found that the people you meet doing community service generally have more depth than those you might meet in a bar.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Dont understand this puzzle
Posted: 11/23/2012 8:04:37 AM
You must understand that the reason you are not their "type" will vary from woman to woman. For some it will be that you are thin, for others it will be the full on facial hair, this one might not like the skulls in all your pics and the "MrHorror" username while that one won't like the full head of messy, uncombed hair. It really is just that for whatever reason, she is not interested. Your best bet is to just move on to the next profile. Who you are isn't going to be a good fit for many women, but then again... You're only looking for ONE right? :)
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Whats with the fish pictures!
Posted: 11/23/2012 7:54:20 AM
Maybe they don't have many photos of them outside of family events and they don't want their mom's pic plastered all over the WWW. Could be they were extra proud of their smile in that pic. Maybe they are taking POF's advice and posting pic of them DOING something. It might be one of the only pics they had with their eyes open. Who knows? My advice would be that if you don't like fishing or men who fish move on. If you do, send a message. :)
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Ex-girlfriend won't give back deceased mothers ring
Posted: 11/21/2012 7:37:29 PM

Regular women might expect something weird to happen during the freebee and to find her paintings burning in a box on the porch. I mean - where is the suggestion that wouldn't occur?


What I would actually expect the OP to do is to cancel the meet several times so that he can continue contacting her to be "mean." I think that if the ring truly meant something to him he never would have given it to someone he barely knew. IMO, he's only using it now to play the victim and still stay in contact with her so he can fully vent his anger.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Weather and the search for love
Posted: 11/21/2012 7:31:39 PM
I was friends with a woman in my early twenties who was like this. All of her relationships started around Halloween and ended around Memorial Day. I don't think any of them went beyond the 9 month mark. It was an unconcious thing for her, she didn't even know she was doing it until I pointed it out to her.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Girl stood me up, have I made the right call?
Posted: 11/20/2012 4:31:01 PM
OP, why not just accept the rejection like a big boy, treat her cordially at the work place, and not worry about making it more than it needs to be? There's no need to ignore her or treat her like a pariah if you come face to face with her.

it was a cheap two dollar keychain from Disneyland.

Hmmm.. I didn't think you could even get a cup of tap water at Disneyland for $2.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How do I help GF who was in a physically/mentally abusive relationship
Posted: 11/20/2012 4:04:56 PM

The best thing you can do is get her to understand that you are her protector, rather the opposite, which was her past relationship. It's true that a past abusive relationship is an issue to get over, but the man's traditional role throughout humanity is to protect what is important to him, including his woman. I believe that if you adamantly project this, she'll be okay.

Open the door for her ALWAYS, even if it's a little awkward to get up, or whatever.
If there is EVER a problem with ordering food, or going out, handle it. Resolve the situation yourself. Protect her.
Anywhere you go, bring two sweatshirts/jackets/whatever. It's easy to judge if someone is cold. If she is getting cold, have her wear it, even if she says she doesn't need it right now because you don't want her cold possibly later.


Sorry, but no. It's wonderful to want to be supportive, but doing these things... taking over stressful situations etc, is only going to keep her from learning to stand on her own. She needs to learn that she is smart enough and capable enough to handle ANYTHING that comes her way. Anything else will simply discourage her growth and healing.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why so scarce
Posted: 11/20/2012 8:18:53 AM
I really don't see where anyone could get the "conceited" vibe from the post or your profile. I look at the OP and see a beautiful young woman who is struggling to learn to be approachable. OP, some of the others have had great advice for you. (Your username REALLY gives the wrong idea) What I would tell you, is to make an effort to be friendly. You are a gorgeous woman who comes across as Uber- confident and this will intimidate some men. Give them some help, strike up conversations with them. Let them know that you are fun and easy to talk with. You don't need to ask them out if you are uncomfortable with it, but you may need to do the first approach to let them know you are interested.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Ex-girlfriend won't give back deceased mothers ring
Posted: 11/20/2012 7:33:29 AM

Did you miss the small fact it was his deceased mother's ring? And that he just made a thread on a dating site forum about it? Obviously it is that important to him. Come on, people. Wake up and get some decency.

If the ring meant that much to him he never would have given it to a "girlfriend." Something like a family heirloom stays in the family, (set aside for a WIFE or a DAUGHTER) it isn't given to someone you've known less than a year. IMO, it's pretty obvious that the ring didn't mean that much to him and he is only now making a big stink about it to try to engage in more drama with his ex.

OP, Sorry but move on and learn your lesson.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Need serious help with this girl!
Posted: 11/16/2012 4:07:10 PM
Sorry, Puddin'. The best advice I can give you isn't what you want to hear. DO NOT CONTACT this girl again. If she texts/messages you, fine. But DO. NOT. INITIATE. CONTACT. WITH. HER. AGAIN. In the meantime ask out another girl, take a class, hang out with friend whatever you need to do to keep busy. If she wants to contact you she knows how. If she doesn't contact you she is not interested and no amount of coersion is going to change that. You will only end up being called a "psycho" or being FIRMLY placed in the friendzone.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
The Zed Controversy
Posted: 11/8/2012 2:54:21 PM
It might not be an actual "French thing" I just know that 'z' is pronounced 'zed' in French. I thought that might have something to do with it. (I'm unfamilar with the origins of English.) :D
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
The Zed Controversy
Posted: 11/8/2012 1:56:03 PM
You might not want to hear this, depending on how you feel about your country's 2nd language, but zed is French.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
My girlfriend's history is bothering me.. please advise.
Posted: 11/8/2012 10:12:41 AM

My maturity, practical experience, and eagerness to find a girlfriend will make me an excellent candidate for any girls who are out there looking for a nice guy. I would love to begin my life with a girl, and am confident that I would be a beneficial addition your family tree.


From your profile (created 3 days ago), OP. I would think she is the one who should be worried about giving you oral.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Competitive Date Strategies
Posted: 11/7/2012 8:27:36 PM
Or...
5) Play your best and actually lose (it's possible). Be man enough to lose with dignity. Enjoy the rest of your date, maybe go for ice cream or something. If you like the lady who just mopped the bowling alley with your ass, you ask her out again to enjoy more of her company. Don't be one of those pathetic asshats who whines and feels emasculated because he lost to a girl.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Two dates...
Posted: 11/6/2012 7:10:13 PM

I'm an entertainer (magic and mind control)

Sounds like you could use some practice. Maybe next time try waving your hand in front of her face and saying, "This is not the fish you are looking for". Or maybe you could just message her and say that you don't feel you are a match. :D
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Trying to see through loss to the relationship I'm in
Posted: 11/6/2012 6:59:51 PM
So you are not willing to try to meet your own emotional needs (getting therapy, dealing with the high stress level you are under, and properly grieving your loss) but you expect that your boyfriend will be able to jump in and read your mind as to what you need. Stop looking at him as your other half.
....I tend to adapt/ fit in with whatever I'm presented with...I can except people's quirks and flaws and ways of being and I modify my lifestyle to suit....
This ^^^^^ says alot. (The fact that you change who you are and how you live to fit a relationship.) Keep in mind that he is not responsible for you, YOU are responsible for yourself and your wellness. Healthy relationships are those that are between whole people. IMO, you should really make the time for therapy. Even if it means you need to cut back on classes.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
New relationship vs married couples
Posted: 11/5/2012 10:15:28 AM
#1. Hold her hand. When you are out in public together, sitting on the couch together, driving in the car, sitting in a restauraunt, walking the dog, ANY CHANCE YOU GET. Touching is so important in relationships and it seems to be one of the first things to go.

#2. Give her love notes. My boyfriend will sometimes send me these incredible texts messages late at night that way I have them to read first thing in the morning. There is no better way to start my day than hearing just how much he loves and appreciates me. I write him little notes, too. Sometimes they're sweet, sometimes they're explicit ;). I will leave them various places (on my pillow, taped to his truck door handle, the bathroom mirror) or I'll mail them in a card. Sometimes they're long and deep and sometimes they are short and playful.

#3. Practice kissing. I read somewhere that couples who feel they are lacking closeness should try to kiss longer. "They" said to kiss for atleast 10 seconds every time you are apart for an extended period (time yourselves to get a feel for 10 seconds). I'm not sure how necessary the time limit is but I definately like the idea of focusing on the kiss- really being present for it and not off in your head rushing somewhere else.

#4. Date night! I love date night. Getting all dolled up, doing my hair and make up, ummmhmmm. Works for me.

#5. Cook her dinner. If you can't cook get take out. Eat it at the table by candlelight.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 47 (view)
 
You're a good man.
Posted: 11/5/2012 8:58:06 AM
OP, you should assume that she means exactly what she says. But just in case, the next time you see her, bend her over the kitchen table and give her a railing she won't soon forget. It covers all the bases, IMO.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Ok guys, what do you think to this??
Posted: 11/4/2012 4:31:00 PM
It's as though you are looking for a reason to take umbrage.


That was my thought too. It sounds as though the OP was looking for any reason to discontinue the chat. OP, conversations don't always follow the script we might be used to.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Dating tips after relocating
Posted: 11/4/2012 10:53:29 AM
I'm sure that you aren't the only single person who's goint through this. Why not organize a single's social and invite people from all the local churches. It will give you the opportunity to meet singles from many other churches at one time.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
My kid is guy repellent?
Posted: 11/4/2012 10:18:17 AM
I would guess that it's your attitude towards others, not your kid. The whole "my way or the highway" thing doesn't promote balanced partnerships.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Prove your worth
Posted: 11/2/2012 3:32:03 PM

I didn't tell him my boundaries before I dated him those two times x I want him to prove his worth.
You seem very manipulative and controlling. This man would do well to run away from you and your drama.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Friends with benefits rules
Posted: 11/2/2012 3:26:42 PM
Honey, stop trying to put people in labelled boxes. Each person and each situation is different. Some people will have monogamous FWBs others will have a completely casual relationships. It really is all about what the people involved want and are ok with. What the rest of the world thinks the "rules" should be doesn't matter.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Where to meet new people?
Posted: 10/25/2012 9:37:24 PM
You can meet new people everywhere. If you find yourself talking to the same people make more of an effort to talk to other people. I always recommend that people be active in things they are actually interested in. That way the people you meet will always have something in common with you.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 487 (view)
 
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/25/2012 9:32:35 PM

Women can get sex whenever!!!!! There is no work for a women to get laid! Fat ugly 400lb women can get d ick whenever! Most women are stuck up picky b itches! Women have all the power and choice! I f ucking hate it! It's f ucking ridiculous!

Being bitter and angry about it isn't going to get you what you want. Learn to accept reality without the anger and you stand a much better chance of making a real connection with someone.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Trying to start a relationship
Posted: 10/25/2012 10:08:29 AM
Relationships are not the holy grail. The best piece of advice I can give you is to stop focusing on trying to find a relationship. Shift your priority to meeting men to see if you might be interested in them. Take your time actually getting to know them instead of trying to commit to someone you've JUST MET.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Continuously lied to and being treated like a doormat.
Posted: 10/25/2012 9:24:59 AM

What should I do?

Get some therapy. I'm going to say this as nicely as I possibly can... There is something seriously wrong with you that you would choose to have someone like this in your life. THIS is the man you WANT to be with?
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Online Dating & Distance
Posted: 10/23/2012 6:56:00 PM

Only a minority of lonely people will it work -- but even then, small small minority.

That's a hell of an assumption. Miles and I dated long distance (2 hour drive) for almost a year. I don't think that either of us would have qualified as "lonely people" by anyone's definition.

OP- I would recommend that you don't consider a LDR unless YOU are willing to relocate eventually. Don't expect to be able to continue it indefinitely and don't put the onus of relocation on the other person.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Date nears - no number and chatting other than emails on POF
Posted: 10/23/2012 4:23:06 PM
I would always meet face to face before giving out my phone number. It was a decision I made after some terrible meets with unstable men. Even though I don't give out my number, I've never stood anyone up in my life. Contrary to what some fishies may believe, there are many good women who have had negative experiences and still remain unjaded and open to dating.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Strange distance after sex - What to do?
Posted: 10/23/2012 4:11:11 PM
I hate to be a downer here but REALLY? Why he's doing this... doesn't matter. What he's thinking.. doesn't matter. The reality of the situation is that he's a grown man who has chosen to no longer contact you or respond to your messages. Sorry, OP, he is not interested.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
dating in college at age 28?
Posted: 10/23/2012 3:44:30 PM
Actually, I think college will give you more of a chance to meet someone. Try joining organizations that interest you (the bigger your circle of aquaintences the better your odds of meeting compatible women). If you do decide to stick with the online route, get a profile review. IMO, the whole point of your profile should be to make WOMEN want to contact you. If I search for men in your area what I see about your profile is a picture that doesn't really show you and the headline, "I'm kind of an As%hole". Not the best sales pitch.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Fashion -What you wear
Posted: 10/22/2012 6:51:17 PM
Personally, I'm not a fan of the old "bait and switch." Wear what you would wear on a normal day. Let the lady know what she's really going to get.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Walk in my shoes
Posted: 10/19/2012 3:44:29 PM
I wonder how many of those messages where "hey" or "hi sexy". Did you put a filter for the IE crowd? I would bet that that would have cut the number significantly. What age ranges messaged you? (I'm just curious)
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Scary Experience- Thoughts?
Posted: 10/19/2012 3:38:08 PM
I would recommend that you don't go to your favorite place or one that you frequent often. If you do and the date goes poorly you may have to find a new happy hour. ;)
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Older man dating younger woman, parents involved
Posted: 10/18/2012 10:28:36 PM
The way that I see it you have two options. #1. Kowtow to everyone elses' expectations of you and their idea of what is right/wrong or #2. Say fvck it and live your life how YOU feel is right. The girl is legally an adult. She has the right to date whomever she wants, if it is you, count yourself lucky.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How do u feel about it
Posted: 10/17/2012 9:05:00 AM
I agree with U Make it Entertaining. Get involved with your community, OP. Voluteering has always helped get me through the holidays. Join Big Sisters- tons of kids need a positive role model, volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, or join Meals on Wheels. If you think YOU'RE lonely, imagine how tough this season is for a 75 year old shut in. There are tons of opportunities for you to create meaningful change in the lives of others. While it may not fill the void you imagine in your life, it can certainly distract you from it. :)
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Why would a man, knowing how I feel about him, ask me advice about other woman?
Posted: 10/17/2012 8:24:48 AM

That may be his way of telling you that he's not interested or reminding you that you're not the only woman he's talking to as maybe a hint to stop being clingy. That's just my guess,


That's my guess too. Sorry, OP, but IMO your best bet is to step back from this situation. You obviously can't be just his friend, and he just isn't interested in you romantically.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
should i have bikini pics
Posted: 10/3/2012 11:06:55 PM
I would recommend that you try taking them down to see what the response is. If you get fewer messages from the pervs you'll know it was your pics. You can always repost them if nothing changes.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Does anyone use a food dehydrator - is it worth it?
Posted: 10/3/2012 4:10:01 PM
I borrowed my parents' dehydrator and am planning on drying sweet potatoes to use as dog treats :)
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 10/3/2012 3:59:59 PM
Hey, neighbor. My guess is that you're not reading the signals women are sending you. As cowboy said, take up some interests where women abound. I always recommend dance lessons. When I was taking salsa lessons there would be 6 or 7 women in the class and 2/ MAYBE 3 men.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why no photo?
Posted: 10/3/2012 3:53:21 PM
I went for months recently with no photo. I had previously had one of me with my dog but the photo nazis deleted it. So I pouted for awhile. (It made no sense to me that having NO picture was acceptable while a picture of me with a pet was off limits.) Sorry for the tangent.

OT the easiest way to deal with this is to add the "must have photo to contact this user" filter.
 1bellanella
Joined: 1/24/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
is a cake ok ????
Posted: 10/3/2012 12:43:37 PM
I think that she will be happy with any sort of "thank you". If you don't feel like the cake is enough you could get her a gift certificate for a massage or if you want to splurge, a full day at the spa. She'll probablly just be happy to know that it is going to a home where it can be appreciated.
 
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