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 Author Thread: Would appreciate a review of my Profile please
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Would appreciate a review of my Profile please
Posted: 2/12/2019 8:13:47 AM
Greg, you asked for a review of your profile, the ladies were trying to be helpful. I don't see a reason why they would purposely give you bad advice. I know how frustrating trying to do a good profile is. I've been trying to give mine a little polish and have had to make some revisions. After going over their comments, I think I may have to do some more revising. If you didn't want their help, you shouldn't have asked.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Why do some women want to talk on the phone while driving their car?
Posted: 2/10/2019 2:22:19 PM

I've got an idea here ! How bout ME & YOU & STS wearing tags that say ... > ROBOT < ... Then we can sort of robotwalk over to our fav locations, in cognito ! What do you think ? SMART right ? !

Can I invite myself to tag along? it would be an honor to buy everyone dinner after shopping.


Ahhhh, what a life !!!

Yes it is!
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What should I do now?
Posted: 2/10/2019 2:02:21 PM
Sorry Chongpeace, Sometimes, no answer is the answer. Best just to move on. Good luck!
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 149 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/10/2019 1:58:15 PM

I don't think the broke 'animal' dudes fare any better in their mating 'game' than broke 'human' dudes~

I understand a lady not wanting to date a broke man. I would like the men who my sisters date, to at least have a job.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Creepy profile pictures and it's just getting worse.
Posted: 2/10/2019 1:51:08 PM

I actually feel sorry at times, for both men and women who are " very good looking " or " beautiful ". Seems to me they attract the wrong kind of people, all through their lives. And although this is not always the case, it seems to ring true for many. If one " thinks " the mirage of outside beauty can some how equate to a great or " exciting " possible relationship, I have news for them.


Good afternoon Backcreek. This quote is very true, I think. I've a sister who is extremely attractive but seems to be very unlucky in love, always seems to attract the wrong men. I'm hoping at some point she will learn to filter them out.


I hope that " true companion " will not mind me making a comment concerning her obvious beauty ~[/ quote]

I also think "true companion" is quite beautiful. For some reason a beautiful woman seems to send other women into a frenzy. I'm not sure if it's envy or they think she may be living a better life style. Judging by comments my sister has had to endure from other women, I think it may be true, women can be quite mean with other women, when they think she may be better looking.


women wondering if their piss-flaps are gonna be hanging out/dropping out the outfit. Some very creative and funny comments


Does not matter how beautiful a lady is when vulgarity like this falls from her lips, she just seems ugly.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/10/2019 1:07:57 PM
I've found women seem to prefer taller men. I'm around 5'7, still, I get dates. That tells me that some women don't need a real tall dude.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 1074 (view)
 
Bald guys
Posted: 2/3/2019 1:41:53 PM

Nobody knows more than us baldies that many women don't care for bald guys


That's not true at all. Some women love bald men.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/3/2019 1:33:18 PM

Just because we all have expectations, it doesn’t mean they are always reasonable. Some men might have the expectation that they will get sex from the woman if they pay for dinner. That doesn’t make their expectations okay just because they have them

I think most in society would agree, men expecting sex after paying for dinner isn't reasonable. I think it's quite reasonable for a lady to expect her dinner will be paid for when a gentleman asks her out. Opinions may very on this, that's okay. The poster that seems to be having a problem with it doesn't seem to understand that. It would seem to me he thinks only his opinion is right. Which leads to hyperbole like this.


Some people have the mentality that "the man's SUPPOSED to" -- as if he owed her money or something, lol



You say that you have no issue with a lady expecting you to pay for dinner, yet you say you’ve never run into “this type of lady”. What type of lady do you mean? And more to the point, how do you know you wouldn’t have an issue with her if you’ve never run into "this type of lady"?


I've never run into a type of lady who behaved as if I owed her money. I've polled my friends, they have no run ins with any ladies demanding money from them. To say a lady who has a expectation that her date will pay for her dinner is somehow making a demand for money is a gigantic leap of logic and is a extremely stupid remark. I decide which lady I will ask out, I make the decision to spend my money on her. To turn that into, she somehow demanded my money is just hyperbole and one of the stupidest comments I have seen posted in quite some time. That poster doesn't seem to understand, it's a date, not a mugging.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/2/2019 3:09:06 PM

Thinking that if the "date" went well, he could get some stinky-pinky in the back of his truck?

Is this type of vulgarity really necessary here, with ladies present. My mother isn't here , someone's else's is though.


It's about going out on a date with someone, and expecting "guy has to pay" -- holding onto nostalgia (which is for nostrils), despite the world being Very Very different nowadays in the working/finances world

I will strongly disagree with you here. I don't think paying for a date makes me nostalgic. I can assure you I'm not a nostril. I have no issue with treating my dates or even them having the expectation that I'm going to pay. I'm not intimidated by women having their own expectations, We all have them. Despite what you say, none of the men I know have ever, or would ever, expect to take a lady out and not pay. To say this standard is outdated is being disingenuous on your part. It doesn't matter if things are different these days in the working or financial world. Working has no relation to the dating world. Dating is about romance, spending time with someone, making them feel special, hopefully developing it into something more. If that requires some money, so be it. I can always make more money. I consider it money well spent and because this is my choice, I certainly never feel taken for granted, even when things don't work out. I agree with a previous poster,, why not date people who share your dating views. We don't get to decide the right way for others to date.


Some people have the mentality that "the man's SUPPOSED to" -- as if he owed her money or something, lol.

I've never ran into this type of lady but if they do exist, I don't understand your consternation with this. I'm confident you aren't being forced to date them. I've no issue whatsoever with a lady expecting I will pay for dinner, because I am.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Where Have All The Good Women Gone?
Posted: 2/2/2019 1:58:56 PM

They are taken, like good men are usually, or they are looking for the right one. We aren’t always the right one for “ good” people. Sometimes we need to work on our healing first and become better in all ways.

Op, the title of thread is indefensible and just designed to make you feel righteous or valid for being alone. Nothing wrong with being alone, and you have not dated “all women” to make that sweeping generalization, just women in your circles locally.

You are talking somewhat about online-the downtrodden, desperate, quick fix people wanting to glom onto others for whatever they can get. I am sorry you had abusive relationships. I had a situation myself. Before that my ltrs were merely dissatisfying and ended, never to speak to the parties again, for the relationships were shallow,
in my view. I never really missed that many.

But, the abusive situation taught me things like compassion for the damage abuse inflicts, have far reaching impact on one’s whole life like distrust of others, needing to keep oneself safe, aversion to risk or the complete opposite impulse- accepting anybody and anything. Both genders have experienced abuse and its fallout, but one has to acknowledge it vs brush it aside, to heal from it.

The longer you stayed in, the worse you damage yourself. Mine was “ relatively brief” compared to some in very long term situations, but being tortured in any way for any length of time is damaging and stays with you forever, an indelible memory.

Good matches/ people are rare in men and women. Good matches are rare for most people. Why do people think finding an appropriate person to date is abundant, or a walk in the park?

If you want it so badly, you need to get off the internet and plug into social networks of some kind and form friendly connections with men and women. If you have much to offer, you will attract that person, esp if the groups are tailored to your interests and core values.

Before that though, you need to heal from all your experiences before you are ready to date. Users and abusers come in all genders. One has to learn to discriminate, and have some standards and boundaries for behavior.

I learned to try to understand how abuse happened to me, my part. Desperation, fear of loneliness like those seen in online seekers, the desire for a band aid, quick fix, naiveté, wanting to believe people are good and don't lie, believing what I wanted to hear, wanting to be rescued or rescue, thinking I could fix abuse, loyalty for its own sake vs those deserving of such, many misguided notions, springing up from fear and inexplicable self loathing, perhaps going back to childhood that I had covered up in various guises via certain achievements, and attempting to “find life meaning via relationships.”

Relationships can give your life meaning, but they are not the meaning of your life. YOU are the center of your life and are complete without anyone, even though we are social beings. It’s invaluable be plugged into society. It provides context and depth, and is necessary to a meaningful life.

When we focus on others’ faults though, without a look at our own, it disempowers us, as we cannot fix people, we can only fix ourselves.
Your current negative view on “women”attitude will surely drive away any “good women”. Playing victim works not for men, not for women, even if one was victimized at a point. That role has to be discarded in favor of “ survivor”. In many cases of victimization, there were some choices. In knowing my insecurity that led to an abusive situation, I can know how it happened, how to avoid it and get out when I see the signs.
Wishing you healing. It might be best to start with platonic friends of either gender and take it slow


Bravo, beercookies. This is one of the best posts if not the best post I've ever read here
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 1/31/2019 11:26:42 AM

That is your prerogative yet remember i have not insulted anyone personally..

If you cannot fathom why someone who has no other agenda besides making sure a woman has a great time in his company, feels safe, and respected, would find your comment offensive and personally insulting, I'm afraid I won't be able to explain it to you.


Hello to you, Mr. Backcreek. Now that I'm single again, I hope to be dropping by more often. If time permits. I hope 2019 is treating you well, so far. It didn't get off to quite the start I had hoped for, with the break up, but I will give it some time and get back out there again.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 1/31/2019 6:06:13 AM

"man paying for" put this in front of most anything- even if we say (Hu) man-and it becomes a commodity exchange not an intimacy exchange..

As a male I find this insulting. I will only guess you must have suffered some trauma in your life to have this outlook. When I ask a lady out, I pay. I enjoy female company and do NOT consider it a commodity exchange.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 123 (view)
 
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/17/2018 4:17:11 PM

& ps forumfairy ^^^ ~ hope ALL is well, in your life !

... things just fine here > " cause I ain't no saint, ain't no savior ~

... & every other Christmas ( coming up, col ) I practice good behavior "


Things are well in my life! Thank you for asking.

^^^ funny, every other Christmas I misbehave. I should take a walk on the wild side.

Candy came from out on the island, In the backroom she was everyone's darling.........And the colored girls go, doo, doo, doo.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 113 (view)
 
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/16/2018 3:03:00 PM

The few exceptions that you cite, probably knew what they wanted too but you were mystified that they wanted bad things. Women are not perfect. Some of them have a dark or unstable side. You just couldn't get your head around their true wishes.

No, Buddy, I wasn't mystified by any dark side. They were just not sure of their place in life, yet. I'm very selective of whom I date. I prefer women who have their "stuff together".
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Is contacting current partner's ex taboo to find out why the marriage ended?
Posted: 10/16/2018 1:50:11 PM
I would offer that yes, it is taboo and also not cool.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/16/2018 1:40:31 PM
Overall, I will say, most of the women I have been with have known what they wanted. There were a few exceptions but not many.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 58 (view)
 
How do you know when a women is flirting with you?
Posted: 10/16/2018 1:37:22 PM
Eye contact would be a good indicator of interest..... especially if it's accompanied by a smile.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 526 (view)
 
the women may get short, the men may be short, our underwear is brief, but the posts are long
Posted: 7/8/2018 5:39:10 AM

it's all nice and wonderful to say " I'm my own person who will just do what I want", but you need to be realistic.


For sure, some are emotionally prepared for the fall out from something like this. Others, like the lady I think you are referring to, are so emotionally fragile, this just might be the thing that pushes her over. My own humble opinion is, she is way beyond what any of us can offer in advice, she needs a professional to guide her. What we may offer and she may take, could surely be dangerous at this point.


Sexual desire is biological, and repressing it just means it comes out someplace else. We should identify ourselves first, before pursuing our sexual identity. Chasing our sexual identity first is easy, but it can push us further away from who we really are and what we really desire. Like most science experiments, its good to lock the theory down first, and use the experiment to prove what we've already decided to believe is right.


I hope she reads this over and over to herself. This is powerful, and there is so much truth in this statement.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 299 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/6/2018 4:23:08 AM

I can promise you....when she finds out....she will kick him to the curb.
So....in this case.....is it the wife's fault for not giving him what he wants....
or the husband's fault for marrying someone knowing they would never give him what he wanted???
I honestly don't think there are "two people to blame" here...

You are getting stuck on "blame" again. They both have a part in this. They both CHOSE to marry someone they weren't sexually compatable with. What made her susceptible to marrying someone that didn't want to be honest about their sexual preferences.? If you choose to marry someone, should you not at least know their sexual preferences? That would be a basic thing if you ask me. She married him not knowing or caring his true preference, he married her not telling. Seems like a relationship built on a house of cards that they both CHOSE to enter. I wouldn't marry anyone until I was confident, as I could be, that we were compatible in the sac. If the truth gets out there, she has a choice, she can learn to like oral and accept a cheater, or leave, but if she doesn't want to repeat the same mistake she needs to answer some hard questions. She will likely just be hurt, and say, "that buggar was nothing but a liar". She will do the same darn thing next time, UNLESS, she is willing to see her part in it.

In my previous example, The wife if making her choice, intimacy is part of a marriage. If you decide it's not on the table anymore, what do you think is going to happen? You decide to cheat, what do you think will probably happen?.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 281 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/5/2018 4:33:29 AM

But it doesn't mean they share the blame of the other Cheating,

You still aren't quite there with this yet. This isn't even about the other person, it's more about you. No, you're not responsible for someone else's decision to cheat. You may have had a part in that decision though. Try this example. Most older gentlemen seem to be able to relate to this, NO ladies, I don't condone this........... One of my co- workers has been having an affair for about one year. He admits to feeling very guilty for doing it. When asked why he continues to do it , he told the few of us, who know, that he loves his wife still, but she just isn't interested in being intimate with him anymore. They have been to counseling, he has tried every imaginable thing he can think of but still nothing! He's in his mid 50's , he says he's not ready to abstain yet. He feels betrayed in some ways because she always promised him she wouldn't be one of those women who would cut their partner off................ There are TWO people in this relationship that are making decisions that are contributing to the outcome of this. He is planning to tell his wife soon, he is hoping they can stay together, he's not hopeful though, because she doesn't think their lack of sex is a problem. Until she recognizes that it is a problem, and so much so, that it is causing him to look elsewhere, I don't hold out too much hope for them. If she just gets angry and hurt and considers him a no good douche, she will never see her part in it.

MachIMustangII in the last few paragraphs of msg 257 did a great job of articulating what this is about. He gets this, I'm sure.

My Pastor, who counsels, did a great talk on marriage and divorce. His message was, couples rarely divorce for the reasons they give for divorce. Divorces are most often caused by 1000 cuts over time and taking your partner for granted. Marriages deteriorate over time, they don't end out of the blue. Few people are willing to own up to their own part in the failure of the marriage. it's easier to blame the other person, it helps you save face with family and friends and yourself. Very rarely do you hear someone admit that they failed to pay attention when their partner needed them, or that they stopped paying attention when the kids were born and quit paying attention when their partner came home from work exhausted. We do hear that their partner was a no good so and so, all the time. Who marries a no good so and so?

This is about ownership of your OWN behavior, so you don't repeat past mistakes. For every behavior YOU choose , there is a consequence to that behavior. I think MachIMustangII said earlier, " Only spend what you can afford to lose"!
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 263 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/4/2018 7:13:05 AM

I basically told him to leave many times, that I wanted to be done but he would not leave. And when I tried to leave he'd do things like threaten to kill himself or beg me to stay or he'd give me veiled threats hinting at violence. Then he'd say that he'd work on things, that he'd change and though I didn't buy it, I wasn't sure what to do.

YOU allowed him to manipulate and control you! That may be a good place to start. Why would you allow someone that power over you?


I can still picture him and his girlfriend sitting on my couch laughing that if I don't want his girlfriend there too then I should leave then, all the while my kids are there observing. They'd actually told the kids while I was at work that we were breaking up because I didn't love him so he'd found someone who did. He told the kids a bunch of lies, told them they wouldn't have to move, that they could stay with him and he would not make them do chores or give them all the dumb rules I had.


Horrible and sad! I hope you and your kids receive the therapy you need. They need you healthy to help them be healthy. In time, I hope their father realizes the mistakes he has made too and makes it right.

This is my day off! To the beach I go. Everyone try to have a wonderful day!!!!!!
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 260 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/4/2018 6:14:25 AM

But people do not choose to be cheated on

Sometimes, I think they just wont own up to their own part in it. Your own words

I'll admit that. I'd had enough, emotionally distanced myself, and he knew I was gearing for leaving because I basically told him so so he needed a life preserver (ie. another woman). I was tired of the constant pot use, the ridiculous spending, the negativity, the frequent anger, the laziness

What did you think was going to happen.? Who chose to distance themselves and say what they said? Sounds as if instead of just leaving, YOU Chose to push him away so he would leave. Were you really surprised with the result you got? You really think you have No part in this.? You both have a part in the demise of this relationship. What does it matter if his part is 80% and yours is 20%. Learn from whatever part you are willing to take ownership of. If that part is zero, that is what you will learn.


The cheater is accountable for their own actions.

Yes they are, and you are accountable for yours. You can only beat a dead horse for so long. The trick is to learn when its dead.

Instead of looking to place blame, the most important thing is, Did you learn anything from this experience? What would you do differently next time, so you dont repeat this same mistake.?

This is just my opinion from taking in some of your posts. I don't think you have moved on from this relationship and haven't dealt with the many issues it has brought into your life. I can't see you ever being at peace in a relationship with anyone until you get your head screwed on straight.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 258 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/4/2018 4:53:19 AM

Welcome back forumfairy, hadn't seen you here for a bit ~ I appreciate your knowledge & direct, calm approach. In this particular matter, of it always taking two ~ I would disagree though.


Thank you, backcreek7. When Im dating someone I usually try to stay off POF out of respect for them, that's why I have been absent of as late. This thing has sure gone off the rails hasn't it? ...... I think what most people get wrong with the accountability approach is they get hung up on BLAME. People need to take blame out of the equation. It's more about , and this is just an example, you had a failed relationship, lets say. Why did that relationship fail? and how can I not make the same mistake again next relationship? If you suddenly find you wife is cheating the easy approach is to say" that nasty***** and place all the responsibility on her. Wouldn't the prudent thing to do be ask if there wasn't something that was missing in the relationship to make her want to cheat? If you were really interested in fixing the relationship I would think you would want to know why, so perhaps you could change it. If you weren't interested in fixing it, well, at least you might be more aware of the signs to watch for next relationship or you might have learned how to divert the affair before it happens....... This is more about learning from your mistakes and not repeating them. The person who cheats has a part but so does the person who is cheated on. If you just blame someone and walk away and don't work on the why's. Why you allowed it?, why you didn't see it coming? You have not learned a thing and will make the same mistake again.

The lady who has become the topic of this thread is not to blame for her husbands actions. Her part would only be to try to figure out what signs she may have missed in hindsight, if any, and maybe to work on why she feels she needs to trust so fully. Trust is wonderful and all but there are the extremes on both ends and consequences to both. Even our resident, popular kid, Mr. Pig. pointed out the issues with trusting too much in relationships. Your choice whether the consequences are worth it.

All our behaviors have consequences.
You eat to much pie and you choose to gain weight
You gamble your paycheck at the casino, you choose to lose your paycheck
You call women whores who disagree with you, You choose to lose the respect of most posters
You decide to rob a bank, you choose to go to jail.
You are a drug addict who decides to do drugs, you choose to be a drug addict.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 241 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/3/2018 1:25:17 PM

(and yes...FF included...)
My only contribution to this has been my preaching of accountability. If you perceive that as me attacking you in a false or misplaced manor, you're wrong . My only comments to you were along the lines of it always takes two. There is really nothing wrong with wondering when you're alone with yourself, why you didn't see it coming. Seems to me it would be a natural thing to do. You would rather just lash out at me because you don't like my mantra. That's your choice to make, the only one you have to look at in the mirror and like, is YOU.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 211 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/3/2018 3:19:28 AM
My, this sure has caused quite a stir. Thank you, Stratosfere for doing your best to explain. People for some reason seem to prefer denial, easier, I guess, than accountability. Many of you think Dr. Phil is a quack, he just teaches common sense and in my opinion is a right smart man. Accountability is quite big in my line of work, denial and excuses won't serve the population I work with well. Stratosfere, I see you work with the end result of my profession. Makes sense to me why you would understand this so well.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 158 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/2/2018 4:05:47 AM

Had nothing to do with their "home life"...How does that equate to "it takes two to break a relationship"??


Most people who are committed and happy, DON"T cheat. If you married or are in a relationship with a drive by cheater then YOU picked them. They are either unhappy for a reason or YOU need to figure out why you picked a cheater. If this has happened before YOU need to question why YOU stayed after it happened once. A leopard won't change it's spots.

As Dr. Phill says, "The success of a relationship is a function of the extent to which both peoples needs are being met". It's when someones needs aren't being met that they start to get that wandering eye. So that my dear is how it takes two to make and two to break a relationship. Nothing happens in a vacuum. I suppose it's easy for the wounded to reach out in their hurt and blame everyone else, demonize the cheater. They were there though and like it or not HAD a part in it.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 154 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/1/2018 1:44:28 PM

I figure that keeping a relationship going is like two jugglers performing a pass.
It only takes one to walk away and it's all messed up.

if you are in a committed juggling act, one probably wouldn't walk away without a reason. of course, there are those who can't commit to anything. But, who picked them as a partner? YOU
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 152 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/1/2018 10:26:10 AM

A strange statement, to be sure.

Yes, If I were to just read that statement I would think it strange also. It was a statement made that needs context. Which is there if you were to go back and read the point I was trying to make. My sister was left by her s/o, he cheated and left her for the partner he cheated with. My sister isnt responsible for his cheating but is responsible for her part in the unhappiness in the relationship that lead to her partner cheating. My point was it always takes two to make and two to break any relationship.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 148 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 7/1/2018 3:17:13 AM

Yes....but it doesn't always means it's the spouse that is the reason!!!

people who are "all in" and insanely happy with their relationship don't tend to leave the relationship. Cheat on the side? yes! but leave for another with whom they cheat. NO! I have Never met any couple who were broken up where one person in the relationship was responsible for the ruination of it.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 145 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/30/2018 2:20:39 PM

you cannot blame 1 if the other isn't "all in".

If one quits being all in, there is usually some reason for it. Yes, some people just like to cheat but they don't often leave their primary relationship to do it. They do it on the side and usually have no plans to leave their partner. Much like abused women, people don't like to hear it, but they usually have a part in that dance as well. That doesn't mean its in any way her fault, but she stays so she has her part in that whole dynamic.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 143 (view)
 
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/30/2018 3:41:46 AM
Why does it matter who files first for divorce? In most cases, as far as I know, it takes two people to make or break a relationship. Instead of trying to blame everyone else why not just step up and take ownership of our own poor choices and our part in it. I certainly don't condone cheating, but if someone is cheating, they are likely lacking something in their primary relationship. You can't steal someone away who isn't willing to go. So, if someone leaves you for someone else, that was THEIR choice. I don't think anyone put a gun to their head and forced them to go.

This happened to my sister recently, her first emotion was to blame the new girl. She became a little angry with me when I pointed out , if he was truly happy at home he never would have left. She doesn't bare the responsibility for him being a cheater but she has some responsibility for the state of the relationship. And the new girl? what a prize she will get! A cheater who won't leave before he starts something new. A leopard doesn't change it's spots.

People can and do change over time. Most relationships aren't meant to last forever. How can you promise someone you will love them forever, forsake all others, at 25? You might think at that point you can but 35 rolls around and you have changed and so has your partner. Unless you have both moved in the same direction you will have moved in the opposite direction and apart.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 1001 (view)
 
Paying for a date does not include sex
Posted: 5/15/2018 4:51:51 AM

I went on a second or third date a couple of years ago. The woman told me it was the best she had in a very long time. And it was very simple and inexpensive. We went for pizza then to a park along the water. There's no lights at the park so we had an amazing view of the night sky while listening to the waves crashing on the rocks. I carry binoculars with I took those out to give us an even better view of the stars and Milky Way. It was just a normal night out for me. I do things like that all the time. But she thought it was great and I had a very good time with her.


Every woman I have ever dated was always happy with whatever date I planned. Most were not really expensive and I never get any complaints. Most women just want romance and to be treated special, I don't think they need to be taken to the Keg or other expensive place to be happy. Some guys just hang on to a dollar like its the last they are ever going to make. One of the great things about money is you can always make more. Even if our date doesn't turn to romance, I would like my date to think back to our time together as a pleasant experience.


Maybe some men just value equality in a relationship.

equality and romance are two different things. When I hear my friends say they value equality in a relationship, I know they really define equality as money. So what you are saying is you value money in a relationship, that's fine if that's what you value but then you shouldn't wonder why you are not having any luck in the relationship world. You are bringing a knife to a gun fight, bring the right tool and you might have a fighting chance.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 994 (view)
 
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/14/2018 2:22:03 PM
I always pay for the date and have no problem or issues with doing it. I also have fairly good luck with the ladies, might be the type of woman I prefer though. I like a lady who knows how to act like one. I don't care for floozies or women with low self esteem. They always seem the type that are willing to put up with these dimwits who biatch and whine about having to pay. I never hear a real lady complain about how some ex treated her, because she wouldn't allow it to begin with.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 7 (view)
 
deleted or disactivated
Posted: 5/3/2018 8:32:04 AM
It's right under edit profile. It says " to hide your profile click here" It is easy to miss.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 4 (view)
 
deleted or disactivated
Posted: 5/3/2018 4:27:47 AM

.and I don't think hiding a profile is an option anymore.

Hiding your profile is totally still an option. Since this person was already caught with a profile here, i would bet it is probably still here but hidden. A leopard doesn't change it's spots
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 294 (view)
 
Heeeey Hey Hey! Its Fat Chance...for redemption!
Posted: 4/28/2018 7:35:08 AM

A guy calling himself a fairy?

It' my deranged sense of humor, besides it's humorous when posters get irritated with me, don't check my profile and assume I'm a woman.

At any rate, that is not how it works. He has the right to one appeal. That's it.
At his age even one appeal would probably take long enough to wind thru the courts that he would probably be too frail or dead to go to jail. Unless, the legal system works way quicker in the States than it does in Canada.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 291 (view)
 
Heeeey Hey Hey! Its Fat Chance...for redemption!
Posted: 4/28/2018 4:51:38 AM

but is coz's kid-glove treatment post-conviction another sign the rich get treated easier?

Absolutely. If he were a poor black man or white trailer trash he would be in jail, no If's and or buts. He has the money to appeal and appeal until he's dead. At his age, he will run out of time before he runs out of appeal.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What do we think?
Posted: 4/25/2018 5:41:44 AM
[Her - You didn't make me feel uncomfortable i just don't want to lead you on, you have very kissable lips. I really like you but im not sure in a sexual way. I'm happy to meet again but are you if theres a chance that'd end in friendship?

Buddy, give it up, she's not attracted to you in that way. If she were it would be obvious from the start. Think of it from the point of view of you meeting a girl and not being attracted to her sexually, do you think that would change? chances are NO. She is just letting you down easy, maybe keeping you on the back burner till something that does turn her on cums her way.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do I tell her?
Posted: 4/24/2018 5:36:59 AM
Buddy, I think you're in a bad spot. You've said yourself that distance alone will make this thing a no go, so why ruin a good friendship? My best advice is to say no, keep it on the downlow.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 376 (view)
 
Do you hide your political affiliation on dates?
Posted: 4/21/2018 8:57:50 AM

"People often vote against their own interests. I see it constantly.[\quote]
Absolutely, as a matter of fact there is a article in the Toronto Star today talking about that very thing. A single mother who is on welfare,is going to vote for Ford knowing full well he will probably cut social assistance. The other two parties are going to raise rates if they get elected. Someone apparently wrote a book as to why people do this. These people are so focused on sticking it to the "elites" that they don't care whether they harm themselves. Meanwhile, in this instance, Ford is one of the very "elites' he often criticizes.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 374 (view)
 
Do you hide your political affiliation on dates?
Posted: 4/21/2018 4:32:11 AM

well, if they are leading, they almost don't have to yet. when you're winning, you can only lose. I can understand people wanting to hear they have more to offer besides, "we aren't that guy", but chances are they're going to spend their time overturning what was overturned.

I understand this, but Ontario is historically more center on the political spectrum. This guy is far right who most compare to Trump. Actually, this guy is Toronto's famous Mayor Rob Fords brother. This election is more of a change election because people hate the party in power. I would think most educated people would like to know what they might be getting themselves into. Like we both know, there are a large number of people who are just ignorant about the facts. I have family members who think Trump is grand. I tell them to move to the U.S.A.


As for "new" cars, i'm having to look and saw a turbo Hyundai velositer type R,

anything I have ever heard about these vehicles they look nice and sporty but are sluggish. A buddy was looking at one of these a few years back, so probably not that model, he ended up with a Dodge Dart, now, that is a nice car. Not a big fan of Dodge though. Let me know if you think it's sluggish if you get to drive it.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 369 (view)
 
Do you hide your political affiliation on dates?
Posted: 4/20/2018 11:31:15 AM
I don't advertise it but I do find there seems to be a lot of people who are ignorant about politics. They repeat stuff they read on a facebook post and think it's gospel. When I hear someone do that I will tell them the facts. I was on a date last weekend and the lady was going on about who she was going to vote for in the upcoming election here in Ontario. I asked her what she liked about this parties platform, she couldn't tell me. Anybody who follows politics here, knows there is a party who is leading in the polls and hasn't even released a platform yet,if ever. That's like buying a car without looking at it. Stuuuupid!
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Switch the words men to gun in an everyday post and here's what you see.
Posted: 4/19/2018 3:30:14 PM

whopper empathy gap

Is this anything like a whopper with cheese?
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 16 (view)
 
POF Requlars of 10+ years, a question for you...
Posted: 4/19/2018 3:16:11 PM

Wallymart two digit IQ?

how dare you? I have a Kmart 3 digit IQ. So ha ha!
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 407 (view)
 
some low opinions of some postings, some even lower
Posted: 4/19/2018 2:30:40 PM

Here is a prime example, and boy, THIS ONE is a doozy! You made this blatantly anti-gay post to Backcreek, who never said a word to you.
Nice try! being a little hypocritical aren't we? Lets put this in context and post the whole thing because if I ever became the bully YOU are I would seek help and not come back until I had a good hold on my issues.

PIG
Are you serious, Sink_Below_This?? You're going to step up and play white knight with this bullshit claim?


Backcreek
& btw ~ Although he is a very good looking man, he doesn't promote or speak about it ( he is pretty darn modest, if you ask me )

long live the pig !


Me
Only thing worse than a White Knight is a gay White Knight. Oh brother!, is right.


Backcreek
speak for yourself, mr. " fairy "

I laughed, I'm sure he laughed I didnt chase him around call him a piece of shit or other vulger names, He didnt chase me call me vulgar names. We had another exchange the next day where I told him to get a room when he was pining for you and he called me gay or something , we were just ribbing each other. I though it funny, you accused Rise of being a white knight so I accused Back Creek when he came to your rescue.

Now here is where your hypocrisy comes in
Pig
Wow, Backcreek. Even I have to laugh at your assessment of me, but thanks nonetheless.


You didn't have a problem with it then, did you? You knew I was joking. Only is a problem when your trying to dig dirt. Alrighty then.
What makes me wayy different is if I thought for one second Backcreek or anyone else felt bullied by me I would certainly apologize. I wouldn't continue calling them names or trying to belittle them. I have the balls to be a man and act like one.


you sanctimonious, ass kissing, piece of shit.
You really think for one sec I give one single feck what you think of me? I work in a prison and listen to punks run their mouths all day, it's sure not any different with you.


Really?? Then how do you explain NewYorker still being here?? DUUUUHHHH!!!! Do yourself a favor and stop posting. I have ZERO respect for people who report. They ruin the forums, not me.
Speaking of which, did you all notice Arlo, Halcyon, and I were all deleted at around the same time? Yeah, nothing suspicious there!!

Firstly, I will stop posting when I decide to. Secondly, Mr tough guy, I hope you"re not saying I reported anyone. I see thats your call to your fan club to put that idea in their head. I won't be real surprised when I get the boot.

I know you're going to come back running your mouth and that's good. At least if I put the target on my back you may leave the ladies alone. After all, a few have come right out and said they felt targeted by you. Yes, I would rather be known as a White Knight and a gentleman than an abusive bully, any day.

That's all I really have to say to you. I will probably just ignore you from here on out. Thats the best way to deal with your type, besides as someone once said "***holes are easy to ignore."
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 389 (view)
 
Chimers gonna chime chime chime
Posted: 4/18/2018 6:49:30 AM

Let a man talk about what a woman "should do", and he'll be met with comments from the twat brigade


You're just running your fat f*cking mouth.



Ah, now I know why you're such a nutzo.

These are just a few I didn't have to look very hard for. YET there are still people willing to defend this, justify it. Boggles my mind, wait, no it doesn't I know bullying when I see it and how it works. Bystanders pile on and agree with the bully because they themselves are afraid of becoming his next victim.


In my opinion, the baiter can throw out a subtle jab/dig that may go unnoticed by most of the others. If the bait responds back harsher, then they are noticed. This isn't one sided.
We don't get to make fun or harass someone, and when they get upset tell them its their fault. That's victim blaming. Anytime someone defaults to questioning or criticizing what a victim should or could do differently to prevent harm being done to them is participating in victim blaming. Bullying is never the targets fault. The responsibility always lies with the bully.


Pig and Arlo went back and forth pretty hard, yet there are no accusations of stalking/bullying.


Since Arlo often self identified as a shit disturber and told Pig he was cool, I think most people were aware it was more akin to the baiter bait you were speaking of. I'm not sure anyone took that all too seriously. If you did you should have reported him.


Forumfairy chimed:
She asked Henry a question, there really was no need for the posse to chime in.

Either you weren't paying attention or trying to take my words out of context. Pay attention, will you? That was my response to the cheerleading squad. Chime away BUT is cheerleading really necessary. It's ganging up on a poster and everyone knows it. {more bullying].


Please do explain Forumfairy???

C'mon Cindy, it didnt matter what he said you would agree with it. You are a smart lady and I know you have a mind of your own.

I really think by participating here all I'm doing is re victimizing NY. Its quite clear by those who want to challenge the definition of cyberstalking because it exposes the ugly truth. I nor NY made the definition up. It is what it is. The victim blaming and trying to justify the unjustifiable just confirms that to me. I understand you are afraid of becoming the next victim, this is why this crap persists.
Ny stated this was affecting her but still we have people arguing that it didn't or shouldn't. INSANE.
I'm done posting here because I think deep down most of you know the truth. I also think this is just giving the bullies crew who are still active another chance to revictimize her.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 363 (view)
 
Truth or Consequences
Posted: 4/17/2018 4:40:12 AM

I don't feel Ny is a victim she had her digs at ppl too

I don't think anyone thinks of NY as a "victim" she appears to me as a strong woman. Does this make it ok to relentlessly harass her ? Even the kid on the playground who is bullied long enough will fight back. So do we really have a right to get all offended when they do. Besides, digs and harassment are two different things,


name calling started (b)Pig's menopausal groupies

Now, that was right around when you and the others decided to gang up and do the group defence of Henry. I don't think any of you recognize it but you do behave like groupies. Most posters can probably figure out after a few days what posters will come to the rescue of others. its the same ones over and over. Honestly, I wonder if any of you have had an original thought in the last 30 days. You are Not going to like this but you were the worse where pig was concerned.


Funny how when one is not in the room the gossip starts.

What is this statement suppose to mean? I'd have no problem saying anything I've said If he were here. Like a previous poster stated "***holes are easy to ignore". He might be the greatest guy alive but his treatment of NY and his arrogance leads me to believe otherwise. Like another poster stated, we all know whoever got in a tiff with him would be ganged up on and reported by the groupies and mancrushers and they would be deleted.


This conflict is between you, Henry, and Pig; now suddenly you want to bring in HS. You’re just trying to deflect attention away from yourself, because while you like to make snap judgments

Speaking of snap judgments, The reason HS was brought up was because I made the statement that i was surprised she wasn't deleted a few months back when she got in the tiff with the female poster. She was every bit as nasty, and this wasn't her first rodeo. If this conflict was really between just the three of them why would everyone else be chiming in?

You are just grasping at any straw to try to make NY look like the bad guy. I think we all agree, she is no wallflower BUT NO ONE should be subjected to what she was. Harassed, ganged up on, bullied to no end. I'm not sure what is worse, the constant trying to justify or the behaviour itself. SHAMEFUL
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 358 (view)
 
Truth never damages a cause that is just.
Posted: 4/16/2018 3:59:10 PM

She brought henry into it along with every other male trying to pit Pig to attack us,
hahahahahahahahha, Really? you think he would attack any male on her behalf. You're grasping at straws now buddy.


Let's look at the reality of the whole situation on where she didn't attack Henry again shall we?
yes , we shall. Sorry, but there is NO attack on Henry. Like Whiskey said, you people are quick to defend Henry but have No problem justifying NY being harrassed for a whole year. Shame on YOU!
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 355 (view)
 
Truth never damages a cause that is just.
Posted: 4/16/2018 2:18:00 PM

My only comment to this is "WTF"?

I'm going to take a guess and say, reading between the lines isn't your strong suit. Try and keep up, will you.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 forumfairy
Joined: 3/20/2018
Msg: 354 (view)
 
Truth never damages a cause that is just.
Posted: 4/16/2018 2:11:12 PM

Not only did I not say this but I have not quoted it even once. It does not appear in a single comment made by me.
You are RIGHT! my mistake. I meant to edit before I posted and forgot and it wouldn't let me edit after for some reason.


There are thousands of comments and dozens of dozens of threads that would have to be read and organized into a proper timeline to meet the burden of proof for the accusations you are making. Forgive me but you weren't even able to keep comments made in a single thread in less than 24 hours straight.

Excuse me, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what is going on. Or does it take thousands of threads. Any unbiased person can see this was clearly cyberstalking. Go back and re-read the definition of cyberstalking. Sorry if your opinion doesn't fit the definition, but facts are facts. For you to keep trying to justify this nonsense is clearly showing just how hypocritical you are.
 
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