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 Author Thread: So I guess he's still with his significant other?
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 30 (view)
 
So I guess he's still with his significant other?
Posted: 8/22/2018 5:24:48 PM
It was a gradual realization instead of waking up one day and realizing it had to end.

As a matter of fact , I never wanted to be one in the first place nor was it enjoyable for me mentally, that he goes home to another woman at end of the day. I know that sound weird seeing how I stuck around for year but It did bother me.Could have been guilt that I suppressed and masked.

It became a routine and he was like crutch/habit.I struggled thinking about making a break for months but as long as I got to see him for one more day, that was another day more to make excuses for myself. . Nothing was ever enough motivation.There times I would tell myself this is it , I don't want to be part of this anymore only to be drawn right back in when my phone would vibrate with this message

I would describe it as, for example, that feeling you get where say you have a deadline or task to accomplish and you've procrastinated and went to do something fun with friends instead. You're on the beach, drinking, laughing, having fun but in the back of your mind you're thinking about that deadline and kinda worried about it and maybe even slightly anxious so you're not fully present. That to me was like being the other woman. Having fun, feeling happy sometimes, but still having this kind of anxious feeling like I'm putting off the inevitable. So I was never truly content.

What finally made me snap out of it?

The feeling that I couldnt live with the idea that it was unlikely to ever be more than it was.

I asked myself if i wanted to be in same place 5 years from now or more? Also what if his wife/ SO were to find out?He would probably drop me like bad habit to protect his relationship.So it was It was about self-preservation .

It's not something I would do again though...It took a toll on my self worth and did further demange to my self esteem.I didn't enjoy being the other woman.And I definately learned my lesson to not get involved with anyone unless they're truly available.I was truly shocked when I realize that I had been used and lied to..It might be hard for some to understand but I was really that naive
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 28 (view)
 
So I guess he's still with his significant other?
Posted: 8/22/2018 2:54:36 PM
He didn't dump me... He’s was willing to keep seeing me indefinitely under these terms.But,I wanted more than a relationship that has limitations and compartmentalizing and wanted to see each other and hang out and do other things that show I'm being valued beyond sex on delivery. Which is why i told him that I no longer wish continue because reality finally hit me that it will never transform into open an relationship.

Believe it or not ..I started out not wanting to be side chick and he didn't specifically say he is married either.He just said he was still living with his baby mommy for practical reasons for the time being until he finds a place of his own , they were not romantically involved and sleep in separate rooms. A year later he still lives at home and his availability would suggest otherwise... hence why I stopped seeing him
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 26 (view)
 
So I guess he's still with his significant other?
Posted: 8/22/2018 12:57:13 PM
@ norwegianguy , would it have been better if i just ghosted him then? I no longer had any desire to continue with the arragement anymore since we clearly wanted different things.So I thought letting him know was the right thing to do given we've known each other for over a year.
I wanted romance and companionship and I eventually realize I was forcing something that will never happen with him.The wake up call is when was ignored valentine's day and din't return my messages when i professed my feelings for him.Then started a conversation a day later with sexual innuendos
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 25 (view)
 
So I guess he's still with his significant other?
Posted: 8/22/2018 12:48:07 PM
I do have self -esteem issues to which I'm working on in therapy.These issues did contribute to my involvement.. I'm not saying my participation to this affair was caused by it but the problem influence it.And no I don't believe I'm main sauce of the problem because if he was faithful , this affair wouldn't have happened.He is the one that pursed me despite being in relationship ,pretending to be available not the other way around .I initially just assumed he was single .Yes looking back I stayed with him too long but the ship has sailed

Of course there are going to be gullible women or women who simply don't care but married men are the ones that step out of their relationships and purse these relationships 9 out 10 times.
I don't generally target men in relationships or married nor would I get knowingly get involved with one again. So no , I can assure you that I'm not part of the problem to their marital problems.The husband is
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 22 (view)
 
So I guess he's still with his significant other?
Posted: 8/22/2018 10:39:48 AM
I wasn't looking for pity or sympathy as I know I wouldn't get any as this is a hot topic that elicit strong emotions from some people , particularly the ones who have been cheated on

I don't feel guilty and bad at all for getting involved with this man since he took up my time under false pretense.I shouldn't be condemned for my naivety .I'm not the problem because he will just pick up another girl after some time goes by, a cheater is always a cheater so the wife still has a cheating husband even now I'm out of the picture.


And If I were married and my husband cheated on me ,I would blame him and not the other woman.The cheater is the problem.If your husband is faithful then the other woman wouldn't even exist.At the end of the day,the other women is not the issue because if she was not the one, it most definitely be someone else.Your husband was looking for an affair, not looking for her in particular.She happened to be in the right spot at the right time

For your information I already broke it off and don't plan contacting him.
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 20 (view)
 
So I guess he's still with his significant other?
Posted: 8/22/2018 9:36:20 AM
@norwegianguy , We made plans for him to come over at my place but they kept falling through because of his work , since he could only see me during business hours .He wanted to but there was always a reason why he couldn't and prefered me to drive to his work and hook up in car instead

I know we were never officially together since he wasn't available but he did told me that he was planning to leave.So i held up hope that he would eventually be available and we will be together officially without sneaking around
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 14 (view)
 
So I guess he's still with his significant other?
Posted: 8/17/2018 5:48:36 PM
I broke it off because I wanted more than he can and willing to provide.The sex wasn't enough to satisfy me and it wasn't easy on my conscioience knowing he still lives with another woman hence why i finally let him go.I was truly in love with this man and had hopes it was just matter of time until he moves out as he initially promised.On the other hand, part of me still holds hope that he will follow through with his word now that I'm no longer in his life.He will realize what he missed.Something might have been missing in his relationship to have desire for something on the side.Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part but this all new and raw to me

I still want to be with this man but not under these terms.
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 4 (view)
 
So I guess he's still with his significant other?
Posted: 8/15/2018 7:27:17 PM
But it's highly unlikely he will ever become available anyways
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
 
So I guess he's still with his significant other?
Posted: 8/15/2018 9:35:44 AM
I ve been seeing this man who still lives with his kids mother for a little over a year now. I went in with the expectation that this will be temporary and he would be free and be all mine.. but a year later he still lives with his wife and won t see me outside his work hours. As a result , I ve been stood up because something had come up at the last minute and he couldn t come meet it anymore. He hasn t been at my place either so we usually hook up in my car or secluded outdoors


I finally reach the stage where I know he is going nowhere and I have to move on. So I finally mustered up courage to end it last night.I sent him a text telling him that I can't continue like this anymore and would love to be with him if he was available.He didn't even respond to me...I thought this will give him motivation to move out and be with me properly
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 9 (view)
 
I can't seem to leave him
Posted: 8/2/2018 5:44:34 PM
Ignore the typos....I meant how should I end this?By text or fading away?
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I can't seem to leave him
Posted: 8/2/2018 4:24:09 PM
So how should i exist from this..should i just returning his texts or send him "I can't do this anymore text" given we've known each other for a yea?
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
 
I can't seem to leave him
Posted: 7/29/2018 4:01:00 PM
I ve been seeing this man who still lives with his kids mother for a little over a year now. I went in with the expectation that this will be temporary and he would be free and be all mine.. but a year later he still lives with his wife and won t see me outside his work hours. As a result , I ve been stood up because something had come up at the last minute and he couldn t come meet it anymore. He hasn t been at my place either so we usually hook up in my car or secluded outdoors


I finally reach the stage where I know he is going nowhere and I have to move on. I want more than he can give me. I m finding hard to leave for some reason. I want to leave but I keep making excuses to see him one more time even though the relationship is unfulfilling and not satisfying. At the same time I don t want to be in this place in 5 years or more. I m 33 and I don t want to waste my prime years in this and the next thing I m an old woman stuck in dead end relationship
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Dating a man with kids means less availability?
Posted: 4/22/2018 3:09:57 PM
So I was seeing a man who lives with his 18 year month twin boys and he still lives with his kids mother.He told me they have broken up but staying together for financial reasons for now.

Well he wouldn't see me outside working hours so I called him out on it. He said he would want to spend more time with me but its hard because of his kids.

So i broke it off beacuse i thought it was because he was still in a relationship with his kids mother hence why he cant see me outside his work hours.

So of he were truly single and live separately from his kids mother,would he had been able to see me outside work hours despite having children?I know they will always come first but what about when the ex get the kids for the weekend then he would be free to spend time with me right?
 AngelBoat
Joined: 3/30/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
 
I have been seeing a man who lives with his baby mama for a year now...?
Posted: 4/4/2018 9:13:09 AM
When we first me ,he told me that he was in the process of leaving her and they are not together anymore. I took what he said at face value, I believed the break up was imminent and I felt sorry for him..thinking he was great guy who just found himself in an unfortunate situation , so in my mind, I was not settling and this was a very temporary. situation but idk..He still live his wife a year later

He can only see me during his work hours which means they are times when our plans fall through because of unexpected things that might come up during his work hours. He claims he would like to spend more time with me but it's hard because of his kids

-He has never taken me on real date
-he ignored Valentine's day, no card no "happy Valentine's day text nothing

Looks like i have fallen for the oldest line in book.Why would he lie to me?I can't believe it!
 
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