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 Author Thread: Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 324 (view)
 
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 2/20/2019 4:54:35 AM

And....I said nothing worse than many, many posters on the same topic

Once again, You need to own up to your posts. I'm not blind and either is anyone else here. Although a few came sort of close, none came down to dead on shaming this lady as YOU did. I saw quite a few posts without the judgements attached.

men and women both with the same opinions

That's the point that keeps going over your head. It's not your opinion, it's your shaming of this young lady. Several posters managed to state their opinions without shaming her.


can surely (no pun intended) handle the fall out and without a doubt enjoys the attention.

I have the feeling this is the real reason for your disdain.



Quotes from posts when taken out of context can take on a whole new meaning

No quotes were taken out of context. Once again, everyone here can read. You can't backtrack now, nice try though!


People should play nice.

I'm not sure what that is suppose to mean or is pertaining to. This is a forum. If you are going to post, you should expect people to comment on your posts.


But they are also coming to other threads with insults that in no way apply to the topic of the thread and also messaging my personal inbox. Thats all i need to verify for myself what is really going on here.

Unfortunately, you are seeing what has been quite clear to some of us for quite some time. There is a certain element here who take this forum ultra seriously. If you don't cheerlead for them or tow the party line, you become a target. This is their whole life, unfortunately.



I find it downright hilarious that if I agree with someone that Blondie or SS disagrees with....I am part of some "nuking committee"....

I have it right from Granny's own post that someone who I strongly suspect is YOU tracks my posts to report them. If I had more time I'd go dig that post up. I know you will just feign innocence though. A certain bunch here constantly picks at Blondie, runs into obscure threads to take shots at her, pulls their passive aggressive innuendo on her and then you wonder why she does what she does? You've got to be chiding me? At least she has the guts to say it out loud! I think a certain element here needs to own up to their own shiat.
REPORT THAT!

Once again, I hope everyone has a fantastic day!
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 311 (view)
 
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 2/19/2019 4:49:59 AM

Well it is NOT quite clear to me that I am suggesting anything of the sort.
You'll notice that the post referred to is made up of portions of several posts, not just one. Nowhere have I suggested that the photos in debate actually define the woman.

It's quite clear to me and I imagine anyone else with the ability to read and a IQ over 2. You should at least own up to your posts if you are going to post. I'm quite aware that quote was made up of different quotes by YOU. She left out a few, one being

I am not the slightest bit jealous because we can all do what you do, should we want to get down in that ditch.

Here is another from another thread which you conveniently went back and tried to back track on what you posted, after I posted about your shaming language. Anyone interested can check the date and times

Well....the "diseased stranger" from anywhere will be dressed a lot like you so yes

Slut shaming--- Language used to degrade and belittle women or girls who are perceived to violate expectations of behavior or appearance.
So Please, I was born at night but it wasn't last night. You were clearly shaming this young lady.


One poster is fanning the flames and enjoying the fire! I think there is an online word for that type?


Go on down to the humor section and do a little light reading. Perhaps it may occur to you why these flames get fanned. That's off topic though, I just have no words.


Slut-shaming. Is it wrong or realistic?


Policing others attire doesn't put you on some moral high ground. It says more about you than it does the other person. July, you know I love you, but, slut shaming is never ok.


I can cite a related example. Years ago, my very attractive cousin and I went out for a night of dancing. Her clothing consisted of a little floral top exposing much bust and all midriff with very short bright yellow shorts and red high heels. I was dressed much more conservatively, in finger tip length shorts, an T-shirt exposing nothing but my shoulders and arms with cute flat heeled red shoes. My cousin and I too, having been painted with the same perception brush had to ask the bartender for help in getting rid of a number of young men that would absolutely not leave us alone in their desperate attempts to brush up against us, hold us to dance even after our refusal, and so on. I actually smacked one guy across the face when he grabbed me in an inappropriate way. The guys were given the boot but really in my opinion, my cousin wanted men to notice her body and they did, in a disrespectful and negative way. I never went out with her again. Just not my thing.


This does not surprise me, coming from you. Slut shaming, victim blaming, and rape culture are all very closely related. That was a nice story and all, but really means nothing. I have been out with friends after a ball game, we were dressed in jeans and a t shirt, smelling quite sweaty, and had to ask the bouncer to remove certain patrons who would not leave us alone.
I'm going to make the observation that for some women, I think the young lady you are slut shaming happens to be one of them. They are so beautiful, they could be wearing a burlap sac and they would get attention. I think perhaps that bothers more average women. So they do what they do best to try to bring her down a few pegs...slut shame.


I am not saying all the women here fall into the category that I am talking about above, but perhaps some do. Perhaps some would not be as likely to note the same revealing clothes on a woman with less of a figure. Just my two cents.

I agree.


btw.....myself and every girlfriend I have, call our boots...."hooker boots"!
It's just a thing!!


There is quite a big difference between friends calling their boots "hooker boots" and telling a perfect stranger she is wearing "hooker boots". Perhaps this is where the confusion lies. Some just don't understand where the line gets crossed.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day!
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 300 (view)
 
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 2/18/2019 5:15:47 AM

I could go on and on pointing out all the crap written here the last few pages that MsMicki conveniently can't see

I agree, ironic how some posts are conveniently skipped over.



“you are dressing in a way that represents who you believe you are.” “I have too much self respect and confidence in myself to think that I have to sail through life with my titz and azz on display in order to feel beautiful. I actually feel bad for you but you'll learn. “

“your photos would be terrific in the back pages and you would get lots of calls.”

“I would not have been caught dead dressed as you are outside of the bedroom or a Hallowe'en party. Get over yourself. There is more to a woman than a enormous set of ta tas and skimpy clothing.
You reap what you sow and guess what?
Dress slutty and complain that only pervs want to date you. Oh Boo Hoo. I've lost patience with you. Carry on attention seeker.”

“Regarding the woman in the 'escort' outfit, I'm done here.”

“No one called her names. They may be in her head....sadly. I already said and will say again that I feel sorry for her. I will add her to my prayers, in spite of being the atheist she claims to be. Everyone is worth saving. We can only offer our opinions which may seem judgmental to her. I don't think any of us meant it that way


The shaming language in this post is quite vivid. To say it is anything else is being willfully blind. You may not have come right out and called this poster a slut but its quite clear that is what you're suggesting.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Creepy profile pictures and it's just getting worse.
Posted: 2/18/2019 4:44:42 AM

I see plenty of snark in here by many other ppl, perhaps you should address all of them, not just single me out?

I agree. Why should True Companion be the only one held accountable for her behaviour? There certainly is more than a few posters here who are every bit as bad as they claim her to be. I've been on the receiving end of a hateful, out of the blue post, from that sweet Granny you are all so eager to defend. If I could remember what thread it was I would post it. Some may recall, Rise and I were chatting about pot being legalised here in Ontario, when in she barged calling me a liar about something that happened long ago. I told her if she wanted to pick a fight with me she would have to come back next week when I wouldn't be in such a good mood. Most of the time I just try to ignore her. I'm sorry but I'm just not seeing the halo you are all seeing.

All you need do is re-read this thread to see where it went off the rails and who started with the passive aggressive innuendo. Back creek asked Companion a question, then instead of just letting her answer slide, the snark started. The pot stirrers who we always can count on to take their jabs all chimed in. They didn't like it when I pulled their own passive-aggressive crap with my post. So more passive aggressive innuendo was had. So please quit with the hypocritical bullchit. Some here want to say and snark whatever they see fit but when they get a little taste of it, they don't like it.

Companion, some have gone awfully quiet here. I would be careful what you post. You know darn well they are probably bandaging their sore trigger fingers from all the reporting of you they are doing. Now they will have to bandage a new finger to report me.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 244 (view)
 
what is so wrong with a single dad?
Posted: 2/14/2019 3:50:59 AM

Yes, there's nothing like the configuration of a vehicle to determine who to have a relationship with.

She might be on to something with this. I have two vehicles. One I only drive 6 months out of the year. The other I drive year round but it is usually crammed with work stuff. I can tell people I'm dating that I can only date them for for 6 months out of the year because I have to consider the configuration and availability of suitable vehicles. July, You are a friggen genius!
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/13/2019 10:13:10 AM

I don't know if google still has their phone number service or not, but you may want to consider a 2nd (very cheap) phone to use for dating only, if you have these kind of problems with sexting

There are even free apps that will give you a free number and the ability to call and text on your cell phone. Only friends and family get my real cell number. Everyone else gets the app number.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 184 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/13/2019 9:17:26 AM

I didn't think "reach out to" made a reference to tense. According to the dictionary definition, it means "to communicate with". "To communicate with" can include both present tense and future tense.

My post wasn't to get into a 3 page discussion of present past and future tense. I was just making the point, I assumed from the beginning she meant after the date. Others didn't. It in no way surprises me or is insinuating anyone not seeing this is in any way stupid. I don't think I'm the only one that has problems trying to decipher what the OP is trying to spit out.

I've found that this closed-mindedness occurs in both camps. More often than not, the camp that thinks the man should pay tends to belittle the camp that believes in going Dutch - often referring to the men as "cheap" and disparaging the women who contribute to the cost of dates


Quite honestly, both camps are equally vicious. Gold digger is thrown around equally with cheap men. To say one camp is worse than the other is not being objective. I try to worry about my own dating life, what others choose to do with theirs is not my business or concern. Who am I to tell anyone else what the proper way for them to date is or make assumptions that they way they choose to date is "new age" or "outdated". The only reason someone would do that is to either, be arrogant enough to think only their way is the right way, or to stir the pot.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Male SEQ/EEQ???
Posted: 2/13/2019 6:11:00 AM

Answers one question. Why you're here and not dating.

Trying to buffalo everybody with that just means you're unfit to talk to

lol this is why you're hawt!
 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 182 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/13/2019 4:40:33 AM

-if a date proceeds pleasantly and dutch treat is not chosen-the person who incurred the cost of the date- just as when receiving a present: is it prudent to ignore the "gender role" game and reach out to thank the party who incurred the expense?


With the OP using the wording "reach out" I assumed from the beginning she meant after the date. That would just be odd wording to use if you were talking about someone in the present tense. I admit, I'm confused most of the time this OP posts.



In choosing dutch treat it could remove many of such outdated ideas. yet is often very difficult to overcome and challenge the social- culture gender programming found in "over 45" dating


As soon as I read this I also assumed shades of a " who pays thread". Not everyone thinks it's an outdated idea, In fact, many don't. Those who don't choose to date in this way, don't need to, those who choose to, can. To say it's outdated and needs to be "overcome" is just a little extreme. That would be akin to saying all this dutch treat talk is a bunch of new age garbage that needs to be "overcome". I really don't understand why some people get so upset that some people choose to date differently than they do and then feel the need to force their views on everyone else. Comes across as awful closed minded for someone spouting "culture gender programming in over 45 dating".
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Valentines day and what it means to us 'life experienced' mature folks
Posted: 2/12/2019 6:15:38 AM
Chocolate, chocolate everywhere. My dying wish, a vat of chocolate to drown in.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why women chase after being rejected?
Posted: 2/12/2019 6:11:06 AM

When she is chasing you "hard," stand in front of a solid wall. Just keep standing there until the last minute ... DO NOT FLINCH!
I used to have to do this with a crazy Appaloosa we had that inevitably tried to run me down every time I entered the pasture.
Anyway, at the last second, step aside and she will run into the wall, knocking herself out. She will likely forget all about her interest in you when she comes to. Simple creatures, really .

 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Wish we could warn each other about bad dates
Posted: 2/11/2019 1:30:41 PM

The only thing worse would be catching him doing blow off of a hooker's ass

Thanks, there goes my coffee all over my keyboard. This whole thread is hilarious. Did everyone turn into stand up comedians today?
 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 400 (view)
 
Heartbroken(and it's not what you think)
Posted: 2/11/2019 12:39:25 PM
Sent you a private message Mr, Rise Above This.
 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 2759 (view)
 
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 2/11/2019 4:23:15 AM

Really? 85 pages of this shat? People without photos on their profile are:
a) Embarrassed to be on POF
b) In another relationship
c) Ugly
d) Trolling
e) Catfish
I'm sure there is more, but please. End this nonsense. Oops. I responded. End it after me. lol


LOL One of my new fav posters. No nonsense, cut to the chase, sans the bullchit. Careful though, some men get offended by a woman who speaks her mind. Soon you will be flooded with offers of wrinkle cream from the he man women haters club.
 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 398 (view)
 
Heartbroken(and it's not what you think)
Posted: 2/11/2019 3:57:32 AM

I don't think anyone knows about me. I'm bipolar and my anxiety is beyond something. I can't go out in public. Work or shopping quickly is all I can manage. No friends because they were all men and abandoned me because of the mental illness. I spend almost all my time alone. By the way I hadn't smoked pot for the longest time. I started the day I created this profile.


Sorry, I didn't see this sooner, I had to work all night. I have a family member who has anxiety much like you do, he also gets so paralyzed by it he cant leave his home. I can't say I know what it's like, but I have an idea of what you may go thru, just from my experiences with him. The most important thing is to keep taking your meds, if they aren't working, get them changed. Sometimes, smoking pot can make anxiety worse. If that's the case, maybe you should lay off.


I can't take the place of a male friend for you, but please feel free to message me if you ever need someone to talk to. You aren't alone. If I don't respond right away, I will get back to you, as soon as I can.
 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 396 (view)
 
Heartbroken(and it's not what you think)
Posted: 2/10/2019 4:03:26 PM
I hope things turn out the way you need them to. Sounds like you have anxiety.
 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 394 (view)
 
Heartbroken(and it's not what you think)
Posted: 2/10/2019 3:44:43 PM
I hope you are feeling ok, Rise.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Speed-dating aka multi-mini-interview type date format for mature folks like us
Posted: 2/10/2019 10:59:57 AM
I think speed dating would be fun to try. I would just hope I didn't come across someone who was really shy and not very talkative. That might be awkward. I haven't heard of any speed dating events in these parts in a long time.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 50 (view)
 
oy vey, alright!
Posted: 2/10/2019 10:17:02 AM

vvvvv....you’ve totally got the wrong end of the stick, all the comments were along the lines of women wondering if their piss-flaps are gonna be hanging out/dropping out the outfit. Some very creative and funny comments

Well golly gee, now that makes you even more of a class act.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 49 (view)
 
oy vey, alright!
Posted: 2/10/2019 10:06:48 AM

Grow up

LOL I hope you typed that with a straight face. I will let you get back to being catty on boohoo.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to taking candy from a baby no more then two times a day.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 47 (view)
 
oy vey, alright!
Posted: 2/10/2019 9:30:40 AM

I only have 2 rules when stirring:
Never naked.
Always wood.

Apparently, you forgot #3. Stirring even after declaring the pot empty.


I was looking at a very skimpy outfit off boohoo earlier.
The comments from the women had me howling, so funny. It’s the only reason I checked it out.
All in agreement the outfit was ‘out there’.

Somehow it doesn't surprise me in the least you're catty. I don't think I would be announcing it to the world though.

Tech, you were right. Lots of women who are insecure about their looks out there. Some don't even bother to filter their pics, they just don't bother to add one at all.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 2756 (view)
 
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 2/10/2019 8:53:31 AM

To be fair, it was actually TWO wrong numbers because he called back after the initial mis-dial ;-)

I have often found I have met people when I least expected to. One of my friends met there partner too, by a mis dialed number. I wonder how often this happens.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 44 (view)
 
oy vey, alright!
Posted: 2/10/2019 5:25:41 AM
^^^ Hey Rise, How does your garden grow? LOL
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 42 (view)
 
oy vey, alright!
Posted: 2/10/2019 4:34:37 AM

My friend sent me a fb link the other day of these super-sexy, half-naked guys dancing.
She knew I’d like it.
I happened to start reading some of the comments.
The hilarity that a bunch of women were arguing amongst themselves with gusto about something and nothing.
I watched the beautiful dancing men several times :)


Ironic, I was watching a video, for some reason while watching that video, this thread kept popping into MY head.
The video was called stirring conclusions. Now, I thought I knew everything there was to know about stirring. Why it is necessary to stir, which utensils are best to stir and where it is best in the pot to stir. Here is where the video got really weird, some in the video were making silly claims, like, stirring in hip waders, stirring in full body armour,, and chanting nasty sayings under your breath while stirring, somehow made you a more superior stirrer. Those who chose to stir in normal clothing, minus the chanting, who chose to stir with just spoons, spatulas, and whisks, of course, just laughed and laughed at the crazy pot stirrers. Anyhow, what the video concluded with was, never use a metal spoon for stirring a pot, it is much smaller than its cousin the wooden spoon and can cause some of its ingredients to burn more easily.

The internet sure does have some great videos. Not sure why I was associating this thread with that one. The good news is, I finally came up with a title for that book I have been writing. " When The Righteous Fall Back To Earth With A Thump". I like that. Do you all think that would be a great book title? I bet you all can't resist giving me a few more book title ideas, can you?
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why do some women want to talk on the phone while driving their car?
Posted: 2/9/2019 2:10:17 PM

why is talking a phone considered a distraction....but talking to someone that is sitting beside you or behind you not???
Here in good old Ontario, first offence driving while talking on your phone or texting is automatic 3 day suspension and $1000.00 fine. Yet if you have blue tooth you can chat till your hearts content. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Personally, either way, I find it distracting.


I LOVE Walmart, & have often considered living there,

You guys have way better stores than we do in Canada. What I wouldn't do for a Hobby Lobby here!
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/9/2019 11:35:56 AM

Send some this way, too 'not another angry guy'~
Those anti-aging lotions and potions are very pricey

Hands off my wrinkle cream. You look fantastic and don't need it.


I was offering help, not condemning him or insulting ALL short men. how tall do we need to be to post here?

Glad you made it back. I was beginning to think you may have fell while reaching for your meds. Just wait until someone puts forth the argument that women not dating short men is discrimination but short guys not dating overweight women is a preference. It won't be long until you are musing whether to slit your own throat now or have someone else do it for you later.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Male SEQ/EEQ???
Posted: 2/9/2019 7:42:24 AM

Going on about??" ONCE AGAIN YOU ARE utilizing derogatory/superior/condescending language, if indeed, your agenda is communication

Oh good grief. I am Not going to pander to you by sugar coating everything. I'm not quite sure how what I wrote was offensive, and quite honestly, I don't want to spend the next 20 posts from you trying to figure it out. I will say though, I do understand, more and more, everyday, why some men say women are crazy! Its abundantly clear sometimes. Is that maybe why their posts stand? I hope that was on topic, not sure though.
 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Male SEQ/EEQ???
Posted: 2/9/2019 6:31:17 AM
Once again, You need to be a little more specific with what you are talking about. Not sure what SEQ/ EEQ is. It might be helpful if you explained that to begin with. No offense, sometimes I have a hard time trying to figure out what you are even going on about.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/9/2019 4:30:15 AM

that would be tragic. my meds are on the top shelf of medicine cabinet and I am too short to reach them

I would guess this could possibly be one of the drawbacks of having a short man for a partner. Not only would you have to reach everything on the top shelves for him, he might drop dead from not being able to reach his meds. Who wants to be a widow by 50, not me.


I did notice an unopened tube of wrinkle cream on the bottom shelf, I could send it to you next time I have a guest tall enough to reach the mailbox.
Seriously, if you really mean it though, as long as its the expensive stuff, I will send you my address. That shiat is expensive here. And here I thought you were just another angry guy.
I
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/8/2019 5:29:04 PM

women don't like short men , I get it!!! why so rude? he posted it (without your approval) and I responded. maybe just don't read it? how about 'men don't like self centered women'? how would that rate on a scale 1-10?


That would rate quite well on a scale of 1-10. It would also be a lot more interesting and a more original topic. BTW, You seem angry tonight. You know, You really shouldn't let random women on the internet get under your skin, it's stress inducing and might just cause a heart attack.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 1075 (view)
 
Bald guys
Posted: 2/8/2019 5:09:10 PM

That's not true at all. Some women love bald men.

Yes they do. Bald men are sexy as all get out.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Women always wanting men quite taller than them
Posted: 2/8/2019 5:00:51 PM
Seriously? Has this not been done to death? We have done this several times and it has been determined that women don't like short men. There I just saved you ten or so pages of bullchit.

How about, do women like men with zits and bad breath? or just zits? Do women like men who constantly complain that they are short and no women want them? Better yet, Do women even like men at all? I have given you a few ideas, please feel free to pick one of those or come up with something original of your own.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Creepy profile pictures and it's just getting worse.
Posted: 2/8/2019 3:31:09 AM

Somehow, I've been reminded of Amy Schumer's character in the movie, "I Feel Pretty".

Calm down Granny Skyes, they aren't handing out any cash awards for being the prettiest woman on the forums.

Thank you, Companion, for your thoughts. Not only are you beautiful but you are smart too.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 146 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/7/2019 5:13:23 PM

Again, I think this is a POF thing...and I get it.
It will never be abolished on POF.
Not sure why anyone would get worked up about anything that happens
on here.

I don't think it will be abolished either. I don't really think anyone is getting to worked up about anything on here. Just exchanging their opinions and giving their reasons for those opinions. Where else can you go argue for 10 pages about the correct way for others to manage their dating lives. This is POF forums after all.


Who cares what someone you don't know rates you? I know
what my number is....hahahaha!

It has nothing to do with what number you are being assigned or rating you are given. Its about dehumanizing someone to a number on a scale. Valuing them for nothing other then their appearance of feckability by assigning them a number on a scale.


except, why do men even pay for a date? are they trying to bribe a woman into being a lifetime text buddy? a friend? or are men doing what animals do when doing a mating dance to show off virility--trying to impress the woman into thinking they are a worthy sex partner. why do women have such a general aversion to broke dudes, can't they have great personalities as well? some demisexuals date only for companionship, but many do it to get laid--they have a ton of friends for companionship. They go out for dinner with the bf, and then go home for "dessert", and they really want to lust after that dessert. We could debate which is better, to fall in love and then have sex, or to have our physical needs met and learn if we can imagine this partner becoming our forever romantic partner. everyone has to move at the speed they are comfortable with, but obviously there are women who come here and complain about the man they are having sex with--apparently they took the latter path. i wonder what drove them to it--maybe it was b/c he's an 8 :)


There is some good work out there on what is healthy admiration of womens bodies and when it crosses over to objectification. It's not that women dont objectify men but the consequences for women are bigger. Objectification of women can lead to sexual assault, victim blaming, unwanted cat calling, and having your value in society based solely on what you look like. Men don't usually suffer these consequences.

of course, there are plenty of women already objectifying themselves. the ones with the profiles filled with cleavage photos, for example. they look like an eBay sale, showing off every side of what they are selling so the buyer knows what they are getting. and off line, there's plenty of women who dress as tho their job is to be sexy rather than creative with their color choices. those who rank high on any scale, don't seem to complain when it lands them the hunk they want. their complaints come later when they couldn't get everything.

Of course there are plenty of women who objectify there selves. Women are taught from a young age that their looks are what matter, above all else. When they are constantly subjected to scales and men rating them, seeing them not as people but body parts. After awhile, they start to look at themselves like that. Ask any young woman what compliment she would rather receive, You are beautiful, or You are a capable person.


Men are visual creatures, and while your male coworkers may not rate a woman's physical attractiveness around you...if human nature is any consideration, they are doing it. i liked whiterose's link however, how many men are rated on their hygeine regime. that was interesting. too bad for those who work for a living :) lol
I have caught them rating women before. I try to use it as a teachable moment. To think if they would like their mother or daughter or sister to be seen as nothing more than a number on a scale. Since most are being re integrated back into society, sometimes I have to just accept, they get its not okay to do at work.

According to the Psychology of Women Quarterly.... The moment you start seeing a woman as nothing more than a depersonalized body part for your sexual gratification, you've reduced her to her body parts. That's when admiration ends and objectification begins.
 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 2748 (view)
 
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 2/7/2019 5:38:25 AM
Way back when I met someone from this site without a pic. I met them mostly because I was sure I was being catfished by someone. Although this person was very sociable, I just wasn't attracted to them. I friend zoned them fairly quickly. Turned out I wasn't being catfished.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Creepy profile pictures and it's just getting worse.
Posted: 2/7/2019 4:28:00 AM

That is pretty sad that there really are people who do that, give someone a pass.

I'm quite sure lots of people do give others a pass. Just NOT when they try to justify their bad behavior. When they start to show some insight, that is when passes are usually given.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 138 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/7/2019 4:16:20 AM

Strat... Hold on to your hat. I am going to commend you for once.

Doesn't really surprise me. Most reasonable people realize this isn't normal behavior.


You are an extremist.

I don't think I'm an extremist. It's pretty much taken for granted here that you don't participate in this type of behavior without consequences. My daughters companies could get fined millions of dollars if I went into work this morning and started to rate my male employees on a number scale, based on their attractiveness. I know Canada is a lot more progressive than the States but I would doubt that this is acceptable behavior there, either. In some places here, you can even be dismissed from your job for using sexist or racist language outside the workplace. Example: Facebook.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Creepy profile pictures and it's just getting worse.
Posted: 2/7/2019 3:50:45 AM

Why on earth would someone legally tie themselves to another person based on something so shallow?

Same reason some of these guys use a rating scale for women. They don't like women very much and see them as nothing but a sexual commodity. Jeeze, some women sure get offended over some guy making a post about some woman being ugly, but will give a pass to the same guy if he just put her on his number scale. Ironic, eh?
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 133 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/6/2019 4:45:30 AM
I really don't understand how anyone could justify using a rating scale to describe someone's looks. It's basically putting a value on them as a sexual commodity. I'm sure the women who were put on the Harvard men's soccer team's rating scale would agree. Objectification means
you are treating someone like something. To pass it off as innocent "descriptives" is being obtuse. To say," No, I don't think Cheryl is attractive", is NOT dehumanizing. To say she is a 2/10, is dehumanizing. This sort of behaviour has been going on for quite some time, people just assume its normal, its NOT and can be harmful. Example, eating disorders. This behaviour is also changing, slowly, the masses are being edumacated. There will always be the men who just don't get it and the women who justify it. I just hope if I ever get lucky enough to have grandchildren, they won't have to deal with this crap!

If I were to start assigning people here numbers from 1-10, basing it on their looks, they would go shrieking to mods before the day was out. It suddenly would be way more than an innocent descriptor.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/5/2019 3:10:54 PM
^^^ Just can't respond to your post. Being so distraught with my emotions being so clouded and all. Thank you for explaining once again, what I think, or am feeling. What would I do with out you to mansplain everything to me.
I will leave you with the quote , again, I left you with earlier. Maybe when you quit being so emotionally hysterical, it may sink in, or not.
"Because its natural for men not to consider women fully human. It's a woman's responsibility to understand and accept they never will be".
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Why Are People Obsessed With Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez?
Posted: 2/5/2019 2:08:35 PM

When did we become a nation of such simpletins? Or have the people always been this dumb?

Apparently, there is even a term for that, the term is, the flight from complexity. Its an understated way of saying that people are stupid and they enjoy being so.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 127 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/5/2019 5:52:03 AM

First, you bringing up the side topic of me using #s in the looks dept

Actually, its not a side topic. You pulled the equal rights card to try to make a point. My questioning of your hypocrisy in that is valid. I have experienced your mansplaining first hand, You will have to excuse me if I find the fact you would pull that card quite laughable.


So if you believe that saying someone's a 7/10 in looks is objectifying them,

Anytime you reduce someone to something, be it a number, you are dehumanizing them.


So you're saying one's looks is their worth? Who's objectifying people now? :)

Don't attempt to put your behaviour on me. I have read plenty of your posts where it was clearly implied a woman's dating worth or who she was going to score a date with was solely dependant on her looks, or feckability, lowering her to nothing but a sexual commodity.

I know, I know, people have done the scale thing for forever. I have done it in the past myself. That doesn't mean it's ok and harmless. I just find it amusing when the same guys who pull the equal rights card are usually the same guys who are first to call women sluts, throw them on some arbitrary number scale basing everything on their appearance. It seems as if, equal rights only apply when it fits their agenda!
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/4/2019 5:01:52 AM

To turn that into, she somehow demanded my money is just hyperbole and one of the stupidest comments I have seen posted in quite some time. That poster doesn't seem to understand, it's a date, not a mugging.

lolololololololol Not laughing at you forum fairy. That just struck me as funny. Yep, terribly sad, but there are some men who equate dating with a robbery. They seem to only exist on POF forums. Their contempt of women is obvious in their posts, their anger usually shines glaringly through, too. So much easier to date men who actually like women.

It is completely laughable to imply I point to Women on a number scale when sizing up looks -- and not men.

So as long as you objectify men too, it A-OK. I don't think it's acceptable to objectify anyone. Peoples worth shouldn't be judged by a number on a scale.
Chadwick Mixon wrote a great article on this subject. I will leave you with a quote.
" Because its natural for men not to consider women fully human, It's a women's responsibility to understand and accept that they never will be".


So i guess after the date ends- appreciation of enjoying another human being and wanting to see them again is only acceptable behavior if you have a PENIS!!!

Good grief OP. By all means, please, text, email, send your good wishes by carrier Pidgeon. Send my dates follow up emails if it will relieve your anxiety. Just relax, you're carrying on like men deserve some kind of hero worship for dating you. If you can't tell how the date went after you were on it, maybe you just can't read social cues.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/3/2019 5:08:01 AM

Very Very different nowadays in the working/finances world.

Coming from a guy who often objectifies women by putting them on a number scale. I have to say, this sudden attempt at trying to make your point by pulling the old equal rights card, is laughable, at best. I guess it comes in handy when it suits your agenda, eh?


Something a pervert or over - sexed crude 12 year old might say ^^^ I agree 100 % FF, it is an affront to anyone that respects women, including themselves. I was thinking exactly the same

Couldn't agree more boys.! There still is some keepers here on POF.



At this point in life I'm not particularly interested in marriage but having an ongoing relationship with a woman would be nice. I'd state in my profile I'm not interested in marriage but wonder if most women will be turned off and assume I'm one who is only looking for sex which is not the case.

I think your best bet is just to be honest. You might turn away some women, they probably aren't the women you want to reach anyway. I know there are women who look for the same kind of relationship as you do.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/1/2019 12:45:07 PM

Will you be thanking the pizza delivery guy?

or will giving him a huge tip be thanks enough? or would that make him feel like penny stock.? So many questions, I think steak is the answer, well done, of course.
 SomeWhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/1/2019 5:18:24 AM

So if i need to pose as ingracious to capture a heart I don';t want that heart>

Ummm.this is the part you don't seem to be getting thru your thick skull...… Being gracious on the date for most people is enough. If you think a follow up email is warranted, go ahead and follow up. BUT, who are you to judge the way any one else chooses to handle their dating life. If two consenting adults decide they would like to spend some time together and the male decides he would like to pay for dinner, who are YOU to pass judgements on them. If that's not your preferred style of dating, DON'T date that way. Just cool it with your petty judgements Your dating preferences make you NO more superior or adult to anyone else that happens to have different dating preferences. This will really make your skin crawl.... I have two dates this weekend. The gentleman will be paying for dinner and movies or club on both dates. That is how WE choose to conduct our dating lives. I will be gracious on these dates, have dated both these men before. They asked me out again, I didn't feel any pressure after either date. MY dating life works for me and for those I date.


BTW, I have my own money. I donate to charity on a monthly basis more than most make in a year. So don't YOU dare ever insinuate I'm a GOLDDIGGER again, you nasty piece of garbage!. I prefer my money in bills, that coin just gets too heavy although it does jingle>
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 2/1/2019 4:00:36 AM

I recently went on a pretty great first date, but I worried that I unintentionally sent a bit of mixed signal at the end of the night. By the next evening--when I had not received a follow-up text from the dude who'd taken me out--I fretted, and asked my friend Harry Berkeley if I should send good-date guy a little note saying Thanks for such a nice time, or some such. Emphatically, Harry said "No! Let him do the work."

Yesterday, I found some evidence that Harry's advice was on the money. For her new book Have Him At Hello, Professional matchmaker Rachel Greenwald interviewed 1,000 single guys to find out what turns "marriage-minded" men on--and off. As she notes in a post she did for Huff-Po, she talked to guys who went out with her clients but DIDN'T call back after a date and also talked to happily hitched guys; she needled all of them, asking for detailed feedback about why they thought some women had immediate potential, and others didn't. In her post, she describes the three lessons she found most surprising. Let me summarize them for you.

(I'll give you the most interesting finding last, and the least interesting first.)

1. NEVER SAY NEVER

Greenwald found that men tend to write off women who say things like "I'll never move out of Brooklyn--I love it here!" Or "Not in a million years would I give up working full-time!" It seems that men like women who come across as flexible, and that those who say "never this" or "never that" seem too difficult and unyielding. So Greenwald advises you hold on to your opinions ... but never say never out loud when a date is asking you about your plans for the future. (Unless you're saying "You never know.")

2. NEVER FAIL TO

OFFER

TO PAY

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW



Greenwald also learned that 84% of marriage-minded men expect to pay the bill on a first date--but that they don't like it when a woman takes their generosity as a given. Men appreciate the gesture when women offer to contribute to the bill--although if they're into you, they won't let you (though they might let you pay for the post-prandial drink). She notes, "If he allows you to split the bill, you probably won't be hearing from him again (or if he does call back, it's doubtful he's interested in anything serious.") I think she's right ... when it comes to men who are serious about getting married. (But maybe we can get a little deeper into the question of the paying stuff tomorrow, or later this week.)

A side note: I personally rarely say never--because as much as I love Brooklyn, and am fairly certain there is no other city I'd like better, I'd be willing to move to L.A. if I found a nice screenwriter, or to consider Ann Arbor if I found a nice English professor, or to try Scandinavia, even, if I discovered a sexy sculptor who resided there. And I usually offer to pay, because that feels polite. As such, the lesson that I found most helpful was Greenwald's third:

3. NEVER SEND A "THANK YOU" EMAIL (OR TEXT) AFTER A DATE

Here's why, according to Greenwald: "Men told me that while they appreciate the 'thank-you-email,' it ultimately causes them to lose interest in a woman, because men like the chase." And when they get a gracious message the next day, instead of making them think you have great manners,[u] it makes them think you're a little desperate.[/u] "Even if he enjoyed your date, the thank-you-email is more deflating than endearing (on average) because, if he liked you too, he'd want to contact you first to pursue you," she says. "The fix? Thank him graciously at the end of the date, but don't steal his thunder the next day." She says if you don't hear from him at all, that simply means he's just not that into you.

I hate to say it, because I like to think we woman should be able to do whatever the hell we want to do ... but I think Greenwald's right.

Girls? Boys? What do you think? Ladies, have you had a good experience after sending a thank-you email?

xxx

Sounds about right to me. Especially #3. Most men are NOT stupid. Being gracious on the date is enough. Not only is it overkill, you begin to look desperate for another date. Perhaps that is where that pressure some speak of comes from?

I would add #4 If the guy pulls out his wallet to pay, DON'T under any circumstances, start screaming in the middle of the restaurant, at your date. Letting everyone else present think YOU think he is treating you like a penny stock commodity, is certainly NOT the way to get him to ask you out again. All the THANK YOUS in the world are probably not going to get you another date with him after that!
 somewhereinthestratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 1/31/2019 3:43:56 PM

Removes a great deal of pressure

Dare I ask what all this pressure everyone is suppose to be feeling is all about? I've been on many dates, I have never felt "pressure" after any of them. Oh wait, I have felt pressure in my bladder, needing to pee, I'm thinking, somehow, that's not the pressure you speak of. Is a text acceptable? or is a phone call the only acceptable form of communication?
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 1/31/2019 5:49:42 AM

-and it becomes a commodity exchange not an intimacy exchange

Much like men who equate dating as a form of prostitution, women who equate men paying for a date as a commodity exchange, shows someone with far bigger issues than this, they probably shouldn't be dating.
 Somewhereinthestratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Dating Etiquette of 21 century ADULTS
Posted: 1/31/2019 5:17:02 AM

this is my opinion & you may quote me on that

Don't apologize for your opinion, Backcreek. You are entitled to yours just as much as anyone else. Yours was right on topic. The OP clearly meant more than showing graciousness on a date when she added this part.

In choosing dutch treat it could remove many of such outdated ideas. yet is often very difficult to overcome and challenge the social- culture gender programming found in "over 45" dating.

I'm not quite sure where some folks get the idea that a man paying for a date is out of vogue. I know plenty of people of all ages, its the norm with most! The only place this is considered outdated is here on POF.
 
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