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 Author Thread: confused with a crush
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
confused with a crush
Posted: 2/25/2010 9:41:43 AM
Sefra_

Well done kid!
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 382 (view)
 
When is flirting cheating?
Posted: 2/25/2010 9:32:02 AM
Johnny-

First of all, if you even have to ask, you already know it's wrong. I can promise you this, if she was doing it, you would not like it one bit. Again..........your wrong.

You're a grown man in a monogamous relationship. WTF are you doing? Take some of that energy you waste flirting with these faceless women, and direct it towards her.

I wouldn't call it cheating, but it's certainly deceitful.

Do the right thing.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Ok, it's over...but what happened...different rules?
Posted: 2/24/2010 4:38:04 PM
"There's your answer. You had 3 dates. She doesn't respond. She's done. Move on."

This is absolutely the reason she mentioned this little tidbit. She was hoping that you can figure it out. So.........................figure it out.

From experience, dating a girl 24 year old is all real cool for the ego, but there really can't be much of a true connection in the end.

Also.............and I could be wrong, if you really like a girl, and feel it might have a chance to flourish, DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HER too early in the dating stage! As much as sex is important in a relationship, it should wait until you have one. Now, if you feel like it's not going to go anywhere, sleep with her if she wants to.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Is being too much like a stereotypical bachelor, or would you be ok with it?
Posted: 2/24/2010 1:36:25 PM
"So....is my realtor right?"

Of course she's not right! This tapper can be removed in no time. Only a uptight, pretentious snob would not buy the house because of a tapper. If they like the house.......you, or the new owner can remove it. Not even an issue.

If you ask me..........................BRILLIANT!
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Ex's that just don't get, NO!
Posted: 2/24/2010 1:23:36 PM
“we will keep it on the DL”

That means she wants the two of you to have sex and neither one will say anything. Keep it on the down low.
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Is it over?
Posted: 2/24/2010 12:13:21 PM
This may be hard to do if you really care for this guy. But, I would pull back a little to see his reaction. If he's not making an effort to spend time with you, then he got what he wanted without have to say anything. He may find himself yearning for you a little more.

The "unsure" part that he talks about is just a way of preparing your and cushioning the blow for you if/when it ends. Personally...................I don't think he wants to be in committed relationship with you. I'm really sorry to say that. But I am a man, and I have a pretty good idea how we think.

Besides......................you are a very attractive 29 year old! What are you worried about?

Good luck,

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 48 (view)
 
The Legal Separation....
Posted: 2/24/2010 11:29:44 AM
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2. A separation agreement will be the official legal document used to settle the marital issues upon divorce. Your final judgment or decree for divorce will reference your agreement and the court will order your divorce according to the contents of your agreement.

3. Getting a "Legal Separation" is also a valid reason to have a separation agreement. Legal Separations are not very popular in Utah (most Utah lawyers do not even do them). The legal separation filing process is very similar to a divorce, so rarely is it the first option. If you are considering a legal separation, here are some of the laws regarding Utah legal separations:

The grounds for legal separation are: (1) willful desertion; (2) living separate and apart without cohabitation; and (3) gross neglect. The deserting spouse must be a resident of Utah, or own property in the state in which the deserted spouse lives. [Utah Code Annotated; Section 30-4-1].

Also, about your baby......It's better to come from a dysfunctional family, than live in one.
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 68 (view)
 
men outnumber women on dating sites Fact? or Myth?
Posted: 2/24/2010 7:20:04 AM
Here's something. Match.com told ABC news that their ratio is 59% men to 41% women. I'm sure it's pretty close to that across the board on all sites.
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Just friends? Really?
Posted: 2/24/2010 7:01:01 AM
First of all...........if you are really looking for "just friends", you should not be talking to men. They are ALWAYS going to try to take if further. History has shown us that men and women can probably not be just friends. There is always going to be the sex thing out there. I mean think about it. Why would a man and women want to be "just friends?" Are there not enough people in your own sex to be friends with? Men and women are put together to be with each other in a loving, caring, physical, affectionate way.
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Is there chemistry or is it strictly plutonic
Posted: 2/24/2010 6:52:28 AM
Platonic!? First..........you have to be friends. Then..........you have to be free from physical love. You just met this girl! There is zero there. No platonic..........no nothing.
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Is it a deal breaker someone does not answer the phone?
Posted: 2/23/2010 8:12:26 PM
If she doesn't want to talk.............answer the phone and say something to that effect, politely. Not answering is ignorant and a clear sign of disrespect. It also tells you where you stand in her life.
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
confused with a crush
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:39:37 PM
You, my friend, are her "ace in the hole". Run!
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How do ask this question?
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:37:24 PM
Sweet- Like I said in my OP................It could be 5 min or and hour and a half. Honestly, I'm driving THAT far for a relationship. And no.........I do not want somebody in my neighborhood. Just somebody that's not a weekend trip distance.

Chicago has over 200 "neighborhoods". All have given names.

Thank you though Sweet!

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 40 (view)
 
**2-26-10**NIKOS** DANCE/MIXER
Posted: 2/23/2010 6:57:33 PM
This really sounds like a lot of fun. I am going to try to make it.

Thanks for the invite!

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Constantly Haunted By Ex
Posted: 2/23/2010 12:10:13 PM
Nina- Congratulations on the job! It's no accident. It is God working in you and for you.

Think about this quote:

The moment there is suspicion about a person's motives, everything he does becomes tainted.

Just think about what you want to do before you commit.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How do ask this question?
Posted: 2/22/2010 10:57:30 AM
Thanks so much girls. I think I got the idea. Maybe I was just over thinking it.

Thanks again.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How do ask this question?
Posted: 2/22/2010 10:04:05 AM
OK..........I live in the Chicago area. Chicago is a pretty big city. When a girl puts that she is from Chicago, it could be anywhere. I mean, she could be 5 min from me, or an hour and a half from me. How can I find out which part of the city she's from without freaking her out or having her feeling uneasy........you know, with all the freaks out there. Thanks.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Can She Be Trusted Or Not??
Posted: 2/22/2010 8:03:42 AM
Brad- To keep it simple..............end the relationship. It sounds like there's always going to be things popping up that are going to make you think. Don't put yourself through that.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Constantly Haunted By Ex
Posted: 2/22/2010 7:46:39 AM
Thanks for the response Nina. Keep us all informed on how this is going. You are number one! Remember that.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Constantly Haunted By Ex
Posted: 2/22/2010 7:26:17 AM
Nina- I hate to say this, but I'm sure deep down you know what to do. His heart is not fully with you. He has not, and is probably never going to get over the ex. If he has to be in touch with her, that's a major problem. He CAN NOT let go! If he is doing it behind your back, he knows it's wrong. I'm quite certain that you love him, which makes what you clearly have to do that much more difficult. You can't give your heart to someone and not be given his back. Please don't put yourself through this anymore. Trust me from my own experience........the problem will not go away. And yes, it's a MAJOR PROBLEM!

Good luck Nina!

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Can you be Friends with an ex?
Posted: 2/21/2010 6:38:25 AM
It's difficult enough to be "only friends" with an member of the opposite sex, yet alone a former lover. It's actually crazy to even consider it. Don't you have friends already? Why would you want to be friends with an ex? Are you kidding here? Friendly? Yes, that's great. But friends? Move on with your life and find someone who is looking to be your lover, not your friend.
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
GF's gone clubbing
Posted: 2/21/2010 5:34:44 AM
My opinion is that you should not spend/waste your time with this type of person. Clubbing is for some reason, very important to her. This is the real her.......trust me pal. Cut ties asap.
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Need advice: getting divorced with self-employed mother of my children
Posted: 2/18/2010 9:03:43 AM
My friend. I got a ****ing stomach ache reading your post.

Why on earth would you pay her even ONE DIME more than you're required. I went through a monster nightmare of a divorce in 1992 with my ex nut. I so want to feel bad for you...........but if you are voluntarily giving her more money, I can't. **** her! Worry about your kids bro. That's what's important.

I'm sorry to come off so ignorant............but this really brought back some bad memories and touche a big nerve.

Good luck pal.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
When men get caught out
Posted: 2/18/2010 7:49:30 AM
rain- Well said!
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
 
At Our Age Do You Date to Date or Find a Mate?
Posted: 2/18/2010 6:20:52 AM
I can say with confidence that, people date because they haven't found that right person. I mean, who would "date to date?" Being with someone special beats the shit out of "dating." In other words...........when you find the right person, stop! LOL!

Have a great day.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Meeting up..with a friend of my ex.
Posted: 2/18/2010 5:43:59 AM
It appears there has always been some little attraction between the two of you. You're kidding yourself if you think not. I also believe those "flirty encounters" were not as harmless as you are saying. People don't flirt with someone they have no interest in. Besides, it upset your man at the time. That speaks volumes for the situation.

Another observation. If you have no children or any other kind of ties with your ex, why do you still stay in touch? That's kind of weird if you ask me. If you and your ex are able to sever ties like most people do when they break up...........you should be able to go out with this other guy with zero reservations. Of course you still talk to the ex, so it is going to be awkward. You're gonna here the " I knew it's" and crap like that. You probably and shouldn't be in touch with both. That is very abnormal. Talk about starting problems with everybody involved. This would do it. Also, it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that a man and women can go from lovers to friends. Friends to lovers, yes. The other way around, no. Like it or not...........there is ALWAYS going to be a certain feeling that "just friends" don't share.

Sever ties with the ex. After all.........he is your EX! If you can't sever ties with him, then it looks like there is still something between the two of you. And that's a whole different problem.

Good luck to ya,

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Please help with my profile. Thanks!
Posted: 2/17/2010 11:27:46 AM
Thank you...........all three of you. You have been helpful. I'm reading some info on how to write a good profile. I'm sure I'll get there. I'm also going to modify my pics. Thanks again friends.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Please help with my profile. Thanks!
Posted: 2/16/2010 12:58:19 PM
Thanks for your honesty Tracy. I'll have to work on it.

Tom
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Please help with my profile. Thanks!
Posted: 2/16/2010 12:02:24 PM
I don't know what to put on these things. I just got divorced and have no experience with on line dating. Nobody seems to be interested in me. Is my profile bad? Are my pics bad? Am I ugly?

Please be honest. I'm pretty thick skinned. Thanks.
 handsomelaughs
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
I Need An Explanation
Posted: 2/16/2010 5:25:25 AM
You went out with an ignorant person who knew that if she ignored you long enough, you would leave. She had zero interest in you bro. You did the right thing.
 
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