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 Author Thread: is it time to give up the idea of having kids after 35?
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
is it time to give up the idea of having kids after 35?
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:27:44 AM
at 35 your time may not be up... but start thinking seriously if you want kids.. as the time to make this choice does not go on forever. If your health is good you can have kids up into your 40's...
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Why do I seem to can't find the right man
Posted: 3/31/2013 6:49:52 AM
OP you need to up your online dating skills to sort through the guys faster... its YOU who picks, so your obviously not choosing the right one for you. Why are you taking it so personal when they prove they are not right for you ?? learn to say NEXT ! learn to do it in a better way than telling them off too. Why do that ? Instead you can say : sorry your not who I was looking for or even just ignore them. You need to work on your picker It apparently does not work
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
thanks but no thanks?
Posted: 3/25/2013 6:40:38 AM
no responses IS thanks but no thanks !!!
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
 
HE CANT KISS!!! for the love of God.HELP!
Posted: 3/25/2013 6:40:02 AM
bad kisser= no chemistry

say bye bye now and save yourself any more bad kissing
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Help! I think I'm lovesick already?!
Posted: 3/25/2013 6:38:03 AM


I find myself now giddy like a bloody teenager, and the butterflies and everything that go with it were lovely to begin with...


drop him and find someone you can be yourself with.. not on hormone overdrive... because all this is going to do is and badly anyway.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Life is getting way to complicated
Posted: 3/25/2013 6:36:07 AM
eh, don't worry... they will soon be implanting a chip to simplify things for everyone.. LOL
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Will She Give Me Another Chance
Posted: 3/25/2013 6:34:46 AM
you need to be asking her, not us............................... this is not the psychic hotline
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/25/2013 6:31:42 AM
In dating... you make choices... if you choose to accept this man and he smokes, stop trying to change him. If the smoking bothers you, find someone who does not smoke. This is dating !!! YOU PICK AND CHOOSE... if you say ok kowing he smokes and keep talking to him... then your going to have to suck it up about his smoking and tolerate it. There is no other way. He is what he is !
Why "mention" it ??? you think he doesn't know he lied and trying to BS you? .. take people as they are or stop all communication. That is how you find the right person for yourself ... !!!

If it were me... since I found out he misrepresented the situation of his smoking, it would be bye bye, no more communication.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
curves.. disgrace or embrace??
Posted: 3/21/2013 6:45:27 AM
Your profile pics tell a story... it has nothing to do with your weight... secondly, if your weight bothers you go on a weight loss diet. It would be easier ( much easier) to lose some weight than change peoples ideas of attractiveness. The better shape your in increases the amount of interested men, from which you can pic and choose.

I feel from your pictures, you do not realize the image you portray and what it is saying... the bottles of booze, the thong... your baiting your hook for disaster in dating.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Why do men think women want to jump in bed right off the bat?
Posted: 3/21/2013 6:41:55 AM
There are lots of guys who think dating site is a place to find casual sex.. its up to you to pre qualify them for a date... do meet and greets, ask the right questions... if there is anything they say or do to make you even question them, move on to the next....
I think your problem is the result of not qualifying the guys enough and in your picker being off if this keeps happening.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is being a responsible adult unattractive?
Posted: 3/21/2013 6:31:48 AM
you set your sites on someone who does not share your lifestyle... its that simple, stop going after people who are not right for you. Stop trying to change someone to fit YOU and find someone who is already living the way you idealize.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Guys with long hair.
Posted: 3/18/2013 11:45:17 AM
If he has long hair because:

his job requires him to do so... or he has a image to keep up at work ( shampoo model ???)...
perhaps a rock star or celebrity... someone who plays football for the Pittsburgh steelers and known for his hair, does TV commercials, the model of a cover of a series of romance novels...
or growing it because he is in a movie and the character must have long hair...

there is no problem ..................... otherwise... forget it.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Transitioning with older children after divorce
Posted: 3/18/2013 11:38:59 AM
It is likely this "friendship" is actually more habit than a real friendship. The basis of it is actually the children
who are not children anymore.... it should go into AQUAINTANCE category of friendships... so you can move on.
I would see there would be no need to communicate often anymore... maybe never really was if your asking if you should move on from it.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Mother lives with me. Any hope of finding the one?
Posted: 3/17/2013 2:52:40 PM
mother lives with you, massive restrictions.. I'd say forget it... most women are not going down that road... if your mother is involved in your personal life and dating, even worse... I would never date a man like that... the kind thing to do at her age is put her in an assisted living so she can do stuff people her age like doing and she can make friends her age... they have fun at them places if they want to... always something to do.

I would run from a situation like that for numerous reasons... being put into her caretaker role would be one of them...
plus a lot more.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Says his feelings aren't growing anywhere.
Posted: 3/17/2013 2:48:19 PM
if you slept with him.. he is saying... thank you and goodbye with some lame excuse...

blaming it on his fathers health... yeah he lost interest... say goodbye and shut the door and don't be his booty call girl
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
What does athletic mean to the women?
Posted: 3/17/2013 2:45:57 PM
athletic to me means plays professional sports....as in athlete .... and gets the millions to play them... anything else is a wannabe, a dreamer
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
When does comedic sarcasm become cruel?
Posted: 3/17/2013 2:41:13 PM
OP
you must be new to online dating, dating sites... all I can say is " good luck to you" your going to
be very surprised I guess.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Intentional drama
Posted: 3/15/2013 2:30:28 PM
My husbands ex made a few attempts to create BIG drama... coming over, demanding to come in, making up
stupid reasons she had to see him/ have him do things for her...
We had to call the police on her twice. She later filled his kids heads with false information and rewarded the kids for
disrespecting dad and me........
It only hurt her as she created monsters and they played her just like she was teaching them how to play dad.. it all fell back on her.
If your ex is just plain crazy and prone to this kind of thing not much you can do but use good boundries with her...
if you don't or won't she will in fact try to destroy your life and future.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
The fastest date that you have been on
Posted: 3/14/2013 4:18:56 AM
OP I have been on a date that short.
I met a guy and when I got 3 feet from him.. I saw he looked nothing like his pictures,
I had NO attraction to him ( maybe even repulsed by the sight of him)
I did not shake hands...
what I did do was get up and say "sorry, not gonna happen" and walked off. The creep vibe I got from him was
over the top and I don't owe him anything.
I saw him as Frank N. Stein................................... no meet and greet, no date... it was the end as soon as I laid my eyes on him
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Anybody been in this situation...?
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:41:11 AM
sounds like so much drama....

I run from drama. why don't you ?
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Not communicating, for the sake of not communicating?
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:39:28 AM
You need to trust yourself and if you feel something is OFF, then stop all communication.

If you feel he is playing a game, he likely is...

Stop communication and look for someone you feel good with, comfortable... there are plenty of guys out there
to choose from !!!
This one not a keeper. I say blow him off....
this will make him contact you more... ignore him and forget his name
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:33:37 AM
I feel anyone emotionally healthy is going to get the vibes from you early on... you idolize your ex as well as the other... no woman wants to be second, esp to someones ex ( dead or alive)
You should let anyone you date early on... and also seek help professionally. I would avoid anyone dealing with these issues as who wants to play private shrink? no one..........

You either will put your past in the past and learn to move on or let it effect and destroy your future. Your respeonses don't even sound right to me. I'm sure anyone you meet who is emotionally healthy will pick up on this quickly even if you say nothing.
It is likely yout mental health problems that keep this womans suicide alive in your life and a central feature.

This will not serve you well in life.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Its been a long time and things still dont seem right.
Posted: 3/9/2013 2:43:31 AM
As I see it, you should not romance the relationship with her... she cheated on you and dumped you and moved on... she did not care for you as much as you hoped. Focus on that reality and stop thinking so much of her and the time you spent together. It was not all that. You need to stop idealizing her and the relationship you had, which will make you much more open to finding the right person.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Unceremoniously dumped after 3 years.
Posted: 3/9/2013 2:35:41 AM
years spent together ? as in online?
You need to upgrade to actual dating and forget the LDR thing.

I did a LDR ONCE and found it was a huge waste of time. Maybe you should avoid getting too wrapped up with someone you hardly see and only know through the internet and phone ?

Stop expecting things and start communicating with someone you see in person... that's the way to go, not fantasy world of LDR. You put far too much into something not real. If you want a better result with your time, stop LDR and find someone who you see often and spend time with.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/8/2013 11:31:32 AM
msg1...
she is not into you.... !

You could call her and ask her out, and she may go if there is nothing else going on, but far as your dating her...
she is really not interested. If you start to bribe her with expensive dinners and gifts, she may go with you, but that does not mean she will want anything to do with you after she eats or gets her gifts.

I don't think you really care she has no job, no place of her own. and that's fine, maybe you can let her move in woth you so you can be near her since your so sweet on her, but chances are she will just leave when someone better comes along, someone she is attracted to and feels chemistry with... you are not it for her

you just want her based on her looks... your very shallow
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Short changeing myself
Posted: 3/8/2013 11:18:33 AM
demanding ex wife and 3 small kids.......... run away, run far, fast and don't look back... he is not dating material much less relationship material
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Guy says I am perfect for him....but....
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:29:23 PM
msg 1...
you should have slowed things down.. because what burns that hot, that fast is going to crash quickly.

so now you learned the hard way.

Don't ever let a guy do that and wind you up... its your job and obligation to slow him down !!!!
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Single Parents
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:26:32 PM
If meeting someone is so hard, don't focus on it. Maybe its not time. Instead work with your kids
so they can excel in school... teach and nurture them a lot .. so in years to come you can have well adjusted kids.

Boo hoo your life isn't perfect or how you would ideally like things to be.. ADJUST and work
within the situation at hand !
When the time is right you will meet someone. Why bother now if it's a battle? Most women are not interested in single dads... so use your time well right now.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why do women feel the need to list on their profile that their children come first?
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:51:20 AM
"kids come first" to me is a sign of some dysfunctional situation, more so as I see some men and women
who write this and the kids are teens or sometimes even young adults. They use the kids as weapons
to do and get their way... it is a dysfunctional situation and they are warning you they are not right in the head !!!

If it bothers you just avoid these people !!!!
How easy is that ? pretty darn easy.. !!!............. choose who you click with, keep meeting people
until you do.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Asking bold questions, after exchanging numbers....
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:44:50 AM
Your profile is basically blank...

your communication must be as blank or you would not get such direct questions... and requests as it
seems some women are TRYING to get to know you and you must be standing in the way with your attitude or
communication.
It could be too you set the tone for these kind of questions with talk that is not appropriate for the situation.
Post a full length picture without a jacket taken from 5 feet up so women can see what you look like, smile, lose the hat.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:40:35 AM
I had breast cancer... and recon.. full of scars. My shape is not bad but I am full of scars. Try not to get naked in
direct sunlight is all I can tell you... lose weight if your overweight... stay away from men who are hyper critical and expect a woman to look like a magazine cover, and find ones who are more mature emotionally. Granted this is hard to find a mature man, but they are out there... keep dumping them until the right one shows up.
Good luck.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
What am I doing wrong?
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:36:31 AM
cupid "boy" ?
You lost me at that, quick glance at your profile, all so vauge............ I can see why there is little interest
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
what someone is looking for
Posted: 2/26/2013 7:50:27 AM
You need to ask everyone you meet exactly what they are looking for and not assume anything.. period !!!
and there is also the subject :
if they seek what they seek with YOU !

communication is key.. online dating is no place to assume anything, no matter how smart you think you are.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Fuzzy Pics?
Posted: 2/21/2013 5:27:33 AM
Take it from me: fuzzy pics are a red flag... when you meet that person they will look nothing like
any picture they have posted.
You bring up weight..................... these are 2 different topics as weight has nothing to do with fuzzy pics...
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Tactics for addressing issues in relationships
Posted: 2/16/2013 5:32:46 AM
you treat your friends the same way you would like to be treated... if your walking on eggshells
your in the wrong relationship. If your voice is drowned out, your in the wrong relationship.

If you speak to your partner do so in a mature yet direct way. If you want to know how the partner has
"perceived" a situation or your actions, you ask for their opinion.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
I am nervous
Posted: 2/14/2013 5:18:45 AM
Betting all the past confidence you claimed to have was all fake confidence...
the situations in your life have forced you to see that and now you feel like you have none, because in reality all previous confidence was fake.

You need to build real confidence.. the kind that does not shatter when there is more responsibility in life or
a blow to the ego. Start at square one with an honest assessment, you may need to ask close friends to help as many people cannot see themselves clearly or living in a dysfunctional / unrealistic world so long they are a bit disillusioned as to what and who they are.

The old you needs to go... it tumbled and died with life events, so it wasn't real... you need to build something in yourself that is real and can withstand REAL life and its events. good luck
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Worried about my lack of relationship experience
Posted: 2/10/2013 1:29:33 PM
I would be wondering with a man over 30 and no relationship experience, as to how close he is to his mother and if the umbilical cord was ever cut...
I would be asking a lot of questions as to the relationship with momma. For me, red flags would be zipping up.
mental health, etc... not to be rude, just being honest.. would be something of dire
issue for me as to how this can be. I would be very leary of the situation.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Dating... a game for the ruthless?
Posted: 2/10/2013 1:27:09 PM
Guess it can seem ruthless to those who are seeking someone out of their league.........
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Am I just a sucker???
Posted: 2/9/2013 10:35:08 AM
You are out of your mind OP if you think this guy is a keeper.

Get some counseling as to why you are trying to make something with him.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
He told me how much he likes me, but now hasn't contacted me?
Posted: 2/9/2013 10:27:53 AM
It's very likely he doesn't want to put much into communicating since he never met you in person, and you live across the country... there might also be some concerns he has your looking for a place to live. Your expecting too much from him I think. After you move, call him and set up a place and time to meet. D a meet and greet and see if there is mutual interest... until then. Your just wasting your time and his too.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Early retirement??
Posted: 2/9/2013 10:19:55 AM
Did anyone mention those who aquire a large estate per inheiritance? yeah well that can happen too,,
as well as a large settlement in a lawsuit. They are actually retired. No longer need to work.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is A single dad whose child lives with him a problem ?
Posted: 2/8/2013 5:15:14 AM
msg 1... if you have children its not going to be a problem for most women if you have
housekeeping and child care YOU provide for your kids. No woman wants to take on all that...
the work, the energy to help you raise your kids UNLESS there is something there to make it worth her time.The better your home staff is, the help, the cleaning people, the nanny... the more appealing you will be to women
since you have kids.
Otherwise men with kids who live with them just look like needy projects/ charity work.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What do you wish for your ex?
Posted: 2/7/2013 5:30:28 PM
I wish him anything that prevents him from ever seeking anything with me.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Dating Younger Women: Maybe It's Not A Great Idea
Posted: 2/7/2013 5:28:59 PM
Your generalizing, maybe hoping to appeal to older women?

Let me set you straight............ someones emotional maturity has nothing to do with age.

If your looking for a homebody there are plenty of teens that fit that descriptions... and plenty of party goer 50 year olds. Your logic is flawed, except maybe to you.
As an older woman I find your opening post disturbing on many levels.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
what are you looking for ?
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:32:43 PM
so does every other woman in the world... good luck
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Overcoming Passive-Aggressive nature
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:27:28 PM
yes I did.... you like to be chased, want the attention, not the dates or the man...
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Overcoming Passive-Aggressive nature
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:18:18 PM
you are not describing passive aggressive, just passive.

sounds ike its all about the chase for you. Stop dating more than one date or go get some counseling.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Can getting back together work and last?
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:12:46 PM
From what you say in msg 1... my money is on :
he is only gonna use you for sex.. he is otherwise done on every other level with you.
I know I would be !!!
Trust has been broken, time to move on but then again you don't know how or you would, you would
also be able to act more mature/ your age if you could

so...

You need counseling, not dating or your just gonna keep doing this over and over and over again,
maybe for life.
Fix things with you, not him, its you with the problem !!!
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Trying to figure this out! Help appreciated!
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:06:39 PM
You both are bad at communication. I suggest you learn some skills and stop trying to mind read.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
what kind of income level your financial/social status alone is able to attract ordinary girls.
Posted: 2/3/2013 6:01:09 AM
There is no amount of income that will attract ordinary girls.. if she is not attracted to you. MBA or not.

Your problem is you don't seem to realize that as a truth and put your income up as the hook...
so hows that working for ya?
LOL
 
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