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 Author Thread: Why do some women do this? Did I do anything wrong?
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 20 (view)
Why do some women do this? Did I do anything wrong?
Posted: 2/15/2019 5:58:11 PM
The simple answer to why you attract women that "shit on you" is because you let them. I don't connect with people easily either (if I was a dude I would probably be like you TBH) so I get that when you finally meet someone you like you can start to romanticize the situation because it's so rare. I have done with before with a few guys that didn't want anything serious because they were hung up over their exes. The issue with romanticizing someone is that it's often one sided and you can't control what is going on in their life or what they want no matter how great you think you'd be together. She was just out of a relationship, confused and wanting to vent. It also sounds like she has an issue with relationships in general. The inability to get over an ex is often because we've attached our ego to that relationship/person. Her ex saying he wants her back is feeding her ego which is why she doesn't just tell him to take a hike. This is something she needs to work on and figure out for herself and not something you should get in the middle of, even as a friend.

From what you've said I get the feeling you listen to people's problems even when you don't want to. You probably accept treatment that you know isn't right. But you aren't doing yourself any good. Your life is yours and it's ok to tell a person "Look I'm sorry you are going through this but I am not here to be your therapist. I am looking for X and if you aren't then I'm sorry but I can't give you my time".
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
Mutual match mess up
Posted: 2/2/2019 9:05:31 PM
I keep getting "mutual matches" for people I've never even seen. What's THIS about?
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
Some poems
Posted: 2/1/2019 4:47:36 PM
So here I am. Here are some poems. Some are fairly old.

The Song That No One Hears

I was walking down the street
And everyone that I saw
Passed me with their eyes so cold
And a stiffness in their jaw

My mind was crowded as I stood
On the corner waiting for the light
For nothing seemed quite decent
And nothing seemed quite right

And then there sat an old man
A face withered by years and tears
But with such a knowing look
He asked if I knew the song
That no one ever hears

Standing there hovering
I asked "Old man, what is that you speak?
My day has been weary
And the future seems quite bleak
How could there be this song
That no one ever hears
For a song isn't a song
If you cannot listen with your ears!"

Then the old man stood
Arising from the ground
And there he was
Looking upon me and he frowned

And again he spoke
His words grabbed me and took a hold
"My dear"' he said
"You do think you are rather bold
Though listen here and you will see
Through all your pain and turmoil
Becomes the person you will be"

And he spoke to me of this song
His words filled my eyes with tears
And I saw that too often my ways
Were too weak to fight my fears

He told me you needed strength
In your heart and soul
For your mind to enhance
Though to not be afraid
To take a fragile stance

He told me the choices we make
No matter where they may lead
Are to teach us where we shall be
Not to help us fail or succeed

For the failure and success that lay
Tangled up in the crowded mind
Were filled with fabled promises
That were often not the heart’s kind

For a while more I listened to him speak
And for those moments I forgot
I forgot about deadlines and grief
I allowed my mind to relax
And my body eased with relief

And yesterday my heart was broken
But today my heart is strong
And I’ll travel on down life's road
Remembering the words of this song
But still I own a fragment
Of every single hurt
A souvenir I keep within me
That I will carry to the dirt.


Dreaming of Him

I will dream of him
His eyes, his voice
His hair and skin
The one in which I will rejoice
No longer will I ponder
He’ll be my only choice

He will fight away every fear
Yes how remarkable he’ll be
And as reality comes near
No longer will dreams appease
I will ream joy
And bathe in glee

Then as the veil thins
It will lift from my eyes
And gone as swiftly as it begins
The reality will not be as it seems
And I will then resent him
For stealing my dreams…

You'll Be Ok

I see you falling and I reach out a hand
But you don’t need me so you let go
You’ve already make yourself a soft place to land
You’ll be ok… you say

So I’ll stay up here and watch you drift away
And as you leave my sight I know
You’ll forget about me in in a day
You’ll be ok… you say

Because you don’t need me
You’ve made that much clear
For all that remain to see
For I can’t let you down
If you’re the one jumping
You’ve already hit the ground

I’m too sensitive you say
Well I guess I’m made of glass and you’re made of stone
I’ll shatter into a million pieces
But nobody can break you

And if you ever curse my name
For letting you fall
Remember I am not the one to blame
Remember you said…
You would be ok
I know I am anyway



Who are we, and what have we become?
Are we nothing but shadows, casting figures all around?
Are our souls as blank as the shadow people, stretched out upon the ground?

If we recognized ourselves, would we be ourselves?
Or would we hate ourselves?
Could we love ourselves, if we knew ourselves?

What have we led this world to, and where is it going next?
Are we leading it to hope or to despair?
Are we even aware?
Or are we fully conditioned
To blur fact from fiction?


Pay Your Commission

She tried to be decent
And she tried to be good
Tried to say the right words
And did all she could

Took that wastebasket out of the corner of her soul
Threw away her troubles and her fears
But they always found her down the road
As she was constantly shifting gears
Found the coincidence was coincidental
So she left her fate up to chance
And put her faith in the hands
Of one lesser for the meaning

And every day she sees the pouring rain
Seep through the cracks in her window
This world, they said,
Isn’t a place for a girl without ambition
If you want to survive here
You’ve got to pay your commission

So she’s trying to walk a straight line
On this line of broken glass
And the blood on the floor
Bleeds into the past
And every step she takes
Leads her closer to defeat
In the space between then and now
Where her tragedy did meet


The First Seed

(Kind of a rough draft. This one doesn't rhyme).

You planted the first seed
Somewhere along the line
Between the stages of joy, bitterness, and contempt

Maybe it was that joke
You know the one where afterwards you told me I was too sensitive?
I felt like a fool
“Yes you’re right. I overreacted. I won’t do that again”

Or maybe it was that first criticism
Of the fact that I took 5 minutes to respond
Or that first accusation
Although you would always tell me
“I trust you. It’s not you. It’s them…”

Maybe it was the friends you tried to make me lose
And the time you stole
Demanding more and more and it never being good enough
Maybe it was when you told me I wasn’t good enough
But I was lucky because you loved me anyway
You did so much for me and I could never do enough

But I can sit here and wonder when that first seed was planted
Or I can pluck out this weed by its roots
And leave you behind
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 15 (view)
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 2/1/2019 1:32:08 PM
Ok cool. Will do!
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 13 (view)
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 2/1/2019 1:18:36 PM
Thanks sweetie! Maybe I will post in the poetry forum. We'll see.

Yeah people do make assumptions don't they? :)

Not sure what you mean by credit where it doesn't apply. What exactly are you referring to?

Generally when people contact me it's because they like my writeup and have something to say about it. People who get my sense of humour. I mean I still get the odd weird one (i.e a guy that asked if I wanted to be a part of a threesome with him and his wife lol and another that was looking to cheat on his wife!) but when you have photos you get far more of those. It's just the weeding that goes on you know?

If I'm seeking a guy who is a good person and I find that then I need to be careful? Well yeah we should all keep one eye open at all times I suppose. I've never been one for blind faith myself.
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 11 (view)
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 2/1/2019 1:50:05 AM
Ladyinred0407 -

I wouldn't be "embarrassed" if someone recognized me. I said that about my friends. Some of them like to tease and yeah I guess that's just how it is and I need to deal and suck it up. Oh and I've got a few 'brother' types and I supposedly need to screen any new boyfriends through them lmao. I'm nervous about strangers recognizing me IRL. It's just that 'thing' you know? Or not haha. Just my nerves.

What if too many people gather on your lawn? What if they form a tent city? What then?!

No he doesn't have to have photos (otherwise I would have stated that in my mail settings) and guess about me lol. Also it states on my profile that I have private photos. I do share them.

Maybe I will put them up for a bit. I am just getting my toe in the water it's a bit icy haha. Gotta get used to it.
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 10 (view)
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 10:29:35 PM
fullmoonguy2- I state that I'm open to meeting someone if it works. I'm not a 'dater'. I'm not the type of person who goes around meeting people and going out on dates all the time. Some people I know love that. I don't. Most people don't interest me that much in order to exert the amount of outward energy it takes to be a serial dater like what seems to be commonplace nowadays. I just would like to meet someone who gets the cut of my jib. Who can vibe with me. Ya know?

There. I changed the wording to say I'm not taking this site SUPER seriously. It's just not me to put high expectations on something like this. After all expectations are often just planned resentments... aren't they not? Rhetorical question.

Maybe I'm not the 'typical' online dater lmao but there doesn't seem to be a ton of options these days. Not for an introvert. I did have photos up before. There's may be more responses with having photos but there is also way more BS you have to deal with.

And yeah there is the possibly of hacking.
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 9 (view)
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 9:40:56 PM
Clytemnestra - Because they would make fun of me haha. One of them I know is on here and he would tease me to high hell.
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 5 (view)
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 2:28:30 PM
I also have some friends on here and I don't need the embarrassment that would ensue.
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 4 (view)
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 1:41:13 PM
I know that's the 'assumption'. Not true in my case however. I just don't feel comfortable being recognized by random people that I might encounter out in public.
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 2 (view)
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 1:56:40 AM
*interested. Not interesting. Please excuse my lack of proof reading!
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
To photo or not to photo...
Posted: 1/31/2019 1:55:28 AM
First of all I'm not here for a 'profile review'. I KNOW my profile is not everyone's cup of tea and that is kind of the point. Generally I connect 100 times better with people who read and understand the vibe of my words...and my sense of humour. I am not interesting in having a lot of messages and while I have contacted some guys (I'm an introvert so yeah.. I'm not one to put myself out there. But at least I'm not a guy right?! *nervous laugher* *backs away slowly* Don't hurt me!) my not having a photo makes things really slow on here. I mean like one message every 3-4 months. I haven't been that active on this site (I'm not on any other sites) or with dating in general for some time but now I'm feeling like maybe putting my toe in the water and meeting people (as long as it's not too exhausting. I've never been a 'dater'. Don't have the energy). I don't know how to do it in person so here I am I guess. Anyway I have some anxiety about putting up a photo because the mere idea of someone recognizing me IRL just makes my stomach churn. I don't know why. It just does. I also didn't like the responses I got the last time I had photos. I mean it was funny to troll people and be like "So did you see on my profile that I like scuba diving?" "Oh yeah totally. That's so cool!" '**** please.... I've never been".

But anyhow…. Should I just bite the bullet?
Joined: 5/14/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
Reset password email I didn't request...
Posted: 8/6/2018 3:34:47 PM
Has anyone ever gotten an email to reset their password when they didn't request it? I haven't been on here in over a month and I got one today. Is this a glitch? Thanks.
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