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 Author Thread: Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 8/2/2018 8:45:37 PM
There are a lot of things you can be missing. To find out just requires the following things...

1. Stop judging someone.
2. Stop seeing the world through your views.
3. Be accepting of someone else's life.
4. Be willing to listen and hear the person.
5. Don't look at someone's life simply as right or wrong.
6. Realize that we all change through out our time on this planet.
7. Realize that he is not the only one who was in the relationship.
8. And lastly, whatever his situation is/was does not make your relationship experience any better because unless you are a widow, there is a reason why you are single at your age and looking for a relationship.
 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 146 (view)
 
Getting blocked by someone for no apparent reason
Posted: 8/2/2018 8:39:38 PM
True. I give got blocked a few times because I said something that someone did not like. And while it was not rude or mean, I in my heart said it anyway because I just don't have time to put up with people's feelings. I have a bad habit of removing my emotions from a lot of my thoughts and opinions, so I come off rude, arrogant, and/or mean.
 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 145 (view)
 
Getting blocked by someone for no apparent reason
Posted: 8/2/2018 8:36:45 PM
Sometimes you just have to think that the problem is them than you. Especially if you have been polite, logical, rational, and non-combative. Some people just can stand others who don't see things their way, respond they want them to, or hold the same ideals they do.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
looking to spice it up but need advise first
Posted: 2/9/2007 9:12:11 PM
I was told something by a PoFer that distrubed me. As most of you who have read my posts in various threads on the subject of premarrital sex know that I am TOTALLY against it and gave what I believe is compelling reasons why. I thought of what this person said...Basically he believes from what others have told him that "sex in a marriage becomes routine." And that disturbed me because, I know he is speaking the fears and truths of normal trends in human relationships. And if this is one of the main fears of why so many are willing to have sex out of wedlock, maybe I could offer some advice of what people could do to keep sizzling sex in their marriage as long as they can. Here are a few suggestions...

1. Create a sexual back-up plan/add adventure to your sex life. If sex has become borning, try having a role playing session once in a while. Rent some costumes and play a role. Or when your fishing for a new vacation shot, look into some sex resorts or sexual/spiritual enlightenment retreats (I personally can't wait to get married, I want to learn the tantric arts with my wife).
2. Make a meal consisting of nothing but aphrodisiacs. I have this awesome book called "Inter Courses." It is basically a small cookbook for aphrodisiacs and it provides something for each phase of a meal (main course, drinks, and desserts).
3. While you probably have heard this before, try setting up a complete erotic/romantic/sensual encounter. I had this complete scenerio drawn out for my current ex. It started with her coming home finding notes and flowers that would lead her to an exquisite bath with flowers floating on top of a warm bubble bath. And all she had to do is lay back, drink her favorite drink, and enjoy my bathing her from head to toe, and ending the even with a full body massage.
4. Build a sex tool kit. I have started on mine (Hey! Just because I am abstant does not mean I can't be prepared or shouldn't keep my sexual imagination locked up). I have some dice games, a few electronic games you can play on the computer, a few cards, and some ideas for special day cosumes.
5. Have alternating nights of who receive dominion over the sexual encounter and the partner (within reason) have to honor that request. This is a great way to introduce your own kinks into the bedroom, and it enforces compromise.
6. Read erotic bedtime stories to each other and see if you can enact them.
7. Have a night of no intercourse at all, but still engage in other intimate acts. Holding, cuddleing, kissing, or whatever it is. This is a great time to rebond through communication, WITHOUT having to do the deed.
8. Try sexual fasting. Let your resistance and frustration build. It not only teaches self control, but it also sparks the reason why you desire your spouse so much.
9. Invest in some how-to books and videos, this is not saying that you don't know anything, but who knows, maybe something new could be learned from what you already do. There are lines of very helpful and tastefully done sex videos that could help with opening new ideas or the loosening of sexual hang-ups.
10. Seek counseling. Sometimes it does take an outside viewer to help you pinpoint the difficulties in a sexual relationship, however, it will only work if you are willing to listen and obey the professional's recommendations.

PoFers, anyone who has a successful marriage can tell you, sex does not have to become routine. Romance does not have to go out the window. And if you really want to know the secret of resparking the sizzle in sex...DO WHAT YOU DID TO FIRST ATTRACT THAT PERSON TO YOU. If it was a rose once a week. Get her/him a rose once a week. If it was going out once in a while to dance. Go out once in a while and dance. Love, romance, and sex does not have to become routine, it is we who make it so.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Suggestion to the administration.....
Posted: 2/9/2007 4:49:25 PM
I really think there should be a reconsideration or secondary system to the communal voting rights. I being a rational person know that every topic and thread is not for me. So, I might peek at the thread's detailed topic and I may or may not answer, and if I am asked to vote, I vote to keep it because, what is not necessarily important to me, may be important and worth it to the poster and those who may answer it. But, with people being allowed to vote, and I can personally say a lot more of my posts have been voted trolling, or attention seeking when it isn't or maybe because it was something I had on my chest and really wanted to share with understanding people.

If I may ask, do you offer a poster rights to have a deleted post screened if it has been voted off? Maybe it may not be getting voted off for its contents but for the person doing the posting. While I am not going to say this is the case with me, but I do have to say, a lot of my comments and suggestions does not sit right with the majority of the community at times. I don't always agree with what is said and I offer questions that challenges a person to think beyond themselves and their ways. And I can understand that doesn't sit right with a lot of people. However, it is just strange that I could write all the negative things I think or feel and get no votes off, but yet I write something postive and helpful, it gets voted off.

If there isn't a second option from someone in authority at this time...Is this something you may think about implimenting for those of us who maybe be getting our threads deleted unfairly?


At the top of this forum:

click here --> FREQUENTLY DISCUSSED QUESTIONS - PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU POST

In the above thread, you'll also find the following thread:

Click there --> FAQ - About the Delete Thread Voting Box or Autodelete rule

Prior to posting, ensure you adhere to the subject matter of the original post
See --> Forum Posting Guidelines **Read this BEFORE posting**

Moderator

 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 242 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/9/2007 3:51:10 PM
My mother is a perfect example of a person who has NEVER gotten a car or licence. She has never had a reason for one. She got around the best she could until she moved to NYC. And since there is mass transit, she does not need a car or is she does, she gets a cab. One of the things is that no one ever took the time out to teach her and now that she is older, she isn't really to eagar to get one.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 238 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/9/2007 3:27:11 PM
Tex...First and foremost this is not a blame game but one that you obviously stated, YOU allowed him to use you. Let me put it like this, if I have a car and my girl does not have a car and she needs a ride to work, I would be like how did you get to work before you met me? You chose to let him use your car...No matter how my I love an SO, unless she is my wife, she either is going to find an alternative means to get where she wants to go or she is going to stay her butt home. But, she is not going to get the keys to my car. The only way I MIGHT rethink that is if SHE IS putting gas in the car and is putting in for maintanence of the car. And God forbid something happens to my car in her care, SHE will be paying for it. Now if she has a problem with me telling to get her own car. And she wants to argue and dump me because of it...I will not push the next woman without a car or risk the chance of me missing my happiness because of the woman before her.

In short, it was not his lack of a car or your willingness to share your car with him that lead to the break up. It was HIS in ability to be a man and his obviously poor personality...Which is NOT linked to him having or not having a car.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Match.com are irresponsible
Posted: 2/9/2007 3:08:28 PM
OP: Majority of the paysites are like that. They have these bots or pay people to email you to get you lured in, only to your surprise that you have to pay to reply and more than likely, who you are replying to isn't real, will ever reply to you back, or is a foreigner trying to run a scam on you. So everyone need to be aware of this and maybe we should all write a letter to the various newsgroups and get these people exposed.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
OK guys,,, what the heck!?!?!
Posted: 2/9/2007 2:39:46 PM
I know I probably am going to get a "no" from you ladies and gents, but I still have to ask...Has anything or is it possible for anything to happen in your life (bar you personally from getting hurt) that could make you be unable to call a person or meet with a person when you had your heart set on it? Is there anytime in your life when it is more important for you to take care of personal situations and let that person know you won't be available for a time and that you would love to pick-up once the situation has ended?

Perfect example, a soldier who has to deploy overseas (at least in the Marine Corps, and depending on your MOS and were your stationed) you WILL at least two six month tours overseas in a four year period. You WILL have to pull some weekend duties. Or be restricted to base for some reason. Sometimes you get called out into the field or to replace someone at the last moment and may be unable to call the person you want.

While I agree these ladies and gentlemen do give some good advice, in this situation, there is no absolute until you find out for yourself.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
OK guys,,, what the heck!?!?!
Posted: 2/9/2007 2:20:02 PM
Well, Sunnygirl, the days of guys chasing women are slowly coming to an end. That is just my personal point of view. Just like if you keep a catch on the hook too long in the water, it might break free or another fish might come by and snatch it. Being shy and wry is one thing, but expecting someone to wait because of it, I have learned from experience that you either take the chance or risk losing it. Or he might just have be having a string of busy nights. The only way to make sure is for YOU to call him. If you want him girl, go after him.

And I don't totally agree with the others. I like to allow the person to answer before I start accusing them of something. From my own life I know I have wanted to call but, things out of the blue just to seem to happen at once. Or I get so wrapped up with other things of more importance (and yes ladies this might be a blow to your egos, but sometimes there are other things that take precedence above you and it DOES NOT mean we are not interested or into you).
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 94 (view)
 
are all the guys on here looking for sex?
Posted: 2/9/2007 2:12:45 PM
Most of us here are looking for a sexual relationship, rather it be for a one nightstand to that person holding out until marriage. And to inform you Branlynn, professional studies have shown that woman are thinking about sex just as much as men. Rather or not you are vocal about your sexual needs and wants has nothing to do with decency on the part of the speaker/pursuer, but in the mind of the person receiving that message.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Should you do something for your partner you don't enjoy?
Posted: 2/9/2007 2:08:22 PM
Yes this is what is called compromise and selflessness. It is great in a strong relationship.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
NEW....Success Stories on POF
Posted: 2/9/2007 2:05:25 PM
I think I have successfully turned every potiential woman off or scared them away.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 234 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/9/2007 12:48:35 PM
Does he or she need an excuse if they just DON'T want one? Some people just DON'T want the hassles of a car and I can understand them on that. Just like you just DON'T want someone without a car I can understand that. And in the end, it does not matter if you turn them down or accept them. It does not matter if you are in their life or not. It is neither of one of your's lost or gain. Because, guess what, someone will love either one of you none the less. And there is no professional solid study that saids a person is any better off or worst of with or without the materialistic things we figure are important to use because, there is someone who will still love us for who we are and inspite of who we are. And that is the true beauty of love.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 233 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/9/2007 12:44:07 PM
Does he or she need an excuse if they just DON'T want one? But, to be honest, why worry. They are happy and still can find dates. We are not the maker or breaker of their lives and they are not the maker or breaker of ours. So, yeah. If a car is one of the things that makes you happy in a relationship...Go for it. It is not stopping from finding happiness or that person you refuse to date, because they are just as happy with or without you.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Do women and men fall in love at a different pace?
Posted: 2/9/2007 12:31:53 PM
I disagree. Sometimes love takes time to spark. Like in the case of friends becoming lovers. One day the are sitting around joking and laugh, and the next thing they realize is that this is the one. I found my heart and he or she was here all along. And I don't think the pace is as much of an male-female mail thing vice a individual thing.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 547 (view)
 
Mail order brides
Posted: 2/9/2007 11:17:05 AM
I don't think so FF...I think it was for the same reasons why God allows his priests and high priests to be married...For one, there is a corrilation between human relationship in a marriage and His convent with us. To add humility, understanding, and compromise with the higher up's dealings with their subordinates. For example, being as a single Marine, it was usually much harder for me to understand why I couldn't keep my men working for long periods of time without some affectionate time with their lovers and wives. But, once I had someone in my life, I was then eager to get off work, changed over into civilian attire. Plus, being in an intimate relationship REALLY does have a calming affect on people as a whole, if the relationship is right in the first place.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
do you talk with people who dont have a picture
Posted: 2/9/2007 10:30:16 AM
Before we had the capabilities we have now (which has probably not been more than 10 years ago) we were not able to send pictures, let alone post pictures on most sites. So, you had a greater risk of finding out that Mr. Ms. Hotness you were talking to online, kind of over exassurated (if not all out lied) or what your vision was of that person and the actuality were totally different. Now with today's advancement, there should be no reason why you shouldn't have a picture accessible for someone who asks (if you are interested in them anyway). It does not necessarily have to be presented in your profile, but still some place where you two can exchange. Why I say that? For those of us with a good memory, do you remember "Friday", and when the girl on the other end of the phone told Smokey (Chris Rock) that her friends say she look like Janet Jackson? Well Smokey and "Janet" made a meeting time and place and when she arrived, she looked anything BUT like Janet Jackson. And while she was beautiful and sweet, she just wasn't Smokey's physical type.

In short, I have no problem talking to a woman who has a picture or not, I have talked and cybered with many who have had no picture, one of them was even in her 60's (not saying that I am looking for a woman in over 40 (with 45 being my max)). To me I make that distinguish between what is just chat and what is intimacy.

Lastly, one thing I have figured out...Sometimes those who don't post pictures are actually testing you to see if you could accept them for who they are before you see them. While it is a good test and in some cases is very successful. However, there is a the other edge of the sword they forget about...Sexual attraction is based as much on the internal person as it is on the outside.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Have Dating Sites Raised the Level of Paranoia?
Posted: 2/9/2007 10:04:45 AM
Human conditions don't really shock me any more. Its more like disappointing. Sometimes it seems that our anscestors seemed to have had more together than we do today. We'd like to think their methods were wrong and backwater, but you know what, by all statistics, all the things that are now social problems or being topics wasn't so. Our techological capabilities, sciences, psychology has advanced beyond belief, but at what price? It seems more and more people are morally and ethically corrupt and we are making laws to accept this.

The thing that scares me the most about letting someone in is that I AM OLD FASHIONED, why? To me it worked the best in preven some of the mess that men and women complain about in relationships today. Very few men and women are willing to love someone from the ground up. My mother would tell how my grandmother and grandfather is what I what I am looking for someone. My grandmother and grandfather had nothing and worked their way up to owning a little mom and pop store when my mother was a little girl. My first gunnery sergeant told me about his marriage. How his wife married him while he was a private. He vowed that if she could work with him, that they will have the house and family they wanted. He told me how for a while the only thing they would eat most of the time was a little bit of meat, but a lot of beans and rice. Sweets were homemade. And from there, they saved up the money to buy the home they wanted. But today, we expect people to have their own homes and cars and other stuff.

I feel like I am out of place here. And that has made me question if there are really women out there who really do know what love is about and who can love a man for who he is and despite of who he is. And just women but humanity as a whole.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 230 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/8/2007 10:21:55 PM
I know I sound harsh and angry it is that why put your happiness on the fringes of a car. Especially if said car could breakdown or be totally destroyed tomorrow? Why base your love only on beauty that will more than likely fade when you get older? I can understand not wanting a man (or woman) who isn't doing anything for themselves, no one can fault you on that. But, people a person is not their possessions. Just because they have it all does not mean they are going to treat you like the world. And I am not saying that it is wrong to have that preference, but when you use it to be a determining factor in asking a man or woman out, then maybe something is wrong.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Have Dating Sites Raised the Level of Paranoia?
Posted: 2/8/2007 9:48:53 PM
No I didn't ask. But, sometimes the best advice in somethings comes from the unsolicited. Thank you J.C.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why do some guys send dirty jokes by e-mail?
Posted: 2/8/2007 8:03:10 PM
Is there anything that isn't a "red flag" to PoFers?
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
How do I handle a guy who is jealous?
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:50:12 PM
Theropy. There is something that he needs to confront that he is transferring. While it would be easy to just dump him and leave, it may just as easy to stay and help him and still have the love you two want and deserve. But, it is going to be up to you.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 203 (view)
 
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:44:11 PM
I have found out that I may still be single because I am too intense and that I may be scaring off people...To me that is a good thing. It keeps away those who do not fit into my category of datable. It shows lack of trust, fear of the unknown, and insecurity in who they are. And this is just my opinion. But, I can only be who I am, just like everyone is suppose to be. The only ones who rate my change are those who actually invest in me.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Is dating outside of your race TABOO???
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:28:36 PM
Nothing else to do, but to shake your head, love them for the beings they are, and make sure you are not like them.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 228 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:23:18 PM
When we first started dating, my ex husband had no job, no car, no license. Notice he is now my EX..I was naive, stupid and in love.


Don't blame every man for what your ex did. It is not mine or any other man's fault that he decided not to make something of himself. I personal am someone and I never needed a car for that. It was my actions that made something of me.

1. I go to college, making that my main focus so that I CAN get that career I desire.
2. I have defended my country with ALL my mind, body, and spirit.
3. I have had 5 poems and 3 pictures published and serval of them have won a few awards.
4. I have helped repaint a school in Thailand.
5. I have been on the Dean's list twice since coming back to college and participate in their talent shows.
6. I have had command of my own section which is more often reserved for a Marine of higher rank.

And guess what...I did all these things without a car or licence. And when I DID have a car, I so much wanted to move back to the city so I did not need one. To me the money that went into that car was just about twice as much as it cost ($1500). With that experience and the experiences my family has with cars, I will only get one IF I really need one. Not because some it will attract more women.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Have Dating Sites Raised the Level of Paranoia?
Posted: 2/8/2007 7:06:34 PM
Trolling is not what I do. And intense is who I am. I believe in my convictions and I state them. And sometimes that intensity is needed when dealing with some people. I short, what ever is worth doing is worth doing to the utmost of your ability. This is what has help me to write some of my more memorable poetry, take my award winning pictures, and other feats of success that I have achieved.

Now, I still not up on this trolling thing. Or not selling yourself. I agree that there is a time and a place for everything and sometimes you should take the opportunity to promote yourself, just as long as it is true and fits in the topic you are talking about yourself in.

As far as scaring people off, I can only be me, I compromise and give in on somethings, but like I said, there are somethings I believe in and I won't let it go, just like I respect people who can do the same. If this scares people of, to me it is good for finding out who is true and who is false. Who is strong and who is weak. Who can love me the way I want and deserve to be loved and who wants to be loved the same way.

But believe me, I do have my fun in my own way. I many not be a clubber, but I enjoy so many other things in life. And I am light when I should be light, have fun when I feel I should have fun, and I am happy when I am happy, I can't be it because some commands me. It makes me lock up more.

As far as worrying about the many, I don't I can only ensure that I be the best man I can be I change the things I can, accept the things I can't, and seek to learn the difference between the two.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Dating men who have never been married
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:36:09 PM

I disagree. I don't think it's idiotic at all. Now, I wouldn't say someone would have to have been married by this point, but if they haven't had any sort of a long term commitment with someone (say common law or engaged or whatever), then YES it is a red flag. Specifically for some of the reasons you listed. "Work schedule" If someone has already spent this much of their life putting work before relationships, what is the chance that they will change? Not good. "Lack of dating opportunities" Ummm...maybe their standards are so high that no one can meet them, or maybe they find the dating pool undesirable. There are plenty of dating opportunities for people. What was stopping them from trying? Anyways, that's JMO.


Or maybe, there are too many women out there with TOO high of a list for a simple man to reach? Maybe such silly notions that I am not a suitible partner because I have placed where I live and how much I have ahead of who I am (I AM NOT MY MATERIALS, I AM MY MIND, HEART, AND SPIRIT). Maybe it is because I can happily get around even though I don't have a car. Or maybe, my strong opinions and challenge to the ways of this world is a threat to you. Or maybe, the same things that women complain that men perpetrate on them in thing they are perpetrating on me.

So before you judge a man's capability to love you based on his relationship track record look at yourself...What do you have to offer us to make us want to be with you long term? Or better yet? Should we judge you women who are divorced? Especially if you were only married for a few months or years? It is parent that something is wrong because you are divorced.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Have Dating Sites Raised the Level of Paranoia?
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:26:07 PM
I use to live in a nice blissful little world. Yes I knew there were some good and bad things and people out there in the dating world. But, I was willing to push that aside and try and get back into the swing of things. However, between what I have read and responded to in the forums and my level of success on dating sites (zero). I has kind of made me start to rethink about my readiness, well more like willingness to be back out there.

Has any you out there reentering or still in the dating world rethinking your willingness to take that plunge? Has some of the things you have read or experienced aggravated your already skeptisim or anxiety to dealing with the people, personalities, and activities that goes on in this fabuluous, yet frightening world of intimate human relations?
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 220 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:07:52 PM
Wow! Now we are downing and rejecting because of phobias...Hey guys, don't date a woman who can't kill a rat or roach. How utterly nonsensical are we here? So I guess I am not date worthy because I have a fear of flying? AND HOW HELL DOES A PHOBIA RELATE TO SELF-ESTEEM!?! I think people are just babbling here. I am still dumbfounded by this. GOD FORBID YOU SHOULD HAVE A FEAR. You definitely aren't worthy of dating...Oh! Wait! From my rememberance, WE ALL HAVE SOME FORM OF FEAR. And I can't believe you would make so light of someone who may REALLY do have reason for being afraid...For example, you ever been in a near head on collision because you feel asleep behind the wheel? And who is to know that a person's fear of driving is actually a fear of driving? And if you really think phobias are just that easy to get over...I would love to see how many of you would be have when confronted with your own fear. Yeah, the human race is taking a fast track to hell and it does not even see it.

And for those who had to suffer the all so dreaded job of picking up the one you love because he or she did not have a car...Was it their lack of a car that broke you up? Was it their materials that brought you to them in the first place? Just like looks, having a car does not mean the man or woman is a catch. Or does this concept pass over most of this world's people's heads? I sometimes would love to bring back our ancestors so they can see what a pathetic place this world has become.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 219 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:03:36 PM
Wow! Now we are downing and rejecting because of phobias...Hey guys, don't date a woman who can't kill a rat or roach. How utterly nonsensical are we here? So I guess I am not date worthy because I have a fear of flying? AND HOW HELL DOES A PHOBIA RELATE TO SELF-ESTEEM!?! I think people are just babbling here. I am still dumbfounded by this. GOD FORBID YOU SHOULD HAVE A FEAR. You definitely aren't worthy of dating...Oh! Wait! From my rememberance, WE ALL HAVE SOME FORM OF FEAR. And I can't believe you would make so light of someone who may REALLY do have reason for being afraid...For example, you ever been in a near head on collision because you feel asleep behind the wheel? And who is to know that a person's fear of driving is actually a fear of driving? And if you really think phobias are just that easy to get over...I would love to see how many of you would be have when confronted with your own fear. Yeah, the human race is taking a fast track to hell and it does not even see it.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
pre sexual agreements
Posted: 2/8/2007 4:46:09 PM
I read all this stuff about women have to do more of this, women are more than likely to have this. You know what? It is no one's fault or responsibility. It is a fact of life and nature. If I were a brain and could figure out how...I would gladly (and I am sure many men would too) take the burden of childbearing away from you. Why? SO WE CAN HEARING THE MOANING OF, OH! I AM FEMALE!!! Like the farmer said to the chicken...You knew the job was dangerous before you took it. I am personally sick and tired of hearing how it is not fair that men don't go through what we go through. But yet, you don't even think that we have just as many problems as you do.

You don't think we feel your pain? You don't think we care what you go through? You don't think we appreciate the fact that you are able and willing to bear us children? FOR GOD SAKES MOST OF US MEN ARE! I wish you would understand that. And yes women do have the edge in this world in a lot of things. And now they are fighting to be in places that were once considered a males domain. Am I sexist, far from it. Do I think women are less than our equals, no! But, you ladies don't know how powerful you are or you know how powerful you are and use it to get what you want.

You know what, in my heart of hearts, I really don't care if it is your body or not...If I am willing to pour my heart and soul into loving you and you happen to get pregnant, and you try to tell me you are going to abort it...I will find everything in the courts to try and fight you on this. You are talking about killing something that is as much a part of me as it of you. Do I care you would be inconvineced for nine months? Yes. And I would compensate you for those nine months. And then I will take me and my child and leave you. Ladies, we can understand that some of you don't want the responsibility of raising a child for some reason or another. Fine, but don't deny us the right to be a father because you don't want to be a mother...You man never know if that will be our only chance to have a child.

And a lot of you who reflected on how sad this world is...You are right. There is so much selfishness between the sexes and so few are even trying to change that. There are stupid men out there who fell that they can lay up with a woman, take the risk and leave. While leaving her with the responsibility. To you I say, I pray she finds you, take your behind to court and make you pay for your half of the responsibility you brought into this world! Women, you lay down with a man, knowing that contraception is not 100% and you get pregnant, think of it as the consequences for your actions. God has already given the prescription on when and who are suppose to have sex, but those who don't believe screw and now they are scrambling to figure out how to correct their actions.

People are dying every day because of their sexual choices and none are to wise to understand why. And this is why I would totally agree to a pre-sexual agreement. Something to protect myself and that woman. So, that way, God forbid I fail in my vow of celibecy, that we have something binding should something happen. We need it today to stop the abortions. To stop the men and women who kill each other or their children because they are did not expect to get prenant. It can be used to make those who Intionally infect others with an STD. These people should be held EXTREMELY responsible for their actions. In a the world of today, we need things like this now.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Is dating outside of your race TABOO???
Posted: 2/8/2007 4:16:57 PM
You know what I really do believe dating outside your race IS taboo. Not to meantion disgusting! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH LIVE STOCK!?! Or plush animals (and that is no lie...I actually had the unfortunate opportunity to watch a masked man have sex with a stuffed dog).

On a serious note. If I had my way, I would like to line everyone up who thought that the human race was made up of a bunch of different races, give them a dunce cap, sit them in a corner and have them look at various anatomy books. People their is is but one human species. Not subspecies, but ONE major species. Even the Bible never called people by the complexion of their skins, but by where they lived, or shared commonality, but never things like, black or white or this other species of humans.

Do you know what our greatest blessing over the animal kingdom? Other than the obvious...We are the only species that can mate with each other, no matter where we are from, and STILL have viable offspring. I mean try taking a tiger and a alley cat and interbreding them (yes they come from the same species, but they are very different genetically and physically). We are not the same. Unfortunately, too many blind people can see that. The sooner we understand this, then we can REALLY start to extinguish the lines that separate us.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
'Not Ready To Move On'?
Posted: 2/8/2007 4:05:45 PM
First she should find out EXACTLY what he needs. Is this something that she needs to say I will be there for you and help you through (because some people do get over a break-up better that way). Or is this something that she has to say, "I like you, but I can't wait around." But whatever it is, SHE has to be the one to talk to him. On another note...unless he is hurting her...LET THEM BE. ARE THEY NOT ADULTS? Yes, as you can see, I hate when people but into other people's businesses without request or unnecessarily.

For example, my friend was seeing a woman who was suppose to be getting a divorce from her ex. I didn't like it. I felt it was wrong. But, you know what, she was not doing anything terribly harmful to him and he was not doing anything harmful to her. And though I felt it was wrong, it was up to him and/or her to come to me and ask for my advice. And when he did, THEN I offered my opinion (NOT ORDERS OR YOU SHOULD OR GOT TO) and reminded him that in the end, he has to do what is right for himself. And you know what, even though he stayed with her and through the crap he went through with her, I never judged him or her, nor did I say I was right or wrong. I was just there to be that shoulder and ear he needed. THAT IS what friendship is about.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 738 (view)
 
So you want a second chance?
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:44:16 AM
To answer you question RJB888...Like the average person...I don't have a crystal ball. I did not foresee her friends advising her that because of the distance and difficulties we faced, that she would take their advice. I did not for see her telling me that she is still has feelings for me and that maybe we still might have a chance. I don't know if tomorrow I will get hit by a bus or win $1M. That is what is the splender and fear of life. The no absolutes. You found it painful for you to hang on to hope. I don't. I am able to let go and not look back when someone else is filling that space in my heart. Rememberance and hope does not equate to being held back. It is what you do to hold yourself back, like push aside other potiential partners or interferring in that person's life.

It takes a special level of spiritual enlightenment and growth to see things the way I see them. I am not saying I am superior, but that my ways and beliefs have helped me to see the world in various ways that others may not see. In the end, we each must choose for ourselves what is good or bad. Because sometimes that good advice that someone else is giving you does not work or may actually do more harm than good. And that is all I offer and that is all I take from you fine ladies and gentlemen, advice, in the end I make up my own my and live my own life. That is all I can do.

And again, that is why there are the exceptions to the rule, to show you hope and to make you rethink your decisions. Or to give you warning and let you know that it might be good now, but there are areas where you have the chance of a choice havng a bad outcome.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Why do some guys send dirty jokes by e-mail?
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:25:47 AM
The same reason why women send dating tips or home improvement ideas. Some people like them and want to hear them.

Being a gentlemen is not about what kind of jokes you email. It is about how you treat those around you. For example...If you don't like to receive dirty jokes, a gentleman would not send them to you.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Have you ever dated an English guy/gal?
Posted: 2/8/2007 5:16:52 AM
You know what? I have seen so many of you hot English women on here, I would love to date one of you. Plus you have that sexy snooty accent.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
pre sexual agreements
Posted: 2/8/2007 4:56:31 AM
If a mother can't a father shouldn't be either...It takes two to freak'n Tango and I wish the people in power would stop just giving the woman the power to have control over her body when it comes to shared DNA. I am serious. If she can choose to abort or keep it at anytime without the man's decision, then if he has take the legal steps to prove he doesn't want to have anything with the baby SHE carried for 9 months. Oh well, too bad so sad, keep you damn legs closed.

I think a man and woman should have pre-sexual agreements. In order to even out the balance of power. Don't get me wrong ladies, I as a man appreciate your ability to carry a child within you for 9 months. All the physical, psychological, and emotional changes you go through for birth, but now were under God's green Earth did he say who had rights over the fetus. That is because it took the two of you. He has a stake in that. The moment you opened your body to him, you two became one flesh and one spirit and one mind. In short, you were married for that moment and that should bear all consequences (good or bad) that comes with that oneness.

Men when you lay down with a woman...You have made a commitment to her, you have freely chosen to bear your consequences for that union. And it is a crying shame that so many of you boys calling yourselves men would just run out on YOUR responsibility like that. To be honest, if the government was wise, they would cut all the social program the have for people and offer a new one. If you can't afford a child and you are selfishly out there producing them, YOU should bear the blunt of those cost or you give your child to a capable person who could. Maybe that will get you men and women to think more wisely about what you are doing. Why are we the people who are behaving wisely paying for YOUR responsibility?

I understand the are some exceptions to the rule and maybe with a reformed documentation, maybe they should be afforded some assistance. I mean a sudden death or abandonment by a SPOUSE (not common law spouse, SO, or one nightstand). I those are the ones who we should (even the Bible states this) take care of. Basically in tradition it was the elderly, widowed, orphans, and homeless/emparvished that money and materials and food was set aside for. Not those who were too lazy to go out there and get a job or those who would lay up with a man or woman to get her pregnant just to get more money.

But yes, I say a contract should be signed stating the what if's and that's in any sexual relationship. That way both know what they are getting and so they will think twice before they do it. Breach of contract is fineable. As a matter of fact, I just thought of an old story from my days as a Marine. A foreign woman and an American man got married and (don't ask me if it was really in a clause or if it were a verbal agreement) had an agreement to no anal sex of any kind. Well the man deliberately broke that and not only did that disolve the marriage, but it also cost him a big hunk of change. A sexual contract, yes. If you guys and gals aren't willing to wait for marriage, what other way to make you REALLY think about sex in a relationship before you do it?

Oh! Before I forget...Just because you have used protection, gotten surgeries, used arcane tricks that you think have worked to keep you from getting an STD or having an unwanted child...Don't thank the numbers, thank God that He hasn't decided to let you be one of those who fall outside the number. I know of serval mommies and daddies who DID use protection properly and still became parents. I know of people who took EVERY procaution to protect themselves from getting STDs. Now they are running around here with herpies, HIV, syphillis. and other nastiness. And you know what the sickest part is, SOME OF THEM JUST DON'T CARE and you have laid with them...And again by the grace of God, you have not caught anything.

Remember ALL scientists and experts have told you, us, the world, the only way to 100% protect ourselves and not have to worry about these consequences is through ABSTAINENCE. But, who cares, go ahead and have your fun, a few of you WILL be statistics (if you have not been/are already).
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 87 (view)
 
if you could get your virginity back?
Posted: 2/7/2007 10:13:54 PM
Why are we shocked that our children are imitating us? We teach them that it is okay to have sex with friends and/or because we are in love. We teach them that it is okay to flaunt your stuff for everyone and that no one should approach you when you are obviously selling your sex. It does not shock me that children are having threesomes, foursomes, and orgies after school. I am not suprise that our young ones are prostituting themselves for money or trying everything they can to catch that little boy vice focusing on their studies. We taught them that with our own loose morals that our parents were trying to tell us to avoid. No. It isn't a shock and they well pass along the some attitudes to our grandchildren.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 208 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/7/2007 9:48:45 PM
Actually, I recant that last statement. As far as not basing why you should date a guy because he has a car. Because you ladies are actually helping me out in knowing who to avoid in my search. Plus, one thing I forgot about. I have a really nasty side. I remember a past girlfriend telling me what she would not do for me. I pleaded my case and she stuck to her guns...Good for her. NOT, because not to long after she wanted me to do the same thing and I was like, "You are right, I would have done that for you. But, what did I tell you from get go? Do unto me as you would want me to do unto you." I am willing to play with a woman on her terms. If you really think that my loving you has to do with me having a car fine. Don't be surprised if men are going to start demanding the same for you. I once told a friend something about that. And he tried something I suggested. This woman so thought his having a car was important so that he could drive her around. You know what he did? He either made her give him gas money or they took two separate cars...There was serveral times she got drunk and he just called her a cab. And when she got mad at him and ask him why he didn't drive her home, he said..."You are the one who chose to get drunk. I just didn't want you throwing up all in my car or thinking that you were coming home with me like that." And we laughed. You know why? She use to talk about how it sucked dating men who didn't have cars and how she would dump them or avoid them all together. Then we both pointed her out to her that, she had every right to do that, but, we also told her that men are more than their cars. And asked how would you like to the man who is choosing you is only choosing you because of your looks or avoided you because of them? They dated a few more weeks and then he dumped her cold. He told her she was fine for a time but he needed a less shallow woman. Some he felt that would be with him even if he had none. The look on her face was precious. If you want to know the kinds of games the wise can play? It is accepting you in to teach you a lesson, and then tossing you away. Poetic justice is something best served when a person thought they won.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 207 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 2/7/2007 8:45:25 PM
I am glad you feel that way. Let me introduce you to a few felones who had cars and women who thought they were classy because of it, until they beat them and raped them in that car the woman required them to have. Nice personality, eh?

Actually, let me thank all you ladies who have taught me something. Most men are right, there are more women out there who are just as shallow as men. We go for looks yall go for money. What a wonderfully lovely world we live in where love has been reduced to looks and properties. God, you can take me home now, there may be no women left worth my time...At least not in most of the European countries and America. Fellas, my suggestion, do like the big companies are doing, go foreign. I can tell you from experience, if you are able to treat the women in a lot of less materialistic nations like women...You are prized. They won't care if you have a car or not. They won't care if you have your own place, just as long as you are willing to work towards getting your own place by the time you are married, they will work with you. And many more of them do not mind taking you around, because they KNOW WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT...IS THAT MAN WILLING TO LOVE ME HOW I DESERVE TO BE LOVED.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Does the fact that I am widowed scare men off?
Posted: 2/7/2007 7:14:38 PM
First let me say, I am sorry for your loss. But, you know, most men would not care (unless there was a question as to how one's husband or wife died). So, don't be worried about what a man is thinking. And if you are still worried about it, maybe it is not time for you to move on. But, if it has been awhile, fight that instinct to run, or she will keep you away from the joys that life has for you, even in a good husband and for that family you want.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
What if you really liked the girl but the sex was terrible?
Posted: 2/7/2007 7:09:51 PM
Invest in things like The Better Sex video series. How-to-Books. And YOU instruct her. Trust me, it is not hard to get someone to learn something that is natural to us (and just because it is natural does not mean it is mastered).
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 364 (view)
 
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/7/2007 7:05:43 PM

well most women who live at home I would say are not into responsibility and independence, if youre living at home because of convienance YOURE A LOSER

I dont think men or women should live at home with their parents unless they are taking care of the parents.


This was your quote on Posted: 2/1/2007 at 10:02:31 AM. This does not look like a distinction of who is who. And again, I guess everyone in the world has to call anyone one else a loser based on their like or dislikes. Instead of trying to education, too many moronic, self-righteous, self-important people think the have the right to judge the position of another. Instead of taking the blessings they have had in life and trying to help someone out, the are quick to put down, make fun of, or brush to the side another who does not fit it there little world. You know what is funny. Those who are so quick to dismiss people. Most never will know what it is like because they will never see how quickly and easily they have been dismissed.

For those of you who understand that it does not matter your circumstance, EVERYONE has the right to love and to be loved. I hope you never lose that knowledge and understanding like the others of this world. And no matter who confronts you, do what is right, for the only thing we have to take with us to the grave, is the honor, love, and actions we have given in this life.

For those who can hear and who see to grow, know this...Love is not about if someone is doing something right or wrong. If they live at home or not. If they are moochers or not, because in truth, many more of them still find someone to love them and grow. Not because someone downed them, but because someone was willing to reach out to love them. If you are as loving as you say you are, then stop your judgements and elitist atitude, if someone is doing wrong, educate them. If someone is down, lift them up. Do onto others as you would want someone to do for you if you were in that same situation.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
I know our profiles says dating but are we here mainly for the forums?
Posted: 2/7/2007 6:32:33 PM
Unfortunately, it seems like my mission for being here is not going to happen. I was here for dating purposes, but seeing that has failed. I guess I will stay here in the forums and have fun.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
bringing up the subject of telling the truth
Posted: 2/7/2007 7:47:01 AM
So, B&H...You are telling me that you are 100% truthful ALL THE TIME? That no matter how much it could hurt things between you and an SO or lead to an meaningless arguement that you will ALWAYS tell the truth? Again, I ask. If you saw an ex just briefly, ,and you feel it would be wise to tell your ex because he is insecure about these things, no matter how innocent...You would risk an big blow up over something as trivial as "Hi." and a few exchanged words?

And I agree with you Lil. Let people express what they want. Who cares if it is redundant or not or if it is about self pitying. People have guininue issues that should be openly discussed. Maybe that will help deal with some of the things that do go on in relationships.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Romancing the Ex
Posted: 2/7/2007 7:31:00 AM
It is not that I don't expect that it is over...I see it as she putting herself back on the dating table. And I think I have mention a few incidences where friends have broken up. Did the apart thing. Dated. And found themselves back with an ex and the two are now happier than ever.

Sometimes things do change between people. Old habits that once broke them up gone. Old barriers overcame. Or for some, it takes that reinforcement of someone being there for them that helps them over some of the insecurities we ALL have within ourselves.

I give my ex all the room she needs. I might write her once every few months to make sure all is well and to check up on how her business and family are doing. Once in a few months she will check up on me and my family and to see how my studies are going.

And since she is one of the few women who actually has shown me what love was about, I appreciate that and send her a small thank you as a reminder of what she has done for me. Not less than I do for my other friends. However, like I said, before, I am getting no bites, and she still gives off the vibes, so I will respond. Why should I sit here and let meaningless things fill the space that only a woman can? So, if it is me not coping or moving on, maybe I have not been given reason enough to.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
bringing up the subject of telling the truth
Posted: 2/7/2007 7:08:17 AM
To be honest. Let me tell you something about truth. It is good to be truthful but, there is also wisdom to come with it. Example, you see an old flame, you chat, nothing wrong, but you know your SO gets upset about exs just popping up (maybe the last SO's gf cheated on him with an ex and now he can't help but question EVERY woman's motives after that) while the truth would be good to tell him, but wisdom would be you keep it to yourself, especially if it was a chance meeting. Some people will end relationships over the slightest appearance of improriety (is that used in the right context?). You and the ex may have done nothing wrong, but he has his own vision of what COULD happened, no matter how remote.

Another thing about truth...NO ONE. NOT NO ONE, save for certain religious icons, ever tells the truth or everything 100% of the time. And if someone tells you the do, and they aren't claiming to be one of those religious icons (like Jesus), run, they have just told you the biggest lie in the book.

So, yes, you can make your demands and he could make his, and yes, I do believe you should have that talk about the need for major displays of truth and honesty, because they are need in a relationship, but don't think lies (especially those of used to protect the other's feelings) won't be told.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 1382 (view)
 
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 2/7/2007 6:56:49 AM
Self Plug:

If you are a single mother, with one or two kids, are looking for a long term relationship with marriage possibilities, and want more children...I for one raise my hand and say that you have at least one guy out there open to you.
 Dark-N-Romantic
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 169 (view)
 
are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 2/7/2007 6:51:20 AM
Speaking for myself, I have always ended up with odd kinds of relationships that ended for the other's lack of trying or giving up on hope.

1st Girlfriend--22--I just want to stop seeing.
2nd Girlfriend--(Not)--29--Internet game player for 2 years.
3rd Girlfriend--30--Lost contact.
4th Girlfriend--32--Moved away, heard less and less from her.
5th Girlfriend--34--Did not think the long distance thing would work.

Here I am nearing 37 and I have not had any prospects. It was my dream to be married by 25 and to at least have 2 to 3 kids by now. While I do fault myself in some of the choices I made in women. But, I also hold each one accountable as well. Except for gf #2, things happened. It wasn't good or bad reasons, just fate. But, trust me, I try to fight for each of those relationships.

So, now tell me. And other guys like me who just seem so unlucky at love...If you ladies are doing the right thing. Making the right choices. Why are those of use who would treat you right bearing the blunt of your failed relationships? If anyone should be leery, it should be us men for what if we chose you and OOPS! Another failed relationship?

And to put the shoe on the other foot, and for those of you who are leery...Should us men be leery of you ladies who have no children and have never been married? And for those women who have been divorced (especially multiple times) and who do have kids (especially those who have children from multiple men), shoulld we be leery of you? Should we be concerned about a woman in her 50's that seems to never have been in a long term relationship?

Ladies and gentlemen, if intimate relationships seem to constantly end in failure or if a person seems to be continuously rejected or not even looked at. Certain aspects of their ability to bond does ethropy. The ability to relate is like the musclar system of the body, the less and less it is exercised, the weaker it becomes. And it is not entirely that person's fault. Maybe sometimes if men and women opened broadened their horizons and in the words of the silly "settle" for a moment, they might find that wonder they are looking for. That man or woman that will make their heart sing. My last ex did that, and boy did our hearts fly like the birds for a spell. She was a one in a million. I hate to say it, you women out there are proving her right, none of you seem to even to be able to match one nail on her pinky toe. But, yet you all calm to be looking for the same thing as she was...A man who will love you for you. Not for what you have. For not what you look like. I am not saying don't have standards and preferences, I am saying if you see it not getting you the results you want...Maybe the problem is not the people other most of the time, but your own choices. I had to learn that the hard way.
 
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