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 Author Thread: Jesus ~ in laymans terms
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Jesus ~ in laymans terms
Posted: 12/16/2018 9:30:25 AM



Did POF get sold to Christian Mingle?

Lol...yes.....so women can stop worrying now. The men know they have to buy the cow before they can drink the milk. Buy your wedding dresses ladies! :)

Neah, not true. A man of above average looks and social skills can get laid just as easily on Christian Mingle as any other dating site.

I have a friend, a very good looking man in his early 40's, who is on or has been on every dating site known to mankind. He swears by Christian Mingle, talks about "just keep repeating 'Praise the Lord' while removing her clothing".
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 298 (view)
 
Merry Christmas -- now get out there and date!
Posted: 12/16/2018 9:18:19 AM
I know I’ve talked about this before, but when you get to a certain age, you find there are very few things that you haven’t talked about before, so…

To all of the men out there who complain they can’t get an answer to their messages, NOW is the time. Based on my experiences, you are about 4 times more likely to get an answer to an initial message in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Don’t ask me why, I’ve heard various explanations, reasons, thoughts, logical arguments, what have you. All I know is :: in these few weeks leading up to Christmas, women are much more likely to respond to an initial message.

I’m living that right now. I don’t really work this site anymore, but between OK*Cupid, T*inder, and B*umble, I’m suddenly faced with more replies than I can realistically deal with. This is from swipe rights and initial messages that I did from a few days ago to several weeks ago. It’s like every one just woke from hibernation.

Remember the usual rules: Decent pictures, be polite, mention something from their profile.

Now get out there and play ball!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 30 (view)
 
What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 12/13/2018 4:15:54 PM


I disagree. There are certain deal-breakers for me which are not normally mentioned in profiles. Having opposite political beliefs from mine is a big one. I would ask questions concerning my deal-breakers early on to screen out unsuitable prospects.


This is unfortunately true. It didn't use to be such a big deal, people could have political differences, policy differences, without being dire enemies. My ex-wife and I often voted differently. And yes, we talked about it, openly, and there was no real animosity, just a difference of opinion. That just doesn't seem to be possible anymore.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 12/13/2018 4:13:03 PM


Isn't that most people though? We tend to discount the attention we receive from people we're not interested in. I remember several years ago I was at a bar with my male friend and said something along the lines of, "I don't remember the last time a guy bought me a drink." He looked at me stone-faced and replied, "I just did."

Been there, done that, did NOT buy the t-shirt.

But to bring this back around -- I almost never receive messages here when I have not initiated the conversation myself. And I don't do much initiating here these days, so the last 3 messages I received were from 2 forum regulars and Marcus.

Such is life.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Be honest, how long did you know the last person you had sex with?
Posted: 11/25/2018 5:15:22 PM
Mostly I’m going to agree with LadyInRed0407.

Ladyinred0407
I have nothing to hide. I have had sex with who ……………...and when I chose. I had no need to ask permission. No need whatsoever to seek the approval of others. Freedom!

But just to take part in your homework assignment (or need for validation?):
The answer to that question varies. A lot. The last one?? We connected on Tinder, talked for 3 or 4 days, met for a drink, went somewhere else for another drink, …

The next day, she had dropped me from Tinder, and did not answer my texts. Go figure.

The one before that? She liked movies, so did I, we went to the movies 5 or 6 times, over a period of a month or so. She seemed to be not interested in intimacy, but she always insisted on paying her own way, and we liked the same movies, and I enjoyed her company. And then one night she was interested in intimacy. Go figure.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 417 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/25/2018 5:03:23 PM

MsMicki
Some of us women made what we thought were positive choices....
I dated my husband for 6 months, then lived with him for over a year before I married him.
Not once in that time did he show one sign of being a violent man....
He got laid off from his job, started drinking heavily (which he had never done before) and I found out real quick whiskey made him a mean...mean man.

I was watching a movie the other night, Netflix I think, “Night Moves”, 1975, Gene Hackman as a private eye. Not a bad movie. At one point, this woman explains to Gene Hackman’s character why she is with the particular man she’s with. The guy's kinda worthless, and drinks too much, but she said he was the only man she ever met who became nicer when he drank.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 160 (view)
 
Getting blocked by someone for no apparent reason
Posted: 11/22/2018 9:04:50 AM


I rarely send a second message. if she didn't see anything at first, I don't want to be the floor scrapins after she tore threw all the good meat. what I find odd and somewhat insulting is I have found profiles and went to message only to find I am blocked. do women actually go threw all the profiles and block all the men their not interested in?

As I recall, you cannot be blocked until you have sent a message. Are you sure you didn't message her some time ago, and just forgot it? That has happened to me, certainly.

And some of the blocks you encounter are not exactly self-explanatory. The 14 year age limit, the "only accepts messages from upgraded users", or if she set a 75 mile distance limit. All you see are "only accepts messages from certain users, look for someone else", which can leave you scratching your head.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 22 (view)
 
only accepts messages from upgraded users
Posted: 11/22/2018 8:58:45 AM
I was a paid member for several years, no longer. The biggest benefit was the ability to see previous interactions, which saved me quite a bit of time. The ability to see, right there on her profile, that I had messaged her 2 years previously, kept me from wasting my time by messaging her again.

Cowboy and I used to argue about that. He claimed that he could remember every woman that he had ever messaged. The math just didn’t add up. Cowboy had been on here for many years, he admitted to a response rate of around 10% (pretty much the average around here), and he also said that he had been on several hundred first meets. All of which meant that he had sent thousands and thousands of initial messages. And he could remember EVERY single woman that he had ever messaged?

I think that would require some extraordinary talent, like a photographic memory.

I miss Cowboy, RIP, we used to have some interesting discussions.

Another benefit that I was forgetting: As a paid member, I could see the last time she logged in, which kept me from wasting time on someone who was no longer active.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 13 (view)
 
choosing-between casual dating and intimate monogamy
Posted: 11/22/2018 8:41:43 AM

siisaa
I'd rather forgo sex altogether than have a string of casual flings. If I am single and not dating anyone, there is no reason for me to have sex. With my current boyfriend, I was celibate for a year before we had sex and not because I couldn't get it....I didn't want it unless it was a person who I saw long-term potential with & vice versa. I had plenty of offers in that year-long drought but they were guys I had no future with. Although I was attracted to a few of them, I could tell by their behavior towards me they wouldn't have been anything more than a fling.

This is not a binary choice, 0 or 1, yes or no. This is an analog choice, there are an infinite number of “Shades of Grey”, not just 50. The choice is not just between “casual flings” or “committed LTR”. And you, siisaa, know that quite well. I’m not really sure why you posted the above?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
choosing-between casual dating and intimate monogamy
Posted: 11/22/2018 8:38:07 AM

siisaa
I had plenty of offers in that year-long drought

Now this is definitely a young person speaking. One year does not constitute a drought! (smile)

dragonbytes
Well, I was celibate for 7 years. Not that I had a huge choice

Now THAT would constitute a drought.

This is not the kind of thing that I have kept records on, so I can’t say for certain, but I don’t believe I’ve ever gone a full year with no sex at all. What I did experience was a period of about 10 years where I only had sex once every few months, maybe 2, 3, 4 times a year. Depends on how long before I got desperate enough to ask for and accept a pity f___.

A really, really bad thing. Destroyed my morale, my self-respect, left me with a bad case of chronic depression that required 7 months of therapy to get over. And the worst part? It was all on my head, no one to blame but me. I was not locked in a cage, no one held a gun to my head.

Ah, well, my life is pretty good now. No complaints.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 20 (view)
 
only accepts messages from upgraded users
Posted: 11/18/2018 10:23:45 AM
When this whole thing (“only accepts messages from upgraded users”) first came up, it really p_____ me off. You can’t see it until you have read her profile, spent a few minutes composing a witty, thoughtful reply, and then Bang! You’re blocked. Your efforts were for naught. One of the reasons that I quit shopping on this site (that, combined with a much higher success rate on Tinder and Bumble).

I strongly suspect that when you run into it, it is most likely a “cheat”. A fake profile, put up by the people running the site to try to induce you to spend some money. It’s hard for me to imagine why a legitimate user would choose that option. I suppose it is possible, but it just doesn’t seem very likely.

And I agree, 100%, with Meramec, just above. Some woman choosing that as an alternative to hiding her profile makes absolutely no sense. The very idea is ridiculous.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
choosing-between casual dating and intimate monogamy
Posted: 11/18/2018 9:55:26 AM
Be careful with what you’re saying here. There are a number of people in these forums who will immediately form up a lynching party and gladly haul you away to the nearest tall tree or lamppost.

I have a slightly different viewpoint on this. Do not get hung up in the beginning with trying to find the perfect partner. Find someone that seems reasonably close to what you want (appearance, distance, etc). Meet for coffee or a drink, see if that works out. If it does, have a real date. If that goes well, then after a couple of dates, if you find each other attractive, move on to the sex. If that goes well, then rinse and repeat.

I have found in my life that I only fall in love after I have been intimate with someone. The intimacy is no guarantee of love, but it is a necessary prerequisite. It just seems that in my life, in my experiences, the real bonding takes place after sex. Lying in bed, holding each other, talking. About anything and everything. After the clothes are off, after you have revealed your true (physical) self, you are much more likely to open up and reveal your true inner self.

And that is when you discover whether or not you are really compatible. And if you’re not, well then hopefully you at least had some good sex.

The important thing is to be open to whatever possibilities life may offer up.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 57 (view)
 
What would you expect from a partner?
Posted: 11/18/2018 9:42:14 AM

Clytemnestra


I once fell in lust with a man I'd known for some time and originally found unattractive simply because he showed me how to make calculus beautiful.

I fell in lust with each and every one of my math teachers. Philosophy professors did it for me too.
(Smile)


Come closer so I can whisper in your ear.

2+2 = 4

4+4 = 8
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Help please
Posted: 11/17/2018 11:10:08 AM

siisaa
There are only a handful of profiles that REALLY stick out, many people aren't too good at selling themselves. ohenryx is one poster who springs to mind that has an out-of-the-ordinary profile (in a positive way). Maybe he will respond and offer some pointers.

Thank you for the very kind words.


siisaa


Complimenting her appearance is usually not good.

Bingo. If you're messaging a woman, it's pretty much a given you find her physically attractive on some level. There is no need to mention her appearance.

I would disagree, slightly. You do not want to say anything about the bikini picture, or her cleavage picture. Never mention any such. But … If she has a picture with a 1,000 watt smile, I find it works well to mention something along the lines of, “You have a smile that would really light up the room!” Or, if she has particularly long beautiful hair, then it’s okay to mention how much you like her hair. Just don’t say something like, “Damn, you’re hot!” or “You’re so beautiful I can’t see how a woman like you would ever notice a guy like me.”

Overall, his profile and pictures look okay to me. I would just say, hang in there, keep working on it. It takes a while, this is not an overnight success kind of thing.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 51 (view)
 
What would you expect from a partner?
Posted: 11/17/2018 9:54:32 AM
There are a few areas where I try to fix things, because I don’t care for the newer replacements. A clothes washer is one of those items. The new models have too many electronic controls, which lead to premature, expensive failures. And they take far too long to wash a load of clothes, so I keep fixing my old one. When something breaks that is beyond my abilities, I will just buy a good used one, another old fashioned model with no electronics and works quickly.

A “+1” from me for siisaa’s list, as well.


BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
i liked siisa's list. kindness is so rare, it comes from those who can afford it, these days. if i had a nickel for every person who said, "hey, if you ever need help, call" and then had an excuse when i did.

Your specific example would not fall under the category of “kindness”, at least not to me. I would just call that “being a friend”. Kindness would be many things to many different people. To me, it would be someone who truly seemed to care and offer sympathy when life has kicked me in the teeth. Someone who cares about and is kind to animals, all animals. And many more things, but I’m sure you get my drift here.

BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
as for kink, any sex would be unusual for me, so i can accept the vanilla :)

The more attractive the woman, the more I will be inclined to accept “vanilla”. As we shade towards average, then yes, a little “kink” to add excitement would be a very good thing.

And if I might add, over time vanilla will become boring, even with that attractive woman. Sure, at first, it’s all a big rush. “How did I get this lucky to be here with a woman this beautiful?” But trust me, that wears off. At which time a little kink will go a long way.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 11/14/2018 5:07:11 PM


It looks like a Profile from Adult Friendfinder.


And what's wrong with my profile on Adult*Friend*Finder???

Oh, wait, he wasn't talking about me...

Never mind.

On edit: I didn't realize they were blocking references to Adult*Friend*Finder and substituting "somespamsite". Interesting choice for the substitution. Spam Site? Really? LOL

 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Spam and prostitution
Posted: 11/14/2018 4:40:44 PM

fullmoonguy2
The above great difficulty only applies to those men who are not a 6 foot tall male model who owns and drives a $1.4 million Ferrari LaFerrari.

Bullhockey.

I am 6 feet tall, but I drive a Ford truck and a minivan (the very epitome of a non-sexy vehicle). I am not rich, I am not famous, and I am old and fat (no question about those 2 properties). And I get dates on a fairly regular basis. I have even been in 2 good relationships over the last 9 years.

Did I have to work to make that happen? You damn right I did. But if you approach it the right way, with the right attitude, then it becomes fun, a game.

Step number one: Quit whining. Nobody likes a whiner. Do fun things, talk about the fun things that you engage in. Some woman just might want to hang out with you and have some fun.

This ain’t rocket science.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 176 (view)
 
How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/14/2018 4:31:38 PM

norwegianguy456
Yeah, you don't go into a job that can't support yourself. Many women go into job fields where they can. You shouldn't think about having kids until you're Solidified in a proper financial situation for the long haul. One should not be set to go by "Jerry Springer Rules" -- where you figure things out after popping out kids with Leroy or Skeeter who have a tough time keeping down a job.

But I agree many gals will go for careers that are lesser paying than men on average. That's a different subject. Point is, if you're not financially grounded for the long haul to have kids, don't have kids. If you're not financially grounded to move out of your parents', don't move out of your parents'. If you're not financially grounded to move to that nice condo community + getting that pretty sweet car -- don't do it.

+1, on everything you said.

And I have to say, JulyStorm’s story does sound far far too much like something you would see on Jerry Springer.

Side note: I will deny to my dying day that I have ever watched a single episode of that show. But I have heard people talk about it, and I have seen very brief excerpts.


oldwxman
A grand national project is important. The astronauts and NASA scientists inspired school kids my age to create the technology we have today. This time, we will include the girls. Imagine what we will get from that!

Now that, by god, is the smartest thing you have ever said on here.

I work on the upstream side of the oil business, and have for the last 45 years. When I started, it was about 95% men. These days, it is a lot closer to 50-50. Women are getting degrees in geology and physics and petroleum engineering and math and computer science and …

Despite the setbacks we are seeing right now, the world is slowly getting better. Sexual equality is not fully achieved, but we are a lot further down that road than when I was young. Same with racial equality, and conservation, and many other things.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 417 (view)
 
On dating a cheapskate.
Posted: 11/11/2018 8:07:55 PM

norwegianguy456
I disagree, in a way. I don't think it's due to hormone construct at all

Bottom line: I agree with many findings out there that women have just as much a sex drive as men.

We’re going to have to agree to disagree on this one. We could argue “nature vs nurture” all day, but in the end, men pursue women for purposes of sex, not the other way around.

Yes, yes, I know, there are exceptions. But they are exceptions, not the rule.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 255 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/11/2018 7:56:38 PM
^^^ You must not have looked very hard.
Previous page, page 10, message 245. Rise_Above_This said:


browneyesboo are you ****ing stupid?

Also note that the emphasis (bold font) was his, not added by me.

And most definitely not a good idea. Boo has been around these forums a very long time, and has a well earned reputation for being the very opposite of “stupid”.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is art attractive?
Posted: 11/11/2018 9:59:36 AM

hemingway234
I'm an artist (writer, inventor).

Say what? That does not compute.

To me, an inventor is a scientist, which is close to being the opposite of an artist. Thomas Edison, often described as “America’s greatest inventor” would never, in a million years, have referred to himself as an artist. Now as to writer, Hemingway would have probably punched you out if you called him an artist. Robert Heinlein would have laughed at the very idea. I expect Stephen King would also laugh at the idea.

Now before you bring it up, I will grant you Leonardo Da Vinci, the quintessential “Renaissance Man”. But he lived and died 600 years ago, so I’m going to discount that one.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 104 (view)
 
What does Wants to date but nothing serious mean?
Posted: 11/11/2018 9:22:50 AM
Some of you people need to lighten up. I go out on dates to have fun. I go to work to be serious, to achieve satisfaction from getting the job done, and doing it well. And, yes, because they pay me to be there.

Entirely different things, “dating” and “serious”.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 67 (view)
 
How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/11/2018 9:12:40 AM
^^^ That sounds really bad. Did you read that and think about what you were saying before you hit the POST button?


This part in particular. It makes you sound very, very "material", to quote Madonna.

jerseynative7
an actual ring on my finger


Messages this short may not be posted
Messages this short may not be posted
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is art attractive?
Posted: 11/10/2018 9:23:02 AM
Interesting question. I’m going to say, “Not that attractive to most women.”

First, you’re going to have to find a woman who is interested in art. Which is not that hard to do, there are many. And then the subset of women who agree with you about exactly what constitutes art, and what constitutes “good art”. Those two criteria will narrow the field quite a bit.

And then you’re still going to find that most women are not that attracted to an “artistic man”. “Artistic men” are seen, rightly or wrongly, as being on the weak and effeminate side. And women who like that type are rare. By this point, your potential dating pool is probably down around 1 in 1,000 women. Not my fault, just the way the math works. Ask Danimal, he can explain it better than me.

Math does not lie. As an artistic type, you possibly (probably) do not like math. But math does not lie.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 409 (view)
 
Wanking off costs less than dating
Posted: 11/10/2018 9:15:46 AM
NG, you’re leaving out one very important thing.

There is a reason that prostitution is the oldest profession. And that is because men have a higher sex drive than women, they are the ones driven by their hormones to pursue the opposite sex. As long as this is true (and I don’t see it changing anytime soon), then men will be the ones doing the pursuing and the paying for dates. Because dating is about sex, and anyone who claims differently is either grossly mistaken or lying to themselves and to you.

Before anyone breaks out the flamethrowers, yes, I am aware that there are exceptions to the above. But I’m not talking about the rare exception, I’m talking about the great majority of people in this world.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Guys searching for you on FaceBook, etc., without asking & before you have met
Posted: 11/10/2018 8:58:33 AM


According to a 2018 CareerBuilder survey, 70 percent of employers use social media to screen candidates during the hiring process, and about 43 percent of employers use social media to check on current employees.


Interesting. And a bit scary. If I were younger, this would concern me, greatly. Also make me more cautious about my use of social media.

But then what about that idiot who wore the absolutely horrific t-shirt to the polling place in Mississippi, and then lost his job over the resulting publicity. He sounds (and looks) like someone who probably needs to be locked up before he walks into a country-western bar and shoots 12 people. And then all his neighbors say, “He looked perfectly normal to me.”
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 315 (view)
 
A man and his car...
Posted: 11/9/2018 9:23:13 AM

Ladyinred0407
"Don't you know women don't drive trucks?"

Hmmmm? Nope, guess I missed THAT memo!

Hell, in my part of the world, everybody drives trucks. Or SUVs.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 314 (view)
 
A man and his car...
Posted: 11/9/2018 9:22:09 AM

browneyesboo
I can eat spaghetti without a bib

We always knew you were high class, Boo, and this proves it conclusively! 😊

On a more serious note, a few years back I had lunch with a woman I was dating and her adult son. He was about 25, a decent guy, but not very mature for his age. He said something about was it all right for him to have the ribs, and I replied, “Sure, why not?” Seems he had recently had a first date that didn’t go well. He ate ribs, made a mess of it, and the young lady kept frowning at him. Like I said, not very mature (or worldly wise) for his age.


browneyesboo
But I look like shyte in a bikini.

I’ll be the judge of that! I have found that many women in my age group are much more critical of their appearance than I am. Especially their appearance unclothed or partially clothed. By the time we get that far along, I am so excited to be there, with her, that the main thing I see is the smile on her face, the gleam in her eye.

YMMV
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 106 (view)
 
How men mathematically sleep with more people than women
Posted: 11/8/2018 4:55:29 PM
An interesting thought occurred to me. Do you remember what AdventureJoe said, just a short while ago? That he had done a million different things over the course of his life that he never would have done if it weren’t for women. My first reaction to that was total agreement. I know my life would have been drastically different if women didn’t exist. I think that pretty much ALL men do things because of women, because of some hope of getting next to some hottie.

But is that NOT true for MGTOW? Do MGTOW men actually conduct themselves the same way they would if women didn’t exist, if there weren’t two sexes?

My thought: maybe they are affected less, maybe they react a little less than the average man. But I seriously doubt they act the same way they would if there weren’t two sexes.

YMMV

ON EDIT:
I remember reading an article, this was a number of years back. This man was disturbed by his own sex drive, he thought it was ruining his life. He tried drugs which would suppress his sex drive, but it wasn’t enough. Doctors absolutely would not agree to surgically remove healthy testicles. So this guy spent a bunch of time studying, reading, learning. Managed to acquire a lot of local anesthetics, surgical instruments (scalpels, clamps, etc), whatever he needed. He then proceeded to actually do it.

At the end he was not able to finish the job (closing the wounds, stitching, etc), so he called for an ambulance. Which took him to the hospital, closed him up, and took care of him. And if that isn’t enough to make you “shrivel up” for the rest of the week, there is a kicker to this story. There are other parts of your body which release chemicals which stimulate the sex drive. That’s right, even without his testicles, he still had a sex drive.

 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 309 (view)
 
A man and his car...
Posted: 11/8/2018 4:46:36 PM


<---- New car! New car!
Less than 600 miles so far.
Wheee...!

I absolutely, unequivocally, 100% beyond the shadow of a doubt can assure you that men do not give a s__. Not one iota.


What you look like in a bikini, how many dates before you get frisky, and (maybe) can you make intelligent conversation.

Your car? Nope.

Can you eat spaghetti without a bib? Nope.

Can you discuss (intelligently and coherently) Einstein's theory of relativity? Nope.

Congratulations on the new car though, I hope it makes YOU happy.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Science Says Finding Your Soul Mate Is Basically Impossible
Posted: 11/7/2018 4:32:06 PM

browneyesboo
I think it's mostly luck.
That and the quality of your snacks.


Funny you should mention that. The local HEB used to carry this particular brand of dried sausage, which I really liked. Then it disappeared off the shelves for a year or more. I was in the store Sunday evening, and it's back!!!



Mike's Recipe
By H-E-B
Smoked
Semi-Dry Sausage Ring
Naturally Hardwood smoked
Pork and Beef


Really great stuff. Definitely not cheap, but worth every penny. Happy Snacking to everyone.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 49 (view)
 
she's and alcoholic, dry for 11 years, I'm a social drinker, looking for advice...
Posted: 11/5/2018 4:38:08 PM
In this day and age, most people I know have had experience with at least one person with a serious drinking problem. Quite often a family member or close relative, but could be extended family / close friend / co-worker.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/08/11/study-one-in-eight-american-adults-are-alcoholics/?utm_term=.b5329320e2e0



A new study published in JAMA Psychiatry this month finds that the rate of alcohol use disorder, or what's colloquially known as “alcoholism,” rose by a shocking 49 percent in the first decade of the 2000s. One in eight American adults, or 12.7 percent of the U.S. population, now meets diagnostic criteria for alcohol use disorder, according to the study.


So, yes, I know who Bill W is. I have two family members who qualify, so I have studied this.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 521 (view)
 
Love,Quality of life and who pays
Posted: 11/5/2018 4:24:46 PM

julystorm22
Money actually keeps me from friendships with women too. There's been a few ladies nights and such that would have been good opportunities to hang out with other women but I just couldn't ration the money. And I've also been invited to go along for things like concerts and such but money was again my reason for saying no. What I need is to find women I have common interests with that are broke too.


That sounds like college days. I have stated a number of times that college was one of the best parts of my life. I was dead broke for 4 straight years, but had more fun than at any time before or since. That works because you are surrounded by hundreds or thousands of people the same age in the same boat – dead broke and looking for a good time.

After you get out of school, you are not supposed to be dead broke, and if by some misfortune you are, it’s going to be much harder to find others in the same position.

Once again, I suspect that Meetup groups just might have what you seek.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 214 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/5/2018 4:17:25 PM

Clytemnestra
Raises hand. My turn to go. Though this thread has gotten so depressing, that I may just put my head in the oven.
Not turn the oven ON, mind you, just put my head in there. Cuz I just got a new oven and its clean as a whistle and the oven light works!
Good times~

Hey, that sounds like fun! Why don’t you invite the gang over, we’ll all hang out and bake something, maybe some Colorado brownies?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Unfriended, then re-friended woman who rejected me. What did this tell her?
Posted: 11/1/2018 4:41:23 PM
I had to go look, the OP is supposedly 35 years old. I would say, "It's time for you to grow up. Quit acting like a school kid."

Pay close attention here, this is probably the only time you will ever see me quote from the bible:


When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Cancelled/rescheduled date. Feeling vulnerable & irritated, thoughts?
Posted: 11/1/2018 4:23:19 PM
Great jumping jehosophat! You’re 27 years old, and you’re dating a virgin? You’re kidding me, right? Please tell me you’re only joking, this is just a troll post.

Where do these people come from???

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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 145 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/1/2018 4:18:18 PM
If you’re going to do FWB, then the 2 of you need to agree on how you’re going to handle matters.

There are basically 2 schools of thought:

1) Exclusivity
2) Don’t ask don’t tell

If you go for option 2, then you really need to be careful with that. Never talk about anyone else you might be seeing or dating or whatever. Never go somewhere that mutual friends may see you and talk about you. In a small town, this is pretty damn hard to do. But it sounds like your friend was trying, if he was limiting his extra-curricular activities to out of town trips. It that is the case, then how exactly do you know about it? Is he doing something incredibly stupid like talk to you about other women?


norwegianguy456
Oddly enough, I think one's at a "peak" emotional level when they can be fooling around with someone they're not that into, from time to time -- while not being emotionally affected that they're surely dipping their pen in another person's ink, given enough time.

What it boils down to is “possessive”. Either you are, or you aren’t. And it can vary all over the place, depending on the circumstances, the timing, many other things.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Why Office Air Conditioning is Sexist
Posted: 10/31/2018 9:24:43 PM
Funny thing... I always thought the basic idea behind an online dating site was to try and get together with the opposite sex, not to wage war against them.

Funny thing that...

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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Qualities men look for in a woman?
Posted: 10/30/2018 9:21:35 PM
Well…. I could take exception to one. Intelligent. Often people of average or slightly below average intelligence will resent someone who is markedly more intelligent. And I don’t mean someone who acts arrogant or superior, just someone who is obviously far above you on that scale.

Also attractive can be a pitfall. A man who is with a woman much more attractive than he will often suffer insecurity as a result. And I assume the same could happen in reverse.

I don’t know, just my thoughts.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Time wasters
Posted: 10/30/2018 9:11:34 PM

IgorFrankensteen
Of course, I'm old, and I don't participate in things like POF using my cell phone. All the notices that cell phones give me about everything from emails, to tweets, to notices from businesses, to you name it, would make me hate pretty much anyone who tried to talk to me through an interface like this, no matter what. No way I'm engaging in conversation with ANYONE using my cell, until we are well into a serious ongoing relationship.

First off, let me say, welcome back, Igor. It’s good to see you around these parts again.

Secondly, based on your statements above, Tinder and Bumble are NOT going to work for you (smile). One of the things I dislike about both is that you have to do all of your initial talking using a text only interface on the cell phone. Although there is an Android emulator available for Windows … hmmm… I need to look into that.


IgorFrankensteen
Is it just that you get your hopes up, and then you have all this excess energy pooling in you, and feel embarrassed about getting those hopes up? Is that why you are looking for something rude to say about them?

Very insightful reply. But then we expect nothing less from Igor.

The answer to that (getting your hopes up, investing too much emotional energy in someone you haven’t even met yet), is to get things going in real life. Not necessarily dating (although that is a good thing), but just “things” in general. Take some classes in night school. Join Meetup groups and go dancing or hiking or ANYTHING. Get out of the house, do things, have a life.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 119 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 10/30/2018 8:55:35 PM
That is one of those things that two people should agree on. You don’t have to be in perfect agreement from the get-go, but you should talk and reach an understanding. You really need to know how the other party views money, and spending, and saving. You have to be able to reach an understanding, some kind of reasonable compromise, or your relationship doesn’t stand a chance.

A marriage doesn’t have to be a financial partnership. But if one partner thinks that way, and the other doesn’t, the outlook is not good. As Boo said so well, you should be “all in” and they should expect your best effort. But what that means in relation to finances is something for the two of you to work out, together. BEFORE.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 329 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/30/2018 4:36:46 PM
Did someone mention sybian machine? You know I ... Nah, never mind.

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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Lack of interest.
Posted: 10/29/2018 5:38:24 PM

norwegianguy456
Saying something like "That belt in your 2nd picture caught my eye in an odd way. I mean, I like the dress you're wearing, but I'm assuming you have a better looking belt, right?" will garner a response from a cute chick with lots of attention.

Hmmm… not in my part of the world. You start talking like that to a woman here, and she will likely assume that you’re a gay fashion designer or something.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 85 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 10/29/2018 4:44:19 PM
Top 10 Regrets... (from https://www.thedailypositive.com/top-10-regrets-dying/)
1. I never pursued my dreams and aspirations.

I like playing with computers, and I get paid for doing that. What “dreams and aspirations” was I supposed to pursue?

2. I worked too much and never made time for my family.
3. I should have made more time for my friends.


Anyone with a halfway decent job / career can get by just fine with a 40 hour work week. Barring the commute from hell, that leaves plenty of time for family and friends and recreation.

4. I should have said ‘I love you’ a lot more.

Can’t argue with that.

5. I should have spoken my mind instead of holding back and resenting things.

That ain’t me!

6. I should have been the bigger person and resolved my problems.

Hmmm…. I guess that has to be true, at least now and then, in anyone’s life. But not as a general rule, or all that often.

7. I wish I had children.

The people I know, who chose not to have kids, have not come around to regretting that decision. I do know a few people (pretty much only women) who always intended to, but just never got around to it, so …

8. I should have saved more money for my retirement.

How many people do you know who worked and saved and scrimped, and then dropped dead before they ever got around to enjoying it? Yes, you should put aside something, but for heaven’s sake do a little living, right now, while you’re still able to enjoy it!

9. Not having the courage to live truthfully.

What exactly does that mean, anyway? That they should have “come out of the closet” or ????

10. Happiness is a Choice, I wish I knew that earlier.

Now that is a BS phrase if I ever heard one. Yes, you can choose to work at TRYING to make yourself happy. But that sure doesn’t guarantee success.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Lack of interest.
Posted: 10/28/2018 8:07:06 PM

adventurejoe70
^^^^
I BELIEVE HIM!
Although I never got close to 75%, there were times during my experimentation where I had a small sample size reply that was over 75%. That was of course being a "sniper" with who I wrote to. In the end a big waste of time using so much effort ,but if he is indeed carefully writing messages to a type that he carefully screens and has experience that likes him..it is CERTAINLY possible.

For example, If I see a women who says she was from Greece, Italy , Israel, Eastern Europe, etc I know based on experience I can send a message that has a extremely high reply rate. Again I am sniping individuals mostly from continental Europe that I have experience with knowing that if they are "trapped " in USA , will have an interest in me. If I do , what most guys do, yeah reply rate be very small in comparison. That being said, I truly believe it is a numbers game so sniping is wasted time.

Yes, that kind of technique can increase your response rate, but (as you correctly noted), not your actual “success rate”. I have found that I can pick women who have a real “hook” in their profile, and get a very high response rate. Not 75%, but approaching 50%. Say they mention “the blues” in their profile. I write them, ask them if they’re a member of the Houston Blues Society, ask them who is their favorite local blues band.

Say they have a picture with an Airedale, I can write them and talk about that particular breed of dog. High response rate, but basically a waste of time (mine and hers) because she doesn’t really want to date me, but will talk with anyone about her dog. I think that Joe might manage 75% using a “hook” where I only achieved at most 50%, as he is indeed much better looking than me.

The OP? “Forget about it!” as they would say on the Sopranos.


MeramecRiverRat
I believe it is better to get a reply to a short message you take only a few seconds to compose with little conscious thought. If she replies to a one sentence message that makes a slight reference to her profile (probably to a photo), there is a decent chance of interest.

Agree, 100%. You do NOT want a reply from a woman who would never actually date you. Just a waste of time, yours and hers.

MeramecRiverRat
The swipe sites have more action, though many of the Bumble matches expire without a message within 24 hours.

Runs about 1 in 3 for me, that is the “match” actually sending a message within 24 hours. But, as adventurejoe said, up above, “I truly believe it is a numbers game.”
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 36 (view)
 
For those that do multiple meet and greets, how many in one day?
Posted: 10/28/2018 7:51:22 PM
A few years ago I tried scheduling two meetings for a single day, on a Saturday. I have done as many as 5 in one week, but I didn't like it, it quickly became confusing. These days I usually keep it down to one or two a week, when I'm feeling up to it, primed and ready to roll.

There was a Sunday a few weeks back, I had brunch with one lady, no spark, no anything. Came home, got online, asked another lady I had been talking with to have a casual dinner the same day. That one was a little better, but still no second date. It's been a while since I had a second date.

Keep on keeping on. It will get better, it always does.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Lack of interest.
Posted: 10/27/2018 6:50:24 PM

norwegianguy456
And, shall I include, your claim that 75% of these Amazing women you write to, not only will give a response, but have a Conversation. Far fetched claim there, too.

I’m glad you pointed that out. As soon as I saw that, I knew he was spouting BS. In the history of OLD, no man has ever achieved a 75% response rate. Never, not once. If he looked like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Robert Redford rolled into one, that wouldn’t happen.

The only circumstance where I could imagine that conceivably happening would be if he were a multi-millionaire, and could somehow post proof of that on his profile. Anything short of that, I’m calling BS on this one.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 153 (view)
 
as long as they are willing to do two jobs--blow and hand :)
Posted: 10/27/2018 6:34:15 PM

adventurejoe70
Heck looking back I wasted A LOT of time doing things that if women disappeared from the planet I would never do in a million years.

Now that is a truly brilliant statement. One that is honest, and true, and the kind of statement that is so 100% obvious that you can’t imagine anyone taking issue with it, or disagreeing, even in the slightest degree. I would supposed that women can make the same statement from their side of the aisle, but I really wouldn’t know, having never been a woman.

I think the closest I’ve ever seen anyone come to saying exactly what Joe just said would be the famous (infamous?) line from Chris Rock:


If a man could get laid living in a box, he would never buy a house.

Which is along the same lines, but doesn’t fully capture the message that Joe just laid on us. For one thing, I probably would live in a house, just not the kind of house that most women would like or appreciate. But I digress…

To pick up on the cops working as security guards – we see a lot of that here in Houston. A quick google search finds


The average Police Patrol Officer salary in Houston, TX is $55,400 as of September 28, 2018, but the range typically falls between $51,732 and $60,359.

Most of them make quite a bit more by working second jobs as security. The neighborhood supermarket has an armed, in uniform LEO on duty, standing inside the front door, every minute that they are open. Houston Police, Harris County Sheriff’s deputy, etc.

Many of the big firms in downtown Houston hire off duty policemen and sheriff’s deputies for after hours security. Keep their employee’s safe when they leave work after hours. The big parking garages will usually have off duty officers, in uniform, directing traffic at quitting time.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 10/27/2018 9:28:43 AM

zonavar69
This and sites like are are, for all intents and purposes, nothing more than a hookup site. ;-)

Uh … no. Wrong. There are hookup sites, this isn’t one of them. You are treating it like one, as pointed out by calliopedreams in message 3. You need to make your profile fit the site it’s on.

zonavar69


not to mention a lack of self-awareness

This I don't understand

You took her comment out of context. Quote the whole sentence and it makes perfect sense.

calliopedreams
This all points to a level of creepiness, not to mention a lack of self-awareness.

What she said, what she meant by what she said, are crystal clear. There are elements of your profile which women will find “creepy”, and you don’t even seem to be aware of that.


Sweet_Danimal makes some very good points in message 4, you should really go back and reread that post. The single most important point – ”You still need to get out and have a life of your own”


Sweet_Danimal
I'm on here because I refuse to pay money for matching.

Why not? Have you got something more important to do with your money? If you can’t afford it, that’s one thing. But if you can, and just refuse, then (IMHO) you’re just limiting yourself.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Using different names?
Posted: 10/26/2018 5:09:15 PM

siisaa
Interesting, Henry. How do you know these women are in open marriages? Do you somehow get confirmation from their husbands or just go off their word?

How do you know that anyone you meet though any online dating site isn’t married and cheating? We quite often see women here in the forums complaining about the number of married men they encounter through this site.

Basically, if she is willing to go out on the town, dinner in a nice place, dancing at a high end establishment rather than a dive on the other side of town, then you just go with your instincts.

I know I’ve told this story before, but not recently, so here goes …

A few years back, I had an initial meeting with a woman from either POF or Ok*Cupid, doesn’t matter which. We met on a weekday evening for drinks at a trendy hangout not that far from my house (and hers). She spent the best part of the evening complaining about how all of the men that she met turned out to be married. After she asked me for the third or fourth time, “Are you sure you aren’t married?”, I responded with “What would it take to convince you?” That questioned silenced her momentarily, so I followed up with, ”Would you like to go through my house and see for yourself?”

Much to my surprise, she enthusiastically took me up on that offer. So there I was, on a first date / initial meeting, with my date going though my house, checking out all of the closets and medicine cabinets. Sheesh.
 
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