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 Author Thread: Reconnecting with a ex after 10 years.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Reconnecting with a ex after 10 years.
Posted: 1/17/2019 3:44:33 PM
So, she's going thru a divorce. You are either her moral support or the possible rebound guy. Trust me, you do not want to be the rebound guy. The rebound person is usually dumped as soon as the person going thru a breakup feels better about themself.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 19 (view)
 
wow
Posted: 1/13/2019 5:29:52 PM
I believe that some people can and do remain friends, but there has to have been a real friendship to begin with. Because she wasn't a friend is probably why you don't think it's a good idea. Go with your gut on this one. It's telling you this is a bad idea for a reason.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 1833 (view)
 
Paying for a date
Posted: 1/13/2019 4:52:24 PM

According to some people on previous threads, gift cards, certificates, coupons etc are unacceptable sources of payment on the first date. LOL.


OMG, I remember that thread. I think there's a difference between thrifty and cheap. A coupon wouldn't bother me. The money saved with coupons can be used for more fun.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Women can't hold conversations, that's why they're here
Posted: 1/5/2019 3:36:13 PM
I know it's a confusing, but women learn quickly on here that if they send a polite rejection they're more likely to get a vicious email in return than a thank you for being honest. Ignoring has the same effect as a polite rejection. Some women preemptively block, but my opinion is that blocking should be reserved for mega azzholes.

Be yourself. The women that get your humor and like it will respond in the way you'd appreciate.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Dating Around - The Modern Way to Date?
Posted: 12/18/2018 12:12:32 PM
Some people cannot bear to be alone and will date anyone. Eventually they get bored and start looking for another person. There are also the rescuers that fall for the damaged person who dumps them when an ex comes back into the picture. Some people really care about each other, but realize they're not a match and mutually agree to move on. There are those addicted to the love hormone. As soon as it starts to wear off they're looking for a new love.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Why do women have slogan pics in their profile
Posted: 12/17/2018 4:19:19 PM
OP, if it makes you feel any better I find it a bit annoying when I see men's profiles with those too. If it's the main picture, open the profile. There's an option under the picture to report it for not being a current head shot.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 304 (view)
 
Happy Christmas, the war (of the sexes) is over
Posted: 12/17/2018 3:12:11 PM
Henry wrote:

To all of the men out there who complain they can’t get an answer to their messages, NOW is the time. Based on my experiences, you are about 4 times more likely to get an answer to an initial message in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Don’t ask me why, I’ve heard various explanations, reasons, thoughts, logical arguments, what have you. All I know is :: in these few weeks leading up to Christmas, women are much more likely to respond to an initial message.


MyTrueCompanion wrote:

If a person is sincere & wants a REAL RELATIONSHIP, based on mutual respect & care, etc. they would NOT be attempting an emotional manipulation (some people get emotionally vulnerable during the Holidays & therefore easy to MANIPULATE)


I don't think Henry wrote what he did to advise manipulators, but to encourage some men that now could be a good time to attempt writing again. Looking for a relationship isn't easy. I don't believe that just because some are vulnerable this time of year is a good reason to abandon searching. Both men and women should pay to who they're emailing and responding to. The risk of finding a user or being contacted by one is what we need to be cautious about 365/366 days a year. For those searching for something real, good luck.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 35 (view)
 
What are things you see in dating profiles that will make you sadly skip past them?
Posted: 12/13/2018 10:49:17 PM
When I was dating I'd pass on unnecessarily rude and/or hurtful comments - no matter the context.

Shirtless pictures. Same with men showing off their possessions.

Rotten teeth.

All their pictures being them wearing sunglasses and hats.

Profiles with pictures, but none of the person.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 33 (view)
 
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/13/2018 9:50:11 PM
As a fat, old broad I say be honest that you're not attracted to larger women, but avoid the snide or rude comments so that you don't scare off our friends. Some will probably still contact you, but you do not need to respond.

The reason I'd advise not responding is even kind rejection can get some very ugly feedback. You don't need that.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 4 (view)
 
When a couple feels bait & switched but really only one was.
Posted: 12/7/2018 2:14:04 PM
five-marie, men especially those of previous generations, were punished for showing emotions. They were expected to be tough. I remember what our father did to my brother.

Anyway, a lot of people falsely advertise who they are. Some do it deliberately, but I have a hard time believing all do because we have a tendency to be our best self during the getting to know each other phase. After becoming comfortable we relax and show the side of ourselves that might have gotten us rejected in the beginning. That's how we've learned that if a person does offensive things in the beginning don't make excuses for them, just cut them lose. It tends to gets worse, not better.

I think this also should include our motives. Don't pretend to want long term if you just want to get laid. Don't say FWB when wanting long term.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Turning someone down for sex
Posted: 12/6/2018 10:29:29 PM
Other than illness there is another reason that I've turned down sex with a partner. That has been when the person has been excessively hurtful. It would be great if you could always just kiss and make up, but it isn't always that simple. It's not punishment, it's recovery time.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 469 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 12/2/2018 10:56:07 AM
I agree with whiterose and mahwahgirl. I don't see the point in demonizing missionaries. Most are sincere and want to help people. I'd rank them with teachers, nurses, police, etc. Sure there are losers in any group, but don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Do you feel you have run out of fish in your area?
Posted: 12/1/2018 12:37:31 PM

It seems no matter what app or dating site I use with little exception I'm seeing the same damn faces over and over,


This is why I don't advocate spending money on the paid sites. I've seen them endorsed with statements like people are more serious when they pay. That wasn't been my experience. The problem with OLD is that too many people have crazy expectations. This isn't Amazon where we see something (someone) we think we want, order and is delivered in a couple of days. Women are just as bad as men with this mindset. The difference is that women don't need to put the effort since men are more active pursuers.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 10 (view)
 
...only accepts messages from certain users...
Posted: 11/23/2018 1:52:52 PM
Ok guys, the Meet Me feature is a farce. You don't have to say Yes to have the other person receive that notification that the user wants to meet you. Some users think they're being kind not rejecting you and say Maybe. This causes lots of frustration. Do yourself a favor and ignore the Meet Me and the resulting users that want to meet you notifications. It's less frustrating that way.

Good luck.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Looking to date thin petite cute sweet women in Kamloops
Posted: 11/23/2018 1:04:35 PM
^^^ hahaha.


Just got started


You've been here awhile and have periodically participated in these forums. I'm surprised that you hadn't realized that the forums aren't the best place to find what you're looking for. Not that some couples haven't find each other in here, but your chances of finding the woman that meets your criteria will best doing local searches.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 238 (view)
 
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 11/19/2018 2:22:59 PM
I'm not a PC do-gooder, but I am a woman who has received unsolicited penis pictures from men I've never shared an email with. Some men seem to think that's acceptable behavior.

As for whipping your penis out in public, when do you consider that acceptable?
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 7867 (view)
 
Will President Elect Donald Trump Last The Full 4 Years?
Posted: 11/19/2018 12:39:58 PM

The only one who loves trade deals is Trump and his sheep supporters who don't understand that Global trade was fine tuned and working just fine until Trump stuck his greedy, fat, short fingers into the system.


Tell that to those here in the states that have lost jobs to outsourching and still have to worry about it. Think about it the next time you call for customer service and get pissed because the person you're speaking to barely speaks English and doesn't really understand what you need help with. Please stop taking it on those few reps still in the states, when you finally get one, because the offshore reps lied to you.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Spam and prostitution
Posted: 11/18/2018 6:58:03 PM

Disclaimer:

The above great difficulty only applies to those men who are not a 6 foot tall male model who owns and drives a $1.4 million Ferrari LaFerrari.


Ah, his trusty stead.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

OP, help clean up this site and report the profiles that are prostitutes. See, you can be part of the solution.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 235 (view)
 
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 11/18/2018 9:42:22 AM
Ill advised is not the worst thing I could say about the sender.

Look, I get that most guys would like to receive pictures of female genitalia and many assume that women might want to see theirs for the same reason. Generally speaking women don't want penis pictures unless it's from someone we are already involved with.

Men that walk up and whip out their stuff risk ending up on sex offender lists. What's the difference? Oh yeah, this is the internet where a certain amount of anonymity gives some people courage to do things they normally wouldn't. That still doesn't make it right.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Photos of ladies
Posted: 11/17/2018 8:36:16 PM
OP, consider yourself lucky not to keep seeing pictures of men with urinals behind them. Give me pictures with pets any day.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Do you like horses?
Posted: 11/17/2018 7:39:34 PM
Horses are wonderful. They form bonds with other critters, including humans. Here's a short article from Psychology Today that may help you understand more about horses and our love for them.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truisms-wellness/201607/no-horsing-around-about-the-human-equine-bond
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Triggers in profile photos
Posted: 11/4/2018 9:40:00 AM

I guess it could be worse-if they're taking a selfie while sitting on the toilet.


Oh, you'd be surprised at what shows up in Rate Pictures.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 554 (view)
 
The Walking Dead
Posted: 10/30/2018 12:16:57 AM
Vlad, I've begun season 2 of The Making of a Murderer. We can discuss it later.

I can say that the writing has improved on TWD, but even with the improved writing some of the dialog is still out of place and falling into that pit was just too convenient in episode 4. Maybe I'm being moody because I'm not ready to lose Rick and Maggie which is inevitable since both actors are leaving this season. Sigh...
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 810 (view)
 
Post your unpopular opinions here.
Posted: 10/30/2018 12:07:23 AM
Pumpkin spice lattes suck.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 90 (view)
 
My Cats are C*ck-Blocking Me
Posted: 10/24/2018 10:18:07 PM
I hope you both have snow tires.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Ex told me she's pregnant. I blocked her.
Posted: 10/23/2018 11:05:40 AM

You are not. Communicating with her in any way can serve no purpose.


It can, but we'll never know since this man-child insists on sticking his head in the sand and arguing. He's looking like the attention seeker.


All of the flack that you are getting is from people who want you to be warm and loving and above all RESPECTFUL to all women no matter how deceitful and manipulative they are cuz vagina.


Wherever did you get that idea? Most people have been telling this fool to get get his head out of the sand and get a lawyer.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 2 (view)
 
User stats
Posted: 10/22/2018 8:31:29 PM
Would this list include inappropriate messages, incidents of stalking behavior, unsolicited penis pictures, etc? Sometimes there are good reasons to block someone or quit responding. I have only deleted for the above reasons.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 17 (view)
 
A longer than 10 words question... please read
Posted: 10/22/2018 8:25:13 PM
OP, pictures really do improve your chances.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Line is getting blurry between friends and dating
Posted: 10/22/2018 8:22:56 PM
Since this post is about 2 months old I hope the OP will come back and tells us if he told her and how that went.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Ex told me she's pregnant. I blocked her.
Posted: 10/21/2018 7:24:57 PM
She sent you a picture of a positive pregnancy test. If she's pregnant with your kid blocking her isn't gonna make your problems go away. Stop being a fool.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Ex told me she's pregnant. I blocked her.
Posted: 10/21/2018 1:51:28 PM
Heaven help the kid if your ex is pregnant. Both of you need to grow up.

Listen to those telling you to contact a lawyer. If she's pregnant with your child you need to know your rights and responsibilities. Putting it off is foolish.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/10/2018 3:16:19 PM

I got a free sign up with eharmony years ago when my friend signed
up.
After filling out the 9000 question application, they told me they had
no matches for me at the time.


Wow, I'd have thought you'd have gotten much better matches them I did. That you didn't get any shocks me. Maybe they thought I was dumb enough to accept their offering, but you weren't?
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/10/2018 12:46:37 PM
Actually the OP might do well on there. Years ago a friend talked me into signing up on eHarmony. They did ask for your age preference, but of the matches they sent to me only one was close to my age. The rest were all at least 14 yrs older than myself. I left their site.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Questions regarding space
Posted: 10/9/2018 8:14:19 PM
It would definitely depend on the recipient. With the usual hi beautiful someone might find this refreshing enough to at least check out the your profile. If you try it, let us know what happens.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 549 (view)
 
The Walking Dead
Posted: 10/9/2018 10:02:55 AM
I have heard that Netflix is different in other countries. Shame. Fortunately I also have Prime. That's where I caught (and binged) Downton Abbey.

To tell the truth I'm not a zombie fan. TWD is more about people. I found it by accident while channel surfing when they were running a marathon during the first season. I couldn't believe I watched it and got hooked. I've repeatedly laughed at myself.

I'm one that re-watches what I love. One of my favorite US comedies is 3rd Rock from the Sun. It's not on Netflix anymore. Hopefully they bring it back one day. My son recommends Parks and Recreation (he's a bigger fan of Fawlty Towers than I am). It's finally on my waitlist.

I will keep my eye out for Only Fools And Horses and Steptoe and Son. What did you think of Moone Boy?
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 547 (view)
 
The Walking Dead
Posted: 10/8/2018 6:15:49 PM
Vlad, you should be able to catch the first 8 seasons of The Walking Dead on Netflix. The first 5 seasons were, in my opinion, the best with session 6 straying with silly soap opera gimmicks. 7 was just ok, but 8 was disappointing. There's a new show runner so I'm giving her a chance.

I love shows from the UK. Big Red Dwarf fan here. Also loved Last Tango in Halifax, Happy Valley and Death in Paradise. My list goes on. I'll keep my eye open for Bodyguard and Three Girls.

You might enjoy Longmire, Designated Survivor, The Blacklist, The 100 and, yes, even Supernatural. This the short list.

Happy viewing from rainy Everett.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 545 (view)
 
The Walking Dead
Posted: 10/7/2018 10:37:07 PM
Season 9 premiered tonight.

I was apprehensive because Carl's gone and this is the last season for Rick and Maggie. Still it was better than I'd expected. Some things did strike me odd like why was everyone so nervous about walking on the glass floor, then willing to take that wagon down the stairs and onto it?

What did you think?
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 72 (view)
 
How many partners is too much?
Posted: 10/3/2018 12:32:05 AM
The ring is a symbol of the promise of commitment and fidelity. It doesn't keep a person from cheating. It's character that keeps a person from cheating.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 7459 (view)
 
Will President Elect Donald Trump Last The Full 4 Years?
Posted: 10/2/2018 9:15:43 AM
How sad that KJ has been nuked. I love seeing open and honest discussions. Just sad.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 2 (view)
 
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 9/29/2018 12:00:59 AM
There could be reasons to only see you once a week, but if you're not comfortable with this arrangement you should talk to to him to find out why. If you're still uncomfortable or suspicious this isn't the right fit.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Worst reasons you've given when dumped?
Posted: 9/28/2018 11:01:41 PM
That's the first I've heard about swag being gay too.

My ex fell off the wagon after being sober for several years - and fell hard. What pissed me off more than drinking itself was the drinking and driving. I became a nag... One day he came home and told me that if I couldn't accept his drinking he would leave me. I looked at him and told him that he had a week to find his own place.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 2 (view)
 
back with new profile, but years old pics from last profile.
Posted: 9/26/2018 11:59:46 AM
Maybe these persons left to pursue a relationship that didn't work out. There is a bright side. You'll know those with the branded pictures are those you don't want to contact since they're using old pictures. Just concentrate on the ones you're interested in.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Together for 10+ years and still no cohabitation...cause for concern?
Posted: 9/26/2018 11:41:48 AM
I've known for years that I cannot live with another person. Despite all we hear about women trying to change her man, but men hoping the woman doesn't change, that hasn't been my experience. I just don't have the patience to deal with it anymore. I can care about someone and think he's wonderful, but not live with them. Maybe she's the same?
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 288 (view)
 
why do do many women have body type = thin
Posted: 9/24/2018 11:56:00 AM
July sweetie, I don't weigh 250 lbs, but I am fat so I marked my body type as BBW. A few extra pounds is just that - a few extra. Weight is not the best judge of body type. I know a beautiful 6' tall woman. On her 250 lbs is a few extra pounds. When searching for a partner I think putting up a full body shot is a smart thing. However, I don't think that should be mandatory.

As to why people lie about their age, height and/or weight I feel they hope that once you meet them you will be able to see past how they look and see them for their good qualities.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Cant hide profile
Posted: 9/24/2018 11:16:26 AM
Go to edit profile. It's at the top.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/24/2018 10:22:38 AM
Even if you wore a turtleneck men would be complementing you on your appearance. It's an easy opening and because they get a lot of rejection most men have given up on carefully thought out first messages. If anyone gets your attention read their profile then you decide if you want to answer.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Date with someone your not into or go solo?
Posted: 9/23/2018 7:11:51 PM
I've taken friends and gone alone. It all depends on what the function is.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 60 (view)
 
The BEST crockpot recipes...please post yours~
Posted: 9/22/2018 7:46:23 PM
Butter Chicken

Cube 1-2 lb(s) chicken breast
1 diced onion
2-3 minced cloves of garlic
3 tsp garam masala
1 tbsp fresh grated ginger
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1 can tomato paste 6 oz

Stir together in crock pot. 2 -4 hrs on high, 4-6 hrs on low.

Add 1 cup non fat Greek yogurt just before serving. Mix well. Serve over rice.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Are most women honest about their age?
Posted: 9/22/2018 7:08:20 PM
Both men and women lie about their age, but I don't think everyone does. I accidentally did once. I'd forgotten that I'd just turned 8 and said I was 7. I was teased quite a bit. That was enough embarrassment for me.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 272 (view)
 
Favorite POF forum posters?
Posted: 9/16/2018 10:01:48 PM
I miss KJ, Eric, Ouija, Walts, babblefish, Otto and a few others. Sadly, bobby_z_ man passed away in 2015 so we can't be be blessed with his presence again.
 
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