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 Author Thread: Men with no friends
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Men with no friends
Posted: 1/18/2019 11:34:14 PM
Another explanation is that he could be highly intelligent.

There are studies that show that high IQ people tend to have fewer friends. More average people don't have as many common interests with them and as a result don't make friends with them as easily.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Help ASAP
Posted: 1/18/2019 11:21:52 PM
Don't apologize. You are already forgiven.

You are a good guy and good guys own up to their mistakes. I get that. Thing is that you have a positive response right now. Take it. You quit drinking. Your future actions should be all of the apology you need. Bringing up a dead issue only shuffles a joker into the deck.

As to the age thing. I had a relationship with someone her age for close to ten years when I was in my 40s. Most rewarding of my life.

Sincere good luck, OP.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Getting to Know a Great but Busy Person
Posted: 1/13/2019 12:28:51 PM
Forget it man. She made her choice long before she ran across you. Just be thankful that you crossed paths with such a positive person. As much as you may like her... if it could be then it would be. Leave her to her chosen life.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Dames are all alike
Posted: 12/21/2018 6:35:50 PM
The most manipulative female ever:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjZescfvwyU

In order to maintain the highest quality forums all new topics must be at least 200 letters long.

Your new thread must have a topic and that hasn't already been discussed to death.


If you do not do this other users will report your thread to be deleted.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Airing of Grievances
Posted: 12/20/2018 1:12:08 PM

Was Jesus MGTOW or an incel?


Incel? I doubt it. If he was celibate, there is no evidence that it would have been involuntary.

MGTOW? Definitely not. He led a movement. He could hardly have been going his own way and have so many followers.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 13 (view)
 
What responsibilities should teens have and expected to do.
Posted: 12/19/2018 12:27:16 PM

That's bullshit. Your daughter isn't your maid and helpmate to you. For her to develop properly, she needs time to grow into herself and be with kids her own age, to develop good social skills, so when she's an adult, she won't feel like she has to fix everybody else's problems or completely sacrifice herself for some ungrateful **stard of a spouse. if it is too hard, hire somebody to come to your home two days a week to give your home a solid cleaning and have a reasonable schedule in which trash is taken out and the dishes are taken out of the dishwasher and packed away in the hutch.

My niece's and nephew's responsibilities are to pay attention to their school work and pick up after themselves. They are not anybody's slaves and they have enough going on between their work (related to their studies) and school without anybody leveraging heavily restricted privileges for excessive chores that somebody else can do to alleviate that burden. Teaching responsibility is one thing; but to pile shit on and not give a developing young woman some breathing room is a recipe for disaster.

Whatever you did as a child is what you did. If your generation in adulthood didn't vote against young people's best interests and **** it up, they could afford to live on their own. And, if parents are giving shit away for free, that's on them, but that doesn't mean young people aren't working their asses off just to get ahead.


I agree with flowers for the most part. Even though she is often intentionally provocative, she offers a lot to work with here.

I grew up as a crowned prince. I did f-all while my sisters worked their fingers to the bone. I joined the Navy and became an Aerographer's Mate, a skate job if there ever was one. With the help of CLEP, I was most of the way to a meteorology degree. The GI Bill did the rest and it got me a job in the government and I promptly retired on the federal payroll. My parents call me success. That was then. This is now. Nobody can do what I did anymore.

I agree. Old people grabbed with both hands and F'd it up for the young. Kids don't do what they used to do partly because they can't. When it comes to household chores, it's okay to ask for more but don't do it if you don't really need to just to "teach her responsibility." Anymore, responsibility, as it was in the olden days, is for freaking fools. Don't humiliate her like that. She will resent you for it. Rest assured, she knows the difference between what helps and what is meaningless toil. Rely on that instead of some outmoded notion of instilling character.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dating Around - The Modern Way to Date?
Posted: 12/19/2018 11:36:36 AM

In the last few years i have had 3 meets, one of which progressed to a date, and not a 2nd date as i dont put out as quickly as he hoped i might?


OP, It is just the way it goes these days. TEXASCHICK isn't unusual. It could be that she met a guy who wanted too much too soon. Since she also ended her statement with a question mark, it indicates that she has doesn't really know. She plainly says that she doesn't care. She could be using the putting out business as an excuse for not caring. At the end of the day, whether you want her to put out or not, she doesn't care. You move on quickly because she doesn't care.

Then there are the sort who go down like an anchor because they care way too much. You can't date them for long either because they get demanding.

Then there are the checklist girls. You don't want to get involved with them or you get used...

These days, there just aren't too many people who have a balanced view of dating. There probably never were. In the past people met through trusted friends or a parent's suggestion. Now, people almost have to go on their own. Prospects not being screened by either friends or family. It's like the difference between selling to someone through an enthusiastic referral or selling though a cold call. The latter is always more difficult. If your sister introduces you to a girl then you can start with a little more trust than you can with a photo-shopped internet picture.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Jesus ~ in laymans terms
Posted: 12/19/2018 10:54:57 AM

What I find interesting is why non - believers would wish to post about him


Actually, it should be expected because non believers know more about Jesus and his mission. I heard on the news recently that many uneducated people call themselves Christian because they think that it is part of being white supremacist, anti Semitic, anti government, anti tax, pro gun or pro military. Their identifying as Christian really has very little to do with Jesus at all. Most of these people never pray or attend church. They don't read the Bible. These people aren't the same as the people who staff soup kitchens or deliver food boxes to the poor and elderly; living their lives as Jesus directed. It is kinda like people calling themselves Italian when they were born in New York and have never been to Italy.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 25 (view)
 
How do I word this?
Posted: 12/12/2018 2:34:28 PM
No offense OP, but even the most popular men that I know don't get more than one or two messages a day. I can't imagine that you would need a one size fits all rejection message. You can afford to take a peek at her profile and try to be gentle with her. Rejection won't sting as much if you reply to her as a living person rather than just another picture in your gallery. Intent matters. If you are replying to her message with honest gratitude, letting her down won't be so brutal.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 256 (view)
 
when in doubt, pull (it) out.
Posted: 12/4/2018 6:55:10 AM

If its all the same to you, I prefer not to have some dude whacking his meat while I'm eating my lunch at the local food court. Nor do I want his sweaty balls, or some woman's vagina on display either.

It's not all the same to me. If it were up to me, you would be forced to deal with it. You are standing in the way of social progress. You should be run over regardless of your preferences.

If you want to masturbate, have at er, just do it in private, it's pretty self centered and arrogant to think everyone else wants to see it!

Again, it doesn't matter what they want to see. It wasn't long ago that people didn't want to see black children go to their school. They were forced, sometimes at gun point. A social taboo was broken despite the wishes of Jesus. This social taboo can be handled the same way.

I know what my circle of friends do with****pics. We compare them and laugh, mostly!

Once they are sent to you, they become your property. You can do whatever you like with them. None of this means that you should have any say in whether you get them or not.

I am actually a little surprised at you. You live in Canada. When I lived up there, Rogers Cable used to show dirty movies after midnight. You Canadians were way ahead of the US in destroying prudery. I expected that force would only be necessary in the Bible Belt of the US. I guess that there are inflexible conservatives everywhere.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 254 (view)
 
when in doubt, pull (it) out.
Posted: 12/3/2018 10:07:19 PM

I think OldWackman's posts are meant to get a rise out of people.

Companion is right in a sense. I am advocating a social/political agenda. Notice that I only attack old people, religion and what bad people call common decency. I am anti age and pro youth, anti faith and pro science, anti family and pro social engineering. I feel strongly that it takes an old guy sticking a finger into the eye of other old people to encourage youth to overthrow their tyranny. Though I rejoice in my own family, we are all old. We are also agreed that society, as it is, has to go. It's about a better world. This fake modesty nonsense is part of the old, bad way that is holding people down.

Nursing an infant is a beautiful, natural thing.

I can't disagree. I only seek to extend the same thought to masturbation, fellatio and nudity in general. John mentioned a public health issue with public urination and defecation. A legitimate objection, so I change my mind and withdraw my support for them. The Jesus based prudery is still condemned.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 250 (view)
 
when in doubt, pull (it) out.
Posted: 12/3/2018 11:45:25 AM

I guess you think you're funny.
Or witty.

I'm totally serious. There is no room for priggery or religious superstition and it should be punished severely. American soldiers were able to force Iraqi prisoners at Abu Graib to rub pee pees together. It may take something like that in some communities in America.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 248 (view)
 
when in doubt, pull (it) out.
Posted: 12/3/2018 9:52:39 AM

Never ceases to amaze me, how some men are so terrified of boobs when they are used for their natural purpose. Talk about titnazi's!

They don't do it because they are terrified. They do it cuz Jesus. It can be dealt with.

Don't stop at breastfeeding or even public urination. Make them watch public masturbation too. Things will get better when little Sally comes home from kindergarten and asks, "Mommy, why doesn't daddy let strangers put their wee wee in his bum like I saw in school today?" The trick is to start with the children.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Mom,maid or mat?
Posted: 11/30/2018 10:52:24 AM
Solution came by itself. Three weeks to fix the plumbing. Insurance will pay directly to the plumber. Mom is okay with sending laundry out because it will only be temporary. I panicked over nothing.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Mom,maid or mat?
Posted: 11/30/2018 4:26:38 AM
^^^ Insurance claim put in with both the company and homeowners policy. One or the other will pay. It shouldn't take long.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Mom,maid or mat?
Posted: 11/29/2018 10:21:53 PM
Bear with me. This is going to be convoluted.

As many of you know, I moved in with my parents a few months ago. When I first got here, I hired a maid service to help my mother. The maids came for one day and my mother went bats. It really stressed her out. She thought that they might be illegal aliens. Maybe they were but I don't care especially with all of this caravan nonsense going on. I am happy to do my part in employing illegals. She feels differently. I think that she was also anxious about strangers touching all of her stuff. I got rid of the maids. I figured, no problem. I have a new wheelchair that raises up and down and this house is all on one level, unlike my Iowa house. I can actually help her more than I thought I could. Besides, mom defies the second law of thermodynamics. She is an honest to goodness perpetual motion machine. She has always been that way. It keeps her active and happy.

Now to the issue... When I had a walk in bath tub installed, they broke the plumbing. When mom has to use the washing machine, my nephew has to run a hose out the back window, under a tool shed and out into the back yard. The plumbing will cost a lot to fix, I was quoted 20K, because the problem is in the concrete foundation under a block wall. I told mom that I would pay for it but she won't sign off on it. She thinks that it is way too expensive.

Trouble. Nephew is leaving to take a new job in New Mexico. It is impossible for me to hook up the hose. Mom says that she will do it but no. I won't have it. An 81 year old woman going out windows and crawling around on the ground? It's just plain ridiculous.

I figure that I have three choices:
1) Give in to mom and let her handle it. The last thing, I will let her do. She's in good shape but it is still dangerous. If she ever hurt herself...
2) Get a maid just to do the laundry and hope mom gets used to it.
or
3) Send it out to a laundry and have them do it. She is a little skittish about it but that would be the cheapest solution by far.

I can't just do it the easy way and fix the pipes. I'm not on the house deed and mom will never go for it. It will take permits and such. I legally need her to sign on.

There is another thing... Just how heavy handed should I be here? Mom is against everything but the worst solution. I've kinda taken my dad's place but this is my mother! I don't want to have to push her into something. Looks like that is what it is coming down to.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Looking to date thin petite cute sweet women in Kamloops
Posted: 11/29/2018 5:13:44 AM
I'll wish you a sincere good luck, OP.

You may not get what you want because there sure aren't very many in your area. Still, you have as much chance as any 68 y/o man up there. Fingers crossed for you.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 17 (view)
 
If looks do matter.
Posted: 11/29/2018 4:55:33 AM
OP, let me give it to you straight. You can't find the right person because she doesn't exist and never has. No man with your kind of self doubt could ever be satisfied by any woman that has ever been born. You will try to make her atone for all of the slights that other women have inflicted upon you... and considering your age, I know that they are many. Too many for even a near perfect woman to cope with.

Is there anything that you can do about it? Maybe. As someone who has always been as arrogant as Lucifer, I am the wrong person to give you any useful advice.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 419 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/25/2018 5:22:28 PM

OldWax?? Trying to insult you? was that your goal when you suggested younger women try older men? Maybe you r personifying a bit- i too have had much younger and older male lovers so understand the dynamics.

Of course you were trying to insult me. That's okay, I guess, because I did insult older women first. There is no denying that. All you did was join the dog pile on OldWx that was already started by others. Your insult didn't land because you overlooked a couple of things in my posting history.

Personalizing? Absolutely! First hand, personal experience has shown me that unconventional relationships can be some of the most fulfilling. I've been recommending them since I started posting. On the older/ younger issue, you have the advantage on me. I've had one partner that was much older. The rest were within a year or two of me. Nobody much younger. I am confident that older man/younger woman can work though. One of my sisters married her high school history teacher and they are still married after 35 years.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 399 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/23/2018 12:36:58 AM

To oldwxman- you too should try women 10-15 yrs your senior, an experience that would tickle you pink make you happy as a clam! you will feel appreciated!

Funny you should mention that because I have. One of the closest and most rewarding of my LTRs was with a woman several years older than my mother. It wasn't a MILF/teenager kind of thing either. It lasted when I was between 40 and 48. She was in her 60s. Appreciated doesn't even begin to describe how she made me feel. I'll never forget her as long as I live. I know that you were trying to insult me but you did me a great kindness by bringing her back to the front of my mind today. She is someone I am truly thankful for. Part of a very happy Thanksgiving.

My advice isn't just for July. Other young women and also young men should consider it too. Age isn't the only thing that blinds people to some fabulous possibilities. There are any number of factors that don't mean squat when you are happy with someone who cares.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Idiots on POF
Posted: 11/20/2018 8:06:30 PM
I would guess that she is poking fun at deep state conspiracy theories.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 379 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/20/2018 7:07:23 PM

^^^^ I think it was the comment above, that put a damper on your whole post. You probably ment stuck up going around thinking she was gods gift to men. < Respect is trait earned by a decent person, but not flaunted in any way.

Once again, you nailed it backcreek. My aim was to indite 70's and 80's paperback empowerment. I didn't respond to the women because they don't get it. They can't get it because it is a tenant of faith for them. Thankfully, younger women and men of all ages think it comical. We can picture an old, fat woman with a chip on her shoulder tormenting fast food workers. They call that self respect. We call it obnoxious.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 374 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/20/2018 5:48:49 PM

Probably that she’s not going to be as easy of a lay as he might hope


It saddens me to see this kind of remark from you of all people. In my opinion, you are easily the best example of how young women should think and operate who posts on this forum. I doubt very much that you would let me into your pants.

July is way too young to be a combative old bag stuck in the 1970s. You know as well as I do that daytime tv garbage psychology doesn't work anymore. It's dead. You know it but the biddies don't.

You also impress me as person with a good amount of empathy and understanding. They want her to be undatable. I recommended something that might work for her. Disagree and I can respect that. Maybe even endorse it because you know better what she faces. A reflexive dismissal is beneath you.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 370 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/20/2018 1:23:51 PM

it's about knowing how to respect yourself so that you can get to where you want to be.

Disagree. That would make matters worse. There is nothing more tedious or unlikable than a woman that goes around respecting herself.

Her best chance of getting what she wants is to set her sights on older men. In her age group and considering what she wants, there aren't apt to be many men who can relate to her. They have no experience with that kind of relationship and many have never seen it. Older men would also be more likely to be patient with her.

By older, I don't mean a couple of years. Ten or maybe fifteen would be ballpark.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 239 (view)
 
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 11/19/2018 4:53:20 PM

As for whipping your penis out in public, when do you consider that acceptable?

When you get right down to it, pretty much always. Sodomy is legal everywhere now. Women can nurse in public. In Ontario, women can go topless in public. Time for another step. Let's rid ourselves of bigotry and prudery once and for all.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 363 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 11/19/2018 5:39:10 AM
There has been a bit of a change in the last few years. Men are finally asking more of women. It wasn't long ago that most men came into this for a relationship. Now, fewer and fewer all the time. Everyone isn't going MGTOW but most of them are much more wary.

Two things that might be contributing to this are women's pickiness and the nature of OLD itself. A man chats with or even meets a woman. He starts thinking, "This bloated cow thinks I need a better car, better job and better wardrobe? No thanks." After a dozen of those, a guy doesn't want anything long lasting with any of them. He changes his profile from "relationship" to "hang out."

Another thing that might be going on is a difference in semantics. Take two people who have been seeing each other for a couple of months. She swears that he tricked her into being a fb. He mourns a relationship that didn't work out.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 236 (view)
 
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 11/19/2018 5:05:31 AM

Men that walk up and whip out their stuff risk ending up on sex offender lists. What's the difference? Oh yeah, this is the internet where a certain amount of anonymity gives some people courage to do things they normally wouldn't. That still doesn't make it right.

I'm unpersuaded. The anonymity stuff is just the internet excuse to promote censorship. Whether you believe censorship is good or bad (I happen to think that it is good), anonymity is a lame excuse that doesn't even come close to the heart of the matter.

Whipping it out in public not right? Not right but not wrong either. Neutral. Prudery comes bundled with many other social maladies such as racism, intolerance, ignorance and violence. The people who make trouble about such things are doing the evil.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 315 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/16/2018 10:35:31 PM
To be fair, she started the thread to get some discussion started when things were slow. Thirteen pages in less than a month tells me that she succeeded triumphantly. She doesn't seem to mind that we all talk about her, so long as we keep talking. Of course she has an answer for everything. If she said, "Problem solved. Thanks" and she signed off, we wouldn't be talking.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 233 (view)
 
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 11/15/2018 5:35:44 AM
More on topic...

I can see how someone could find it irksome but not cause for panic. Toilet paper and insurance commercials irk me but I am not operating out of dread. I'll bet I've seen more of those in a typical week than anyone has seen d!ck pics in their entire life. I don't see Alex Trebec as a threat eventhough I am between 50 and 80! The worst that you can say about the sender is that he is ill advised. A recipient that can't cope is the one with the real problem.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 232 (view)
 
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 11/15/2018 5:13:50 AM

I hate to be put in the position where I have to defend the guy that sending out****pictures, I believe it's a disgusting act and it shouldn't even be done in a relationship. Now I'm coming off as a prude.

Just like rape is not about sex, sending a****pick is less about sex than it is about communication and communicating desire or need for a deep emotional connection. That's why he said you ruined everything.

We already know that men are not great communicators, men, in general, do not know how to communicate or expressions emotions even very articulate men still find it very difficult to know what they are feeling much less how to express them.

Women are emotional creatures, men are very physical visual creatures.
Men are from Mars women are from Venus and we both speak in different languages.
If you truly and deeply want to understand how men think I would be open to a phone conversation.

You are not coming off as a prude. You are coming off as an NPC ... a non-player character. To younger people, your behavior is scripted and under computer control. In your case, you are hard-coded to be the out of touch old guy. Only programmed old guys say what you say. For instance, nobody who can still get a good erection even knows who John Gray is, never mind what he wrote.

I am not being mean to you. It came from your life. I am just as old so it was my life too. Thing is that it is over for us. It isn't our world anymore. Prude? No. Obsolete? Yes. I plead guilty as well.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 173 (view)
 
How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/13/2018 11:41:24 PM

Also, women tend to go into job fields that pay less in general. For example, I am well aware that an engineering degree would be much more beneficial for procuring a better-paying job but I had zero interest in it.

That's just you and now. It doesn't have to stay that way. If government and industry got behind a massive national project that led to intensive science and math education at all levels starting tomorrow then in five or ten years everything would be very different. Science is broad enough that with early exposure that there is almost always some branch that will get a primary school kid excited about it. If they can't dig math then maybe biology is their thing. If chemistry doesn't turn them on then maybe astronomy will. As a side effect, it will probably lessen or maybe even eliminate many gender and racial social problems.

A grand national project is important. The astronauts and NASA scientists inspired school kids my age to create the technology we have today. This time, we will include the girls. Imagine what we will get from that!
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 271 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/13/2018 5:47:42 AM

I was joking about the vibrator....but yet, I was not!

I know you were joking. My remarks were not pointed at you. I quoted Siisaa and merely added my thoughts to hers. I apologize to you if I offended. It really was unintentional.

There is absolutely nothing "defective" about masturbation....it is a normal, natural way to releave stress and receive a bit of sexual gratification.

check

I would much rather see someone self pleasuring....then jumping from man to man looking to fulfill some self induced need to having a partner in their life no matter how unhealthy that relationship is.

I that I understand your concept but have to disagree with the statement as you wrote it. What I take from your comment is that masturbation is preferable to indiscriminate sex. I agree insofar as I wouldn't suggest anyone frequent a glory hole. I disagree that it is wrong to seek a partner or that masturbation is superior to a partner. For normal people, the urge to seek a partner isn't a self induced fetish. The absence of the urge is cause for concern.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 268 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/12/2018 9:47:51 PM

You don't share connections and intimacy by using some gadget.


Very troubling. People seem to be very proud of being emotionally stunted. I don't think that it is fair to call them bad people but they are surely missing a vital component to their humanity. To be fully human, one needs to desire to bond with others. Psychopaths never developed a conscience and are therefore considered defective. These "go masturbate" people are also defective albeit in a different way. They are less than complete people. July, with all her weaknesses so to speak, is at least a full person. She should celebrate that fact and not listen to people who are unable to compute intimacy. She is already far beyond them in emotional development.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 137 (view)
 
How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 6:44:04 PM

I would rather be with someone that was selective in their bed mates.


Selective can mean many things. As an ex swinger as stated above, I have been with women who have had literally thousands of partners. After a few of those, you don't care how many partners a woman has had. Even a narrow minded moralist gets desensitized. Still, it is selective because swingers tend to be upper middle class and very careful about sexual health. Street walkers would likely have just as many partners but I have never heard of a male swinger that went to one.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 132 (view)
 
How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 1:17:38 PM

One theory - we assume that someone else has trained him correctly. Just a hypothesis (and, obviously, not always true).


A follow up question... What would prompt a woman to link sexual partners with housework? The reason I ask is that even if a man were a slob to start with, it should only take one partner to train him up.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 355 (view)
 
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 11/8/2018 9:48:57 AM
I don't know. I sure wish that I could have talked my ex wife into having sex without touching.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 128 (view)
 
How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 8:05:23 AM
Another side of the question...

As I got older and my numbers went up, women tended to find that attractive. In middle age, I got involved with swinging and my number of partners went from relatively few to relatively many in short order. Later in life, one woman asked me and I told her. She was astonished and became very insistent. There after I would tell everybody.

What would turn a woman on about so many partners? I know. I know. No forum woman would ever be with a man who had more than one. Maybe you have a friend that does that. What motivates her?

For men... Other guys must have noticed this phenomenon. In your opinion, how many is too few?
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 241 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/7/2018 1:35:31 PM

I am not in love with him. I just like him as a person and really enjoy my time with him and the words we share. Really, we are just friends, real friends, which is important to me.

You have a great deal of positive regard for this man. You may not want to name it but you are in love with him. Don't get me wrong. It's entirely positive whatever you want to call it.

Let's get down to cases. You say that you are average looking and fat. Add to that 35 and 3 kids. How many more chances do you think that you will get? True, you don't know how he feels but you do know that he has more consideration for you than anyone else. You get older every day. You may never have a better chance than you do right now. Close on him or regret it forever.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 186 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/4/2018 9:07:32 AM
backcreek7:

Surely he had to know it

That's just it. He might not have. We don't know what kind of man he is. Purplerider and I discussed that very thing in a thread about flirting. Some men need an explicit and unequivocal statement from her. I doubt that July can bring herself to put it out there like that.

With your permission, backcreek...

...if I give my heart
...to you
...I must be sure
...from the very start

If I Fell by Lennon and McCartney 1964
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 185 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/4/2018 8:40:29 AM

Once again it's feminist articles taking away accountability from women and directing all the responsibility onto men...

You really need to get off this feminist jazz. There is no real difference between feminist and non feminist women. They behave exactly the same. There are only women ... good, bad and indifferent. It is up to you to figure out which is which.

what about so called empowered women, who claim they can do anything a man can do, but of course they can't cause they won't ever take responsibility for their actions, wrong choices etc, cause they need to hold up the fake victim card and claim everything is a man's fault.

Totally irrelevant. Nobody, including July herself, would ever call her empowered. Most of us, including myself, have scolded July for evading responsibility and making bad choices in this and other threads. There is zero need to belabor that point.

You want to talk about real victims, then let's talk about Divorce courts in the west, raping men of everything they own and metoo mobs making false accusations against men and destroying men's lives...if a man is stupid enough to get married, when he has zero benefits from doing so, then he will get, what is coming to him, cause he is a total idiot...."

Okay, let's talk about it but in another thread. It's a real issue but a little off topic at this point in the discussion. Make a new thread and I guarantee you that I will be one of the first to comment.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 180 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/3/2018 8:01:51 PM
There is one question that July needs to be asked: Are you absolutely certain that this was just an FWB? The men only want sex stuff is just a myth. He could have had feelings for you and just gave up after a while because you would never come around. I know for certain that it can happen because it happened to me. When I was in Iowa, I had a six year FWB situation that was very comfortable. The girl even drove me to the airport and spent the night with me in Des Moines when I came home to Phoenix. I was open to more with her for a very long time. I developed feelings for her. I won't get into why nothing came of it. That would only cloud the issue. Main thing is men can attach in an FWB arrangement and they leave if they don't see a way forward. Is there any chance that that is what happened with him?
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 91 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 10/29/2018 9:06:13 PM

Your constant posts stating a man needs to make more than a woman just proves you are far more concerned with being taken care of instead of having a "love" relationship.


It does prove that. Thing is that when push comes to shove most men prefer to bond with someone like that. Oh, for sure, you will constantly hear complaints about gold diggers, dinner whores and what a woman brings to the table but that is all momentary exasperation. Press them a little farther and make them get into specifics and you will find that even these guys want a woman who is submissive and dependent.

That isn't to say that men don't value women of your sort. They absolutely do and greatly but in a slightly different way. More as a trusted colleague than an intimate consort. I think that a lot of men go wrong by picking the consort when they would be much better off with the colleague.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 90 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 10/29/2018 8:38:38 PM

Though I don't know any men who have ever ready HGB or most other women's literature.


Think back. You remember. A lot of the guys wanted to be Rick Springfield having a good cry. Those days were pretty weird. They didn't subscribe to women's mags but the girls all talked about them and television for both entertainment and advertising really poured it on. The men went with it. Some to a greater degree than others.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Time wasters
Posted: 10/28/2018 11:46:53 AM
I'll offer another explanation that I know applies to SOME men. (I don't know how many but some for sure.)

There are a lot of women who cut off chatting the very instant a man suggests meeting. The men stop asking because they mistakenly think that they would be wasting progress. They don't understand that progress is impossible with a woman like that. They have to learn that just ask and be done with it is the best way to determine progress. I don't think that the majority of women are hyper paranoid but there are enough of them to make inexperienced men risk adverse.

I agree with Polly. If you ask explicitly and they still stall then give up and try another. No point in dealing with them.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 31 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 10/27/2018 1:06:20 PM

I'm not sure that women expect men to delve into long phone calls and emote all over the place. (Certainly not me - but I detest long phone calls and weepy movies.)
Sometimes, the 'discuss our relationship' request is for exchanging information which may be vital to the relationship.


Glad you posted. This gives me a chance to expand on my first post like I promised. I said that women don't want the emotional wreckage that men think that they want. They never did really. To be fair, women's literature of the 70's and 80's pushed that stuff hard. Average women didn't really buy into that stuff completely. Helen Gurley Brown didn't represent the vast majority of women. Men didn't know that and because that was all that the media ever pushed they believed it. Men got whipsawed by trying to live the propaganda and being slapped by reality. Some of those guys are still alive and still yelping from the experience. Younger guys hear that and repeat. It will die out someday.


The woman wants to know if the relationship is leading to permanency and if so, how quickly.
She wants to know how is permanency defined - buying an engagement ring, planning the wedding, or buying a dog.
The woman wants to know if this relationship is mutually exclusive. Or not.
The woman wants to know if her male's sex life is good or not.
The woman wants the man to know that her sex life is or is not good.
The woman want the man to know that - after lots of thought - she has changed her stance on having children or pet or house or car.
The woman wants to buy a house. With him. Or without him.
She's been offered a job in Italy.
She's been offered a job in Italy AND she's going to take it
...
I don't think most women want a man to empathize with her feelings, I think she wants to know that she and her feelings are important to him.


Nothing more than women ever wanted. The fine details and priorities may be a bit different but mostly practical considerations. They are not calling for men to fall to pieces. Men only think that because that is what the media sold them. Not anything close to reality.


Having said that...
There is a way to talk to most men that is very different than talking to most women.
I think everyone should take some sort of sexual bilingual classes.

No specific disagreement really. I only doubt that such a thing would be decisive.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 27 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 10/27/2018 11:12:59 AM

Women used to look up to men
I still do

You don't. Probably never did. Otherwise, you wouldn't say the things that you say in the forums. Not just this thread but all of the others too. You are an excellent example of why old people have the worst relationships as noted in the original article. Your generation of women are the most ungrateful and most disagreeable women ever. People criticize millennial women but with all of their imperfections, they are better than you and the record shows.


Maybe...use some qualifiers....in your messages. There are still some of us that enjoy the opposite sex without using grandiose generalizations of all....

imo….some...not all...in my view....in my lifetime

This is a good "for instance." My grandmother would never say that. Millennial women wouldn't say that. Millennial women will express themselves but shy away from being the thought police. Face facts, your generation of women stand alone as the most combative in living memory. You have no place commenting upon relationships because it is impossible for you to maintain one.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 19 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 10/27/2018 9:00:24 AM
Danimal:

Just keep in mind, doing such doesn't mean you can force a guy to take over the bulk of the beta emotions and carry FEELINGS and conversations the way women have genetically for a millennia. Guys can't reprogram themselves to talk non-stop on the phone for hours on end, cry during kleenex commercials, spend way too much time deciding where the sofa goes, and feel a mad compulsion to buy automotive accessories simply because they are "ON SALE".


Beg to differ. Hear me out on this one. Men always have and will continue to do their emotional part. Yes, women can demand those things that Danimal listed and men will fall all over themselves to deliver. Women don't demand those things but more on that later.

I remember watching news reports about the Nazi rally in Chancellorsville last year. I could barely tell the difference between that and a gay pride parade. Those faggots were the big scary Nazis? I wonder how they would have stood up with the real Nazis in the Battle of Stalingrad. That was me thinking. I was in the Navy when it was all male and worked as a meteorologist, the most male dominated profession according to the Department of Commerce. My dad thought I was a pvssy. He was an engineer by profession and he fought as an infantryman in Korea. My grandfather thought that my dad was a pvssy . He was an electrician who fought in World War I. Masculinity has been on a sliding scale for a very long time.

My grandfather was the way he was and my father is the way he is because that is what women of their generations wanted and needed from them. My grandmother totally needed an unshakable Rock of Gibraltar like my grandfather. My mother totally wanted an ambitious and dependable man like my father even if my grandfather thought him a sissy. An emotional quagmire was the last thing that my mother and grandmother needed in a man. My dad and granddad delivered what they needed.

Fast forward to today. Women used to look up to men like may father and grandfather. Starting with my generation, women have been looking down on men. They still look down on them but not with the outright hostility of the older women. In the early 20th century, masculine meant ability to survive the trenches in Europe. In the early 21st century, masculine means ability and willingness to fellate your own penis at a woman's command. The college SJW homos are the new macho. This is what women want and this is what men will deliver.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 93 (view)
 
My Cats are C*ck-Blocking Me
Posted: 10/25/2018 4:35:17 PM
Cats are better than dogs. Even though dogs can be very, very loyal, no cat will ever show the police where you hide your dope.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Desperately need advice on how to reconnect with adult son! (Long post)
Posted: 10/24/2018 12:14:17 PM
OP, it is completely out of your hands. You were a good father but you couldn't have been perfect. Things changed too fast while he was growing up. Many of the things that worked for you and that you tried to show him just don't work for him in the modern environment. You are a father, not a prophet of the Lord. You can't be right all the time but he will resent you for it anyway. That's how he was raised.

I am sad to say that the best thing that you can do is turn your back on him. At this point, all you are doing is enabling his continued infancy. Having his mother doing it is bad enough for him. Not to be cruel, cut him loose and live your life the best you can. Make being an example your last act as a good father. One day he may see what a good life looks like and try to have one for himself.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Ex told me she's pregnant. I blocked her.
Posted: 10/23/2018 4:54:59 PM
2ufo:

He's not being deceitful when he implies (i.e. says he'll call) that the relationship isn't totally gone when it's already been zombified?
...Like others here, I see misconduct on both sides


I see misconduct on both sides too. We was deceitful. No question about it. Still, the OP is the one seeking our advice and not his ex lover. If she posted, I'm sure I'd be singing a different aria. The advice that I am giving him is what I believe to be best for him and him alone based upon my knowledge of what happens to common men. Luckily, it is all second hand as I am childless.
2ufo:

and pity any child that emerges from either of their collective loins.


Who doesn't? The elephant in the room is that IT IS NOT HIS CHILD. No matter what a DNA test may say, he can never have any influence in its life. That is how the law works. It is best for the OP to never get attached to it. Obey the law obviously but make her PROVE it.
 
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