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 Author Thread: What is Creepy?
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 247 (view)
What is Creepy?
Posted: 7/14/2018 1:09:21 PM

I have seen this happen at bars and clubs. Sometimes a more attractive man may approach a woman the same way and she thinks it is flattering. I have also seen men that did nothing wrong get labeled as a creepy just because they have some similar physical features or mannerisms with another man that a woman didn't like for whatever reason.

In those cases they are labelled a creepy just for showing enough interest to say "hi". Pardon me for being alive...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
Posted: 5/23/2018 7:55:30 PM

I ask them for THEIR phone number. They disappear very quickly..

Even then you have to be careful...
I had her cell number and it back-tracked to Toronto/Windsor.
But then the "business trip" to Nairobi, Kenya came up...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 87 (view)
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/11/2018 9:32:57 AM
^^^ The women continually moan about guys with shirt open or shirt off pictures...
But the guys who do those pics while sporting 6-pack abs say IT WORKS...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 5/11/2018 6:39:18 AM

If it's only the first date, how would either party know it's this practical stranger sitting across from them they TRULY want anyway?

They met to see if there's any "chemistry" (or not) and THAT can only be felt in person.
At least the person wasn't written off because no "chemistry" was felt from the profile...

Women seem to like using the word "chemistry" when speaking of attraction a lot more than men...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 89 (view)
What do you think the norm is for dates resulting in sex?
Posted: 5/10/2018 10:46:23 AM

This is a topic I have thought about quite a bit. I know sex clouds a person's judgment, especially a woman's, but in this day and age it is not out of the norm to have sex on the first date.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone new?
Sometimes, that's common sense leaving your body...

That's when you get "the day after" regrets...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
Posted: 5/8/2018 10:59:39 AM
This is SO easy...

If they're very attractive and message me FIRST --- 99% that they're a scammer... LOL
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 968 (view)
Paying for a date
Posted: 5/8/2018 10:50:05 AM

I’ve never heard of the opposite scenario - a woman paying because her boyfriend made her dinner at his house. Why not?

Because when it's early in the relationship it can be viewed two ways...
...cute and romantic OR "cheap **stard" - all depends on the woman...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 182 (view)
Women making the first move...
Posted: 5/8/2018 10:45:16 AM

Posted By: Canelas19 on 5/7/2018 1022 AM
... Whenever I've made the first move or some chasing things went pretty bad, lack of interest, arrogance, entitlement, etc...

Hmmm... that's sounds exactly like what happens to guys on a regular basis...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 209 (view)
Would you like cheesiness with your whine?
Posted: 5/4/2018 7:41:43 PM

Now women are making it so much more difficult to talk to them. First there’s the single mother who has no time for men. Then there’s the women who nose is buried in her iphone all day. Online dating has given women so many options that they won’t even consider an average guy.

Yes - they do have many more options - and exactly why many are still single if they're also average.

NOBODY is ever going to check every box on their list of their imaginary "perfect man".
And anyone they want, may not want them - just like it happens to the rest of us.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/4/2018 7:33:02 PM

Tonite I have my 4th date with my new girlfriend. We are very sweet and affectionate with one another but we haven't used "the L-word" yet..

NRE - New Relationship Energy is always exciting and fantastic (been there...) :-)
But as others have advised, don't be too quick to use the "L-word" too soon.

It can definitely scare people off... but it's your call on how receptive she may be.
If her reply is "I LIKE you, but I really don't KNOW you..." you may have blown it.
Now - if she says it to YOU, I guess you have your reply ready... ;-)
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 170 (view)
Older men's expectations
Posted: 5/4/2018 10:28:28 AM

...and now 3 dates later we are Boyfriend and Girlfriend. She is the perfect girl for me,really sweet and affectionate,

So good to hear. It gives the rest of us hope... LOL
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 37 (view)
Not having much luck here? Maybe BICitis is to blame.
Posted: 4/30/2018 5:49:54 PM

The thing that I've noticed is that in General, women put much more effort into their profiles and men gutless effort, often putting "Ask" in the About Me section. The funny The funny thing is though that men tend to pay less attention to the writing in a profile and women tend to pay more attention so it's kind of a mismatch.

I notice the opposite, but then I AM looking at women's profiles more...
Lots of "just ask" or "Will fill in later.
And when I do "ask" they aren't much help then either.

Probably because my profile has more information and they've already "decided"...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 31 (view)
I dont know what I am doing wrong
Posted: 4/30/2018 9:32:13 AM

I'm a 22 year old, attractive white guy. Slim, blonde hair, blue eyes. I hooked up with them, and then they ghosted me shortly after.

At least you're getting laid. A lot of guys would kill to be in your shoes. You're too young and manpretty to be worrying about a wifey. I agree with the other users, chill. You'll find someone nice. You’ll find someone easy unlike the rest of us.

Agreed! Yup - it can get discouraging when every time you meet someone you think "this is the one". THAT may subconsciously project as desperate and clingy and you are totally unaware of it - but she may be getting that vibe. Also, you're 22 - you don't need to 'be married' by year's end!

Sure, the first night "meet and bed" is exciting, but invariably results in being just a one night stand.
Continue going out and meeting people but take some time before that first date and getting involved.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
Kinkiness in dating/relationships
Posted: 4/27/2018 2:12:07 PM
There is nothing wrong with Kink in a relationship...
as long as it is Safe, Sane and CONSENSUAL (SSC) to both partners.

On occasion you hear about the sexual mismatch of some people who pair up to form couples. You read about problems in relationships and many times sex or money are stated as the 2 main reasons for strife. When it’s sex, it often comes down to incompatibility of sexual wants and desires. How does this happen?

Many people are afraid to be open up and honestly communicate with what they like sexually (or that they even enjoy sex). Hell, on most dating sites like POF, "passionate" is about the only socially acceptable word allowed to indicate they may desire an active sex life - never mind indicating they may like "kinky sex".

So when dating, both are afraid the other will think them ‘abnormal’ if they like something beyond what they’ve read "is normal". So they say nothing, and proceed along in "vanilla" fashion. But if they don't bring these alternative activities up sometime in the early phases of dating - then when?

They're even more reticent as they get more involved - and they sometimes end up married without talking through this issue!! Then years later, the one "who's been going without" shall we say, will reach a point of "no more". When they finally say something, the other partner may be accepting, but on the other hand may react drastically....

It's better to sort it out early.
It seems you two have... :-)
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
Paying for Majority of Dates
Posted: 4/27/2018 1:48:02 PM

I thought this is a modern lady and doesn't want to feel obligated for a second date or feel she owes anyone, cool.
... there is a fine line between being a gentleman and a sucker.

I have found that when they INSIST on paying "their half" (even if it was just a coffee) it is because they've already decided there will NOT be a second date and they don't want you telling your friends you were suckered for having picked up the tab - and that makes her one of the good ones... but unfortunately she wants nothing more to do with you!

Then there's the ones who think nothing of using men for "free meals & drinks".
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 291 (view)
Posted: 4/27/2018 12:11:27 AM

Funny.....a few years ago when I was actually single and looking....
I was having the problem of finding a man my age that still enjoyed sex more than once a month! LOL

There has to be a way to corral the born again virgins together with the monks... LOL

For every woman who was singing praises that "Viagra saved our marriage/sex life"
there was another grumbling "damn Viagra - he wants to have sex now!"
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 73 (view)
POF = Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 4/26/2018 10:59:51 PM

I don't have any restriction, let alone age. My only restriction is a minimum number of characters for the first message. Apparent older guys are not interested in messaging me since not a single guy age 30 or above has sent me a message.

POF has a built-in age restriction.
Men cannot message anyone more than 13 years younger.

Not sure if it applies to women as well.
Maybe a 50 y/o Cougar can message a 35 y/o guy.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 14 (view)
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 4/26/2018 2:15:02 PM
Oddly enough, when I was in my mid-30's dating women of around the same age...

... it would be THEIR young teenage daughter or THEIR mother who was kinda
"more friendly" than the woman I was actually dating. Could never figure that out. LOL
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 289 (view)
Posted: 4/26/2018 1:47:35 PM
^^^ Sounds great CBGB77
When it rains, it pours!! LOL
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 71 (view)
POF = Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 4/26/2018 1:38:58 PM

Posted By: Kelley300698 on 4/26/2018 4:00:10 AM
No doubt that is frustrating, but in general you have a tremendous advantage. First, you quite attractive for your age...

And it's funny... the "Sugar Baby" looking for a "Sugar Daddy" appreciates that...

Meanwhile an "age appropriate" woman, even if not a Cougar, will put an age restriction
on her profile as to who can respond - as if 59 is OK, but 60 is "old"...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
What do you think the norm is for dates resulting in sex?
Posted: 4/25/2018 11:28:29 PM

I find that sex can cloud one's judgment and sometimes make you feel things for someone that you're truly just not compatible with (been there, done that).


But "how soon" is always going to be about the level of attraction both mentally/physically.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you "really" like someone?
Sometimes that's common sense leaving your body and you'll have sex on the first date (or the 2nd...) lol
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 64 (view)
POF = Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 4/25/2018 11:19:46 PM

Either someone will message you or respond to your message or they won't.

When I send a polite "hello" message with a little bit about me... they delete their profile! ??
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 138 (view)
old pictures!
Posted: 4/25/2018 11:31:17 AM

Your new guy is making you burn off the calories in the bedroom! :)

Sexercise is much more motivational than others forms... LOL
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 72 (view)
Have you ever stolen someone away from their partner?
Posted: 4/24/2018 11:46:26 PM

...almost all women will steal an exceptionally desirable man from his wife if they can

If he cheats on his wife WITH you, at some point he will also cheat ON YOU...

So, what do these women not understand?
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
Possibly getting into a FWB situation
Posted: 4/22/2018 10:40:18 AM
I get these ALL the time... Damn!! Be careful.
Could be first steps in a scam anytime they steer you away from POF messaging...
That also why her profile disappeared from POF...

Reverse search her pic to see if in comes up anywhere else. Google her name...
At some point she'll want you to sign onto a website with your Credit Card for "verification"
that you're safe before agreeing to meet. That's when your headaches begin...

Keep chatting, but be ready to drop it...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 277 (view)
Posted: 4/20/2018 9:36:44 AM

Thanks Soulmate,you hit the nail right on the head. That is the one thing I like about Okay C***D. They have those questions for people to fill out on their profile that lets you know where they are at with sexuality.

Agree with you CBGB and Soulmate...

Some women have put themselves "out to pasture" once they hit their 50's...
... and they're looking for men that have "retired" from sexuality like they have.

I can say I'm NOT going to be a good match for her... LOL
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 408 (view)
some low opinions of some postings, some even lower
Posted: 4/20/2018 9:23:47 AM
... back to the OP's original comment...

I don't send a lot of messages because may women's profiles in my area
have so many "restrictions" that few men would "qualify" to ever respond...

But those I did send a message to were never rude enough to reply "you gotta be f**king kidding me".
They just don't respond at all - which is kinda the same thing...

Those that do may answer back with a lukewarm response if they're not interested that implies
"go away and good luck in your search"...

And no... I am NOT sending rude ***hole kinda messages.
If anything, they're so polite and generic that they're unexciting....
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 34 (view)
Ladies. how many messages do you receive?
Posted: 4/19/2018 8:34:05 AM

Guys have answered that question many times in various threads about the topic.
A guy can write a message that's a literary piece of art, but it won't guarantee a response. Many guys have said they put a lot of thought into initial messages, but get zero responses. That's because guys and women do the same thing in OLD: If the person doesn't pass the attractive looking test in their picture, then it's delete on to the next one, regardless of the quality of message.

So very true.
Many profiles say "no pic, no response" or "will not respond to one-line messages".
So you have a pic and spend the time to craft a great message - and nothing...

Meanwhile, the last 2 women who contacted me:
"Good evening . How are you ?"
"Hey there. :)"

POF is basically like Tinder. It works really well for attractive people.
All you need is to be attractive. your profile and message don't mean anything.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 140 (view)
Does plenty of fish really work for you compared to other dating sites?
Posted: 4/16/2018 10:46:17 AM

As was mentioned before, there are a lot more men on these sites than woman. I woman can have one picture in her profile and no info. She'll still get messages. A guy can have a bunch of good pics and well written profile and get nothing.

Agreed. Also, like other dating sites POF never purges dormant old profiles.
When you do a Search, anyone after the 3rd page or so hasn't been online in a year or more.

There's no point sending them a message and expect a reply, but you don't know that.
You will only see when they were on last as an upgraded member though...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 30 (view)
Not having much luck here? Maybe BICitis is to blame.
Posted: 4/11/2018 9:56:21 AM
On many profiles people will have a long list of what THEY WANT...
But at the same time, say very little on what THEY OFFER to a relationship.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 132 (view)
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/8/2018 11:57:59 PM
^^^ Agree with some of the above.

Attraction may also be to "something new" or "someone different" than who usually appeals to them.

I think that's how this adage came about:
Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore. – Wilson Mizner
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 130 (view)
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/8/2018 10:11:48 PM
^^^^ There's guys in prison who manage to find someone who will marry them while incarcerated!
Now that must be the ultimate "bad boy" for the woman who wants one! lol
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 59 (view)
POF = Plenty of Fakes
Posted: 3/18/2018 10:40:04 AM

Her response was the she hoped to find someone for long term, and in furtherance of that aim she needed to appear “virtuous”.

Yup - they're all "born again virgins" on POF looking for Mr. Right - even the escorts! LOL
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
Saw this on someone's profile, if you click MeetMe, so see you they must upgrade..
Posted: 3/14/2018 9:53:14 AM
I get a lot of "Lomohonvely999 wants to meet you! Click below to view their profile"

Then when I search for their profile - they don't exist.
The "explanation" is that they must have deleted their profile.
Great - they "like" me - then panic and leave the site??
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
What is the strangest message you have received thus far on here?
Posted: 3/13/2018 4:30:11 PM

What is the strangest message you have received thus far on here?

What? Women on POF actually send messages?
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 77 (view)
Nude beaches- thoughts and experiences
Posted: 3/12/2018 10:29:50 AM

The neighbour cut all his rose bushes down and can see into my garden so I don’t go out there without clothes now.

Maybe he did that so he could see better... lol
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 14 (view)
How Many of your Online dates become FB friends?
Posted: 3/12/2018 10:24:32 AM

POF is not the place to make male friends, it's the place people go for sex or a relationship.

Very true - and for women too. It's "all or nothing"...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 20 (view)
Treading on eggshells in messages
Posted: 3/11/2018 3:44:54 PM

Feeling lonely = looking for sex?

All men should realize by now that..
"anything you say, can and will be used against you"...
solely at the discretion and interpretation of the other person.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
How likely would 52 y/o man be interested in 35 y/o woman?
Posted: 3/10/2018 7:28:42 AM

How likely would 52 y/o man be interested in 35 y/o woman?

Much more likely than the other way around... ;)
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 47 (view)
When's the last time you met someone in real life to date?
Posted: 3/10/2018 7:21:11 AM

Last year I was tempted to ask a woman from work out - but decided it just wasn't in mine or her best interest.

The cast of Saturday Night Live hit the dangers of dating in the workplace on the head. LOL
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 55 (view)
Casual sex and dating...
Posted: 3/7/2018 10:03:05 AM
Just be careful about trying to date someone at work guys...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 62 (view)
Never been married suddenly at 50 you wanna marry someone REALLY
Posted: 3/5/2018 8:48:04 AM

I feel people that were never married tend to be selfish.
They never have to think about anyone but themselves,

And people who got married, then divorced weren't thinking of themselves as well? You've done that twice?
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 74 (view)
Who Is Too Young or Too Old for You to Date?
Posted: 3/4/2018 3:30:51 AM

I know nothing of formulas ... I dated a man 19 years my senior for a while but we didn't have a lot in common to talk about ... dated a man exclusively for 4 years who was 8 years my junior ... we biked most evenings after work and skied or biked (depending on the weather) most weekends ... in the end, he was too controlling ... right now, I'm being a lot more selective!!! (meaning I haven't dated in almost a year!!) ... I doubt I'd date anyone + or - 5 or so years

You should still be selective, but personality types and interests have nothing to do with age relative to yours. You could have just as easily had the +19 man be controlling and the biker and the -8 guy with nothing in common. So much of that depends on their upbringing and background.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
How would the worlds greatest writers and comedians fare on POF?
Posted: 3/1/2018 5:41:51 PM

I may look at the photos, but I do pay attention to what a person writes.

Which pulls your interest more? Enquiring minds here want to know...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 601 (view)
Anybody get frustrated with not getting responses?
Posted: 3/1/2018 11:48:04 AM

If you're reasonably intelligent & interesting; can construct a pleasent, topical,
non-pervy opening message and still get no replies, you're probably an ugly P.O.S.

On-line Dating only confirmed what we also experienced IRL...
that the women who complain about "men are all about looks" are the same.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 51 (view)
Herpes Dating
Posted: 2/28/2018 7:10:43 PM

You can be a Virgin and have Herpes.
Many kids get HSV-1 when kissed by a relative.

Very true. But thankfully nobody regards them as lepers.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
How would the worlds greatest writers and comedians fare on POF?
Posted: 2/28/2018 7:08:39 PM

Sadly, OLD is more driven by looks alone than ever before.

The ladies have complained about that from day one.
Are you implying the women are just as bad now? Say it isn't so!! LOL
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
Thoughts on this profile, length.
Posted: 2/28/2018 3:14:04 PM
Profile length is a crapshoot entirely depending on who reads it...

If you don't have enough information, (the idea being to arouse interest)
you don't give them enough to latch onto, and at worst, someone will
accuse you of "hiding something" about you.

Have too much information in there and not only do they know what they
like about you, but also the items that didn't make their check list...
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 42 (view)
Experiences dating/being married to the horoscope star sign Cancer Male
Posted: 2/28/2018 11:47:04 AM
Zodiac Compatibility charts and personality types are all over the place.
They say these signs would be most compatible for me, but then list these "worst traits" for them.

Cancer (June 22nd to July 22nd)
• Clingy.
• Overly emotional.
• Sensitive.
• Needy.
• Moody.

Taurus (April 20th to May 21st)
• Stubborn.
• Lazy.
• Passive.
• Depressing.
• Selfish.

Scorpio (October 23rd to November 22nd)
• Angry.
• Rude.
• Dramatic.
• Frivolous.
• Capricious.

Capricorn (December 22nd to January 20th)
• Shallow.
• Cold-hearted.
• Stingy.
• Boring.
• Calculated.
Joined: 4/18/2010
Msg: 172 (view)
Splitting the bill for a weekend vacation?
Posted: 2/27/2018 11:24:55 PM
^^^ It's over and done - they've gone their separate ways... Not sure why we're still debating...
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