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 Author Thread: A delicate situation.....should I make the first move ??
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
A delicate situation.....should I make the first move ??
Posted: 9/19/2009 6:41:40 PM

Rule #1

Men PURSUE what they are interested in and find physically attractive.

That's it, the end.


OP, I wouldn't listen to this guys advice. I have had some great relationships where the woman made the first move.

If you like him, ask him out.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Presidential Candidates for 2012 and 2016
Posted: 9/10/2009 11:15:04 PM

Condie's book will release in 2011 and she will be our prezident in 2012.


Unless Condie's book has some revelations she won't get my vote after her atrocious job as a yes woman in the Bush administration.

If I'm still as mad at the GOP as I am now, I'd like to see Palin run for the entertainment value of a truly vacuous person. And I'd love to see Cheney paired with her and then ask him if he was on a separate ballot since (according to him) the VP isn't part of the executive branch.

If I've gotten over it, I'd like to see Romney give it another go as he actually made sense. I'd be interested in seeing a Romney/Clinton debate in 2016.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Obama disapproval on health care up to 52 percent
Posted: 9/9/2009 9:27:35 PM
I know it will not be easy, but to send us as a nation trillions more in debt, we need to SLOW down and concentrate on fixing it


Funny how conservatives are worried now about debt... where was that worry when Bush cut taxes during his warmongering?

I believe health care is a right and all Americans should be covered by health care. The only way that will happen is if there is a government option. Private companies are there for profit and I have nothing against that, but it also means that these companies won't cover everyone.

Tomorrow, we will get census numbers on how many Americans are uninsured. I wonder how big the number of uninsured will be...
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
I'm textually frustrated!!
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:57:19 AM

because they are darn TEXT MESSAGING me on my number...!!! :)

(as opposed to actually calling me, I mean).

**cue more scratching of head and grumbling now from Krissy :) **


Wow... ok, maybe the guy should just call you but maybe he is *gasp* busy. Maybe he's respecting your privacy as some people want to meet face to face first. Maybe he is insecure. Maybe he is married. Maybe he gets bad reception and is annoyed when he calls people and has to constantly repeat himself.

But I have to ask WHY you don't call him?

If it's that important to you then call instead of not responding to his texts (which is a bit childish and a turn off in my book.)
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Is Porn OK in a marriage?
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:51:06 AM

OP, so you chose porn over your wife? How sad

No it's not ok in a marriage if a partner is viewing alone as that's cheating.


Wow... so if I went to a rated R movie with a sex scene without a gf I'd be cheating? That's absurd.

OP ~ watching porn during a marriage is fine. What is NOT fine is getting to the point in a relationship (married!?!) where you didn't know this was a deal breaker for her.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
If a guy gives you his number, should I call him? To all the guys!
Posted: 8/29/2009 7:52:32 PM
Call... it's really is that simple :)
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Most red ink ever: $9 trillion over next decade
Posted: 8/29/2009 7:22:58 AM

The Republicans have sent us on a downward spiral...along with the Democrats..Everyone who has had power in the last 40 years has helped to make the mess we are in today..I see no way out.


Actually that's not quite true... the Clinton administration made the effort and were getting results. Did they benefit from an extremely healthy economy? Yes.

I do blame Bush 2 for cutting taxes when his priority should have been eliminating the deficit and then keeping (and expanding) tax cuts once it was clear America was going to war.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
best thing to do... is to do nothing
Posted: 8/29/2009 6:46:36 AM

In my opinion, and its just my opinion, most women here just want to be chased.


Agreed. I once chatted up a girl at a bar. We had a great conversation and seemed to click. I asked for her number which she gave. A few days later, I called and left a message. No response, but we had a lot of fun so I called again a few days after that and left a message. No response. I move on.

FOUR months later, I run into this girl and she acts all pouty because she was going to call me after my 3rd call.

I laughed, shook my head, and went back to my friends.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Strictly platonic... but he wants to date them
Posted: 8/29/2009 6:41:53 AM

I do, however, find myself feeling jealous when he admits that he would like to date some of his female friends. He says that he won't right now because he wants to see where things will go with me


I suppose context may be needed but any guy who admits this is an idiot.


I've noticed that he speaks to me a bit differently when they are around. He won't call me baby. He'll cut the conversation short....


It's good to trust your gut...
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
why wandering away?
Posted: 8/29/2009 6:31:30 AM
People not returning calls is kind of the time honored way of tacitly rejecting someone. Granted it's usually along the lines of 3 dates rather than 5 months but I believe the core reason is the same - a non-response rejection is easier and so the choice a good number of men (and women) make.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
not exactly a sex question but it is physical
Posted: 8/29/2009 6:22:27 AM
Braces are just fine... in fact it could be the source of a fun joke and "reliving your high school days".

Don't worry and go out and have fun!
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Men receiving oral
Posted: 8/29/2009 5:03:35 AM
It doesn't matter to me... as long as she likes going down on me and does it on a regular basis.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dating in the Dark, men vs. women after they've seen each other
Posted: 8/18/2009 3:40:03 PM

That show is making me think of a bar, shady, and four double shots of Jager.


HazelRose that was you??? I think you still have my cell phone...
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
turned off or challenged
Posted: 8/18/2009 3:33:03 PM
^^^ wow... be careful of overusing the caps and asterisk button and don't forget to take your meds.

OP ~ first get in on the bet and then make it happen.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Oprah's trip to the Bunny Ranch
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:58:43 PM

If you're going to pay for sex, don't go to a brothel unless you don't mind knowing there was someone there an hour earlier. Legalizing prostitution will never work if regulation is involved. Few women are going to be willing to put their real names in a government database (which would be a public record).


It would only be public record if they were public employees. As long as they don't become public employees or take their business to the stock market (in which case they would need to report to their stockholders). A regulated prostitution would work there is just no political drive to get it done. A good question - which would the US legalize first, prostitution or pot?
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
First date
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:53:34 PM
Well, when they contact you, why don't you suggest meeting at a coffeehouse or a bar (you might want to give a few options that you prefer in the first date section of your profile rather than leaving it so general. That's what it's there for after all)

If they insist on something different put them on ignore.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
3 somes
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:58:19 PM
Wow, idoc & areyou.... what very narrow, narrow minds you have.

The OP asked a reasonable questions and you both revert to your suburbian white picket fence mentality. Have fun in the 50s, I'm sure it will work out for you.

OP - Sounds like you got the answer you are looking for from your boyfriend already. It takes a lot of communication to keep a situation like yours going but as you already stated, you are young and enjoying life.

If you really want to bring a woman into the mix, talk about it with your boyfriend. Some guys actually do not like that, but it's nice of you to offer that to him.

Be safe, use protection, have fun.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
should I have patience?
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:44:23 PM

He is also a bit of an introvert and doesn’t make much effort with many people even at times his own family, so he isn’t your regular guy.


Do you really want to be with a guy who doesn't talk and you'll always be guessing what he is thinking?

Every time you talk with him (from the examples you gave), it's a vague talk just to talk. Clearly he is not into that. I'd suggest having a specific reason when you contact him i.e. tickets to a concert or game or something. Have a purpose and ask him out.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Wish me luck.....
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:39:21 PM
OP the fact is you are bitter about him not choosing you and focusing on a rather innocuous phrase of "wish you luck".

It hurts to get rejected but he was a nice guy about it and to tell you the truth, he probably was wishing you luck. I know if I go out with a woman, have a pretty good time but don't feel chemistry, I wish them well. Why should I want them to be unhappy?
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Taking the Hint
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:25:29 AM
Take the hint...

If you call and she doesn't return your call, feel free to call or text again. After that leave it. Pestering is definitely a no-no.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Palin resigns! Do you think she will run for President!
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:29:44 AM

What McCain did was wrong.


Huh? How so? She could have said no... If McCain did anything wrong it was capitulating to his party and asking a running mate that did not reflect his own views and acumen.


She really does represent the average American. I come from a family of teachers.


I come from a family of teachers as well and Palin does not represent me or any other average American that I happen to know.

I hope she doesn't run because it clear that she is not able to handle a national platform. If she is smart, she will write her book, get money, and then disappear from the spotlight.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
At what point would you want to know?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:10:51 AM
As the person above suggested, if it's important to you put it in your profile. But I'd also emphasize that you are looking for a relationship. Some people will read kink in a profile and decide that it also means promiscuity.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
just wonderin...whats up
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:08:34 AM
The reason guys are dumping you isn't because of sex.

I've had sex on a first date, I've waited for a few months. If I am interested in the girl then I go with the flow.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
coming to my home?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:06:14 AM
I'd be suspicious of any guy who suggests that they come to your house for a first date. If they say they just want a cup of tea then what they really mean is a cup of tea and sex.

If they really want a cup of tea there are public places for that...
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is there something I'm missing?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:03:51 AM
If the guy breaks a date... well it's rude but things come up and it's worth overlooking.

If they breaks multiple dates... well then he's either a player or your not a high priority or both.

In any case, next time I'd tell him thanks but you've moved on.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Best Place You've Ever Been?
Posted: 7/25/2009 7:35:43 AM
Most Beautiful - Petra Jordan
Most Romantic - Edinburgh Scotland
Most Interesting - Cappadocia Turkey
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Contact prior to imminent holiday departure
Posted: 7/24/2009 1:55:02 PM
OP this is very strange. Now I have always known that travel is an aphrodisiac so maybe these guys are overachievers...
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
BONDAGE,AM I MISSING OUT????
Posted: 7/24/2009 1:48:42 PM
BDSM, in it's generic term that has many different terms everything from teasing with a feather to hardcore pain/humiliation....

I think you are definitely missing out though it's important to talk with your partner so you can each share your interests and curiosities . While it may take away from spontaneity, it will do wonders for the trust and bringing you closer together.

I remember the first time I was helping a gf undress and I realized I could twist the shirt so her wrists were bound together. I've been hooked ever since.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Your personal opinion
Posted: 7/24/2009 12:53:03 PM
Definitely true... back in my early 20's when my friends and I were going out every night, your question was brought up and encapsulated by the phrase "looks fade". Now that I'm older and wiser, I realize that looks don't necessarily fade but it was a mindful point.

If one of our friends was dating a b*tch or extremely high maintenance and he asked us what we thought, we'd say looks fade.

But looks certainly play a big part. After all we are talking about more than friends and thus physical attraction is essential just not the center.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Worst Date. Ever.
Posted: 7/24/2009 12:45:49 PM
Maybe this is why nearly every guy asks to see me naked on webcam before setting an actual date? Its logical, right? Has nothing to do with being horndogs?


Ah... thank you Elsbethlett! This made me laugh and laugh


OP your 'friend' should definitely be called to task and/or deleted. That wasn't very nice to give you the heads up.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
satisfaction
Posted: 7/24/2009 12:42:52 PM
My thoughts about this OP is that you are simplifying things...

According to your post, sex is either A. two people are linked in mind and spirit as well or B. than sex for the sake of sex where two people are out to satisfy themselves.

I would say between those two extremes there are a hundred variations within.

And dammit... I'm willing to explore all of them

 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
The Deep Spot
Posted: 7/23/2009 12:06:53 PM
The A spot? I thought it was called the "eehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" spot
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Hook me up with the cuter friend in your pic (seriously)
Posted: 7/22/2009 1:49:16 PM
It's why I took my picture down. Woman kept asking me about what was next to me.

Sadly it was a glass of beer. Curse you delicious Fat Tire!!!
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Exuding Sexuality...What do I do?
Posted: 7/22/2009 1:47:55 PM

Some guys ditch me after finding out that I actually am not gonna give it up quickly...


Well, everyone has that problem at some point (or at least women)


And others won't even try to get to know me because of the amount of sexuality I supposedly exude


I find this strange... I haven't ever met anyone who I thought exuded sexuality and thought, "well I shouldn't date her..."

Though it may not seem like it OP, you are young. Most guys your age are looking for some fun and not necessarily something serious.

In a few years, I'm sure you'll find someone and he'll appreciate your exuding of sexuality. Just keep being involved in activities you enjoy and you'll be fine.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
surprise inside...
Posted: 7/22/2009 1:43:17 PM
Considering I once broke up with a woman because she voted for W, getting a tattoo of a talented pedophile would be a reason not to call back.

Unless she had a good reason... like getting drunk with Elvis Costello and losing a bet or something.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Exuding Sexuality...What do I do?
Posted: 7/22/2009 1:35:42 PM
Well you have great eyes OP, since eyes are windows to the soul... wear sunglasses.

I'm a little confused by
how should a woman like me handle these situations?


Are you talking about guys wanting to have sex with you? Keep the date at a public area, keep the first kiss to something quick and chaste, don't sleep with a guy on the first date.

Are you talking about guys shying away from you? Ask them out.

Oh and you should stop being a Steelers fan. Go Bears!
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What the f@!k happened?
Posted: 7/21/2009 7:43:43 PM
He sounds like an idiot and perhaps unstable. I would let your friends know about this guy. That way if he shows up at more of your hangouts they can tactfully get you away from him or not so tactfully make it clear to him that's he's not wanted.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
is he bi?
Posted: 7/21/2009 7:37:48 PM
When I dated a woman who was bi one of my questions was if she could be in a monogamous relationship. She said yes and I have no reason to believe that she cheated during our relationship.

The penis pic is probably the most troubling thing because since it's on his phone it probably isn't whack off material. He might be in contact with a guy or maybe it's HIS penis and he's sending it to a guy (or girl). Either way, he may be flirting or seeing someone else.

Of course your friend has issues with trust (as seen by poking around her bf's phone and computer) and maybe she should look to herself as well.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 6:47:37 AM
I was at an international job fair and there are some countries that were only hiring married couples. On the 2nd day, I was having lunch with a few people I had met there and we were talking about the different places. After observing that one of the countries only hired couples, I turned to the woman next to me and asked, "Will you marry me?"

The woman hesitated, smiled, and reached for my hand. I thought she was being silly and continuing my joke, but then I realized she was being serious The rest of lunch was rather awkward.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Would you take it as a compliment or an insult?
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:59:43 PM
It may not have been a tactful comment OP but it should have been taken as a compliment.

You don't say how the rest of the date went... he might be that fragile or simply not interested.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
How to tell a man you don't like something in bed
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:38:40 PM
I'm pretty darn good at giving oral.. I've had compliments from partners and love to hear the ooh of surprise the first time I go down on someone.

Sooo... when I dated a woman who didn't like getting oral (For the record the first time she let me know as I was kissing my way down her stomach, she clasped my head, whispering no, kissing me deeply, flipping me to my back and a got on for the ride). Later she told me it didn't do much for her. I was convinced she just didn't have anyone good. So she after a week or so I convinced her to let me go down on her.

I made sure the lighting was just right and her favorite album was playing. I took my time, whispering my admiration at various points to let her know that I thought she was sexy as hell. I gave her a full body massage so she wouldn't be tense and teased her to make her want me. When I finally went down between her legs, my tongue and fingers moved to the rhythm of a divine plain that is rarely heard of outside of epic tales of love. It was as if I was playing a effing stradivarius violin there was such sweet, sweet music.

Afterwards, she said it was nice and that I didn't really need to go down on her again.

My point, OP, is that if it doesn't do much for you then just let him know... he might not believe you but if you are just clear, upfront, and honest he'll come around.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Kissing in the Morning
Posted: 7/19/2009 6:35:58 PM
I suppose it depends on where the kisses are....

 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:44:24 PM
OP ~ You need to be talking to your friends and family. I would guess that you are in a pretty emotional state (with him leaving and the loss of your baby). The last thing you need is an ass who plays mind games and might, just might take advantage of this moment to worm his way back.

Make sure you have emotional support and make sure you keep this guy out of your life.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Flirting or Being Nice?
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:04:44 AM
Back when I had a job in high school, I'd sometimes say goofy stuff. I once told a woman that "her visage fed my soul." Another time to another woman, her smile lightened an otherwise dreary day. Sometimes I'd present the food in an overly formal manner.

I did these things to be a bit silly at a job that was boring.

HOWEVER (and this is the most important point OP), I did that stuff to women I thought were cute.

So even if he wasn't overtly flirting, he clearly thought you were easy on the eyes. If you like him, go back and say you want his buns on your burger... or you know, "hi".
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
fitting me in?
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:59:13 AM
As the poster above said, your profile is a little fishy... you are married but he cannot be?

Plus you were setting up a "date" and you are complaining about the fact that it would be only 15 minutes but you aren't complaining that he is making the date AT HIS HOUSE?!?

Hmmmm.... Sounds like he had reason to expect something casual
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
After a first date, is it okay to email rather than call?
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:54:25 AM
While an email is nice, a phone call is definitely the way to go. Remember dating isn't about being efficient, it's about chemistry.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Your idea of a nice/se xy outfit . . (guys)
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:44:53 PM
It's nice to show effort but it's also good to keep the context of the date in mind.

I once went to a baseball game and then to a club she liked for drinks. She wore these crazy high heels. Of course after the game there were no taxis and we walked the 4 blocks so then she complained about the walking
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:41:04 PM
I think your friend was throwing his fantasy out there hoping you'd bite. Probably since he is getting married. What I'd like to know is what you replied back to him... It seems like it would be an awkward thing to throw into a conversation.

"Hey I'm getting married!"
"Congratulations! That's great, the two of you make a wonderful couple."
"You know... I've always fantasized about you."
"Oh... really... um... I've always wondered... what the population of Bolivia is..."
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
SECOND DATE - What should i wear?
Posted: 7/17/2009 7:07:11 AM
Good luck OP!

Like others, go with C. Save the hoody for further down the line or an outdoor date.
 chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Should I keep her as a friend?
Posted: 7/17/2009 6:59:17 AM
It is a lot easier for her than for you. She knows she has someone to go out with if she wants. If she's feeling flirty she knows you'll like it. If she feels reserved then she already told you she just wants to be friends.

I'd say move on. There are a lot of GREAT people in the world. Why be friends with someone that you'll just pine over? Unless you work with her or are in some situation that you frequently see her, just move on.
 
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