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 Author Thread: Why can't single dads get dates???
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/27/2013 11:39:33 PM
^^^^^^^^ NOPE it is the single most important piece of information for a potential date/mate
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/25/2013 12:54:13 PM
Really it's not about getting dates .......anyone can get dates

I date fairly regularly .......but most times I go in knowing it will be social and most likely short term
I do enjoy dating like that .....to a point
But 90% of the human race wants more than that
Its just tougher for Single parents because.......

It's about finding someone that meshes with both you and you child(ren)
That's the hard part
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
confusex
Posted: 2/24/2013 1:03:39 PM
What's the Hurry

What happened to "If a guy calls you before three days after a first date kick him to the curb"
Now its " If he doesn't text in five minutes kick him to the curb"

The "Hurry" is why relationships don't last
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
AS A SINGLE DAD HOW DOES A MAN COPE WITH ISSUES OF CHILD NEGLECT FROM THE MOTHER
Posted: 2/22/2013 6:45:34 PM
Never Bad mouth your Ex

Just tell them you don't know

Give your child every opportunity to be in touch with the mother

As they grow older They will see two things .......Mom didn't make the effort, ...... dad wasn't the issue

Been there done that
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Why can't single dads get dates???
Posted: 2/22/2013 6:33:04 PM
When I became a single (custodial) dad, I thought a single mom would be just the ticket.

And although I chatted/wrote/met quit a few (initiation both ways) when the found out I had custody it was a No Go

To hard to mesh a schedule
To hard to get the children on both sides on board
And the most prevalent,....I have a lot on my plate, I need to be number 1 and I don't want to compete with your child
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Need advice
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:55:19 PM
This one is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO easy

Kick him to the curb before he lies about something really bad or gets his fingers in your finances
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:19:11 PM
The pendulum does swing both ways.

Like other single guys here, I didn't even ask for support. My sons conseller said, after talking with my sons mother, that if I was awarded support his mother would never see our son again. I think at that time in my sons life it would have been devastating for him to lose all contact.
Now eight years later, She sees him on occasion, sometimes they have fun sometimes she cusses him out and tells him he's not her son. This year I bought the stuff to make a cake for his birthday and because she has no money offered to let her bake the cake, she said 'sure if you pay me $50'. I think that says it all!!!!

deadbeat isn't just a monetary distinction in my opinion
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Kids & age?
Posted: 5/26/2012 4:50:27 PM
Personally, if you say your have kids and someone is to lazy to ask their ages they are to lazy for me to hang out with............
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
If a woman is into you......
Posted: 3/1/2012 5:33:08 AM
Body Language is the boss

Even if a woman has trepidation, or anxieties, orstraight up shyness, if she has intrest her body will respond to you (unless you come at her like a runaway locomotive.

The subtle things, touching her finger to make a point in conversation, touching her elbow or small of the back as you negotiate doorways and such. If she pulls away from your touch ....... it isn't going to happen

If you are several dates in and you make your hand available when walking and you hands touch and she pulls away ....again ...its not happening
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Have kids, but not looking for a father for them...
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:52:37 PM
I'm a single dad, the women I date don't meet my kid until at least a deep friendship has solidified. At the time that meeting my kid is discussed I tell them that in all areas of general respect and obedience treat my kid as you would yours. If you are relaxed on the enforcement of manners and respect, I will enforce it anyway so don't tell him its OK. Anything else talk to me so we have a united front.

If I date a woman with children I won't socialize with the children until a deep friendship has solidified, and when she is ready to introduce me to them I tell her, dont introduce me to your children UNLESS you want me to treat them as my own. They will obey and treat me (and you) with respect.. All children(combined) will all be treated equal and will participate in each others lives. Any issues we discuss to provide a united front.

I am also always willing to sit down the childrens father and discuss these things as well. A united front amongst all parents just makes life easier for the child

It usually goes 50/50
Some women truly don't want you to say squat to their children, which is fine I'll go my merry way. Some are terrified that you would consider a sit down with their x. And other mothers love it
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 151 (view)
 
How common is it for guys to like both really big boobs and really small boobs?
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:09:50 PM
AWoman is a package deal, nothing need be perfect if the package pleases !!!!

It is truly a miricle that a creation so lovely can come in so many cool shapes and sizes
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 89 (view)
 
What's Your Number?
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:52:14 PM
I could care less what you did in your life previos to being with me.

and don't ask questions you don't want the answer to...... a direct question gets a direct answer
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Natural and hairy women?
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:01:49 PM
If she makes me happy she can trim it anyway she likes

And I would hope that would go both ways
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Guys: When the ex-wife remarries...
Posted: 2/29/2012 3:49:46 PM
maffers : One of the blessings in my life was having two dads and I never called them anything but dad till the day they each died

Venomac : One of the things I worry about the most is that my son may go out into the world never living in the home of a blissful family (married or not), not seeing how a man and woman should interact with each other under the same roof.

I don't bring every date around but am not afraid to let him experiance those interactions. Lord knows he knows how bad it can be already.

Also as to putting your life aside for your children.....If you stop your life how are they going to know how to experiance the pursuit of happiness
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 54 (view)
 
What is Love?
Posted: 2/29/2012 1:04:29 PM
You should look up a book called "The Artful Science of True Love"

It goes into great depth in this area, from human chemistry, to animal hardwiring, to socio & ecomomic influences and More
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Does dating really mean sex with no committment?
Posted: 1/5/2009 12:09:37 PM
Dating is a social exersice of humans interacting with each other without labels. It is the lets see period; are we attracted to each other, do we have fun with each other, can we stand each other friends, can we spend 24 hrs without killing each other, and yes even are we sexually compatible.

People don't come with guaruntees, we need that time to discover each other without feeling obligated to someones emotional wellbeing. I think the key is communication, what one wants from dating, and what the ground rules of achieving it should be established early in the dating process

On the other side of the coin (there is ALWAYS an other side) I have gotten more than one letter on this site that said to the effect of.................."Am interested in your profile, but noticed you are listed as dating. If you can commit to seeing noone else after our first date and can progress to engagement/marriage in 6 monthes please respond, otherwise don't bother"
I can't see how anyone could possibly build a health lasting relationship under that auspicious. A relationship is not legos, all the pieces do not snap into place perfectly. It is more like a sculpture, you shave a little here, add a little there until it makes your soul feel right
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 121 (view)
 
Athletic or A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:01:39 PM

I never, EVER judge a woman by her appearance, while 95% of all women judge me by my appearance


AHHHHH The Sweet Smell of Delusion and Denial
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Do guys really like all that romantic stuff?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:56:25 AM
Such a Dangerous topic...........

There is a difference in enjoying romance, jumping through hoops to get a girls attention, and being a romantic. And many of the actions are the same.

I love long walks in nature, even by myself......... with a female companion is just "bonus baby"

I have candles around my house ....... mostly for when my rugrat and I have chili But will readily light them up if a lady enjoys them.

I am way into flowers, herbs, and other cool plants, I think orchids are the coolest thing since peanutbutter. But I seldom give cut flowers, I am guilty of using them to get a lady's attention though, and if she sticks around she will end up with some of the most beautiful live plants growing.

I open doors, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, pull out chairs ect ......ALWAYS
but because it is mannerly and proper

And YES I listen to Bread, Sinatra, and JMM, Coletraine, Beethovan, and Tchychosky, just before
Toby Keith, Joe Diffie, Dueling Banjos, Eminem, Bagpipe music, Def Lepard, and Judas Priest

I dont consider any of that romantic.............................................

Romantic is something done in the moment to express how a woman is making you FEEL in that period of time.

Writing a letter , song, or a poem that expresses your fellings towards your lady

Singing a song to a woman that is germane to the moment.

Spending the afternoon making a gormet meal to enjoy together

Making the world go away for a day ....................whatever it takes , because you what to be with them and them only.

Making an effort to try something not to your tastes because she enjoys it

But I am still a guy, and will always need my belching, farting, drinking, hanging out in underwear moments from time to time
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 116 (view)
 
Athletic or A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:12:07 AM
Remember the FRIDGE of the Chicago Bears

420 #........42 " vertical leap, ran the 40 in 4.6 seconds.........Ran the stairs of Soldier Field daily.................................OVERWEIGHT .......YES...........ATHLETIC.........YES

I am overweight for sure, But I can make a case for athletic as well, I can still put my palms on the floor, do the splits, backbends ect..........and I shinney up scaffolding and 40 ft ladders with regularity and ease.

Its all perspective ........I went out with a woman from a dating site that said she was athletic..........AND SHE was ....she could have ripped my arms off and beat me with the bloody stumps. She was also overweight

PERSPECTIVE
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
A question for men who have children
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:50:53 AM
I don't assume as it is very ambiguous, but.........

I have had women write and say "didn't you bother to read my profile I don't want a man with kids........I can have my own"
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Can you trust if she goes to clubs alone?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:48:40 PM
Would never be a problem ...............

If I don't think I can trust a woman I wouldn't start anything with her.

If I am wrong I'd much rather find out at the beginning of the relationship.....than a year down the road because I've kept my thumb on her because I'm afraid.

The woman I want to hang with has her interests, and I have mine........At this time in our lives the odds they are identical are non exsistent. Do your thing, I'll do mine and we'll share the common things and/or develope new ones.

I just don't get the whole jealousy thing
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Attracting the wrong type of guy...is it my fault?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:30:21 PM
Well ..........

1) The guy that doesn't notice the attributes that God gave you to attract our attention isn't going to be much of a man. BUT if he isn't evolved enough to carry on a conversation without bringing it up ...........he's not much of a catch.

2) Suggestion be more specific in your interest section(eg.....horses and dogs vs animals). I raised Arabs for years so I check from time to time to see who in my area is into horses. I am a sculptor so I put "artist " in to see what artists are in the area. You should get more responses in tune with your social/intellectual level

You are living in "Horse City USA" there should be a line for an attractive, intelligent horsewoman with goals. I know there was when I lived there ........a long one!!

Lastly an attractive woman will always attract an inordinate amount of jerks, just weed them out. If it was easy none of us would be here
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 125 (view)
 
Red heads...
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:02:15 PM
Although I don't discriminate for hair color...............

If backed into a corner I would have to admit red hair and freckles are my preference.

I don't know if it is the Gaelic/Celtic Blood (I also have a thing for the color plaid HAHA) Or if the red hair and a smattering of freckles across the skin brings forth that earthy "spawned of nature" wild child image in my concious.

But one thing I Do know.......... The color God gave you is usually the one that works the best for you. I don't like red hair SOOO much that I would ever ask a woman to color her hair. Be Real
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Tool boxes what smell like womit?
Posted: 5/18/2008 9:35:19 PM
And I always thought that smell was from having to work early Sat after a LONG Friday night
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:35:32 PM
I gues that's Your Loss
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Giving your height with heels - Maybe a good idea?
Posted: 5/10/2008 7:33:27 PM
Fragile psyches
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Help-- he's TOO attractive!
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:48:21 AM
[quoe]over one hundred and one favorites on his list .... lol

Just means your right, women find him attractive. Oh and guess what ... he looked over 100 other girls and picked you.

Seems so simple. What is the worst thing that could happen ..... that it doesn't work out?
NO, that you spend a few thousand nights wondering if it could have

Get to living!!!!
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Women who wiggle when they walk..
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:37:15 AM
The way a woman walks will grab my attention in a heartbeat. I love when a woman walks like a lady, straight up and squared away. It allows the contrast of the movement of your curves against the straight line of your body that I find very beautiful. (Must be the artist coming out)

Also a woman that has a natural sway and wears skirts/dresses.... Sensual. The Fabric siding along the hip and legs ..... its like the breeze or the undulation of a ship, maybe thats why sailing vessels are all female . (I guess thats the poet in me)

Oh and lets not forget those women that have that natural "figure 8" walk, that just mezmerizes a man. Those hips on a swivel, seemingly independent of each other. It envokes the primal urge, and personal bodily ingury(tripping over sidewalk cracks, rearending vehicles ect....) (Has to be the Man in me)

OH Yes, by the way WE LOVE THE WIGGLE (I'm just long winded)
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Giving your height with heels - Maybe a good idea?
Posted: 5/10/2008 10:01:26 AM
Alot of women do put this on their profile

As for me I don't care ... years ago I dated a girl that was 6'4" all legs and loved 3, 4, 5" heels ... some nights I'd have to stand on the step above just to kiss her goodnight.
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Can men and women be friends?
Posted: 5/10/2008 9:50:41 AM
Of Course they can.....

But why is sexual attraction and friendship mutaully exclusive.

I have several female friends that I find very attractive. They know it because I've told them I find them attractive. They also know I will never approach them in a sexual manner unless they come to me and tell me they want a change in statis. In fact women that were not "my type" often become more attractive as friendship grows. This doesn't mean suddenly I can't hang out without trying to get her ito bed.
The closer you get to a person on a personal level the greater chance of sexual attraction.

Just because a female friend a man finds attractive on a sexual level gets married doesn't stop the attraction. He just compartmentalizes the attraction the same as he would a moviestar or a model ........just for athstetic appreiciation.

People that don't believe a man and woman can be friends
a) don't understand friendship
b) can't or don't want to separate emotion and sex (or doesn't understand the difference
c) don't understand and/or come to grips with their own sexuality
d) don't realize that friendship IS A RELATIONSHIP

Emotional closeness both transends and promotes sexual desire. People just have to be open with each other and themselves on what they want out of a relationship and what they are willing to give up or accept to keep the relationship viable.

Sometimes that requires giving up the sexual part of a relationship to enjoy the emotional and social relationship.

By the way ........Female friends make the best girlfriends and sexual partners as they are looking out for your best interests and want to please you as much as they do themselves.
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Help-- he's TOO attractive!
Posted: 5/10/2008 8:58:02 AM
My be corny ........ but it's true


He's just a guy......................standing in front of a girl.........................


OOOOO I just got goosebumps
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Help-- he's TOO attractive!
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:31:18 PM
What do you do ??

Just enjoy it.

I'm a big guy, with less than GQ looks and I don't have Trumps bank account, but every now and again a beauty surprises me. I stopped calling the optomitrist, and decided to enjoy the delusion. You only go around the planet once.

PS... My stepdad had every girl 16 to 80 drooling over him and he got upset everytime my Mom went on a hardcore diet
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Met a girl who lives out of town...need real advice!
Posted: 5/6/2008 3:50:01 PM
Asking a girl out and driving 4 hours one way to see her should give her a good indication your interested.
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Dont understand.. Help?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:38:26 PM
Not that it works this way all the time .......

But a friend of mine and his wife were FWB in college. It was mutual they wanted to concentrate on school. Last year of college she said it was time to step it up. He said things are great why change a good thing. After six months of discussing this she cut him off (COMPLETELY) and started dating. Two months later we met for a drink and he was "God I love her, how am I going to get her back." In two weeks they were a couple and are married now.

Guys have an low threshold for comfort, and don't sweat the details. Sometimes you have to hit us over the head
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Domestic Violence
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:27:10 PM
My exwife was an abuser, and like you I stayed way too long in the relationship. I finally left because I could stand for my son to see the attacks and it was escalating to the point where I was afraid I would be able to take it and would hurt her getting away. And even working 2500 miles away, I was doing phone councilling, begging for her to get help, and supporting her 100%. It took her running and hiding with my son (for 3 years) to teach me to hate.

When it was over I asked myself the same questions. For the longest time certain phrases and mannerisms would totally put me off with a woman (a few still do) It took me a long time to want to date.

You will trust again, life will be good again. But it will never be the same, you will be more wary, and more atuned to your sense of self preservation. You have to force yourself to get out and do stuff for a little while but it gets easier every month.
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Why Has the Price of Food Shot Up and What Does It Portend?
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:05:25 PM
People will walk more ....eat less.......and live longer

Local manufacturing and agriculture will rise again. The neighborhood will become an important of daily life again

Smart money invests in solar, wind, and alcohol

the oil industry will for the most part die like the steel industry .....for being shortsided and stubborn and would rather put twenty in the pocket today than twenty milloin in
ten years.......because they have reponsiblities only to todays shareholders and not tommorrows

in twenty years there will be a huge housing shortage and the housing/constuction market will bloom again .......................ect.................

And the cycle continues as it has since the Industrial Revolution
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How long should people search on a dating site
Posted: 4/23/2008 8:45:09 PM
Until you succeed.........online or elsewhere

Unless you haave a really nice rock you want to climb under
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 172 (view)
 
Is it just a guy thing or am i being a prude?????
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:24:58 PM
It isn't a guy thing .....it is a human thing. I have seen and heard this from women as well as men.

Oft times male friends know when a guy is "gone" for a girl because suddenly he won't talk about his dating life anymore.

Everyone has a past, and until you find someone you have real feelings for sometimes one doesn't feel the need for that level of privacy
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/12/2008 9:55:00 PM

This is not a committed relationship. I would be equally floored. How would you feel about your *husband* reading your email?


Without asking......... equally as upset.

Most times, when I was married, after perusing my mail I would had it off to my wife so she had the option of reading it. If I was out of town and it looked pressing she would call and ask if it should be opened.

To many are missing the point, it is not about reading my mail, or going into my wallet it is doing it WITHOUT permission.

The person you are in a relationship should get THE MOST RSPECT offered, not the least. You don't disrespect strangers by sneaking into their email WITHOUT permission, why would you do it to the person who lives to honor you.

Privacy is such a basic right that, like breathing , our forefathers didn't think they had to put it on paper.
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/12/2008 1:44:03 PM
I don't condone snooping,but secrective behaviour breeds distrust.
If this is a long term relationship,there should be no secrets that could hurt the other party.
Sounds like there needs to be some major communication started.


The secritive behavior in the action of the snoop, and it shows disrespect and a lack of trust.

There is a huge difference in Hey Hon, who do you email??? (Communication)
AND
Ransacking someones private communications WITHOUT ASKING (Disrespect)

Within the confines of our relationships we need permission for the following:

Private Communication ... Wheither via phone, email, mail ect.
Wallet/Purse.... NOONE Should open with out EXPRESS Permission
Bank Accounts..... All relationships need Three Accounts ....His, Hers, and the house
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
wondering about acorn flour
Posted: 2/12/2008 12:58:56 PM
We always shelled and soaked the acorns overnight, rinsed them thuroughly, and re soak them for a second night. Then dry them in the sun and then slow roast them.

Grind them twice.

The bread is very heavy (dense), with a nutty flavor

I never baked it, only worked on the acorns

As to shelling ......easier to open fresh, easier to shell hard, but they aren't hard either way. We always did it watching movies. BUT it takes much longer to soak out the tanins when they are hard
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Anti Valentines Day...WHO'S WITH ME!
Posted: 2/12/2008 12:00:28 PM
If you find the right peson EVERYDAY is Valentines Day
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/12/2008 11:52:15 AM
When I was married I didn't read my spouses mail.

You either trust or you don't.

Don't trust me.......Don't be with me
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Why do you think the Divorce Rate is so High in North America?
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:50:09 PM
Because a Couple is ONE

But we are TOO

TOO proud to apologize
TOO stuborn to compromise
TOO self sufficient to work as a team
TOO ashamed to ask for outside help
TOO lazy to walk the extra mile
TOO insecure to trust
TOO self absorbed to give
TOO Greedy to share
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 205 (view)
 
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 12/8/2007 11:30:43 AM
Why do some make their point a thousand times ..............and keep pushing their agenda
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 74 (view)
 
More Single Dads then Single Moms with Custody
Posted: 12/8/2007 11:28:34 AM
^^^^^^^^You think not......

It cost me everything, but I have custody and I definately got the best of the deal

MY SON
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
To Date Or Not To Date
Posted: 12/2/2007 9:38:04 PM
Looks like you took everyone advice to heart

Profile Looks good ...........Smokin Smile..... Cute girl

They'll be lining up in no time

If it still runs a little slow ...think about adding a couple of years and miles to your limits. Remember you can still say no if a (for example) 28 year old guy writes and he isn't our cup of tea. But if the man of your dreams turned 25 yesterday he can't write to you

And by the way we go to special occasions with dolled up, we want to hang out with laid back
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Need help with an insecure men
Posted: 12/2/2007 8:34:09 PM
When you care, the switch will never turn off, it's hardwired. But in time a brighter, warmer light will come along and this will fade to one of those lights you see in the distance of the night with a memory
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Need help with an insecure men
Posted: 12/2/2007 10:08:02 AM
Once you give up the right to say NO Just not to upset him you have given up your right to be a person, an individual.

NOONE HAS THAT RIGHT!!!!!! I don't care how conflicted their life is.

Communicating, Meeting someone in the middle is a good thing, being afraid to say NO to making him a peanutbutter sandwich(example) because your afraid of his reaction. You have to see this as UNHEALTHY.

It is time for him to grow up, You coddling him CAN ONLY MAKE HIM WORSE
I know, I was the one walking on eggshells and coddling. I listened to the sad stories of her life, made exuses for her problems and ended up in a nasty abusive relationship.

You need to draw a line in the sand
 wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Need help with an insecure men
Posted: 12/2/2007 12:22:21 AM
Not insecurity......................Definately control issues and /or trust issues

A relationship is not losing yourself in him .....

It is melding the best of your life with the best of his without giving up your individuality. Put the ball in his court, tell him you are done with the manipulation and anger. You each need me time, that makes us time special. Tell him if he storms off without talking thing out, your not coming after him, calling him, texting him begging him. He must learn to trust you or there is NO relationship. You have to stand strong NOW or you will spend all your time walking on eggshells and not enjoying life as you should.
If you do this andmake him figure out if you are worth the effort(for him) to be a partner and not a master... one of three things will happen:

1)He will decide (over time) that you are serious and he loves you so he will share his life with you instead of controlling / owning it.
2) He will become more aggressive trying to force you to do his will and keep you under his thumb. (in which case you dump him quick...hard life or not
3) He will decide he doesn't want you enough to share his life with you and if he can't control / own you he doesn't want you.

BUT THIS WAY .....you didn't do anything to him, you gave him a choice or opportunity, It is up to him to choose you.
By the wat it is a two way street........ you have to be the same sharing your life and giving him some room for guy time
 
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