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 Author Thread: First dates and chemistry.....no mix
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
 
First dates and chemistry.....no mix
Posted: 10/1/2012 11:24:24 PM
I find it surprising that a lot of posts describe chemistry as physical attraction. For me it's always been a personality thing. There are women that I meet in person, who I can instantly have enjoyable conversations with that'll go for hours. I've also met others that are nice/good people but we seem to have to work at having a conversation where everything feels forced. The difference between that fake "hey how's it going" when you bump into somebody you don't really know yet see regularly and that genuine one when you run into a close friend. Sometimes you just hit it off, sometimes you don't. It's hard to pin down how or why, I guess that's why we give it an intangible name like "chemistry," but it's hard to test with text or phone conversations and Starbucks or wherever seems to work just as well for me as any other place.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Is snort laughing a dealbreaker?
Posted: 8/20/2012 3:22:50 PM
I guess it depends on the snort itself and frequency of snorts because some people laugh frequently. I get that it's probably not intentional but if it's something I had to hear every 5 minutes... not sure I could put up with it. An occasional snort laugh now and then isn't a deal breaker, sometimes it's actually kind of cute. A candid moment, if you will.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 28 (view)
 
ahould i be alrmed if he needs to take a shower at my house before our first date?!
Posted: 8/20/2012 3:18:52 PM
In what world is that a normal thing for somebody to ask?
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Your education
Posted: 8/20/2012 1:00:55 AM
If I print out the diploma at home does it still count?
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Anyone else growing old alone?
Posted: 8/19/2012 1:30:54 AM
Being alone is better than being with someone who makes you miserable. The problem is that while that might be a simple statement, a relationship is a very complicated thing. Determining whether the other person is actually the cause of your discontent or just a scapegoat for your personal issues, is sometimes more difficult than it seems. You need to just take each new person for what they are and make your decisions as you go but I recommend a lot of introspection just for the sake of self betterment.

To give an anecdote, I was talking with a good friend of mine who was complaining about not being able to make friends with other people. I told her maybe it was because she was annoying. I was half joking but actually mentioned some things she does that annoy me as well. After maybe about another 5 minutes of talking she left and I was working on something but I thought about the conversation we just had. I decided that what I'd said was callous and hurtful, despite that not being my intention. I called her and said that if I made her feel bad by calling her annoying I apologized. She said it just caught her off guard and then jokingly said, "You're lucky I forget things easily." The point of that story is that if I hadn't thought about things a bit more I probably wouldn't have apologized and it might have been something she resented for a while. Sometimes that extra bit of self reflection really helps us make the right call in the end.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 63 (view)
 
What's your favorite Disneyland ride?
Posted: 7/24/2012 11:52:31 PM
Probably an unusual choice but I'll go with Peter Pan. That little spin around miniature London at night with the moon in full view is fantastic.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 64 (view)
 
One Line Replies (from Men)
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:58:50 AM
As others have said, it's not just men. I recently had a woman send me a message with "Hi, my name is ____." I replied with something along the lines of, "Well apparently you're not the chattiest person in the world. How are you?" Then she got offended. Good times.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 41 (view)
 
How do I tell a friend I like his daughter?
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:54:13 AM
Of all the women in all the world you have to go for a friend's daughter? I would suggest going after other women. Assuming your argument is that she's better than other women, on the threshold of perfection even, then far be it from any of us to stand in the way of true love with a girl you barely met.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
question / situation
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:57:28 AM
You decide how much of a tip to leave with your money and others will do the same, simple as that. If you know your partner is tight with the tip and they're the one paying, you let them put in what they're comfortable with and say, "I was very satisfied with the service, I'll add some to the tip." Then place your money in. Not sure why you'd want to tip well for bad service though.

I know in other states servers get reduced pay and tips are their livelihood so I can understand the need for people to want to tip well. In California though minimum wage is flat across the board for everyone. I also never understood the distinction between certain jobs. You're not expected to tip the bag boy at the grocery store or the guy at home depot helping you lug out some lumber to your car but you have to tip your server at a restaurant, why? Social norms can be strange sometimes.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Friendship issue: not on the same page?
Posted: 7/17/2012 11:23:11 PM
the act of distributing it then creates demand, for which the criminals will attempt to fill it by harming even *more* children to provide new "content" to satisfy the demand.


Increasing supply doesn't create demand. If you decide to start selling dog poo in a jar, doubling production and increasing distribution to 5000 stores across the country, no more people will want dog poo in a jar than before you decided to increase production.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 46 (view)
 
How to be less shallow?
Posted: 7/17/2012 10:32:06 PM

I honestly have no interest in that lifestyle.. I know it may seem strange coming from a 22 year old, but I've never been into the party/bar scene and sex is not a major motivator for me seeking a relationship. I guess my total lack of experience will suck for "her" when I finally find someone but if they are the person I'm looking for that shouldn't be a big deal for them anyway.


It's not strange at all. Different people want different things. Some people want a companion as opposed to just a hot piece of... you know. I will say that you should get some experience with going on dates though. Even if they're not going to lead to anything just for the sake of experience.


I will agree that I should focus more on a my weight/health. I'm probably about 70-80 pounds overweight and it effects my self-esteem majorly, I've just had severe issues in the willpower department.


There's no excuse for not at least trying. I'm also well over my ideal weight and a couple of months ago I started going hiking every weekend at a hill close to home, about a 5-10 minute drive. I lost about 15 lbs in those couple of months from the hikes along with some healthier eating habits. My weight kind of got plateaued but I'm still going on the hikes and I definitely feel better overall. No reason you can't squeeze in some sort of work out an hour or two every other day.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Friendship issue: not on the same page?
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:51:22 PM

If someone commits a crime and someone else distributes it on tape. The act of distributing it is not right but again they are not the person who commited the act directly. The child is still going to be no more or no less harmed than they were in the first place.


Sure, maybe the original child won't, unless as the poster above mentioned that child later finds out of this video and is further emotionally scarred, be but there's a certain lack of morality to somebody who would exploit the situation in such a manner and it indirectly harms future children. Without a distribution network, there's no reason to supply pornography. You can equate it to drugs, if there's no way to get the product to buyers, there's no reason to produce. Having a working distribution network allows for supply to meet demand. So if you kill distribution, you decrease supply aka the production of child pornography.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Job type and relationship needs
Posted: 7/16/2012 12:33:44 PM
If I had to take a shot in the dark guess, I would say it's probably because the two biggest facets of most people's lives are their profession and starting a family (which is what a relationship usually leads to). The trade workers get the profession issue squared away rather quickly, maybe an apprenticeship for a while or some sort of certification that requires a year or two and they're off. That allows them to focus on starting a family. Other professions that require more extensive academic investment, don't even usually stop once you get the degree. You find a career, a lot of times graduates end up in something different from what they expected so they switch around, they contemplate moving, maybe going back for a different degree, then there's all the debt to deal with. Figuring out their profession becomes an ongoing ordeal and the whole relationship/starting a family thing has to take a back seat because their life is too volatile.

This is all just conjecture so I might be way off. If your observation and my explanation match up then the discrepancy should level out with age, once everyone is settled into their professions and routines.

Another explanation could just be ambition. Somebody who has gotten a higher education degree will most likely have done so because they have ambitious plans for their future, financially speaking. They most likely realize that getting in a relationship will tie them down and set them back in their plans. So again, it's basically about getting the other parts of your life settled before focusing on relationships.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 13 (view)
 
How to be less shallow?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:51:38 PM

Just going by your guys advice I need to probably focus more on interacting in person rather than online dating.. Long back story but I'm not a touchy person at all.. I think a huge chunk of my issue is a lack of social skills.. Don't think those can be honed very well online lol :P


Well if you can go on in person dates with women you meet online that's actually probably better practice because they're completely out of your social circle. If the date goes bad, they were just a stranger and you're really not worse off than you were before. If you go out on a date with say, a friend of a friend you've met or something and it goes bad, there can be unfortunate repercussions.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:46:15 PM
My gut instinct was cheating but from what you described, it could also be a psychological issue. The problem with your quest for getting closure is that she's the only one that really knows the answer. All anyone can do on the forums is toss out theories, so unfortunately, you may never know.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How to be less shallow?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:38:57 PM
I agree with points 1 and 4 from rdeffley. You can't treat attractive women like they're special, treat her like you'd treat a female friend you consider unattractive or even how you act with your guy friends. You need to be able to jokingly give each other a hard time because otherwise you end up with this weird awkward tension.

The second point about the pupils seems like something that's influenced too much by variables, lighting, medication, nervousness, etc. The third point of testing her by walking away might work but it's a little bit too overdramatic for my taste. If anything you might be shooting yourself in the foot by seeming so reactionary.

I agree that you need to make touching, even if it's small, a habit from the get-go, because if it happens 5 dates in, it's this new weird unusual thing that they're not used to. Imagine a coworker you've known forever suddenly giving you a random hug, it's just strange.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
How to be less shallow?
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:03:12 PM
This isn't really advice since it's not something you can really actively do, but if you hang around enough attractive women that have terrible personalities you'll eventually associate the two and won't be as interested. Our past experiences are what shape us.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Sex after monogamy?
Posted: 7/15/2012 6:52:11 PM

Man, I am carrying around more souls than the Highlander, now.


There can only be one.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
The EX's Friend
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:46:47 PM

Because you respond.
You messaged him, you respond to him = you still care.


Couldn't have said it any better.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Need Relationship Advice
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:45:05 PM
"I'm not ready for a commitment" means she's keeping her options open. You already know she's dating at least one other guy. If you give it more time you're either going to end up as the guy she settled for, or friend zoned. If that's not what you want, then you know what you have to do.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:13:07 PM
___J0hnDavid___

I feel like you oversimplify the benefits of the performing arts or arts in general. There's value in the arts even if it's not derived directly from the work itself. I dislike the vast majority of movies I watch and still benefit from them in that it's a shared experience with others. I can discuss my point of view, why the film was lacking, and hear the opinions of others. At the very least it gives you a conversational topic to gauge others' thoughts and value systems.

It's fine to want to do activities instead of watch movies or television. I rarely watch television or movies but I'm not going to go hiking or biking in the middle of a blizzard, or maybe I'm sore from whatever excursion I went on the prior day. It's something to do with family, friends or significant others on those off days. Of course, you can do whatever you want with your time, but the point is that there's some value there. It's not all just emotional manipulation or propaganda.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Sex after monogamy?
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:02:59 PM
As a rule I only have sex 7 days, 4 hours, 32 minutes and 9 seconds after meeting somebody. Not ifs, ands or buts... well sometimes there's butts but that's different.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Hurt, Confused
Posted: 7/15/2012 2:00:46 PM
You left out details of what the issues were but it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. It's a significant investment to spend 3.5 years with somebody but be thankful that this happened now as opposed to in another 3 years or even later. Somebody who would just cut everything off, be evasive, maliciously lie about you to other people and then try to pawn off his actions as some sort of divine intervention is clearly somebody who has greater issues than you realized beforehand. Sounds like you essentially just dodged a bullet, so if anything you should probably be rejoicing, although it's understandably bittersweet. Dodging the bullet is great, getting shot at in the first place, not so much.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Should effort be made to get back with Ex?
Posted: 7/15/2012 1:56:37 PM
I feel like if I were personally in that situation I would just cut off the ties and move on. The more time you spend trying to be, or being with somebody who has already shown you the first time around that she's not willing to put up with your responsibilities (assuming you weren't intentionally ignoring her but really just handling business) the more opportunities you waste to meet somebody who might a be more understanding and a better match.

You might tell yourself that things have changed and that you can spend more time with her now, which may be true, but that wasn't the real issue. The real issue was that she wasn't willing to be understanding of the situation and the things that were out of your control. You said it yourself that you're not interested in being friends and you want to avoid any more emotional damage to you or your son, which is what will most likely happen if you get back together.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 25 (view)
 
he says he wants more, but doesnt show it?
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:49:23 PM
Me too..because hookers are supposed to get paid before the sex. She's being his roadside hooker but he's not paying for it the way I see it. He's great!!


How could any woman pass up this modern day poster child of a potential husband? Once again, as is seen with many of these threads, the foundations of a great relationship in the making. Twenty years from now they'll still be together and regaling their children with stories about how mom wanted to go steady but dad only wanted a blowjob until she turned him around with the help of the intrepid forum users on a dating website.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
clothing in public
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:37:00 PM
You should just wear traditional folk Ukranian clothing at all times no matter what the occasion. Why? Because they have cool hats.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 24 (view)
 
he says he wants more, but doesnt show it?
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:34:38 PM

i feel like all he wants is sex because when we do see each other, it happens in the car :| and if i say no he says im pushing him away. but once its over he looks at the time and says its late and we should go home.

went to see him and all he wanted to talk about was me sucking his**** ive never done that to him before for personal reasons, but he said he wanted me to do it so i could get over those issues

ihs a great guy


I laughed so hard. Oh god, my sides hurt.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
When Do You Call???
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:26:57 PM
I usually transition the messaging conversation into texting when I get their number and then after a few messages back and forth just say, "Hey are you free to talk if I call you later in the day?" That's it. The first phone conversation isn't going to be really long, you're just getting to know each other, reading their personality as they read yours, but it gives you a good chance to show off your charm. I prefer a voice conversation to text, so the sooner the better. Hey, if a woman reads me as being "desperate" because I wanted to have a 10 minute conversation the same day that she gave me her number that's her problem and I'd rather move onto the next person. I'm not calling because I don't have better things to do but because I'm interested and want to see how we'd do in a more real interaction.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Emphasis on music, dancing, movies
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:16:24 PM
Some women are that obsessed with your interests matching up with theirs. It's fine to have interest in movies, music, or dancing but to have it as a requirement for anyone they meet seems excessive. I just lump them in with the rest of the crazies. I don't particularly want to be with somebody that requires that I have the same taste in entertainment as them, there's more important things when considering a relationship.

"We've been together for 5 years and we absolutely hate each other but at least we both like Jay-Z."
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Fishies: what is the sexiest thing a Man/Woman could do?
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:54:55 AM
I particularly like when a woman is comfortable being herself. Being with a woman that is overly concerned with what other people think is its own unique brand of frustration.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Women and Sex
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:50:32 AM

We know that is is socially acceptable for men to have a one night stand every night if they chose and people just say oh their just being a guy.


Actually we'd probably just call him a manwhore.

As for your own promiscuity and how other people view you, everyone labels everyone for everything. It's not possible to go by life unscathed by the judgement of others and you're not going to alter society's perceptions of the things you do. The best you can do is keep it to yourself and don't go around giving people information to label in a way that you don't want to be labelled.

To answer your question about the guy's expectations, it depends on what the guy is looking for. If he wants to have a commited relationship with you then he'll obviously want it to be exclusive. If he's just looking for a one night stand like you are, then he isn't going to care, nor is it any of his business because as soon as day breaks you part ways. If it's a 'friends with benefits' arrangement then the terms need to be worked out between you two but typically there's no exclusivity involved.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Calling And Texting GF EVERYDAY!
Posted: 7/12/2012 11:59:09 PM
I agree with you OP. I can't do calls every day. I run out of stuff to talk about. Not much crap has happened in the last 24 hours for me to hold an interesting conversation with somebody I spoke to yesterday. You end up talking about tired old topics you've probably spoken about before and it just gets old.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Insults as an Opener.
Posted: 7/12/2012 11:55:42 PM
As others have mentioned, it's a "tip" that's passed around by some men in certain circles as a way to pick up women. The problem is in its execution. It's fine to include some derision in your flirting but you have to be tactful, have a limit and do it with charm.

For example there's a woman I know who I was talking with the other day and she likes to make these statements about how great she is, she knows they're over the top but says them anyways. On this occasion she said, "I'm a great person, I'm always trying to help people and make their lives better." I replied with a smile, "Oh is that what you do? Because my experience has been a bit different." It was a bit of an insult but she laughed and took it as the joke it was meant to be. Plus, I've known her for a few months so it's not an opening line.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 11:23:29 PM
My favorite places to meet women:

1) As they're walking into the bathroom
2) Dark alleys
3) In the ER of my local hospital
4) At the cemetery
5) Anywhere while they're out on a date with another guy

Oh yeah, and the gym.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 302 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 7/12/2012 11:15:08 PM

female between that ages of 18-25 with three to five kids. Then the profile will say "they're tired of games" and "looking for a nice/good guy."


In this scenario nice/good guy = sucker.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How many of you can tolerate your partner goes to his/her ex's home all the time? Am I too difficult
Posted: 7/11/2012 7:26:45 PM
From reading your threads about this guy, I hope you haven't convinced yourself that this is the best you can do because he sounds pretty awful.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 381 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/10/2012 8:46:19 PM

Guys are still not getting it. It's freaking crazy. How dare you get offended by a man making a rude remark. I got offended because I felt it was perverse. I also felt that maybe, he had been staring at me since he noticed I went there often. Maybe you like being watched; I DO NOT.


Guys are possibly not getting it because you're being inconsistent. As your message states above, this has nothing to do with the gym. It has everything to do with what he said, which was awkward and came off perverse. Had he said it on the street, in a store, at the park or wherever else, you would have had the same reaction. The gym is completely irrelevant to the issue at hand.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/10/2012 8:35:48 PM
So after reading through most of the thread the answer appears to be "Anywhere if you're hot. Nowhere if you're not."
Guess that clears up yet another great mystery. Way to go team.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 367 (view)
 
Why do men think it is okay to bother ladies at the gym?
Posted: 7/9/2012 11:39:20 PM

What about these women who wear tight short shorts with the word juicy on there behinds. Wear baggie outfit to the gym then.


Nothing turns me on quite like a chick sweating off those calories in a parka and parachute pants.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 288 (view)
 
Statements in profiles that make you say NEXT!
Posted: 7/9/2012 11:36:44 PM
Somebody made another thread earlier that broke down people's profiles into people that tell you what they bring to the table and then profiles that tell you what they want you to bring to the table.

It made me think about how every time I see a list of demands I just go onto the next profile. I want to read a profile that tells me a bit about who you are and what you do, not feel like I'm reading a damn ransom note.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
HELP in need of some Good Advice
Posted: 7/9/2012 8:06:22 PM
You're dating a guy that has

1) Repeatedly sent hello messages with no response until he managed to harass you into a reply
2) Is a weekend alcoholic
3) Has not gotten over his deceased wife
4) Does not wish to be exclusive with you and has told you this flat out

So many good decisions have been made, I'm not sure there's any advice to give. This has the foundations of a perfect relationship.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 32 (view)
 
How Long
Posted: 7/9/2012 4:04:38 PM

…just in case that’s all it takes, eh?


You know what they say, go big or go home.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 20 (view)
 
How Long
Posted: 7/9/2012 1:53:43 AM
I usually say the words while I'm asking for the first date. "Hi would you like to go out together sometime... because I love you."
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Trying to not date someone based on looks...
Posted: 7/9/2012 1:49:46 AM
Sometimes, once in a blue moon, you fall in love with who they are and looks fall to the wayside. It's not something that's easy to explain, you just know it's possible once you experience it.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 38 (view)
 
What does it take to get a reply?
Posted: 7/8/2012 2:32:48 AM

1. Get a full body shot pic and a face shot of you standing on top of Mount Everest.
2. Spend a month trying to write a real sincere, informative, and funny profile and intro message. Submit your finished work to several peer reviewed academic journals, and then random beta test.
3. Have a job, car, insurance, live alone, be clean shaven, wear expensive shoes, and smell good.
4. Drink, but don't smoke. Love to go out but prefer to stay in. Cook, clean, and be supportive of every hobby, interest, and opinion.
5. Don't lie, never argue, be funny and sympathetic, be social but love nature, be spiritual with no belief, be current with all news and views, and just plain be yourself.


This made me laugh because it's basically true.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 185 (view)
 
A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:54:50 PM

Oh, wow. Let's see what we have here. Over the weeks, we've seen the following demands brought to light via posts.

"Must not approach me at the gym."
"Must not tell me I'm hot."
"Must be a book reader."
"Must not watch sports."

Awesome. Some of you women won't be satisfied until you've made your ONLY ideal match a 76 year old man in Zimbabwe.

Keep up the good work!


This is what happens when their options get expanded several dozen to a few hundred times. It's like going to a restaurant with a menu of 500 items with an ensuing barrage of nit picking. "I don't feel like having square shaped pasta today, that brings it down to 30 options left." In real life, the options are so limited that even significant flaws might be overlooked as opposed to the nonsense that goes on here sometimes.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
 
FWB (not) turning into relationship
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:35:10 PM
Advice? Get better friends.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 122 (view)
 
A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 11:53:37 PM
I commented on this thread earlier but I wanted to ask, why is reading "books" an intellectual thing? Of course non-fiction books have a wealth of information but most of that can be found reliably on the web. I'm probably one of the few people that reads research articles in his spare time just to know things, not necessarily in my field of work. Fiction books are just an esoteric pastime, not really different from movie watching or music listening. You get information that is pretty much only useful in conversation with others who have read the same works.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 38 (view)
 
A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:26:57 PM
We all have our deal breakers and we don't necessarily agree about them with others. I wouldn't be bothered by not sharing a hobby but if this is something that matters to you then it's a deal breaker. I would just suggest thinking long and hard if that's really the issue you want to base or not base a relationship on.
 foxonatrain
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
who should pay for an airline ticket the one that make most or the one that dont make almost nothing
Posted: 7/2/2012 10:23:26 PM
The guy didn't magically just start making that much money one day. Odds are fairly good that he worked to get to where he is, so he gets to spend it how he sees fit.. He's already paying for the stay and food, why exactly does he need to pay for everything? I don't know how long they've been together or what the relationship dynamics are but being in a relationship isn't a good enough reason to freeload.
 
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