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 Author Thread: how are you finding this site of late ?
 uktom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 32 (view)
 
how are you finding this site of late ?
Posted: 10/10/2014 1:27:32 PM
I haven't been on here for months. Thought I'd come back and take a look today.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 31 (view)
 
20 dates no spark :-s
Posted: 2/19/2014 2:29:59 PM
Some very fair points made in this thread including those by the OP.

The problem seems to me that dating is just hard work with a load of added emotional turmoil. How hard are you prepared to work?

Maybe the conventional way where you get to know someone gradually via a social situation is actually a better way of doing it? Less pressure and you can gradually develop an interest. I think the comment about the POF events being better than dating is probably valid.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 19 (view)
 
One vegetarian for Christmas .
Posted: 11/1/2013 6:22:47 PM
I've gradually become a vegetarian over the last few years. I'm about 99.8% vegetarian now. I eat some meat last week to save someone who'd made the meal some hassle. Generally I prefer not to eat meat.

It's very amusing how wound up people get about vegetarians.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Fizzy Drinks May Lead To Teenage Violence !!
Posted: 11/1/2013 6:17:07 PM
What is consumed has a massive effect on the state of mind and behaviour.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Musical guilty pleasures
Posted: 4/3/2013 4:57:40 PM
Well, I had Curiosity Killed the cat - Misfit and Back down to earth stuck in my head for several days last week.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Can you be spiritual without being religious?
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:05:01 PM
Yes, definitely. I do loads of yoga. That's spiritually awakening. I'm not at all religious.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
 
The Year of Making Love - BBC3
Posted: 2/15/2013 3:00:56 PM

I think some people lead very sad boring lives to sit and watch tv crap like this , if i ever get to the stage where i find myself watching crap like this , pls come shoot me :)

It's lightweight voyeurism. Always quite entertaining. I don't watch tv generally due to lack of time.
 uktom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
The Year of Making Love - BBC3
Posted: 2/14/2013 12:54:40 PM
OK. Half way through the 1st episode now.
Seems like very typical "reality manufactured situation tv" so far.
Take a load of people. Create situations that will hopefully be a disaster/interesting/akward/amusing.
Cameras on, chuck the people in. It's only one step removed from ad libbed acting.
Take 100s of hours of material back to the editing suite and trawl through it desperately looking for something dramatic.
Buff it up, add excitable voice over and music.

Pretty lightweight. Definitely not as interesting as the undateab les.
 uktom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
The Year of Making Love - BBC3
Posted: 2/14/2013 12:14:40 PM
Just started watching episode 1.
First reaction is "oh no, they've got a shouty, excitable voice over person".
Annoyed already!
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Having a nightmare on here
Posted: 2/14/2013 8:34:51 AM
Let me pass you the big box of tired cliches. I won't bother reading them to you because you've heard them all before.

POF is a tough nut to crack. So don't bother trying too hard.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 32 (view)
 
What really makes you feel good?
Posted: 2/14/2013 8:07:39 AM
Yoga. Makes me feel really good, glowing and happy.
That I've pretty much given up drinking and I've lost weight is also a positive benefit.
So I started pilates as well.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Over 30 and On a Different Planet?
Posted: 12/14/2012 1:42:59 PM
Read this http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/
 uktom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 48 (view)
 
What has your dating experience been like in your 30's?
Posted: 11/24/2012 6:04:21 PM
It's been alright. I've been on several pleasant dates that have not been a disaster but neither party has felt fired up with enthusiasm either.
 uktom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 37 (view)
 
2 years on POF? should I give up the search?
Posted: 11/24/2012 6:02:44 PM
POF has actually been alright for me. I lost interest in sending messages so I edited my profile to say that I didn't bother posting messages but I would reply to them. Since then I've had a few messages and gone on a few dates. No disasters but nothing's gone any further either. I'm not bitter though because at some stage it might happen plus I'm not spending hours sending messages and being disappointed with the lack of replies.
 uktom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 21 (view)
 
What is the difference between a bar and a pub?
Posted: 9/26/2012 3:16:49 PM
Bar - any counter serving alcoholic drinks.

Pub - building containing bars primarily intended for social drinking.

Good pub - as above plus serving good beer plus a landlord who cares about the quality of the experience.
 uktom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
So... What's going wrong?
Posted: 9/26/2012 3:04:33 PM
When I started out on here I worked really hard at reading profiles and sending messages to women who I genuinely thought might be compatible. Great idea, but the response rate was about 1 in 30.

I read the forums a bit more and it turned out that this was quite typical. Quite a few people commented on how they'd given up and turned to just reading the forums for entertainment.

I edited my profile to explain that I didn't bother sending messages but that I would reply to messages.

I've had more success since then and it's a lot less work. I did try the instant message via the photos but poor response on that. I suspect that it's the numbers game again.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Coalitions attitude to the working class
Posted: 9/26/2012 2:47:42 PM
Thatcher was anti union but was more pro-working class than new Labour.

The "no such thing as society" speech is always misquoted.
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Margaret_Thatcher
"And, you know, there is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first. It's our duty to look after ourselves and then, also to look after our neighbour."
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Dining Solo in Public
Posted: 9/26/2012 2:43:08 PM
I quite like dining out alone. There's a big M&S near me with a deli bar. It's a very relaxing way to spend an hour or two .
 uktom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Geeks: Turn off or..........
Posted: 9/20/2012 5:38:09 PM
Geeks and nerds are not the same thing.
According to that then I'm a bit of a geek.
http://www.neatorama.com/2009/09/16/are-you-a-nerd-dork-geek-or-dweeb/
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
speed dating
Posted: 9/17/2012 4:12:01 PM
My experience of it was that each single woman would take 3 or 4 mates along as company and they'd take part in the speed dating too.
It really appealed to my inner masochist.
 uktom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 190 (view)
 
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 9/10/2012 4:04:07 PM

Im sorry if you are single at 39 and never been married Im going to run because you have commitment issues.

I'd like to take issue with this statement.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 90 (view)
 
How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 8/25/2012 5:03:03 AM
After reading a load of stuff on the forum I decided to stop trying and just use POF as entertainment.
I updated my profile to say that I don't bother starting conversations, so contact me if interested and within a few days I had someone contact me!
Rather annoyingly I've not been on here for a month so I've now lost the mails (do they drop off after a month or so).
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Is this normal?
Posted: 7/23/2012 1:42:47 PM
4/47 is fairly typical.
Must be the numbers game.
Women get annoyed with the constant messages coming their way.
Men get bored with the lack of response.

I just stopped messaging a while back . One day if I see someone whos profile really makes me feel like it then I might send a message. Anything less than that then I don't bother because it's not worth the effort. No rush and all that.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Dating tutorial video
Posted: 7/23/2012 1:35:15 PM
Speed dating: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XppEzopIahs
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Dating tutorial video
Posted: 7/23/2012 1:22:36 PM
A handy tutorial for you courtesy of Youtube and Alan from Modern Toss.
I'll have to go and find the "man stroke woman" speed dating clip next.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arvXfStE8l0

Oh, it's got to be 200 characters long, so if I keep typing stuff in here it'll get there I'm sure.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Eharmony oops
Posted: 6/7/2012 4:42:07 PM
Intimate details of 'up to 1.5 million' eHarmony users put at risk as mass hacking that affected LinkedIn spreads to the popular dating website. Oh dear!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2156123/Intimate-details-1-5-million-eHarmony-users-risk-mass-hacking-affected-LinkedIn-spreads-popular-dating-website.html
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Fuel prices
Posted: 5/31/2012 4:07:58 PM
The cost of fuel per month is not a significant proportion of my income, so no real worries.
I have been working at the fuel economy challenge though, just for fun really.

The main thing to concentrate on is to avoid braking by planning ahead a lot more. That's the key to economy if there's changes in speed required. After that, lowering cruising speeds makes a lot of difference. I've got quite zen about it now and can sit on motorways at 55mph indicated wherease 2 years ago I wouldn't do anything less than 80 at any time. That's the difference between 50mpg and 38mpg instantaneous.

The real fun is making good progress along A roads and still getting the average up to 45mpg. Conservation of momentum, planning ahead, virtually no braking, carrying the speed round corners. Did I say that I was enjoying this?
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 85 (view)
 
How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 5/31/2012 3:50:27 PM
I think I can deal with the self-confidence part. It's the sheer tedium of writing a lot of messages.
I've come up with a solution to that one. I'm not bothering.

Everyone goes on about this "if it happens it will happen" thing, so I'm taking that literally for a while!
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
does this site work? at all?
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:10:49 PM
I put in a few evening's work and got some real life dates out of it. They came to nothing, but I think you could say that it sort of worked.
I haven't got the energy to work that hard again for a while though.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Musical guilty pleasures
Posted: 5/28/2012 4:06:11 PM
I've got a few, but I don't feel guilty.
ABC - lexicon of love
Scritti Politti - Cupid and Psyche 85 and some other stuff
Sister Sledge
loads of other things
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Getting back into the groove
Posted: 5/23/2012 4:07:41 PM
It's all good fun and tactile, yes. You could recreate the sound from a digital source though. Just a matter of building the right set of filters and distortions to apply to a digital source.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 82 (view)
 
How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 5/22/2012 1:41:15 PM

"I was telling someone the other day about how much work the dating game seems to me and how it's a numbers game etc. "


So is that why wildly inappropriate people randomly message others?

Yes, probably, but even if someone send carefully worded posts to likely matches then it's still a numbers game.

90/10% split? Hmm.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 78 (view)
 
How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 5/21/2012 3:44:47 PM
Any idea on what M/F split is on POF?
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Clairvoyants and Mediums
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:10:20 PM


Do you believe in this kind of thing?

Not at all.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 138 (view)
 
When are we too old for clubbing.....
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:08:34 PM
Most clubbing is very much over rated anyway. Look at most town centre clubs. They're shit holes populated by non discerning punters who will put up with anything if they've had enough to drink. Not saying that I didn't enjoy doing things like that when I was 20. But I'm happy to have moved on.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 77 (view)
 
How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:06:51 PM
I was telling someone the other day about how much work the dating game seems to me and how it's a numbers game etc. They seemed amazed by all of the things that I was saying and were adamant that it shouldn't be such hard work.
Either they're right or they have no experience of dating past the age of about 22?
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 25 (view)
 
The over analytical 30 something?
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:04:14 PM
I agree. I think that for me the problem has been that I've not met anyone yet who motivates me enough. Plenty feel the same way about me. I really hope that one day this state of affairs can end.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
speed dating....
Posted: 5/17/2012 4:44:28 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XppEzopIahs
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Couply social groups.
Posted: 5/14/2012 2:39:15 PM
I think that a healthy relationship includes space for both partners to spend a certain amount of time doing their things. I don't think it's healthy if a relationship means that all single friends are now consigned to history. It's not a big problem - such people probably aren't good friends in the first place.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 73 (view)
 
How hard do you work on POF?
Posted: 5/14/2012 2:34:45 PM


The first thing I would do is get rid of that Main profile pic. It makes a statement to anyone who views you and to see a big afro on a guy like you is probably scaring most women on the site.


Er, I put that up the other day when I was bored. All serious content that I posted on here was from ages ago. I'm really rather relaxed about POF at the moment.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 29 (view)
 
writing code is the New Latin - dating and computer literacy
Posted: 5/9/2012 1:45:14 PM
I work in engineering and I love it. Loads of interesting things to get on with. A good group of people too.
Truly creative. It annoys me when "creative" is taken to mean advertising or marketing.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 5/9/2012 1:33:24 PM
I guess that most people will work on making a date a success. I would also guess that most of the men on the dates think that you're alright. They'll be weighing up your positives and negatives. It's good for the ego to go on a 2nd or 3rd date and I'd guess that most people would do it even if they have doubts. After that they probably think "actually, I'm not sure that I want to committ to this" and then they'll be back on POF looking at the near endless choices available.

Don't let it affect you personally.

Everyone is in the same game and dating has a lot of disappointment built into it.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 54 (view)
 
disillusioned with POF ???
Posted: 5/9/2012 1:13:20 PM
I've been on two dates this month which seemed to go quite well and in both cases I was told by text "I don't think there's any chemistry."
Fair enough. Move on and don't waste any more time.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 53 (view)
 
disillusioned with POF ???
Posted: 5/9/2012 1:12:12 PM
I agree with a lot of what's been said.
Meet in real life at the first opportunity.

Regard POF as a masochistic extreme sport.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 450 (view)
 
eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!
Posted: 5/9/2012 1:02:45 PM
I tried Eharmony for a year. It was hard work. Certainly didn't offer anything over and above POF.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 27 (view)
 
writing code is the New Latin - dating and computer literacy
Posted: 5/9/2012 12:56:04 PM
I've spent the best part of 20 years using various computer systems to analyse problems.
It's a creative task and I love it.

The problem with the IT industry is too many dullards working in it.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Social Skills
Posted: 5/9/2012 12:45:15 PM
What's the difference between an outgoing software engineer and a shy one?

The outgoing one stares at your shoes rather than theirs when they're talking to you.

Old joke, but contains a truth. Yes, you need social skills to succeed at anything that involves more than just yourself.
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
T R A N C E
Posted: 5/8/2012 4:19:58 PM
Another MORPH mix.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mr-Q9kjGT6s
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
T R A N C E
Posted: 5/8/2012 4:11:26 PM
I rate this.
Alex MORPH mix of PVD.
Messy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5lE3bvIeic
 UKTom2
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Music unlocks the mind. Who does it for you?
Posted: 5/8/2012 4:10:04 PM
Ambient stuff like Steve Roach for the floaty moments.
A bit of properly tuneless music can be great too. Proper white noise stimulates the mind.
Metronomic repetition when done properly is also great. Tribal trance.

I even quite like an occasional bit of near-mainstream trance. There's some very cliched sounds out there mind and it's a fine line.
 
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