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 Author Thread: No Drama - Whatever!!
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 29 (view)
 
No Drama - Whatever!!
Posted: 11/16/2011 6:58:46 PM

No offense to POF, but if I ever suffer, it will not be from an online dating site.

So you're saying you never plan to meet/date anyone from here?

Statements like that just confuse me.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Getting plenty of lookers no takers
Posted: 11/16/2011 2:17:49 AM
That's a very romantic first date.

Photo suggestions. Delete the pics that are not of you.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Fun!
Posted: 11/14/2011 12:52:17 AM
Your profile doesn't say much about you. Plus it says 'date but nothing serious'. I can see why the horny guys message you about sex.

Fill out your profile. One that reveals more about who you are, what you enjoy, where you are going, and what you want in a partner-n-crime. Do that and I will give you my best advice on any changes and such
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 19 (view)
 
This ought to reel 'em in
Posted: 11/13/2011 3:49:08 PM

Here you go: http://www.pof.com/deleteaccount.aspx
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 11/13/2011 3:11:08 PM

You said my point over again. "i spend a lot of time on this forum" .

Okay..... I spend a lot of time on this forum. Is that supposed to mean something? Is this your attempt to say I have no social life or something? lol


Whats more to explain?

How about what my time on the forum and my profile has to do with your complaining and whining? Read my posts, notice I am not complaining about a lack of women. My profile is crap right now, I know this because I can write great profiles. That has zero bearing on your profile or my ability to give suggestions in a profile review.


I dont need to tell you that you have a sad online life.

My offline life is happier. You're right you didn't need to say that :)


I also dont need to tell you that you have a worthless skill of "reviewing" peoples profiles

Interesting. So you spend a lot of time on the forum reading my contributions eh? So what was your point again?? lol


so they can become online casanovas like yourself... Ahem. But yea buddy keep on truckin'.

I take time out of my day to give the help people ask for. And you act like a****ead. I think I will keep truckin that path indeed. Mine gets me dates.


To each their own.

Obviously.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 11/12/2011 9:01:25 PM
Yes your profile could use a lot of work. Not as much as your general attitude though.

I spend a lot of time of this forum. What's your point? It's amazing how compatible mobile devices and laptops are with multitasking.

I was not trashing yours. Put it in a profile review forum and I might.

As for my profile. What's your point? Am I complaining and whining like you are? No I am not. Erroneous. When I do feel free to say that again...at that point it will have some weight.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Do women really like having men compete for their attention
Posted: 11/12/2011 8:53:39 PM

so why not cancel the date?

IMO he should cancel it but only because he needs to meet someone who agrees to being exsclusive from day one.


freedom also means if he doesnt feel so, he does not need to meet this woman!

He already exercized that and met her... you mean the second meet/date? He said he was probably gonna cancel.


The OP sensed the other guy was a player,
if he is right, than she has a bad judgement.

Big IF.

He met her and him once. He was at the party shortly. Probably was not even engaged in their conversation but overheard things. Riiiiiiiighhtt I am sure he was able to accurately assess the man. More like he passed superficial judgement primarily because he was upset.


Could be she is overconfident because of her work,
executive position, and thinks she can control and judge situations so clearly like at work.

Did he not say he was attracted to her because she was all executive and $hit?

He was attracted to her and she agree on a date. That should have been enough. I guess you would have failed in the same way if you had been in his shoes.


Follow your intinct

Or introspect.


so let me get this straight; the reason you couldn't go on a date with this woman was because you had your kids that weekend?

Where is this coming from??? He agreed on a date on monday and so did she...


I've been reading the responses by some of the women here, and I guess you are just not much of a man because you had the audacity to put your kids first.

Rolls eyes. Did SHE complain?


you're suppose to just blow off time with your kids so you can try to out do some player type guy for the attention of this chickie.

No. You follow through with that date on monday and have enough confidence and faith in yourself that you will come out victorius.


I think you are in the right, trying to compete for a woman's affection is a waste of time and resourses

I find this hilarious. Why is it soooo bizzare that a single women wouldn't become exclusive to a stranger she met for the first time at a party??
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Do women really like having men compete for their attention
Posted: 11/12/2011 4:04:07 PM
^
SO WHAT? Hey elaborate on what's odd about that.

2 months of planning? You make it sounds like it was a pre-arranged marriage. 2 months is completely irrelevant. You met her at the party right?
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Do women really like having men compete for their attention
Posted: 11/12/2011 3:59:43 PM
What are you taken back by? That she didn't become your exclusive girl after the big hug?


Do women really like having men compete for their attention

You probably put a lot more thought into it then she did. Why can't it be as simple as she is single and interested in dating?...
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
 
introducing me to his best friend
Posted: 11/12/2011 3:32:47 PM

I'm going with the, yep he's gay thats his bf and he is just trying to bring you in for a 3 some.

Two gay men and one heterosexual women. Now that's an awkward threesome. At least afterwards she will get her answer lol
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 11/12/2011 3:23:18 PM

the seriousness you guys put in this is laughable. To each their own i guess.


Laughable is someone thinking finding the right girl doesn't take effort.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 22 (view)
 
No Drama - Whatever!!
Posted: 11/12/2011 12:18:17 AM
So no 21 post limit means I can use a post not really saying anything at all??

motown cowgirl <------- totally agree with her post. That's exactly how I interpret it.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 38 (view)
 
The Heart
Posted: 11/11/2011 11:29:51 PM
^^^
Yes the OP is confused and is saying contradictory things. I think most of us would had we been in her shoes around the age.....

OP I very strongly feel if you are dating with the intention of forming a relationship with someone else with the same intention, then you should disclose this as soon as you feel the transition from 'dating' to 'relationship' is happening. It's the compassionate thing to do. Maybe that's a month, maybe that's a year. You know what I mean..


I've had great relationships in my past, first 5 years was great huge gigantic can't live without each other love, which ended because he couldn't give me what I wanted at the time.


You talk strongly about that 'fire'. Like the first relationship had what you seek in the next. If the first relationship had it...then what was he not providing? It couldn't have been worked out with some counseling?


People want the happily ever after forever, but they do nothing to make it happen. ;-)

What was done with your first one?
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 11/11/2011 11:12:32 PM
^
I think the sentiment being expressed is that there are people with solid advice for those needing profile tips...such as yourself.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I'm looking for your two cents
Posted: 11/10/2011 8:15:16 PM

Three constants in my life. First, I am from the Midwest, and was born in Detroit. I think this makes me obligated to like seasons and miss: fall, a little snow and thunderstorms.


So you are unhappy living in California and often complain about the lack of real winters? :)


Second, I am a graduate student at Claremont Graduate University working on my PhD.

Dude you're a PHD student. This is a selling point, so sell it! What's the degree. What are you gonna do with it? Why did you choose it?


Three, I am working towards a reserve commission for the United States Military.

Are you banking on most women knowing what that means?


I am a huge fan of water in all of its forms and anything that can be done with it.

Most of us are huge fans of drinking it. If that's not what you mean then elaborate!


Lastly, I do not think I could function without my passport or airplanes in general.

The issue I see in your profile is that you are not taking advantage of describing the interesting things you have done.


What characteristics in a girl am I looking for? I am looking for someone to share experiences with. I want to be engaged in their life and expect them to be a part of my life.

Kind of Captain Obvious ;) The rest is good.


I am down for almost anything on a first date. I would, however, like the opportunity to enjoy a conversation and try to get to know someone as opposed to sitting in a movie theater for two hours then going home.

Well that was boring. Delete it and then just say what you would want to do.

Photos are good
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
The Heart
Posted: 11/10/2011 7:35:47 PM
First I just want to say I am sorry. I wish we spent less money on the military and more on research and development on disease and health issues... :(


I'd say put it right in your profile. Weed out the people who wouldn't be okay with that right away.

This would work if you are comfortable with it.. but again it really comes down to your intention (as Ableian pointed out).

I absolutely don't think you should let this stop you from dating or falling in love. I think you should bring it up the moment you feel things are starting to get more serious.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 72 (view)
 
most Underated band?
Posted: 11/10/2011 12:41:45 AM

For as much unabashed hatred as they get...Nickelback


lol.

How can they be underrated when they are so popular??

I am gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you meant over-rated!

God they suck lol
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Missing that spark - what to do where to look??? Advice??/
Posted: 11/7/2011 8:45:55 PM
^^^
OP made it clear that was not his intention.

The wife not so much.

***never mind I missed this for some reason***

Just some easy going fun and maybe some flirty chat. Some understanding and someone who has some needs to be met as well. If it goes further, it goes further.

OP your wife cheated on you but that doesn't make it okay for you to cheat on her. You forgave her cheating (I wouldn't have) and loyalty is included in that forgiveness.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/7/2011 8:21:08 PM
^^^
Could very well be the case! However OP since you JUST met her it seems perfectly reasonable that she would have more interest in the other guys she has been seeing. Give it a little more time.

Everything seems fine to me. I don't really see what you are concerned about. She turned down your invite to the gym as it was her off day (normal). Just message her tomorrow (day off) and see if she wants to meet you for happy hour. If she doesn't wanna, don't think about it. Call the other girl or build solar panels for your house or something.


"Would like to see you soon! Let me know when you're free?"

Meh don't say that just make it a simple invitation to something fun.
If she responds saying she can't, you will know whether she's interested in you if she says "I can't because _________ but I am free _____lets________".
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
women in relationships ALWAYS seem to be attracted,why?
Posted: 11/7/2011 8:11:01 PM
Cheater wondering why he attracts cheaters. I believe they call this the Law of Attraction.

Try not being a cheater (yes your actions make you one). Maybe you will attract single women.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Missing that spark - what to do where to look??? Advice??/
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:44:57 PM
Relationship Counselor. Sex counselor. Exhibitionism. Crashing HS parties. Live in India for 6 months.

Do what you can just make sure you are doing something. Put in some real effort and be creative.

Try that. If it doesn't work don't hesitate a moment longer and divorce.


I went like 9 months without even caring about having sex, or giving any real affection, because I wasn't recieving it. She did the same. We ended up being two stuborn people just waiting for the other to make the first move.

I think that there shows you are both equal contributors to the overall issue. I really think you two should give counseling a shot.


and I'm just not sure what a professional counseler can really change.

Nothing. You two have to make the changes. The counselor gives insight.


I guess I see them as a professional who was taught these things, not people who have lived them.

How did you figure that? They are people too. Chances are they have gone through similar things. Such as cheating...
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How does my Profile look now? what should I add and what should I edit? what is missing?
Posted: 11/7/2011 6:52:42 PM
Put your profile in Word so you can correct the grammar and punctuation issues. Separate the paragraphs so each one has a clear subject.


but i eventually plan to go back to community college to transfer to a 4-year university to get my Bachelor's Degree in Graphic Design and move on to my Master's in Veternary Sciences.

First you don't explain the nature of your school break and how long you plan for it to be. Your schooling could be another 4-6 years... Why would you get a BA in Graphic Design if you plan on a profession in veternary science? I only ask because women may be wondering this too.


Since i'm a guy I know I have to make the final decision

That could be interpreted many ways and not all of them good.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Do guys do FWB exclusive with girls?
Posted: 11/7/2011 4:43:16 PM

so basically you want someone to agree to fvck you and only you until you decide to fvck someone else. not sure how that makes you any different from the players you so want to avoid.

Well in my definition a player is someone who gives false intentions in order to get booty i.e a guy pretending he wants a LTR because the woman is looking for LTR. So if she were to be forthright with her intentions (fvck partner) there would be no nefarious component aka 'playing'. That's how I see it anyways. IF she maintains her profile as others suggest and dates under that premise then I would say she is 'playing'...


However, to me, it is like Communism ... it is a wonderful theory, but lousy in execution.

It was never really executed. A totalitarian dictatorship is a rather big no-no to the theory to begin with ;)
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do guys do FWB exclusive with girls?
Posted: 11/7/2011 4:02:17 PM
Well I have been in an exclusive FWB, but the exclusivity was purely circumstantial for both of us. I wouldn't want to be in an FWB with the understanding that we were both to remain exclusive, as to me exclusivity is something I reserve for a relationship. Not too mention the exclusivity will only increase the chance of deeper feelings developing (which would be counter-intuitive to some wanting to be in an FWB to begin with).

VVVVVV

First off, a FWB needs to be FRIENDS first... That's the "F" in "FWB"

I agree with you. Without the friendship, it's booty-call. Some on the forums use them interchangeably for some reason...
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Help me out boys.
Posted: 11/7/2011 2:46:04 PM

"Hi" is good enough for most guys

True most people are boring ^_^


Why commit to a long, thought out message if there may be no interest on the other side?

'May' being the operative word.


I hate to sound shallow....
but if she's cute,
she doesn't have to be clever.

I ignore beautiful women that send "hi" messages. I would say unless they have a great profile...however I have yet to recieve a "hi" message from a beautiful woman that also had a great profile. Those women put some effort into it.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Help me out boys.
Posted: 11/7/2011 1:45:29 PM

Maybe its just me, but it hurts me way worse when I take the time to write a clever message with no response then to send a quick 'hows the day treating you' message!


One is going to get you less responses then the other. I write what I feel are great first messages (when I had a real profile), often to women I think I have much in common, and sometimes I don't get a response. Just the way it is. Don't let it hurt you.

Stick to writing quality messages. Nothing too elaborate just something that will spark a decent conversation. 'hows your day going' is just as lame to me as 'hi'.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Frustrated!
Posted: 11/5/2011 3:52:59 PM

But, this Aryan Philospher chose her method of spelling for deception.

And members are also not taking your words at face-value and accusing you of deception. Pot calling the kettle black no?


All of the hatred that's coming for her says exactly who she is. Notice she didn't deny the word Aryan

I noticed she didn't comment on that yes. I also noticed you didn't comment on the vast majority of what I said and asked.


so dont try defending this racist.

The only thing I will defend is my half of a debate.


Many here on POF are racist.

Many are racist in all the continents of the World. Thus online forums have many racists in them <------note I am not agreeing she is an 'Aryan'.

VVVVVVVV
Nope just means you affiliate with them! lol
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Seriously . . . What's up with the twenty somethings?
Posted: 11/5/2011 3:42:31 PM

Additionally, as a former high school teacher

Are you sure they are not former students

With your age settings the man can be old enough to of been your teacher as well. Just saying...
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Frustrated!
Posted: 11/5/2011 3:00:40 PM

*Sigh*. OP, you do realize that Aryan and Arian are two completely different words, with different meanings, right?

Too funny hehe. Although I imagine the OP wouldn't care much for the other either ;)


that little testimonial should shoot my profile ratings up through the roof!

A very cool assortment of interests! Long live Annie Lennox and Neil Gaiman!

OP, you have not responded to my question but perhaps you did elsewhere and I missed it. By his own words he is not going to be ready to marry for a while. You will be waiting a long while, and his sexual frustration is only going to explode (hmm wrong word choice), so how do you honestly think this is going to work out?? It seems like you are secretly hoping his frustration will go away or he will change his mind an marry you much sooner. I truly doubt either one. You need to use some of that Christian compassion and END this and join a Christian dating site or go to one of those singles events Church holds.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Hit me!
Posted: 11/5/2011 1:42:25 AM
Lots, of. negativity and, grammatical/punctuation errors.


I haven't a clue what I enjoy anymore and I don't know much about where I live to remedy that. I'll take the pointer on it not being positive, a lot of things are hard for me.

Honestly man it sounds like you need a life review more then a profile review. Not intending to sound like a d1ck, but it really seems like you have some things to work out before you pursue dating. Are you happy in general or depressed? Immerse yourself in hobbies and exercise and explore the town. Figure yourself out. Find enjoyment. Do this so you can share it.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 12:14:53 AM
Nytrix626 'pretentious intellectualism' are rather normal mundane words... heh.

OP I think they say that to you in those particular instances because they want you to stop talking. Maybe so you will kiss them, maybe because of you're annoying them.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
5 minute rule
Posted: 11/4/2011 11:44:27 PM
Too bad women don't give us a thumbs up or down at the 5 min mark to let us know the verdict. Save some time ^_^


the thought of sex never really crosses my mind with someone I've just met,

You're talking about the ones that didn't pass your 5 min rule?


nor do I judge anyone when first meeting them

Really?


Judgment: the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
I'm confused, can you help?
Posted: 11/4/2011 11:22:57 PM
So he ended communication after you showed up at his work uninvited(surprise). Perhaps he felt things were moving too fast after 4 dates?
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Check out my profile!
Posted: 11/4/2011 6:05:02 PM
Before I began. Are you serious?
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Frustrated!
Posted: 11/4/2011 4:05:53 PM

she certainly never brought up that she thinks he is just stalling to get the goods..

She is stalling to get the goods...which is why he is frustrated.

Taking the OP at face value it's in-directing being used as leverage. To him all he sees is marriage is a prerequisite to sex. So the fact that she is agreeing to stay in the relationship is essentially forming the ultimatum of 'marry me and you get sex'. He doesn't see the significance of the vow itself as he doesn't share the religious view. As the OP said, she felt religious guilt even in the beginning (and he didn't) of the relationship when they were sexual. Same situation again, he wants sex and she feels guilty.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Frustrated!
Posted: 11/4/2011 3:47:14 PM

I guess I have been waiting for him to make a decision to accept it or just leave. But, I probably should make that decision for both of us.



But, I was there during the good times and I will be here with him during the more stressful times. I think that's what relationships are all about. There will be times that I need to lean on him and vice versa.


So then you made the decision. You're staying.

He's sexually frustrated and you're celibate and you are waiting for him to propose. That's the decision in a nutshell.

Well all I can say is it's not going to be easy...

A better economy? What kind of timeline are we talking about here? A couple years before he wants marriage would mean a couple more years of sexual frustration... Do you think this can work? I don't.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 17 (view)
 
WTF is a good hearted man
Posted: 11/4/2011 3:31:22 PM

WTF dose " i want a man with good heart mean"

Someone who is a nicer guy then you are.

capiche?
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 13 (view)
 
WTF is a good hearted man
Posted: 11/4/2011 2:45:12 PM

If, on the other hand, other conditions also have to be met to lead to a positive outcome, the good heart condition is NOT a sufficient condition.

Wait wait wait. You're saying women will pass over the nice guy even though he has a good heart!??? But but but i'm a nice guy!!! Whhhhaaaaa :P


Same as the millions of men who want a * good hearted woman or women * if they are to stupid to spell it right with the correct sentence.

Are you entirely sure those are grammar mistakes? ;) hehe
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
When meeting someone for the first time
Posted: 11/4/2011 12:24:01 AM
^
Are you really that surprised that dude listens to Uncle? Now that surprises me ;) There is bound to be others... I agree Christ is a good shoot from the hip poster.

Also I wouldn't put too much weight into his source (if he has one). God knows there are player handbooks abound vomiting similar things.

No doubt he reads all these posts and it only reinforces his views in his own twisted way.


When first meeting a woman, what do you look for?

Well first, interest in ME! :) A positive demeanor second to that! I like to get the impression right away if she is a caring person towards...humanity. I don't mean that in too deep a sense necessarily. If she is rude to the waitress for not bringing the water soon enough, I lose interest quickly.


What's the first thing you see?

If she is quick to smile and laugh.


What's the point where you make the decision to move further, or leave it behind?

Oh I can't answer that really. After flirting for a while, with a good sense that she is attracted, I kiss.


What do you think is the most attractive part of a female?

Positive attitude. Humor. Ability to carry a conversation. Her butt. Boobs. Hair, eyes and lips.


What's the least attractive?

Religious incompatibilities. Different perspectives on socio-economical models. She likes Nickleback. She watches football instead of reading philosophy. Like Pepsi over Coke.


What do you do when you can't personally connect with the person

End it.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 26 (view)
 
hot and cold
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:01:49 PM

When you act like one, you get treated like one.
Decide which "one" you want to be, and own it.

Making-out makes someone a slut??

It takes two to tango. If she is a slut then so is he!... and if he is then how can he judge her for being one and as you say "treat her like the slut she is"?

Anyways.


I wrote to him on POF and he did respond but his message was pretty vague and he has still yet to text or call. Any insight anyone??

Was your message also vague? Did you ask him about a second date? You sure he didn't just send an equal response?

I think he is probably recovering from a hangover and doesn't feel chatty. Maybe he is interested and maybe he is not. You are investing way too much into this. 24 hours after a first date and you are stressing out that he isn't treating it like you two are committed...you would be too needy for me.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Quick review appreciated.
Posted: 11/3/2011 5:17:17 PM
Yep much much better. You really expanded on your adventurous spirit and made it sounds interesting and exciting
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Frustrated!
Posted: 11/3/2011 4:47:40 PM
I see your point. I suppose I just don't understand the process and the extent of someone taking such a vow. I mean it sounds like he just communicated "yeah I understand and I am willing to do that" whereas you probably had a religious ritual or something more substantial in general (not too mention it was your idea). I am not saying he is not to blame, I am saying he is equally to blame. I agree he was disingenuous, I am just surprised you would be surprised I guess. Makes me think you didn't really think it through either and you both jumped the gun. Either way, I think you should absolutely follow through with your needs, wants, beliefs, and right now they seem incompatible with his. He apparently does not have the same religious motivation as you so don't expect to change his mind.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Frustrated!
Posted: 11/3/2011 4:35:53 PM

During the 6 months of the non-relationship, we communicated on a regular basis and hung out here and there


Were you having sex in that 6 months of regular talking and hanging out here and there? If so, as silly as it seems, some would say you two didn't break up.


As far as my profile is concerned. I'm not looking for anyone at all, so it really doesn't matter. I'm jusst here for the forums.

So why does your profile have the 'dating intent', and why not just say on your profile 'here for forum only'? Just curious...


he knew the situation before jumping back in this relationship? Why come back?.

Did HE take that same vow??? If not then how are you surprised that he wants sex now that you two are "back together"?? How are you not of equal part in this "jumping back in"? On that point, why did you if you took the vow alone? I see inappropriate blame.

You either change your stance or he changes his, otherwise this is not gonna work. Really all there is to it.


I have kept my vow for 7 months now. Why break it now?

Then don't break your vow. Just realize it is your vow and don't be so surprised when a man expresses sexual interest in you prior to marriage. If you want to marry him then hell ask him...you're already being unconventional. If not, then breakup (again) and join a Christian dating site so you can find a guy with similar beliefs.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Review Me Please :)
Posted: 11/3/2011 3:08:39 AM

My target audience is almost exclusively isolated to 30-50 year old mature ladies.

Why? Are you the only person who is mature under 30?... of course you are ;)


NO COMMENTS THAT ARE INSULTING OR IN ANY WAY DEGRADING TO THE POST ARE NOT WELCOME.

Meh, you will get a profile review instead.


I'm from SoCal originally.

Great but what's the significance?


Very laid back and like the Austin social scene.

How is it laid back? Are you saying you are as well? This doesn't explain anything.


Not trying to get married right now but wouldn't mind having a serious long-term relationship at all.

So 2 years then a break-up? A "serious long-term" to many means leading to marriage. You are better off really defining what you are looking for commitment wise.


I prefer ladies who are mature and can actually hold a conversation. If the main thing you like to talk about is yourself please keep your messages to yourself.

Negative and accusatory. What's wrong with talking about yourself?? She is going to do that and so are you. That's kinda what you do in a "serious long-term".


I don't like drama... well I guess I already mentioned that in the title :).

You did yes. So delete it. Also, delete the headline. Write something positive instead.


Really am not too much of a smoker, but smoking does not bother me.

Then this was unnecessary. Delete it.


I don't go to all-night parties 24/7 like a lot of the young people my age so it's hard for me to relate to a lot of people in my generation. That being said, I see nothing wrong with going out and having a good time.

So what is "going out and having a good time" mean to you?? Explain that instead of the ...drama.


I truly dislike lying or any form of dishonesty and deceit. I would rather you tell me the truth up front and deal with it then find out you lied.

This could be expressed in a more positive light...


People have said that I'm a very driven person. Spontaneous, Ambitious, Energetic, Outgoing, Go-getter, Motivated... these are all adjectives I think would describe me very well.

She doesn't want to hear what others think or what you are only kinda sorta certain about. Just say it as it is. And give some examples to back up those adjectives.


-I'm not the guy

Delete that entire section and replace it with some actual information about your interests and hobbies.

Oh and get rid of your topless pics. They would rather see you being that mature professional you claim you are.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 13 (view)
 
The older the better?
Posted: 11/3/2011 2:52:51 AM

I feel the same way... perhaps with purer intentions but nonetheless I understand.

If you feel the same way then why would you say this??

I would encourage you however to do some soul-searching and seriously question your motive as to why you post and why you are looking for women in that age group.

You make little sense.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
The older the better?
Posted: 11/3/2011 12:55:05 AM

I don't know. I'd say mid 20's, early 30's. Most girls my age are immature. And I don't find that attractive.

You are not any more mature then those girls. At least your profile doesn't sell it. Nor does this thread.

I second Ableians post
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What Does It Mean When A Man Says?
Posted: 11/3/2011 12:40:27 AM
^
Ummm no. See a doctor.


After having sex with a friend of mine he told me I made him cum to hard.

So after he banged your friend you met with him for coffee and he explains that you made him "cum too hard" in an attempt to keep you interested?? Why do you care? If the meaning is good you will sleep with him again?
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Need opinion please!!!
Posted: 11/2/2011 10:51:17 PM
Well suze it sounds to me based on you update that he was having sex with other women and that's why his sex drive was "lower". Oh and not just with that long distance girl.....

Reflect and maybe you will see some useful info for when you screen the next guy :)
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Friends With Benefits?
Posted: 11/2/2011 10:38:02 PM

I do agree with a lot of what's being said but it's a lot easier to tell someone else to drop her like she's hot than if you were in that persons shoes and were attached to someone strongly by feelings and memories.

Yes and no.
It gets easier to drop them without looking back after you have more experience in these situations.


However.. I feel and have told her that I don't believe she's ever going to give me a second chance, and she'll often reply with "you don't know that".

If she often repies then you often sent it. Just need to say it once and then let actions decide what is true.


It's really a relationship again or it seems to be minus the label.

Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? I heard that from a friend when I was a freshman in HS. Still useful :)


But I have tried in many attempts to show her I've changed

In the case of being too needy/clingy the best way to show it is by not SHOWING it. Saying 'hey look at this non-clingy non-needy thing I just did for you' is missing the point.


and that I couldn't push her into spending more time with me by giving her guilt

Good. A woman should want to spend time with you because it's enjoyable, period.


I really feel it shouldn't be something we should have broke up over, but perhaps I couldn't have seen the error in my ways without it

It often takes a slap in the face.
What is break up worthy then? You two were not married. People break up when they feel they are not compatible. It's perfectly resonable for her to of made that decision based on whatever reasons she had. That's the way it works man. If you feel her reasoning was WAY OFF then maybe you should feel less attracted to her as a result?... yet you don't. So...


Relationships I would say all have rough edges, there's no relationship world of rainbows, unicorns, and fairy tales. But perhaps she feels there is.

She wants fairy tales and you are stubborn to acknolwedge fault and make change. Sounds like you are both needing that slap ;)


Outside of work and study I have no other life, I can't hit the gym anymore after my accident. And this area when I moved to it I met no friends here, it's a real one horse town. Fortunately I met her.

So you live in this crummy town because of this girl? I would have work relocate me asap if I were you.


But I honestly feel like even though it's not in her intentions, she's just going to string me a long until someone else comes into the picture

Which is exactly what I said before. Please reread my previous posts.


they're eventually going to try and put her in situations/introduce people that could be a potential date for her.

ummmm maybe? This is why she keeps you in her closet to play when she feels like it.
Stop waiting around for her. She knows she can get away with whatever and you will be there interested as ever... you have to drop that. Not only will that be best for you but she will find it attractive (if that's your goal).

Look man. You have NOT resolved your issues and she has not resolved hers. That's really what this is coming down to. In an ideal world both of you would take some time off and reflect.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 11/2/2011 9:45:21 PM
Every single girl I dated for an extensive amount of time became more physically attractive!


I tend to date pretty boys that are players

The problem was not that they are pretty.


and my relationships never last over 8 weeks

You shouldn't call 8 weeks with a player a relationship.


so I'm trying to switch it up and date interesting but average-looking men....

How about just date interesting men.

Your issue is not the looks. Something else you're missing in the screening process ;)
 
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