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 Author Thread: What to get my 4 year old........
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What to get my 4 year old........
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:10:57 AM
I have a 4yr old nephew, he wants legos, transformers, cars, dinosaurs, puzzles, mini hockey sticks, a leapster touchpad ...the list is almost endless :)
You could always go to a sears store and get a wishbook....flip through it with him
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Kids about to meet husband's mistress. Do I tell them?
Posted: 12/3/2011 7:48:52 PM
What exactly are you going to tell them? That Dad doesn't love you anymore, that you were unable to keep him happy so he went looking elsewhere? There are a million things to tell them...there are also more reasons than the ones that seem so glaringly obvious. Cheaters cheat. Husbands fall out of love. Wives find other avenues to tickle their fancy. Ya it hurts...and it completely and totally sucks. Is it fair of you to pour your heartache and anger onto your children?
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
child swearing
Posted: 11/10/2011 10:49:38 AM
I found that by forbidding something only made it more tempting. My kids know what words are or aren't appropriate in our house...they can swear along with a song as long as music is playing ( my son decided that singing' I am not a whore' by LMFAO was funny) and they are allowed a limited selection of cuss words as long as they are used in context :)
The F bomb is not one of their words, and when my daughter started spouting it, I gave her a time out everytime she said it. She sat on the stairs for about a week before she stopped
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 56 (view)
 
hockey vs dad
Posted: 11/10/2011 10:45:58 AM
I would ask dad if he would be willing to pick the boys up from hockey. That way they get to do their sport and spend time with dad.
My son plays hockey and would have missed his Xmas visit with his father in favor of hockey. His dad came on the scheduled day, stayed until the hockey tournament was over and then took them for his visit.
In our house, we have a hard and fast rule to learn team work. You are part of a team and you are there for your team unless you are sick or dying.
Its a pretty big decision to put on children, in this case I would ask what they really want, discuss the consequences of either decision and back them up.
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
drama
Posted: 7/11/2011 10:01:29 PM
well, in my opinion you got 2 good pieces of advice which don't seem to be what you want to hear. Why did you post this thread if you were only going to become defensive?
I've read many of your previous threads on your ex and his bat shit crazy girlfriend/wife. So I personally didn't need a whole lot more information.
My best friends son is 16. His father lives in the same city and he never speaks to his kids. Once in a blue moon will he text his son, make plans and then disappear for 4 more months. The boy has realized that it's his dad's problem...and not anything he has done. He no longer calls his dad on fathers day or birthdays and his mom has stopped suggesting he do so. He seems much happier not putting a foot forward only to be ignored.
There is nothing you can do about your ex and you must be aware of that by now. (you moving away kind of puts the onus of the kid seeing his dad on you though)

But hey! If you want to blame everything on the crazy chick go ahead. It may make you feel better :)
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
drama
Posted: 7/11/2011 5:59:36 PM
Your son is old enough to decide whether or not he wants contact with his dad.
Though, I would stop asking if he has heard from dad..... that is essentially just ripping the scab off the wound over and over. Know that if his father contacts him, he will tell you.
On a different note, quit blaming the dad being the way he is on the girlfriend....he is the way he is and as a grown man is capable of making his own decisions.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Relationship after baby
Posted: 6/29/2011 8:43:50 AM
LOL at the haters. She is looking for another woman in hopes of spicing up her relationship. :)
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How quick is too quick?
Posted: 6/23/2011 5:33:07 PM
My husband and I went for lunch at 1pm, went out again together that evening...he spent the night the next night and never left. We were head over heels for each other then and still are. We married a few days before we had reached 5months together....do we have doubts? Nope..none at all, we just knew. :)
Best luck to you my friend
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Crossing borders with kids
Posted: 6/23/2011 2:14:35 PM
When I took my son to mexico, his dad had to provide me with 2 letters of notarized consent. One allowing me to take him across the borders and another giving me consent for any emergency medical care.
Technically the letter of consent you write for him would include that you have knowledge of where the children are going to be.
I'm not sure that its mandatory though...just that you give him permission to take them to such and such place in the united states.
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Getting back with a EX
Posted: 6/22/2011 7:29:21 AM
If you took a jug of sour milk and put it in the garbage, would you take it out in a couple of weeks to see if it tasted any better?
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
When's it my turn?
Posted: 6/20/2011 2:44:03 PM
A fantastic relationship found me when I was not longer looking. I actually told him before our first date that I wasn't looking for a relationship and that I was perfectly content to stay single for another couple of years. We went for lunch and have been together ever since. Married 5 months later.
When you decide that you are happy and content in your life is when you will most likely find the perfect man for you.

Since when do men equate happiness? You can't depend on a man to make you happy you have to do that yourself
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Single and pregnant...what to do?
Posted: 6/17/2011 8:32:38 PM
I think you provided enough information in your opening post and didn't need to write a novel to inform us all of the lousy decisions you have made in you life thus far.
Take the time, prepare and learn how to be a mom before worrying about who is going to wanna date you with swollen feet and raging pregnancy hormones.
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
When to introduce my daughter?
Posted: 6/17/2011 8:12:54 PM
My children met my husband within the first week, same goes for me meeting his.
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Who is responsible for paying child care if you are the custodial parent
Posted: 6/17/2011 8:09:32 PM
You know your children best, and if you don't feel they are mature enough to stay home for 8hours alone you need to say so. (Mine are 10 and 8 and I won't let them stay home for 8hrs + alone)
Get over the vindictiveness and need to prove to the dad that parenting is tough. Protect your kids!
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Advise on messy child
Posted: 6/9/2011 7:27:21 AM
I agree with Janet. If I tell my son to clean his room majority of everything gets shoved under his bed...once in a while all of the clothes will hit the basket at the end of the hall. But if I'm specific and tell him to pick up all his dirty clothes; he meticulously picks them all up. Then I move onto the next job I want him to tackle (legos, cars, other annoying toys). I've learned not to tell him just to clean up his room because his vision of cleanliness is vastly different from mine.

Best advice from my point of view is to be specific. Give her a set list of tasks to accomplish in a reasonable (for her speed not yours)amount of time. Have her do a 5 minute pick up every night before bath time.
Remember all of our children learned about the 10 second tidy from Big Comfy Couch...where they were taught to stuff everything into and under a big couch....
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Haircuts and allowances
Posted: 6/6/2011 8:52:58 PM

Regardless of the consequences, my facial reaction was shock that a step parent would do this. Since everything was seemingly okay with the mom, no harm done.


I'm in shock at everyones attitudes towards step parents. If I went out and bought him a bike, or spent $100 on clothes for my step daughter would everyone still think I over stepped some perceived boundary?!

Just because I took initiative towards positive parenting doesn't not mean that I did anything wrong. People need to lighten up....seriously!
I am a constant parental figure in these children's lives.
Get ready for the shocker!! They even slip and call me Mom once in a while GASP! Quick, everyone get on your high horses and trash me for being loved and respected by children that didn't come from my uterus!

OT- Getting their hair trimmed is basic hygiene. As to the allowance, it's a privilege to receive it not a right. If it really bugs you that he isn't forking over the cash to your kids, or you don't agree with it....pay their allowance yourself.
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Haircuts and allowances
Posted: 6/6/2011 4:12:01 AM
Oh I'm sorry...I didn't realize this thread was solely to bash the OP for her decision or to trash the dad for being such an a$$. Apparently it's still an open form to trash anyone who doesn't live in the same small minded mindset.
Now I know why I've stayed away so long.

I don't live in a backwards society where the step-mothers are pariahs, apparently some people still do. I'm respected as a parental figure who is engaged in helping raise 2 beautiful children who may not be related by blood, but are in my life at the same capacity that my own 2 children are.
My husband didn't seem to think I was crossing any boundaries since I treat his 2 children as I treat my own. Their mother was appreciative...but I suppose that would be too big for many small minds to understand.
The fact that people choose haircuts and children's hair as a big enough worry in their lives to fight about need to learn how to live in a world where little arguments have no room for the bigger problems that face our kids.
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Haircuts and allowances
Posted: 6/5/2011 9:18:48 AM
This thread reminded me of an incident we had here a cpl of weeks ago.
My step-son came for the weekend, and I realized just how long his hair had become. I asked why his mom hadn't cut it yet (shes a hair stylist) he told us that he wanted to grow it out. He's 11 almost 12....I told him to get in the car and headed to the nearest salon and had it cut. It looked horrible, constantly in his eyes and his making it look gross and greasy with the gel and crap he had been putting in it to keep it 'neat' made me cringe.

So, I spent $20 to have his hair trimmed and achieved 2 goals. He didn't lose the length that he was working towards and I got the satisfaction in seeing a handsome young man with a cleaner hair cut.

So that being said, yes I think a parent sometimes has to step in and make a 12 yr old get his haircut. And I think you could have taken what your ex said differently. "Mom says alot of things" could also mean that Mom and Dad aren't always going to agree and no Mom doesn't always get the final say in everything pertaining to the children...
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Mothers day cards
Posted: 5/7/2011 6:54:35 PM
My mom always took my kids to get me a card for Mother's Day. Their dad is pretty much useless in that respect. But now that I'm remarried, we always take his kids out to buy their mom flowers and a card for Mothers Day and her birthday.
He also makes sure they have gotten a card or a little gift for me.
My children always get their dad a card and we mail it for Fathers day, and they send him a card on his birthday.
I think it is based on respect. If the kids are too young to get to the store on their own its up to the other parent.
 ~justsimplyme~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
MRI and anesthetic question
Posted: 2/12/2011 9:15:38 PM
^ you can buy the cream over the counter at any pharmacy. I do believe it's called emla cream :)
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Moving to another province with child
Posted: 11/24/2010 2:31:04 PM
QSD: My ex took my kids to Alberta last summer, the only way I would let them go was with the strict promise that they could come home as soon as they asked to come home. They were home after 10 days instead of the 3 weeks he had planned to have them.
I'd talk to the kids and see how THEY feel. Their feelings are more important right now than how you would feel about them being gone for so long
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Toddlers and their toddler beds
Posted: 11/10/2010 9:52:14 AM
good point. ^^ she should just let him sleep in her bed until he turns 5 and the fight is easier to handle.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Toddlers and their toddler beds
Posted: 11/10/2010 8:05:02 AM
By only letting him cry for 30 minutes tops, you have reinforced the fact that if he just waits it out, screams a little longer you will eventually give in. Put him in his bed, sit by his door. Everytime he gets up, put him back to bed...don't talk to him. Do this consistently until it no longer takes 2hours+ to get your boy to bed.
Don't let him nap in your bed, it's where he will expect to be allowed to sleep all the time.
My daughter napped until she was 4, my son only napped until just before he turned 2. Every child is different.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Bringing it into our home ....
Posted: 10/10/2010 5:49:14 PM
Yup, they can have a bowl of chips this evening after dinner while they watch tv or a movie.
For the candy, I would treat it as I do Hallowe'en....I buy it off the kids lol. Something like a quarter a piece or something. Then you can get it away from them, and they aren't upset by you taking something their Mom gave them. Just an idea :)
Good luck!
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Bringing it into our home ....
Posted: 10/10/2010 5:36:44 PM
Personally, I'd just stick with the "We can only control what is in our home" mantra. You really can't ask her to not buy her kids gifts, nor attempt in anyway to control how she behaves/treats them when she has them. Worry about when you have them and you will have less headaches.
My kids eat only junk with their dad, I reinforce the lack of junk when they are with me. It's all I am able to do.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Members viewed my profile, but how many times?
Posted: 10/5/2010 11:08:53 AM
why do you look at profiles?
Do you only click on the ones with the pretty girls in bikinis?
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
reasonable access
Posted: 9/19/2010 7:58:09 PM
I think you ask way too much of her. Why would you consider causing her more inconvenience than you already have? She already provides 100% of the day to day care of your children with no physical help from you. Yet, you have the balls to ask her to do even MORE? I hope she sticks to her guns and refuses to drive the kids any more than 5kms out of town to see you.
Hope loving your new/old 'wife' is as fulfilling as helping to raise and watch your children grow.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Breakfast In Bed
Posted: 9/7/2010 10:23:29 AM
I'm glad to not be the only one who dislikes breakfast in bed. I totally appreciate the gesture but breakfast period is not my thing, let alone being expected to force feed myself first thing.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
WOOT! Single dad that got the boy!
Posted: 9/5/2010 6:11:43 PM
The only thing I'm having a hard time with is the internet conversations with a 7 month old baby.
I could see it if the child was 2 or 3 and able to communicate with his parent, but at 7 months? Seriously.

Because of his age, these conversations are normally between the mother and I, and when I try to get her to speak with the kid only, silence ensues.

Of course silence ensues, its extremely difficult to converse with a child via webcam.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Is a new romance like a new pair of shoes?
Posted: 4/7/2010 9:35:26 PM
It made me giggle to read the title of this thread, I just changed my status on FB to reflect my feelings about a new romance...."after trying on all those pairs of shoes that gave me blisters and aches...I'm so pleased to have finally found a pair that fits! What a great feeling it is"

I'm more inclined to take an all in approach as well. I've found you learn more about people if you are open and honest about how and what you feel.

A great man once told me that 'life is hard....wear a helmet' :)
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Paying for teen's birth control
Posted: 4/7/2010 8:01:54 AM
My mom paid for my birth control until I was of age.
I asked her to take me to the dr, she did....she carried the prescription in her purse for a few months before she filled it out. By the time she did get it filled I was already pregnant.
Worst thing about the whole scenario (besides my lack of ability to use my head) was that I reminded her weekly to fill it out for me.

While I understand you wanting to teach her the responsibility, I wouldn't personally take the chance :)
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 398 (view)
 
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 4/6/2010 9:46:22 AM
I always offer to pay...whether its the first date or the last date.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 4/1/2010 7:17:00 AM
It's really rather simple. If you are honestly looking for advice on how to tell her...if this was just a thread to get her slammed, you did well.
I'd tell her :
"I understand that it's a choice you are making...but I would rather not be a part of that decision. I love you, but personally can't support that choice."

You don't get between 2 friends. It really is her story to tell, and I am sure she will look at you telling him as a major stab in the back. If you had to choose between friends....would you pick him anyways?
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Full time Dads when to tell
Posted: 3/30/2010 10:31:54 AM
Meh don't tell them...chicks dig men who keep secrets!

In your profile is the best.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How do you know he is interested...I don't want to be a bother!
Posted: 3/30/2010 8:16:20 AM
Well Op, if you have to ask he probably isn't :( sorry.
I've learned through major trial and error that he will definitely make it obvious if he's interested.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
So My question is, do I give her a little space since she has just broken up with her ex
Posted: 3/28/2010 2:35:11 AM
Hon? Why oh why would you want to be the one on her rebound? Give her a cpl weeks to a month to get over the last dipshit before making any moves....it will strengthen whatever possible bond you two may have :)
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Should this concern me?
Posted: 3/28/2010 2:31:50 AM
nope it shouldn't concern you at all actually. No one deserves to be in a relationship where there is so little trust. If you can't take your girl's (woman's) word from an hr away....you need to not date women who live an hr away!


but it may be my only way to find out if shes being true to me. I mean, other than simply stalking her.


Oh, and playing stupid childish mind games is better?!
/jmho
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Why would he do this?
Posted: 3/25/2010 9:01:49 AM
Op do me a favor...read the opening post as if it was your bestest girlfriend writing it. Think of what advice you would give her and follow it yourself!
I'm almost sure you would tell her to cut his nuts off or at very least to kick him to the curb.

You really didn't need anyone on this forum to validate your decision, you already know what to do.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
forgive or forget?
Posted: 3/25/2010 8:56:05 AM
" People will forget the things you say and the things you do, but people will never forget the way you made them feel"

Don't contact him, it's super tough but you need to get on with your life. You don't need that kind of man in your life :) let the old high school crush be the one to get cheated on next.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How come no one ever responds?
Posted: 3/24/2010 6:01:14 PM
It is all dependent on what your messages say and how you come across.
Get a profile review !
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 186 (view)
 
Beware: eHarmony sucks...
Posted: 3/19/2010 9:01:38 AM
I joined eharm for a free weekend, and was matched with plenty of guys. I've met one IRL and he was awesome, sadly we just didn't click.
I don't think eharm is a total scam...like any dating site, u need to take it for what it is
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
funny kid quotes
Posted: 3/18/2010 11:05:45 PM
The only story that really sticks in my head was when my daughter told me it hurt when she pee'd.
I was explaining that it's probably an infection, and that an infection is like a bug that's making her feel yucky.
K- "No Mom, its not a bug I got a private freeze. Like a brain freeze but in my privates...it's from walking in the snow with no snow pants on."
A little later she was in the bathroom, and I asked if it still hurts and what the hurts feel like.
K - "It hurts Mommy, feels like a bunch of bugs banging around in my bagina!"

I take her to the walk-in clinic, a young lady said hi to her...and she started her spiel...'I'm here cuz it hurts my privates when I pee! Like bugs in my bagina'
"Yea....hunny...its called your 'PRIVATE' for a reason.
I will never forget how serious she was when explaining her 'private freeze'
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Don't let others see that I have viewed them.
Posted: 3/17/2010 11:53:24 AM
Personally I couldn't care less who viewed my profile. If they viewed me and didn't message me, obviously they aren't interested. People put too much faith into who looked at them or didn't.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
no other parent in picture
Posted: 3/16/2010 6:20:51 PM

which may sound harsh but many men (myself as well) will see that as a positive/blessing

Sadly you are correct. I had a man say just before we ended our relationship that he wished my ex was passed on, as it would be easier to step in as a 'father' in my children's life. I wished him luck and that the door didn't hit his arse on the way out.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Imagine There Is No Religion
Posted: 3/15/2010 11:49:41 PM
^^^ I wish there was a 'like' button on here :)
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Easter Bunny
Posted: 3/15/2010 7:53:03 AM
For the last several years, we have started a new tradition of going to a big city. renting a beautiful hotel room and spending the long weekend with my brother and his family. The kids get a few treats in a basket...but no huge Easter 'gifts'. This year though, our city of choice is Vancouver and my son will be getting a ticket to a Canucks game in his basket
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How many others here are trying to have a relationship with a dead body?
Posted: 3/12/2010 9:51:26 PM
After reading the OP and thinking about it for a bit, I would have to say I'd rather date someone who played dead once in a while instead of someone who insisted on humping like a porn star every damn time u get naked. Got to the point that I looked for a camera after a while :) Seriously, it gets annoying after a while.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Switched at birth
Posted: 3/12/2010 11:24:26 AM
Heck yeah it would matter!
How would you feel if you took great care during pregnancy and came home with a baby who had severe FAS or a baby with other severe genetic defects? I'm a caring person, but I would be pissed!
I didn't spend 27hrs in extreme pain to raise someone else's baby...sorry
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
What a Great Job Canada!!
Posted: 3/1/2010 8:06:33 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed the Olympics from start to finish. The only thing that makes me happy that they are over, is I don't have to listen to people b!tch and moan about them anymore....well I wouldn't if I stayed out of the forums.
If you didn't get any sleep there are some magical devices called "ear-plugs" you can buy them cheap at any drug store...or even at a corner gas station!
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How to maintain energy with 8 month old?
Posted: 2/28/2010 6:18:27 PM
A vitamin B supplement will help you immensely!
Pay no attention to the haters on here, they are trying to get a rise out of you...don't give it to them!
Sleep when baby sleeps, cut out a night time feed...at least one.
 
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