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 Author Thread: problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
 bbbuyguy
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 103 (view)
 
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 5/1/2019 2:32:00 PM
I like to dance, but I'm not in the habit of going out routinely dancing. I did have a surge of desire for a few months last year, but the novelty wore off. At that age where loud music doesn't appeal to me because you would like to actually talk AND hear the person.

I'm more of an outdoors, hiking, kayaking kind of guy. Outdoor BBQ or Lake party kind of guy. Should I go out dancing, it's when I'm already on a date. :) It's fun (for me), but on occasion. Guess it's my age. Not much of a night clubber. lol I'll see a tribute band on occasion, but that's about it.
 bbbuyguy
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 91 (view)
 
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 5/1/2019 6:41:13 AM
My conversations with women usually run along the lines whatever shared hobby or experiences we have. If it's about hiking/kayaking, we go down that route. If it's about other interests, we discuss that and so on and it's usually a fun and not too deep of a conversation. It's good for a starter or an ice breaker.
 bbbuyguy
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 88 (view)
 
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 5/1/2019 4:17:37 AM
Sounds like a loaded question.

I'm not sure what posts you are referring to. Of course the operative word is "attractive". I've noticed you inserted "attractive" in scenario B, but not A. I might add that attractive is also subjective. I'm sure both situations would be appealing if the woman found the man attractive...to her.

I've known long term relationships to come of 2-hour long conversations that don't include dancing. There are some women that don't like to go dancing.

A lot of variables to consider.
 bbbuyguy
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 83 (view)
 
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 4/30/2019 8:46:11 PM
"Being fun" is relative. It's subjective. What's one's "fun" could be another person's "fun".
 bbbuyguy
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 73 (view)
 
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 4/30/2019 10:52:32 AM
I'm starting to think online dating is turning into the whole "kid in the candy store" thing. Chasing the end of the rainbow. That fleeting dopamine rush...the same kind of feeling when pulling the handle on slot machines is the best comparison I can come up with.
 bbbuyguy
Joined: 4/25/2019
Msg: 71 (view)
 
problems with time wasters and unexplainable vanishing
Posted: 4/30/2019 8:22:26 AM
Typically this is usually a subtle experience with me. Usually it goes along the lines of it being a "nice date", and I'd get the fade if I went for a 2nd date. If I can tell there isn't a connection, I move on.

Anyways, I must have spent around 2 to 3 weeks talking on the phone and texting with this woman. We didn't meet sooner than that because she had scheduling and had stuff scheduled when she had her child. But we really it off talking on the phone numerous times. We finally met in person, surprisingly, it was like I've known her a long time. Nothing changed between pre-meeting up through meeting face-to-face.

The chemistry was through the roof, she was touchy feely with me on the arm so I saw it going somewhere. We really clicked!

When I walked her to her car, she said that I looked much better than I did in my photos, and I KNEW I had the next date on lock! I asked her if she'd like to get together that same weekend, and she said "Yes! I'm available all weekend!"

So when I contacted to plan things for that weekend, I didn't get a response (left voicemail). 2nd time I texted her, she DID respond, but apologized and said it's been a "hectic week" with work and her friend being in the hospital (she was visiting her). I apologized about her friend and hoped that the friend got better. Then I mentioned that so-and-so was happening that weekend, and if she would like to join me.

I got the crickets. Dead silence. Ghosted. From hot to cold. It irritated me a bit that we had this time invested in getting to know each other and her leading me to believe she's into me.She put on a good act apparently. I almost wondered if she went into a personality transformation. lol
 
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