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 Author Thread: Going Gray and loving it
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Going Gray and loving it
Posted: 6/6/2015 1:17:51 PM
I just had a true test... my daughter who moved to LA came home to visit and celebrate my 60th birthday with me... she knows I have been growing it out and we have discussed the stages I've been going through. She got to see it the first time in a year and a half, and LOVES my hair... I was honestly afraid that she might worry that I am aging or whatever, but nope she likes it and approves... I am so past worrying about what other people truly think, and most all who know me do approve and see me enough to tell me the truth if they thought it was "aging" me, and some aren't ready to approach what I'm doing... but most of my friends are younger, and when I was their age I felt the same..

If a man steps into my life and say's hey you should/prefer that you color your hair, I am likely to see a red flag with the relationship.

I do feel its up to the individual on what they want to do with their crowning glory, not saying anyone should go natural, but I have been pretty excited about my choice and sort of wanted to throw it out there, and feel hey maybe we need a over 60 thread... lololol

I intend to change the attitude of gray hair on older women, I am certainly not my Grandmother with the short tight curls... God love them... and a woman can be sexy with silver hair...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Going Gray and loving it
Posted: 6/1/2015 6:28:44 AM
Micki,

I think that is what prompted me to try gray. The constant hassle and inconsistency of the color.. The every 2 to 3 weeks of cover up... the expense, knowing that realistically anyone looking at you know at this point that you are covering gray... My Mother had beautiful hair, and looking at the older women in fashion and older models have gray hair.. I thought to myself, when I was 50 I wasn't ready to do it, but at 60 I am... I still plan on having long hair, having it styled and changing up my make up.. but I was blessed with fairly youthful looks and someone who doesn't cave into acting or dressing "old" like our grandmothers did, it can bring about a new age... I am past that crisis of getting older, and I am trying to be honest about who I am.. I am not surprised with those who can't see it for themselves, I went through that phase and passed it... Thank goodness..

I have been here on POF for years now, not always "here" so to speak... never found what I was looking for, so why let this hinder my decision... the other thing I notice is that some haven't changed their profile pics in years either...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Going Gray and loving it
Posted: 5/31/2015 12:37:27 PM
I am still in the process of growing out the color... earlier on I did color my hair for years actually every natural shade out there... I decided to be happy in my own skin so to speak, and we do get older... I have no criticism towards those who still wish to color their hair. I work at a hospital and they don't seem to care if I color or not as far as my career goes. I see many embracing it as a matter of fact. But I think it depends on the business that you work at and what they are trying to reflect... I might feel differently in that situation. I have been pretty excited to see the outcome of my hair. My hair dresser seems to feel that I have the right texture, skin tone and thickness to pull it off... she hasn't tried to persuade me to color it... but it takes a year or so, and many trips to cut out color.. you can't take the easy way around it...

I guess it it narrows the dating field so be it... I am looking for the "right" man I don't need dozens...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Going Gray and loving it
Posted: 5/30/2015 6:35:06 PM
I decided to try going Gray, it seems to be pretty hot right now for young and older.. be it Kelly Osborne or embracing who you are at 60 like myself, what do women feel about this, and what do men feel about this... its a new era, a new kind of purple if you desire.. we are not the blue hairs of our grandparents... tell me what do YOU think?????
 pixy dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Guy 'forced' me to agree to a date?
Posted: 1/11/2015 12:48:33 PM
Its been a few months now since the original post, but its a good one because meeting in person can be an issue with a lot of women in particular... I do recommend when the time is right to do so in a well lit, public spot because you can't be too careful... it can be very disappointing when the looks, chemistry etc isn't there, but you give a person a chance because something in the conversation attracted you to begin with. UNLESS they are deceiving you with a photo.. that can be one of the most disappointing moments when it doesn't come close to who you are sitting across from.

I do get why a man wouldn't want to be put off, especially if its been his history with the women here... I usually have men wanting to meet up sooner rather then later as well... I think they don't want to waste time, invest emotions or something just emailing,texting, talking over the phone.. men tend to be visual .

But when someone who supposedly understands your recent break up and your emotional status starts pushing, its not going to go well in my opinion even if you like them on the surface. It comes across controlling and I doubt it stops at the push to meet.

Go with your gut, what your boundaries are and do what is comfortable. IF the guy can wait a reasonable amount of time, then meet up.
 pixy dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 99 (view)
 
views on dogs living indoors
Posted: 1/11/2015 12:27:27 PM
I would say it would be a problem for me living with someone can't tolerate my dog in the house... my dog is part of the family... I am not bent on living with a man though so I would continue to live apart unless it became a issue in my home and then the guy would have to go period.. he is entitled to do what he wants in his own home but not in mine...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Does one fare better with a paid membership here?
Posted: 10/15/2013 4:54:34 PM
When I first joined the site it was free... so many of the features that you pay to see at one time were free.. I think this is what gets to the old timers on the site.. So far they haven't taken it away to the point where you can't communicate at all which most of the other pay sites tend to make you do... you are in your own little box of solitaire...

I don't judge those who choose to pay, what it does tell me is that they are serious about finding someone... but the plus side of those who are free members is that now I will read the message out of curiosity because I know you can't see if or when I read it.

I would imagine what might have changed is how far down the line your profile is posted for anyone to see it anyway.. I do miss being able to see who put me on their favorites list.. or how many there are... but it takes the pressure off when they leave your favorites and you are left wondering why..
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 619 (view)
 
Women...would you pay for sex with a man?
Posted: 10/14/2013 10:41:30 PM
No I wouldn't ever pay for sex... as the women say, and know, we don't have to, there is a man ALWAYS willing to bed you ...

If not, there are vibrators and its not complicated..

Funny thing a guy friend of mine had wanted to buy a sex doll at the tune of $6000 or so... it sure looked real, and you could pick her hair color, hair down below, her outfit, and makeup... he was kind of cheap though... so he bought a bu*t instead... he had a friend that wanted to go in halvies on the doll, and share her, now to me that WAS creepy...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 149 (view)
 
sex: how soon is too soon?
Posted: 10/14/2013 10:18:56 PM
Well Dawn, I did let him know gently that I wanted to get to know him before jumping into the sex talk. We haven't even had a date yet, and I'm not really afraid of how I'm perceived by him if I did sleep with him, its a matter of wanting to get to know him better before sleeping with him..One thing I've learned about hopping in bed to soon, is that I might not really like the character of the man later, I certainly don't want to have regrets. I also feel that jumping to soon side steps getting to know a person. The pressure of expected sex at every meet would get in the way of that... I have evolved from being newly divorced at 30 from the only man I had ever slept with and married to having the party girl sex to see what I had missed to wanting to find love... sometimes great sex does not equate love, and it dilutes the water of finding love. I don't want to stay to long because of great sex and no personality... Thats not what I want at this point in life... I want companionship, and I want to go at a slower pace.

I will say that this man might have other issues since he had heart surgery and made a point of telling me that he had the blood pumping of a 25 yr old... he asked me if I doubted that... I told him that it hadn't really been something that I thought about with him and that I take him at his word, I just want to date and get to know him first... welllllll.... I haven't heard from him since...

I am disappointed to be sure... and I am not sure what on earth happened... men of 58 perhaps have more to prove then a 30 yr old man, or perhaps he just wanted sex... I have no idea... but sense he brought up his blood pressure I'd say he MIGHT have some insecurities.. I am sorry for him, because I am a wonderful woman who would work with that if so.. but oh well... life goes on and there are other men...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 126 (view)
 
Is there such thing as too many sex partners?
Posted: 10/10/2013 3:44:39 PM
I personally know a man who had esophageal cancer due to the HPV virus. That is a pretty wicked bit of cancer as well... he suffered terribly through surgery, chemo and recovery. so Oral sex with men or women leaves you open to exposure.. so for the very small chance that a person can get the "wrong" strain of HPV is it really something that you want to mess with? Its not a minor STD... and yes it is the contributing factor to cervical and esophageal cancer...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 121 (view)
 
Is there such thing as too many sex partners?
Posted: 10/10/2013 11:04:45 AM
I don't think its anyone's business to even ask that question... I think the real question is how promiscuous are you? Again, not really a fair question because it doesn't allow for someone to reform their ways if they choose to. There is "get even" sex perhaps more with women I don't know for sure, but hopefully people evolve from their past. One direction or the other... I care about whats going on today in a partner's world and I want honesty if I am not the only person they are sleeping with.. again condoms would solve that issue up to a point... STD's are also more of a question I might ask and as someone stated it happened with the first girl he slept with.. I have known honest loyal people end up with Herpes so its not a skank disease necessarily... but we are in control of our own health and outcome... you do the best you can and move on... but I'm not letting someone back me in a corner with a number... so yes at my age it means its been more then 5....
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 316 (view)
 
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 10/10/2013 10:30:52 AM
yes a gal/guy who can chew with their mouth closed & quietly would be a great start.... I don't care for lip smackers myself.. LOLOL and its amazing how that simple act of manners seems to evade people's logic...

I guess I will just have to see where this goes with this man I just met, he's made contact and following through on something he volunteered to do so I feel much better. Its not so much that he is doing this for me, its that he wants to do this for me... I don't care to second guess someone I just met, and want to be fair, but sometimes it feels like a test when you are pushed beyond your comfort zone..
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 135 (view)
 
sex: how soon is too soon?
Posted: 10/10/2013 9:21:39 AM
Thank you all for your responses, and I have been able to sleep on it so to speak... and the responses are logical and it helps to hear that what I want isn't all that crazy... being 58 and in the dating game does seem to change the dynamics of dating, I lost my virginity long ago... I have had my ONS in the past and yes, usually I am not concerned about the relationship aspect when I've done it..

When someone presents themselves to be in search of a one and only in their life and I am in search of the same, it does change how quickly the sex talk or the subtle innuendo's should come into play, I prefer it to happen AFTER we've had sex. I know I shouldn't hang the generalization of what men might do or not do to figure out if a woman LIKES sex, but I do hear in the forums that men don't want to get stuck in a sexless relationship. I am hear to tell them that women do want the same thing.

I won't play games and I did let him know to slow down, he seemed to be understanding and told me that we have many things in common... its just that now it appears he pulled back. Maybe I am reading to much into it as well... and we will see.

I haven't dated much in the past couple of years and moving forward whether its him or a new man, I am not sure how to deal with this... other then just being honest and I'm not all that clever in how I present it, I'm straight forward.

So yes, I do need to address how its made me feel, and its not good, its pressure and I'm not comfortable with it.

No he hasn't fixed my car but has offered to. I was really genuinely endeared that he offered. I am not expecting it and don't want a price tag attached. Its a simple matter of replacing the cable clamp things on my battery and spraying red stuff to stop corrosion... I can find someone to do it, so its not expected..

In the end sex is a wonderful and intimate exchange with someone that you want to be with and I just want to make sure that this is a person that I want to invest my emotions in... I can't do that when its pushed too soon...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 313 (view)
 
Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u?
Posted: 10/9/2013 9:45:30 PM
I just met a guy who I am very attracted to and yes, I can see myself having sex with him... but we haven't really gone out yet.. he is already talking about sex... I let him know that I'm HAPPY that he sees me as desirable as I do him but I'm waiting in order to get to know him better... I have no intention on waiting until marriage, and not even thinking of marriage, but i am wanting a exclusive relationship. I think sex to soon ruins a lot of the getting to know each other part of courtship. Its as though finding out about you stops and all the yummy, delicious thoughts that run through a mans head doesn't equate knowing who I am...

I guess that is what is very confusing... I think that is the real question will a man wait or are they seriously going to get upset if they wait more then two dates... I am just thinking that women are the ones to control how soon this happens... because men are ready to climb on board at the gate...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 129 (view)
 
sex: how soon is too soon?
Posted: 10/9/2013 9:20:37 PM
I am resurrecting this thread because I don't want to hear that I started a redundant thread..

I recently met someone and find him adorable, and for the first few messages things were going in a way that made me comfortable and I feel that he is trying to get to know me... we have met in person and gotten past that, we are both attracted and he still is charming.. the problem is now the messages have gotten sexual overtones, not crude mind you but you can't even mention cobwebs where he was making comments about clearing out my cobwebs.. I don't plan to have sex right now and I won't until the time is right. I am attracted to him and told him so but that it would not be happening YET... that I didn't want to offend him, but that because of the remarks I feel I need to let him know that I want to know about HIM before the sex talk... now I think I've upset him...

He did say that he is wanting sex but the difference is that he wants ONE sex partner, a relationship... that is what I want, and that sounds great but I feel pushed. We have only been flirting for a couple of weeks. I am disappointed that the getting to know you conversations have been taken over with the sex talk.

SO do men do this to figure out if you are a prude that will dry up? IF so, I can't see that it will get them anywhere so soon in the meeting... not with me anyway. I can't believe that I'm not the only woman to feel this way. He seems great, he is willing to come fix a little problem with my car, and we haven't had a date yet... I didn't ask he offered... I don't exactly feel right about it until we at least go out on a date first. We are the same age. We have a mutual friend who passed away and have met due to a special event that this guy is setting up for our friend. so that is the commonality that we share..

It has been a long time since I've tried dating, and I feel clumsy with steering the conversation to something I'm more comfortable, I also don't want to play games... I am horrible with the flirting games ... ugh.. just want to say slow down... without making he or I feel foolish...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Facebook and Women
Posted: 9/17/2013 9:17:06 PM
I haven't moved any conversations over to FB... but I have 600 and its not ego its games, some I never talk to but they play the games and I don't have to bother anyone who doesn't play the games.. so its not always about ego that someone have hundreds of friends (I started out with 500 due to Vampire Wars)...

but if it was to try to date someone and it fizzled, I would just delete myself and move on...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Stalked him on another dating site.
Posted: 9/16/2013 1:44:20 PM
This is what happens when someone is a newbie on a dating site, they take correspondence back and forth before meeting. It can be very flattering to hear that you might be everything that they are looking for but honestly you're both on that fantasy level of infatuation and hope that this could be the one. I think its why so many people choose to meet quickly in the future to avoid the letdown of fantasy land.

I wouldn't even begin to expect someone to drop everything on a hunch, and perhaps its a red flag that they weren't honest about being on other dating sites, but its not a cardinal sin either. It wouldn't stop me from meeting them.

To put it on the other foot if a man asks the OP for her full name, place of work, birth date before meeting me I'm going to move on... that would scare me, and OP don't give so much information about yourself, meet in public places let people know where you will be, and maybe have someone give you a call but in order to be safe you don't need everything, and chances are someone who is ruthless already has the lines down and will give you all kinds of false information...

I think she is riding on the tail of a miserable breakup...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Dating a Suicide Survier
Posted: 9/15/2013 6:36:07 PM
I would say that if she died in Feb of 2013 that he is still deep in grieving and needs to hold off on thinking of dating anyone else. He obviously isn't ready, even if he is lonely. Talking to friends can become uncomfortable when you've worn them out, or if you aren't working through the process of grief. Or stuck... continue with counseling...Fake it til you make it I'd say...my daughter has been going for over a year now and it seems to help her... I'm glad, for my son its different, and he is a different person... there is no time limit on grief...

I can't imagine ruining someone's night, by carrying on about it. For the person who said she was stuck talking to a man going on about finding someone to worship his dik I have to laugh about that... he had issues before she died... I get it, no need to go into the why's until much later... saying someone passed on should suffice...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Could some one please answer this
Posted: 9/15/2013 6:21:05 PM
The interesting thing I realize is that by the very act of searching for a date on the internet does entail some writing. The fact that we write a profile, have an email box set up sets the stage for some email contacts before taking the next step to hand out a phone number to a virtual stranger.

Say I meet a guy out in the real world, and he walks up and we chat and he asks for my number, well I don't know him really, and usually no I won't give him my number. I will meet him in different situations to see if I truly like him.

I guess its because in giving my number out to virtual strangers there have been times that in not being selective I've been stuck with someone calling me at all hours, or drunk dialing for a booty call... or when you say there is no connection they continue to call between other women they date to see if you've changed your mind about them...

After a few mistakes on handing out my phone number I've become more selective as to avoid uncomfortable situations in the future...

For a woman that is just how I feel.. maybe men are different...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Need a women's opinion about an ex
Posted: 9/15/2013 6:05:32 PM
If she is checking the ex's page every time she signs in to me that is obsessive behavior. FB allows you to set privacy settings so that you can't see what is put in a thread. So does this mean he has his page wide open to read or is she on his friends list?

Size of a man has nothing to do with how good the sex life was, if it was great that can be hard to compete with... but when its over its over unless she isn't into the current boyfriend..
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Mixed signals? Or just a dillusion of grandeur
Posted: 9/13/2013 9:13:00 PM
This girl is playing you... There is something very wrong with this girl... I'm still reeling over the idea that she took advantage of the guy in a mental institution... she will make your life miserable, you deserve better, move on...

You say you are nerdy, well I hope that means that you are intelligent, take a long look at someone who takes advantage of a patient in a mental hospital... she actually should be reported and not be working there... snap out of the idea that she is beautiful and perfect because she is a predator.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Could some one please answer this
Posted: 8/21/2013 9:30:20 PM
As a woman, I prefer to exchange a few emails to figure out if I really want to go the next step to exchanging a phone number. I don't believe in dragging it out but I do want to get an idea if I'm interested enough to give my number and then go meet him. I am not a "speed dating" kind of person, I mention that because I noticed that in Oct there is a event posted. I like to study a person first. Or perhaps go to an event and people watch the ones that show up. It tells me a lot on if I want to really invest my time.

Call it working in a bar for 13 yrs... I've seen my share of fools of either gender... just not worth my time...

Bottom line everyone is different. If someone wants to jet out the door and make a judgement call then let them jet... I prefer a few mind you email exchange to make sure there is a inkling of a spark of interest... THEN I will give my number...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How young is too young..?
Posted: 8/4/2013 5:07:35 PM
I would say at the very least keep it over 18 or keep it over the legal limit for alcoholic beverages if you are inclined to have a****ail. Nothing wrong with going younger if you have mutual attraction. It just seems that after the age of 21 over here in the states that it can be an issue to date someone underage, which is why I suggested the drinking age.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Dustin Hoffman's interview
Posted: 7/13/2013 7:31:16 PM
I am a huge fan of DH myself, and I listened to part of his interview, and felt he was being genuine. But the message he conveys is larger then he the man is. Which btw he hasn't been the typical leading man material in the department of looks but there is something so endearing about him that he climbs a few steps above the rest. As we all get older I think we are more aware of beauty, and how its treated in our society, because face it even the beautiful start losing that luster they had in youth.

Personally I think the message is that how many interesting and loving people do we pass by because we aren't immediately attracted to them, I reflect on our profile pics and how much weight they carry in how many hits we get... how many fudge on the pics and so on... so as a society we are slaves to beauty to one degree or another.. He just made a point of admitting to it...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Dating a Suicide Survier
Posted: 7/13/2013 7:16:15 PM
The OP has left the house, but most of us have experienced death of someone close to us. There is no real time frame for when we are able to cope and live on, it happens when it happens.

My ex husband and father to my children committed suicide two years ago. Even though we were divorced for years, he was my first love and my first, and the father to my children, I am sure people might not understand my level of grief or the magnitude of pain trying to help my grown children who haven't been able to move past it.

Suicide is such a horrendous thing to cope with, I am sure that the OP will be healing for a long long time. But at the same time I'd say to him that trying to go out on a date when you are feeling up to it, and perhaps say you had a girlfriend die, as there is no need to even go into how or why she died. It can wait until the time is right. We are very capable of dodging those difficult questions when we are new to someone until we are comfortable, and when someone can't just back off then that says something about that person, so take note.

The only way to move forward is to take baby steps towards it and to continue with counseling. The fact that he is in counseling should help him to keep the dumping on the new girl at bay...

Until someone experiences suicide I am not sure that they totally "get" it. I hope most don't experience it. but it is difficult to move past a loss that often times gives no closure... you have to find it within ...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
second fiddle
Posted: 6/22/2013 6:52:04 PM
Op,

I am agreeing with you on this... and I do think there are issues with people these days where it comes to addiction to the technology that phones offer... its like instant gratification... and I think he loves feeling important by the phone calls that he seems to try to squeeze you in on... ugh.. that would drive me nuts, and personally if a person has to be told that its rude its normally not worth your breath... common sense people please...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
best man ever, but trouble accepting his kids
Posted: 6/16/2013 10:09:01 AM
OP,

The reasons why you love your ex and want to marry him is how he treats you and I am sure how he interacts with others. This boy is not his, but for the same reasons you love him, he is showing his ability to love a child that was not his. This boy is a brother to this mans daughters... this boy is innocent. This boy would be divided from his sisters over summer break because you can't handle it? Its unfair to the boy.

This is no longer about the ex wife and her mistakes... its about being fair... if this child recognizes the man you would love to marry as his own dad, then taking him away from the Dad is wrong... Life is too short, and I guarantee you that if you walk away from this man that you will live to regret it for the rest of your life... you might feel you bit the bullet, but love is truly rare to find...

The question I would pose to this man is WHY would you allow another woman come between you and the boy you came to love and accept as your own???? Because if HE takes you on these terms, he will regret it for the rest of his life...

EDIT the OP left the house, because she didn't get the support she wanted... but to those out there who believe the way she does, take heed in what you demand... this is applicable to anyone who reads the thread...
 Pixy dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 101 (view)
 
First Date Exit Strategy
Posted: 6/5/2013 5:08:36 PM
I tend to try to meet someone for the first time at a public place for coffee or a drink... its the main reason why a dinner would be out of the question for me. I do not want to put that kind of pressure on myself or the guy. I am not sure if these type encounters are because they misrepresented themselves or chemistry wasn't there... I have dealt with both.

If you want to see someone sometimes try an event. Tell them you plan to be there and how great it would be if they could go also. That way its a group setting and perhaps seeing them interact with a group of people would give insight to their personality also. Chances are at these events they've been to them before and at least a couple of other people know who they are... I prefer meeting men that way myself, or perhaps at a bookstore... something like that... I don't take first meets as a date... just opportunity to make eye contact and say hi and see how it goes from there...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 50 (view)
 
How to date while in recovery
Posted: 6/5/2013 4:45:48 PM
I was married to an alcoholic, I went to Al anon for 7 yrs until we divorced. The one thing they told him was to change his playground and his playmates... meaning don't go into places that can trigger drinking... going to a bar can be a huge mistake if you go often enough... I used to bartend also, so I can safely say that bars are not a good place for recovering alcoholics to go... especially if the girl wants to party down and get drunk...

I would imagine that part of recovery is establishing new ways to have fun... and in your 20's lots of young people want to go out dancing and drinking... I can see the problem you might face at the moment.

Set your standards and I am sure that there are girls out there in your age group that can put things into perspective, that have goals to reach and weekly drink fests aren't part of it... keep your eyes open, work on yourself as your doing. The right one will come along...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 114 (view)
 
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 5/4/2013 3:52:33 PM
Looking at your profile pics OP what I see is someone who has a artistic nature. Someone who wants to dress looking hip and youthful, not offset by it really, but the one sentence that might be offsetting is the one where you say that you used to have a car , but getting rid of it got rid of the leaches... that shows another insight to you. Someone who is put off by "image" and what it represents to own that type of car... I'd venture to guess a chick magnet... so in that sentence you sound a tad angry. Or maybe how you view women in that you decided to get rid of the car. That might be making you unapproachable.

Those bullet points about yourself being a author, having a degree are appealing it sort of takes the place of the "little red corvette"... perhaps its in the delivery when you chat with someone, but yes, on here many are kids in the candy shop and there are too many choices... that is ALWAYS a consideration...

I know of several who have found what they were looking for here... . sometimes it is all about timing...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 7:37:16 PM
That would be immature, uncouth, and what happened to being a conversationalist? Hmmm I wouldn't answer it, and most likely look for a way to end the date... When you say early I assume you mean early on... the subject might be broached at a time when you have gotten past early... LOL... oh lordy if you've watched Reba there is a conversation on that very subject but by the time it came up they were both looking to do something about it...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Should I Be Suspicious?
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:52:57 PM
I have gone long periods of time not dating myself, I would hate to think that someone meeting me would judge me over it, and to be honest its a question that I would not know how to answer without saying to much on a first date. Could be he is busy, but like myself, one occasion was over a terminal parent, I took time off to care for her until her death. Another time it was because I went back to school after losing my job, just didn't have time. but its also something that you would rather talk about later down the line.

In this economy depending on the business he owns he may have needed to keep his attention on it... maybe nothing... but people have a myriad of reasons for taking time off from dating when other pressing matters come along, and it doesn't mean there is something wrong with them.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Is 25 too old to date an 18 year old?
Posted: 2/22/2013 4:06:57 PM
Personally I think you should find someone to date that have experienced more things then high school. She doesn't have the experience in life to know what she wants in her future. If you were 30 and she were 25 at least you would be on better ground... it would bother me if my daughter at 18 dated someone 25....
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/22/2013 3:57:32 PM
I see a trust issue with finding out that he buys other women's shoes online, which how does he locate them? Shoes for sale or websites of women walking around in shoes so a man can beat off and then buy them??? Its very confusing. The trouble with fetishes is that when they take over the sexual part of a relationship meaning they can't perform unless certain criteria has been met then that is when I don't want to deal with that fetish... his not having sex but here and there means he is into his fetish more then he is with you.

I speak from experience from a guy I was friends with and knew the women he dated, and after a time he could no longer perform with them because his fetish was more important then the relationship was. He would end up being turned off by them...

Its fun and games to sit back as a onlooker and seeing all of his toys and hearing about his fetish but it was another to consider him as relationship material. Yes at the end he wanted to date me, and I knew way to much about him to date him... he was a riot as a friend but not relationship material...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Torn need advice
Posted: 2/16/2013 5:49:39 PM
This is a very difficult situation to resolve. It sounds like you and the ex have been able to communicate well enough, and I am wondering if you have joint custody. Because perhaps with the long distance should you allow her to take him, how that could change visitation such as a couple of months every summer with you and certain winter breaks to keep your relationship close. I would have so much trouble allowing my child to move that far away from me especially if funds were tight. For me they would be. I would say if they make more income then they should help pay for the transportation back and forth to see you.

Its hard to split a child with school and everything, and they grow up so fast, this is a valuable time in his life because it is so short before he becomes a teen. Things going through court could be a lot faster if she agrees to work something out that you can live with.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Do you reply, to keep up your replies often response?
Posted: 2/3/2013 6:38:18 PM
Wow I had no idea there was a "replies often" I will have to go look....

Cowboy makes a valid argument... it doesn't prove much... and I too am baffled with someone who demands a rejection letter from me...but sigh if they insist.... LOL... not gonna happen... that would just open another can of worms...

I think any woman replies because something that was written perked her interest... and your pic... because I don't even open a email if I'm not the least bit attracted to the pic you have...

Sounds mean doesn't it? But I guess its one way of weeding out what you know you aren't going to be attracted to, which also means you should update your pic often just in case the one you put up just was a bad one...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
She says sex isn't important. What does that mean?
Posted: 2/3/2013 5:06:04 PM
How old is this woman? Is she in a sexual relationship ? If so, is the man impotent?
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 56 (view)
 
What kind of relationship are you looking for here?
Posted: 2/3/2013 10:47:41 AM
What if, someone has been here awhile, has met up with many people, but because of the kid in a candy store mentality they find that meeting quickly didn't really get them anywhere except hurt feelings. Then they sit and reconsider that perhaps through several emails perhaps to cut the odds in their favor, if this person gets to know me a bit better, by the time we meet they will see an essence of the real me behind the physical looks. Very few people live up to a two dimensional representation as with photo's... I think if more people would organize group meetings in public places and more people would show up it would really take the pressure off these one on one meet & greets, and allow for the natural unfolding of attraction while observing someone in a real setting.

I don't know which way is better, I'm not sure that people just want an e-relationship. Thinking that most are looking for love, the happy ending.

I still would prefer the real time vs online meeting and sometimes thinking friendship leading to love, because I'm just that old fashioned.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Im 47 She is 56
Posted: 1/27/2013 6:42:52 PM
Seems like you really care about this woman, and that is what she will see and feel, and if her insecurity is fading you are doing exactly what you need to be doing. Best wishes for a long lasting relationship for you both... hope it works out...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
dogs on dates
Posted: 1/5/2013 6:52:14 PM
If she were the one she would understand a sit down discussion on why she should leave her dog home. He has a "pet" agreement with a tenant and honestly that has to come first, and his allergies right up there with it. That is the lovely thing about living apart, she can have her dog at home when she comes to visit him. If she can't understand logic then he is going to need to move on.

No one should tell a person to get rid of a animal but the animal owner should respect how others feel about pets being in their home if they don't want them there... it would frustrate me to have anyone bring their pet when I have three already in the house... I don't drag my dogs out to other peoples homes and they aren't children...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 154 (view)
 
Would you date someone that is taking care of a elder parent?
Posted: 12/16/2012 5:23:27 PM
Both of my parents are gone now but I took care of my Mom until she died. I guess I don't care what people think in that situation nor did I really have time to date nor did I have the energy to worry about it. I had a daughter in school and a brother who is mentally retarded. So my hands were full. Someone who cannot understand is better off moving on because caring for a parent is the last thing you get to do for them, something you should feel honored to do for them. I miss my parents every day now that they are gone... nothing and no one will ever replace that place they hold in your heart.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Should I continue chasing this girl?
Posted: 12/16/2012 4:45:22 PM
Holidays are hectic and finals should be near, but it doesn't sound like you are much of a priority on her list. Keep looking because late nites in make out sessions and her partying with friends on a Friday nite sounds like even if she dated you that she would not put you high on her list... life is to short to wait around for long.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 576 (view)
 
bald guys
Posted: 11/28/2012 7:29:48 PM
The first time I dated a guy who was bald was when I was in my early 30's. I have to admit before he came along I doubted I'd be attracted to a bald man. He cured me of that... we didn't work out but it had nothing to do with his not having hair...

Baldness has nothing to do with my attraction to a man it has to do with the whole package... so yes, I find bald men just as sexy as men with hair...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Woman doesn't like penis's and semen, would you date her?
Posted: 11/11/2012 4:49:51 PM
Its not worth any relationship that would imply that a body part was offensive to the person I loved and wanted to have sex with. That had to really take a toll on your self esteem.

As to her issues? Had she seen one before since she wanted to wait until marriage? It would imply very little experience with perhaps someone persuading her that men were dirty to enforce chastity. Hmm interesting...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 80 (view)
 
I always have to beg him to have sex, getting tired of that
Posted: 11/4/2012 6:42:13 PM
This can be an issue for men or women, whether or not the OP left the site, but I will say that I believe that the guy wants to degrade her and control her and enjoys ruining her self esteem, if someone is in this situation they do need to get out because this situation is sadistic in nature. This is a person who no matter who they are with even if the next woman is tall and thin, who wants to deliberately hurt someone in this way... why not just leave if you aren't attracted physically? In this case its because they enjoy what they are doing.
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
best friends quarrel over POF guy
Posted: 10/23/2012 4:16:18 PM
I think most girls understand not to step on toes where men are concerned. You wouldn't have to be on the best friend level. The fact that she is clueless that you would be upset would give me a moments pause. She sounds to me that she has a unhealthy competitive view of the both of you. Could end up being a single white female sort of thing if she moves in. A year isn't a long time getting to know someone. Most still are able to hide the skeleton's. Although she allowed you a peek preview by giving you her password...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 9/23/2012 7:32:45 PM
I don't understand putting a carat requirement on a engagement ring. I do understand after a period of time wondering where the relationship was going if I wanted marriage. And feeling that it was a dead end situation if the conversation seemed to be stringing me along. Lots of factors that we are not privy to in this situation.

Now don't give me a ring and lead me to believe its real if it isn't... that isn't exactly honest... that has nothing to do with being materialistic. If he felt pressure to make it a 5-6 carat he should man up and tell her NO... that is the first financial conversation that should let him know what the future is going to look like. I agree who on earth could afford it???? not many of us I'm sure...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 342 (view)
 
can a woman get spoiled by a BIG penis???
Posted: 9/8/2012 6:22:41 PM
Personally I would say girth rather then length...but honestly in my opinion size only matters when it is abnormally small..

The brain is a magnificent sexual organ, get a woman aroused and the sky is the limit beyond size...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
How far to cast you net
Posted: 9/8/2012 5:41:54 PM
With the price of gas I'm staying close to home... my city is large enough, Mr wonderful should be right around the corner...
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 74 (view)
 
does silence = no interest?
Posted: 9/8/2012 5:40:32 PM
Closure... ugh... we love it don't we? and it rarely happens.... I can't count the times I or friends of mine (several) were upset over not having closure. It seems to be human nature to duck and hide rather then doing the right thing and just letting someone know when they aren't feeling it anymore.

I think you provided yourself the closure by borrowing a friends phone to call him and have him answer... the fact that you hung up tells me that you accepted that closure...

You have your whole life ahead of you... keep looking...
 
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