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 Author Thread: You Met a Married Man ... What Would You Do?
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 156 (view)
 
You Met a Married Man ... What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/18/2010 1:15:02 PM

People are making it sound like the OP is the bad person, not the cheater.

I didn't get that impression at all. What I'm reading (including my post) is most of us are empathetic, telling her to move on and not try to reek havoc on an innocent person.

Yes, it may be beneficial to his wife to know what kind of a person she is married to but who gave anyone the right to hurt another person just to either make ourselves feel better or trying to warn her what kind of a man she is married to.

As I wrote in the post before this one, my friend tried to clue the wife in (but had an ulterior motives UNLIKE the OP), and it backfired in her face. This upset my friend more because the wife didn't listen to her and drop her adulterous husband. Hence, more anger to my friend.

Whether it works the same way for the OP, who knows. But I guess I would have more pride in myself. As much as I would be hurt, I feel that I don't have the right to intervene in someone else's life or marriage, no matter how hurt I was or what the husband had done to me and his wife.

But...it is just my opinion.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 150 (view)
 
You Met a Married Man ... What Would You Do?
Posted: 12/17/2010 8:57:29 PM
OP, I do understand how hurt you must feel but telling his wife may not have the outcome you are hoping for.

A friend of mine had a relationship with a man that she thought was single. There were so many things that didn't add in my mind but my friend refused to listen, coming up with excuse after excuse. When if finally came out that he was indeed married, she got all worked up, found out where he lived..(two year relationship and had never been to his home). I know...not too bright! Went storming over there h*ll bent on getting back at him for the hurt she was feeling.

She hopped in her car, went to his house, knocked on the door and proceeded to tell the wife that she had been having a full relationship with her husband for the past two years. The wife was shocked, looking like she saw a ghost, turned to close the door but not before she told my friend that she was a whore, a home wrecker and to never set foot on her property again and if she did, she would not hesitate to have her charged for trespassing.

That wife is still with her two timing husband. So my advice to you would be to please put this experience behind you, learn by it, never repeat it and move on with your life because "the road to hell is paved with good intentions!" He will get his...you aren't his keeper. No one gets away with anything and if it's not you, it will be someone else and maybe not as sensitive as you. Keeping this upset is only ruining your life and you've already spent too much time thinking and losing sleep over a dirt bag that doesn't deserve a second thought.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
why do people cheat
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:12:57 PM
People cheat because we have forgotten to respect ourselves and others. There are no boundaries anymore.

In this promiscuous time, we've forgotten the art of "self respect, honor and self esteem". People cheat because why be faithful to just one when so many can be used at once. If you don't want to be cheated on make sure you totally know and trust your partner before you give them your heart and body.


how do you deal with all the emotion crap he has thrown my way??

All you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and hope that you've learned a hard lesson for the next guy who steals your heart. I'm sorry that he's put you through all this pain. To take some pain away just know that you're not alone. Most of us have felt the deep pangs of pain from cheaters.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 790 (view)
 
would you date a stripper?
Posted: 3/15/2009 2:01:11 PM
^^^^^^LOL...G. you kill me!!!! ^^^^^

Yep, I can see my mom doing that if I brought a male stripper home! Kiss on the cheek and Cement Boots !
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Should we share expenses?
Posted: 12/20/2008 6:05:25 AM
Definitely, she should be contributing. You are both in this together. Have you sat down and discussed this with her? If not, that should be your next move. It's not fair for you to be the one who pays for everything and as lone hawk said..."discuss things with her BEFORE you decide to undertake those expenses."

I don't know the laws in your State but here in Ontario, Canada...a new law passed in 2002 stating that if two parties are to live in a Common Law relationship and the house, boat or whatever (expensive or even non-expensive items that has been purchase prior or during a partnership) is in the name of the person who purchased it, goes with that person once the relationship has dissolved. If the relationship sours, then they leave with what is in their name and or what they brought into the relationship and are not entitled to anything that is in the other person's name etc.

Now if things are purchased together and in both names, then that has to be divided between the two of you. I think that this new law is very fair indeed and it makes me feel more secure in future relationships. Now if you get married, that's another story. I like this new law because it makes it very clear on who owns what if things go sour. It lightens the load of the Courts as the law is very clear.

So, heaven forbid...If you don't have a law like we do and things go sour in the future, you don't want to be sharing expensive items with someone who never contributed to them or has, but very little and will profit when they leave. If you are going to purchase any items together, make sure that both of you have put in equal values. And again, talk to her and tell her how you are feeling about this money situation. You share everything else, you may as well share your thoughts on expenses too. You aren't dating anymore, you are sharing your lives and that means money as well.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Darn
Posted: 12/19/2008 4:01:03 AM

sylvester 437...Never understood how people think they can pull that off....showing up 5 years older and 80lbs heavier than their profile pic.

That's always been a mystery to me too. What are they thinking... that it's ok to deceive someone just to get a date? It seems like the OP liked her anyway.

If a person has photos of themselves and that is what has attracted another, then that is what they should expected....but to actually deceive another and send photos that doesn't even resemble them now has Red Flags waving in my opinion. What else are they hiding or being deceptive with? That would be my main concern.

Nexthyme...As I stated before, certainly makes ME feel like a dope for defending her, when obviously the pic she sent out was something she did for others.

You did nothing wrong in defending her. You just stated your opinion on how you felt about the woman sending a semi nude photo. Even though the photo in question was an old one and looked nothing like her now, had nothing to do with how you felt on that particular subject and you are entitled to put that forth. I respect you for that. All you did was defend what you thought was acceptable even if I or others thought that it was not something we would do, you still made valid points and stood by them.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Best of luck tonight
Posted: 12/18/2008 2:45:05 PM
I am "so sorry" that your date didn't work out!!

She would have been much better off if she hadn't sent that photo. You wouldn't have been expecting one look and to get another must have been a let down. Maybe she sent the photo and wished she hadn't. I am sure she must have gotten the impression that you (and probably she was too) uncomfortable since the kids were your only topic of conversation.

If she just hadn't sent that photo...
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Red flag?
Posted: 12/15/2008 4:09:51 PM
Reference to Post 131

Given that the woman posted a 'rant' about being seen as a sexual object... can you really say that sending a semi-nude pic to a man she had never met was decent, tasteful, refined and sophisticated? To ME this is deficient in taste, lacking tact and certainly blunt.

ALSO...

This behaviour however IMO was in poor taste. That does not make the woman a bad person. Maybe she saves drowning kittens in her free time! It DOES, IMO, make her deficient in taste... which is not conducive to the type of relationship most people claim to want.

FunChick123...Thank You!!! You've made the point I was trying to make. I couldn't have said it better.

Babydoll
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Red flag?
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:09:51 AM
LOL...Bob, I won't even dignify your response with an answer, it's so...well I won't say the word and my responses to you stops with me here.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Red flag?
Posted: 12/14/2008 3:26:21 PM
Bob...why is it disrespectful to call you Eyebob, leaving out the 1 but Cdn-Iceman calls you Bob and you don't give him the "disrespectful" speech like you gave to me. He left out most of your screen name. and to call you "Bob", he doesn't know you personally. Isn't he disrespectful as well...but you didn't reprimand him for that. At least I used your name, only leaving out the number. Most of the time people who answer my posts just put down "Babydoll" without the numbers..I find no disrespect with that at all. It happens with all of us all the time.

Also, you took no offense to his opinions as they are the same opinions as mine. hmmmmmmm!

Anyway, I made my point and I'm sticking by it. Agree or Disagree or agree to disagree. This is all futile anyway. Just people's opinions. And we are all entitled to them whether we agree or not.

Now, back to the Topic...
I've really had fun with this thread and carry no animosity to anyone. I just can't understand or fathom why anyone, male or female, would send a partially nude photo of themselves unless they already know the person quite well..but not before you actually meet the person face to face. I hope they had a wonderful night...whatever they did.

Babydoll
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Red flag?
Posted: 12/14/2008 6:43:25 AM
To "1"Eyebob,

I didn't make a mistake with your name, I did it on purpose. I didn't think I had to put the "1" in there to make it clear who I directing my post to.

Ok, half naked then...semantics . Still not a decent way to make contact, no matter how you look at it.

As far as the STD's are concerned...I was commenting on MY opinion, not trying to be exact on YOUR words...just giving my opinion. You gave yours, I gave mine.

Whatever way you stir it up, the OP's opinion changed when that photo was sent...and again, hence this thread. Many people on here think the same way I do...I'm not alone.

As far as my opinion goes, that is why whenever I get emails from gentlemen, they've ALWAYS been respectful. I've never received one that I had to block. Hmmmmm, I wonder why that is...my guess is that if you come across respectful, that is who you will attract.

I am not trying to guess on what this woman was thinking and nor do I care, but no one with pure intentions will send a "half" nude photo of themselves and think the one who receives it, won't change his opinion about her...the photo being an innocent gesture or not. She hadn't even met him when that photo was sent.

Even if it doesn't go as far as sleeping together, I still feel that if a person had pride about themselves, she/he wouldn't send a photo like that or at least before you've even met the guy. Don't forget, she was the one who put on her profile that she wasn't looking for a booty call etc...then contradicts herself in one fell swoop by sending the photo!
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Red flag?
Posted: 12/13/2008 10:02:37 PM
Nexthyme
Oh PLeeeeez
What you aren't understanding is that we are Not condemning this woman at all. She knew exactly what she was doing. As you said...

There is not one of us that can say what is in the poor gals mind... YES, I say poor gal, simply because I think she is rather confused as how to attract a man in a healthy way, with out leading them to believe she just wants to be boinked.

So how do you know what was on her mind!! You are coming across like it's YOU who already knows. She may or may not want intimacy tonight as I DO NOT know what is on her mind...but she has given the OP that impression and what other impression could one get when sending a photo like that. I don't think she is that naive. No one is talking for her but you are doing a good job of it.

I think most men and women, if received a photo like that, would think the same way. As I said, obviously the OP thought it to be a "Red Flag" or he wouldn't have started this thread.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Red flag?
Posted: 12/13/2008 9:11:05 PM
You see Eyebob...Men have morals too. The two men above my post say it all.

Thanks boys for making my point. It's just not us women who think this way, men with values feel the same way.

Hmmmmm...I wonder what Geek is doing now?

Babydoll
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Red flag?
Posted: 12/13/2008 8:03:59 PM
Come on Eyebob, talk about getting carried away...sheesh!

If you had a daughter, age of consent or not...would you like her to take nude photos of herself and text them to a guy she didn't know and was to date that night? If you think it's ok, then that speaks volumes about you.

This has nothing to do with the 50's, 60's or the 70's...this has to do with pride and how one feels about themselves no matter what decade you are referring to... a person who can look into the mirror and like themselves at the end of the day. She left nothing to the imagination. Geek knows what he's getting tonight...no surprise there. It would be a bigger surprise if nothing happened and then we'd have a whole other subject to give our two cents to.

And yes...the photo had the right breast shown. Also, why did she ever waste her time to write in her profile that she didn't want booty calls etc.? She is contradicting herself.

The "free love" you are talking about....has produced so many STD's...there's so many more now than there was in the "Free love" days...I wonder why that is??? hmmmmmm

Nobody is beating anybody down...they are both consenting adults. We are just answering the OP's question. He MUST have felt weird about the photo as he was under the impression, by her words, that she was NOT into booty calls, anything sexual etc. and then to receive a photo like that...I gather it put him in a state of shock for a minute or two. I repeat...they are two consenting adults and can do what they want but when someone says one thing and does another...it makes for a RED FLAG moment...hence, the "Red Flag" question, not the repression of sex as you think we are feeling.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Red flag?
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:53:37 PM
Tonight's the night!

LOL...ok...waiting very patiently Cool Geek!
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
My Best Friends Brother, Not Sure What To Think
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:49:49 PM
I am so happy for you OP...I wish you and he all the best in your futures. This has made my year...bar none. AND...Better late than never! I love threads like this!

The best of Luck to you both

 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
My Best Friends Brother, Not Sure What To Think
Posted: 12/12/2008 8:54:50 PM
Why would your friend be upset because you want to date her brother?

The sister isn't the ex girlfriend! That would be a different situation if you were referring to a friend who happened to be the ex- girlfriend...but she is only his sister and knows you quite well as you said that you and she are best friends. She should be happy that you and he may be wanting a relationship...BUT, it really doesn't concern her if you and her brother want to date.

I bet you are upsetting yourself for nothing. As soon as you know for sure that this guy really wants to date you and you feel you may have a future with him, tell his sister of your intentions, just to be considerate, not for her permission. My feelings would be that if you are as close as you say you are to her, she will be happy for you. Don't make a problem where there isn't one.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Was I wrong?
Posted: 12/12/2008 7:11:26 PM
NO!!!!!!!!!!!! You are not wrong at all. This guy sounds like a control freak. First of all, he's dating YOU. Second...why did you introduce your child to someone that you just met? She shouldn't be involved with anyone you are dating unless you decide to be with him on a permanent basis and this would be waaaaaaaayyyyyy down the road after you got to know him extremely well.

ALSO, your child has a dad and if he isn't in the picture, YOU are the only one that should be responsible for her and or her punishment if YOU think it's called for.

You are her protector and her guidance is supposed to be YOUR responsibility. Who invited this guy to "step in and take care of business!" My first and foremost reaction would be to protect my child. She is #1 and should be your first concern. If he can't accept your rules on the raising of your child...then tell him to hit the road pronto and don't let the door hit him in the A$$ on the way out. He is OUT OF BOUNDS!

UPDATE: I guess I stopped at your OP and saw red. I put in my two cents but didn't read the whole thread. I am soooooo happy you dumped the loser. If you had of stayed with him, your life would have been h*ll. I'm glad that if you didn't know what to say, that you put up this thread to find out from us. Good for you and my apology for being so harsh but please be aware with any guy you meet in the future.

Good Luck!
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Red flag?
Posted: 12/12/2008 3:35:13 PM
All I can say is this woman is no lady in whatever colored flag you want to wave.

Obviously you liked what you saw and no red blooded man would turn that down...but your thoughts of her before the photo, obviously put her in a different category than what you originally thought or you wouldn't be asking the question.

When you saw her profile and it read that she wasn't into booty calls, hook ups or anything sexual, gave you the impression that she was looking for a quality relationship but now all you're getting is common. She is definitely NOT a woman of her words.

Good luck on your date tomorrow night. Bring protection as I am sure she has done this so many times before.

You'll have to let us know how this turns out...the clean version of course...
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Girl treated me like crap, Should I get closure?
Posted: 12/6/2008 7:37:00 PM

Here's how I would get "closure" on this one: never speak to her again, never contact her in any way, do not respond to her, wipe her out of your mind. Close the door and don't reopen it, if you get my drift. Meet somebody wonderful. Happiness is the best revenge.

Well said bklynrebel...I couldn't have said it better.
I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of saying anything. You've said enough in the letter. Do nothing! Never talk to her again. She knows how you feel about her and has power over you. Take your power back and close that door for good.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Am I overreacting?
Posted: 12/6/2008 4:43:57 AM
No, I don't think you are overreacting at all. When someone makes you feel uneasy...it's your intuition sending up red flags. The weird thing is that we always get these uneasy feelings and never go with them...until it's too late. By you starting this thread says it all. Like Coastergal said..."you're an hour away. There's probably someone closer!"

First impressions do count...listen to your perceptive insight and run like h*ll.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Deceit kills relationship
Posted: 12/5/2008 10:26:50 AM

In writing...he looked good...very romantic and fun. But in person the last time I saw him...the mask was off and he contradicted himself and bragged and then thought I owed him sex

Hey, I hear ya...same thing happened to me...but I saw through him before any intimacy took place. I am a very cautious person and saw the light before he had the opportunity to put another notch in his belt.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How can i tell her that i am not into her, without breaking her heart?
Posted: 12/3/2008 4:33:21 AM
I can't believe this...it's only been a week or two. I am sure that she isn't head over heal in love with you at this point and if she is, run for your life. She will take 5 min of disappointment after being told and go on.

Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. It shows respect and decency. Just be gentle when you tell her. It doesn't have to be mean. Not responding to her emails because you fear of dealing with this head on, isn't the way to go either. Telling her honestly will stop her from pursuing you any further and if it doesn't, THEN ignore her or block her.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Cambridge/K-W/Guelph Coffee & POF Dance, Friday November 7th, 2008
Posted: 11/1/2008 11:40:57 AM
I found the link above and that one works...thanks anyway...see you next Friday!
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Cambridge/K-W/Guelph Coffee & POF Dance, Friday November 7th, 2008
Posted: 11/1/2008 11:39:31 AM
Hi Browneyessmiling...the link that you sent to me in my email for the name tags, doesn't work. You said that we could find the link in the party post, where is that?
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Why Do Relationships FAIL?
Posted: 10/6/2008 3:51:05 AM
^^^wildgirl^^^ said the biggy next to Trust and Communication....

"Financial Problems" come in third.

It's funny that no one mentioned financial problems considering that is one of the biggest reason why marriages fail.

Even I forgot that one.

But it's one of the top issues for a failed marriage.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Why Do Relationships FAIL?
Posted: 10/5/2008 7:22:54 AM
Heck, if I knew that, I'd still be married.

There are so many reasons why relationships fail. To put them all down on here would take days.

But just to name a few...
Lack of Communication
Lack of Trust
Lack of Respect
Lack of Honesty
Lack of Devotion
Avoidance
Not being able to forgive
Indulgence
Head games
Silent treatment
Not taking pride in your appearance
Verbal and/or physical abuse
Emotionally disconnected
…to name a few... and I found most of those, in the Internet. Google the reasons why Relationships fail, it will be more informational.

We all have our reasons.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Should I stay or should I go
Posted: 10/5/2008 6:54:47 AM
Thank you for all your nice comments.

I too, feel that you are an awesome man and deserve so much better. No, you are not the fool for trying to stay and make it work. I hear what you are saying about old fashion beliefs and once married, always married...BUT...where does it say in the marriage vows that you have to put up with humiliation with the most demeaning way that your beloved wife could do.

SHE broke the vows! She even had the audacity to have an affair with not only someone you knew but a business partner at that.

If she can do that with your business partner, she can do it with anyone.

You are a good man and husband for sticking to your beliefs in being true to your partner, but you don' t have to be humiliated ever again. Once bitten, twice shy...and yes tomorrow is a better day. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide rmoss.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Honesty
Posted: 10/5/2008 4:07:57 AM
You have three threads going and they aren't about a woman's virginity or women hating men or infidelity...they are all about your wife. You've clumped all women in a negative category by what your wife has done to you.

Not all women are like her. Why would you consider staying with a woman who has cheated on your 8 times, claimed to be a virgin...(maybe she was...not disputing that...but you are) and is only back with you because she knows she can.

With all the threads you have started due to you being so hurt by your wife and the subjects you chose to beef about....should tell you everything. She's not honest, nor trustworthy. .. She cheated on you 8 times and claims she hates men! Duh...what are you waiting for...go see that lawyer and move on with your life.

There are so many women over the age of 35 who are good and decent, loving and dedicated to the one they love. Why would you waste your time with someone who lost all of the above...with the added bonus of being selfish and dishonest. You've answered your own thread questions. You know what to do. You don't need to verify your feelings with us...you already know the answer. Man up and do what is best for everyone, especially for you and your family...You need peace in your life and you aren't going to get it with her.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Should I stay or should I go
Posted: 10/4/2008 7:21:25 PM
I can see that you still love her very much...even to the point of not being able to dance with another woman. This says a lot about you. You are the honest one, the one who will be faithful at all costs. The only problem is... how can you ever trust your wife again.

If one is in love with a wife, husband, girlfriend/boyfriend or whomever... no one could make that person fall for another. The only way is if the love is gone...I feel that this is what happened to your wife. She fell for someone else while being with you. If she was totally in love with you, she wouldn't have given this man the time of day.

She is back because you represent "the old shoe". She is familiar with you...she knows you love her...she prefers to be with you than to be alone. Is this what you want? Do you want to be a doormat till the next one comes along?

The part where you said that she wasn't as good looking as the wife of your ex business partner, has nothing to do with him falling in love with her, if indeed he was. When talking about an affair, it's not what a person looks like, it's how he made her feel and vice versa. "Looks" have nothing to do with it.

"Should you stay or should you go"...is not up to me to say. You are the only one that can make that decision. BUT...before you take her back permanently, do some soul searching. She has to be serious about you and your relationship. It's not fair to you if she is back because she knows how you feel and has no where else to go.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
She Freaked Out
Posted: 10/4/2008 6:51:56 PM
First of all...communication is one of the most important keys to any relationship. The things you are saying on here are personal and if I were in her situation, I would be very upset that you are putting my personal comments on a public forum.

With that said.....Why don't you sit down with her and ask her what SHE wants or why she feels the way she does. We don't know her to give you proper advise. We only have your word for it.

If she is afraid of falling in love with you...ask yourself why or better still, ask her! She sounds like she has some growing up to do. One minute she is saying she wants to move away and then texts you with casual comments like it was never said.

This may be a red flag and you should run while you can. I can see that the only advice you want to hear is the one that agrees with you. Stop analyzing...go to the source. If you feel you can't communicate with her on a one on one, you might as well move on. What are you afraid of...it's better to know now.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 58 (view)
 
goodbye thudpucker..you will be missed !
Posted: 8/15/2008 6:31:29 PM
That poem is "beautiful" Anita. You have captured our feelings and emotions.

I HAVE smiled and laughed remembering things he said to me....He was quite the man!

Thank you for all those touching and meaningful words made into poetry and sharing them with us in honor of Ron.


Sanschele: Thank you!
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 53 (view)
 
goodbye thudpucker..you will be missed !
Posted: 8/13/2008 8:52:21 PM
Edit to "Babydoll": I am so sorry about your loss and not being able to meet Ron in person. But really, you have met him soulwise....and far few people who have actually met Ron have accomplished that, I am sure. I believe that after he passed on, he was there with you and gave you comfort. I know that he would not just "take off" and leave you. He has a solid place in your heart. And yours in his. He is still here, just not in this plane.


I really needed to hear those words Marjie and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have felt his presence but I don't know if it's wishful thinking because I miss him so much or it's real.

Either way, I will never forget the impact he had on my life. He made me laugh right up to the end and beyond. Just go back to his last post he made in the thread called, "What makes a man decide whether a woman is too tall for him?" His response is hilarious! Just like Ron to think outside the...well you know what I mean. When it gets overwhelming, I go back to that thread and read what he wrote and I start to laugh all over again remembering just how crazy silly he was.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 49 (view)
 
goodbye thudpucker..you will be missed !
Posted: 8/13/2008 7:11:45 AM

he mentioned he was going to meet a lovely lady he'd been wanting to hook up with for some time.

I am the lady that he was going to meet. Next week, we were to meet in Pennsylvania. I'm on Vacation and I visit my family who live there almost every year. He was to meet me on the 20 and 21st of Aug. and then fly out to Atlanta. Of course it wasn't meant to be.

That is what is so upsetting to me about all of this. So close, yet ....

I don't know why things happen the way they do. I guess God has a plan and we will understand why one day.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 47 (view)
 
goodbye thudpucker..you will be missed !
Posted: 8/13/2008 3:32:09 AM
Di, thank you for your support. You are a true friend. I kapish!

Yes I do remember when we met and Ron was going to come to your rescue. That's just the kind of man he was....his profile about being a rescuer of friends (and children and women everywhere)...is so true.

So many times he would get an email from someone in trouble and would want to travel to them and save them. On some of those occasions, I had talked him out of it as sometimes people would take advantage of his generosity. As intelligent as he was, his heart was even bigger. Age has no bearing on that and he needed guidance too as I did for different reasons and he was always there for me.

Starting this wonderful thread in Ron's honor is NOT a small task but shows how big your heart really is Di. We are all happy that you wanted to do this wonderful tribute to such a wonderful soul. He knows how we all feel as I am sure he will be honored that so many who knew him or who knew of him and to those who weren't familiar with him or his posts, wrote in anyway to say so many wonderful things about him.

I hope his son Mike will see this thread...to see how he touched so many people. He was as 'honest' as they come, 'giving' to a fault and even though he was a bit rough around the edges, his heart was pure and innocent. He was a hard worker and loved every minute of it...but never too busy to call me at the end of his day to tell me what he did or who he spoke to or how successful his day was. But most of all, to find out how I was doing . I will miss those calls so much.

Thank you for saying to call if need be....I will do so and thank you for all your prayers to my mother and Josh from your Circle of Life. They worked....my mother is back to being 100%. Josh is once again on his way to recovery. He's only 2 but has the will of an army of men. I pray he recovers fully...keep those prayers comin'!


Indigo Rose...Thank you! He had so many good things to say about you...one of many of those things being... was that you were the female version of him and he was proud of that. You 'GOT' him!!

Thank you to the Moderators for allowing this thread to remain. We are all human and we need heartfelt threads like this.

And Ron, you may not be here in body but definitely here in spirit. "I feel you!"..."never leave me!"
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
goodbye thudpucker..you will be missed !
Posted: 8/12/2008 1:51:51 PM
Diane, thank you so much for starting this thread in honor of Ron.

I have waves of sadness and emptiness. I'm still in a state of shock. I can't believe that my phone won't ring anymore and he will not be on the other end of it. We spoke almost every night and emailed each other when he or I had the time.

We were supposed to meet in Pennsylvania next week and both of us were looking forward to finally seeing each other in person.

I know that he is here with me, as well as his family and his secretary Diane, (Amapola1). I know that he will miss his work as he loved that more than life. He lived life to the fullest even though he knew how bad his heart was. Many times I told him to please slow down and he would laugh and say, "The day I slow down is the day I will no longer be in this world."

In his last email to me the night before he passed, the first line said "I'm feeling Great!" He said he had just had dinner with his son a couple of days ago and then saw the movie Mamma Mia but preferred the stage version better. He spoke of how excited he was to finally meet me after three years of phone calls and emails.

It's so unbelievable to me. He LOVED life and all it had to offer and I grew to love him.

I will miss our good laughs, my advices to him. He said that us Canadians were naive but it was me who settled him down when he was upset or didn't see things quite right.
He called me his angel and now he can be mine.

You are right Ladydi when you said to me the other night on the phone, "he is now here with us and is free."

"I will forever miss you and we WILL meet one day Ron."

Your Angel
Dawna
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Drinking the cheater...
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:37:11 PM
This has been the most hilarious and entertaining thread that I've read in ages. I really needed a good laugh...thanks, especially to you Deuce. Your comments are a little crude , h*ll...lots crude but I hear ya.

Now I've heard it all ...
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Who's in the wrong?
Posted: 4/6/2008 5:56:33 PM
Neviah:

I fear I have lost the one true love that I was really meant to be with because I couldn't keep my temper in check. She says she felt like crap all the time because I was mad at her for the things she did wrong. I may have been mad, but after we talked it over, i never brought it up again and i was telling her how much i loved her. Am i wrong for being mad at her when she said she would promise not to ignore me in front of her friends all the time but she continued to do so also?


She is playing with your feelings and you are letting her get away with it. She doesn't deserve your respect or thoughtfulness. She knows you very well and is enjoying making you squirm. You are blaming yourself for the negative things that SHE has done.

I hate to say this because I think... AND I do think you are a very nice guy, but you are promoting the behavior. The more you kiss her butt, the more she will hurt you.

Enough is enough...She is the loser in this mess. If she want's to treat you so shabbily, she will get it back eventually from someone else. She needs a dose of empathy.

I don't know if you love her or the drama she is or has created, but if you don't let her go emotionally, she will continue to hurt you and make a fool of you. .. (male friend my foot!) Go with your gut instincts. They're usually correct!! If you think her friend is acting weird around you and won't talk to you and this is telling you something...listen to your heart....it's usually the way it is.

Forget her, move on...Get in shape for yourself. There is a wonderful lady out there that will give you all you need and I know that you will return it to her. This woman you are drooling over, should be ashamed of herself on how she is treating another human being. Take this experience as a lesson and move on to someone who will love you like you should be loved.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/5/2008 7:54:16 PM
Pia wrote:

But the issue was sex at the beginning of a relationship, before even knowing basic stuff on your date. What if you have about 7 dates in a month, will you be having sex with 7 different men or women and then decide it`s not going to work and move to the next date?


VERY Good Point Pia. I said it before, get to know the person that you are dating before he gets what he wants and then the relationship is finished before it has started. Why should he pursue further when the intimate anticipation is over and done?

And the comment that someone made about "sounding like parents giving advice"...my parents would tell me to get married first.

If you respect yourself and he respects you, then he will wait until you and he have reached a point of comfort and both are starting to have deep feelings for each other.

There are plenty of men who ARE NOT willing to jump into bed on the first or second or even a third date. I have heard it over and over in the forums. These are the men that you want to associate with and not the ones who only want one thing. I love sex and when I feel that the time is right, then fine...but not until I know the guy I'm with is patient and respectful and feelings have developed. I guess one thing my parents have instilled in me is to respect myself and my body. I am the only person I can control.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/2/2008 3:57:57 AM
@grkboy

One thing many guys dislike is when they take a girl out 3-4 times, and then she suddenly isn't interested and breaks contact without a word. We feel like then we wasted our time, money, and energy.

This is called dating! Time, money and energy is spent to see if both of you are compatible with each other or not. Now I don't think that ANYONE should just drop the other without a word. I feel the person losing interest should be honest and up front why he or she isn't interested to further the relationship.


Some guys believe that when you "seal the deal" as soon as possible, she'll get emotionally attached and thus won't easily drop the guy..

That definitely doesn't work. Eventually, the outcome will be the same. One will leave and end things. It may take a little more time, but it won't last in the end. What is wrong with time and patience in getting to know each other without the pressures of intimacy.

Now I am not saying that if both parties get to a certain point and both are not turned off by character flaws , then that's fine. But I have seen way too many times, intimacy has taken place and things are great...for a while. Then the problems start and sometimes over the smallest things. This is because both parties involved didn't give each other a chance in getting to know the other before intimacy had taken place.

Thudsaid it best..."Chastity is a lost art -- possibly a lost art forever.
"Regard, respect, and reverence for the sanctity of a man and woman relationship were once treasured and valued as part of society."
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How important is sex in a new relationship?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:23:25 AM
I totally agree with you OP. In my opinion, sex shouldn't even be involved in a "NEW" relationship. That is the main reason why most relationships don't last...putting the cart before the horse.

Once you've crossed that line, no matter how well or how little you know that person, the relationship changes. N0w the rest is getting to know the person within and that's where the problems lie. You many be compatible sexually, but there are other qualities in which you may or may not like about the other person.

Sex comes when we both feel it strongly and cannot wait anymore.

If you give yourselves a chance to get to know each other first, doing all the things you've mentioned and feeling have grown to the point where both you and your partner are comfortable...then there is no reason not to.

For some reason, people have jumped in with both feet, having lost self respect with regrets afterwards.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Are breasts THE WEAPON OF CHOICE in attracting the boys?
Posted: 3/21/2008 4:25:46 PM

Are breasts THE WEAPON OF CHOICE in attracting the boys?

Oh yes...I would say they are...big or small.

Rats = men always
Cheese = breasts and we know it

Behave there TP, there are traps everywhere!
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 914 (view)
 
Let T-Rex review your profile...I'll be gentle..hehehe
Posted: 3/16/2008 3:30:22 PM
Hey Indigo, you are completely correct. I haven't changed my profile since the day I started. I just kept adding on or deleting parts. It took a fresh pair of eyes to see what I couldn't. Thanks for your wise input.

Babydoll
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 906 (view)
 
Let T-Rex review your profile...I'll be gentle..hehehe
Posted: 3/15/2008 6:29:20 PM
I think mine needs some help ...

Can you give me some pointers Indigo?
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
is this to old?
Posted: 2/8/2008 3:36:27 AM
Good for you, Crash. You did the right thing.

My friend's son at the age of 16 was not attending school like she thought he was until one day when she for some reason, decided to take a different route home from driving her daughter to school. There he was, hanging out on one of his buddy's porch with a couple of friends. She pulled the car into the driveway and demanded that he come out. But when he saw her, he ran out the back door and took off.

She followed him everyday to make sure that he was at school but he would skip out as soon as she would pull away. She knew he would do this...so her days would be filled looking for him. She grounded him, threatened him... etc, but to no avail. She got the name of the other boys and called their parents. Of course, no surprise here...they said that there wasn't anything that they could do. One set of parents were separated and one didn't have clout over the other...the other parents were at the end of their rope with their son and have since given up.

Well she wasn't about to give up. She was very worried about this situation. Her son was a follower and not a bad young man, but we all know what it's like with peer pressure especially at 16. The next thing she did was call the police to scare him. She talked to the principal of her son's High School so that he was aware of what was to happen. In the middle of the afternoon, two police officers knocked on the door of the 16 year old school room and brought him out with suspicion of drugs, (my friend was sure that drugs were involved), and because it was public property, they searched his locker. They also told him that they were aware of his truancy and if he were caught skipping school one more time, he would be arrested. (Not attending school is a big deal here).

Thank goodness that no drugs were found but this scared the h*ll out of him and he never skipped school again and eventually graduated with honors. This whole event took place for over six months but my friend wouldn't give up on him. She did all she could and the h*ll she went through was worth it in the end.

To this day, her son never found out that it was his mom who called the police..(3 years later). Yes Crash...you did what you could as a parent to protect your daughter....good for you. Tough love saved this young man from what could have been a disastrous situation had it continued. Eventually, her son told her that drugs WERE involved and they would joy ride on the back roads when they got high.

Being a good parent means sacrificing...doing all that can be done to make sure that your children are protecxt, that they know the difference between right from wrong and become law abiding adults. She wasn't about to give up on him no matter what she had to do. THAT is what I call a good parent.

There is so much that this young 16 year old's parents could do to stop this relationship with this older boy and I do mean boy. Stop being her friend and start being her parents.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
is this to old?
Posted: 1/30/2008 3:30:56 AM
This situation makes my blood boil. What the heck is wrong with this 16 year old's parents. She and her husband are the only ones who can control this situation. It's their home and their rules.

The problem with this generation and a couple of generations back, is that parents are so afraid to "Rock the Boat" that they have forgotten how to be parents. There are tons of things that these people can do to stop this relationship...never mind fearing that if they do something to stop it, their daughter will do it anyway or rebel...Maybe so, but they will have one heck of a time doing so so easily and won't be together as much.

Ground her, don't let her out of the house, make it hard for her...keep tabs on her whereabouts, accounting her every minute when she is not in the house. Do what you have to to protect her.

At the young age of 16, she doesn't have the maturity or the wisdom to know what is good for her. She is doing what feels good to her. The mere fact that this stupid 24 year old boy who is older than she and is and more experienced, tells me that he is no older mentally than she is and why would anyone allow their child to be with someone who is 8 years older...especially at the age group that they are in. I wish we had the same laws that some U.S. States have, then he could be charged and sent to jail.

We all know what he wants...and I bet this is her first love which is so important to all of us. We always remember our first love. It's just too bad it has to be an idiot who will only end up breaking her heart. It's a given...not to mention ruining her life if, God forbid, she gets pregnant.

If she can't make good decisions, that is what parents are for.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 1127 (view)
 
What is wrong with the persons profile above you in this thread?
Posted: 1/21/2008 5:43:33 PM
Well I can't find anything wrong with kariharte's profile. The photos are great and is very informative and personable. Kari comes across like an easy to get to know kind of person.... Very attractive as well...so I can't imagine her being single for long.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What's in a gift
Posted: 1/21/2008 1:57:10 PM
Oh Happyboi, I love your way of thinking. See ...it's the thought and attention that you took to do somethng so thoughtful for that special someone in your life at the time... that impresses me. It's the little things that mean the most. Gift that are from the heart...you can't beat those. It shows that you listen.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
A potential mate and the state of their housing
Posted: 1/21/2008 4:39:32 AM
whoops...double post
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
A potential mate and the state of their housing
Posted: 1/21/2008 4:26:49 AM
Sounds like a pretty shallow guy. Hey, a clean home should tell him that you are organized, you take pride in your home and must be the same with other things in your life including yourself.

Now the only deal breaker for me would be a smelly, unclean home...and I'm not meaning messy. We could be messy but clean. Dirty toilets, stained carpets, sheets that are off the mattress would turn me off. We don't have to have everything in place or color coordinated, but a clean home that doesn't have an odor says so much about the person in their everyday life.

The guy that laughed at the way you keep your home is not who you want to be with long term. He would be totally opposite to your house keeping ways and that would drive you crazy. We all need good friends so enjoy him as a friend.
 
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