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 Author Thread: Stop searches from going to Canada?
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Stop searches from going to Canada?
Posted: 9/16/2018 12:35:27 AM
All satire aside, there are times a search radius isn't exactly practical. Perhaps the idea would be to have a check box beside the search radius drop down menu, "Limit search to users in my country" Or state. Or province, or whatever the catch all term would be. You got a Great Lake that's a bit of a barrier, and I got a state just to the south of me that I'd rather not go to if possible (All Trump style satire aside, too many bad memories down there). Half the people that show up on even the most local search for me are from Illinois. And I live in Wisconsin.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Stop searches from going to Canada?
Posted: 9/10/2018 3:25:19 PM
It would be also nice, for those of us living near a state line, to exclude all results from out of state. I live in Southeast Wisconsin and Illinois is less than 20 minutes away, and so far as I see it, our neighbor to the south needs to stay on THEIR side of the line. We are tired of them coming up here using and abusing OUR beautiful land, clogging OUR jails and courthouses when they commit their crimes on OUR land, it's disgusting, and...

"Wisconsin will build itself a wall and will make Illinois pay for it!"

Vote Railrunner in 2020!

(Basically I really do not like Illinois!)
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Something Needs To Be Done About Scammers
Posted: 5/21/2018 1:53:07 AM
I think BornTexan has the right idea. Let the problem get completely out of hand and either the site will close from lack of real members, or an effort will be made to repair it. Unless something drastic happens in the world of cybercrime and the laws surrounding it, such as legislation holding site owners responsible for losses incurred by scammers (Which as far as I see, could happen someday, though I fear the precedent this may set), I figure that the former is much more likely to happen. PoF is more likely to be closed entirely than it is to see the efforts made to repair its various issues and start closing some security loopholes. Given the patterns that the scam profiles have been using lately, it's clear they found a pattern that works in creating profiles and naming them. Keeping them out will always be a cat and mouse type battle. Soon as one type of scam is blocked, the scammers will find a way around it. At this point, unless the scammers move on to more lucrative means of fraud, the scam profiles in some quantity or another will be here and elsewhere for a long while.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 2 (view)
 
5 Things That Will Immediately Kill a Perfectly Good Date Conversation
Posted: 5/16/2018 1:42:56 AM
I could have some fun with this...

1. "You know, I don't think we really gave National Socialism a fair chance. I mean, you know, it could actually work after all"

2. "Do you have an hour sometime to talk about our lord Jesus Christ?"

3. "Do you know anything about strange bumps around the groin? No? GOOD!"

4. "What do I do for a living? Allow me to introduce you to the exciting world of Amway!"

5. "You take my breath away like the time I passed out in a septic tank"

I'd say those would be conversation killers.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 328 (view)
 
Instant turn aways
Posted: 5/6/2018 6:23:57 PM
When they say "Prove to me all men are not the same". Every time I read that, it's an instant turn off. Makes me think they should go watch Sesame Street. One of these things is not like the others... Come on, you all know the tune!

When their list of things they both want and do not want is as long as, and has all the precision of, a space shuttle pre-flight checklist.

If they have kids, then that is an instant deal breaker. Bonus points when their profile states "Man up and take care of MY kids" Yes, actually saw that more than once. Dumping the rugrats in a car compacter would be "Taking care" of them, I suppose. Extra bonus point if that is present along with that their biological father will ALWAYS be in the picture. Uh, so you want some dumb schmuck to take care of your little sentient barf bags, presumably pay their way and your way in life, yet some other guy will always be there too? Might as well say "I am looking for some cuck wimp".

"Looking for a love like romeo and juliet" Uh, you DO know how that ended, right? Or "Forrest and Jenny". Yeah, Forrest Gump, the story of a guy eternally friend zoned by the town slut, guy ends up filthy rich, guess who suddenly loves him? Gold digger slut, anyone?

Way I see it, this site has little value in actual dating, but for entertainment, it's great! It's like free admission to the circus sideshows. Year round!
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 5 (view)
 
_____ Wants to Meet You!! Emails - fake users
Posted: 5/5/2018 2:42:41 PM
Usually get them within 10 minues of logging in. My bet's that they are created by the site to try to get people to pay for upgraded membership so they can see who allegedly wants to meet them. There ARE still ways to do a username search though...
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
.
Posted: 5/5/2018 2:37:13 PM

Jessie has it...silly us it was in Braille.. :) ;) :/ ;\


Morse code actually.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 312 (view)
 
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 5/5/2018 2:33:58 PM
To be fair, some of us who have worked in railroading have had the idea of stowing little kids in the baggage car. Those old bulk mail cages Amtrak used to use could be handy. It would work wonders in making long distance passenger trains more peaceful!
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/5/2018 9:08:17 AM
Because we're burned out by broads who look like they fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, then told we're "Below average" and questioned why we're here.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Gimme a number. Your best guess will do just fine.
Posted: 4/16/2018 5:38:53 PM
And as long as we're getting into the old telephone exchange number system (Two letters then the numbers) here's one:

PEnnsylvania 6-5000

Which, by the way, to this day, is still an actual, working number in New York.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
need a place to name men who are potentially not safe for women
Posted: 4/16/2018 8:12:32 AM
Face it, you can trust NOBODY. So you can basically put the entire population of Earth on your danger list. My name is technically part of that me too list, and looking back, apart from cutting school for the entireity of fifth grade, there was NOTHING that would have prevented it. So even if a list exists, it wouldn't do much good, least as far as I am concerned. Plus people would actually have to heed the warnings on that list. THat school principal had been doing his crimes for nearly a decade by the time he was transfered to my school. In time my dad and I found dozens of police reports were filed and nothing was done. (Does this remind anyone of a more recent incident in Florida by the way) Feel free to try making a site of course, and I think there actually is a website already to that effect, called dont date him or something to that effect (Again, everyone seems to forget men and boys can and ARE victims of sexual assault too)
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Would any guys here date a girl physically stronger than them? (and vice versa)
Posted: 2/10/2018 4:18:39 AM
Yeah, I probably would. Considering back in high school I set a weightlifting record for the school (Honor roll student, absolute bookworm, but incredibly strong. Not an often seen combination), it would be interesting. Knocking the tar out of some street thugs would be an awesome date. And at least, for once, there would be no "Can you open this jar for me" questions. I still have the arm/leg strength, only nowadays a lower back injury that sometimes gets in the way. Let the adreneline surge up though, and suddenly the back injury is irrelevant. Some punk who tried to rob me once found that out the hard way.

Team beatdowns of punks and gangbangers. The more I think about it. The more I like it.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
My Parents strict criteria on gf
Posted: 2/10/2018 4:01:29 AM
OP, you sound like you have the Canadian version of my "mother". I put that in quotes because I'd rather not admit any relationship to her. Mine is violent, abusive, and controlling, to the point where she will try to drive a wedge between me and anyone I date, and still tries to drive a wedge between my sister and her husband. For the record, both my sis and her husband are productive, hardworking people with good heads on their shoulders.

At least my dad is completely the opposite. How he's put up with almost half a century being married to an abusive looney toon is beyond me. I mean, it made some sense when my sister and I were growing up. That looney toon (The name my sis and I use for her) is highly manipulative, to the point where if dad divorced her, somehow she'd probably end up with full custody of us, and he endured her abuse for our sake. Why he hasn't divorced now I don't know, apart from maybe figuring "I endured this long, I can see it to the finish".

Anyway, long ago, I made it clear that I pay my bills, my name and my name alone is on the lease to my home, I decide who I date. It's my life, not hers. I told her if she wants any say at all, she can pay the bills. My life does not run on the opinions of others, especially those with enormous chips on their shoulders. Given the enormous cheapskate she is, that shut her up fast. Being firm worked in my case, but I can't guarantee it works in any others.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I'm ready about to give up. I just don't get what i'm doing wrong?
Posted: 12/21/2017 4:09:52 AM
OP, quit your crying. Grow up and act like a man and not some middle schooler. Oh wah wah, someone blocked you. Big frickin deal. It's life. It happens.

No one, man or woman (Or other gender, thank you very much democrats! Not.) wants to hear some whiny "Poor me" creep playing the perpetual "I'm just a nice guy why doesn't anyone talk to me boo hoo" card.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Facebook Official
Posted: 12/20/2017 9:54:13 PM
"Facebook official"? Pah! My first reaction is "Kids, shouldn't you be doing your homework?" I gave up FB and my life is much better for it. The last thing any relationship I was ever in needed was a bunch of nosy, s--t for brain jerk-off losers nosing their way into MY business. I'm not going to hide anyone I am with, but I am not going to advertise it to the entire world anyway.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Can say any thing now
Posted: 12/14/2017 5:51:17 PM
In real life, an anything-goes anarchy is pretty crappy. Online, it can be awesome. About a week ago I called some whiny crybaby just that because he only gets a small percent of replies. And even crunched all the numbers to arrive at a bunch of worthless stats. And calling him out felt good. I've had insults hurled at me here, so go ahead and pass them on like a digital game of hot potato.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Message response rate
Posted: 12/7/2017 1:39:09 AM
So what's the OP crying about? 18 percent? Lot of us would love to have that kind of percentage. Of course, lot of us aren't statistic nerds with nothing better to do than crunch numbers and whine. Belt up crybaby.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What was yout longest relationship?
Posted: 11/12/2017 11:00:20 AM
A couple years or so. It was off and on at one point, but we were together two or three years when she died. I'd really rather not think too hard about the exact timeframe. And learned that dating someone who has been abused most her life, and had turned to the bottle for solace, is no picnic. That even though she wanted to quit drinking, and did make efforts to, relapse is a very powerful thing. And that life is cruel. Clean for three years, finally beat the bottle, with the help of inpatient rehab, then died from being beaten to death during a robbery. Beaten to death by someone who intended to steal her prescription pain medicine, she was home when he thought she was not. After a long struggle with booze, THAT'S how it ended. Yeah, life is cruel.

Long term to marriage. Though to be honest with myself, I doubt anyone will ever live up to the standards set by Stephanie.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 85 (view)
 
She said she doesn't have time for a bf but told me she has one..
Posted: 11/12/2017 9:11:49 AM
Gee, a hypocritical, lying politician? Say it ain't so! And now that we're getting into cold weather, she'd have an excuse to have her hands in YOUR pockets.

Come on, OP, politicians are bottom of the barrel when it comes to dating. Without exception, regardless of party affiliation, they are all skilled liars and manipulators. Best to put some distance between you and her.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Dating with Autoimmune disease
Posted: 11/9/2017 12:47:04 PM
I suppose it would depend on your personality how you go about bringing it up and when. Now me, I am one of those straight to the point types, the kind who loudly says things that people think, but generally are too afraid to say. Now that fits me well. So if I were in your shoes, apart from likely needing a good shoehorn, I'd be upfront about it. I have PTSD, and I realize it is futile trying to hide it. So I mention it right at the top of my profile. If someone finds that to be a deal breaker, then fine. So it will reduce the amount of fish in the pond, so to speak, but it is a sluce gate that filters some of the fish out. Think about it, would you rather spend weeks talking to someone, getting to know them, then tell them and have them bail, or have them filtered out quickly? That would be time that could have been spent on people who can handle someone who has a permanent ailment.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Help - My (ex) boyfriend blocked me from all his social media after a fight
Posted: 11/2/2017 9:25:51 PM
Back together again, yeah, right. So why are you seeking "Dating" then? I'd say your "Boyfriend" is a fool. Taking back anyone who goes bananas over not being at her beck and call, yet she's looking for other guys? I pity the guy. I really do. How screwed up in the head does one have to be to take back a clingy, needy, insecure, hypocritical mess? Anyone interested in getting a pool going on how long it will take before she's back whining again?
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Dating someone who is your ex's enemy by religion and culture
Posted: 10/20/2017 7:26:16 AM
Simple. Move to America. Everyone is at everyone's throat right now. Every group of people seems to hate every other group, or so the crass, uh, mass media would have it. So your situation would blend right in. Nah, just kidding.

Seriously though, NBA24 is absolutely right. He has the basics of Christianity spot on there. And he's right about everything else.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Why did being the nice guy become a bad thing?
Posted: 7/19/2017 8:38:04 AM
Because "Nice" IS spineless. "Nice" is the guy who won't stand up to anyone or for anyone. Nice IS the doormat. Except in those mob movies, where they got a guy kidnapped and tell him "I'm really a nice guy, but if you don't do as we say...". Either way, you're mixing "Nice guy" with "Good guy".
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 21 (view)
 
why to suffer when you can have a true love spell being casted
Posted: 7/4/2017 1:41:28 AM
Last week at work, there was a crackhead rambling on and on outside about wizards and spells and all sorts of goofy occult things. Smelled real bad and did not appear to have changed clothes in a long while. I suppose that may well be "Master Incognito" or whatever he is calling himself.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Taking a bad date to small claim court? He did “win”
Posted: 6/5/2017 5:40:50 PM

Well before I go on a date I got to get ready too. I stand in front of a full body mirror naked with one hand up in a hitler salute screaming "DICK POWER!" for 3 hours beforehand. Then I make the woman pay. She does too because I show her the video of it so she will see how hard it was for me to prepare.


Is it just your hand up in a Hitler salute?

Somehow the mental picture is just hilarious. Especially if you picture a Nuremburg Rally sort of place where everyone is doing it. After a long day at work, I needed a good laugh!
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 179 (view)
 
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 6/1/2017 8:05:33 PM

I once knew a man IRL who was very outgoing, popular etc. in general, but when it came to approaching me, he would come up to me & start messing up & then run away. At the time I didn't realize what was going on cuz he was sooo outgoing in general.

I think there is a term in psychology, called "love shy" for people who have no shyness issues, except when it comes to the opposite sex & romance. How sad.

With the internet these days, it should be much easier.

I think a shy guy is sweet- the antithesis of a player.


Dear Lord, that sounds so much like me. I've got outgoing down to a T, talking to people is no issue at all, either. But when it comes down to asking someone out, asking for a phone number, heck even offering mine, forget it. "All systems shut down! Brain lockdown mode initiated! System restarting in T minus 59 seconds and counting!"

Funny part is, so far, in my life, I have ran into a locomotive that was on fire to shut down the electrical panel (Electrical fire in an old streamlined locomotive, a museum piece locomotive, the smoke from said electrical system was likely cancerous, but so far so good) confronted armed thugs and wrestled their weapons away and pinned them to the ground (Granted this is in the job description of transit security, but still, run towards something everyone else runs away from), all sorts of things like that, stuff most people would mentally lock up over, yet for all this stuff with real danger, somehow approaching a woman is much more nerve wracking.

And it isn't sweet at all. It's a terrible thing to have, knowing that this backwards state of thinking means you are single, the people who would run away from a burning locomotive or an armed crack addict or gang banger, but approach the woman, have someone. And no, this is not going to be like the movies. The woman does not suddenly switch to the guy who shut off the power in the locomotive, who pinned the thug until the cops arrived and cuff-n-stuffed him. Of course, some of us, such as me, we've accepted this as a way of life. It sucks, but it becomes a fact of life.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Taking a bad date to small claim court? He did “win”
Posted: 5/31/2017 12:34:48 AM
I've seen similar. There was an episode of Judge Alex about a guy who was violent and abusive to his date. He claimed he left a six hundred dollar laptop in her car when she finally had enough of him and he never got it back. He got most of that money awarded. Now here's the twist. The guy lived literally less than a quarter mile from me. Regular passenger of ours. We kicked him off buses a couple dozen times. Only laptop I ever seen him with was something looking so old and worn out he probably got it at Goodwill. And yes, he is a violent jerk. Had him arrested a few times for threatening and intimidating female passengers. One of my coworkers saw the show while in the driver's breakroom, and within minutes it was all over our radios.

The guy was a compulsive liar. Claimed he had this phantom expensive computer for college. Studying computer science. Right. Whatever. He had been locked up several times for peddling drugs. He had no car, so used our buses to get around. Never went to any colleges. Unlikely he was studying at home by online schools either, given his travel patterns. Far as any of us were concerned, he tried to strongarm or worse his date, she kicked him out of of the car, and he made a phoney complaint about a computer that does not exist, and STILL won.

From that point on, any time he got on one of our vehicles, we gave him a strict verbal warning, and a small card stating the warning too, that any property left on our buses is NOT the employees nor agency's responsibility.

Dating is getting really weird nowadays. Seems the "Gimme gimme gimme" frivolous lawsuit trend has spilled over into the world of dating.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 14 (view)
 
A guy has never asked for my number before
Posted: 5/31/2017 12:16:02 AM
Well, it could be worse. Back when I worked in transit security, one of our regular passengers (Female, roughly my age) asked me for my number. In this business, those signs posted "Do not talk to driver" (Also applying to any security posted) are ALWAYS winked at. And you do get to talking to the "Regulars". Not so much in the big cities like New York, but at smaller agencies, it's same everywhere. I pointed to my employee shoulder patch on my right arm with my left hand (Which has a four digit number to identify the employee) and told her "It's right here. You wanna go start something with the boss? Wanna play perpetual victim? Move to the back, exit by rear doors, get out of my face" before I realized she wasn't asking for THAT number.

In my own defense, we DID get a lot of whiny crybabies who just have to call and complain because we were one minute late or because we actually expect the fare to be paid, or other goofy reasons.

Lost my chance, but it was a good laugh for all next time she was aboard. Even the supervisor got a laugh when he heard.

All humor aside, "Attractive" does not exactly mean "Ask for phone number" by my observations in day to day work. It almost seemed that the magic combo might be women who are only somewhat attractive, that the overly macho meathead types (Think self important self absorbed, not too bright high school quarterback type) would assume have some self image issues, and would be more likely to hand out a number. Of course, take this with a big grain of salt. Most of my observations come from the days I worked transit, which, where I worked, was mostly dregs of humanity.

Ride a bus every day for a month. Note the types of guys who will chat you up and want your number. You may find you are dodging a bullet here.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Divorce songs
Posted: 5/30/2017 11:51:04 PM
If the ex was like a ruthless tyrant, an old tune by Spike Jones and His City Slickers called "Der Fuehrers Face" would be a laugh. Male or female would probably work either way, considering I have worked around women I and other coworkers nicknamed "Hitlerettes".

Also digging into my vast collection of old music, if the ex was a rotten guy. a Glenn Miller tunes called "When That Man Is Dead And Gone" would also be appropriate. The song references Adolf (Common theme with music from that era. And pretty much the only type of person a song could openly mock the death of in those days) again, but apart from a very quick and easily missed "Satan with a small moustache", part hidden by the background music, it never mentions anyone in particular.

Of course, singing a parody with gender or other minor details changed, negates exact references in the song.

Or, living more dangerously, Weird Al's "Trigger Happy" could be a good laugh. Or it could get lawyers and cops involved.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 603 (view)
 
The slate is now clean and ready for a new year
Posted: 5/22/2017 5:39:22 PM
Nestaron is absolutely correct. One date that did not go well is just that. One date that did not go well. Chalk it up to a learning experience and move on.

At the shop I work at, I had a lady recently who brought her husband's old Lionel and American Flyer trains from the 1920s and 1930s in. She had heard that I do excellent repair and restoration work on old trains and can hand make replacement parts if need be. Something very hard to find anymore. But what customers do not see is all the early work I did on my old trains. The many old battered up, broken models bought dirt cheap to perfect my techniques on. And how poorly my first attempts went. It took a LOT of practice to get my skills down. Dating is much the same thing. You're going to have a lot of dates that do not go well. A lot of disappointment, and, like perfecting repair and restoration techniques, it's going to cost a bit of money most likely. But in the end, when you find the one, it will all be worth it.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 50 (view)
 
80k salary aint much a girl tells me
Posted: 4/30/2017 1:29:56 PM
1700s? No, born in the 1920s, my mother's side has been in America since the very early 1800s, their farm in Illinois was founded in the early 1840s, had it's sesquicentennial plaque up at some point in the early 1990s. So pretty much as firmly American with American values and mannerisms as anyone else.

But right there, is the difference. Yes, social values have changed. I would say changed for the worse. Instead of fixing things, we throw them out and replace them, and this includes people now too. Sure, my maternal grandparents had arguements, but worked their way through them. And knew how to respectfully disagree. Something that seems a bit lacking now too.

I think you're right about a lot of it, that people are making poorer choices.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 47 (view)
 
80k salary aint much a girl tells me
Posted: 4/30/2017 10:18:08 AM

love is great but does not last too long without money.


If you believe that I got a bridge out Brooklyn way I can sell you real cheap.

No, my grandparents, particularly my maternal grandparents would probably say different. Both passed on now, but they were farmers. Worked the land their entire lives. Never had much in terms of money. Heck, my mother (Born in the mid 1950s) remembers going to town in a buckboard wagon because a car was too pricey. Dad has a photo of mom, roughly 12-14 years old, with my uncle, and my grandparents (Their family photo) in that buckboard on their way to town. That would be mid 1960s! That should give an idea how little spending money they had sometimes. "Spare a thought for the farmer when you eat" grandpa always said "We do without so you can have that".

They did not have much in terms of money, but they were absolutely devoted to each other. Rarely have I ever seen two people so head over heels even decades later. Grandma developed breast cancer and ended up in a nursing home. Grandpa's health failed shortly after, and we think it was because being away from grandma got to him. He eventually left the farm in the control of my uncle (Who is a shyster, conned my grandparents out of everything around this time, but that's another story!) to go into the nursing home to be with grandma. His health immediately picked up. Grandma died first, and grandpa less than a year later. From the day grandma died grandpa was a very different man. Seemed to mentally reach back to the past. To better days. With grandma. Even asked me once if I had ever operated the train that stops at Golden (A small town that lost passenger service in the 1930s, a full half century before I was born!) Kept talking about grandma as if they were young lovers.

So, yeah, so much for love not lasting without money. You want real? THAT is real.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 39 (view)
 
80k salary aint much a girl tells me
Posted: 4/28/2017 5:33:38 PM
I wonder what the OP is complaining about? That some woman outed herself as an expensive leech? That she was upfront about it, as opposed to some expensive leeches who drain a person (Expensive leeches do come in male and female after all!) so slowly, the person being drained does not notice?

Think of it as trash taking itself to the curb. You know, you don't need it, and the sooner you get it outta there, the less it stinks up the place. Now if only my kitchen trash can took itself out too!

Odd, though, that in railroading, making a six figure salary is possible after some years of seniority (Depends on the company and part of the country though. Road I worked for locomotive engineers start around 90K per year), and yet so many people act like that 90K IS a lot. 80K and home every night, don't have zillions of rules and laws that also govern your OFF work time, versus 90K for lots of nights away from home, an ungodly work schedule until you get some seniority, and rules and laws that end up governing time away from work too. Doesn't make much sense really.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 158 (view)
 
this ladies, is how good guys become jerks
Posted: 4/28/2017 5:23:26 PM
OP is gone, most likely, but let me say this anyway.
If it only took a few minor actions from a new friend, actions you played into, no less, to turn you from a good guy into a jerk, then you were really a jerk from the beginning. No one, who truly is good, is turned by something so minor. Or so quickly.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 99 (view)
 
How has the Obesity Crisis affected your dating life(if at all)?
Posted: 4/27/2017 4:09:39 PM

Fat chance of me dating someone who is obese, so it doesn't affect me.


I see what you did there. Good one!
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 95 (view)
 
How has the Obesity Crisis affected your dating life(if at all)?
Posted: 4/26/2017 10:16:18 PM
Not sure if there is really a crisis, per se, or if the obesity crisis is really a component of a "Society crisis" (Think about it. Society practically DEMANDS an inhuman level of perfection as a standard, more people than ever are on medicine for this that or the other, weight gain is a common side effect of medicines, so it becomes a nasty catch 22. The fact we have more and more jobs that are desk jobs, jobs with limited physical activity does not help either) but in any event, as a big guy, it used to affect me a bit. Until I accepted that this extra weight, an unfortunate medical side effect from 2 decades ago that will probably never totally go away, will be a component of me. As such, if someone can't accept that, then goodbye! So I've come to think of it as a "Shallow" filter of sorts.

More than that, over the years I have become much more confident in myself. Walking 15 miles nonstop, except for brief pauses at traffic lights is easy. Do it nearly every Sunday. I often joke with people when I recommend good restaurants "I think a guy my size knows good food!" or "You want a salad recommendation go find a skinny beanpole. You want a burger or steak recommendation ask me!" Or my often quote "Round is beautiful!" along with "I AM in shape. Round is a shape! Ask any preschooler!" The confidence can be a real plus here. I suppose though, if the weight were solely a choice, maybe confidence would not be so great. But as the weight was not by choice, that this weight was the result of being on a medicine that the maker has since been subject to a class action lawsuit because of its side effects, that for all the exercise, losing it still isn't happening, the best I can do is to accept it.

The weight has one advantage. Being that it is medical gain, I still am very physically able. Some punk on the streets tried to mug me. Figuring a big fat guy is an easy target. Got the living crud knocked out of him instead. Cops told me that the worst part for him will be living down that a big fat guy beat him up and foiled his robbery attempt. A couple past relationships did figure this out. That physics is on MY side in a fight! Came in handy living in a high crime town at the time.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 4 (view)
 
You have replied to this post too many times?
Posted: 4/26/2017 9:57:39 PM
Wasn't in the ask a guy/girl boards, other people have since also replied.
Unlikely to be a mod issue either. Posted on the forums plenty, never had this issue before.

One of "Those things" sounds about right. POF has site issues like Washington DC has crooks and liars. In other words, they seem to pop out of nowhere, no one knows how to get rid of them, no one wants them, but theres no getting rid of them it seems.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 1 (view)
 
You have replied to this post too many times?
Posted: 4/26/2017 3:23:49 PM
Added a reply to a thread a couple days ago, went to add a second reply today (Others had posted replies since my first one) and got an error message when I clicked the reply button, that I have reached the max number of replies I can add to the thread.

Strange, because I only posted once, and others show multiple times.

Any ideas whats going on or of a workaround?
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 516 (view)
 
How many of you would date a man with no car or license???
Posted: 4/25/2017 7:30:54 PM
I think I've mentioned it before, but there are some of us who do have health issues that have prevented us from driving. Years ago, I was in an accident at work, hit my head hard, went right through a windshield. A seizure condition that was long dormant (For roughly 20 years) returned with a vengence. Between that and the heavy pain pills I was put on for back damage from the same accident, I felt it was best to voluntarily hand in my license, rather than risk an accident and have the DMV take it from me. In recent months, I have again obtained my license. The seizure condition is under control again, the back injury is still there of course but I am used to the pain and take less and less medicine for it.

It was a sort of "Neither here nor there" that yes, for the most part, a man who has no license probably lost it for good reason, but for some of us, the responsible thing to do would be to NOT drive. Why risk my life and the lives of others just to prove something?

Oddly, though, I found that nearly none of the issues I had would have actually kept me from going back into railroading. Trains do have safeguards against incapacitated locomotive engineers, but think of it this way: Driving a car? Dangerous. Operating a chemical train that could wipe out an entire small town if derailed at speed? Acceptable. Kind of makes you wonder.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Fiction and loneliness, a bitter sweet combo
Posted: 2/26/2017 4:37:13 PM
Basilisk, I have been, to a great degree in the same situation. Except for what drained my money (It was medical expenses in my case) and the allegedly "Religious" roommates (If they read THEIR Bible, they would find that looking down their noses at the less fortunate is the OPPOSITE of Christ's teachings. I've met plenty of "Holier than thou" types and they bother me, they give the rest of us Christians a bad name).

First off, let me address the FB friends, because that applies to a lot of us out there. I'll bet you anything they are not as happy as they seem. Yeah, you see the lovey dovey gooey junk, but do you see all the aggrivation and fights behind the scene? Very few, if any, couples are as happy all the time as they pretend in public.

Most of my adult life, save for one year working in computer support for law enforcement, and owning a PC repair shop for a few years, while also working transit security, has been in moving people and goods from Point A to Point B. Locomotive engineer, transit security, even maintenance at a railroad museum. Every single job in transport I got seriously injured on (So lets all take a moment to be thankful I never had the desire to become a pilot!). Nowadays, I frequently need a cane to walk around. That good money I made in railroading? Gone after an incident where my locomotive tipped and I got banged up pretty bad. Medical bills. Between being unable to return to the rails and losing that generous paycheck, and the care the railroads do not cover, I was pretty flat broke for a year. Fell back on my backup career choice for a couple years in IT. Thought my health trouble was over. Quit my job with the police (Caught my boss embezzling funds - it was Northeast Illinois after all, so no big surprise really - and refused to accept "Hush money". The vast majority of the force is still friends of mine, they respected my decision to quit). Went into transit security, as it was sill moving people point A to point B, home every night, and I enjoyed working around the passengers. Learn a lot about people that way, what they have in their lives going on, how they cope, how they survive. Not a bad job if you look at it that way, and the majority of the "Action" is telling kids to get their feet off that seat, and move back so an elderly passenger can sit in priority seating, which is better laid out for people with limited mobility. Got seriously hurt after a crash that put me through a windshield. Company sent me to their doctor, who said "You're fine" and cleared me to work. Went to my own doc, at my expense, found I had to discs in my back badly ruptured, possible slight memory problems from the impact, from going head first through a windshield - my old style cap, like what Jackie Gleason would wear, absorbed enough of the impact and glass, and is probably the reason I am still alive. Company refused to cover ANY expenses for the back or head injuries, and now, we find out, right shoulder too. So all my money. Gone. Again. Tried to fight it through the union. Did not work.

For two years after, I sunk into a deep depression too. I turned in my drivers license, as with a new seizure condition I got after the wreck, and the heavy pain pills, I decided it was too dangerous for me to drive. So there I was, badly injured, walking with a severe limp (Which has gotten better) not able to drive anymore, and no money. My former coworkers did not charge me to get on their buses, so that helped a little at least, but yes, it was a very lonely couple of years.

Now to the meaninful part. I started doing odd jobs for people in the neighborhood. Helped fix furniture (I am a fairly skilled carpenter, a skill I got as a life long model railroader too) for extra money. Did small repair jobs for my landlord. Spent three days repainting all the outside handrails on the building, which was a "California style" building, with outdoor walkways. Is there a skill you have that people would pay you for? Even something simple but time consuming, like painting a garage or shed. Right now it sounds like you got more time than money. So exchange time for money. Write up a few flyers, post them in the vestibules of grocery stores. When you do odd jobs for people, you meet people. Maybe not in a romantic sense, but even friends will go a long way to pull you out of that rut. Those so called religious roommates? See if they can put in a good word for you at their church, if any of the congregation has anything you can do. Don't be afraid to ask for transportation to the job. When I was repairing computers, I had NO problem getting a lift to the customers house if need be. Word of mouth really got around, that I was VERY good, and less expensive than anyone else, so most people were willing to make that concession.

Those little odd jobs really helped me a lot. Before After getting hurt at the railroad (Before working for the cops or the bus line) I did odd jobs for people. One of them was the alderman in my ward who was well connected in city hall, and was a BIG help in getting me set up with my own PC repair shop later on. The smallest thing can have a big impact.

I know this was a LONG post, but the idea was to illustrate my struggles, and how I worked through them. Maybe you'd get some ideas?
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Phukking TATTOOS!!!
Posted: 12/31/2016 5:46:36 PM
OP, I am not a fan of tattoos, mostly because as much as I hate needles, I simply can't fathom how people can let a stranger draw on them with permanent ink. But obviously people do. Lots of people. Now keep in mind that simply means I would never even think of getting one. Doesn't mean a thing about anyone else.

Let me ask you this though. Suppose you found a lady, who was attractive, had her own job, her own money, a good work ethic, was faithful and devoted to you, and then one day, you see she had a small tat somewhere on her? Would it be such a big deal that you would dump her? We all have preferences in who we date, but some things are bigger than others. For me, I will not date anyone with kids. That is non-negotiable. I would prefer to date a non-smoker, but that is not as important. You gotta prioritize what is most important, and what is least. And I can't see tats being all that important to where they are a deal breaker.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Getting over doing something awful..
Posted: 12/31/2016 5:37:27 PM
Though the OP is not here anymore, I do wonder if part of the ex's problem may come from being sexually abused earlier in life. Some of it sounds like me, before roughly 13 years ago, when I finally came to terms with what had happened. A lot of things sound at least similar.

"I have too much respect for you to have sex with you". Sounds like something I once said. Translated into "I still have trauma issues from something that has happened years ago. As I have not previously discussed this with you, it is more than I want to quickly dump on your shoulders".

But, who knows really? Could have been anything. And I am sure I am going to get some jerks here to make smartalek, trolling comments. But whatever.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How do I get from the dating part of the site to the forums and vice versa
Posted: 11/6/2016 5:40:45 PM
Click on "Inbox" near the upper left of your screen. Scroll to the bottom of the screen. In the lower left there will be a link that says "Event Rules for hosting an event ". Click that. It takes you to a Canadian subforum, but from there you will be on the forums.

Not sure why, but not having a "Forums" link just bugs me. Yes I could set a bookmark, but it just reeks of lazy or poor design to need to set one. But at least there is a way without typing in URLs or setting bookmarks.

Before I submit a post, I highlight the entire thing, and hit CTRL + C to copy it in case I have any login issues. Usually typing my first one after logging in, and hitting the submit button, it will take me to the login screen again. Hit the back button in the browser, CTRL + V to paste the post, if needed. Then hit submit again.

A bit annoying, but nothing too serious.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Would you ever date someone with dreadlocks?
Posted: 10/19/2016 12:08:57 AM

Of course ... the gun-weilding nut-cases usually put down the transit security guys and take the cash box to go buy more guns, ammo, and tin foil.


Yeah, nice try. Anyone with even halfway decent firepower, and your tin hat types, are NOT going to be robbing a farebox. Where I worked, the state gave out free transit passes to seniors, the disabled, AND low income people. Even our last runs of the day, those fareboxes probably won't even have sixty bucks of cash in them. Automatic felony, minimum 10 years prison for less than 60 bucks haul? Yeah. Sounds like the product of failed democrat thinking. A system that fosters government dependence. Working transit you see THAT every day. I actually take pity on a lot of them. Except for the "Gaming the system" jerks. And I can't think of a time a gun was involved in any altercations on the road. Knives, we had a few of them (Herniated a disc in my back pinning a coked up druggie who pulled a knife and demanded the money out of the farebox) but the job was mostly telling teenagers that a seat is NOT a footrest, chasing off panhandlers, and breaking up the occasional fights. That coked up knife wielding druggie had dreadlocks, and they stunk to kingdom come! Almost thought I was going to puke by the time the cops showed up. So yeah, I echo what others have said about cleanliness too.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Would you ever date someone with dreadlocks?
Posted: 10/14/2016 11:02:41 PM
Absolutely not! That's one of those fashion things that pretty much screams "Liberal douche idiot" and "Armchair activist" and "Social justice warrior scum". The various lines of work I have held over the years (Railroading, but more on point, law enforcement IT support and transit security) tend to be much more conservative than that. And dating a far lefty like that will not work well. I don't need some whiny armchair activist to question why I took the knife wielding nutcase who demanded the money out of the farebox to the floor and pinned him until the cops cuff-n-stuffed him. I don't need any of this "We must understand why he turned to crime" bull. No. From my end, it's "Understand this. You behave yourself, we will get along great. If you choose to cause trouble, you and me are going to have it out". In the years I worked transit security, I probably saw close to a thousand people every day. Can't think of a single dreadlocked woman who was not painfully obviously far left. No thanks. I've already reached my lifetime limit on scum I associated with and find myself happier keeping scum away from me.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 23 (view)
 
She 'totally forgot' our date
Posted: 10/14/2016 10:55:26 PM
She lost interest, and is too crappy to admit it or be upfront about it, so she's wasting your time now. Some people get a kick out of that "Hmm, lets see how long this person will hold out for me". Isn't hard to do better than that.

Now it is entirely possible she DID genuinely forget, at least at first. I, for example, have some severe work related injuries and at times have to take heavy pain meds. But in the years I have been prescribed that stuff, I learned to keep a note pat handy at ALL times, write down everything while under the influence of the pills. Made that mistake once, missed meeting up with someone, did NOT make that mistake again. But by her response, I seriously doubt it was anything like that. Just tell her IF she calls you "Sorry, I got no time for your games" and hang up.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Do you have any fetish/fantasy based on a restricitive mother?
Posted: 9/7/2016 12:35:14 AM
Pennylane,

Why don't you go back under your bridge troll? Most men would do well to avoid a woman who thinks violence with deadly weapons is OK provided it is against family. Pulling a knife and chasing your kids and husband through the house is flat out wrong. Attempting to burn them with irons is wrong. Too bad you can't understand that.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 47 (view)
 
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/4/2016 11:51:27 PM
SJ, it is not a matter of affording or not affording. It's a matter of being treated like a walking, talking ATM machine. Perhaps you would like to explain why someone I had only been dating for a few months is justified in wanting a total of five hundred dollars (Where I stopped counting - and I did not even figure in sales tax, which would add another fifty bucks on top of. When I asked which of her ideas she wanted, she bluntly said "I want all of them". I broke it off the next day) of presents? Glad I suggested walking around and getting an idea of what she wanted before plunking down any money. For the record, I had already bought her something that cost about forty bucks. A nice bracelet.

If you're going to get so bent out of shape about that, I bet you're a gold digging user too then. No one who is well adjusted is going to get that batty over the "Cliff notes" of why he found malls are a bad birthday date idea. But now that you know a bit more, you still feel justified in your high and mighty gold diggers gripe?
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Strange things about Meet me
Posted: 9/4/2016 11:41:55 PM
I suspect they are shill accounts. A free user gets a notification that someone wants to meet them, but to see who they are generally requires you to pay. Though there IS a loophole POF is trying to close off. So my guess is that these shill accounts "Want to meet" anyone who has logged in within a certain amount of time. Regular as clockwork, within 48 hours of logging into POF, I have several members who allegedly want to meet me. Then if I do not log in, get no more members who want to meet. The idea is that site owners hope people will pay to see who wants to meet them. Of course, these shill accounts are dumped quickly too. A fool and his money are soon parted.

Face it, pretty much any dating site is going to try to rip their members off somehow. POF just seems to have the closest way to legit to rip someone off. I mean, technically, it is the member's choice to pay still.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 10 (view)
 
The Birthday Bluez
Posted: 9/3/2016 10:54:38 PM
Might have been the mall suggestion. Speaking from experience, when she wants to go to the mall on a special day like that, it's going to cost an arm and leg. Learned THAT the hard way. And I learned NOTHING I could say would get me out of it without bigger problems.

Maybe he's been burned that way too before? You know the saying, once bitten twice shy?
 
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