Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Whats the rule on being ghosted?
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Whats the rule on being ghosted?
Posted: 12/21/2013 7:26:14 AM
Ditto to drivingharmony and LiterateHiker....when my phone refused to ring after what "I thought" (that phrase bears repeating) that device remained silent and I have to tell you I did the "whats wrong with me?" But then I started reading forums here and on other sites and got a sense of relief when I saw women who were very attractive, articulate, funny and the same thing was happening to them...for a while I was thinking if ONLY I were more attractive, articulate and funny men would be swooning

I have met gentlemen who were funny, articulate, polite, etc...and for whatever reason while we were doing the meet/greet they were thinking "hey I like this gal"....later on they thought "meh not so much"...I certainly have done the same

I have ghosted and BEEN ghosted....personally I am fine with it if you have only gone out a couple times
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Meeting her Tonight when neither of us seem to want to meet?!
Posted: 11/17/2013 5:37:22 PM
Yay Ryan!!!!

As mentioned, just enjoy, have fun getting to know each other and the future will play out the way as it should

You sound like a gem!

Best wishes
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Meeting her Tonight when neither of us seem to want to meet?!
Posted: 11/17/2013 7:30:54 AM
Hope you get back to this, would love to hear how it went, hopefully better than expected!!!
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How to handle this situation? (Regarding his personal belongings).
Posted: 11/16/2013 7:26:47 AM
Hi elecktrified

Have you been communicating about the stuff via text/e-mail? If you have be sure to keep them, while it is HIGHLY unlike let's say this guy is a real turd and takes you to small claims court and says "she never told me to pick up my stuff" Viola - you can show e-mail and text

I am not an attorney, I just play one on the forums :)

Kidding aside, it may not be a bad idea to keep this stuff in written form
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Religious/spiritual content in a first message
Posted: 9/29/2013 9:04:58 AM
The scammer scenario in entirely possible, on the flipside he may be an "everyday sort" that puts the Lord first.

I am catholic, a flawed one but practicing, and for me personally I would cringe a bit at the message. For me personally it is a little over the top, but he did save you both time by getting the information out in the first message
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
To trust or not to trust?
Posted: 9/22/2013 9:27:55 AM
Hi Sunshine

Glad to see that you are taking this advice well...and granted this guy may be a gent but not a good idea to have someone over so soon. I think you can find out about the parties fairly easy here.

Another thing I noticed in your post, that this gentleman said that POF is a joke (or something to that affect) and he had some woman stalk him - this could happen on ANY site - there are crazies everywhere, I usually roll my eyes when someone says that there are only losers on XYZ site.

Always go with your gut, and if some guy says "let's go to your house or my house to "watch" movies, my aunt just died and I need to fly to Switzerland for the funeral and I cannot afford airfare...." if something just sounds a little wonky just listen to your inner voice and if ANYTHING makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. When I am in a situation with something that isn't sitting well I think to myself "What would I tell a friend if she/he were in this circumstance?" That is usually a good indicator as well

Be smart and be safe :)
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
3 for 1 questions: Fake dating offers, ghosts and 1st impressions
Posted: 9/14/2013 8:27:23 AM
VolcanoKing

Speaking on MY behalf and several men that I have met both here and on other sites your second paragraph is laughable - I certainly don't fit into the description and I daresay guys I have met in last couple of years don't either - they are looking for someone to connect with just like me. Getting to this point has been trial and error - but I now feel very comfortable that after I have "vetted" with e-mail/phone calls and then meeting I am not meeting some crazed lunatic. But what I am meeting 99.9% of the time is a guy where that "magic" is missing either for me, him or both of us - this means no second date.

I do agree with your last paragraph, one needs to get out and do things they like and meet like minded individuals.

OP - here is the lesson I have learned - when I would meet someone and there wasn't a vibe I would wonder what is wrong with me? Now I just realize that the chances are fairly remote that it will lead to another date with neither myself or him being scumbags or lazy, just not enough commonality
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Dating a Suicide Survier
Posted: 7/13/2013 12:03:37 PM
OP if you are still peeking here every once in a while wishing you the best on your journey. Some very sound advice, you sound like a good soul

Several years ago I entered a very dark time of life and......well let's just say I am very grateful to still be around - thank God

THAT as well as other aspects of my life are extremely private and are kept under wraps until there is a comfort level that has been established between me and "Mr. Let's See if this goes anywhere" :) More often than not it doesn't as establishing rapport with someone is difficult, especially for us seasoned elders.

As others have voiced, when you are ready to date bring the topic up when you are most comfortable - but I certainly wouldn't bring it up on a first date - again agree with the others if at the end of the coffee date I know EVERYTHING about the guy sitting across from me it is usually exhausting.

Finally, I am not sure you would even need to disclose this to someone, this is a private event that happened in your life with another person
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Women and age-appropriateness
Posted: 6/22/2013 8:32:27 AM
Stephen nailed it.

OP riddle me this...if you were contacted a a woman in your age range and met all of your criteria would you say - gee I would love to meet you if only you were 25 years older than me.

Thank God POF has filters as I can block the youngsters, but I am not so lucky on another site, I get many e-mail from 30 - something who tell me the are "more mature" and relate better to older women. Some women will go for that, others like myself realize that while this 30 something year old may be more mature what he DOESN'T have is life experience
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Hasn't called back
Posted: 6/7/2013 9:17:21 PM
OP - you sound like a gem - and you truly are a GENTLEMAN for not degrading her character, shows that you have character

Now the not so good news which I think you already may be aware of, methinks that she has jumped ship..."I mean't to but I forgot"...ouch

Very early dating is a delicate dance and for whatever reason her behavior suggests that she has moved on...is she handling it badly - seems to be
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
dating people with stds good or bad?
Posted: 6/7/2013 6:38:05 AM
Perhapsagain - thank you for a fabulous answer....I found out about 7 years ago I have HSV and rocked my world, not in a good way, felt like a leper and avoided dating like the plague simply because "I had the plague" at least to me

I remember prior to finding out that if anyone told me this bit of news I would kindly show them the door, now that I have the gift obviously my perspective is different and I completely understand if a gentleman said "no thanks".

As you state, I do not disclose this on a first date, that is the getting to see if there is a vibe, I personally get uncomfortable when someone completely spills their guts on first date, getting to know someone is a process, not a relay race. But if there is attraction and intimacy looks like a possibility, then discussion would come up - I keep it simple "I need to tell you something BEFORE we think about doing anything naughty, I have HSV - if that sends you running to the hills I totally get it, but if you still have interest you should do some homework, there are reliable sites out there CDC and WebMD...however there are even more that cause hysteria - then you can decide for yourself
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Asking out a girl who's going through a rough time
Posted: 3/31/2013 11:38:35 AM
What Kellticam said

Women perceive things differently (no kidding, right :)) anyhow your friend may see whatever this young lady as going through as difficult and PERHAPS that is how young lady is relating this to friend...and maybe your friend has discovered she has a crush on you.

My vote - ask her out and see how it goes - another option is that it seems as though you hang out with a group of friends, is she part of this group? Group settings are a good way to get to know each oter
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Is my profile alright, or do I come across as a freak?
Posted: 3/24/2013 2:35:00 PM
Well, would you date you?

While your motives may be pure, you are screaming neediness and attention by the fact you started this thread.

But to answer your question precisely - I think your profile is alright and you do not come across as a freak (that is until you started this thread) I think there are plenty of women who would find you interesting
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
I Chose The Wrong Guy
Posted: 3/24/2013 7:46:08 AM
Eyes you sound like a gem, handled it the way I would have (which of course means perfectly :))

You reached out and by the sounds of things his response was a bit chilly.

I have been in both scenarios - I had a gentleman I only went out with twice, and from "my perspective" things were going smoothly, then I got the e-mail, he was seeing someone else and wanted to take that exclusive both wished each other the best. This was about 6 months ago -if he were to contact me today and ask how I was doing and would I like to go out - I would say yes immediately - why? From my perspective I wasn't second fiddle, just not the right fit...would it be the right fit now? Who knows.

I also had this happen to me, there were a couple of gentlemen I was seeing at the same time, one I felt a bit more of a connection with than the other, sent the polite e-mail saying - there is someone else and seeing where it goes - we ended with pleasantries and wished each other well. As is the case often, my new romance fizzled and I got to thinking about this gentleman and thought what the heck, dropped an e-mail...did not receive a response

Eyes best of wishes in your search for your special someone!
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
can someone explain?
Posted: 3/23/2013 2:55:49 PM
Handles it has the perfect reply
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 242 (view)
 
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 3/23/2013 2:33:49 PM
^^^^^^

Good grief

For whatever reason when I read that I was reminded of a Seinfeld episode - Jerry and Elaine are standing in line and some guy dressed as a clown goes nuts...and as clown walks away Jerry says "That is one angry clown"

Message 253 wt1 - You stated it succintly
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 240 (view)
 
I want a quick first meet, he wants a leisurely dinner!
Posted: 3/23/2013 10:25:40 AM
My God there are over 250 responses to this topic....yes I did a glance through and get the sense that there are differing opinions...some seem nearly fanatical that meeting for dinner is the only option...others fear for their lives...

The answer is simplistic - whatever feels like a good fit for both, for me personally I go for the coffee meet and greet for the simple point that it is little investment of money and a BOTH PARTIES decide if their is a connection...or not. If I had e-mailed and spoken with someone and there was a good rapport and he INSISTED that we go to dinner I would probably go as long as I wasn't getting any creepy vibes that he was a loon and control freak. My experience has been that first meets for dinner "usually" struggle and honestly I am not sure why.

Being older and wiser, I do a good job of separating the kooks from potential dating partners - and by and large the fellas I communicate with are on the same page as me - lets keep the first meeting simple and see if there is chemistry
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Puzzled: Disappearing Acts, Questionable Motives, etc
Posted: 3/16/2013 7:57:21 AM
Here's my take on this - it happens

I have become pretty savvy over the years in communicating with gentleman and by and large when we get to the actual "meet and greet" it fizzles - and NO it wasn't that he misrepresented himself in his pictures or that he isn't an articulate man...just that elusive "vibe or chemistry" isn't there. More often than not we finish up with him saying "I will give you a call" sometimes I say - ya know I don't think there is much for us to work with here and usually they looked relieved :). There is the occasional I will give you a call and I figure they are just being polite (yes that topic has been beaten to death - the old "why do you say you will call and they don't) but back to topic we "both" know that there will be no phone call

Men see you online - who cares? Do they think you are a "loser" since you are on here...guess what they are here doing the same thing :)


I go to meet and greets with what I think is a realistic expectation - that through no fault of either one of us the magic or whatever you want to call it is not there
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/12/2013 6:16:46 AM
Ahhhh, I got zinged very well :) had it coming as there were comments I should have ignored instead of acting like a kid at recess

I like the concept but it is not nearly as imaginative, I am a horse fanatic (no kidding) and I got my first laptop when I was 44

Since this is a fishbowl I am hopeful that this thread will belly up, as the originator I am going to step away

Have a terrific Tuesday everyone!
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/11/2013 9:04:55 PM
Thanks Mr. Rancher and Hotmerlot - I appreciate it.

But as I said, we are all entitled to how we view profiles....

I myself like analyzing usernames - I wonder if the purses he carries don't match up with the gals, or perhaps he has great taste in handbags and wouldn't "be caught dead" carrying some of the handbags women carry about

Just a thought
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:26:58 PM
to each is own I suppose... some liked it, some didn't
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
23 Years and Counting
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:35:19 PM
Ouch, bit of a rough corral in here, Zuglo and Cynthia I think we are on the same page

OP no one here knows the circumstances except you, if the planets align and you can re-kindle the relationship God speed :)
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Don't know
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:17:32 PM
jlynn you sound like a gem - hope your meet and greet date leads to a second date!
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:03:57 PM
Hi deere

You and I are on the same page - please read my post, I make no reference to him being a criminal, I make no reference to being damaged - now if my profile were registered and copy righted and all other legality then yes there would be a problem

Simply put - creep

Sorry deere - my bad, I just went back, I used the word violation, too extreme, obviously my reputation or safety is not in danger
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/10/2013 4:21:33 PM
Belle I believe you are correct, but to be completely fair I must bash women as well ~ women need naps too ;)
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/10/2013 2:28:11 PM
Yes Travis I did, I felt it was of vital importance to get my message out - all men are awful

But to keep the peace, women are quite capable of cutting and pasting profiles as well - so that makes women just as awful

Good grief
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Humor Me With Your Dating Stories
Posted: 3/10/2013 10:28:01 AM
Oh there are some fabulous stories here and some that are just cringe worthy

I think I am one of the very few people in the world that has to show up for a date and their picture to look completely different, by and large everyone has represented themselves well...but the proof is in the pudding, and I have had some meet and greets that were jaw dropping

The most recent was a gentleman that I met, he boasted about how he was a political consultant, well after listening to him rattle on I came to the conclusion that he actually had a screen shop that made signs that you see in people's front yards at election time - now PERHAPS he provides political advice as well???

Now he revealed that he LIVED at his screenshop, that he had poured all of his money into his business and that he didn't see much sense in paying rent as he was a bachelor...but yes this did hurt his dating life - I thought I bet it does but after a while I thought ya know, he is being frugal and nothing wrong with that if you have a business, though the thought of smelling a screen shop on a romantic date was less than appealing.

But what took the wheels of the wagon was his arrogance toward other races, I don't think it was quite racism (at least in his mind) I got the sense that this was his everyday vernacular - regardless I found it offensive. By the end of the date I had enough and we parted pleasantly and I "thought" he wasn't too impressed with me so all was good. I got a text from him the next day expressing interest - uuuggghhh

So I sent him a nice e-mail along the lines of you seem like a nice ambitous guy, but some of your comments about others was off putting and made me uncomfortable. He responded back with a pretty nice e-mail saying hey I get your not interested but could you tell me what I said, I don't recall anything that may have been out of line - I gave him kudos for that. So I wrote back a note and explained what I heard - he either thought my point was valid or I was nuts
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:36:27 AM
You most certainly can..as I stole it myself :) - not from POF, I read it on some random blog. I also did a "disclaimer" that I didn't write it...and it was so long ago that I "permanently borrowed that phrase" I cannot remember if there was an author listed or not
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:57:02 AM
Well, this gentleman looked at my profile, when I looked at his he had cut and paste all of my written profile...now if he copied my pictures too that would be uber creepy, ESPECIALLY if he were trying to meet a gal :)
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:36:35 AM
Thank you for the kind words DMZ, I appreciate it, I do like to write and think I am proficient in that department - I also like what you said - you get to a certain age and if you are so unsure of yourself that you have to copy another profile

Now a thought just crossed my mind, if a gentleman contacted me first and said hi I like what you wrote, do you mind if I cut and paste to my profile - that to me would be a compliment
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:28:38 AM
Helen I hear ya...and I was hopeful that he had flubbed some of he/she stuff, but he did change the pronouns :)
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Gave me the creeps
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:06:24 AM
So I was looking at another dating site that I am on and see that a gentleman has looked at my profile, take a look and shocked to see that he has cut and paste my profile - and I just thought ewwwww, while on a very small scale, it does feel like a violation. I have seen where people place in their profiles warning of copying and pasting - I get people doing that but for a dating site I personally wouldn't, now if I were writing something similar to the Harry Potter series :)

I sent him a "crisp" note - something along the lines of "so I am gathering that you are so unimaginative that you have to cut and paste other people's profiles, you must be a delight meeting in real person, do you have a script in front of you and hope to God the person across from you doesn't flub their lines?"

Anyhow, just a rant for a Sunday morning
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Can't post his pic due to job restrictions...
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:42:14 AM
I agree with English Gal, unless he is James Bond I suspect his "job" is being some gal's husband

He can always attach his photo to e-mail he sent you here (probably not wise to give him your personal e-mail at this point)

Ok just read Igor's post and he brings up some very valid points with the internet, for this instance I will give this guy the benefit of the doubt and maybe he is a CIA operative or in a witness protection program you just NEVER know what is going on that other side of the screen

More editing, I see that he responded that he is very attractive and you wouldn't be disappointed, my gut instinct is that there is a "Mrs. Job" :)
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
had a date off here last nite
Posted: 2/2/2013 8:21:49 AM
I'm with Whisky on this one...but I am gonna steal your phrase of Bitter Bobbies as I was gonna use the Debbie Downers :)

As some have said such a refreshing change to read here that someone had a great time and looking forward to going out again....since I don't know you I am not going to make assumptions as why you wanted to go back to her house

Just enjoy each others company and have fun getting to know each other!

Best wishes
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Are Women Intimidated By Attractive Men?
Posted: 1/27/2013 8:19:51 AM
Absolutely!! I am "secure" enough to say that I am "insecure" in the company of a good looking guy. Funny I came upon this topic as I was on another dating site this morning and had a guy look at my profile, I read his and almost cried I was laughing so hard - very funny, very bright and VERY handsome...way way way out of my league. Regardless sent him an e-mail and said I enjoyed reading his profile
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Should I keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:49:50 AM
OP

Sounds like the gent is being very honest with you - he prefers to be alone, nothing wrong with that. May I ask how old he is?

I am going out on a limb - you certainly sound reasonable and your gent friend sounds reasonable, just don't think you are compatible
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Already Over? Or is there is hope?
Posted: 12/31/2012 10:13:24 AM
Sweets you sound like a gem - you really do...and by what you have described he sounds like a nice guy

Now the bad news - for "whatever" reason, it seems he has lost interest....he left and had time to reflect and thought I am not quite as interested as I thought

If you start to participate in the forums you will find that this happens ALOT, sometimes the guy is a creep or the girl is a creep (pretty even playing field if you ask me).

I also think there are plenty of instances as you described, it "appeared" that the planets were aligning but then the phone is quiet, I am willing to be there will be times you meet someone where the "meet & greet" goes well and then think that "I am not as interested as I thought I would be"

Now he may still call, and if you are open to going out again I would say you should.
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Broken up without breaking up??
Posted: 12/16/2012 7:59:07 AM
OP -

Sorry to hear of your situation...I have "you know what" that is managed with medication and common sense...did she fall off the wagon? Possibly, I don't know her. On the other hand did she just bail as often happens at the 3 month mark? I am more inclined to go with that scenario.

You sound like a good guy, and for all we know she is a great gal, but for reasons only she can answer she has pulled the plug
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Height Issue?
Posted: 11/12/2012 6:36:26 AM
OP - As a tall gal (5'11") I feel like godzilla lumbering along next to someone less than say 5'8" (yes I have a keen eye) and I appreciate your honesty, when I see a gentleman lists himself at 5'8" generally speaking he is 5'7". Have I missed out on some great relationships? Probably. Will I miss out on some future relationships due to this issue? Most Likely. My preference and I suppose some insecurity.

To the gal who makes a reference to women who are overweight - I don't want to steal this topic from height, but your arguement doesn't work in this situation, at least in my opinion. Do I think women should starve themselves to death to get a date? Nope. But people (men and women) need to take care of their overall well being, I would not date someone who weighed say 75 overweight. I recently lost about 28 pounds (though recently I "found" 5 of those :) ) it took alot of hard work physically and watching my diet, but I feel better and gives me more confidence in the dating world

And finally the gentleman who makes reference to 7 figure preference - where did you get this information? Show my a "legitimate" article or publication on this very topic, then you can bring it to the table
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
My ex fiance
Posted: 11/11/2012 8:15:10 AM
You want to stop texting...or do you (be honest with yourself)

The solution, don't text back....try not to text "hey don't contact me anymore" and more than likely she will reply with "why" and you will be back on the merry go round....EXACTLY where she wants you

Simply don't text back, she will get the message
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Dont understand this one,,but RED FLAG
Posted: 11/10/2012 7:23:27 AM
Ok, happiness - now what? The only way to determine if he is looking for a property to purchase

-You call him
-He calls you

He has not contacted you in several days, I believe that is your answer
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Dont understand this one,,but RED FLAG
Posted: 11/4/2012 9:06:02 AM
Boy I hope the OP shares if the check cleared or not...I feel like I am reading some mystery book and there are 9 pages left, I am on the edge of my seat, well, not quite< I have the flu so my laptop and TV will be a source of entertainment today
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Was he just not that into me or could he be afraid of commitment?
Posted: 8/26/2012 8:07:01 AM
OP -

As you stated, Windchimes gave the best response...at least in my opinion :)

He doesn't know what he wants, and he has articulated that pretty well, at least in my book.

Will he come around again? Time will tell, but for the moment I wouldn't judge too much if he likes a comment on FB or sends you articles, be cordial, but not needy :)

I can only base it on his e-mail to you, but he sounds like an upstanding guy, if he wants to re-kindle a relationship with you, he will TELL you, if not you will have a good memory with a nice man

Best Wishes!
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Chance Encounters
Posted: 8/26/2012 7:19:24 AM
Some great responses to this thread, there was a quote a couple posts back, something like "your relationship with that person was only mean't to be for that very moment"

As for me, depends on how insecure I am feeling that day, :) I have lost some weight and holding my head a little higher, it "seems" that I am getting a bit more attention, but thus far have not been swept off my feet in the 7-11. After a session at the gym I am grotesquely sweaty; I don't dare eye contact even with a lamp post :)

Go to Craigslist - Missed Connections, while alot of them are creepy and stalkerish, some are kinda sweet

Happy Sunday
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Meeting for first time after e-mailing/phone calls? How Long?
Posted: 7/8/2012 9:08:40 AM
Cowboy got it right - at least for me, but everyone has their preferences I suppose..although I am a bit more generous with time - usually an hour :)

Like many, I go through dating "spurts". Initial phone conversation is key, I met someone a few weeks ago, the e-mail had been GREAT, talking on the phone - not so much, it was a struggle. We did meet and it was a bust, just no chemistry - darn it.
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Online Dating Whats the Truth??
Posted: 6/10/2012 9:26:24 AM
The truth is getting to know someone is a tricky business.

I have met my share of basket cases such as "gee I "thought" I was divorced or "are you attracted to men when they wear diapers?" But these circumstances have been MINUTE to the number of gentlemen who like me, are looking for someone to connect with, start to date, etc. There is nothing "wrong" with them just as there is nothing wrong with me (or so I would like to believe :)) but at the end of the meet and greet it is determined that there is no vibe, connection, wanting to go out again, etc.
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Time for a tune up!
Posted: 5/27/2012 2:57:14 PM
Wow, thanks everyone for your input...and Campfire for your analysis. I will "soften up" as you suggest, I am a bit rough around the edges.

Now on the flipside I have been getting quite a few responses from gentlemen, some have been a click, others not so much
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Seriously, Would this creep you out???
Posted: 5/13/2012 9:30:20 AM
Yep, I have to say it would creep me out, especially if we hadn't met yet. OP you very much sound like a sincere guy and I certainly "get" where you are coming from

But I do see there are a fair share of replies here that would not be creeped out by it
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Friends, girlfriends and a nasty message...
Posted: 5/12/2012 7:15:16 AM
Geek -

Ahhhh, eearily similar situation for me, except we were engaged, I called off wedding, this was an extremely complicated relationship and despite all of it, we remained friends, we were "buddies" and as you, we viewed each other as siblings.

He started dating, and met a wonderful woman (I never met her, but friends state she is) but wanted to continue being buddies. I said nope, your life is moving on it is time to close our chapter. I am truly happy for him, he is a fabulous and deserves to be happy, he always wanted to be married. He has been married for about 6 years. Now, he will contact me from time to time, maybe twice a year, he will hear through the grapevine some family event or "drama" and just wants to see what is going on...I have not physically seen him in about 7 years.

Back to you Geek, my advice is to close this chapter, sounds like fiancee snoops around in his e-mail, that is his choice to stick around or not. If she is insecure that is his business. Keep a good thought for him

You sound like a gem, I hope your new relationship is a keeper!
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Time for a tune up!
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:24:47 AM
You noticed that too! My friends/family were all over that picture and thought it was fabulous, there are pockets in the dress and my hands are in them which I think "flares" the dress out a bit, but I agree, it does give the "she is kinda flabby below the belt"

And you could be right about the soulmate stuff, but that entire statement is true (at least at this time in my life) the only thing I am on a "quest" for in a relationship now is seeing if there are "possibilities"

Thanks for your input!
 
Show ALL Forums