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 Author Thread: Why Lie?
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why Lie?
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:07:44 PM
they [men]dont realize that honesty about the situation works sometimes as well.

kthyg, boyzni3, it may be that honesty works. However, based on our experience many men, myself included, believe that such honesty would result in our being rejected and our face slapped. Most of the time we lie and still we are rejected so, if honesty was more successful, you would think we would learn.

However, it is complicated and not always the way I made it sound. Often times we meet girls we would love to marry but we still want to get into their pants. Then we use every trick we can (probably some very foolish) with a few minor lies mixed in with the truth.


So honest at such a young age!!!! You are saying what alot of women don't want to hear.

Horses, I just wanted to point out something so often overlooked. That is, that people are conditioned to do they are rewarded for and they avoid doing things they are punished for.

Actually, attempting to reward guys in a situation like I described would not be practical. Girls would be rewarding guys they couldn't possibly bring themselves to sleep with. Over the ages, men have evolved to be very good at lying and women have evolved to be very good at detecting their lies. It's part of the battle of the sexes.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Profile with picture of a very beautiful woman-contact her?
Posted: 1/28/2008 8:28:51 PM
An average looking guy knows that he doesn't have a chance with a beautiful girl. However, he still would like her attention. Therefore, he will not make a pass or suggest a date, but he may attempt to engage her in a friendly conversation.

Most guys will contact a beautiful girl in a manner that is hopeful but cautious. That is, friendly but not familiar. Initially the message will not include anything sexual nor will the message suggest anything that would allow them to be "shot down'. Depending on if and how the girl responds, in the next message the guy might do some very light non-threatening flirting.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Turning 21 and i have a two year not only i'm single !!!!
Posted: 1/28/2008 7:51:29 PM

Just wondering, if a guy has his tounge peirced, is he easy too? Or is he just a homo? Its funny how people view others peoples artistic interests as them being easy.

It is bad enough when guys have more than a couple of tattoos and maybe an earring. If a guy goes off the deep end and gets his tongue pierced, I'm not going to associate with him. Fortunately, they have no change of being hired where I work.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Is this rude behavior?
Posted: 1/28/2008 4:30:52 PM
The best thing is to do the right thing and not worry about what others do and in that way you will be doing your part to encourage others to do right.

People naturally tend to follow the prevailing custom. If most people do what is right, that encourages other to do the same. If only a few people do what is right, the tendency is to think, "Why should I put myself out, if others are not going to." Good behavior begets good behavior and rudeness begets rudeness.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why Lie?
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:54:02 PM
Why say you want a relationship when you just want sex? ***
Seriously though, has anyone ever had something good come out of a lie?

Of course we gain by lying in relationships. By lying men get sex. That is a gain. The reason we lie is so elementary I suppose you overlook it. Men lie because women reward men that lie with sex and they punish men that tell the truth by denying sex.

If a guy tells you the truth by saying, “Lady, you are not good enough for marriage but I would like to get into your pants a few times while I am looking for a prettier gal” then you will punish him by denying sex. However, you may reward him with sex if he lies and says, “Pretty lady, where have you been all my life? You are special.”

I and other men don't worry about drama because, after we get you pants we are going to dump you and move on to another girl. That way we avoid the drama.

Women don’t want the truth. If they did, they would reward honesty with sex.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
asked this of guys, I want to hear from women too
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:00:16 PM
The catch is, every time I go out with a guy, the question of sex comes up. I'm a virgin and proud of it! I fully intend on saving myself for my husband, him and only him***
What can/should be done here? Any insight at all would be appreciated.

Guys are different so you need to play it by ear. Some guys will hit you up for sex on the first date and of course you will decline. If they suspect you are a virgin and ask if you are a virgin then simply say, “Yes” and don’t give a reason unless the guy ask. If the guy then responds with, "Oh s**t" or some equivalent expression or attitude then say, “I believe we should just end this date as friends because I don’t believe I’m the kind of girl you are interested in.”

In that event, some popular guys that are used to having their way will make some snide remark and angrily suggest taking you home. Most girls, if they are really attracted to the guy, to keep from loosing him will apologize for making him angry or even give in. Don’t make that mistake. Stand you ground and, if he really likes you, he will back down. If he doesn’t back down, you are only good enough for sex and I can guarantee he is not going to marry you.

If you don’t stand your ground and you apologize, either that date or the next, he is going to take your virginity and dump you and it doesn’t matter what your rules are because psychologically you (just like so many other girls) will not be able to refuse giving in.

Other guys will proceed much slower. By the third date, unless the subject of sex doesn’t come up, you can let the guy know you are a virgin and your reasons. Really, don’t worry about it because whether you tell him or not, it is not a deal breaker. If the guy likes you, you can do no wrong. If he doesn’t like you and sees you as no more than a lay, the relationship has no hope of developing into marriage.

Men and women on this site will claim you have to have sex to know if you will be sexually compatible. That is garbage. The women all know that men prefer virgins and want you to give up your virginity because they don't want to compete with virgins. And the guys just want girls to be easy so they can get sex.

Sex before marriage is almost worthless in determining sexual compatibility. To get married gays have faked interest. It is usually after sexually active people get married that they discover sexual incompatibility. That is because their sexual partner was on their best behavior before marriage. After they are married, women that engaged in sex before marriage discover their husband is gay, that he has a fetish for anal sex, group sex, or that he wants to watch his wife have sex with other men.

Talking is a better way to discover those fetishes. You already know if you are attracted to guys and whether or not you desire sex. You know from slow dancing and other things if a guy finds you sexually attractive. You don’t need to have sexual intercourse to know that you will be sexually compatible. If you and the guy are normal, don’t have fetishes, and are not gay, you will be sexually compatible.

Marriages are 40 times more likely to break up over money or the stress over being fired, or an accident, or having to move, or a death in the family than sexual incompatibility so worry about that; not the much less likely sexual incompatibility. Marriages are six times more likely to break up over different ideas about children or in-laws so worry about that; not sexually incompatibility.

Other than if the partner is gay or has unacceptable fetishes, if you are attracted to the guy and he is attracted to you, there is almost a 99 percent probability that you will be sexually compatible.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Fellas it's your turn(what makes you a good catch?)
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:15:25 AM
Because I'm young, smart, sexy, and good looking. And because I believe in finding them, loving them, and then leaving them after a brief fling. How can anything be more attractive than that to a girl.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How should I have reacted?
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:09:36 AM
She went to his place and got drunk and watched movies.
I accused her of cheating and she got mad at me, and refuses to forgive me.

Why would you think she was cheating? Of course they had sex, but what proof do you have that it was anything more than sex?
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Turning 21 and i have a two year not only i'm single !!!!
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:00:50 AM
but just cause i have my tongue pierced dont mean im easy..

That may well be. However, if you have your tongue pierced, I believe you are easy and I bet my opinion is the opinion of most men. That doesn't mean I am going to test my belief with you, because if, unless she is beautiful, if I think a girl is easy, I am not interested.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 255 (view)
 
My profile says a few extra pounds but men still expect to meet someone who's skinny.
Posted: 1/28/2008 2:06:02 AM

To see what women look like at their true weights, check this out:
http://flickr.com/photos/77367764@N00/sets/72157602199008819/

That is interesting. However, BMI is mathematically flawed since everyone is not the same height. Taller people will have an higher BMI than shorter people with identical proportions.

A person weighing 150 lbs and 6 feet tall would have a BMI of 18.5. A person 5 feet tall with identical proportions would weigh 86.8 lbs and have a BMI of 17.

A person 4 feet tall with identical proportions would weigh 44.4 lbs and have a BMI of 13.5. A person, identically proportioned, 3 ft in height would weigh 19 lbs and have a BMI of 10.

It doesn’t make much difference for adults that are close to normal height and it is somewhat offset because shorter people may be proportionally bigger boned than taller people.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 254 (view)
 
My profile says a few extra pounds but men still expect to meet someone who's skinny.
Posted: 1/28/2008 1:19:56 AM

Smjle, your photobucket is full of images of either obese women or dangerously thin women. ...You might want to password protect that, there is some personal info there that is googleable ...

Thank you. I thought it was password protected, but maybe not if you don't log out and post one of the photos.

Nevertheless, I removed the photos of regular people and stuff that might be considered personal. I believe rest are TV shots and images easily found on the internet.

By the way, I'm sure all the women you call dangerously thin are mostly models you will find on Saks 5th Avenue web and a couple of movie stars so apparently they are the desired weight since that is what sells.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Dating a guy who knew I was a single mother!
Posted: 1/27/2008 1:12:13 AM
First, you should not expect men to think like you because your way of thinging is not in their genes.

Second, psychologically, the more effert you put into acquiring something, the more valuable it is. You were easy so you were not very valuable.

Third, the man didn't intend to find you, have sex, and leave you; however, it is in his genes to behave in that manner. With men, new is better. When you two met, you were new; you were exciting and different. He believed he would love you forever. However, after he had you a few times, you were no longer new and exciting. Therefore, it is only natural that he lost interest and that you were no longer worth the his time and effort.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 223 (view)
 
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/26/2008 1:31:11 AM
Cntrygirl, at your age, having a child has very little to do with the fact that the men you want are not interested in you. It is just an excuse that prevents you from looking at the facts. Before you were pregnant and gained weight and based on your good facial features, hair, and completion, I feel certain that your were a slinder teenage redheaded beauty that could pick and choose from almost any good looking available guy.

Now you no longer have the youth and looks to have anyone you want so your choices are more limited. Regardless of their comments to be nice, it is in their genes for men to prefer younger women. Even if you had not had a child and gained weight, you could not compete with the girl you were at 19.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
5 MONTHS OF EMAIL AND MESSENGER CONVERSATION. EXPERIENCES
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:49:54 PM
I have never had that experience so I cannot advise. Typically you meet ten people to find one that survives for more than several dates. In your case, it would seem that the odds are much better. Probably 1 in 3 or 1 in 4. Therefore, more likely than not it will not last.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Can't seem to get past a second date...
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:44:00 PM
If is rare for that to happen. If it happened 2 times, you remember and think it is normal for you. However, that is not the case. Just forget it and keep looking to date.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:38:21 PM
At your age you have a good idea of your level of desirability. While it is natural to seek a little better, if someone is far out of your league, you know it is hopeless. While it may be fun to flirt and get their attention such as if you meet a movie star, you will not embarrass yourself by attempting to seek anything more.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
A frustrated 23 with mild ED.
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:28:16 PM
At your age more likely than not it is because you had failure and now you are afraid that you cannot. If you are afraid that you cannot then you cannot.

The best thing is to spend several nights in a row with your girlfriend with the expectation that you will not have sex; especially, the first night. If you are not expected to have sex, you will not be afraid that you will not be able to perform and so sooner or later you will relax become sexually excited and have sex. That, in your mind, proves to your girlfriend that you can perform and will eliminate your fear which prevents you from performing.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Muscular women... Turn-on or off?
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:13:47 PM
Cheerleaders, ice skaters, distant runners have highly developed muscles. However, the muscles are not large. Such girls are very sexy.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 23 (view)
 
men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:09:51 PM
No, I would not date her. Not for long. I feel like she is lacking something and, if she is not much interested then I am not interested.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
For the Guys!
Posted: 1/24/2008 10:54:30 PM
I think little sex sounds and/or words are nice but not very loud. If a woman is loud, I am inclined to think she is acting.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Waiting for sex... a woman's problem...
Posted: 1/24/2008 10:46:35 PM
The problem is simple and easy to understand. Because he failed to perform, he is afraid that he cannot get an erection. If a guy is afraid that he cannot get an erection, then he will be unable to and you can take that to the bank.

What you need to do is to visit for a weekend or several days and tell him that you want to sleep with him and cuddle but that you are not going to have sex. That will remove the pressure on him to perform. Once the pressure is removed, he will not be afraid. Therefore, he will become sexually excited and you will end up having sex.

Do that a couple of times and he will know that you know he can perform. Therefore, he will not be afraid and thereafter he will normally be able to perform.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
sex on a 1st date
Posted: 1/24/2008 10:22:16 PM
No, except in the unlikely event that the woman initiated it because, unless the girl is easy, attempting to seduce the girl on the first date would be counterproductive to getting into her pants. Even if she initiated it, I would be inclined to decline because the risk of catching some disease is many times greater with girls that are that easy. Plus, if they are easy and give it away to every guy they date, what have you accomplished?

My rule is that the man should be a perfect gentleman on the first and probably the second date because nice girls, the girls you prefer to have sex with, need time to become acquainted and to feel that you don't just see them as a sex object.

Initially girls will have the defenses up and if you come on too strong too fast they may keep their defenses up. By taking your time, girls are more inclined to lower their defenses and that improves your odds of getting into their pants on subsequent dates.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 228 (view)
 
Why a virgin?
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:56:08 PM
I see nothing attractive about a 30 year old virgin. However, an 18 to 20 year old virgin girl is more valuable and more desirable as a wife or even as a sex partner than an equally attractive non-virgin girl.

Young men place a premium on virginity. Young women place no premium on virginity in a young man and probably prefer young men with some sexual experience.

Therefore, logic dictates that a young man that is seeking a virgin should have sexual experience.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Single Parents are NOT easy!
Posted: 1/24/2008 9:35:30 PM
Nothing is guaranteed; some single moms are easy and a few single moms and divorcees will hold off until they are married. However, men will play the odds. As a rule divorcees and single moms are accustomed to having sex and men find it easier to get into their pants than to get most single women to drop their panties.

Men know that most single moms will say they are not looking for a one night stand or a sexual fling; however, that does not mean that most single moms are not easy. There is very little correlation between what they say and what they do.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Expectations from prospective partners
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:04:41 PM
It's the concept of having loads of guys wanting to date me that made me chuckle

My goodness! Of course, lots of guys would love to date you. You have outstanding bilateral symmetry. That is a characteristic of good looks and it’s also an indicator of good genes. Everyone on your "Fan" page has rated you a 10 and your profile averages a mid to high 7 by guys 18 to 40 that rated your photo. That is much higher than average.

You appear wholesome and your profile and posts indicate that you are responsible and intelligent. You can afford to be selective and I feel certain that you are which limits the guys that you would date.

Your height requirements are going to eliminate 2/3rds of the guys. However, I don't see that as a problem. You don't have time to meet more than a small percentage of guys in your area anyway so you don’t need to be investing any of your time with them.

I feel certain that you are very responsible and put your child first. That means you don’t go out and party much like most single gals and that limits your opportunity to meet guys. In any event, you are not going to meet guys at home; so, while it is right that you put your child first, you still need to find time for yourself so that you can get acquainted with the guys that would love to meet and date you.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 223 (view)
 
My profile says a few extra pounds but men still expect to meet someone who's skinny.
Posted: 1/24/2008 5:20:15 PM
How many of you guys think this girl is huge and would you ask her how many doughnuts she ate?

http://www.plusmodels.com/directory/TammyC_1.jpg

Most men will find her attractive. She has good features and she is not excessively over weight. I'm sure most men would not ask her how many doughnuts she ate.

The following woman also has some nice features; however, most men would consider her too fat and might comment about her weight or how much she eats.
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c208/Smjle4me/Boat.jpg
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 276 (view)
 
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 1/24/2008 4:11:44 PM

Smjle, I'd like to know what mathematical equation you're using to come up with your waist to hip ratio (WHR). Also, you sound like there's some definition in the dictionary that says curvy means a 0.7 WHR. Please note: if you look up curvaceous in the dictionary it states, "having a well-proportioned feminine figure marked by pronounced curves." I think the issue here is it's a matter of opinion. To come out like you're an authority of some sort is ridiculous. Again, I was serious about the math thing. If you read my post clue me in. I am suspect however of anything that deems Kate Moss as curvy.

Curvy is an hour-glass figure. An hour-glass can be tall and slender or short and wide. An attractive girl will have a waist to hip ratio (WHR) of of 0.8 or less. Hott is 0.7 or less. Kate Moss has a WHR of 0.7. That means she has an hour-glass figure and therefore she is curvy.

A WHR of 0.7 is a sign of good health and the ability to produce children and give birth with few problems. Heavy set women with a WHR of greater than 0.8 like to refer to themselves as curvy so that has come to be accepted as another definition of curvy. However, they are at greater risk ofheart disease and diabetes than women with an hour-glass figure. The following are a couple of web sites regarding WHR that you may find interesting:
http://dothejanefonda.wordpress.com/2007/03/22/hip-to-waist-ratio-vs-bmi-whos-hotter/
http://www.bmi-calculator.net/waist-to-hip-ratio-calculator/
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/13/earlyshow/health/main3493928.shtml?source=RSSattr=Health_3493928
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
When a friend and a boyfrined dont mix
Posted: 1/23/2008 9:28:10 PM

If I'm on the phone with the BFF the BF gets jealous and trys to divert my attention but the BFF does it too.

I agree with the other post that you are the problem. When you are with one, why are you on the phone with the other? You are rubbing their noses in it so stop it.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What's your take on this one?
Posted: 1/23/2008 5:29:12 PM
At least you knew him for a while. I had and experience that is more MORE SHOCKING.
Someone I don't know and never even met knocked on my door and attempted to sell something to me.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 251 (view)
 
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 1/23/2008 3:45:22 PM
To me curvy means you have some similance of an hour glass figure.

That is true. With a waist to hip ratio (WHR) of 0.7 Even Kate Moss is curvy.

Besides, many have said Marylin Monroe was curvy, she was like a size 12!

That is true however, it is misleading. If you don't believe it, take a look at a dress/clothing pattern from the 1950's. As a rule, they list the dress size with bust and waist size. A size size 12 dress will list the bust as 31-32" and the waist as 24". Now if you look at a current clothing chart or pattern you'll see that the same "Bust/Waist" measurements will say size 4/6. If you need even more proof, get your paws on an original Sears Catalog from the 1950's ( you can find them at large book stores) and feast your eyes on their clothing size charts. Are you getting the picture of how misleading it is to say Marylin Monroe was a size 12?

Copy and paste the following link in your browser address to view a risque photo of Marylin Monroe in her early twenties:
http://www.hollywoodyesterday.com/marilyn-monroe-feet.jpg
I am sure a modern day size 4 or 6 dress would be approprate for her.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 194 (view)
 
My profile says a few extra pounds but men still expect to meet someone who's skinny.
Posted: 1/22/2008 8:52:13 PM
The average American woman wears a size 12, I believe.

Most American women and, in fact, most Americans are overweight. However, the average American woman is not that large.

On one of the sports web sites someone pointed out that about 25 years ago in the Sugar Bowl that no starting lineman for the Georgia team was heaver than 245 pounds. Now the linebackers are that size and average lineman is about 300 pounds. Obviously, in 25 years our genetics have not changed so what is the reason?

One person said, that in addition to all the fast food, a doctor told him it was the growth hormones fed to the animals that are in the meat and milk we eat and drink.

Whatever the reason, something is causing it. When you look at the movies for the 1940s and 1950s, most of the people were not near as fat as the average American today.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
At what point do you give up looking?
Posted: 1/22/2008 8:06:55 PM
Frog, you are too nice. You are boring and predictable; you are not any fun. Women are attracted to guys on the wild side that put themselves first. A woman will go nuts over a guy that tells her the lies she need to hear and cons her into believing he cares so he can get into her pants a few times before dumping her for the next gal.

Find girls you don't care about. Treat her kind of nice and tell her lies she wants to hear but doesn't really believe so you can get into her pants. Then dump her. You will be doing her a favor because afterwards she will have an excuse to call you names and say she wants a good. Nevertheless, she will quickly fall IN LOVE for the next guy that cons her so he can get into her pants.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Your date and her unruley kid
Posted: 1/22/2008 7:27:32 PM
What men should do in cases like that is just before leaving say, "Goodnight; I am not putting up with your unruly brat; I won't be coming back." And, make a quick exit before she has time to go off the deep end.

The mother will go balistic and call the man every name in the book to her friends and family. However, she will remember and if it happens a couple of times she will teach her kid to behave.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Guys who dont like boobs,,,,
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:58:46 PM
It is the waist to hip ratio that men are attracted to. As men we feel obligated to claim an interest in large breasts. However, the truth is that for many men, myself included, well formed perky breast are best; think Jessica Alba. Large breast are far more likely to start sagging as a woman ages.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 235 (view)
 
Curvy Vs Slim
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:41:59 PM
Anna, men are attracted to curvy; that is, an hour glass figure. Basically men are attracted to women with a waist to hip ratio (WHR) of 0.7. Measure the waist at the narrowest point after exhaling and measure the hips at the widest point. You are very close to that (my estimate is your WHR is 0.73) so you are curvy and that is the reason men are attracted to you.

The mode size of a Playboy model is 34-24-36, weight is 110, and height is 5'7?.
Waist-Hip Ratio of 0.7.

Beauty icons including Marilyn Monroe, Alessandra Ambrosio, Sophia Loren, Kate Moss, and even Venus de Milo all have ratios around 70%. Notice they have significantly different weights.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
would you stop seeing someone soley based on sexual experiences early in a relationship
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:23:21 PM
Assuming that your body functions correctly, that you are physically normal, and there is no bad oder, that is not the reason they are leaving.

My guess is you are a new gal. New is better and once they have sampled you from one to several times they are ready to move on to another new girl. They can do that because they are dating down and when men are dating down, lots of women are available because they think the are doing well. While women will only date up or equals, men will date down, but not marry down, for sex.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Aside from looks, what are you REALLY looking for?
Posted: 1/22/2008 5:02:59 PM
Youth, family, virginity, athletic, intelligent, class, bilateral symmetry, waist to hip ratio of 0.7. Is there anything else?
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
What make a girl above average!
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:57:21 PM
She is smart and has class.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
In Your Opinion ~ What Makes For Bad Sex?
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:55:40 PM
she is fat or ugly and smells bad.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Angry replies upon discovery of a sex site profile...
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:52:36 PM

I had noticed they had a profile on sexblahblah.com and I wasn't comfortable with that. I emphasize POLITELY, as I didn't bash these men, or lecture them or anything. Well, in every single case, the men became furious with me.

I think it's funny. You could add at the end of your polite message, "since you are not what I seeking, we need to terminate communication so I will go ahead and block you."
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 190 (view)
 
My profile says a few extra pounds but men still expect to meet someone who's skinny.
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:09:08 PM

.. it says on my profile that I have a few extra pounds. Now I'm not really big, a size15...


A size 15 is huge. A few extra pounds would be a size 6 or maybe an 8.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is he actually interested?
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:02:09 PM
I don't see the problem unless you expect him to jump at your every command. It sounds to me like he is responding by calling you every week. So what if he waits a few days after your messages before calling you.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why do guys mention other women?
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:56:07 PM
I don't recall that I ever have. I have arraigned to make certain that a girl I dated saw me at a club dancing and apparently on a date with a very pretty girl.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
First Date Gift
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:45:46 PM
Homemade chocolate chip cookies or something else that you baked would be nice.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Does a hysterectomy make a woman less attractive?
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:41:54 PM
Based on my on feeling that may not be logical I would say, "Yes" even if I was not looking to have children. Based on the majority of the posts, it appears my feeling are not the norm; therefore, it appears that for most men it does not matter.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Turning 21 and i have a two year not only i'm single !!!!
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:19:53 PM
You are very pretty. Two suggestions if you wish to attract guys that are smart and responsible. First, in your profile, eliminate the caps. That is considered shouting and gives the impression that you are not smart. Second, get rid of the tongue jewelry and any other piercings except for ears. Maybe it is not a turn off for some guys. However, it is your looks that guys are attracted to. All that type of jewelry does is to announce that you are an easy lay, whether true or not, and I don’t believe that is your intention or in your best interest.

You child is screaming because you reward screaming by giving him attention. For over two months, I dated a pretty girl with two young children; a little boy that screamed and a little girl that was a couple of years older. When the little boy started screaming, I would grab the little girl by the hand and say, “Let’s get away from that noise. Outside we would run a couple hundred feet; inside we would go in another room and close the door for a minute or two until the screaming stopped.

The little girl though that was great fun. The little boy hated it. It didn’t take long until, at least when I was around, he didn’t scream.

As for finding a guy, I will offer some suggestions but I doubt that you will take them. At your age, being a mom is a handicap in attracting guys that will marry you. However, it is not a big handicap. It only means you may need to settle for a guy that four or five years older than you would otherwise accept or accept a guy that is not quite as hott or good looking. With your looks there are plenty of good looking guys that will marry you, only you may have to settle for a low 8 or a high 7 instead of a mid to high 8.

To find the type of long-term relationship you claim you are seeking, you need to adjust your standards for a different type of guy. I believe you are attracted to guys on the wild side that are more interested in partying, getting drunk, and having a good time than being responsible. It would not have incurred to me to put in my profile “Must not do drugs.” That is not what the crowd I run around with does. Besides any gal that uses drugs would not be contacting me nor I her.

To attract guys that are dependable, responsible, and good providers, you need to clean your act and language and stop hanging around the crowd that use drugs. I am sure you know how to dress, talk, and act like a responsible lady of class. You only need do that. However, I believe that will not attract the kind of guys that appeal to you so I doubt that you will. Instead I expect that you will be offended and continue what you are doing.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Am I too unstrusting?
Posted: 1/22/2008 12:20:14 PM
Probably you are too untrusting, but it is hard not to be in our current modern day society where there are constant warnings and every event of that sort involving a child makes national headlines making it appear 10,000 times more likely that someone will harm your child than the risk actually is.

The danger that some stranger or someone you or your child are not involved with harming your child is extremely small. It is hundreds of times more likely that someone that harms a child has a long-term involvement with the child such as a relative, friend, teacher, or step father. Even then the risk is far less than it appears because of all the warnings and national headlines. To put it in perspective, children are 350 times more at risk from drowing, riding in a car, or being injured in some accident at home or play.

It is like my sister was afraid to go into the water at the Gulf because she read about a shark attack. I explained to her that she was 200 times more likely to be killed or injured when she drives a car. Logically she could understand that but it didn't matter, because she is familiar with driving and the though of a shark attack scares her.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
new to single parenthood and dating
Posted: 1/22/2008 11:45:24 AM
I have posted my profile, with little to no response

I'm not surprised. You have so many "must nots" that I wonder if there is anyone left that can contact you. Even though they are not what you are seeking, when I see so many "must nots", I am left with the impression, that you are extremely picky. You even have no "talk/email" which I think is silly because often all that means is the person wants it as an excuse if not interested in meeting someone that is not appealing.

I suggest removing most of the "must nots" and then in the unlikely event that one become a problem you can add it later or block anyone that sends you an unpleasant email. Also, if you are going to be on the forums it is nice to be able to receive a friendly comments about a post you wrote. Sometimes that results in an enjoyable off forum conversation.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Expectations from prospective partners
Posted: 1/22/2008 4:58:14 AM
Basically ive had a load of messages of people who seem to think i should be grateful for them contacting me because im a single parent. Like they're doing me a favour for showing an interest simply because of my circumstances.

Have any of you found this? That guys/girls seem to think you owe them something because they've shown you some interest?

I sorry you have been subjected to that. Those guys are rude and they are not the norm even if sometimes it may seem like it. You are young, pretty, and sexy so I can understand that guys would like to meet and date you, and more. Those guys are not only rude; they are stupid. Even the drunk off the street would know that you don't get into a girl's pants by insulting her.


Do you find you've lowered your standards - not necessarily personality wise etc but when it comes to how a future partner looks - because you feel that having children might put them off?

It is alright to adjust your standards a little. As a pretty young lady, having a child is a slight handicap to dating. Well, maybe not for dating but it does slightly reduce you desirability for marriage in the eyes of most young men. However, any adjustment in your standard should be small.

Most young men will choose a pretty girl with a child over a a single gal with average looks. So if you meet two equally great good looking and sexy guys--one 24 and the other 29, you may need to select the one that is 29 and let an equally pretty single gal take the 24 year old.

Obviously you have lots of guys wanting to date you so don't let the rude emails discourage you. Any girl as pretty as you, with or without a child, will find attractive young men that will want to marry her.
 smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 304 (view)
 
Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:38:36 AM
I suspect that the real reason women want men to give them a call is so they can get angry and call him names. When he doesn't call, they don't get that opportunity.

Most men would love be very considerate and give the lady a call. However, our experience is that she will punish us with snide or hateful remarks or otherwise make the phone call unpleasant and we don't wish to be punished so we believe it is better that we just disappear. I would be happy to call under the following conditions:

1. I want it to a brief and pleasant conversation. I want the lady to sound neutral or happy much like when you ask a sales lady a question. And, I don't want the conversation to linger more than 60 to 120 second max.
2. I don't want her to be upset. That is, I don't want her to sound very sad, depressed or angry. And, I certainly don't want any tears. That is very unpleasant.
3. I don't want her asking any questions that may be difficult to answer or that forces me to lie.
4. I don't want any snide, cutting, or hateful remarks.

So how am I going to tell her without the phone call being unpleasant? I don't believe it is possible but tell me if you think it is.

I will start. Ring ring, she answers, "Hello." Now you complete the conversation.
 
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