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 Author Thread: women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 68 (view)
 
women don't appreciate Approach Anxiety?
Posted: 12/9/2016 7:16:34 PM
Oh wow. I didn't realize this post was two years old until I got to the end. Oh well. It isn't the "Approach" part of the situation, it is the arrogance / rudeness that causes me anxiety. Agreed, they are under no obligation to me simply because I approach, But the quantity of rude females outnumbers "real people" by far.

Never could understand females that find, what they call, confident men a great catch. Somehow they think this guy will stop his ways with them. Like they are something special to him. If a guy is really good at being "confident" then chances are he will continue this behavior with future women.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 73 (view)
 
1 month again returns but does he want to date me?
Posted: 12/9/2016 6:53:29 PM
Rain? Rain is the reason you didn't date. Ba haaa haaaa.

Do this guy a favor and do not pursue him.

That has to rank up there with having a bad hair day.

P.S. The chasee / chaseor nonsense is just as bad as the rain / melting "issue".
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Closing Out 2016 With A Scarred Back
Posted: 12/9/2016 6:42:26 PM
How has 2016 treated me?

After being diagnosed, and in the process of being treated for Cancer. A pisser, and enlightening. Did not know that more people died of cancer than heart disease.

After reflecting on many different issues, I am surprised by my perspective. I have heard others saying, live life to the fullest, every day is an adventure. But, I don't feel that way. Now I wonder what those people's perspective was before. I don't feel that way at all. Some say they place a high value on each minute of life, but I wonder if they wasted so much time before.

I'm no rocket scientist, or multimillionaire, but for the most part I'm OK if things end soon. I've made mistakes and had successes. And in a strange way am generally accepting of how things have gone in my life.

I do tend to watch people who waste a lot of effort putting on a fake front and feel sorry for them. Because, It seems to me that if they were in my situation they would be really upset with themselves. I hope everyone can be "real" with themself and everyone they deal with. Not being honest with yourself is one of the worst ways to waste your life.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 123 (view)
 
Prejudice versus short men online dating.
Posted: 12/9/2016 6:09:05 PM
You are the perfect example of the majority of women online. Requiring more than they offer. Short is different than overweight. You can change overweight, not height. Women claiming men are "visual" and "superficial" when they do exactly the same thing.

When I first learned of online dating, I was excited. Somehow believing that information provided by females would cut down on the "learning curve" and I could find someone with similar likes (and maybe dislikes). Unfortunately, nothing could be further than the truth. Online dating is worse than the smarmiest meat market dive.

It's like a perpetual car crash on the side of the road, with blood stains and body parts strewn about. You want to look away, but you can't.

Sure glad I only need one woman.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Help appreciated
Posted: 11/20/2016 1:15:20 PM
You know what to do. You are doing the right things. But a little tip; any kind of Chemo is a steely wench. It messes with your appetite, your mood and just about every other bodily function. That will be the real test. It is still best to mainly just be in support mode. Don't offer food, or meals out because that can be very unappealing. If they invite you over for a meal that's great. Good luck!
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Dating killer turn offs
Posted: 11/20/2016 12:26:44 PM

it is also extremely creepy to message someone just because they commented on one of your posts.But don't feel too special, you are probably the 10th person I have blocked today...but the night is still young.


It is equally creepy to publicly post this message only in an attempt to get attention and not communicate with the person you blocked. You could have sent him a private message and then blocked him without the public comment.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
How do I get from the dating part of the site to the forums and vice versa
Posted: 11/20/2016 12:07:16 PM
The previous owners kept a vigilant watch over the forums and did a really good job of policing the goofballs. But eventually they tired of the process and said they were going to take down the forums permanently. Enough people complained that they returned after a couple of weeks, but left the policing to others. It's a big job to keep everyone in line. The previous owners kind of washed their hands of the forums. That's why there is a couple of posts from the kid complaining about the "ugly" girls at the top of his pages. It will take awhile, but he will be banned soon.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
basic consideration?
Posted: 3/23/2016 5:55:48 PM
"Maybe I suggested" is not a firm commitment for a date. If both of you agreed to meet at a restaurant for dinner and he didn't call back, then there is a problem. I have known women who psychologically acted in a similar way (not saying you have issues). They would be unclear about virtually any situation, then after a period of time would get really bent out of shape because their expectations of the situation were not met.

If you feel you are being disrespected and you still want to give the situation a chance, make your communication clear. Always. That is the way to GIVE respect. If the guy is interested you will GET respect.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 517 (view)
 
who pays
Posted: 2/28/2016 10:50:14 PM

Norwegianguy, I hope you are right, because I certainly would like to "really" date him and try a relationship. I kiss my dates, not necessarily on first dates, but the repeat ones for sure. Since that hasn't happened with him, I will call him my friend until we cross that line. I have to admit, I'm pretty clueless what to make of him and how to figure out what's up, because I've never been in a situation like this. Men have always made it pretty clear to me when they are interested in me (or not), but this guy is clear as mud.



Karma:

I know these threads can be mean at times, the following comments are intended as honest and well intended.

You owe your male friend the gift of honesty. You must tell him how you feel. To just go with the flow is unfair.

If you had a female friend who always had her meals paid for by her "friends", wouldn't she be considered a leach? If you are merely friends with this man, and he always pays, aren't you being a leach as well? ( I am not trying to be mean, just to make a comparison).

What is your end game? You can't truly want him to pay for you forever as just a friend. And if you have feelings for him, you are putting of some great experiences if he reciprocates!
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 739 (view)
 
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 2/28/2016 10:20:09 PM
First of all, I do my best to treat other people the same way that I would like to be treated. Dating or courting, sex or no sex. The best thing I can do for a woman is act the same way on the first date and the same way 50 years later. No smoke and mirrors to seal the deal.

Who asks is who pays is a laughable perspective. It is selfish and off-putting. If the host of a party invites you to his gathering, it is courteous and good manners to bring a gift or food item to the soiree. I view dating in some sense as a pot luck. We each have qualities (food dishes) that we bring to the occasion. We can sample any or none of these items and stay or move on. If you show up to a party with nothing in your hands, I doubt you will receive another invitation.

In the dating world, if your best characteristics are your appearance and the chance of a sexual encounter then I pity you. If a human wants to find sex they can. It is not only true for females. Somehow, most females do not understand that. These females don't understand that the slugs (men) who constantly give them crass. superficial attention are coming straight from the bottom of the barrel.

It has been my experience that women (or even men ) who provide a large quantity of hoops to jump through or blatantly wield their perceived feminine (or male) superiority as a relationship weapon, eventually tire of the man (or woman) who succumbs to their whims. They then move on to their next victim, none the wiser that they are hurting themselves as much as their partners.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Boob Pics
Posted: 2/13/2016 7:55:59 PM
Titillating pics attract boys. Do you want a relationship with a boy or a man? When you post those pics, you are implying that the "girls" are your best asset. You have little to no self-worth or personality.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 58 (view)
 
When did men stop bathing?
Posted: 2/2/2016 9:44:34 PM
Don't move to France.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 210 (view)
 
Thoughts on attractive men
Posted: 1/19/2016 12:30:06 AM
Clearly an intelligent, hot man wouldn't have to be online. The women have already formed a line to meet him in real life.


P.S. "No woman would want an ugly dude"? You are obviously clueless to the process. And more likely than not, would shun or berate any constructive advice given here.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
what not to say on a first date (for fun)
Posted: 1/18/2016 11:18:29 PM
First date with a woman. Found out she had eight siblings. After awhile I started to do some math out loud. Found out each sibling was married with an average of two kids.

I said: Wow, with about 30 birthdays and major holidays, you must be very close with your family.

She said: I hardly see them at all.


That was it. So long, sayonara, arrivederci, Auf weidersehen, don't let the door it you on the way out.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Tell me something good ...
Posted: 9/18/2015 1:36:31 PM
That phrase made me think of:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9uZOCEl7v0

Rufus w/ Chaka Khan
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
older women have more competition and fewer men to chose from???
Posted: 10/21/2014 9:56:19 PM
Blondeangel said

"I don't care if there are 100 women & 10 men, all you need is one good man-older or younger...just take care of yourself & have a positive attitude & a FULL LIFE THAT DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND FINDING A MAN."

The only sane thought posted by a woman on this thread.

This is amusing. A group of clucking hens crying about their situation. Blasting men for dating younger women ( While "cougars" date younger men with some sort of twisted societal approval). Women with your twisted logic and poor attitudes have learned little your decades of dating. Blaming your lack of success on others.

If you don't change your attitudes the only choice you'll have is to adapt to your loneliness.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Is she judgemental?
Posted: 10/21/2014 8:57:48 PM
His response had little to do with a "social rejection". Any person with half a brain knows that the acquisition of a degree isn't a shoe in for a job. How many college grads are unemployed right now? His response is an intelligent perspective gained from his experience in the business world. Hiring a person without real world experience is a dicey proposition at best.

You suggest the OP have humility and maturity? Those are qualities you should strive to acquire as well, in addition to reading comprehension. You would find that in the OP he indicated that the female told him she had a problem with non college graduates.

I guess Bill Gates, Paul Allen and millions of other non college graduates are failures as well.

"And sure....as many of us admire those who have succeeded in life,etc. But it still does not hold the key or guarantee to anyones heart...."

Your last sentence confirms this woman's faulty assumptions. A successful business, or lack of degree does not have any relevance in acquiring the key to a sane person's heart.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Does normal = boring?
Posted: 3/21/2014 10:45:20 PM
Don't worry about what it means. What's important is your response.


Next time a female says it you should reply - Well, you don't know me very well, do you.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Pretending to be single
Posted: 3/21/2014 10:25:17 PM
Old hag said

"You won't find too many females that are truly single because most can't stand being alone and they crave attention.


oh my gawd."


Then she said

"I am currently seeing someone, but we have not had the 'exclusive' talk yet which means that i'd still date other people (I'm not because there is no other person i'm interested in at the moment, but I would if I found someone i'd want to get to know better). Does that mean i'd be cheating on him? Nope. Not in my books. Until we've had the talk and decided to be in a committed relationship, in my opinion, it's ok to see other people. "
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 47 (view)
 
I overheard this
Posted: 1/8/2014 11:02:01 AM
Doria Said:

"But men are ruled by the visual and put a high price on physical beauty, much more than women do, who typically look for other qualities as being more important."

I have seen this one sided ignorant statement posted and verbally repeated hundreds of times. As far as myself and all of the males I know, this is sooo not true.

My experience is that women are the ones who are superficial.

Doria, If you don't believe me, find a picture of an average guy and create a profile on here. You will receive no inquires from females. And if you make first contact with an "average" female, you will experience the equivalent of this winters polar vortex.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Boyfriend never wants to go on vacation
Posted: 8/12/2013 7:59:01 PM
BoarderCollieMix said
"If you don't value that experience, that's fine. But to put suggest that those who do are somehow coming from a position of "less" is just ridiculous."

How can you not see that this is EXACTLY what the op is saying about her man. She thinks something is wrong with her man.

WOW!?!??
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 2/6/2013 9:20:15 PM
The really scary thing is that these women think that a Google search, a local or state search, will expose a "dangerous" person. It is a false security. To do an accurate backround check you need to hire a detective, and (as mentioned in previous posts) get a SSN, DOB and driver's license. Then maybe you will get accurate results.

These women think they are safe (maybe their gut tells them than something is hinkey), they do a cheesy search and then let their guard down. This is the perfect time for an abuser to attack.

With all of the scammers out there, there is no way I will risk my credit by offering my SSN and similiar identifying info. They could rip me off.

This is similar to the women who say, " I had sex with the guy and he was gone. He told me he loved me, but he is gone."

People move too fast to be safe anymore.

If you want to move fast, it appears that you will suffer the consequences.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 82 (view)
 
asked how many women I've met from here
Posted: 2/6/2013 7:47:29 PM
You better believe you are being judged.

No matter which number you answer with, you will be wrong. This isn't a "math" question. This is a "do these pants make my butt look fat" question.

The only answer is: One fewer than my dream woman (future wife).
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Evening news more interesting than POF
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:38:44 PM

Evening news more interesting than POF


Honey Boo Boo is more interesting in this thread. The topic has been beat to death.

Bad attitude begets bad attitude.

Smiles are superficial and do not have a direct correlation with positive attitude. ( ex. Kevin Bacon's character in the movie Animal House; "ALL IS WELLLL!!!! ALL IS WELLLL!!!")

People who are either positive or negative all the time have issues.
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 50 (view)
 
first meeting topics- things one may not want to mention.
Posted: 12/18/2012 9:05:33 PM
I show up a couple of minutes late and approach my date after she is seated at the table. I walk up and deliver a hilarious two minute monalogue. Excuse myself briefly. Return with an interesting guest. Ask this guest probing and interesting questions. Excuse myself briefly again. Return and play a catchy ditty on my guitar.

Then thank her for attending and ask if she will join me tomorrow at the same time after the late local news.

Women like to be entertained....right?
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Is she playing games?
Posted: 12/18/2012 7:45:52 PM
Switch the first two words in your question.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
If you want to know more, just email me qualifier
Posted: 12/14/2012 11:24:07 PM
Eye candy. Nothing more.

If you were fortunate enough to land a date. Bring some ear plugs. She is only offering her appearance. She has nothing more and she knows it.

Boring, Self centered, a waste of time.


P.S. Isn't this like a "just looking" profile?
 dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
just irritated, in general
Posted: 11/29/2012 9:39:24 PM
Hey OP,

You are not as think as you drunk you are.

Important tip:

You can only control how you act and how you proceed through life. You are not responsible (or can you expect) others to act in the way you think they should ( be it right or wrong). Once you wrap your head around this idea, things will run more smoothly. You will not get the results you want more times than not, but you won't hate the world like you do now.

P.S. I find it amusing when people talk about honesty. No one would like someone who is 100% honest about everything 100% of the time.( ex. "do I look fat in these pants?")
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
I always have to beg him to have sex, getting tired of that
Posted: 11/2/2012 11:15:55 PM

Goodbye, adios, ciao, arrivaderchi, au revoir... are you noticing the theme here?


You missed Poka, spokonia noch, sayonada, tse tsien...........


I would like to add auf weidersehen

He is a dummkopf
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 447 (view)
 
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 10/14/2012 8:04:28 PM
It has nothing to do with Male or Female. It has to do with who had the "power" in the relationship. The person who had the "power" in the relationship is most open to a friendship. And the person without the "power" may or may not grasp to the incorrect notion that if they hang around that the other will "change their mind".

Ouch.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 100 (view)
 
Sticky situation with a fake engagement ring ...
Posted: 10/14/2012 7:50:52 PM
"Dahling I luv you, but give me Park Avenue."

Tell her to look our for Arnold the pig. I hear he bites!
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Confused...
Posted: 10/14/2012 7:41:07 PM
Never EVER interpret someones intentions based on what they say. How someone acts tells their true intentions.

It is as simple as that.
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Do I have too many relationship requirements?
Posted: 10/14/2012 7:28:51 PM
Oof!!

I'll pass on a woman with the humor of Jay Leno.

If she had his car collection, I'd gladly change her oil.

(You know what I mean)
 intell_i_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 69 (view)
 
She dumped him because he preheats the oven
Posted: 9/12/2012 10:45:14 PM
So the frozen pizza guy is cheap?

There was a thread a while back that suggested dumpster diving as a first date. Several of the women thought this was a wonderful and unique idea.

It takes all types.

Just not for me fortunately
 carminethebowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
I read this somwhere and thought I'd share
Posted: 8/12/2012 11:21:29 PM

So do you think its fair that an unattractive person is not chosen for dating just by looks alone?? I feel that is so unfair. I would like to think that anything that has that rule of conditional love.. then i want to exclude it and think its not right or real.. even though we can't help it because of conditioning. i think we need to unlearn this.


Hard to believe you really think this is true with a screen name that includes the word "gorgeous".
 carminethebowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Are they still in Jr. High? Emotionally stuck at 45+
Posted: 8/10/2012 10:35:23 PM
Maturity has little to do with the time we have been on this earth. A 100 year old person can be less mature than a 15 year old kid.

P.S. You do realize that Doug Heffernen, Ray Barone Tim Taylor and and a host of other characters were created for comedic effect. They aren't real. Just like Kim Kardashian isn't real. Right?
 carminethebowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Need Help help talking to women
Posted: 8/10/2012 10:17:38 PM
So the women responding to the Op consider themselves authorities on how men can talk to women?

Talking to a woman has little to do with balls, putting on your big boy pants, or any of a number of derisive insults these women have hurled on POF over the years.

Its mostly about expectations. If you see a woman in public and you create the whole fantasy about your life together, or how you are gonna "get with her"...... game over.

Approach a woman with no other expectations than having a brief conversation or giving her a small compliment. Nothing more, nothing less. That is how you get started.

Expectations.
 carminethebowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Does anyone else kinda laugh taking relationship advice from singles?
Posted: 8/10/2012 9:55:25 PM

Does anyone else kinda laugh taking relationship advice from singles?


Kinda?

This is more of a laugh factory than a place where valuable knowledge can be exchanged.

After you've been here awhile, you don't even need to read the words of a post. Just who the poster is.

The only thing valuable you may get here is dating advice. Because quantity of dates is more important than the quality of the people you date, Right?
 carminethebowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
how to handle arguments
Posted: 8/10/2012 9:37:34 PM
This is amusing.

All the talk about vegetables and passive agressiveness. That this guy was in the wrong.

They both were.

This dust up was not about cooking. It was about posturing and power.

He tweaked her sometime before, and instead of dealing with it then, she let it stew. Passive agressive.

He mumbled I'm done (or something to that effect). Passive agressive.

Since neither wants to deal with the real problem, The correct response to " you're cutting those vegetables wrong" is " No honey, I'm cutting the vegetables correctly. You are making the rest of the meal wrong. "

Then you can defer all of your emotion to this silly situation and ignore the real issue.

P.S. If she was really that particular (or knows squat about the culinary arts) she would have said. Hey Hon, would you dice, chop, mince, julienne (or any of an number of other processes used to prepare foods) those vegetables?
 CarmineTheBowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Can I buy you a drink?
Posted: 8/8/2012 6:24:27 PM
No she did nothing wrong. A woman recently offered to buy me a set of radial tires. After we loaded the tires in my truck , I smiled at her and gave her a friendly wave while driving away.
 carminethebowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Is everyone this closed minded??
Posted: 8/5/2012 11:07:02 PM
A chip on his shoulder? ... or maybe the women are too intimidated to communicate with this man. From what I've read on the forums, OP has more going on that most of the guys here. A life, a job, a dog.

You are probably better off without those who don't reply.
 CarmineTheBowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Plz Help me again. Money things in a relationship~~~
Posted: 7/31/2012 11:02:42 PM
Once again proves my point that:

Bill Gates &
Warren Buffet

Are best suited to demonstrate true love.

While the kid dipping fries at the local Mickey D's will never experience true love.


USA USA USA
 CarmineTheBowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 61 (view)
 
How to let em know I have no friends
Posted: 7/17/2012 10:21:56 PM
I throw up a red flag if a woman has too many friends.
 CarmineTheBowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Taker or Giver?
Posted: 7/8/2012 10:11:22 PM
I find that the headlines that say "accepting applications" speak volumes. How high can I jump my dear?
 carminethebowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
E wants to be friends...
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:51:20 PM
Talk is cheap.

Actions speak louder than words.

What do her actions say?
 CarmineTheBowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
You're young, you have time. Not good advice anymore.
Posted: 6/12/2012 6:08:28 PM

You're young, you have time


Isn't this phrase precluded by an extended period of whining about how nobody loves me, I'm a loser, there is no hope for me?

The person who makes the statement is tired of listening to your drivel and wants to extricate themself from further torture.

P.S. If a person "settles" for multiple FWB situations they are hiding from the possiblity of finding a fulfilling relationship. Duh
 CarmineTheBowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How people get to a first meet. Deal breaker?
Posted: 6/10/2012 10:58:24 PM
Its a "red flag" if the man does not arrive by helicopter, and the woman does not arrive by submarine.
 CarmineTheBowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Can you figure this one out?
Posted: 6/10/2012 10:34:47 PM
Fleuron said:

If I gave the go-ahead to a man to kiss me and he refused….that’s the end of him.


So you invite your mafia "friends" over to rub him out?

Black Widow to the max!
 CarmineTheBowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Back-Up Plan for a bad date?
Posted: 6/10/2012 10:13:02 PM
Well princess,

You can't spend a little time with someone who went out on a limb and asked you out? This speaks volumes about who you are as a person and how you handle even the most slightly inconvienent situations. Many guys in your area thank you for this information!

Imagine if you were a guy and you were required to pay for a drink and/or a meal AND wanted to skate ASAP.
 carminethebowler
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
view history button
Posted: 6/5/2012 9:52:51 PM
Lint Spotter said;


it's at least a little more real than blowing sunshine up people's asses


Actually, Sunshine blew a friend of mine once, and he said it was quite enjoyable.
 
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