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 Author Thread: NASHUA Singles Dance - Saturday - March 2, 2013
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
NASHUA Singles Dance - Saturday - March 2, 2013
Posted: 1/25/2013 11:31:58 AM
I'm just curious to know if anyone who has attended this (or these) event(s) has enjoyed his/her evening?' ...
Has there been a lot of people there?
How would you describe the music played? ... (ols? - new? - rock? - disco? etc)
What age range are the attendees?
Amy input feedback would be appreciated! ... Thanks! :)
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The 'Family' Ties That Bind...
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:06:56 AM
My Grandfather was a practicing vaudville magician. AROUND THE WORLD - he shared the stage on many occasions with Houdini, Blackstone, Thurston etc.

He performed in all the major theatres around the USA - and all the major 'houses' in Europe. ... including having an audiance with the 'Queen Of England'

Orphaned at the age of 8 in Hoboken New Jersey - he drifted, ... he cauight a traveling 'act' and became interested in magic. He became a 'regular' on the 'circuit' and it was there that he met Harry Houdini - who, in turn introduced him to some 'agents' of the United States goverment.

He was young and single at the time and didn't have family concerns.
Soon - he was being 'booked' all across Europe.

Un-beknownest to the general public - as the opening act - and - while he was 'sharing the stage' with the 'Big 3 ' in England, France, Germany - he was also a US goverment spy.
(Similiar in nature to the old 'I Spy' program with Bill Cosby and Robert Culp - they traveled the world as tennis players - supposedly)

Growing up - I heard used to marvel at stories of Grampas "Lost Years" ... (as he called them) and I always was fascinated about the 'spy parts' with Houdini.
BUT - I couldn't validate it.
(He had old 'play bills' from various theatres etc ... but nothing 'in writing' about working with the Secret Service (the fore-runner agency to the CIA)

WELL - I'll be damned! ... On Halloween (the night Houdini is most often remembered) of 2006 the Houdini family FINALLY recognised and acknowledged his secret goverment work. Harry Houdini was - in fact - (also) - a spy!

VALIDATION AT LAST !! ...
I could go on-and-on ... it's pretty cool story.

He left the Secret Service - met my grandmother - wrote a book (The Shadow) and opened up a detective agency in the 20's . (in upstate New York)
As kids - we all used to sit - listen - and be mesmerized, hearing all about his 'cases'
I have one of his old original business cards.
It reads -
NO CASE TO BIG OR SMALL - INTERNATIONAL CONTACTS.

4 kids - (including my father) The Great Depession - and World War 2 brought a change to his life. ... The goverment called upon his services again. (but THAT's another story)

By the late 40's ... he had returned home - to take-up magic again.

He became LEGENDARY within the world of magic over the next 40 / 50 years. Appeared on several TV shows ... Mike Douglas / Merv Griffin etc.

He became *BEST* known for creating and HAND-building (1 by 1) the *ACTUAL* illusions that big name performers used - and the television audiences would *SEE* - in their acts. (Broadway - 'early' Vegas - The Ed Sullivan Show - The Tonight Show etc)

TODAY - if you are a collector of magic - and you have an ORIGINAL piece built by "The Colonel" ... it's of major MAJOR value. As his oldest grandson - I'm lucky-enough to have the last piece he ever built ... A SWORD CABINET ...
Remember this?
---> Girl comes onstage and gets in cabinet.
---> 8 swords slice thru the cabinet
---> Open up cabinet -8 swords there - (you see them) - girl is gone!
---> Close cabinet - take out swords
---> Dismantle cabinet - she re-appears! ... there she is!

OH !! ... Colonel you ask ??? ... YES - he was honored by the state of Kentucky in 1961 as a genuine 'Kentucky Colonel' ... cool 'eh?

He shared his love of theatre and magic with his kids - and THEY - with their kids - and US - with our kids ... 4 generations ... cool 'eh ?

He passed in 1981.
DAMN ! ... I miss him.
... what a life he lived !

and how I loved him so !
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Add One And Keep Going - This Ought To Be Fun
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:49:05 AM
He's cool, and he's king - but, above 'everything', - he's most "TIP TOP" ---> *TOP CAT !*
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Does the past define your Future?
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:03:19 AM
What a GREAT thought provoking thread. ...

At first, I was inclined to think NO WAY ! ... I define my own future.
...
... and then I thought - well, WAIT A MINUTE! ...
events in my past HAVE effected me to 'this day'...

I'll continue to *DEFINE* my future.
And though - the past has had an 'effect' - it hasn't DEFINED who I am today.
...
...
... not even close!

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 469 (view)
 
Question for the guys...Should us women say NO SEX on the 1st date BEFORE the date?
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:35:57 PM
I suppose - if *SEX* has been the main focus of your conversations before you 'even meet', ... then I suppose you may wanna go-ahead-and-mention it !

Supposing (of course) that you were "only listening" and NOT participating in the original conversation. (In which case - why didn't you DROP HIM like a H~O~T potato?)
Otherwise (of course) one would have to ask ... Why were you participating in that type of dialogue in the 1st place?

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 139 (view)
 
are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:02:38 PM
SOME girls ?? ... (lol) ... You're to be complimented on being 'more than kind' in your assessment! ...

SOME?? ... how about *YOU?* ... how about *ME?* ... how about *ALL OF US?* ...

By any chance - Have you happened to notice the phrase 'Won't Settle' in any bio?
... or a laundry list of requirements that stretches 1/2 the page?

G-e-e-e-e-z ! ... I got a good laugh outta THAT question !!
Some? ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Men’s Top Ten Favorite/Least Favorite Conversation Topics
Posted: 5/2/2008 11:38:43 PM
In addition to BEERSHARKS original post - (which probably has be referenced by 'all' at some point or another in their life) ..... I might be able to lend a thought or two to this thread ....

...
...
... na' - wait a minute !
...
...
...
...
...
... I think you pretty much got it covered bud !!

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 204 (view)
 
What's your favourite funny movie quote?
Posted: 5/2/2008 2:49:28 PM
FORREST GUMP ...
He's talking about 'Jenny' ...
(the love of his life)

In his voice you can JUST *TELL* - HOW MUCH he absolutely LOVES HER - and she is the light of his life.

He's talking about some of her "activities" during one of their many 'times apart'

He very VERY casually mentions that she tried to kill herself.

... a couple of seconds pass ...

Forrest takes a DEEP BREATH - and with *GREAT EXASPERATION*
...
...
... says
...
...
...
...
... A-GAIN !!
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Is smoking a deal breaker?
Posted: 5/2/2008 2:29:57 PM
HELLO? ... it's gotten so bad that any POF individual can RESTRICT / BAN a smoker from even so much as dropping them a friendly note!

In a word ... 'apparently'
 * magic man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Guys: at what age did you give up on the grey
Posted: 3/28/2008 4:14:27 PM
... when the 1st one showed ... I gave up on day 1 ... If I recall correctly, it's almost been a year now ...
 * magic man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Boy have things changed in the dating world!
Posted: 3/28/2008 3:50:00 PM
After reading this thread - I shake my head and think to myself ... it sure has ! ... hasn't it?

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Average or a Few Extra Pounds?
Posted: 10/30/2007 6:07:43 AM
A few extra pounds *USED* to mean a *FEW* extra pounds.

*NOW* a few extra pounds can mean 20 30 40 50 extra - EXTRA - E-X-T-R-A pounds ! ... G-e-e-e-z ! ...
I have been decieved over-and-over-and OVER again! ... To read the phrase * A FEW EXTRA POUNDS* now, makes me VERY skittish. - ESPECIALLY if there is no picture on her profile.

AVERAGE. I always thought average was weight proportionate to height. (fair enough)
NOT ANY MORE FOLKS ! ...

Average used to mean - you're able to ties your shoes without having to SIT DOWN - and lift your feet up to do so. ... NOT ANY MORE FOLKS !

I like POF ... It's a 'good site'.

If I have a single suggestion - it's simply to eliminate the choices for BODY TYPE - and replace it with a "drop down box" to click on your weight. ... or a blank space to type in your own.

Problem solved ! ...

TRUTH BE TOLD ... If someone cares NOT to share his-or-her weight - One can COUNT ON that person being heavy.

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Why do people put so little on their profiles?
Posted: 10/7/2007 6:09:56 AM
I've never been accused on *NOT HAVING ENOUGH* ...
(or TOO LITTLE) ...
...
...
... on my profile.
..
...
I figure - if a lady can't open her heart up a bit - and - share enough about herself to capture my attention for *AT LEAST* 6 or 8 minutes (as I read thru her profile) - then - (more-than-likely) she doesn't have enough creativity to capture my attention beyond THAT !
...
...
... Take an interest in what you're writing. (others will be reading it - in case you forgot) You're here to introduce yourself (presumably) ... Make the gentlemen aware of 'as-much-as-you-can' - about who you ARE ... The "UPSIDE" of being extensive in your essays is that, you'll attract like-minded gents - and eliminate those who's attention span STOPS at the pictures!
... So GO AHEAD ! ... be detailed.
...
...
... That said, on the other-hand ! ...
It's also difficult to read thru a SINGLE PARAGRAPH that has 127 seperate sentences and/or thoughts within it.
...
... Use your (at least) 4th or 5th grade punctuation skills. It WILL help.
...
... Don't be cynical. Make it an intersting read-thru. ORIGINALITY score BIG POINTS !
...
...
...
MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 265 (view)
 
Long hair on older women?
Posted: 10/5/2007 6:33:27 AM
Absolutely ! ... Yes ! ... and if my ladys' hair is 1/2 way down her back - "all the better" ...
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 32 (view)
 
9/11 and how you experienced it (personal stories)
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:48:35 AM
8:50(ish) AM ... I recieved 1st call making me aware of a plane having hit the 1st tower. By 9:15 I had recieved 8 or 10 more - and - had made 8 or 10 myself to various family members. Half of my ENTIRE extended family lives in the area and/or works in Manhatten.

My brother was on his way to a meeting at one of the WTC towers - but luckily was running late. He lost friends and business associates.

My cousins / aunts and uncles all work downtown. EVERY single one of them lost someone they knew *personally* ... many 'several' ...

The weeks passed ...
Heart-wrenching GUT-TWISTING 'memorial services' ...
Nothing to bury in most cases.

Tragic !

My friend - Lt "Bobby R" - Ladder Company 18 ... was working.
He responded.
I mourn his loss.
'1' of the '343'
He was a "good guy".

Living close to Boston - and - '2' of the flights originating out of 'Logan' - there were dozens-and-dozens of local tragedies as well.
Incredibly sad !
... and VERY close to home.

I *HONOR* the heroes of 'Flight 93' ... (the 1st to FIGHT BACK!)
...
... and I believe those of you who profess there was NO PLANE that hit the Pentagon that morning - well ... (never mind - what's the point in talking to you?) ...

It pains me to write this ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 320 (view)
 
Are women scared off by harleys
Posted: 8/23/2007 4:00:18 PM
No ... I've been riding an HD for 20+ years. It's never been an issue. Not even once.
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/4/2007 9:32:40 AM
Hello KoG ... Thanks for the note back.
Cheers MM...

The I's..... just very confident but I appreciate it may come accross as conceited but I dont really care...not been a problem yet.
-----> My apoligy if you believe that conceit was implied. It certainly wasn't.
-----> The remarks and observations made about the overuse of the word *I* are shared in an attempt to enlighten others that by eliminating the word *I* - anyone can talk about themselves - without focusing attention on THEM in a negative 'conceited' (if you will) manner.
-----> You can damn near talk-about-yourself ALL DAY LONG - and as long as you don't use the word *I* ... people will typically continue to listen - or in this case, - READ.
-----> It's one of those "LANGUAGE presentation LAWS" that when practiced a bit, will produce amazing results!
Give it a whirl ...
See for yourself ...

Thanks for the feedback,
-----> You're Welcome - and 'Thanks' for yours ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/4/2007 9:11:37 AM
Hello Liam ... 'Thanks for the note ... here is what you wrote.
------------------------------------------
Pop this one in and "destroy my Airfortress" perhapse
------------------------------------------

Ok ... my 1st impression was the RED VINYL !
My 2nd was to wonder whether or not that's a Beatles RED LP on Capitol? ... but I'm getting off-topic. Avid LP collector here ...
ANYWAYS ...
Liam ... Consider chopping your paragraphs up into smaller sentences.
They're a little long.
... Also - may I suggest that you work on your punctuation a little bit. There are ladies out here that will TAKE YOU AT YOUR WORD about being a scholar. Pay a little bit more attention to those sorts of things.

You're older-and-wiser now (as stated) You can do both! (lol)

Let's take a look at your paragraphs ... OK?

Paragraph #1
I was, am, and will always be a Gentleman and a scholar. In the past this meant me putting academics first before women but now as I grow older and wiser I realize that Intelligence is not everything nor is learning and thus I like every other man need to embrace my heart regardless how foreign its illogical workings may be for someone in the computer science field who is used to working with very logical constraints.
-----> WHEW!! ... make it a few sentences. Focus on punctuation. Also - it seems to have a lot of BIG $100.00 words in there. Is this the 1st impression you want to leave with the ladies? ... that they have to digest BIG WORDS right-off-the-bat? ... I'd suggest sharing your 'older-and-wiser new-found-thoughts' in - everyday, normal $0.50 cent words.

Paragraph #2
I would love to find someone on the same page as me in life for dating but regardless of what happens I am ALWAYS open to more friends as friends are something a person can never have too many of. My three passions in life are Computer Programming (my future career), Music and playing a musical Instrument (Piano), and Cooking In no particular order. Who knows maybe we can share one of those passions or maybe just share something else?
-----> Make the sentences shorter - again - punctuation. Share a little bit more on those '3' interests. ELABORATE ! ... create some interest. (as an example - what's the Liam 'special' off the stove?)

paragraph #3
Smart Funny Women who can laugh at my off beat sense of humour and find the humour in random little things that most people might not even laugh at are the best kind of women in my honest opinion. I also wouldn’t mind finding a woman who would give me a reason to use more of the gadgets and gizmos in my kitchen as I always love preparing fine meals even just for my friends. I’m pretty open to giving anyone a chance and if it isn’t working between us as dating then I suppose friendship is the order of the day but I find if you don’t give someone a chance then you never know what might have been.
-----> SMART FUNNY WOMEN ?? (kinda risky statement there my friend) ... (although it is sort of "matter-of-fact" which is kinda cool in-it's-own-way)
Chop the sentences ... punctuation.
-----> WOULD'NT MIND FINDING ??? ... h''m'm'm ... can you do any better than that phrase? ... how 'bout - I'd honestly and truly would like to find ...

First Date
A first date is going to be something in an environment where I can find out more about you and chat with you and could be anything from Coffee in a nice Coffee shop, to some kind of fun activity like Mini golf, the beach in summer, or a Hike. As long as it doesn't involve me getting on a Bicycle or skates I'm fine with it mainly because I'd make a complete fool of myself if it involved either of those things (I am really bad at both)
-----> Liam ... you haven't included considering HER thoughts or wishes in that 1st date scenario.
It seems to be 'all-about-you' ... Maybe you ought to think about re-wording it so that it reads as if you'd like for BOTH OF YOU to have a good time.

Just a thought or two shared along-the-way ...
Good Luck out here Liam ...
Hang on to that red vinyl ... It's a collectors piece.

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/4/2007 8:24:18 AM
Hello Misty ... Thanks for the note ... Here's what you wrote.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would love to get a little or a lot of feed back on my profile. Any help you may give would be greatly apperciated.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Misty-Eyes ...
BEAUTIFUL profile - well thought out!
Outstanding conveyance of what you want the reader to know about you.
I'm a 'stickler' on presentation though ...
You used the word *I* 31 times ...
Let's take a look - OK?
---------------------------
Paragraph '1'
I am a single mom of three so I have little free time. Though they are getting older now so I am finding more and more time to get out. I was talked into joining this site by my father so here I am giving it a try..
-----> Wha' da' ya' think of this?
-----> I Love my father! - He's a great guy. The kids are a little older now, there's a little free time available - so he's been on a lovingly CONVINCE MISTY rampage (lol) to see his daughter 'get-out' more! ... Thanks Dad ! ... Hello world !
-----> See what I mean? - same exact thoughts - from '5' *I*'s to '1"

Paragraph '2'
I like to do many thing from cuddling on the couch to rough housing with the kids.. I like to camp, fish ( I can even bait my own hook) long walks. I love the beach though I do not get to go often, I am not afraid of hard work or getting a little or a lot muddy. My daughter tells me all the time I am a tom boy..
-----> let's do another - OK ?
-----> A "Day in the life of Misty"? ... well - OK ... as a 'tom-boy' at heart it has to include of few (but not always all) of the following ... GOTTA - (and enjoy) a little time rough-housing-with the-kids ... (my idea of execise) (lol) , which might tire-me-out a bit ... so, long walks are cool - stopping along the way to grab a 'few FRESH worms' (self sufficient bait-hooker here guys!) ... THIS lady will go go camping with ya' ... FISH with ya' ... (remember those worms?) and would 'love' to see-the-beach more often than it's been seen lately.
-----> See what I mean Misty? ... It's not-so-much that I'm suggesting WHAT to say (your call for sure!) ... It's a suggestion on how to present it! ...
-----> We went from '7' *I*'s ... to '0'

I'm not gonna re-write your whole bio - but do you see what I mean?
Try eliminating the *I*'s (as many as you can) on your remaining 3 or 4 paragraphs !

You have GREAT info here - and you come across as a wonderful lady to know.
Get creative !! ... Knock their socks off!
Nice pictures ! ... you're a cutie! ... the 'tree-pic' is the best ... Keep it #1 ....

and your next-to-last closing line (this one below) is worthy of everyone's attention !
SOMETIMES WHEN YOU OPEN A BOOK YOU FIND SOMETHING REALLY GREAT INSIDE.
...

Thank you for making me smile and for so many laughs...
-----> the 'above' is your last line - Who are you 'THANKING' ? (they just read your profile - didn't they? - maybe 'Thank' them for reading it I guess might be appropriate)

Good Luck Misty ...
Re-word what you've started - out here in the world of FISH - you're a CATCH !!


MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/4/2007 7:11:00 AM
me next!! me next!!! lol.
As much as I love lengthy profiles, applying them to my own seems like I'll lead into the realm of bragging as I was so abruptly told during a profile review roughly a month ago. Since then I made it short, concise and hopefully to the point. anyways, feel free for some constructive criticism!
----------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
Dr Chaos,
Thanks for the note.
The 1st thing I'd comment on DOCTOR is change the presentation of your name ...
drchaos619 would read better as Dr Chaos 619! - or - *Dr-Chaos* 619! (or something similiar - your choice)
Make it STAND OUT. Make it distinct.
... Don't worry about those short-minded individuals who tell you that a profile has to be quick-and-easy. I disagree. (however, I respect that everybody's entitled to their own opinion)
As you know - there are POETS - and there are NOVELISTS ... each, - has a an individual 'style', and each, had a fan base of their own.
...
... To MY way of thinking - if an individual can't (or won't) READ a well laid out - and - well thought out profile for a few minutes, it's an attention issue. ... and if you can't garner her attention for a few minutes in the begininng - and she just fly's-on-over to the next one - do you think you'll be able to keep her attention down-the-road?
...
... THAT SAID - YOUR CHALLENGE is to create a profile that LOOKS GOOD. By that, I mean - when the page is finished, ask yourself - very simply - Does *this* ---> LOOK GOOD? ... is it laid out well? - Is it appealing to a readers eye? ... Have you divided up your paragraphs correctly? ... Have you learned - and used - the underline [u] [/u] - bold - italics features and sprinkled them in? ... Maybe use an animated emtion here-and-there.
If you've chosen to create a longer profile - useing those TOOLS ... is almost mandatory- because if you DON'T ... you're left with a HUGE page of simple TEXT (which can get tough-to-read REAL QUICK) ...
...
... and to continue ...
IF - you choose to go with the LONG bio ... your words have to read (within in the mind of the reader) in a manner as if you were almost TALKING TO HER ... (hence - the phrase - write-as-you-speak) ...
Here's a word or two of advice ... for ANY letter you EVER write ...
After you've written your words out - LITERALLY - read it out loud to yourself.
(I know it sounds a little childish - but it works)
Read it again
and again ...
and again
and read it enough times OUT LOUD to yourself, so that you as you READ IT you are actually speaking it.
...
... OK ... now read your bio OUT LOUD that you've asked me to comment on ...
You've got '4' paragraphs - and in those '4' paragraphs you use the word *I* - 19 times!
Ask yourself - is this how I would be talking to this lady? ... wouild she enjoy hearing me say *I* 19 times in 3 minutes?
I don't think so ...

Early on - you said longer bios seem to come across as bragging.
Not so ... it's all in the presentation - the verbiage - and the effective use of the tools POF has given for us to use.

Easy enough ...

You're a sharp guy!
You have a TON of different things in your 'info-area' that might be appealing to the right lady.
You added humor - which is essential.
Pictures are OK ... use the 2nd one, where you're smiling ...

Tell all the readers - the story of DR CHAOS.
Use everything you have in there thus far - but work on the presentation.

Good Luck ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:38:40 AM
How you doing magic thank you for your kindness in the post that you made and when ever you get a chance please take a look and please be totally honest i do appreciate your honesty
----------------
----------------
Hello Carlos ... Thanks for the note.
Your entire profile text is summed up in 2 or 3 sentences.
I doesn't have to read like a novel - but should AT LEAST be more in depth than this.
-----------------------------------------
I am a Chicano been in California all my life I have a very goopd sense of humor enjoy laughing out going out and meeting new people having a good time and enjoying life as much as possible
-----------------------------------------
-----> Tell a story in your profile of WHO you are ... WHAT are your hopes and dreams (share a little with the lady readers) ... WHEN (share a little history of your life) ... WHERE (you've lived / worked etc) ... WHY you're on POF etc.

Beyond that - there's thousands of profiles on POF that you can peruse and copy-an-idea-or-two from.
Go exploring ... gather your thoughts and then - tell the ladies YOUR story.
By the way - nice pic of you on 'the line' ... at least we know what you do.

Good Luck Carlos ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:18:55 AM
Impact me, please! Resa
-----------------------------
Hi Resa, Thanks for the note.
I'm not-so-sure I can impact you Resa.
Every now-and-then you read a profile that you simply LIKE.
From a 'review it' standpoint - I LIKED your profile Resa.
From start-to-finish - in EACH of your paragraphs - you were (are) pretty clear with your thoughts concerning a wide variety of topics. (Nicely down)
IMPACT? ...
Maybe a gentle ---> share a bit about your consulting (without betraying any confidences of course)
---> 3 pictures - there's room for 8 - and THIS TIME - add a few with you smiling!
THAT's it! ... I thought you did a nice job.
Check with other reviewers ... maybe they'll find things wrong - I didn't

Kudu's !!

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:54:37 AM
Hello Star ... Thanks for the note. I'll share a though-or-two.

This is what you wrote me. -----> If you can help me with mine iw ould greatly appreciate it.I just pretty much stuck to the point.

And this is what you wote in your bio. -----> have long blonde hair,hazel eyes,stand 5ft 5 inches tall and weigh about 190.And I am sry if I am not skinny.and also I am sry I dont meet anyones critera.I am a nice person and if noone wants a nice person,than I guess I am in the wrong place.

STAR - not to be harsh, but I think you need - a fresh start - start over!

Approach the idea of posting a profile on POF optimistically! There's plenty of links and forum threads on how to structure one / and present yourself.

Make it fun to read ...
Write about yourself in a manner that people WANT to meet you ... it's pretty basic.

Drop me a note afterwards ... I'll be happy to comment at that point.

Give it a try - You can do it!
Best Wishes !

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:37:47 AM
Hi, MM. I'd love to see what improvements you could suggest for my profile!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Vee,
Let's take a peek here and see ...

-----> OH MY!! ... 4 lines into your bio you're already talking politics ... wouldn't you prefer to capture ones interest 1st? - and - leave the war and political dialogue until later on? STATE IT - but I'd suggest leaving it until other points and factors about YOU have been shared. (I shared my thoughts about 4 lines from the BOTTOM of mine)
-----> Also the things you shared BEFORE - and AFTER - the political statements ARE - in fact ... things about you. Tossing that in there where you did, disrupts the "getting-to-know-a-bit-about-VEE process. Otherwise - nice 1st paragraph. A little bit of this-and-that about you. // A little about me

-----> Very nice paragraph #2
What I’m looking for
-----> ALTHOUGH - I'd suggest creating a NEW paragraph at THIS point // Absolute requirements:
-----> Your absolute requirements are clear - and were (are) funny! (always a good thing)

-----> this is a nice group of sentences //There's not much in life that can't be made better

-----> but start a new paragraph HERE because you've switched your train-of-thought //I am big & beautiful,

-----> Congratulations! // I smoked for a long time but quit on 7/4/00 & never looked back.

-----> Ask yourself this Vee, do you think a gentleman perusing your bio is going to go to YouTube and check out the band? If so, I'd be a little surprised to be honest. // (check out their video "Ain't Nothing Wrong with That" on YouTube!).

I also enjoy KT Tunstall, Nickelback, Train among the newer artists. Love Chicago, Eagles, Stones and of course the Beatles in old school. I'm addicted to "Lost"

-----> You've got a lot of information here Vee. It's nice, but for what-ever-reason it seems to be lacking a little something. And I'm not sure WHAT. Maybe talk about your kids and/or family ... your job ... a few interests or hobbies ... maybe talk about LIFE ...
and when that is all said-and-done ...
and you've captured the readers attention - and interest
THEN - and - ONLY then ... talk politics!
Best of Luck ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/3/2007 6:58:10 AM
I too would like your advice on my profile. Any advice would be appreciated. :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello gr8ix ... Thanks for the note.
If you're looking to simply 'hang out' I think you've STARTED TO state your case well.
--------------------------------------------

-----> We already know you're 33, drop it. / Professional male, 33 years old.

-----> Great! - maybe share a little bit of what you enjoy doing when you have them. Share a story or two about fatherhood - (By the way - GREAT pics of you and them) / Single father of twins whom I have roughly 8 days a month.

-----> Aren't we all?, It may be true, but can it be said any better? ... also the I think the word JUST minimizes any phrase you add it to / Recently out of long term relationship and just looking for some fun.

-----> What's THIS mean? ... didn't you say you have your twins 8 days a month? ... if so, there's lots of time left to get out and meet people (22 or 23 days a month if I did my math correctly) Are you STARTING a family? (another one maybe?) Or starting a family LIFE? - It sounds a little confusing. / Mainly want to build a social network since moving to a new town and starting a family does not leave much time for a social life.

-----> Find some time? ... How 'bout words that convey a more positive assertive mind set? now I'm ready, willing and able, looking forward to etc ... / Now, I should be able to find some time to get out there and meet people.

-----> Share a funny story / I have a great sense of humor,

-----> Share a heart-warming story, give the reader an example / a good heart,

-----> if your charm is real it will 'jump out' at the reader ... WRITE as you SPEAK / charm,

-----> OK - you have a nice smile - throw up a few more pics, SHOW IT / a nice smile,

-----> Don't we all? Sit down and share a story or two or three and determine yourself to actually make the READER LAUGH! ... Validate your desire to make people laugh. / and a desire to make people laugh.

-----> I'm skittish about using the word *SO* ... it's too open-ennded. Be assertive (something like) Let's trade a few E-mails - have a few laughs - IM abit etc / So if you would like to know more then please drop me a line. :)

-----> THIS is an ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC saying/ line and I have HONESTLY used it many MANY times as a moderator / facilitator. It's 100% true!! - and - it's in your profile. I invite you to SAY IT LOUD a few times when you sit down and envision what you truly want your profile to say!

"Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't. Either way your right." - Henry Ford

Either way my friend ...

Have at it ...

Best of luck ..,

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:37:46 PM
Saw it in half, throw knives at it, make the boring stuff disappear, then vanquish the demons in my profile.
---------------------------
---------------------------
You're kidding - right?
... For a number of reasons - I'm a BIG FAN of the BIG LENGHTLY profile.
You wrote a 'good one' in my opinion.
Ladies who have the where-with-all to "stay-with-it" ... GOT IT!! ... (86 favorites is a testament to that fact) ...
It has creativity - humor and a decent guy written thru and thru.
There are no demons.
Maybe sprinkle in a few of those icon 'things' to share an animated emotion here and there ... doing so will also add a little color to a completely TEXT black-and-white page ... consider adding a few more pictures ... and place a comma after each of your interests (it'll read easier)
...
...
... and finally ...
...
...
... Padres - and - Chargers? ...
... oh g-e-e-e-e-z !!
...
... Ladies Coast-to-Coast
...
...
...
... Love the Red Sox - and - Pats !
Just bustin' ya' a bit ! ... Sox / Fenway Park season ticket holder here!
Cheers ! ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:02:38 PM
If you have any spare time, check out my profile. I'm not looking to change it, but to ask what you think. I get great messages, tons, actually. I only want a real reviwers thoughts.
-------------------------------------------------
Hello Heather Anne,
Be assured - I'm not a REAL reviewer ... just sharing a though-or-two along-the-way.
You don't want to change anything - but what do I THINK? ...
...
OK - well, I'm not a fan of swearing in the profiles, but - I'm an 'ole hoot - and your 18.
The language YOU use is the language HE'LL use ... and subsequently, it's quite possibly an early indication of how you can expect to be treated as time goes on. Think of the 'good' realtionships you know of. What language do they use when they speak to each other? (just a thought Heather Anne) ...
What do I think?
I think you're 18 - heading off to 'Boot' soon ... and your world is about to change.
THANK YOU for your willingness to serve.
Be safe ...
Be smart ...
LEARN ...
and come home.
Best Wishes ... Good Luck

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:36:40 PM
What can you do with my profile?
-----------------------------------------
Hey ID ... in '4' words?
NOT A WHOLE LOT

The concept (selling yourself) is OK (I guess) but I think it needs a LOT of work.
By a LOT - I mean STARTING with "A" ... and going all the way thru "Z"
in other words ... re-do it.
I'd also suggest you get the opinion of a few others - I think you'll find that others will say something similiar.
Decent idea ... make it an easy-to-read bio to read thru from 'A' to 'Z' ... (it isn't as it stands)
Have patience with yourself ...
Good Luck ... feel free to ask again (if you care to) when it's been overhauled.

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:13:58 PM
go on then give it to me
----------------------------
Hello 'King' ...
Your spirit and "character" are obvious in what you write.
I read your bio 2 or 3 times ...
Here's what stuck out.
... Between your essay and 1st date - you wrote 10 paragraphs, ranging in length from a single sentence to several sentences.
Here's how many times I read the word *I*
-----> *I* *I* *I* *I* *I*
-----> *I* *I* *I* *I* *I*
-----> *I* *I* *I* *I* *I*
-----> *I* *I* *I* *I* *I*
-----> *I* *I* *I* *I* *I*
-----> *I* *I*
---------------
---------------
27 times! ... in 10 paragraphs ...
I'd suggest using different words - creating different sentences - in place of using the word *I* as often as you do.

Beyond that - it's tough for me to comment in-as-much-as I may be remarking on a 'cultural' thing / an 'age' thing or a personal 'thing' - but I'm not so sure multiple references to wearing ladies clothes are what typical ladies are going to find alluring.
I could be wrong on that - the world has certainly changed.

If that's what you desire - kudus to you. You've made it clear you're willing.

All-in-all ... you come across as a good guy - maybe a little 'out-on-the-edge' to my way of thinking ... but that's all right!
Oh - and I'd add a few more pictures if you can - there's room for 8 ...

Ciao'

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:28:03 PM
Hey Ten! ... What's up? ... I''d yet to meet a BARSTOOL PHROPHET and am glad to 'have' before I pass on. (GREAT line!!) ...

1st paragraph - lookin' good - but you don't need this---> I'm nearly twenty-four years old, (already stated) or this--->I really had nothing at all to lose by signing up.
THAT's (nothing to lose) REALLY gonna get 'em running to ya' - 'eh?

2nd paragraph read well except for these 2 sentences ... they seem contradict one another --->After spending a good deal of time during my university tenure working in a nightclub environment, I have to admit it really isn't my preference for a night out. There's just nothing better than a cramped and noisy pub with some good live music. Well - which is it that you prefer for a night out? ...


3rd paragraph - GOOD! ...
the 4th one ... had 'something' in it that STRUCK me ...
----->I'm looking for something I can have a little faith in.
Ladies are reading this TEN ... do you think they'd prefer to read "I'm looking for something I can have a little faith in - or maybe something like ---> I'm looking to develope a relationship with a lady I can have faith in - she can have faith in me - and - together, we can have a little faith in each other. (just a thought)

Go ahead, hit the button. I'll do my best not to disappoint
-----> Hello??? ... not to dissapoint?
-----> do your best to - share in a fun , clean , easy 'get-to-know-each-other' conversation. (Make it

By the way - 1st date ending line was cool!

Overall ... good profile

You'll do well out here !

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 3:19:33 PM
'Thanks' for the note Riley. ... Not only do you ROCK!! ...
You ROAR in my book! ...
always have - and, always will.
...
...
... I still think you're the best reviewer out here. (bar none)
Ciao' ... 'Thanks again'

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:53:53 AM
Thanks for your time and suggestions...
-------------------------------------------------
You're Welcome Misty - Thanks for asking ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:48:35 AM
Thank you.
------> You're Welcome

I changed that word. Never would have thought. :) Silly me.
-----> no - stupid them!

I'm even getting mail from 20 yr olds asking if I like younger men. My kids are older than these guys. Must be bored with their age. Those at least are worth a chuckle if nothing else.
-----> well - it's certainly Ladies Choice, but for you to be clear, I'd add in a few 'boundarys' on 'what the subject matter may entail' should you be contacted.
I think it'd help prevent some un-needed grief.
Just my thoughts ...
Ciao'

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:34:29 AM
Hi Misty!
I actually liked the way you wrote up your profile!
Nicely done ... like a 'fine painting' I'd suggest just a few-touch-ups.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My name is Misty. I'm a 23 year old female, my lifelong dream is to one day move to Alaska and organize an Eskimo cult... to be soon followed by world domination....until then ....
-----> We already know how old you are ... maybe include something like "though I'm curently in Texas ...

The 2nd paragraph reads nice - though a little long - break it up ...

As far as me personally...(at least you'll never have to guess how I feel) and
--------------------------------
break up the paragraph THERE - and it'll read easier.
Start the new one here - it's a new thought
--------------------------------------------------
I get lost easily, my sence of direction is all but non-existant (you may be called to "rescue" me from an unknown location or at least point me in the right direction).
--------------------------------------------------
and here - another new thought - new paragraph (good detail about YOU)
----------------------------------------------------
I can also be a bit too guarded when meeting someone new, ........depending on my mood or the situation...
-------------------------------
The following paragraph is very well thought out and nicely stated.
I also would like to say that I am who I am, ...... looking though all the others until you find the one you are willing to take as is....

Random Things About Me:
I thought they are GREAT ! - with a dash of humor added ! Cool !

Who/What I am Looking for:
-----> Nice clarity - well written!
If I knew who exactly I was looking for ....... (anything else is just a waste of breath and my time)...

That's about it... if there is anything else you wanna know feel free to ask...or you can just wonder if you prefer...your call...
-----> yepper! - it's their call! (I got it - easy to understand from my perspective)
----------------------------------
I'd touch this last paragraph up ... The 1st sentence is cool - but I think the 2nd should go ... I'm an 'ole hoot and not a fan of having to use the word b*tch ... AND - up until the "on the other hand" it was all positive / upbeat fun etc. Instead of ending with an alluring comment - you threw in a bit of a negative. Given what you wrote up-until-then, I sense you can create something to finish it off with class. (It's evident you have the ability to) ... Ladies Choice of course though ...
-----------------------------------------
If you like what you hear message me... On the other hand
-----------------------------------------
All-in-all ... I thought it was excellent!

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:06:57 AM
Greetings ... I didn't read anything at all in your words that described sexual matters, although if you're getting harrassed by the CREEPO's you may want to consider changing the 8th (eighth) word in your 1st sentence ... to MIND ...
...
Weird people can put the strangest-of-twists on everyday words.
---------------
Do I have state on there that I am not interested in Friends with benefits. affairs with married men or one night stands?
---------------
NO - I don't think you should HAVE TO ... but it certainly wouldn't hurt to. Politely but firmly add it in.
...
And why bother responding to fools who start a dialogue as you stated?
If you're offended (which is understandable) - What's the point? ... are you only egging them on by answering? ... click delete - and if it happens again - click block ...
... Good Luck !

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Let me know what you think?
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:42:58 AM
Sheila ... You wrote a nice informative bio. Candidly - I'm a fan of the in-depth profile, and you did well.
I agree with Lynn (above) ... spread it out a little by creating new paragraphs when you have new thoughts to share. It does kinda allruntogether and therefore a bit difficult to follow in spots.
Not everytime - but, here-and-there you repeat yourself ... re-read it and you'll notice.
Make it a work in progress. You've got a GREAT start. TOUCH UP a paragraph or two each day - and before you know it - it'll READ, just as you want it to.
Take your time ... be patient ... good luck.

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Is your profile thought out and well written? I'll review yours - and give it the MAGIC TOUCH
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:13:07 AM
I've coached and mentored professional associates along-the-way on how to write with IMPACT. While here on POF, I've lent my thoughts to others (individually - not via the forums) on how jazz up their bios a bit. (with success)
They - in turn - have suggested that I share my unique outlook on how to effectively WRITE A BIO with others out here on the forum. ... So, I thought - why not? ... Maybe it'll be fun.
If you care to recieve my opinion on your profile - I'll share it with you.
Please have a little patience ... I'll respond, but I have other (time consuming) things going on in my life as well.
Speaking of which - I gotta go now
I'll be back !
Thanks !
Ciao'

MM
 * MAGIC MAN *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
The day the music died ---> February 3, 1959
Posted: 1/31/2007 7:38:13 AM
Nice thread to read thru. Good (and accurate) information has been posted.

MAJOR Buddy Holly fan here ... 2 generations later his influence is still heard. I believe he would have 'thrived' in the 60's ...
Wait a minute ... he DID thrive ! ... MILLIONS of his albums sold in the 60's and 70's ...
... actually he STILL thrives ! ... Go ANYWHERE - and you'll still see an individual BUDDY HOLLY section within the CD's area ... (45 years later!) ...
...
... which is different than - and with all due respect to the 'Big Bopper' and/or 'Ritchie Valens' who's pieces are almost exclusively on the 'Various Artists' CD's ... (Hot Hits of the 50's etc) ...
... I'm lucky ... I have a nice group of ORIGINAL RELEASE, NICE CLEAN SHAPE (original label) - Coral and Brunswick vinyl LP's and 45's of Buddy Holly ... and, I still listen to them ...
...
... Would the other '2' have lasted? ... It's a question left to the ages ... I personally think that Valens would have gotten bigger - and remained so. The Big Bopper? ... maybe.
...
... Nobody mentioned Don McLean's 'American Pie' ... (an ode to 'The Day' ...)
... One of my goals in life is to someday (soon) hop on the 'HD' and take a ride to Iowa - where I'll visit and pay my respects ...
... while I'm in Iowa - I'll also visit the Field Of Dreams ... (another passion)
... Meanwhile - back here at the 'shanty' I think I'll go slip on the head-phones for a few minutes and listen to 'True Love Ways'...
...
...
MM
 * MAGIC MAN *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 170 (view)
 
Poll: Are you currently a paying member of another dating site?
Posted: 1/30/2007 7:05:07 AM
No - although I have paid for a couple in the past. E-Harmony - which I thought was a useless experience to go thru ... and ... AmericanSingles which, I stayed with for a while ...
... until I stumbled across POF
...
... I like POF ... it's different ... has some unique features.
...
... It's not perfect - IM feature rarely works - but HEY!! ... you can't beat the price.

MM

also ... message 87 ... please send along those sites - your settings (out of country) don't allow me to E-Mail you and ask personally ... Thanks ...
 * magic man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 799 (view)
 
Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles?
Posted: 1/25/2007 7:42:48 AM
Yes ... I do ... start to finish ... and if I'm intrigued or interested, I'll go back and read it again and again.

The typical 'mundane' stuff can be a bit boring (walks on the beach / candle lit dinners / etc) ... but, if I run across a profile where it's 'evident' that some THOUGHT was put into it ... I find that impressive. (and rare - to be honest) ...

CREATIVITY - and - HUMOR, goes a l-o-n-g way ...

... especially humor!! ... I'll bet 99.999% of every female bio on FISH mentions the fact that HUMOR is a big 'draw factor' ... (fair enough) ... (I tried to include some in mine) ... and YET, I'll bet there's not '1' in '100' that types in something comical in hers.

What's up with that?

We like to laugh a little as well ladies ... keep that in mind should you do a re-write ...
Spend $2.00 and by a joke book ... It'd be worth the investment. (lol)

MM
 * magic man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 213 (view)
 
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 1/23/2007 3:42:32 PM
well - if that's the case - at some point in time you'll know that they've lieing from the 'get-go' ... Now - isn't 'THAT' a great way to start out? ...
...
... Just a thought ... 'fibbing' about an honest 'few extra pounds' is no great shakes ...
... That's fib-able!
... Wouldn't it be nice if it were JUST THAT! . A ---> 'FEW' <---

MM
 * magic man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 212 (view)
 
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 1/23/2007 3:08:15 PM
I wish every lady on POF would read thru this thread - if only to see how CONFUSING the phrase 'a few extra pounds' can be ... It may (at times) be (simply) a few extra pounds - but it's gotten to the point that A FEW EXTRA POUNDS (more often than not) turns out to be 25, 35, 40, 50 (or more) HELLO? ... is that a FEW EXTRA POUNDS ? ... What an emotional 'flashpoint' this thread certainly has been! ... posters noting many interesting factors ... including

... as an example 'medicine' ... and the weight it can bring on ... (point made)
... quitting smoking ... adding weight ... another point made ...
... the lingering effects of pregnancy and child birth ... (yes mam's understood) ...

All those - and the others - are courteously understood and appreciated - but the fact remains - 25 to 50 pounds overweight (by general opinion) is NOT a FEW EXTRA pounds ...

... and ... NOT FOR NUTHIN' ... the EXACT same thread could be started - and the EXACT same responses could be applied to the thread - if the thread were to read 'What Is Average' weight ? ... The 'general definition' of average has been twisted and turned tremendously over the years ... (though admittedly - not QUITE as much as 'a few extra ...)

I get s-o-o-o-o frustrated with it all - because I've been deceived so often - even after I CLEARLY mention weight in my profle (diplomatically of course) ...

POF should simply ask for ones weight when creating the profile ...
PROBLEM SOLVED!

MM
 * magic man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
New POF Feature.
Posted: 1/23/2007 12:06:29 PM
I think it's a good thing. (Who's viewed you) ...
Has anyone used a ROSE yet? ... or received one?

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
... an ID change is in order ...
Posted: 11/30/2006 7:04:41 AM
BIG PAPA PUMP ? are you serious ? ... I suppose you'll have a bit of success if there's a lady out there with a headline that says ---> SEARCHING for my BIG PAPA PUMP ! <---
... You'd be in like Flynn!
... realistically though - those ladies are likely few-and-far between
...
... Consider sharing a bit more of your life with the reader. She's more liable to contact you when she gets a little more information than you've shared.
... I'm sure you can do it ... Give it some thought ... Take your time. Re-do it as often as you see fit. Make it a work in progress.
...
... and - I agree with the others ... use a spell check.
... lowzy sppeling iz not az kuul az sum thinc it iz.
... Good Luck
MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
from '1' news person to another ...
Posted: 11/30/2006 6:05:31 AM
Having been in the news / print media business my entire life, I was surprised to read that you're a journalist. (Given it was as brief as your profile is)
... As you know, in any 'edition' there's hundreds and hundreds of storys. The top 5 or 6 stories that are 'read the most' - are 'Front Page' and 'above the fold'.
...
... Capture your readers attention with a 'catchy' 'overview' headline ... (sound familiar?) ...
... Draw them into the story (I/e about you) within the 1st couple of paragraphs.
... nail 'em! with a creative and easy-to-read story of 'you' ...
... Using your skills and talents, imagine a 'jump story' - one where they'll continue reading along (about you). I/e - after reading 'about you' - they're eager to read the 2nd section.
...
... You're the story - we're the audience.
...
... out here on FISH ... strive for your bio being 'Page 1' - Above The Fold!
...
... Interested readers will most definitly write a 'Letter To The Editor' ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 150 (view)
 
... waiting on the roof-top
Posted: 11/30/2006 5:26:01 AM
It's difficult to shimmey a big ole' Harley down a chimney ... so, I'll be waiting on the roof top as Santa makes his rounds.
... MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 20 (view)
 
... just a thought or two ...
Posted: 11/26/2006 9:43:38 PM
I thought your bio was well written ... very creative style - and you should be complimented for your originality ! ... COOL ! ...
...
However, your ID and headline do not flow with the accompanying essay. Mull over - putting Bob in your ID and/or your headline. It's everywhere else - so why not start out with it - up front?
... if you're receptive to considering that sort of change ... consider something like these ...
The ID - and/or headline
............. dis-come-BOB-u-lated
............. BOB's bobbing for ...(fill it in)
............. BOBBING and weaving ...(fill it in)
............. Bobble head Bob - a view from afar (a play on bobble head dolls you see in the back windows of cars)
.............

... I'd even consider What about Bob? ... although I'd think you'd lose a point ot two for UN-creativity. Something like - 'What About Bob? - The un-told story inside!
...
... The point is ... tie something WRITTEN in your headline that flows seamlessly and directly into your essays. Try not to make readers 'switch mental gears'. If you have (something) Bob in your ID and/or headline - it's a natural, that they'll just ease-on-into an essay FILLED with Bob'isms! ... (they'll sense it in advance by your ID and headline) ...
...
Another 'fine' point might be HOW OFTEN you use the actual word BOB ... it might read a bit better if you occasionally use the would 'HE' ... or 'HIS' (where appropriate) or maybe substitute in 'this same gentleman' ... 'this same person' a few times.
... You have plenty of ability to get creative - that's apparent.
... Fool with the different ideas you've gotten here - (maybe even steal a couple - nobody will mind) ...
Excellent job thus far ... !
I thought I'd share a 'constructive' fine-tuning thought or two ...
Good Luck ... Keep us 'posted' ...
MM

PS ... I'm an actually named 'Bob person' on the other side of the PC screen !
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 148 (view)
 
... A 2nd Harley ?
Posted: 11/26/2006 8:04:23 PM
Santa's going to bring me a 2nd Harley? ... Wow! ... Cool! ... and a BIG Thanks! - for putting in a 'good word' or two. Very appreciated. You're the BEST Riley ... THANK YOU !
...

...

... Being 'naughty can be nice ...

...

... although now I just 'have to' wonder what Santa would've left here in the 'shanty' - had I actually been NICE !
...

...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 140 (view)
 
... may our paths please 'cross again' Ms Riley Roars?
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:13:18 AM
Hello again Ms Riley Roars ... This profile 'writing' can be such a brain-strain on some of us like me. ... Seems to be a never-ending 'work in progess'. But I continue to make feeble attempts at perfecting it. (yeah right!) ...

I think I may be nearing the end of my revisions. (I've had enough!)

I petition your thoughts. (and I trust you with that request)
... and I only have a specific TYPE of request.

Here's what I already know and realize.
I know it's long - but that's by design.

Leave some for mystery? - and/or - What are you going to talk about when you E-mail / chat / meet etc? ... Not an issue or concern for me, if she can hold a 1/2 decent conversation ... There's lots to talk about.

Punctuation? ... and writing 'style'? ... let it go ... I wrote thousands of corporate 'communique' letters and was complimented just as often ... even by those 'A' personalities - You know? - those 'A' types ... always in a RUSH and quick to critisize?

Here's my '2 questions ...
Are my thoughts CLEAR to any lady who ventures in for a look-see? ...
and ...
Assuming I have been lucky enough to have a 'B' personality stop by - (typically a more patient type than those 'A' folks) ... do you believe my profile READS any easier to HER than the 1st time you viewed it? ... I/e - does it go from thought-to-thought OK?
Details have been addressed.
Now I seek your opinion on my progress thus far.
Thanks Ms Riley Roars (V) ...

MM
 * Magic Man *
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 110 (view)
 
... My compliments to Ms 'Riley Roars' ...
Posted: 11/21/2006 7:36:38 AM
Congratulations on your new thread! You have found your ‘calling’ Ms “Riley Roars”.
…You have earned my complete respect in the manner in which you do your reviews.
And here are a few reasons why – (for those of you who don’t know her).

There are reviewers out here that will just – right off the bat - simply get their jolly's RIPPING YOU - and what you wrote - TO SHREDS!
Riley doesn’t do that …

Her people skills are excellent ! ... She’ll compliment you on what you DID 'do right' – and be cognizant of what you’re ‘attempting’ to convey in your profile. (better than average insight skills as well) … Only after remarking in a positive manner – will she OFFER any CONSTRUCTIVE suggestions.

Her style seems to be … be polite – be NON-judgemental - be aware of peoples ‘feelings’ … compliment … compliment … suggest … suggest … compliment ‘again’ and finish off with a goal (as such) and a - positive affirmation! … (I/e – it can be done / you can do it etc) … PERFECT Riley! … simply PERFECT!

NOT ONCE have I read a review done by Riley that has the words ignorant / lazy / stupid / boring / or some other ‘crass’ remark that can (and often-times ‘IS’) ‘completely’ discouraging or (worse) ‘humiliating’ to the person requesting a review.
...
… and if you think I’m kidding about that – simply read some of the others reviewers remarks. If you put your profile out there – there are ‘some’ (so called) reviewers out here on POF that will destroy it for you – along with your confidence and enthusiasm for giving POF a try …

… Riley – you do a tremendous job at what you’re doing … you’re not out here ‘destroying people’.
… others could (and should) learn a thing-or-two from you …
… and strive to be as good as you !

… *Magic Man*
 
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