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 Author Thread: Met someone at a NYE Party-need advice
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Met someone at a NYE Party-need advice
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:44:36 AM
Just curious as to what kind of picture should a person post to "indicate that man in pic with woman" is her bf, or in serious relationship? Your orginal post, written before you asked her out, before she told you she was involved with someone, you stated that she was there with her bf. so obviously, there were enough signs at the party that he was her bf. Plus you wrote something about being hesitant to ask her out since she had bf and you knew that if you had a gf and some guy ask her out you wouldn't like it, so now to turn around and act like you didn't know if he was her bf or not doesn't ring true.

I said it before, I'll say it again, I could very well be wrong, but I still say your posting just don't add up to being completely truthful.

BTW, from my understanding, Viagra is for men suffering from ED, not for someone trying to keep up with a nympho, and I do know for fact, they are extremely expensive, $10.00+ a pill, so if someone were having to take them to keep up with a true nympho, they would have to be pretty well off to be able to afford to keep up, plus, since it's a prescription drug for men with ED, having little bit of issue believing Dr is going to prescribe them for a man who doesn't have ED, just wants to be able to keep up with a younger, over-sexed woman. Not that it's any of my bussiness, just another little tid-bit that makes me wonder how true your postings really are.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
First message asking out on date?
Posted: 1/13/2012 3:56:37 AM
NO WAY, unless you happened to be from my hometown and I've seen you around and have an idea of who you are. A complete stranger, not happening.

Would be like a complete stranger walking up to me and not having any conversation except "would you go on date with me". Gotta have some form of communication first.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Met someone at a NYE Party-need advice
Posted: 1/13/2012 3:28:27 AM
OP,
In reply to my last post to you, you responded saying you checked her fb profile and it had no current pics of her and bf, yet in earlier post you stated that when you checked out her fb profile there were pics of her and bf earlier in Dec. So which is it, pics or no pics. Seeing how this is just mid Jan. I'd say pics posted in Dec. were "current".

But again all this is history now since she politely declined your invite for dinner, the main reason I even bring it up is that I just spent the last hour or so reading your history here, and for someone who just joined on Dec. 28,2011, you seem to have alot of "stories" of divorces, 30 day relationship, dating, interest in somebody else's gf all within a short span of time. Maybe I got the dates mixed-up but it seems that if all that you have written seem to happen one on top of other. Might need to slow down some and take some time between women/relationships. Especially since you have 2 young daughters that are in your care at least part of time according to you comment about you and nympho chatting for 2-3 hrs nightly AFTER putting your kids to bed.

After reading all your post, and excuse me if I'm wrong here, but I am seriously starting to wonder about the truth in your post or if you might just have a good imajination,alot of time on your hands, or if your what the regulars of POF call a troll. Again, I apoligize if I'm outta line here, just seems like alot of drama, women, ect for one man in such a short period of time.JMO
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Met someone at a NYE Party-need advice
Posted: 1/12/2012 5:41:32 AM
This really isn't relevant anymore but doesn't facebook have a place where the person puts their relationship status? I'm not into facebook myself but it comes up quite a bit here in forums how people find out they've been dumped by seeing on the bf/gf's profile that they had changed their status to single? Since you saw her profile before you requested to be her friend, couldn't you have checked what she had as her status and saved yourself all this stress and worrying about asking her out ?

While it's true you can't win if you don't play the game so to speak, in this day and age, you never know how people are going to react. Yes, this time it ended fine, but what if her bf was one of these over jealous, violent type, not only could you have been put in dangerous situation, but you could have also put her in one if bf is the kind who checks her facebook, emails ect..I think for future reference, you should take a more suttle approach. Like asking her if she is involved before you do anything, or in this ?

Just saying, alot of men don't take it as flattering to have a stranger emailing and facebooking and especially asking their gf's for a dinner date. Let's just hope that her boyfriend isn't one of the abusive ones and your actions didn't put her into danger. Little to much overthinking drama on my part, maybe, but you see it on the news everyday where some woman was beatened or killed by jealous bf over something as simple as she befriended someone on facebook, or he found emails from another man on her computer or phone.It happens..Just think in the future, you should be more careful especially when the woman you have just met is with a man at the venue where you met her.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
contact vs no contact
Posted: 1/12/2012 12:56:14 AM
For me, the contact/no contact has always depended on the person and the relationship and the reason for it ending. Some I have stayed in contact with, others, won't speak to them if I see them on the streets, well, actually there is only one that I wouldn't speak to if saw them, but think it's a individual thing, for each person to decide what is best for them.

In answering your question as to why most people on POF say no contact, IMO to many people think once your not a couple, why bother, you broke up for a reason so let it go. Which in my opionion is rediculous for the most part. Of course, some of it can depend on how long you were together, why you broke up, ect. But in situations where it's a mutual break up, no kids involved, then there is no set rule on what's right and what's wrong as far as staying in touch with each other.

My bigger concern with your post is that your theropist is exchanging personal information with you while being your theropist. She is getting paid to help you with your issues, not be your friend. I've been in theropy before and would have been very upset with my theropist had they talked to me about their own lives, (such as sharing with you that she's done the dating sites, ect.) I don't think it's very professional of her to do so, and even tho' it may make you feel better, like she really understands what your going thru, that's what FRIENDS are for. Not theropist.JMO
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Question for the female football fans
Posted: 1/10/2012 5:07:26 AM
As long as you don't mind me using your team jersey as a dust rag, all is good..Joking, as others have said, as long as your not a real azzhole about it, take the whole thing to an extreme, I'd be cool with it.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Motivations for Messaging
Posted: 1/10/2012 4:58:27 AM
If you had no intentions of answering any messages after you wrote you were leaving by site by a certain date, why put in your profile that you were leaving instead of just leaving? Sounds like a childish game to me. "Let me threaten to run away to see if Mommy and Daddy will pay me more attention now".

Makes no sense to me, if site/sites aren't giving results you were expecting and you want to leave, then leave, by posting that you are leaving by such and such date, then not responding to any messages sent to you, you not only are possibly missing out on the one who might have been your match, but you also come off looking childish and spoilt and too demanding of immediate attention. So should you decide to stay, as others have said, even if you change your profile, your hissy fit is here on forums to stay for all to see...
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 19 (view)
 
help whats your opinion on this!
Posted: 12/15/2011 1:07:35 AM
Lets see, your meet this guy on Sat. it's now weds (well, thursday morning) and you've already posted 3 different times basically saying the same thing each time, asking a bunch of strangers if dude likes you, I'm thinkin you have more serious issues then "does he like me, cuz he talks to me on facebook.."

If you were 12, I could understand the panic and inability to be able to know if he likes you or not, but come on, at your age! Are you serious?

Help us all if he actually ask you for a date, are we going to get a blow by blow description of every word and action of the date ending with, "does this mean he likes me"..

Sorry if this sounds heartless, but seriously, how many more times and places are you going to post same story, ending with same question. IMO if he happens to read or hears about this forum and your obsession over this, even if he is interested, he'll run like he** as far as he can.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Online function- not accurate?
Posted: 12/15/2011 12:56:17 AM
I have a habit of not actually "logging out" and just leaving site, and have been told by others that it shows me on line long after I've left site. So it could be that you have to actually "log out" or program shows you still on line.Also agree with poster who said something about cell phone. Was writing with one guy who used his cell phone to send me messages while he was at work and it would often show him on-line when he wasn't.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Old friend, new possibility?
Posted: 11/18/2011 3:49:22 AM
BTW.
You make a comment that your Main job as a woman is to look good for a man, hmmmmmmmmmmm, if that be the case, what about all us women who like facial hair on a man, is he being unfair and undateable and not doing his job as a man to us if he shaves for you and things still don't work out ? Just wondering....
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Old friend, new possibility?
Posted: 11/18/2011 3:22:48 AM
Not a guy, so can't answer whether I would shave off something that I obviously like just for a "date". Even if that date meant a definate imtimate ending, I would think no. And I think you are extremely shallow if a man having a mustache is the only reason you won't date him. Why should he shave just so he can have the "priviledge" of a date with you. As far as the fact that it gives you acne, never heard such a thing, whisker burns, yes, acne no, but I'm no expert so I could be wrong.

My first husband of 21 yrs, had a full beard /mustache for over 1/2 of our marriage and I hated it, it was wirery and was painful and uncomfortable when long kissing sessions were involved.I begged him to shave it because of the discomfort.And we were married, not just him wanting a date with me. I also thought he looked much better without one, but didn't marry him for his looks, nor was the divorce due to his unwillingness to shave in order to make kissing him a more pleasant and enjoyable situation for me, I just kept lots of facial lotion on hand for my "whisker burns".

Guess what, since our divorce several years ago, don't think I've dated more then a couple of guys without mustache of beard or both. In fact, the foo man or goatee I believe they are both called very much are a turn on for me. As long as they aren't wirery..lol.Personally, I don't like a earring on a man, or long hair on them, but have dated men with both. In fact, last man I dated had hair down to his butt. I would never have dreamed of demanding him to cut it, just to go out with me, or even if we would have ended up in a full blown relationship.

I would have missed out on getting to know some amazing men if I had been so narrow minded to not date them because of my personal dislike of earrings, or long hair on a man. So he's insecure about a scar he has and wears it to cover it up, and speakingof growing, sounds like you could stand to grow up a little and relize that a little line of hair above his lips does not make the person he is.Either you like the person his is,or you don't. sounds to me like he dodge a bullet with you and your narrowmindness.

I have to admit, I'm surprized that the men on this site haven't been harder on you about just how shallow that is. I relize we all have our rites to like what we like, but seriously, you expect this man to change something about himself just to get a date with you...wow...
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
what's in her head?????
Posted: 10/19/2011 5:33:50 AM
OP,
I'm sorry for you that this woman you obviously still love, but are divorced from is putting you thru, and can't even begin to tell you what is in her head, other then maybe the whole being single and dating thing isn't all she thought it was going to be so she comes back to what is comfortable, but I am more worried about the children.

Your a grown man who can stop what she is doing to do by only seeing her when it involves the children, but when the two of you are with each other as a man and woman, husband and wife, then you are confusing the kids and possibly giving them the hope that Mommy and Daddy are going to get back together. And that isn't fair to them.

So don't see her if front of the children except for when the kids are being dropped off at each others house, then keep it at that, just dropping off kids, discussing any issue about the children that needs to be discussed and end it at that. If the two of you want to "date" keep that away from the kids unless it comes to the time that the two of you decide divorce was a mistake and want a real relationship again. Other then that, put your childrens needs first.

Remember,they are at the age that what they see in relationships will influence what they will expect out of a relationship when they are old enough for one.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
girls .. Input on the situation ...
Posted: 10/15/2011 12:22:37 AM
I'm lost as to why everyone is being so negitive about this post. According to OR poster, the woman simply let him know where she is at in this relationship and that is, she is his and he is hers. Isn't that what we all ask for, someone who lets us know how they feel about where we are in relationship.

OP, don't understand your question about if she is she is attached or not, she outright told you, she's yours, and your hers, pretty clear to me that was her " exclusive "announcement to you. Can't get much more clearer then that.

So if your on same page as her, ie, you want to be exclusive and are interested in seeing nobody but her, and see where relationship takes you, then tell her, if not, definitally tell her and tell her now, she obviously has already been hurt enough since she is a single mother has obviously has others leave her, just be honest with her regardless whether it's that you want to be exclusive or not, let her know where your feelings are and quit depending on others to tell you what to do. Only you and her know how you feel about each other.

As far as the posters telling you to run just because she is single mother, and your too young for that, you obviously knew before this that she is single mother, wasn't a problem for you then,so why run now. If being a single mother made a woman undateable,or unloveable, we'd have an awful lot of women knocked out of the dating pool. Ignore those idiots. They are either totally clueless or just bitter about women in general,(as seems the case in one certain poster who seems to have an awful lot of post and time on computer and most post basically boil down to women are good for nothing but a lay, which with as much time as it appears he spends on computer bashing women, would lead one to guess that he doesn't get laided very often,) as to rules on this sight about naming any one persons idenity, won't even give any hints as to who he is since anyone who has spent any time at all on forums, his identity is pretty easy to figure out and from what I've read, most people have same feelings about him which is just ignore what he says, and take him for what he is, A JOKE.

And yes, before it's said, I'm on forums quite abit myself,also,not alot of dates, but for the most part, you won't read alot of male bashing on my part. Just genuine opionions on my part in trying to give my opinion to what ever OP's questions are.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Is it inappropriate to tell a girl that I like the way she looks within the first message?
Posted: 10/14/2011 11:07:32 PM
At the point of first contact email message, the only thing you can go by is @1, pictures posted, 2-what she has written in profile, therefore a whole lot can be said in first message that is personal as you don't know her personally. So in my opionion, yes, is o.k. to write something nice, (nice, not peverted) and a comment about something that you read in in her profile that caught your attention that shows her you did take time to read the profile and are attracted to more about her then a picture.JMO.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
confused-blocked BEFORE I wrote
Posted: 10/8/2011 11:35:01 AM
In response to what Igor wrote, yes, if someone writes you first how has his settings set to say No Smokers, and your a smoker, as long as they write you first, you can write them back.

As for having your profile hidden, if you have exchanged emails with someone say before you hid your profile, then they can still see when you are on line,and can still write you. Also if you are active in the forums, the can click on your profile there and see it and write you.

As far as the guy writing you then blocking you before you could write back, who knows what the deal is, and unless he unblocks you, you'll never know what happened, unless you have a friend email him and ask him if he relized he blocked you making it impossible for you to write him, there's not a whole lot more you can do.

I actually had a guy block me after a few days of exchanging several emails a day, then I missed one whole day of writing him back due to me being sick, he wrote me a nasty email, saying a bunch of rude things, then thanking me for showing my true colors before he invested anymore time in me..first I was gonna just block him, but decided I wanted to at least tell him what an a** I thought he was and tell him I was now going to block him, only to find out after I had very carefully wrote a well thought out email to him, only to have it come up that I was blocked..lol...I know, supposed to hit the block button and ignore them and not create a back and forth bantering, but I wanted to at least tell him what I thought of what he had freaked out about.lol..Just like there are many species of fishies in the sea, there are at least that many species here on POF. Some of them ya just gotta love, others scared the begeezes outta ya, and others just need to be thrown back in and let go swimming in their own little worlds.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Can a man be drawn in by her eyes first?
Posted: 10/8/2011 10:08:58 AM
Ever hear the song "She's got Betty Davis Eyes"

Yes, I believe a man can be drawn to a woman by her eyes. Ever sat in a bar or Cafe' and gaze into someones eyes from accross the room. Eyes can be very seductive. I know I am definitly attracted to a guys eyes or smile or laugh first.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
why do men over 40 ?
Posted: 10/8/2011 9:51:32 AM
OP,
First I want to say from looking at you picture, you are a very cute woman, and also want to congradulate you on your weight loss , I know that isn't an easy thing to do and I very much admire those who have the will power. I know for one that is something I don't have. Whether it be losing weight or trying to stop smoking, I just can't seem to find the willpower to stick with it.

Please don't let what a few a**es say hurt or discourage you. It's not just women who have weight issues that don't get written back to. I'm definitly no barbie doll, and am no spring chicken, know when I do brave looking in the mirror I can't get over how that old wrinkled woman who is looking at me got into my mirror. Even tho' I can see all my flaws, and am willing to own up to them, I still don't think I'm a dog ,but still I don't get alot of responses from men my age group that I write to. So it's not you, and don't you let yourself think it is.

BTW, to the poster who was so rude and mean, She is trying to find someone, is on her writing men, not just sitting around watching movies and bitchin in the forums about men.

I don't know why men go for the younger women, I learned the hard way from a previous serious relationship that being with someone close to his own age made him relize how old he was everytime he'd look at me, instead of that 20-30 someone he thought he was in his own mind. So I guess, in my case anyway, that being with some body much younger then him, made him feel like he was their age vs, being with me made him have to admit how old he was.

Don't give up, if they are that shallow that they can't see who you really are, then they don't deserve you.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Should Guys pay the full amount on the first Date/Meet?
Posted: 10/8/2011 6:46:51 AM
Agreeing with most of the suggestions already made I just wanted to add one that I didn't read .While trying to take into consideration that some men are insulted or embarrassed by a woman trying to pay, (I'm talking after 1-3 dates here, in which if the man was one who asked and planned date) I've never met a man who didn't appreciate a good ole home made meal by the woman, this being done only if she is comfortable enough to have him into her home. And also is comfortable enough with the man to know that he isn't automatically going to think "score", and that she is inviting him over for more then anything more then a quite dinner at home, if she's not comfortable with having him in her home,then fix a nice picnic lunch. There really are some of us women who relize that a man has the same or even more expenses then we do, ( child support, alimony, buying out his 1/2 of the house , ect.) and aren't interested in what's in his wallet. Personally, for alot of us women, it's not the QUANITY of money he spends ON us, but the QUALITY of time he spends WITH us.

But to answer OP question, first meet, like others have said, should be something either free or inexpensive enough that money shouldn't be an issue, first real date, If he was one who asked, then yes, I do believe he should pay for first date, just pick someplace in his comfort zone money wise. Believe it or not, there are some of us women who aren't impressed by how expensive of a date you take us on. If we've "clicked" I'd much rather have several inexpensive dates then one expensive one. Save the expensive ones for a special occasion. Give me something to look forward to. Just like I'm not going to wear my best dress and heels on a first date...
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Should I listen to friends or my instinct
Posted: 10/8/2011 5:06:51 AM
When I was going through a spurt of being afraid to get rejected my son, who knowticed what was going on, simply looked at me and said, "ya can't win if you don't play the game". Thank goodness he could see what I wasn't seeing in myself, in that I was either not putting myself out there, or was pulling myself back if it looked like the guy was interested, so now, I try to put myself out there and risk it.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
advice(kinda confused)
Posted: 10/2/2011 2:12:39 AM
Maybe he wants to make sure that you have a safe vehicle since you have his kids, were nice enough to let him use your truck til he saved up money to get his own. Just curious, how were you getting around with the kids while he had your truck. I agree with others here in that you should make sure it's all on the up and up, and if all is good and both are of equal value, and the car fits your needs as good as the truck did, sign title over to him, get it off your insurance and be glad that your soon to be divorce is on such good terms, especially since there are children involved. It would probably be worth the money to talk to your attorney, I assume since children are involved , you have a divorce attorney, and just make sure you are covered legally and that the car was gotten legally, and again, is eqaul in value as your truck.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Confused and need male feedback.
Posted: 9/30/2011 11:50:35 PM
Not a male but little confused here. you've been on here since 8/27/2011, been dating guy for month now,so basically, you must have started dating right after you joined, your profile is still active yet your concerned that his profile is still active on here.

It simply amazes me how many people, mostly women,embarrassing enough, are dating someone from pof, are still on pof theirself, yet start threads about omg, he's still on pof, what should I do, is he playing me, ect..why don't people just talk to the person who will know the whole situation, and know the answer, instead of risking coming on here, saying things about him, and risking the chance of ruining a promising relationship by him finding out and reading what you've been writing.

I was once lucky enough to have someone advice me once when I was concerned about whether or not a relationship was real, she simply told me, if it last for 3 months, enjoy those 3 months, if it last 30 yrs, enjoy those 30 yrs, in other words, enjoy the time your spending with him and quit worrying about what every word means,and wasting your time spent with him worrying, he's treating you nicely, spending time with you, so quit worrying and enjoy, and talk to him instead of a bunch of strangers if you have questions.JMO.

Somebody wrote in their profile, not searching out a relationship, they happen when /if they are meant to...gotta admit, it makes alot of sense, and alot of people just put dating/nothing serious so that if nothing serious happens, they still have their pride, sorta...But when it comes down to it, if it's really meant to be, they'll change their mind in a heartbeat when time is right.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
At what point do you remove your ad ?
Posted: 9/19/2011 5:35:08 AM
You had that chat, you feel the whole purpose of placing ad's is to meet someone, your complaining that he refuses to remove his ad or even hide it, yet here you are, with a ad that still active, states looking for LTR, so what's your reason for ad still being here, if you had the chat that he's the one? And your the one with the belief that profile should be hid or deleted at this point ? I'm confused.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Am I wasting my time with this girl?
Posted: 9/19/2011 1:33:08 AM
First of all, you first start writing only a week ago, she's already given you her phone #, is answering all text even if it takes her a while to do so, (like others have brought to your attention, you said she has both a job and school) in separate towns so also has traveling to do, home work and does have to sleep sometime to be able to keep up with her busy life, she's already agreed to a face to face meet, all in a weeks time and your on here already comtiplating that she is going to cancel or stand you up, wondering if your wasting your time on her, sounds like maybe you have a little too much time so how are you wasting it on her, by sending a few emails, going to a face to face meet. If I was you I'd be more worried that her or someone she knows will read this and if she's smart, she'll run like He**. If your this parinoid or controling before even meeting, I'm more scared for her then I am for you.

Most everyone gets nervous and scared before that first meet, wondering all the if's, if he/she is the one, are we going to hit it off, is he/she even going to show. Ease up, alot of us don't even give our phone #'s for a least a couple of weeks of exchanging emails, just keep contact to site only as to not risk wrong person getting too much personal information about us, ect. Meeting within a week & 1/2 of first contact is a good thing so just relax and see where it goes. You sound more like a 16 year old then a 22 yr old.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Am I wasting my time with this girl?
Posted: 9/19/2011 1:31:14 AM
First of all, you first start writing only a week ago, she's already given you her phone #, is answering all text even if it takes her a while to do so, (like others have brought to your attention, you said she has both a job and school) in separate towns so also has traveling to do, home work and does have to sleep sometime to be able to keep up with her busy life, she's already agreed to a face to face meet, all in a weeks time and your on here already comtiplating that she is going to cancel or stand you up, wondering if your wasting your time on her, sounds like maybe you have a little too much time so how are you wasting it on her, by sending a few emails, going to a face to face meet. If I was you I'd be more worried that her or someone she knows will read this and if she's smart, she'll run like He**. If your this parinoid or controling before even meeting, I'm more scared for her then I am for you.

Most everyone gets nervous and scared before that first meet, wondering all the if's, if he/she is the one, are we going to hit it off, is he/she even going to show. Ease up, alot of us don't even give our phone #'s for a least a couple of weeks of exchanging emails, just keep contact to site only as to not risk wrong person getting too much personal information about us, ect. Meeting within a week & 1/2 of first contact is a good thing so just relax and see where it goes.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 24 (view)
 
I keep falling for it
Posted: 9/19/2011 12:46:54 AM
When first reading this I thought omg poor girl and only 19, and she could be involved with a serial killer, drug dealer, who knows what, but then after reading several people talking about your profile after they checked it out, so checked out your profile myself, now am more thinking this is a B.S. post, some kid bored and looking to shock people and have a good laugh at people who are seriously concerned for your safety. You have as your job, "killer". Wonder how many people who have lost their daughters or sons to serial killers ect feel when they read profiles such as yours mocking killing as a Job. You don't deserve the care so many people have shown to you. I don't care if you do claim to be only 19, your sick and don't deserve peoples care other then they are right, you need help, serious mental help.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
please review my profile friendly and contructive criticism welcome!
Posted: 9/18/2011 11:50:37 PM
Again I say Wow,
You really surprized me, pleasantly so OP with the attitude in which you took our reviewing of your profile. I was really expecting that you would have nasty remarks after each negitive review, and really lay into us. So I will be big enough to give credit where credit is due. It's nice to know that you really aren't as you came across in your orginal profile and that you were man enough to apoligize and change your profile within a few reviews. Hopefully that speaks more of the man you are then the other stuff did. Fun and humor is all great and good, but when your dealing with strangers who don't know you or your type of humor, it did come off as just gross and disrespectful to women. Really shows some maturity and think you will find women much more receptive now that you've changed it. Best of luck to you.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What would you change on my profile?
Posted: 9/18/2011 4:00:52 PM
I honestly liked your profile, honest and to the point, maybe a pic of you without a hat, other then that, can't really come up with anything that stands out as needing improvement.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
please review my profile friendly and contructive criticism welcome!
Posted: 9/18/2011 3:53:33 PM
Wow,
Where to start, first of all, my first thought was A curious Kitten hit the nail on the head. Will start with pics as lets face it, that's usually the first thing that grabs our attention. Someone who's mail pic is of them flippin' off pretty much tells us he's not really serious and thinks he's above others. If wasn't for fact that reason for checking out this profile is to review it, I would have immediatly hit next as fast as I could. Pic with baby, cute, but might want to put who's baby it is as many women in your age group could see that and not go any further down to see that you have put no children and pass on by thinking , new father, already on dating site, hmmmmmmmmmm.

Headline, Cutiesonly, again, conceded sounding. "Konichiwa ****es", had I not takin time to google it and find out it's song title, and even knowing that, still comes accross that you are calling women ****es, especially when down little further you mention a women with ring a "hoe". Really gives us a positive attitude toward what you think about women.Not exactly a attutude we look for on dating site.

As for your friend's descrition on you, Tactful, really, and WINNING, well, all that comes to mind is Charlie Sheens rants and his "WINNING" catch phrase, and well, we all see where his life is at.

Basically, Gross is the best description of your entire profile. Your not a bad looking guy, but could definitly use some adjustments on your view of women and how you put it into words. You come accross as someone who is already in the only perfect relationship for you and that is one with yourself..
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Would really appriciate some opinions...
Posted: 9/18/2011 3:36:19 PM
Hi,
Would really like some opionions on my profile, Things that could make it really pop, what I could do to improve on it, Do I ramble too much, ect. Welcome all opinions whether good or bad. After all, I'm here to try to find someone, want to catch the right kind of interest in me. Thanks for any and all comments and suggestions.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
All opinions welcome.
Posted: 9/18/2011 2:49:24 PM
I agree that your profile doesn't seem to really need any changes but if I had to pick anything I would say maybe not have the pic of you with sunglasses as main pic. Women like to see a mans eyes.Other then that, you seem to have it together and your profile is simple and too that point. I personally think it's great you mentioned your Dad taught you to cook some. Shows family interest and respect for you Father, good trait to have.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
just changed the profile help please
Posted: 9/17/2011 3:35:35 PM
Hi,
Read your profile, first thing I would change is your headline, You don't want me, to something more positive. You seem to have alot going for you, new bussiness shows you have ambition. Also drop the not attractive, you mention that twice. Your nice looking enough, not every women wants a "Brad Pitt". Maybe add a few more pictures.Hope that helps some, I'm not that good when comes to doing profiles, (just have to check mine out to see that) lol, but those are the two things that jumped out to me in your profile.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
why dont i get any responses that arent 2 hrs away?
Posted: 9/16/2011 1:01:32 AM
I have the same problem with men, most men that write me are from out of my area, like you said, at least 2 or more hrs away. I sometimes wonder if it's because alot of people are embarrassed at being on a dating site, so if they meet someone from out of their home turf then if it doesn't work out, the aren't going to risk the chance of running into that person, or if they write someone close to home who shoots them down, they aren't worrying about how many people the person they wrote to have told and are laughing around the office about ??Doesn' t make sense I know, after all, if you write me on dating site, obviously I'm on them to but had one guy who contacted me first, but wouldn't tell me his name and did admit it was because he was on dating site. Why the He** get in contact with me in the first place if you had no intention of us meeting?

I was like you, is it my picture, my profile, what was I doing wrong, yet I was getting all these positive emails of men interested in me from other parts of state, country, so finally learned to just let it go and not worry about it, which sucks as for the most part, I don't believe in LDR's.

Just checked out your profile, you might want to change you list of interest into lower-case letters as for alot of people all capitals are like yelling, or irritating. From what I've read anyway, personally, being an old woman, the bigger the writing the less I have to squint..lol..
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
what do you think of my profile?
Posted: 9/13/2011 3:30:29 AM
Starting with pics, great that you have a variety of them but they all seem to have the same expression, same tilt of the neck, might was to change it up a little. Know it's hard when trying to take pics of yourself but might lead to some wondering if you have permanent kink in your neck..(JK)

Seems to be alot of I's in profile.

Also, don't need to know names of all the shows and movies you watch, gets tedious reading list, maybe just put like comdies, drama's ect.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Could someone check out this poor old redneck's profile?
Posted: 9/13/2011 3:18:56 AM
Your pics are good, show different sides of you and your interest in guitar.Honestly about the only thing that I saw that really jumped out at me that threw me off was when you mentioned your childrens ages, stating you had a girl that was 4 and also a boy that's 4 but didn't say they were twins so that to me screams you had two women pregnant at same time, kinda red flag so if they aren't twins, might be better to not put ages but rather wait til you know someone well enough to share story behind having two kid same age.Other then that, since you are only looking for hang/out, didn't really see anything that wrong with your profile.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 2:48:36 PM
Speaking of that poster thing you have on your profile, that screamed to me soon as I read it that you aren't over somebody, so perhaps this also came accoss on the date. I'm surprized that he went on date to begin with after reading it. It is very nice words for someone who was involved and wants back with you, not somone who has just met you.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Whats wrong with this picture...
Posted: 9/9/2011 4:23:31 AM
Nobody on a web site can tell you if someone really ever loved you or not. And at this point, as others have stated, it really doesn't make a difference, she's gone, it's over and now is time to take the time to get to know yourself, be the man you want to be before you get into another relationship. You were young when you got together so I'm assuming she was also. Not that being married young always ends in divorce, or an excuse for bad behavior on either of your parts, but now that your older, relized what kind of mistakes you made, take some time to just be yourself, and don't rush into a new relationship til your really ready for it. Or you'll just end up hurt or hurting someone else again.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Dumped, now lost and in a tricky situation...
Posted: 9/9/2011 3:49:11 AM
Seems to me that she is using the dog and not getting all of her stuff out of your place is her way of keeping the door open to come back if things don't work with new guy. And your letting her, you say yourself, your hoping that she sees what a change you've made in yourself and will come back. She was sleeping with another man 3 days after breaking up with you, do you seriously want a woman like that back.

She left you, and while I admire the fact that you are willing to admit you made mistakes, you also admit she wasn't open with you and didn't try to talk things out. Someone else showed her the attention she wasn't getting from you and instead of talking to you and trying to work on your relationship, she moves on. Now so should you.

Give her a time limit (short one) to get rest of her stuff out, quit letting her come over anytime she wants, and quit letting her hurt you by coming into your home on a weekly b

I know we all love our pets, but seriously, you can't both have it, and as long as you let her keep coming into you home, "to see the dog" it's just going to keep you hoping that she'll see the change in you and come running back.

Either give her the dog, or keep it yourself and tell her to get her own and get on with your life.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Is he still Interested in me or hes tired of me
Posted: 9/9/2011 2:38:51 AM
Just checked your profile, wow, your really 39? From reading your thread I thought you were a teenager. How at 39 can you honestly have any question of is he still interested or tired of you with only 2 dates in 7 months. Oh, and the all important 1 text a day, but only if you text him first. I'm confused here.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
who makes the dating plan?
Posted: 9/9/2011 1:53:07 AM
Both times you have started a thread about this guy you freakin out within a day as to whether he's gonna call you or shoud you call him, He's called you, 3 days after 1st date, (not a bad time line to wait and call) Of course, as women we want them to call immediatly and set up another date or we start second guessing ourselves as to did he really even like me ect. Yet at same times, I've read threads where woman is freakin out because when she got home from 1st date, guys has already texted her and told her what a nice time he had ect, and she freaks cuz he's a stalker to text before she even had time to get home, no wonder guys are confused as to what women want..He's called you, said he'd let you know about second date so chill and wait. Your not in relationship, should have no expectations of him calling you every day. And to come onto a forum and caring on so, you'd better hope he's not reading all this, cuz if I was him, I head for the hills with my tail tucked between my legs if I was him..
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
If a woman tells another man besides her own she loves him whats the chances she slept with him?
Posted: 8/29/2011 4:31:23 PM
OP,
Sorry I didn't make myself clearer when I mention that about not feeling sexy and attrative and doing something to make herself feel that way. I meant that maybe she did it for you since you had been asking her for so long, and the two of you were having trouble on top of it, so maybe, just maybe, she did it for you...

Kinda sounds like your making sure you've got a back up woman on the line before you leave her. You say that at time you made profile, you were mad, ect and didn't know what else to do,but again I say, over year 1/2 later, your still here, still with her, ect...

You should not even be looking for someone else til you and her are done, whether she cheated or not. Your children deserve much more then two possibly cheating parents. Good grief man, put on your big boy panties, get a paternity test on both boys you claim to have with her, then work it out with her or move on..I find it really hard to believe that you are in the field you say your in and think that coming to a singles site to ask if she slept with someone else or not.Just my opinion.But then that's what your here for right?
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
If a woman tells another man besides her own she loves him whats the chances she slept with him?
Posted: 8/29/2011 5:18:38 AM
MsMuscleChick,
Still doesn't make it right to join a single site and lead other women on by saying looking for a relationship.
OP, sometimes when a woman is pregnant, she doesn't feel pretty, or sexy for their partner anymore so they do things to try to make herself feel better, plus be more appealing to him. Maybe the guy she talked to was someone who she had been talking to about the two of you guys problems and she said I love you , as in a friend that helped her and was there for her. There is all sorts of love. The text from him about putting his **** in her was wrong, but any proof that she was into that or he was just gettin out of line. And maybe she wanted to see him before he went to work, was to seek more advice and compassion. Maybe I just want to see the good in people and maybe she did cheat on you, but did you ask her instead of joining a single site to get back at her, then broadcast it to anyone who happens to read it in the forum...What happens if someone who knows the two of you, reconizes you, says something in front of your 5 year old about you maybe not being his daddy, how do you explain that to him? Yeah, some of the things you wrote make it look suspicious, but until you know for sure, why not seek professional help for the two of you instead of asking a bunch of people who don't know you so really have no way of knowing the whole story. After all, your still calling her your GF so there's a reason your still there. And don't say it's because of the kids, cuz you can still be a dad to them without being with her. It's not always best for the kids to stay together, and what, grow up always hearing mommy and daddy fighting and playing games.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 33 (view)
 
If a woman tells another man besides her own she loves him whats the chances she slept with him?
Posted: 8/29/2011 4:42:21 AM
OP,
In your profile you write, lovin life, no drama, no fears, yet you admit that you just joined to get reassurance that you still got it, plus to make her jealous. I'm thinking that you have more issues then did she cheat.... And you mention you didn't bring your son into it.Sorry but IMO joining a singles site while still with your son's mother is going to effect you son, besides the fact that your not being fair to the women who think you might be the one when you exchange emails with them. Hopefully, these women will read the forums and find out what a jerk you are, whether she slept with another man or not, you don't have the right to lead on and hurt other women. I'm sure you'll just have something nasty to say to me, go ahead, I've got my big girl panties on, who I feel sorry for is the children, they don't deserve to have parents who act like this..Plus, you wrote you knew it was stupid thing to join a single site, but here you are, over a year later and still on site and from what it sounds like, still living with her...Just sayin....Mental health technition...more like a need to be mental patient.."my strengths, considerate, good listner, "yeah, all your rude comments show exactly how considerate and what a good listner you are...
 Little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Imagine 34 years later a ghost of a parent appears...
Posted: 8/27/2011 5:39:29 AM
You don't owe him a thing, you were cheated out of a family growing up, and he waits til he's sick, probably scared and dying to contact you. Live your life as best you can and be the best parent you can be when and if you become one or are already one. I lost my step-dad of 25 years to a drunk driver on Oct.1,2008. the drunk killed two innocent men that night by making the choice to drink and drive. Over double the legal limit. Plus had only been out of jail for 1 month and 4 days after serving only 1 yr and 4 months of a 5 year sentence for yup, drunk driving, and that one was his 4th or 5th drunk driving offense. If I lived in the same state as it happened in, Part of me would want to go to him face to face and tell him exactly what he did, and how it's effected our families. My 80 yr old mom is now alone, in poor heath, and heart broken. Yeah, drunk ended up getting 2 25 yr 2nd degree murder charges, which will put him around 70ish when he is eligible for parole, and they say he will die in prison because of his health and is in constant pain, I say good, I hope he lives with what he's done for the rest of his wreched life, cause I know my family sure is going to have to. Sorry this is so long, and I know it's not the same as what you went thru in the fact that I'm grown, and got to be raised by my own parents, but people need to quit saying drunk drivers just made a little mistake and deserve forgiving. They didn't make a little mistake, the delibertly got drunk, then drove, then murdered...
Sorry, just knowticed that this was a 2006 post and the op is no longer a member, I just read it some of the responces made me so mad as I said above, I'm so tried of people thinking that a drunk who delibertly drank and drove and murdered just made a mistake and it was just an accident..There is nothing accidental about a drunk driving...period..It was a choice they made. Make arrangements before you get drunk to have someone sober drive you where ever you need to go ...Even tho op won't be reading this, and it's to late to help him decide, if even one person reads this, and then makes the decision to NOT drink and drive it was worth writing..I hope this isn't deleted for maybe straying a little from op's question. but feel what I said is still connected to subject and worth leaving on if it makes people think before they drink and drive.
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Dating People With Dependent Children
Posted: 8/27/2011 2:55:13 AM
I personally don't want to date someone who still have children at home altho' I won't rule it completely out, I love kids, but that is part of the problem, I don't want to become attached to someone elses kids, then the relationship not work out, I don't just lose my SO, I also lose his children. I already lived thru this with my second husband, who's daughter was in my life for the 3 1/2 yrs we were together, 2 of those married, before he walked out, and because of circumstances beyond my control, I lost what by then I considered my daughter..Don't want to go thru that pain again..
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
The first phone call.
Posted: 8/26/2011 6:51:45 PM
Just call her...Like you said, you can keep it short, set up a meeting for maybe something simple like coffee to see if the two of you can still carry on a conversation without the booze.You can always turn it into dinner if your both still into it..Me personally, I like to start out with a short meet early enough that it can turn into dinner but yet gives both a way out if it's just not there. Sucks trying to get thru a long dinner, with neither talkin...
 Little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Guys please answer me this.
Posted: 8/23/2011 10:30:24 PM
Not a guy but would guess maybe because your just now legal...
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
She's coming back.....
Posted: 12/1/2006 3:38:48 PM
OOPS,

I meant it just may be that she can't work.... not that it may not be... sorry bout that...
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
She's coming back.....
Posted: 12/1/2006 3:35:49 PM
I have male friends and they are just that, friends, seems like from your letter that he's told you that's all they were, and while I can understand IF he spends the time with her that could be spent with you alot, there would be a problem, but that hasn't happen yet so I don't understand why people would encourage you to "dump" him right away. Wait and see what happens, definitly talk to him about your fears, in an adult manner, non confronting one, have an open mind and who knows, you may just end up really liking this woman, and instead of losing a boyfriend, you will have gained a new friend..
Also am really curious why everyone is automatically assuming that she wants to use him for financial support. With having fibromyalgia, it just may not be that she doesn't want to work but rather that she can't..Still doesn't mean that she's going to use him...I don't have the answers for you, nothing but time will give you the answers, but that's just my opionion of situation..Good luck to all three of you.. I don't think anyone should automatically assume the worst and make this woman out to be a bad person...We all need friends to lean on...Their gender shouldn't decide whether they can be or friends or not..
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Best line you have ever heard
Posted: 11/10/2006 12:32:24 AM
first this guy walks up to my table, ask if he could borrow a quarter cuz his momma told him to call her just as soon as he met his soulmate..but wait, it gets better, so he sits down, starts telling me a story of of a horrible skiing accident he was in where he was flying down this steep hill, hits a tree, and when he came too, he saw the most beautifully colored sky that he'd ever seen, that he'd never seen a color that beautiful again til he looked into my eyes..lol......gotta give him credit tho', he knew more cheezy lines then anyone I ever met, had me roflmfao all evening...Way to this girls heart is thru laughter, and if he'd hadn't been my son's age, who knows what could have happened...
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
First time meeting...
Posted: 11/5/2006 5:36:31 PM
Maybe she's just decided that she's tired of the whole cyber dating thing and it has nothing to do with you at all, she may just be taking a break from it all.
 
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