Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: How to start a conversation with someone you have never met
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 40 (view)
 
How to start a conversation with someone you have never met
Posted: 4/19/2007 12:39:37 AM



Kinadien your profile mentions that you have a goofy sense of humor. A sense of humor is always a good place to start. Use it and think of something to say while you are walking over. Practice on people in an elevator - they are a captive audience and have to listen to you - so try something on a stranger (not necessarily someone you want to "pick up" but just a stranger. Then when you have a real situation where the girl is cute and you want to meet her, you have some "tried and true" lines in your head especially because you will probably be nervous.

Good Luck
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What Do Men Want ?
Posted: 4/18/2007 12:51:14 PM
Hi maggie, it happens to me too. I am much older than you are and have some extra "flesh" on me, but it has happened all my life. Where are you out looking. If it is where there is dancing, never say no if a guy asks you - every other man in the room has seen that and won't risk rejection by asking you himself. Also, watch the guys who are good dancers and when they aren't busy, ask them to dance. Good way to show off your talents to other guys - and you will have fun too.

Good Luck.


Merr
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 34 (view)
 
One word or one line responses to an e-mail, what does it mean?
Posted: 4/13/2007 7:31:02 PM
I know what you mean. I just spent a few weeks "chatting" with someone. I have had bad luck suggesting phone conversation so didn't offer my number or ask for his. He kept saying - why don't we meet at the Starbucks.... I really wanted to chat longer or at least by phone before committing to a face-to-face and kept trying to keep the conversation going. He didn't answer my questions until I asked them at least twice. We lived in the same small city, he was originally from a city where both of my kids lived.

At one point, I told him I was going to a job interview and got this back: "Give me a call when u get back, or possibly Sat. Good Luck." Well, I sent back a message and said I would be glad to but don't have your phone number.

Also, he was emailing from Webtv - does anyone use that anymore? Well, he couldn't send me a picture and couldn't receive one from me. Hmmm.... we live in a very high income area - wonder why he doesn't have a computer. Really made me wonder. Your thoughts.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 273 (view)
 
shaved bald men
Posted: 4/13/2007 7:02:30 PM
Good evening all you bald men lovers - and all bald men. I have nothing against men with hair - I quite like nice hair. However, I have noticed that men who have extremely thin hair - i.e., nothing or little on top, only hair on the sides, etc. - would look much better bald. When I see older men with that "fringe" on the sides, it looks silly. They would probably be much more attractive and look younger if they would shave off the rest.

That is in MHO.

Merr
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 194 (view)
 
Is Al Gore a Hypocrite?
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:56:18 PM
justhank - keep in mind that Al Gore lives in TN. I believe with the TVA electricity is much cheaper
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 74 (view)
 
antideressants are TOTALLY bad for you health
Posted: 3/26/2007 1:30:42 PM

e-wok, I just happened to think of something that could have been your problem. If you were still smoking, there are some ADs that can be used to stop smoking - which would indicate to me that they may not be suitable to people who are smoking - adverse reactions, etc. I know that Wellbutrin is used for that purpose and others may react to smokers as well. I have a friend who is a smoker and was taking Wellbutrin for depression and she had a very adverse reaction - got very sick.

Hope this helps. If anyone has a similar problem, you might want to consider that if you are smoking there may be a "drug interference"
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 73 (view)
 
antideressants are TOTALLY bad for you health
Posted: 3/26/2007 1:29:38 PM

e-wok, I just happened to think of something that could have been your problem. If you were still smoking, there are some ADs that can be used to stop smoking - which would indicate to me that they may not be suitable to people who are smoking - adverse reactions, etc. I know that Wellbutrin is used for that purpose and others may react to smokers as well. I have a friend who is a smoker and was taking Wellbutrin for depression and she had a very adverse reaction - got very sick.

Hope this helps. If anyone has a similar problem, you might want to consider that if you are smoking there may be a "drug interference"
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 69 (view)
 
antideressants are TOTALLY bad for you health
Posted: 3/26/2007 12:06:13 AM
e-wok, I cannot believe that you got addicted to Paxil. It is not addictive. You may mean that you got addicted to the effects of the med - i.e., lack of depression/anxiety. The only effect that it could cause is a feeling of peace because you aren't depressed or are less depressed. You could, however, get an adverse reaction (not all meds are meant for all people) and that is when you should consult your psychiatrist. If anyone is prescribed AD meds, they should be seeing a psychiatrist. Regular doctors don't know what they are doing - trust me I've gone both routes. It is much better to see a psychiatrist. They don't just hand out pills, they follow-up with you to see how you are feeling. It is also a place to go if you aren't getting better or have side effects.

When you were prescribed Paxil, I am sure you were told that it may cause weight gain. I have taken Paxil and have never had low thyroid and I have mine checked every 3-6 months. There are meds that are less likely to cause weight gain. Also, when you get a new medication from the pharmacy, there should be a consult with the pharmacist or an enclosure telling you of the side effects to be looking for. One of them is weight gain in connection with Paxil.

Doctors are not Gods - you should feel free to ask them what to expect with ANY prescription you are prescribed, i.e., antibiotics, antidepressants, etc. We as patients cannot allow ourselves to be naive to the drugs we are taking.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 68 (view)
 
antideressants are TOTALLY bad for you health
Posted: 3/25/2007 11:55:47 PM
mentalnursex - I certainly hope you never need them. They do work. You are leading a lot of people "down the garden path" with your misinformation.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 66 (view)
 
antideressants are TOTALLY bad for you health
Posted: 3/25/2007 10:17:03 PM
Poster No. 91, thank you for backing me up (I know that isn't what you were doing but it is the outcome). I am hoping that people who are saying bad things about these meds never have to take them. There is no shame in taking them - they work as long as you keep in touch with your psychiatrist and make sure the dosage is working. You may also need to adjust the amount you are taking of the prescribed drug after long periods. Things could change in your system which would require a higher or lower dose. A psychiatrist really cannot just allow you to take these drugs without following up with you from time to time. He will not refill prescriptions endlessly without knowing how you are doing. Therefore, people have no way to abuse these drugs - as if that would do any good. They aren't like Ritilan - they don't give you a high or anything. If the chemical balance is not off there will be no results.

Again, thank you readyfordating. Maybe if enough of us make our testimonies here, there will be less prejudice for people who take and need these meds.

Again, I would like to stress - don't get your knowledge from "friends" or supposed "experts" - if you have questions and/or need these meds, consult a psychiatrist.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/25/2007 1:54:13 AM

So GOTHYGEEK, I just read this post. You continue to amaze me that now that you KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT SEX AND A WOMAN'S ROLL IN THE SEX ACT - you think any woman who doesn't understand how to get what she wants, it is her responsibility to find out for herself before she gets in bed with a man. How did you find out that you weren't getting what you wanted in your marriage. Did a big rock fall on your head?

YOU ARE A PIECE OF WORK.

 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Bad Bed Partner!
Posted: 3/25/2007 1:47:26 AM
Well, GOTHYGEEK, look whose calling the kettle black. So, you admit that you didn't communicate to your sexless husband but you think other women should know what to do automatically. Aren't you special. AND OPINIONATED!





 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Why are there so many crazy women in this world?
Posted: 3/25/2007 1:07:22 AM
I just couldn't not say something after all this belittling of the fair sex. It is true, women are crazy because men make them that way. And, women are not still in high school. I think (at least the men I meet) men still want to be in high school - same clothes, cars, haircut, songs, friends, behavior) and resist change. Women change with the times - update themselves and their points of view. 20 years ago I wasn't sure how I felt about politics - had raising kids on my mind mostly - but now I am very interested in politics. I also have changed parties - which I think is an intelligent move - not to just think like your parents or husband and learn to have a mind of your own.

One woman said yes, we are crazy but you need us for our vaginas. Well, in this day and age - there are so many options. We, on the other hand, don't need men the way our mothers and grandmothers did. We have careers and make enough money to support ourselves so if we choose to allow a man into our life, it is because we want the MAN, not because we NEED HIM! That should be comforting to men, but because they haven't grown past their high school mentality, still think they are the "head of the house" and want woman to be submissive, subserviant and bow to them because they are the breadwinners. Sorry, you lost that title MEN. I know it is hard, but you have to update your ideals.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 62 (view)
 
antideressants are TOTALLY bad for you health
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:28:02 AM
ADs are not addictive in the way that Valium or Vicodin is. If you need them, it is hard to quit taking them without your symptoms returning. If you don't need them, you will have no problem not taking them. When you decide to quit taking ADs - for whatever reason - you need to wean off of them.

When I started ADs, my doctor said I probably would never be able to be totally without them. I was 58 and I had lost my ability to control my depression and anxiety the way I had been coping my entire life.

I know people who have done like you and used them for PTSD. If you wean off of them correctly, you should be fine. If you don't feel fine, then it is probably too soon to go off. Be sure to consult a psychiatrist! They are the only doctors who really can follow your symptoms and know which med to use for the result. There are lots of ADs out there now - much more than there were when I started taking them 7 years ago so there is no need to take something that doesn't agree with you.

Good luck. There is no shame in taking ADs. Many people are just genetically predispositioned to have depression or anxiety. Some other people have alchoholism or other illegal drug additions. At least ADs are legal and they can be used without most side effects if you adjust them according to your needs.

Good Luck.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 61 (view)
 
antideressants are TOTALLY bad for you health
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:19:10 AM
To Hoirm: I have a brother who has taken AD drugs for a long time and I never realized what they did for him. He tried to get off of them (like a lot of other drugs when people feel better they want to quit taking them) and he just started crying all the time. Then a few years later (I think it is a genetic thing) I found myself with terrible anxiety and couldn't sleep. I finally went to the doctor and he told me I was having anxiety attacks. He gave me a mild tranq to calm me at bedtime and I was sleeping fine - no hangover in the morning. Then it started happening all day long and I was getting more and more depressed as I was losing control over myself but I didn't want to be groggy during the day. I began taking ADs in 2000. While you are taking them you feel nothing different (no grogginess or dazed feelings). I have been taking them since and other than slight dosage changes and trying different combinations, I am feeling so much better. I have tried to wean myself off to see what will happen, and I immediately begin having the same symptoms.

THE THING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT AD'S: It takes several weeks to feel the benefits. And, even after a few weeks, if you don't feel better, consult your doctor about trying something different. There are tons of them out there now - many generic now (cheaper) and your doctor might also consider letting you try samples to see if they work on you. The thing about it is - you may be taking drugs (and you have only yourself to blame if you don't get your doctor to help you manage side effects) but it is much better than the alternative - I am a prime example.

Depression in my case is genetic. I can remember having depression as a young woman. My mother had depression problems and I know my father did even though he died at 55 and I don't know if it would have been more noticeable. I didn't start losing control of my own resolve until I was 58 and post-menapausal, and had a very stressful job.

Don't give up - just keep in touch with your doctor. Psychiatrists are better at prescribing and following you during the time you are managing your medication.

The guy who started this POST sounds like Tom Cruise - and he really made me angry when he was on the Today Show and denounced psychiatry. I only hoped at the time that Katie didn't go through post-partum depression. He would have been very unsympathetic and it could have been dangerous. I wouldn't be surprised if that is what Britney Spears' problem is - she had 2 kids in 2 years - hard enough without depression.

Hope everyone on here reads this. Think for yourself and contact a psychiatrist who is fully familiar with medicines and what works for what symptoms. Good Luck.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
good kiss / bad kiss
Posted: 3/24/2007 11:47:03 PM
I must say darice 58 that you took the words right out of my mouth. My sister used to complain about the way her husband kissed. Evidently, she never told him but he would slobber all over her mouth. Recently I met a guy and right away he started with the slobbery kisses. I didn't say anything for awhile because I didn't think it would make any difference - I just kept pulling away every time he started the slobbering. Well finally I just got sick and tired of it and said "stop slobbering all over me" and he just stopped. Guess no one had ever told him it wasn't good or he had some ulterior motive for doing it. To me it was disgusting - especially since I hadn't known him that long and wanted to begin the relationship as friends at first, which he agreed to. Of course it was too late for "us" by the time I had to tell him and it was the end.

Now, a good kiss - starts out soft and sweet and then progresses as the two people give each other signals. Rushing things is a turnoff for me. When I grew up that's all we did unlike today's couples. So, we got very good at it! LOL
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Why do guys do this??
Posted: 3/20/2007 8:34:38 PM
Dogwood - I think you should report him and I think the girl should too. This is not the way this site should be used.: verymad:
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Why do guys do this??
Posted: 3/20/2007 8:22:08 PM
Thank you Dogwood. You have no idea how much you helped so many women with your post. We as women are hard enough on ourselves for every little thing and we don't need someone out there saying hurtful things just to hurt when they are not even presenting themselves realistically. Spelling mistakes really bother me too (like the ones you pointed out). Now I do typos sometimes, but try to proof before I send. To for Too is not a type.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 654 (view)
 
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:00:59 PM
Hey ya'll, Clive viewed me too and also wrote me some messages. And, he doesn't get it.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 636 (view)
 
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/16/2007 6:51:37 PM
Thank you 452 and Merf for your hilarious responses. I needed a good laugh. I was on another forum recently about honesty and guess what I was thinking too was men don't know what honesty means. Good example
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 633 (view)
 
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/16/2007 6:40:08 PM
Hey "fun man looking" - I just looked at your profile and that couldn't possibly be your photo. It looks like someone much older than 25 - which are you lying about?
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 632 (view)
 
A Few Extra Pounds
Posted: 3/16/2007 6:36:23 PM
Hi, I am late in getting involved in this topic. I just want to add some interesting facts to posit over: Now, if men have a problem with women understating their size then how about the guys who say they are 5'9" and when you meet them you tower over them and you are 5'4"? How about the ones who say they have salt and pepper hair or show a much younger picture in their profile and when you meet them you can't recognize them because they look nothing like their photo? Well, this has happened to me many times. Honesty is important because if you lie about things that are so easy to spot in a face-to-face, what else are you lying about?

Thought I would throw that in for discussion.

I agree though. I am 30 lbs overweight but I am very proportionate. I am 64 and men even older than me want a woman who is slim and athletic. Guess they just want a lot younger women. Well, I would prefer younger men too - but I am sensible about the fact that I wouldn't have that much in common with someone too much younger.

 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Do you really want honesty?
Posted: 2/19/2007 6:16:47 PM
eeek - well, a drink is nice and relaxing - but getting drunk is stupid
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 146 (view)
 
Do you really want honesty?
Posted: 2/19/2007 6:13:01 PM
You totally misunderstand what the word HONESTY means.

If your girlfriend asks you if she looks fat in this dress, well she doesn't want to hear "yes." But, if she asks you where you've been when you are 2 hours late for dinner and you tell her you were stuck in traffic, etc. instead of being honest and telling her you were in bed with another woman - now that is dishonest! And, I've been there.

When she gets back from the hairdresser and you say "I don't like your hair like that" then that is honest but hurtful. If you asked her if you look OLD and she says no honey, the grey at your temples makes you look dignified, well now isn't that saying "what you want to hear" or would you rather she just bluntly tells you yes - you really look old, your face is so wrinkled - I remember when I met you, you looked so much younger - I thought you were good looking then -- well that would be honest maybe, but very hurtful. The little things like "saying what she wants you to say, i.e., honey you look pretty tonight - well you should always say things like that to her and she should always want to tell you that you look handsome. These are just polite things. The real reason women want honest men is so that they can TRUST them not to carve up their heart.

Do you understand now?
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Question for a guy
Posted: 10/22/2006 5:56:08 PM
JWA - this is to you. You are full of "it" if you think women complain for nothing about men who always just want the Barbie type. I have been on every website personals and no matter what they look like or what age they are, they want a woman 20-30 years younger, long hair, slender and fit body. It is very frustrating because I can never find anyone who will even take a look at my profile.
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What Do Men Want ?
Posted: 10/22/2006 5:48:48 PM
I disagree crane man. I think all of her pictures show a very pretty and sweet girl. I know exactly how you feel though Maggie. I have always had this problem - and as you can see, it has been a long time. Don't know what to tell you. The last guy I dated said all of the right things but as soon as possible wanted to jump in bed. Guess you have to advertise that you want sex to get there attention
 merr7242
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Guys who push too far too fast.
Posted: 10/22/2006 5:23:44 PM
Hi Brandi

I know exactly what you mean. This happened to me recently and we are seniors. The guy told me he was falling for me the second time we saw each other. By the third meeting, he was in love with me - hadn't ever felt this way, etc. I am convinced that it was just a ploy to get me in bed and I resented this very much.
 
Show ALL Forums