Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

          

Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: time to choose
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
time to choose
Posted: 4/12/2008 8:24:30 AM

"the one" doesn't sound like what you are looking for.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Broken up via Email: How cowardly!
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:45:32 AM
I totally agree with Curly on this one.
I have had a guy break up with me over email and a couple who just disappeared! The emailer is cowardly, but is not as cowardly or inconsiderate as someone who just stops all communication and disappears leaving you wondering what went wrong.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Informing Parents of College Students Drinking?
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:38:18 AM
IF the parent is footing the bill for college, I think they have a right to be informed about minor trouble with drugs and alcohol on campus, especially if the "child" is not of legal drinking age. Also, I think that parents who are paying college tuition should also be entitled to a copy of the end of semester transcript/grades.
Ok, so now the FERPA Law supporters can slam me...
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 133 (view)
 
Do men feel anything when they have sex or are they emotionless?
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:02:04 AM
Nick,
Very well written. I totally agree with you ... I have seen this happen!

Domesticated men of course evetually have troubles in the erection dept because they turn into teddy bears.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Want to give a hint to him about getting married, how long after dating?
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:19:58 PM
I agree with Karla,

I would just open up the converastion with your boyfriend, and see how he reacts.

However, this is probably not something you want to pressure a guy into after dating for only 2 months, and depending on how he feels about marriage and kids it could scare him off. IMO 4/5 months of dating is not that long, but I do understand that you can't afford to waste another 4 years dating if you really want to get married and have kids.
Good luck and Happy 2008 to you too
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Sad But True
Posted: 1/2/2008 4:49:02 AM
I can't believe he gave out his home phone number...
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is giving CrappyFudge as an X-mas gift...
Posted: 12/15/2007 4:51:16 AM
Substitute Godiva, Lindt or other upscale chocolates for the Crappy Fudge. I am sure it is wonderful, but the name and packaging are tacky.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
feel a bit stupid
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:12:19 AM
Sounds like a good thing to me, but part of the story is missing. Why did you break up? Was it mutual? Do you want to get back together? IF yes, call her and tell her how you feel! Maybe she feels the same. If you dont, then don't contact her anymore so that she can move on too.
Best of luck
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Plans to meet 6 different times- and 6 times does not show up!
Posted: 12/11/2007 4:47:42 AM
First, I must admit I didnt read all 5 pages of responses, so I apologize if I am duplicating someone else's post.
Seems to me like the man is either married or already involved with someone else... Is it possible that he is making up excuses to break dates at the last minute because he is seeing someone else or cant come up with an excuse to tell his wife so that he can get out of the house for a few hours? I have heard some far fetched excuses myself from someone who turned out to be seeing 2 other women while we were dating. If he doesnt call or answer the phone most likey someone else is there with him making it inconveinent for him to talk. If he really was single/unattached then he would call right away and would most likely have his cell phone turned on to take your calls even if he is fixing a car or taking care of a sick kid or dog.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Second date and he wants to pick me up but....
Posted: 12/1/2007 4:44:18 AM
funnynsweet,
You are NOT being paranoid. Go with your instinct, meet in public places for the first few dates, especially if this is a total stranger from the internet. You could arrange for an after work date and say you were coming straight from work. But if you have any doubts, don't go! I once had someone ask to meet me at an upscale restaurant that was closed for the winter, in an area where most of the other businesses were also seasonal and closed - big red flag Because I was new to the area, I think he might have thought I wouldn't know the place was closed and his plan was to get me to the dark empty parking lot.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Reoccuring dreams...anyone else hurt by them?
Posted: 11/26/2007 6:43:19 PM
I went through a full year of dreams, almost nightly for the first few months, after someone broke up with me after being together for less than 1 year (short relationship but very intense). They were also always happy and based on memories of real events - doing things, attending cultural events mostly. They were real as you said, and I would wake up and feel sad all over again when I realized it was just a dream. Occaisionally I will still have a dream, but it doesnt hurt as much. This is similar to dream cycles people have after experiencing the death of a loved one. I am sure it is harder on you because you were married and had kids, but I understand where you are coming from. Hang in there, it will get better
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
How To Let Go?
Posted: 11/23/2007 4:10:54 PM
I am so sorry, I feel your pain. I had a very similiar thing happen to me with someone I had dated for a few months except it was the opposite. He had a problem, and was stressed out and most likely embarassed by it. I was a little shocked at first, but thought I was very understanding and more than willing to try to work things out. He said he needed a few days after he disclosed what was going on, and basically never called back either. Ignoring messages, not answering the phone and not calling back is a guy thing- he either doesnt want to hurt you or be hurt himself. I persisted but not to the point of desparation and finally did get him to respond/answer the phone. And it was not what I wanted to hear. Maybe he just needs some more time and could surprise you but for now try to focus on your health.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 375 (view)
 
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 11/21/2007 11:40:59 AM

As for being Catholic and married in the Church, depends on the circumstances of his first marriage, but for a simple ceremony conducted by a priest, he doesn't have to have his marriage annulled. If they do a full blown marriage rite, he would.

I dont believe that the above is true. Getting married by a Catholic priest is being married in the Church, regardless of the size of the ceremony or the number of guests.


He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????

No way! I would however lose 180+ pounds by getting rid of him!
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Have you ever experienced a real courtship?
Posted: 11/20/2007 5:01:54 AM
Yes, I did - All 1 through 8 It was the best relationship I ever had. Unfortunately it didnt last, I think the timing was bad for both of us. I have never really gotten over him as I still think about him almost everyday (even if I am dating someone else). Doubt that I will ever meet someone as special as him...


My theory is because they probably did not start out that way.
I couldn't agree with you more!
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
You think you got it bad?
Posted: 10/27/2007 3:21:15 PM
Wow! The whole story reads like a bad made for tv movie.
Hope all turns out positively for you somehow.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What puts you off?
Posted: 10/27/2007 1:47:11 PM

he isn't willing to move to phonecalls (we've been emailing for a couple of weeks now) because he's a "phone-a-phobe".

he's probably married or committed to a long term girl friend.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
She writes long emails, is she interested?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:11:44 AM
If she is responding to your emails with long emails then I would think that she is interested Why would she waste her time if she wasn't intestested? Keep emailing and when you feel comfortable you could ask her if she would like to chat on the phone or meet in person.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How to do this? I'm really in need of advice.
Posted: 10/25/2007 4:51:05 AM
To Freude,
I don't think Star53 intended to be negative, just being honest and very polite too. His answer makes a lot of sense...

I was told along time ago that if you want to become a millionaire you don't ask someone making $5.00 hr. what is the best way to become one. you ask a millionaire for advice. the same applies here. the truly happy couples that have been together for years...are not on this site hon. why ask for advice from people on this site that hav'nt a clue their own selfs? that are still hoping to one day get it right. the next time you see , or if you know a couple that have been married for 50 yrs. ask them the questions you need answerd. they will come a whole lot closer to giving you the best advice.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
IS IT FAIR TO GIVE AN ULTIMATUM?
Posted: 10/24/2007 4:59:22 AM
Does a leopard ever REALLY change his spots??????

No. Don't count on him changing, especially after 12 years...
It is fair to ask him, but it is also fair to accept his position and move on.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
A player outed
Posted: 10/23/2007 4:55:08 AM

I would have played it through...met him at the same Club..have the gal show up at the table next to you and watch him squirm...

good idea, keep it in mind for the next time
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
How to approach a women
Posted: 10/23/2007 4:44:36 AM
That is an easy one. Start a conversation by asking her a question about an assignment for class.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
whats the diffrence between online dating and going out to meet people
Posted: 10/23/2007 4:42:52 AM
I am confused... If you are having no problems meeting women out in the real world, why are you trying to meet a woman online? Go for the real thing!
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 9 (view)
 
~~ Dating Advice for men in college - How to approach college women ~~
Posted: 10/21/2007 12:17:23 PM
Hi Vinny,
A few ideas on campus ideas...
Get involved in campus life - join a club that interests you, attend cultural, social or sporting events, volunteer, study in the library or campus center, work out in the gym... Then talk to people around you.

Ask the woman sitting next to you in class a question about an assigment. Approach the woman sitting alone the cafeteria and ask if you may join her and strike up a conversation.

Also, what is so wrong with asking a female in your class to study? It could be a good way to get to know someone and get a better grade at the same time.

Good luck
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Interesting place to ask for a date
Posted: 10/18/2007 6:12:32 PM
So you would rather meet a total stranger from a dating site than someone who got up the nerve to ask you out in person?
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
dating site addiction?
Posted: 10/15/2007 6:37:08 PM
To nomadd7
In answer to your question,

ok umm what country do you live in


I live in the USA just like you! Believe it or not I know several people whose lives don't relvove around the internet
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 15 (view)
 
dating site addiction?
Posted: 10/15/2007 11:10:37 AM
Hi Daisy
I tend to agree with you, the phonemena is reality for some. Had a friend who a few years ago actually admitted to having a dating site addiction - maybe not with this site, but with others. He claimed to have gone on over 60 first dates in less than 3 months! I think to some it is an addiction to see how much attention they can get but may not be looking to meet someone, for others it is an addiction where they are always looking for someone "better".
Personally, I prefer to date someone who doesn't own a computer and has no idea what the internet is... My suggestion to you is try to meet people other old-fashioned ways.

Sorry you were hurt.
 Activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Ordering food
Posted: 10/13/2007 2:37:13 PM
If I am on a first date, or just recently started dating someone, I always ask what they are thinking about ordering. I dont order for them but I do order something in the same price range. I am not going to order a $25.00+ dinner with an $8.00 appetizer if my date is ordering a burger, or soup and sandwich on the lighter side menu. Or sometimes I have a couple of choices ready, insist that he order first and then order accordingly.
Same goes for the beverage. If newly dating someone, I rarely order alcohol if the date is not induldging.


Oops! Didn't mean to repeat what "minhasakillersmile" already said. I just read her post. Great minds think alike
 Activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
What do you consider a no no on the first date?
Posted: 10/13/2007 2:06:27 PM
That did not bother me as much as the ozzing scabs that he didn't even cover up all over his bare arms.

Sounds like severe eczema or possibly psoriasis. If it was indeed that bad, he probably should have worn a long sleeve shirt and perhaps even mentioned it before the date.
However, people shouldn't be so shallow as to condemn or make fun of someone because of a medical condition or disability that they most likely have little control over.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
how do u wow a female on the first date
Posted: 10/10/2007 11:41:38 AM
Stick with the single rose. A bath time basket is much too intimate for a first/second date. Have fun
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Should I try and sell my desserts? what do you think?
Posted: 9/22/2007 11:42:04 AM
Do the math, and count up everything before you set a price.

A friend of a friend was making cheesecakes and selling to a restaurant who sold them by the slice on the dessert menu. One day she sat down and totalled everything - ingredients, kitchen permits & licenses, separate refrigerator (per board of health) for the ingredients and the finished cakes, cost of pans & other utensils, increased electricity (she watched this carefully over a few months), packaging costs, her time including travel to and from the restaurant to deliver as well as the time she spent "baking". With all totalled she was barely breaking even with paying herself only a minimum wage salary.

Best wishes,

p.s. Please send me some brownies too
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Sorry folks,I am upset here...
Posted: 9/17/2007 4:28:38 AM
Additional clarifications as some people requested
...

Ok, so now your post makes sense! Thanks for the clarifications. I understand why you would want to just meet somewhere in the middle. 40 minutes can be somewhat of a distance to go for last minute plans, especially if you need to go home from somewhere else, shower and change clothes, go food shopping and then drive to his house. I guess if it were me, I would have simply asked for a rain check, and then plan another date for the home cooked meal.

And, to all of you who are complaining about her English, how many languages do you speak? Give the woman a break!
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Sorry folks,I am upset here...
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:08:46 PM
There probably isnt much left over from a 50K salary after taxes, medical insurance payments, child support if any, retirement savings, a rent or mortgage payment, house utilites, home maintanence, phone bills, internet charges, groceries, gas and other car related expenses, clothing...

I dated someone who was in between jobs, (lost his job and temporarily out of work to put it bluntly). Our dates consisted of long walks on the beach or on conservation trails, movies - sometimes in the theater but mostly rentals watched at home. We would occaisionally go out for "cheap eats" or order pizza, but mostly we would take turns making dinner at one of our homes. I offered to pay for things, but he felt funny about that. It was fun just being together, it never mattered to me that we didn't go on expensive dates or dine at fancy restaurants.

Not sure for what you are asking advice. Are you concerned that he is not spending any money on you? or are you questioning his motives for inviting you to his home?
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is it over forever? or just on hold?
Posted: 8/31/2007 1:17:10 PM
Sorry to say, but it is probably over. My advice to you is too move on. I was in the same situation as you 4.5 years ago. He had some medical and child custody issues, and broke up with me. It was nothing we couldnt have worked out so looking back I think it was an excuse. I believed we were meant to be together and thought maybe the timing was wrong and for over 3 years hoped he would be back. It took me 3.5 years to get over him! Just when I had gotten over him, he sent an email suggesting we meet for a drink to catch up -we had a lot in common. We met for the drink and had a few dates, but then he stopped calling. Finally sent an email explaining that he never intended to rekindle the old flame. To this day I still dont understand what happened the first time, and why he messed with my heart again after all those years... and what did he want... (and it was not what some of you might be thinking)
Sorry you are hurting.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Help Me Make Sense Of This Guy?
Posted: 8/4/2007 6:59:40 AM
Didnt read all of the posts, but tend to think that Ron9's number 6, and LesLee41's number 8 posts make sense. Guys think differently than gals, and they also seem quicker to want to rush into a relationship. Mark probably took your lack of an I love you too response as rejection...

Sorry you got hurt

P.s. Just read your last post and it sounds like you have things figured out....
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Best Cake Variety - Discuss
Posted: 7/28/2007 3:22:05 AM
Thanks Gatorchick
One question, so I bake the cake then frost it when it is cooled and then back it again with the frosting?
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Best Cake Variety - Discuss
Posted: 7/27/2007 1:05:42 PM
to Gatorchic:


MINE IS MY MOTHERS OATMEAL CAKE WITH TOASTED COCONUT ON TOP.


Could you please post the recipe. It sounds healthy as well as deliscious


THanks
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 146 (view)
 
Reporting And deleting Main images
Posted: 7/14/2007 6:52:52 AM
The other things that annoy me are when the pictures are fuzzy or when they are so dark that you cannot see the person.

Sometimes a person has no control over the quality of the picture, usually when an older photo is scanned. If someone doesnt know what they are doing resizing photos can be tricky too and can lead to fuzziness. But I do agree there are a lot of dark and fuzzy photos out there.


No kids, friends, cars, or pets, either as a main pic or with the person.

I dont think it is appropriate to post photos of your kids. If you are posting pictures with friends you really should make sure to let the friend know that their pic is on a dating site! Some people may not be too happy about being posted. Pets and cars are ok with me.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
would you think this was a little over board?
Posted: 3/23/2007 5:18:28 AM
Not weird at all, that's great for you I dated someone several years ago who went to hypnosis and quit smoking for me. I never asked him to, but did mention it wasnt healthy. It was the nicest thing any man ever did. However, he did start up again after we broke up. Which goes to show that you really need to want to quit for yourself. Hope you make it
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 17 (view)
 
A moral dilemma, what would you do in my situation?
Posted: 3/7/2007 4:25:35 AM
Would YOU buy that car?


ir0n, How can you possibly compare a person, especially one who is honest and upfront, to a used car??? Are you really that cold and insensitive?
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Dating Someone with Allergies?
Posted: 3/3/2007 8:44:05 AM
Pet allergies can be severe, and sometimes even life threatening, especially if asthma is involved. My aunt was hospitalized for almost 3 weeks due to complications stemming from a cat allergy. You can react from animal dander/fur on someone's clothing or by being in someone's home or car where pets have been even if they are not present at the time. If you do rid your home of the cats, if the allergy is severe it may take a long time for him to feel comfortable in your home no matter how hard you clean. Getting allergy shots and taking medication is not always an option.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 66 (view)
 
How far have peopled traveled to meet a date
Posted: 3/2/2007 5:22:45 PM
1450 miles. Someone I met in real life through work, not online.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
The one guy that when he calls, can send your heart into a whirlwind
Posted: 3/2/2007 10:51:09 AM
I had someone who made my heart POUND, really fast, not just a pitter patter. Seeing his name on the caller ID, or even in the "from" of email, would make my heart race. It was a rather short lived relationship, the timing was wrong and he had some issues (including child custody & medical). Although it was four years ago, I remember every detail as if it were yesterday. I have dated others since, but have never really gotten over him. If he were to call me out of the blue today, I would happily drop everything and pick up right where we left off. I am sure my heart would still POUND!
Take a chance with him, wait 6 months, go with your heart! If you don't, you will always wonder what might have been. As missright_3 posted, "If you loose him it will take you a long time to get over him and a longer time before you can open up your heart to any one else" - I have been living that for 4 years.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Is kissing more or less important to you in a relationship as you get older?
Posted: 2/22/2007 6:26:52 PM
I am very passionate about kissing and would not want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 119 (view)
 
Where are the geeky girls?
Posted: 2/19/2007 5:04:34 PM
Take up square or contra dancing!
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 1304 (view)
 
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 2/19/2007 9:32:13 AM

No he is a detective and a very good one

How do you know that for sure, if you haven't met yet?
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Being hung up on
Posted: 2/19/2007 7:53:59 AM
He hung up on you? Where I come from someone who is "very interested", does NOT hang up. He is making excuses and probably is not really interested in pursuing the relationship any further or maybe he is dating around or possibly married like some of the other repliers suggested. I am sorry if this reply is harsh, but I have been in your position before with a man who made up excuses (i have heard some really far fetched ones concerning his kids ), said he was busy and would call me back but never did, and didn't return phone calls when I left messages. He would also sometimes make "tentative" date plans, not confirm and then turn his cell phone off that entire day, so I couldnt call him to confirm. Turned out he was seeing someone else too!
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Why do so many misrepresent themselves on dating sites?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:25:22 PM
onesimpleneed said
"... you are average, not a few extra pounds. However, at 5'8" size 14 is average. At 6'3" and 188 pounds, I am boderline obese, at the high end of normal, I'm supposed to be around 174. "

The average American is overweight! I am tall and would definitely be "a few extra pounds" if I wore a size 14 I would have to weight about 30 pounds more than I weigh to wear that size. Why is it that a woman in a size 14 is considered average, but a tall man of 6'3" who weighs 188 is borderline obese?
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
would you date someone from across the world
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:48:39 AM
No, never again - it's too painful. Met someone through work who lived 1300 miles away, neither one of us was in a situation where we could move to where the other lived. We last almost a year. Phone bills were astronomical, and flying got old too.
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Men paying for the sitter ?
Posted: 2/17/2007 12:44:45 PM
I would never ask or expect a man to pay for the babysitter! However, I dated a man who not only offered to pay for the sitter, but also bought pizzas for my kids and the sitter if we were going to dinner!
 activegirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Kisses etc, then blah.
Posted: 2/16/2007 10:44:47 AM
I agree with Belladona

dating sites make it easy to perpetuate that "let's see if there's anything better"
 
Show ALL Forums