Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

          

Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Please review
 BlahGrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Please review
Posted: 11/7/2014 12:44:29 PM
Thanks. Looking for things that I probably shouldn't mention, and what I should add. I had a female friend look at it this was her response "I feel like you aren't really capturing yourself there. You have a lot of dateable qualities, but I don't know how to translate them into a site like that." She couldn't articulate what I was failing to have in it and I'm at a loss to what else to add. Perhaps bucket list/random life ambitions?

I'm working on replacing the selfies.

Thanks again

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=30339
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 84 (view)
 
First Contact: Generic emails vs. Creative Writing
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:36:51 AM
I'm not sure if request for "Creative" is well recieved. Whenever I've taken the time to write something interesting or humorous it doesn't seem to change the odds of a person replying. "Hello, How are you?" goes a great deal farther if they like your picture or perhaps something in your profile than a well crafted message. Everyone just pays lip service to the latter.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 71 (view)
 
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/24/2009 1:03:34 PM
More of a side note, but it never ceases to confuse me how prejudice instantly becomes discrimination when politically incorrect statements are made by a person. The former may be distasteful, but people are allowed their own beliefs and opinions are they not? Intolerance will not be tolerated. Blah.

Saying you want to have sex with a member of a certain race is no difference than any other division of humanity. Blonde, overweight, short, midget, blind, or what have you.

BTW...eavesdroppers are morally reprehensible themselves.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 15 (view)
 
would you date a guy who doesn't believe in education-content with his job
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:53:02 PM
Can someone get a great job without education? Yes.
Can someone make millions without an education? Yes.
Does an education quarantee those things? No
Is it as likely for those without as those with? No.
Becoming filthy rich is generally a matter of chance/luck.
Becoming rich is usually a matter of hard work.

Does the guy sound a bit delusional? Yes.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 89 (view)
 
The Game and its effectiveness
Posted: 9/11/2009 5:51:10 PM
The disposable issue is certainly true... I had the "Plenty of Fish" concept in my mind when I was thinking about entertainment..but just thinking that as soon as someone stops being entertaining they are replaced. This online dating thing makes that issue far worse. Someone else a button click away.

Maybe the western world is simply too plentiful. Eh...for now.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 51 (view)
 
The Game and its effectiveness
Posted: 9/7/2009 7:10:57 PM
As mentioned, I think The Game has a lot to tell someone about how men attract women in our society now. Absolutely nothing about keeping them or forming a relationship, though. It's all very superficial and flashy because that is what has the most value in our society. "Character" in whatever values it may display itself isn't as important because men and women don't fundamentally need and rely upon each other as they once did. A partner is no longer there to help you with your problems in life and to make it easier/bearable, but purely as a form of entertainment.

Both men and women have higher standards in a significant other and/or lower standards for themselves. Freedom and Entitlement beat out responsability.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 17 (view)
 
WOW! DUMBFOUNDED
Posted: 8/13/2009 5:32:01 PM
Given my passing knowledge of soldiers overseas.... it wouldn't do any good. The Soldier won't listen.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Do women get more attached if a man makes them cum?
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:57:05 PM
Perhaps I'm under thinking this or something...but I'd say it isn't a yes or no question exactly. If someone does something we enjoy, and most people enjoy good orgasms, we like them more. We become attached to people because we like them, enjoy their company, value them internally and externally. It seems obvious that at the least it increases attachment a minor amount more than if they guy/girl hadn't been able to make them cum. And a lot if you happen to value someone good in bed more than other things...similiar hobbies, goals, compatability, ect.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 18 (view)
 
what does it mean when a guy asks how many other guys he is competing with? translate please.
Posted: 3/15/2009 9:04:15 AM
I'd second that he is being upfront and is either fairly oblivious or you aren't giving any signals.

I had a similiar issue a couple years ago and asked a different sort of question..but same motivation.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The Perils of Online Dating (Guy's POV)
Posted: 3/15/2009 8:42:41 AM
I suspect the short attention span "phishing" effect applies to both men and women. The next person being one click away causes us to pass up people we would have showed far more interest toward in real life. Women probably do focus on the text more than most men, though.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 35 (view)
 
He's in Iraq ..
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:13:25 AM
He's an immature soldier in a hostile environment that alters his frame of mind. He is surrounded by guys who have been cheated on in the past or are currently being cheated on and know it. They will constantly be ****ing about it & remarking on it if they have any reasonable amount of downtime. If you have been having sex regularly the lack of it is something that is constantly on his mind. Even if you weren't friends and hanging out with guys he would be worried.

Can you honestly say to yourself that you wouldn't be worried and insecure in the same situation?

For those of you bashing him...we only have what she has said...and you people have no bloody clue how many soldiers get cheated on while they are deployed. He isn't treating her like a slut, he is looking at her as one of the statistical majority.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 12 (view)
 
getting in your pants
Posted: 3/1/2009 2:08:54 AM
Issues....
*Men are visual (As mentioned above)
*Whatever people may claim, you can't really have a romantic relationship without both people being physically attracted to each other. Without sex it is called friendship.
*All flirting/hitting on from a guy to a girl involves an implicit "I want to get in your pants" (As mentioned as well.)
*Looks are the exact same thing men and women respond to first with non-verbal communication in real life. There is nothing different here.
*Most women don't put that much in their profile to respond to. When they do it is really obvious stuff that every other girl puts in their profile. I'm sure men are the same, but I don't look at male profiles, so I wouldn't know. What else would you expect him to say? How else could he compliment you? I've generally found women are extremely taken aback by my attempts to start a "deep" conversation.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Hey....I really need help
Posted: 3/1/2009 1:57:59 AM
I'm always curious about how judgmental people are on forums. Not just here...all of the different forums (All besides this one being hobby and not social based.) are extremely judgmental all the time. Apparantly the internet just brings out the negativity in people.

So...my first thought was to tell you that it really isn't weird at all for younger people(No clue about people over 30, but I wouldn't except thing to be different.), although perhaps a bit premature, more so since you didn't explicitally request or hint at it, but if you gave him the idea you were interested then why knock him for not asking you ahead of time? Do you like a guy asking before he kisses you? Or perhaps he thought you were too shy to ask, but either way it seems silly to knock him for being "spontanious".

After the remark about coming on strong at the start it makes it look less favorable. If you expressed concern about something similiar in the past or that you might not appreciate that kind of thing then it was rude. It also makes him come off as pushy and a player if he is trying to move a great deal faster than you.

Only you can know if he is pushing to much with this act, nobody on this boards opinion matters in the least to how you feel about it, including mine. Who cares if it is "normal" or not?
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Would you date a bald girl . . .
Posted: 2/6/2009 7:43:53 PM
Attraction is attraction, so I mentally want to say Yes. But no clue really.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 81 (view)
 
He spanked me & choked me...is he a perv?
Posted: 1/21/2009 12:00:01 PM
By definition is would be a perversity, because a perversion is something required for sexual stimulation, not just something someone finds exciting occasionally. Atleast from what I have read.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 24 (view)
 
T.V. and Hollywood`s effect on physical requirements.
Posted: 1/19/2009 1:58:50 PM
I was wondering the other day at the correlation between increasing obesity rates in the US and the ideal female and male image becoming thinner and more muscular. Almost seems like we are disgusted with ourselves and seeking an opposing unhealthy/unrealistic image. The muscular thing isn't exactly new for guys, but it may be more severe since most males aren't physical laborers any longer.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 5 (view)
 
When to worry about a girls recent lack of interest in sex
Posted: 11/2/2008 12:11:40 PM
Yes, Birth control can have that kind of hormonal effect. She needs to see her doctor if she wants to fix the sex drive issue.

Last girl I was with had that issue. She just wasn't that excited by sex and had difficulty climaxing. She still had sex and enjoyed it, but it seemed more directed towards pleasing me than her own lust. It got worse the longer she was on the birth control. The doctor gave her some vitamins and drugs of some kind that seemed to work really well at returning her sex drive.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 23 (view)
 
More or less intelligent?
Posted: 10/24/2008 12:57:12 PM
More. Humility is good for the soul.

If they are anywhere near me then other issues start taking priority.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Slobby look is attractive?
Posted: 10/22/2008 2:51:34 AM
Is this any different for men?

I've had better luck when I met a girl randomly, unshaven, and in clothes I wore all day doing yardwork than when I actually put on decent clothing that was atleast color coordinated. Same deal with trying hard, as well... This seems to be more than an issue of just being yourself.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Ok...Am I reading this guy wrong? or is he interested?
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:11:27 AM
I kinda think people are making a big deal out of this "Ethical" lapse on the teachers part. Once he is not your teacher there is no longer any ethical issue, and honestly..despite the lack of political correctness, I'm not sure how much of an ethical issue it is for him to have feelings for you and be attracted to you. Considering the age difference, which from a physical attraction perspective is small, it is rather natural for him to find female students attractive. It is bloody silly to think otherwise. As if political correctness or "Ethics" can change the physical and sexual aspects of human nature.

I'm not even sure if that email was being flirtatious. Just because someone is complimenting you, values you, and holds you in esteem doesn't mean they are flirting with you.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Is it really a huge societal change?
Posted: 7/29/2008 2:56:46 PM
I would agree that relationships are grounded more in wants than needs now. Therefore relationships are not required, only desirable. The drawbacks to changing an existing relationship are fewer because wants impact your life less than needs.

The drawback to starting a new relationship/ending an old relationship is time, emotional investment, and usually money/value. You always provide time and usually value for entertainment. If courtships are entertaining, which they seem to be even if they fall short of fun for many people, then only the emotional investment is really a loss.

It seems like a form of gambling, bet your emotional investment plus excess spent monetary value on three possible outcomes: Meet more of your wants with a new relationship, meet a similiar amount of your wants, meet fewer of your wants.

You would be unwilling to make such a gamble if you valued your emotional investment more than than the chance of increasing your wants being met. Perhaps people have unrealistic views on these odds.

It's making more sense in my mind than on the screen.

Edit: Love and Companionship is a need to be happy and well adjusted. Being happy and well adjusted isn't a need, though.

If you call into question survival itself as a need then you no longer have a definition of need anyways. Things are needed because without them we can't survive.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Should I run from weak work ethics or stick around?
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:32:02 PM
Does he truly not have a work ethic or is this simply a lifestyle choice? Other cultures view employment far differently than America. From personal experience I am only familiar with Iraq, but I have heard of a lot of other places where people work only enough to make it by, putting a higher value on their time, experiences, and relationships than "Stuff" and financial security.

Does he lack a work ethic when it comes to chores/cleaning/yardwork? If so then it would be fair to associate the weak work ethic with other negative attributes. If such was the case his honesty seems out of place.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Hetero but homo thoughts
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:15:25 PM
To OP, I was going to assure you that it seems to be normal, just not talked about, except for the "always" part. If you are fantasizing/thinking/aroused by homosexual thoughts more than heterosexual, then you might want to explore the chance that you are gay.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 6/6/2008 5:48:10 PM
Yes. I do, but it depends on your exact definition of submissive.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 44 (view)
 
No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/18/2008 3:41:00 PM
I'm not sure if you can take internet opinions with anymore than a grain of salt. All you get on forums is people that have an opinion on the matter for the most part, such as myself. I doubt if most people have strong feelings rejecting celibacy compared to how many support it via religion.

I would reject it on before mentioned rational grounds not out of any abhorrence. Now, if sexual issues were a significantly low priority in characteristics for a mate then I would likely be in favor since sex can complicate and emotionally mask the reality of a relationship. Things can get very confusing very quickly because of sex.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Why am I not getting anywhere?
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:56:07 PM
No. People can't really get past looks as a means of first impressions. I used to think they should, but am increasingly becoming convinced that such does serve a valid functional purpose.

It is a good argument against displaying all your information in your profile that it leaves little to talk about in the future. However, internet sites seem to create a channel surfing mentality that isn't as dominant in real world dating. If you don't generate a lot of interest quickly then you will not keep anyone's attention for long. The next profile is simply a click away.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 39 (view)
 
No sex outside marriage? what would you think?
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:49:55 PM
My thought would be that sex is a very big part of a romantic relationship with someone. It's importance determined by the importance of sex to a person, but it seems to be always important to some extent. Thus, you are leaving a large or atleast sizeable portion of your relationship as an unknown till you have commited to a person. I find this unacceptable as it opens up sources of friction in the future and may undermine the longivity of the relationship, which is supposed to be permanent with marriage.

Note: I don't accept that good sex is automatic with someone you love and have made assumptions concerning such in my analysis.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 59 (view)
 
from fat to thin
Posted: 3/29/2008 12:07:28 PM
How can anyone ever be sure someone won't leave them if they change? The OP will NEVER find a guy she can be 100% sure will stay with her if she gains that weight back. Nor if she went blind, was in a horrible accident/fire, or became asexual. You can only be sure of someone's attraction to you when you have witnessed them being attracted to you. There is NO true security in this, only faith and hope.

And the pregnancy thing... Are you kidding me? What man would leave a women carrying his child only because she gained weight? Didn't lose if afterwards and continued to gain..perhaps. Is this just conjecture? Unless a massive number of people told me that such had happened to them I refuse to believe that of humanity. Or perhaps statistical data?
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Carnage and despair in Iraq , an Amnesty International report
Posted: 3/28/2008 9:24:40 AM
Why do people think that violence between differing elements of Iraqi society will DECREASE if America becomes uninvolved with Iraq? Sure, there won't be violence between American soldiers and Iraqi's. However, there would continue to be esculating human rights violations and armed conflict until another country became involved again (Perhaps a country with a different agenda this time, such as Iran. ) or one cohesive group in Iraq gained dominance there. An example of such was Saddam.

The state of Iraq's economy was caused by the policies of containment before the invasion. I'm not a big fan of the choices the current American leadership has made, but it is certainly ridiculous to blame them for the situations caused by former American leadership or religious/social conflict. I am upset with the Iraq invasion because of how it is affecting America, not Iraq.

The stated political goal of the current occupation seems to be to decrease this violence and increase the Iraqi's standard of living while promoting a cohesive group rising to power which is friendly to the US and shares some of its social values. Classical liberal thought, ect.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 8 (view)
 
from fat to thin
Posted: 3/27/2008 11:26:48 PM
He is not COMPLETELY superficial and shallow. He is simply somewhat so. How much so is yet to be determined. Make no mistake, EVERYONE is somewhat superficial and shallow. I firmly believe that nobody can help this. Physical details are important to attraction and even how you emotionally feel about a person. Perhaps it is different for females, but for men it seems to be necessary.

Perhaps he is too shallow, in which case you should avoid him. Or maybe you no longer find him acceptable enough for you? That too isn't a bad thing. Basically, if you are interested in him now, then pursue that opportunity. If not, then don't do so. Base your choices on how you feel about him now.

I can understand the impulse of wanting to punish him for not finding you attractive before, but is that fair? Do you think he should have found you attractive before?

Enough of rum soaked rambling, my only point was that men Do have a strong correlation and connection between attraction and romantic feeling. Personally, I simply cannot be "In love" with someone that I am not especially attracted too.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Demise of America - lack of apprentices
Posted: 3/14/2008 6:09:09 PM
Manufacturing and technology were areas I ignored in studying history (Outside of their relation to military history.), but....I was under the impression that America only became a manufacturing giant based upon such things as divison of labor, exploiting our workers/children, and the vast surplus of natural resources compared to population.

It is always much easier for the followers to move forward than the trailblazer. Example: Part of the reason so much of the world jumped ahead of us with wireless communication was because we had invested so heavily into wiring up America. The people following behind can skip those painful growing stages and jump right into an established efficient process. They gain more from our work than we do.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 131 (view)
 
How long do most guys last?
Posted: 3/11/2008 10:15:25 PM
Depends. 15 minutes to a half an hour or until one of us wants to stop. Usually an hour or two. Anything past a half an hour and I'm not going to get off.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Would you still go to nightclubs if you had a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:55:51 PM
I don't go to night clubs except when friends badger me into it, and I am single. So...No, I wouldn't go except to dance with her. There are better places to dance. So, very unlikely.

Would I go to a tavern or pub still? Probably. I like bar food. I like cider on tap. I like sitting with friends without distractions.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 116 (view)
 
are some girls too caught up in looking for the perfect man?
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:52:46 PM
Sometimes I think they are. I suspect most women are more realistic than that, but they do have elevated expectations. My issue is not that people have too high expectations of others, men and women, but that they don't have such expectations and a feeling of responsability for themselves.

If anyone has read the European Dream, relate the American Dream to dating. Starts off with a feeling of destiny and a strong work ethic. "I deserve the perfect man and I am going to work hard to attract him, If not pursue him directly. " Subtract the work ethic. "I deserve the perfect man and I have faith that I deserve it as I am. "
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 535 (view)
 
Would you date someone who is on welfare?
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:44:13 PM
I have dated someone upon government assistance. It depends upon why they are doing so. But the older I get the less it becomes an acceptable option as fewer reasons become acceptable.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Why Didn't He Call? (discuss an article)
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:40:30 PM
I skimmed that book after an old girlfriend read it and started analyzing me based upon it. Some of her analysis was mildly accurate, but a lot ended up way off base. Not introducing her to my family and friends means that I am not that into her. No, it means I like to keep my life compartmentalized, and I don't want my mother involved in my love life. My friends, where some war buddies in town that had some habits she claimed not to approve of. My friends at college, where simply 4-5 hours away. It has some good points, but no explanation is universal.

As the examples presented abovc, there are many motivations for actions. The book assumed only one motivation. There are also many personalities, men are not all alike anymore than women are. The book again assumed a commonality in all men's behavior. I found it insulting as hell.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How Do you explain to a woman that you've never had sexy by age 36?
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:24:34 PM
Watch 40 Year Old Virgin? That's a serious reply.

Unless losing your virginity is special to you...I thought the suggestion to try to get it out of the way sounded like a reasonable idea to increase experience and confidence. I can't think of how you can do that without decieving someone, a friend with benefits, or prostitutes.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 509 (view)
 
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:16:28 PM
This is sort of a seperate remark, which is why I just didn't edit.

It seems like I am in situations like his repeatedly. I am interested in someone and care for them, but I am hesitant over certain qualities or behaviors that they have. What should I do?

1. Ignore those and decieve myself as to their importance?
2. Feel like an ass and bring up these touchy issues?
3. Abandon the relationship?

I've been a coward and opted for the last too often. I refuse to do the first. But nobody seems to find the second acceptable. Everyone seems to take it badly. On the contrary, I have yet to see a girl be honest and open herself. They opt for the first or last in my experience.

If there is no issues, then everything is perfect and you can just procede, but that just doesn't happen in the real world. If there are too many issues to overcome, then the relationship should probably be abandoned, but if there aren't many, shouldn't you work through them?
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 508 (view)
 
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:04:47 PM
But what love isn't conditional? That for your children. But even the love for siblings and parents can be mildly conditional.

You love someone for the qualities they have. I agree that it seems a bit shallow, but it seems short sighted to completely ignore a quality about another person because it is a sensitive subject.

Is it acceptable to tell someone they have to get a job or stop smoking/drinking/drugs to give them an engagement ring? Is it acceptable for her to lay spiritual conditions upon him for their marriage? If so, why is it different? For every explanation of why it could be you can point to the examples and find a parallel explanation that is also problematic. These things are acceptable because a person's qualities DO matter. Weight is just one more quality that is highly valued. In some cases too highly valued, but don't fool yourself into thinking it doesn't matter or shouldn't matter.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Blue Eyes: The hardest logic puzzle in the world
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:15:33 PM
I had to cheat and look it up. I may have an actual reply in a few days when I think my way through this.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Is philosophy an art or a science, and what is its importance?
Posted: 2/9/2008 10:00:36 AM
Philosophy in the past was an attempt to answer questions about the world using logic instead of appeals to supernatural means. Most of what was in the past philosophy has been broken off into their own disciplines: Physics, Psychology, Chemistry, Political Science, ect. This leaves behind the questions that legitimate "Science" won't touch with a 10 foot pole. Essentually...the questions that don't appear to be verifiable. Why are we here? Why shouldn't I shoot people for cutting me off? Do I have freewill?
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Claiming To Treat You Like A Princess Or Goddess
Posted: 1/27/2008 12:49:04 AM
Opposite issue with this topic. I distrust woman that WANT to be treated as a princess or goddess. It seems reasonably common.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Are we really this superficial and why do men help?
Posted: 1/27/2008 12:47:26 AM
"Well, this is off the top of my head, but maybe it is that men can look at a female in need of help like their mother or sister. Mostly she is a female who needs to be rescued even in some small way and they are happy to do the rescuing or feel it is their duty (just because a man feels it is his duty does not diminish the act of helping)."

According to Kantian Ethics that is actually the best of all reasons to help someone.

Yes, I believe the study is pretty accurate. I also believe there is usually a disparity between random actions and the convictions that people hold. Therefore, asking for accuracy on here is not likely to be very productive.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 2 (view)
 
AM I WRONG FOR TELLING MY FRIEND THE TRUTH , OR SHOULD I HAVE MIND MY OWN BUSINESS
Posted: 1/27/2008 12:38:44 AM
Pure speculation: A person’s emotions heavily influence how they view the world around them. She wants to be with him so much that any information that attacks that possibility must be rejected. She can either believe that things will work out with him and you are what she called you or that things won’t work out with him.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 49 (view)
 
sex on a 1st date
Posted: 1/27/2008 12:29:47 AM
Sadly...I have done so about everytime. I agree that it seems to mess up the possability of the relationship progressing in the future somehow.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 550 (view)
 
Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/19/2008 7:23:11 PM
No. I don't think it should be. How about talking someone into buying something not in their best interest? I certainly think this kind of behavior is low, but where would you stop with this kinda rational for criminality? And how could a country as over-legalized and full of rampant crime possibly deal with this issue? Could your local police force handle this volume of "Crime"? How would you even prove it? Promises of the heart cannot be reviewed later to see if the person was lying. They could have been sincere at the time.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Are there some types of careers that you simply don't click with dating wise?
Posted: 1/19/2008 7:15:22 PM
I'm curious how the conclusion that those careers are more likely to cheat came about...?
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 20 (view)
 
The Bam Theory....
Posted: 1/19/2008 7:08:14 PM
I have tried the friend theory with girls that I didn't feel "BAM" about and it didn't work for me. But that is also because I was, and still am, actually looking for that "BAM". I don't think the BAM thing is lust only, but it is extremely physically based and fickle. So it is probably more dangerous, but that is conjecture on my part.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Read this and......
Posted: 11/16/2007 5:29:59 PM
Sounds like game playing. How does this Idea work when applied to everyone? You date four guys and let them know it is essentually a competition. They do the same. So..do you attempt to compete for the attention of all four guys to attract them away from the other three woman for each guy. Impossible situation. At some point you have to give precedence to your attention to one or two guys instead of four. They will do the same. This is essentually what is already happening at a faster rate.

Or you could put out no effort for any man. If they want you they can put forth the effort. You're worth it, right? Wrong. That kind of thinking is obviously flawed. Isn't the man of your "dreams" worth it to? Isn't every other woman worth it? Keeping our options open is well and good, until it causes us to actually interfere with those options.
 Mandarbgrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 46 (view)
 
rape or just stupidity?
Posted: 10/7/2007 5:18:22 PM

It's happened to me once. A woman I'd been talking to decided she wanted to have sex with me. We started,and the minute she had an orgasm she said,"Ok,that's enough." What choice didI have? I got dressed and went home. I think she was testing me to see how I'd handle it,and I never called her again.


This brings up an interesting point. Most everyone agrees on the "No means No" and sex ends when she decides it does point, but that doesn't actually change it from being a #^!# move on her part.

In the above example, if the situation was reversed we would certainly have a few choice words to say about the guy who got up and left after getting his rocks off. Obviously there are some double standards involved in this issue.

On another note, I find it odd that BDSM is brought up so much. It is a more extreme example, there are plenty of non-BDSM situations to reference that complicate this issue.
 
Show ALL Forums