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 Author Thread: The fears of being alone
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 45 (view)
 
The fears of being alone
Posted: 5/5/2009 9:52:06 PM
I have just always hated being alone. Sadly my fears of being alone forever have become a reality.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Drug czar gives warning Federal official calls marijuana growers dangerous terrorists
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:51:30 PM
This is one of the craziest things I have ever heard....
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 22 (view)
 
made mistake of lifetime
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:06:04 PM
For your own sanity and peace of mind, you need to move on...she already has.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Your Most Romantic Date Ever
Posted: 5/30/2008 12:41:16 PM
it hasn't happened yet, but I am looking forward to the day it does...
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/13/2008 11:48:26 AM

I am looking for genuine person because I'm lonely.


I am not trying to be mean or anything, but as a still married woman, you are not going to be able to find a genuine person. Most people who mess around with married people are just out to have fun and in the end you are the one who is going to be hurt.

I say get the divorce. I am divorced myself and am now just starting to get back into dating. If you are not happy in the situation you are in now, you're not going to be happy in any other relationship until you get your life straightened out.

Once your divorce is final, date to your hearts content. It's a lot of fun, but only if you do it the right way and that means to get your life in order first. Don't get serious with any guy until you find the one you feel is 'right' for you. This way you don't find yourself back in the situation you are in now.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 26 (view)
 
The Ex shows up
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:21:44 PM
That is way over the top. It sounds as if your fiance has some insecurity issues that he needs to deal with.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 355 (view)
 
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/12/2008 4:17:40 PM
Yes I have and with no regrets. As long as a person treats you good, I don't see where their having a high IQ would be a problem.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Is This Considered Cheating ???
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:43:01 PM
I would consider that to be cheating.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Ohio man jailed for his daughter not passing the GED.
Posted: 5/12/2008 3:39:18 PM
I don't live in Ohio, but I do find this to be very disturbing.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Is age really only a number
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:46:36 PM
I used to think it was just a number, but then I got my wake up call when I dated a 49 year old guy when I was in my early 20's. He expected me to be right up on his level and when I tried to explain to him that I hadn't lived long enough in my 20+ years that he had experienced in 50 years, he wouldn't hear me out. We ended up breaking up because we had too many differences.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 748 (view)
 
Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 5/2/2008 6:58:36 AM

I have a question for the short people on this thread - t why would you want someone who doesn't want you? It seems like you're trying to convince them to like you despite a lack of physical attraction.


Lack of physical attraction? I have known some guys who were shorter than me (I am 5'6" tall) and they were very attractive. Just because a guy is short does not make him unattractive.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Mike's Hard Lemonade - heard of it?
Posted: 5/1/2008 3:47:57 PM

Could it be possible that he had never heard of "Mike's Hard Lemonade?' I shake my head at this, who has not heard of this drink.


I had never heard of it before reading this post, so I have to say that it is possible that he didn't know that it contained liquor.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 613 (view)
 
Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:53:33 PM
I don't judge guys by there hight or any other physical feature. I go by personality. I have had tall boyfriends and short boyfriends and there hight was never a problem for me.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 142 (view)
 
dating an overweight person?
Posted: 6/8/2007 12:12:02 PM
I am more overweight than most people. Due to health problems beyond my control I got up to 750 pounds. I told my ex-husband the day he left me that I would lose the weight and show him. When I first started out on my weight loss journey it was to show him, but all that has changed. I am doing it for me and no one else now. As of this morning I now weigh 489 pounds. I have lost 261 pounds and I know I will make it to goal. I have come to far to turn back now.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Am I the jerk or was she? My worst first date...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:35:57 AM
I don't think you were a jerk at all. She was using you. I was always taught that when a woman goes out on a date, most of her attention should be focused on the guy she is out with and vise versa. The whole purpose of a date is for two people to spend time together and get to know one another.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
are there women out there that are TRULY DECENT?
Posted: 1/27/2007 4:53:50 PM
I would rather have a guy who is poor and showers me with love than a rich man who showers me with gifts because to get all the money to buy all that stuff, he would have to put in a lot of hours of work and that would quality time away from the relationship.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Moving to another country.......
Posted: 1/14/2007 8:33:26 AM
I would never give up my US citizenship, especially for someone I don't know. What would happen if things didn't work out? I would be alone in another country and my friends and family would still be here in the US.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
RED Flag or not???
Posted: 1/13/2007 6:46:12 AM
This reminds me of when I first started getting on the net. One night I was surfing the net and minding my own business. I got an invite to view some guys webcam through instant messenger. There was no hello or even a warning for what I was about to see. I clicked yes. The guy was laying on his bed completely naked. I told him off and told him that most women do not want to see that and I found it totally disrespectful that he would go around showing his naked body off to women without even talking to them first to see if that was what they wanted. He said I was right and promised never to do it again. A few nights later I was on messenger again, but under a different screen name (I have one for personal use and one for business) and the same fool sends an invite for me to view his webcam. Still I didn't even get a hello or anything from him. I clicked accept to see if he was true to his word of never doing it again. He wasn't. Again he was laying on his bed naked. I didn't bother saying anything to him and I blocked him.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Taking a girl out on a date do they even happen anymore
Posted: 1/12/2007 10:41:10 PM

You dated Mr El Cheapo? There was right there, a red flag not to marry him. How can he eat in front of you and not share??!!!!
This is the first time I hear of such - most men are certainly not that way and will take care of you especially when you dont have a dime (in the bank:) ).


He's that, plus he only thought of himself. While I was married to him he said he needed to go to the store. I asked to to pick me up some deodorant. He said he would and left. When he returned, he took out five scratchers and they were all losing tickets. He tossed them into the trash. I asked him if he remembered to get my deodorant. He said he decided not to get it because we didn't have enough money. He would have if he hadn't have bought the scratchers that went in the trash.

Another time he was going to wal-mart to get something for me. When he got there, he saw a computer game he wanted and so he used the money to buy it instead.

When Valentines Day came around, I bought him flowers and chocolates. He threw a grocery bag at me. I opened it to find a card he hadn't bothered writing in or putting in the envelope, a small box of chocolates and three or four fake roses. I found out my mom who is on social security and a fixed income had paid for the stuff because he had blown all his money on stuff for himself and he never stopped to think about buying anything for me for Valentines Day. Then he couldn't even figure out why I was mad at him.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 39 (view)
 
WOMEN....Are you afraid to settle down with a Military Man?
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:38:53 PM
I have never dated a guy who is in the military, but if I met one and I really liked him, I wouldn't shy away from him. I would do my best to try to make it work the way I would with any other guy in a different profession.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Taking a girl out on a date do they even happen anymore
Posted: 1/12/2007 2:29:18 PM
When I was dating my ex-husband, he never paid (or even offered to pay) when we went out on dates. I had to have my own money to pay my own way (even after we got engaged). If we ended up stopping somewhere to get something to eat, if I had no money, I went without and he ate in front of me. He never even offered to share. I have been divorced for close to six years now and I haven't dated anyone since my ex-husband. I am just looking for friends now. I am old fashion in a lot of ways, so I am holding out for a guy who is the same and holds the same values as me.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Anyone LOST a friend over POF? I'm bewildered!
Posted: 1/12/2007 10:31:14 AM

I know I could never replace her but where is the friend that you can tell eachother everything... and anything without passing judgement and your just there for one another?


I wish I knew the answer to that one myself. I had a best friend in Junior High I was close to. My family moved me from Utah to California and I never saw or heard from her again. Her dad was in the Air Force, and right before my family and I moved, her family was talking about how there was talk that they were going to transfer her dad to another base somewhere else. I am getting ready to start training to become a private investigator, so maybe someday I will find her.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
RED Flag or not???
Posted: 1/12/2007 10:08:30 AM
Usually when all a guy talks about is sex, it is a sign that all they are looking for is to get into a woman's pants, not love. Just talk to him and tell him you don't like him talking to you that why. If he doesn't stop, then you'll have to decide if you want a relationship based on love or one that is base on just sex. If you're looking for love, based on what you posted here, you more than likely won't be getting it from him.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Is there a good reason not to date someone who is bipolar?
Posted: 1/11/2007 9:05:00 PM
I know I wouldn't be able to handle dating any one with bipolar. I know several people who are and they don't get treatment for it...they think they are perfectly fine. and from what I have observed, it would take some one who is very strong emotionally to be able to handle it because they have their good days and they have their bad days.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 148 (view)
 
The REALISM of Southern Charm...........
Posted: 1/11/2007 5:44:43 PM
OP, this is news to me. I don't mean any disrespect to anyone from the south, but my mom is from the south and she has warned me against southern men. I am the type of person that judges people as an individual, and not a group and then decide from what I know about them if I like them or not. Since I live so far away from the south, I have never had any experience with men from the south to know if what my mom has told me is true or not.

I actually like the southern accent. My mom speaks with one from time to time at home, but for the most part she has lost it. She told me that when she first moved here to the west, she was teased and people ran her down because of her accent, so she had to learn to talk without it.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 31 (view)
 
A girl wants to go really slow?
Posted: 1/11/2007 4:11:11 PM
When I say I want to take it slow it means that I want to start out as just friends and not rush into anything (I got my heart broke doing that in the past) and take my time to make sure he is 'the one' before jumping into anything to serious. It is also a way for me to make sure he's really in it for love and not just in it for sex.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Is being alone hard for you?
Posted: 1/10/2007 10:54:35 PM
At one point it was hard for me to be alone. I used to obsess over finding a man for a relationship and I was depressed because it wasn't happening. Now I only look for friends and I know that someday, out of all the friends I am making, I will find 'the one' that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Anyone LOST a friend over POF? I'm bewildered!
Posted: 1/10/2007 8:32:56 PM
There will probably be a day when she realizes what a creep she chose to be with and she'll miss your friendship. She'll regret choosing him over you. If it were me, I don't think I would trust her enough to be her friend again.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How soon is too soon to exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 1/10/2007 7:30:35 PM

I told him I don't give my number out that fast - no cell phone, just a land line and I have a teen son who lives here too. I was willing to meet at Starbucks for coffee before work later this week, I just wouldn't agree to give him my number.


Why would you agree to meet up for coffee with him, but not talk to him on the phone? I have a rule that I always talk to a person on the phone before I meet them in person. By hearing their voice you can get a better feel for who they are than when they are typing words in IM. I am glad I have this rule too because there was a guy I was talking with in IM who seemed really nice, but once we were on the phone, just the sound of his voice sounded pretty creepy. I sensed some psychological problems hearing his voice that I didn't detect while chatting through instant messages. In my opinion, I feel people should not only get to know a person online, but on the phone as well before agreeing to meet up in person.

If you don't talk to the person on the phone, you never know, but you could be take to someone of the same sex and not know it. I have heard of it happening.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 52 (view)
 
am I a dick for doing this...
Posted: 1/10/2007 6:22:31 PM
Yes, it is about diet. The physiology of a human being is pretty straightforward when it comes to energy consumption and storage. Metabolism can vary for a number of reasons but the basic mechanism of metabolism is the same regardless of rate. Ignorance of excess calories consumed is the main cause of obesity. Counting calories to limit intake is a certain method for losing extra fat.


I would have to disagree with your statement to a certain extent. I am far from being thin. I dieted and exercised for years and I saw no results. In fact, I gained weight. I found out a little over a year ago that I was born with a condition. I had to have treatments and with the treatments (not diet and exercise) I lost over 100 pounds.

Before the treatments I could not lose. When I was a teenager, I ran track everyday and I weighed over two hundred pounds and continued gaining. When I was 22 years old I spent over seven months in a nursing home. While there, I was put on a strict diet and I exercised daily with a physical therapist. There was no way I could have consumed too many calories. All my food was prepared and brought to me. I had no access to any other food. I still gained.

As for the op. You must not really care for the woman you are with or you would care about her as a whole for the person she is. Another thing, you stated you feel you are a better person because you have lost 50 pounds (don't get me wrong, I think it is wonderful that you were able to lose it because it couldn't have been easy). Losing weight doesn't make anyone a better person. In order for anyone to become a better person, they would have to make changes on the inside. Outside appearance doesn't have anything to do with how a person is on the inside.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
When do you tell? Or should you even tell?
Posted: 1/10/2007 11:23:34 AM
I say be honest and up front about because if you wait until it is serious and when you finally reveal it and the guy decides that isn't something he can't handle, chances are you will end up with a broken heart.

I have a secret myself that isn't anything I prefer airing to the whole world. I have waited to tell a guy until he brings up the possibility of meeting where my secret could the become obvious. I have had some guys I really liked stop talking to me because it was more than they felt they could handle.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
help mneeded with the girl/guy thing .....from ladies perspective
Posted: 1/10/2007 9:28:53 AM
Maybe they are like me and they are just unaware that you are interested in more. I figured out too late that a guy was interested in me as more than a friend. I met him online and after talking online for months and once on the phone (we live in the same town, but we are both shy) we agreed to meet in person. My birthday was coming up, so I invited him to my birthday party and he came. I hadn't seen a picture of him prior to meeting him, but he was really good looking. We saw each other from time to time after that first meeting, but just as friends (or so I thought). Several months after that first meeting I mentioned to him that my ex-boyfriend had gone out of his way to call me and tell me happy valentines day. He got upset over that, exploded with anger and then left. I couldn't figure out what was going on and I asked my mom who had witnessed the whole thing what his problem was. She asked me if I was so blind that I couldn't tell he was in love with me and that he was after more than friendship with me. I didn't believe it and told her she was wrong. He came back a little while later and told me he was going to go before he said something to me that he would regret later. Almost a year after we met I decided to test the waters a little with him. I told him that I had feelings for him, but I wasn't going to act on them. He told me to tell him something he didn't already know. I had added the last part hoping he would make a move, but he never did. I only talked to him once after that. He promised to come to my birthday party. It would have been one year since we met in person. He never showed up. I was hurt and a part of me still is to this day. He never gave me an explanation. He just removed himself from my life. I have tried calling him a couple times and left voice messages, but he never returned my calls. He goes on a popular networking website and I contacted him on there once just to tell him I felt he owed me some sort of explanation. He deleted the message and did not respond back, yet he still keeps me on his friends list. It has been two years since we last talked. I am in the process of moving on, but it is hard not knowing why if he was so interested in me, he didn't make a move after I admitted I had feelings for him. He is still single and has not found anyone else, so it makes no sense to me.

Maybe you should try being more blunt and just come right out and say that you're hoping for and let it be known you are interested in more than just friendship with her.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Would you date someone who is separated?
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:53:16 AM
I would never ever date a man who is only separated. Being friends with him is another story. I wouldn't let it go past friendship though until after he was divorced and had the final papers to prove it. I know how I felt when my ex-husband started dating other women before he filed for divorce (he waited about two years to file after he left) and how I felt when a close friend of mine I had gone to school with decided to go to school with decided to cheat on my husband and thought that since me and my husband were separated it was perfectly fine for her to cheat with him (we have not spoken since because I felt betrayed by her, especially after she helped my ex-husband steal all my money out of my bank account and I had to fight to get it all back) I would never put another woman through that.

You need to be careful with your heart. If he is only separated from his wife and has not filed for divorce, there is always the chance he could go back to her and it will be you who gets hurt in the end.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Polite rejection - how soon after first date?
Posted: 1/8/2007 8:06:50 PM
If it were me I would be polite and go through with the date, trying to have fun in the process, but then at the end of evening when it came time to saying our goodbyes, I would be honest with him and nicely tell him that I wasn't feeling it and that it just wasn't going to work.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 1221 (view)
 
Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all?
Posted: 1/8/2007 7:44:19 PM
I met my ex-husband online and he had no pic, so I had no idea what he looked like before we met. I have also talked to someone else on another dating website and he doesn't have a pic on his profile either, but once we started talking on yahoo messenger he shared pics of himself with me as well as let me see him on his webcam (fully clothed of course). He is the hottest guy I have seen on the net. Even better looking than my ex-husband. He is a really great friend who gives me advice when I need it and we have talked on the phone. Some of our conversations have gone from late afternoon until about five or six in the morning. We have plans to meet, but just as friends. I'm still looking for the one, but I want someone who wouldn't mind being friends first and seeing where things lead from there and taking things slow.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Important question
Posted: 1/8/2007 7:34:58 PM
If I had reason to believe that the person was lying to me, I would have a background investigation done before I allowed myself to get too involved with them.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Has anyone here given up or thinking about it?
Posted: 11/3/2006 11:48:37 PM
Yes and I have. Right now I am only looking for friends. I have been hurt so much in the past that the thought of getting involved with any man scares me. I was used and I wanted true love and never got it. Maybe someday, but I just don't see it happening for me anytime in the near future.
 nice_shy_girl
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 60 (view)
 
how many emails do you girls get?
Posted: 11/2/2006 7:21:06 AM
I haven't gotten any emails for awhile, but that is fine with me because I am moving to Maine in less than a year from now.
 
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