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 Author Thread: First dates
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 45 (view)
 
First dates
Posted: 4/1/2013 4:58:40 AM
i have found this to happen alot also..even sweats to a dinner date ..as she just came from gym! I go in with no expectations anymore..if they care about themselves & have half a brain, they will dress appropiately.I find alot of the more attractive dates (dress down) on a first meet, i think its beacuse they want to make sure there are no 'sexual' inneuendos being given off.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Bedtime rule Question for men
Posted: 3/28/2013 6:20:47 AM
i see a cat fight brewing here..why not both of you take off your clothes and do some mud-wrestling? My money is on the OP, i just wish she'd read my comments (which are spot-on) instead of getting all wrapped up with one female poster.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 3/28/2013 5:04:23 AM
at least you had phone sex..but really..u knew she was a (package deal)....and obviously you didnt discuss what she was going to do with the kids before the date or ..while you guys were on your (date)...i think the blame on this one is 50-50. Next time dont let the (little man) cloud your (hopefully) common sense.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Bedtime rule Question for men
Posted: 3/27/2013 5:09:50 AM
first of all..give up the cigs cause that pretty little face you have now..will be all wrinkles in 10 yrs.It may be the nicotine that is keeping you up late at night.You also probably drink alot of tea or coffee as well...most smokers do.Bottom line is..get off the addictive bad habits and you may find your schedule is alot more conducive to your husbands.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 48 (view)
 
I Chose The Wrong Guy
Posted: 3/24/2013 7:27:28 AM
u picked the bad-boy over the nice guy..ur loss..do him a favor and move on.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Chatting with a man that says he has been stalked a few times.
Posted: 3/24/2013 6:30:53 AM
its happened to me..only once though..but it did scare the heck out of me! pop-in's are not that uncommon..thats not necessarily stalking..thats just checking up on someone (insecurity).
The one with the blanket thingy..find out more details.Hard to tell from the limited amount of info.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Called by an ex's name
Posted: 3/24/2013 6:27:50 AM
as long as it wasnt during sex..i'm kewl with it..Listen we're human beings..we have history..and sometimes we make mistakes.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 108 (view)
 
Whats with the fear of the words I wanna get to know you
Posted: 3/21/2013 12:23:40 AM
maybe you should date older, more mature gentlemen.They will most likely take their time and s-e-x- is not at the top of our priority list.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Positive date.
Posted: 3/21/2013 12:21:33 AM
as they say, dont look a gift horse in the eye..keep on banging until you can bang no more..lol
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
does she really like me???
Posted: 3/19/2013 9:23:58 AM
she started to bang someone else..ur out..time to move on.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Why Are All My Dates Financially Broke?
Posted: 3/18/2013 5:01:54 AM
pretty typical of pof dates..i find either emotional issues or financial issues. Try dating outside of pof..its 1 source..but not the only source.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 48 (view)
 
How best to say not interested after meet...
Posted: 3/17/2013 7:10:13 AM
doesnt matter what b.s. excuse you give the guy..just be brutally honest..dont be wishy-washy or give some long drawn-out excuses..the truth, the whole truth..and nothing but the truth is sooo much better than dancing around the issue.
Its ok to have high standards in the beginning..but let me tell you this..first of all..you're ok..but not all that..so get down off your high horse. Once you have gone out with lets say 30-40 men..and you see what you are working with, and believe me..its doesnt get any better, i think you will lower your (artificially high) standards and give a guy a chance beyond the first date.
You are too caught up with the 'immediate chemistry'..thing..and its clouding your decision making.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Question for Men! Help...
Posted: 3/17/2013 7:02:01 AM
u didnt bang him already..did you?
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
A women's intuition....
Posted: 3/17/2013 6:57:45 AM
he's basically a bang-buddy..and obviously you havent had the 'exclusive talk' yet..maybe its time now? lol..
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 126 (view)
 
How to gently and respectfullly decline a date...
Posted: 3/15/2013 7:13:44 AM
put on your grownup panties and just tell the truth..sometimes the truth hurts but its better that than to be wishy-washy like most women or worse, string us along for free meals and such only to say..geez, i'm interested in someone else.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 119 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/15/2013 6:52:07 AM
thank you Ms. Iceni..thats what i thought..thank you for being the voice of reason.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Dating today... coffee dates and text messages
Posted: 3/14/2013 10:12:47 AM
i rarely if ever do coffee dates..i figure if we have emailed back & forth several times..talked on the phone..texted..etc..and there seems to be some common things and potential chemistry, then at least i can give that person an hour of my time..and do lunch or brunch, or apps and drinks.If its not a match..then its not a match..but i dont go out on 10 dates a week..i'm selective and maybe do 1 date every 2 weeks.
A initial meetup? i might text. A real date- never. Alot depends on the circumstances leading up to meeting. In my age group most of us arent really into texting for hours upon hours.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 102 (view)
 
URGENT.. Date in 1 hours. Should I go?
Posted: 3/14/2013 5:19:43 AM
i just hope you plan on banging him....please dont string him along.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 2:31:27 PM
have u banged him yet?/
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/13/2013 7:47:40 AM
she called it a meet..i call it a date, for the reasons above.the 3+ is 3 meals, drinks, and in one case a movie after.Fleron, you have a very sarcastic tone with me. It's not helping..i'm all for you taking her side..but really whats the point?
This relationship is over..along with this convo.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 107 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/12/2013 1:51:00 PM
to clarify 'fleron'..the first ;meet' lasted 6 hours and included dinner & drinks..(we closed the place) so yes..i consider that a 'date', even though it was a first 'meet'..If anybody sounds bitter- its you.The pathetic comment came out of nowhere..she knows she screwed up on that one.Obviously, you havent read all my comments either as i wanted to meet at starbucks..for this 'closure'..she decided to cancel and make it a text. You are soo off-base fleron about the pants comment too, like one of the posters said..if sex is all i wanted i would just go out & pay for it without all the hassles or the (3+) free meals
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/12/2013 5:59:16 AM
they werent snide little remarks..they were facts. I'm not one to just fade into the sunset and disappear like so many others..even after 3 dates, i'm going to get closure of some sort and try to talk it out. Many times there are miscommunications. Did you happen to see the part where she called me 'pathetic'? There's nothing to be bitter about after only 3 dates..i just want to learn & grow from this and every experience.BTW, this coming from a woman that stands 32'-9"..plulleaseee sahara!
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Wine Service / Corkage Fee
Posted: 3/12/2013 5:13:20 AM
not sure i would bring a bottle of wine on a first date..she might like beer or liquor, or not that type of wine. I'm pretty flexible as to taste and usually order a bottle if she's drinking wine, as u get 4-1/3 glasses per bottle and its usually a bit cheaper than by the glass.
I agree that the corkage charge is outta whack..some places charge $20-$25. I dont frequent those places, however i do know of places that on certain nights its 1/2 price wine night (usually a tues/wed), both by the glass and by the bottle. I am a bit of a connoisseur and like good wine..cheap stuff gives me a headache and just plain tastes bad.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Does this keep happening to anyone else?
Posted: 3/12/2013 5:01:11 AM
quit banging 'em on the first date..that might help.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 74 (view)
 
What To Do If You Are Ever Stood Up...........
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:24:53 PM
SEE MY POST UNDER..'ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP PLAN'
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/11/2013 10:15:51 AM
if i wanted her...i'd still be with her, no? trust me i dont want biotches.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
You don't look like your photos
Posted: 3/11/2013 5:06:11 AM
anytime a woman says you dont look like your photos..(w/o saying you look better)..its always a neg.
She obviously wasnt all that much into you.Are you really 6' tall cause it doesnt really look like it? more like 5'8".i'm just sayin'.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/11/2013 4:59:56 AM
update: i ended it over some texting (not my idea)last night. She got kinda nasty and called me pathetic. She denied that she wasnt into me..swears i got it all wrong..bla..bla..bla.
Anyways, its done..stick a fork in it.Thanks for your help guys & girls.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/10/2013 12:08:24 PM
listen red..most of these poster were off-base..not on purpose..but because they lacked certain information..so i tried to clarify the situation. For the poster that was spot-on (chattykathie), i applaud her. How's that for 'tude? LOL.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/10/2013 10:08:58 AM
my 'gut' is usually right 99% of the time. She can date others..no biggie..but believe me..if a woman is truly into a guy..she dumps all the others and yes..this is known after 2-3 dates.(probably more like 2-3 minutes) .its called 'chemistry".If you read almost all the posts from women..its all about the chemistry..if you dont have the chemistry..u get friend-zoned or worse.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 69 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:33:16 AM
Update: she cancelled our tues. coffee meeting.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/9/2013 6:54:18 AM
listen ladies..these forums are mostly fun & games..i dont take them too seriously..and in reality..even though i post 'just bang her'..it actually fits about 95% of the posters questions on here. I rarely expose my dating life on here and since one can never really know all thats going on..you can only make assumptions..best guesses, and the like.With that being said, i do like this girl, and it is real life happening to me right now, so i dont see the need to do some sort of reconnaissance on my past posts..its not relevant tyvm.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Is he not into me?
Posted: 3/9/2013 4:48:18 AM
ok..OP..what happened? did u bang his brains out?
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
After 5 dates, was i right or in the wrong?
Posted: 3/9/2013 4:14:58 AM
she may have been wild in the sack..i would have at least banged her once.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/8/2013 8:38:52 PM
geez..had like 3 paragraphs written but had forgot to sign in and now its gone. To summarize, i'm meeting her for coffee on tues. 10am..(she's busy all weekend) will keep you posted. Thanks for all your input. My gut feeling is she is dating several others, not that into me, and i should (and will) move on.
Its weird though that a lady thats not that into me..would continue to go on dates with me. (I know free meals and such) but i dont think she is a freeloader, she is just taking a break. She raised 3 kids (now in their 20's) all by herself without child support and worked her butt off.
I guess she doesnt feel the bells and whistles and instant chemistry most of you ladies crave.I've had that..and feel it tends to burn out quickly..and prefer a slow burn..which lasts much longer..
oh well..we will soon find out..thanks again.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Is he not into me?
Posted: 3/8/2013 7:49:22 PM
not sure..i'm mid 50's..and i'd bang ya..lol..
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/8/2013 4:48:09 AM
easy chatty-kathy..she's not 'on here'. No need to go into my post history and jump to conclusions..most of that is just joking around anyways..stick to the topic at hand.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/8/2013 4:25:27 AM
wow..i didnt expect these responses..however, if she was just using me for free meals and a good time, why wouldnt she try to continue to keep up this farce? Why not lead me on and pretend to like me or something?
My question was not really is she using me..but that was she ever 'into me"? Am i expecting too much after 3 dates, that she initiate a phone call, a text, an email, etc.? Also, what should i say (in a nice way) to end this charade? BTW, not that it matters to you guys..but she was extremely attractive and as such, i probably gave her the benefit of the doubt for wayy too long....lol.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Question for the ladies...
Posted: 3/8/2013 4:02:17 AM
Ok, so have gone on 3 official dates with this lady including 1 meetup date over the span of 3 weeks. She seemed enthusiastic at the begining and i thought there was mutual chemistry. However, i noticed that i always initiate things..whether its an email, text, phone call, or date. She was always very responsive and positive but we never got past anything more than hugs and kisses on the lips.(no tongue), which i also initiated.
I like to be demonstrative and give PDA's (public displays of affection) and like i said...she was receptive but never initiated anything. I have now let 5 days pass and have not texted, emailed, or called. I havent heard a 'peep' from her, nothing, nada, zilch. Was i just a dinner/movie/dancing date for her to fill in some boring times? Or have I been 'friend-zoned' from the very beginning? Was she just not 'into' me?
At the end of the day, I'm not one to just fade off into the sunset..if she's simply not into me..fine..but i'm going to call her in the next day or two to discuss. Just wanted to know what you ladies think happened.
A little background on her..she's 46, she doesnt have a job,(was a dental hygentist) , doesnt have her own place, sleeps between her mom's place and 2 other girlfriends places, yet drives a nice car. She said she is taking a break from working hard since she was 18, and will start looking for a part-time job in May (dental field).
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 52 (view)
 
what constitutes being needy?
Posted: 3/7/2013 5:12:40 AM
alot of women think that because you bang them..that you are in a relationship. Sweetheart this was just a FWB in his eyes..you obviously fell a little harder.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Question for the men...
Posted: 3/7/2013 5:01:13 AM
as long as she isnt just a tease..i'm down with it..:-)
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
appearances
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:04:37 AM
Not sure about the makeup & heels..but would it kill ya to smile a little?
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
I need a womans help here
Posted: 3/5/2013 5:35:22 AM
listen..feel lucky you got to bang an 18 yr. old....seems like u2 are co-dependant..get some prof. help and move on. You told her it had to stop..now U stop!
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 46 (view)
 
ring on right hand
Posted: 3/5/2013 4:23:27 AM
i guess you could always 'ask' them, no? Sometimes the answer is sooo simple!! lol..
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Exclusive on the first date?
Posted: 3/5/2013 4:20:17 AM
are u gonna bang him eventually? then why not be exclusive now?
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
 
dating and meeting other ppl
Posted: 2/26/2013 3:05:07 AM
if you get the chance to bang her this weekend..just DO IT!
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
dating and meeting other ppl
Posted: 2/25/2013 10:29:49 AM
have you banged her yet? if not..then you've been friend-zoned.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Need advice, really hit it off with a girl but it ended suddenly.
Posted: 2/25/2013 4:54:42 AM
you should have banged her on date #2...now the opportunity is lost. I'm afraid you're going to have to move on..you've been 'friend-zoned'.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
 
my boyfriend takes fetish to a whole new level. please help
Posted: 2/24/2013 6:53:51 AM
I would need to see your feet in a pair of stilettos to make a fair assessment. :-) Please provide pics.
 gourmetchef2012
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Getting Blown Off vs. Reasonable Excuse
Posted: 2/24/2013 6:40:20 AM
unless there is a death in the family..or they come down with a mysterious illness..its 99% of the time a blow-off. Saying sorry doesnt really 'cut the mustard' in my book. If they dont immediately reschedule is another clue its a blow-off. I tell chicks before we meet that 'cold feet, sweaty palms, and nervousness are are perfectly normal and shouldnt cause you to bail. LOL..
Also, see my post under 'backup plans'.
 
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