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 Author Thread: Sent message deletions
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Sent message deletions
Posted: 1/9/2012 7:21:42 AM
I send out quite a large number of messages and frequently delete my sent messages from that tab because I know what I said to people. I was wondering if my deleting sent messages affected another persons inbox. If I delete a sent message will it still show in my intended recipients inbox?

Thanks, Lang
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Eye Contact During Sex?
Posted: 1/6/2012 12:52:39 PM
Prolonged eye contact is awkward and distracting for me too, especially when I imagine it with a FWB. I just try to feel everything, lose myself, and enjoy the moment...awkward staring would crack me up too. If I have to think about sex there's no point...and may I just say..."faking, ew."
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 36 (view)
 
how quickly would you consider moving in..getting married.
Posted: 1/6/2012 12:38:32 PM
If everything feels right, I am in my right mind (not being impulsive), and both my partner and I have our lives under control I am not going to rush anything. I feel like everything in my life happens exactly at the right time.

Clearly I don't have the experience that age provides but I have a rational mind...and never fail to look at things from various POV's. For me there will be a time when everything lines up perfectly, that seems to be the case in the original OP.

Best of luck.

All in good time.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
do rebounds heal hearts?
Posted: 1/6/2012 6:34:53 AM
I feel like my rebounds just masked the pain of dealing with the throws of an ended relationship. I now refrain from rebounding now no matter how devastating the break-ups are. I feel like I owe the next person I meet the healthiest form of myself and it is my job to see that I have all of my ducks in a row when I enter a new relationship.

They did allowed me to "come down softer" so-to-speak but all the while I was wrecking the relationships I was getting into and as you put it it was..."--like it ended before it started."

I could kick myself for screwing up with my ex- but...shit happens. I learned from it and moved forward. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Ex-girlfriend partying
Posted: 1/6/2012 6:18:20 AM
Damn dude that's rough. It seems she doesn't know how to conduct herself when she's been drinking. Clearly not a HFA as her understanding of social courtesy breaks down as she becomes increasingly intoxicated.

It seems she is trying to make you jealous, but it could be because she trusts you and despite how rude that shit is, still feels responsible for what she's doing. But if you text her back and shit she might just be playing with you.

My plan would be to just ignore the texts and not respond at all...which you may be doing anyway. Keep a stiff upper-lip man. I understand how you feel and empathize with you.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Would This Bother You?
Posted: 1/6/2012 6:02:35 AM
It would bother me and throw up flags. I understand that no one is perfect, but at the same time I am not going to enter a relationship without first having established a good amount of trust with that person. The point where trust hasn't yet reached a reasonable level is just gonna have to stay the "friend" stage.

I guess it'd have to come down to how she feels about all the cheating. Her response would tell me all I needed to know. If she feels that cheating is normal she may have just been desensitized to it. If she feels apathetic towards the issue she may just have adopted an "Oh well...there's nothing I can do about other people's lives" kind of attitude. If she feels hurt by it all then I would expect clingy-ness, the possibility of jealousness, and irritability in her doubting whether or not I am lying about my activities.

All responses would be normal to me in a behavioral sense...but as others on the post have said...if she isn't getting help then it's not worth pursuing.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Been out of this too long!!
Posted: 1/4/2012 7:00:34 PM

All guys want is for you to be who you are and not try to be something they want.


Insert "healthy" between ALL and GUYS.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
College Dating is it okay?
Posted: 1/4/2012 9:25:07 AM
Ya'll are terrible...lmao. You know what she meant. Answer her question or vote for deletion.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Collage Dating is it okay?
Posted: 1/4/2012 9:11:59 AM
I went to collEGE. I was a Resident Assistant (RA) and have seen/heard many different sides to "the game." CollEGE for many is a time for experimentation. The preoccupation with studies (for those that go for the reason of learning) stifles the need for a relationship. For some boys, meeting a girl that is just a **** buddy that carries on the same status as high school.

Some MEN want a relationship however. Some relationships form in college, many fail. If I were in collEGE dating an older woman I would not want a "study date"...I don't study at all. I want a woman who handles herself and respects me handling myself.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 92 (view)
 
boyfriend still goes on pof
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:36:45 AM
That would raise the question "what is he looking for." For me...as soon as I start talking to someone I deactivate my account.

Relationships start with trust. The question to ask is "Can I honestly trust him now?"
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 52 (view)
 
In regards to marriage
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:27:32 AM
Archangel:

To answer you question OP, I would marry the lady that God would want me to be with.



And how would you discern this.. ?


Obviously modern day prophets...unless of course it is in the Bible.

Sorry to bash but that statement is the exact kind of reason I don't buy into religion.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:17:29 AM
Forgiveness, understanding, and a general disregard for people's behavior, that are dumb enough to violate certain social courtesies is my regimen for dealing with idiots. There is no point crying over spilled milk. It is what it is and there's nothing you can do to change it. Attempts to lash back are seen as petty and desperate despite your original intentions.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Help me Understand this Guy
Posted: 1/3/2012 11:20:22 PM
Not looking for a battle...just trying to help. The fact that she is 33 and dealing with this issue raises numerous questions in my mind.

"IF" and "MAY" were key words in my initial post. The fact that she mentioned the matter brought it to my attention. True as it may be that we don't know if he dealt with it effectively or not. It is STILL a possibility for him acting this way. Which serves the purpose of servicing the initial title "Help Me Understand This Guy."
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Help me Understand this Guy
Posted: 1/3/2012 9:26:38 PM

First of all, his past has absolutely nothing to do with the way he dates.


You learn what you live. If this guy hasn't effectively dealt with his past which, she clearly stated in the op as him having an unsteady structure in his mother's home and an abusive one in his father's home he still may have issues with that. Issues that aren't dealt with effectively are suppressed and manifest later in life...often for unknown reasons to the affected individual.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Help me Understand this Guy
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:35:24 PM
I wouldn't pursue it any further. He seems controlling and abusive of your attachment to him. Undoubtedly he is confused but as to what is causing such confusion is unknown. Rough upbringings are no excuse for someone to use that has been unable to deal with them either through therapy or through their own devices.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Racist Family
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:22:59 PM
Stay strong man. Try not to let that mess bother you. Understandably easier said than done. Hopefully they will eventually realize that they are being selfish and can be happy for someone else's happiness. There's no point in trying to change people who don't want to change. Kill em with kindness.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Your Family and Relationships
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:08:36 PM
Bless you and wish you the best.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Who is right?
Posted: 1/3/2012 5:26:41 PM

hehehe, I would chew that youngin up and spit him out. He deserves a sweet young thang.


So you're daughter is a sweet young thing? :P
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Revenge an eye for an eye?
Posted: 1/3/2012 3:58:33 PM
I've never sought revenge on someone due to relationship reasons. I've never been in a physical fight in my life either. I am just not a violent person.

Instead of seeking revenge, I changed my way of thinking about it. If someone I was with previously, was with someone else I always try to look out for my ex- wishing them the best and wishing for their happiness in life. I am friends with all of my ex's however.

I am a strong believer in Karma and have adopted a "tread-lightly" lifestyle as a result. I feel good in wishing them the best like when you do a good deed. But can understand the satisfaction of having done someone ill will.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Who is right?
Posted: 1/3/2012 3:28:25 PM

Son, I think you would make a fine husband for my daughter.


dreamcatcher39 seems as though parents always know what I am before their children decide they can do better.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Your Family and Relationships
Posted: 1/3/2012 2:34:35 PM
Msg 30: "Just because you have parents, does not make them wise or even good people."

Too true.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Your Family and Relationships
Posted: 1/3/2012 1:44:38 PM
Seems as though you feel you owe them something.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Who is right?
Posted: 1/3/2012 1:39:01 PM
If I had the money, I would buy her an engagement ring. Despite material objects of this nature meaning nothing to me, I can understand the psychology and symbolism behind such a gesture. Although the fact that it was ever questionable may have already "tainted the well" so to speak. Depends on the ability of the couple to rise above it and understand one another's POV. Let the petty stuff go.

I would say "Honey, you know I love you more than anything and want nothing more than for you to be happy. I know you love me and know you want me to be happy. If it means that much to you and that's what it will take to make you mine forever, I will buy you a thousand rings...after-all I am happy when you're happy." ***And whilst kneeling and presenting the ring*** Ask, "Will you marry me?"

It's not about standing your ground or giving into another's will...it's not about winning or losing. It's about what comes after these first steps towards marriage.

I wish your friends the best.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
In regards to marriage
Posted: 1/3/2012 12:16:50 PM
For the Men:
You are 'in love' with two girls and they both would like to marry you. One of them is a virgin and has sworn not to Be Intimate with anybody before marriage, including you. The other has done it with previous boyfriend(s) and is happy to do it with you. In all other respects, the two girls are exactly alike. Which one would you marry?

Being "in love" with two girls at once doesn't seem possible for me. I am a one-woman man. The only way I could see this happening is if I had previously dated one of them and she had called an end to the relationship. Me not being "over" her and seeking another relationship prematurely may result in this scenario.

In which case I would be more likely to give my current girlfriend all of who I am, trusting that my ex- and I weren't meant to be. Although if we were meant to be it will work out that way in the end when we are both single. I can't stand that two-timing bs...I see that as a man as being scared to face reality and break off what would save more heartache than cheating would. I live in the present not the past...constantly moving forward.

Regardless of whether the girl was a virgin or not. I would marry the current girl if everything was in accordance and I saw a future with her.
 oOdangalangOo
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Your Family and Relationships
Posted: 1/3/2012 11:41:30 AM
My parents aren't "super religious" but I know what they think. They say the things they say because of numerous reasons but above all else, the underlying message comes through loud and clear..."We want all the best things for you..." Unfortunately the other half of the message conveys a stressed, "...and here's how you should do it!" I am non-religious so it's easy for me to say to myself "God doesn't exist."

While their intentions are good, the added stress does nothing but cause discord. Experience has taught me to withhold the information about myself that I know they will pass judgement on. It grinds on me and I respect them enough to hold my tongue and have reasoned, within myself, that they are "set in their ways."

You are in control of how you view the situation. You have the power that ultimately controls your life. Who you share/give that power to is your choice. No matter if its the buttplug who cuts you off in traffic or your very own parents. If you don't like the way it looks work on changing how you feel about it. And...lol...to change the way you feel about it work on changing your thought processes.

I feel for you. Remember that you are in control of things as they directly pertain to you. You can never change someone without their consent and can never be influenced by others without your consent. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Best of luck.
 
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