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 Author Thread: Seeking some advice
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Seeking some advice
Posted: 9/8/2013 9:33:59 PM


OP, you wonder if she has her "thumb" on you? I'd say she has you on strings like a puppet.


Dude, it's a figure of speech. Relax with the puppet stuff.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Seeking some advice
Posted: 9/8/2013 9:07:38 PM


But there is a huge ocean of difficulties between a staunch Mormon and someone who is non religious. I question why the two of you got involved to start with.

We met each other on here. We liked each other, and I didn't mind that she was religious. I think it's all silly nonsense, but not a deal breaker for me. My profile has always said non religious, and she said in the beginning, she didn't think it would be a problem. So I'm guessing she probably thought she could change me.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Seeking some advice
Posted: 9/8/2013 8:59:58 PM


Wait... let you move on? You're giving this woman way, too much control over yourself. As for thanking her - you jest! After the way she treated you?

You have a wee bit o'growing up to do. You'll get there!

Lady, I'm 38 years old. I think I've got a handle on maturity and my life in general. "let you" move on was her wording. I can't control how she speaks.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Seeking some advice
Posted: 9/8/2013 5:34:00 PM
Hi folks. Thanks for the replies. You're all hitting real close to what my own instincts are telling me.

Just today, I haven't been replying to her. So she txt me asking me if I'm mad at her. I responded reminding her that she canned me and pardon me for not feeling very affectionate towards her. She then responded saying ok, she's just going to let me move on then. So I thanked her and said my goodbyes. So, we'll see I guess.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Seeking some advice
Posted: 9/7/2013 9:55:51 PM
Hello everyone,

So, my now ex girlfriend, broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. Her reason she says, because our lifestyles and beliefs are radically different, and she doesn't know if she could be happy with me. Meaning mostly in that she's a staunch mormon, and I am non religious.

Anyway, she keeps texting me a few times every day checking up on me. Telling me she loves me and that she misses me, yada, yada, yada. I'm starting to get a little upset by this. As she tells me this stuff, but obviously doesn't want me, to see me, or anything else to do with me anymore. It's making me feel like she's just testing my responses to see if she still has a thumb on me.

What's your opinions on how I should handle this? Should I tell her how I feel, or should I just stop replying to her txts and send her my kick rocks msg that way?

IDK. Your thoughts welcome.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:34:48 PM


You are acting like a man with no backbone and it is EXTREMELY unappealing to a healthy woman.. But for a woman like her, you are showing her that you could be one of her victims.. someone who will allow her poor behavior and play the game with her

Huh huh huh!? You have no clue what you're talking about. I made it abundantly clear to her that her actions and words hurt my feelings and that it is unacceptable. But first, I came here to bounce the situation off others to make sure I wasn't over reacting.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Self Esteem Boost?
Posted: 1/25/2013 2:25:20 PM


Bullsh1t

"Just here for the forums! Met my match just a few weeks after joining. Yes this site really does work!"

So you ONLY got 35-50 msgs a day and met your match just a few weeks after joining. Now who's slingin bullsh1t?!

Create a fake profile with a full body shot or two of a moderately attractive woman(6-8) with some decent leg and cleavage shots and see just how many messages it gets per day.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/25/2013 11:42:51 AM


What some people around here don't seem to realize is... without SELF respect, mutual respect is impossible. This isn't about what she deserves, but what she DOESN'T deserve. She doesn't deserve to be treated with disrespect! This is what happens when two people with little self respect come together. It's just childish games that create a viscious cycle!

Any man with self respect who might make the mistake of dating someone like this woman would just leave without treating her with disrespect. When you have self respect... it's IMPOSSIBLE to treat someone else with disrespect! You simply leave. You don't associate with those who treat you with disrespect, and you realize it's the fact that she has little self respect that makes her behave in ways that hurt other people. I would feel empathetic actually... but it would be impossible for me to treat her like an object to stick my c*ck in, because I have self respect.

Good point. I am a self respecting adult. Which I why I haven't done anything to her yet. I have thought about it a lot, I have schemed, and a good part of me wants to simply use her for sex. But my other half recognizes that's not right. After it's all said and done, the more I think about it, I probably won't do that to her. You've all been helpful. Even you insulting little turds.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:40:27 PM


What kind of girl tells her man about several other men are interested in her? Hmm. Could it be one who is dating a guy who isn't really into her, not really his type but still dating her anyways? And will continue to fvck her until he has another prospect on the line? If you do not see how this all started and the role you played in it, then you are dumber than a box of rocks.

At first I thought you were dating one of those insecure women who need validation ALL THE TIME, keep guys around who want her for the ego boost blah blah blah. As it turns out, she was just a place filler until you do find your type and she sensed that. That is why she tried to boost herself up and bragged about other men because deep down she knew she was just a warm hole.

Despite not being my type, I was quite interested in her physically as well as emotionally UNTIL this nasty needy/insecure side of her started to show through her high and mighty comments. Many folks here think she may have already cheated on me with this Mike guy, or planning to. If not with him, then someone else. And I tend to agree. So why exactly again do I owe her an honest explanation about how I now feel, and where I want to go from here?
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 1:29:09 PM


He's not. She acted out due to insecurity, and when she opened up and told him this, he closed down and decided that her status with him has changed and he isn't going to tell her.

That's a lot worse than anything she did. And at least equally childish if not more so.

You're in no position to judge me or anything I do regarding my sex life.

She has expressed enough unattractive behavior now, that I am simply emotionally turned off by her enough to withdraw from the situation in that department. However, I am still physically attracted to her enough to continue that part of the relationship, until I find a new woman whom I find both physically and emotionally attractive. Very simple explanation, and one that most of you will hopefully understand. Thank you.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/24/2013 1:20:17 PM


While I agree the second thing you quoted was really pathetic.... What's wrong with treating her how she treated him? He wasted 3 months of his life on someone who was very possibly banging another guy. Why does she deserve any respect from him? And don't act like you girls don't do the same thing. I've personally known a lot of them that stick with a guy for regular sex while they're looking for someone better.

So though I'm pathetic in your eyes, I gather from your reply you would do, or consider doing the same damn thing. Welcome to the club.

At any rate, most women take particular exception to my comments or strategy if you will, because most women simply cannot have and enjoy the act of having sex in itself without hoping or expecting something more than just physical pleasure, in return.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/23/2013 8:48:20 PM
Good points Pittsburgh and Vanilli. Thanks for the comments.



everyone should have enough self esteem that their feelings should NEVER be hurt enough to take the time to post something on the internet or complain to their friends.

There's nothing wrong with asking other people for advice or alternative viewpoints. Wanted to dispel that non sense real quick like.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
How much will you put up with?
Posted: 1/23/2013 5:34:41 PM


Even though....we need to realize some things can be negotiated....like if he leaves the toilet seat up etc....


This crap needs to stop. Or, more men need to pony up and put their foot down. You're big girls, put the damn toilet seat down. You can handle it. Takes almost no effort and no more than .5 seconds to do so. When have you ever purposely left it up for us? Deal with it.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:32:35 PM
Deadly serious Vixen. Lol. You women are gonna have a field day with this one. Probably because the very same thing has happened to you at one time or another.

Really now? How many guys dump their current girlfriends when at the time, they have nothing else waiting on deck? I'd wager not very many. And technically that's all I'm doing. Emotionally, I'm withdrawn. It's as simple as that.

Chill out. It's not you I'm doing it to. It is what it is. Life goes on.


P.S. Maybe I won't do this to her. I don't know yet. It's just how I feel at the moment. At least I'm being honest. At any rate, if she wasn't a total insecure nit wit, I wouldn't remotely consider doing this to her.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 7:26:11 PM

That is incredibly douchey. Just break up with her.

Maybe from your PoV. But you're not a man. Men need sex. By my own admission, I don't have any other prospects at the moment. That's the only thing driving me to put forth just enough effort to continue getting laid. She could have had my heart to go along with my peni$. But she's proven herself reckless and irresponsible with my heart, so I've revoked it. Sorry if this bothers some of you.

What the problem? Wait I know. Women don't like being used for sex. Especially without their knowledge. Well in some cases, that's just too bad.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:58:30 PM


I know the type. Hot women, but also very, very, very insecure. So they play the jealous card all the fvcking time. They do sh it like that and expect you to be mister mature, I am never jealous type of crap, and when you are not jealous, they actually get angry, as if you do not like them. Yet you tell them that you went out to lunch with a coworked that happens to be a woman, and they go ballistic on your ass, even though all you did at lunch was either talk work or her boyfriend or the crazy relationship you have with this girl.
They throw it at you as if she does not care, but she will remind you how cute she still finds him, but that nothing is going on.

As much as I hate playing their game. Throw it back at her, and really, plan you exit strategy. It's not worth it to be in a relationship like that, it becomes toxic very soon.

Spot on assessment my man. In fact she admitted it to me today. She called and we had it out for a bit. I called her on her righteous, strutting BS thinking she's the cats arse, or at least pretending that she is. She started balling and went on a hysterical tirade about how nothing she's ever done has ever been good enough for anyone in her life. She was never good enough for her parents, ex husband, bla bla bla. So yes, basically a full on admission of extreme insecurity. You are wrong about one thing however, she's not that hot. Lol. She's a 7 or 8 in my book, in comparison to a few women I have dated in the past.

My exit strategy is planned. As bad as it may sound, it is what it is. She's not the woman for me. She has been silently demoted to a friend with benefits until she figures it out, complains, and/or begins withholding sex. At which point, I'm out.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:41:25 PM


People who need this amount of attention usually end up cheating on thier spouse. I mean, heaven forbid you get busy trying to reach a goal outside of this relationship and she feels justified seeking her needy attention elsewhere...and to boot, she will blame it all on you when she does it. If you like the sound of that, keep dating her.

Feelings can always be justified, the action we take as a result of those feelings cannot always be, so take a moment before reacting to a feeling.

FC, This is absolutely hilarious! Not because there is anything funny about it, but because you are absolutely 100% spot on correct. How do I know? Because she did this exact same thing to her ex husband! Why of course it was entirely her ex husbands fault, as she stated, and her affair was only an "emotional affair" Lol
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/22/2013 4:59:57 AM


wonder how mike cheered her up? did he listen to what the problem was instead of trying to be funny? Did he listen to her about her insecurities with you and reassured her that you was ok? Dont know? It might be her way of communicating (though I have to agree it is a little bit ****y and maybe you need to set a better pattern of discussing things). What it could be is that she is scared your not into her like she is into you which is whats making her fed up so shes making you aware that she has other options. Maybe if you ask her what shes depressed about and listened to her then in return told her that what she is doing is bothering you, then take it from there.


I have asked, and I have listened. And she didn't have anything to say about it. I genuinely tried to cheer her up.

She has had no problem sucking my face off right in front of Mike so she sure as hell don't give a damn about his feelings. "Knowing" that he wants her like she's told me several times. And now she's shown she doesn't much give a rats arse about my feelings either.

In my opinion, this is very telling. What kind of a girl tells her man on several occasions, "Every guy who's ever dated me, wanted to continue dating me." ?? I'm not all that into her, for reasons like I've just shown. So if she feels that way, she's correct.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:48:05 PM
PittsburghVixen, Honestly, she's really not that hot. Or at least, not really my type. My preference in petite brunette's and she's a 5'9" blond with a decent face and body. She's a 7 or 8 in my opinion. So I'm a little taken back when she talks like she's the talk of the town and every guy who sees her is interested in her. She has stated on several occasions that EVERY guy that has ever dated her, wanted to continue dating her.

She's 35.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:23:16 PM

She was probably telling you the truth, Mike did cheer her up.

{This is a poor me thread, I vote it off.}

Grow up and understand you are privilledged, to be in a womans life, so work hard at maintaining the relationship, or move over and let someone better , take the reins.

Oh and do listen to what she says, jump when she says jump, and be there for her , we women dont speak a load of self piteous BULL, we are the mothers of millions, unique, special, and can be fragile.

We know what we want and need, and we are fed up, with the piffeling attitudes, and responces, of less than onto it men.

Good on you Mike , we all need more Mikes.

HaHa! Strawberry, are for real? Go pound sand. I'd vote you gone if I could. Lol! This girl has gone on plenty about all the men in her life that wanted her, kissed her bunyons, and that she ultimately discarded for something more interesting and/or exciting. She's dealing with a different breed in me than what she's used to. I will not jump when she says jump, and there are consequences when she disrespects me. One of them being, she does not get what she wants.

Oh and to the profile detectives, my profile is hidden so people can't see it. I use the forums and comment from time to time. If I can hide all my pics, please be so kind as to tell me how. Wait, I'll see if I can fix it myself to appease you folks.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:13:05 PM
I've kept my emotional distance from her. So I'm good. It'll hurt a little bit to cut her loose, but not even a fraction as bad as few break-ups in my life I've had to deal with. Problem is, I've met this Mike guy. He seems like a really nice and genuine guy. Pretty rare for a cop, but hey, they're not all thugs. She told me he brought her a big thing of roses for their first date many moons ago. I think she'll likely squash that poor guy if he's not careful.

Another story about her.
About 2 weeks ago, we went out to dinner. Got talking about dating and she proceeded to tell me all about this guy named "Trinity" who was a drop dead gorgeous perfect 10, and how he took her back to his place on the first date and tried to bang her but she refused him. So afterwards in a joking matter I kinda laughed and asked her, "So what am I?" She sat there and thought about it for about 10 seconds and told me I'm an 8. So I laughed and said," Good hell, I'm not even a 9. I'm 2 steps below."

Which is fine because she is a 7 or 8 in my book too compared to a few women I have dated. Lol
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:25:17 PM
Abbey, my profile is hidden. Now address the topic. Or, go poof. Thank you.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 7:10:42 PM
Helen, I never flirt with other women in front of her. In fact, I don't really flirt with any other women at all, when maybe, I should be? At least a little bit. Secondly, if I unknowingly did or said something that hurt her feelings and she told me so, I would immediately issue a genuine apology. Which she has not done in the slightest.

I have no idea what her point of view is. She hasn't spoken a word about it. She kind of hints at or insinuates that I may be cheating on her in a very subtle kind of way. Which is completely false. For example, I like to take naps on my heater vent, which she nicknamed Heather. She nicknamed my bed, Betty, etc. Subtle things like that.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 6:44:18 PM
Hi all.

So I've been dating this woman for a little over 3 months now, and I'll prefix by saying this isn't the first time she's done something similar to what I'm about to explain, that hurt my feelings.

So as of yesterday my girlfriend has been feeling a little depressed she says. So I've been trying to help cheer her up with no success. So this morning, I get a text from her while I was at work that read, "Mike called me and now I feel better. He cheered me up. ;)"

Mike is one of her single police officer guy friends that wants to get with my girl. I know this because my girlfriend told me so. They dated a couple times before my girl and I met. She told me all about it shortly after her and I started dating. I'm thinking she is a tad narcissistic. She's always telling me about all the guys that want her, as well as every guy that talks to her, or even looks at her.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little hurt, and a bit turned off by this. Not really jealous, but more of a, "wow did you really just say that?" sort of way.

I asked 2 other guys I work with today about their thoughts on the matter and they both said they''d be bothered by that too. My thinking is that I would never say something like that to my girl because I can see how it could very easily hurt someone's feelings. "Hi. Kim called me today. You know, the one that wants me? She cheered me up. Snapped me right out of my funk. wink, wink"

After she sensed that my feelings might have been hurt, she asked me if that hurt my feelings and I told her, "Yes, a little. Just kinda made me wonder hmmm, how would you like it if I or someone else said something similar to you?" To which, she never offered even the slightest apology.

Am I justified in feeling this way, or am I over reacting or just overly sensitive? Your thoughts appreciated.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 98 (view)
 
Friendzone? Why do you men hate it that much?
Posted: 11/9/2012 3:16:19 PM
I think the main reason it's hated is because it's not really a friend zone. A more accurate name would be "usury zone". Typically a lot if not most women use men that are in that zone. They know the man is romantically interested in them, but they generally only call on him to listen to her problems with the man she's banging, or to fix her car, or as a taxi service.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 61 (view)
 
what do you think?
Posted: 11/8/2012 11:14:00 PM
supply, IF, a relationship like you say even survives, and that's a big IF in today's world, the guy was probably cheated on at least once, if not multiple times, but the dbag forgave her for it. Relationships like you describe are not happy ones. The man is thoroughly unhappy and tired of being ordered around, but sticks around for the little bit of sex he gets while having to beg for it. And the woman is thoroughly unhappy because she can't respect guys like that, yet sticks around because this dbag makes decent money. But the guy she dreams about at night is one that she can't overpower.

You are off your rocker. You can't tell me that you personally would have any respect for a man that never said "no", or "do it yourself" at least 50% of the time. Same thing applies to men too. I sure as hell wouldn't respect any women who let me run over the top of her without objection.

You women are like kids. You can't help yourselves. You will test for boundaries, and when and if you find one, you will lean against it for the duration. If you don't get what you want, you will throw your childish tantrums. If you do get what you want, you will lose respect. Well for us men, commanding a woman's respect is by far the most important thing. Again, women WANT to bang men they respect. No begging required.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
 
what do you think?
Posted: 11/8/2012 10:31:04 PM
Supplygoodguy, No. I'm not kidding in the slightest. Most men who ask how high when a woman says jump, eventually end up cheated on, divorced, and all their hard work bending over for her, gone... Just ask them. Dig deeper and you almost always find the guy she cheated with, doesn't kiss her bunyons or take any sh*t from her. You must be living under a rock.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 57 (view)
 
what do you think?
Posted: 11/8/2012 8:08:11 PM


Nope you're wrong.. you need to start reading some books written by men about how they feel about their woman.. and he is not into her... any guy that thinks he met "his prize" and men who have long term monogamous unions look for their prize.. why do you think women spend time attracting a man.. or gloss up.. ? seriously..

If this guy thought he found his "prize" he would be like a proud peacock.. he might want to keep her away from his friends until he's made his point about proving his love.. many men like to drag their prizes off to initiate only intimate contact.. in other words isolate until they know their bond is strong.. and then they show this person off.. but make no mistake men who are into their woman.. do not ignore them.. ever.. I got plenty of long time married friends that never dismiss their woman calling .. and then there's the guys out on a date with you and then need to immediately answer the phone.. ding ding ding.. it's the girlfriend .. or another potential that is on his list..
The one that understands this is the one that gets herself a monogamous man.. because she is sending the signals .. she wants to be with someone she knows will put her as his priority .. and I got news for everyone .. the single most important union we create as humans is with the person we make a lifetime commitment to .. not our kids. not your mom .. not your granny .. it is the person we pledge to honor and care for.. that is what happens in all long term unions.. I've seen plenty of men get wrangled by their wives on this but in the end she's got him hopping ... and if you find men that treat you as secondary .. you will always be secondary.. the gal that dumped him .. got the sign and she moved along.. I'm so so glad some young women are learning not to treat themselves as door mats..

I think that Michelle Obama's book on her relationship with Barrack is an amazing example of how you behave when you date and get treated secondary.. that woman would not put up with being treated as ignored.. If you want a strong relationship of passion and desire you don't sit around waiting for crumbs from any chumb.. nope..

Listen lady. Most women lose interest in a man that jumps at her every request. And rightfully so. These guys are wussies and have no backbone or boundaries. Most guys start out this way as youngsters and get burned big time for it. Which is why they eventually learn and harden up from it. Women that dump a man for not jumping when ordered quite often realize they actually like this guy for having the nuts to stand up to her. Women that dump a man for being a push over do not come crawling back, ever. Most women still want an alpha male leader that stands up for what he believes.

Not answering the phone when busy and texting her as acknowledgement is not putting this girl secondary, it is standing strong to a boundary the Op has installed in himself. Even if it's a boundary she doesn't like on a conscience level, she has no choice but to respect him for holding to it. And women bang men they respect.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 62 (view)
 
How long is the recovery time for men between orgasms?
Posted: 11/3/2012 11:10:41 AM
What works for me the fastest after an orgasm is to have my lady put back on just enough clothes to hide her goods again. For whatever reason, this causes my imagination to fire back up and usually gets me hard again in about 10 minutes. Especially if my junk is still wet and exposed to cold air. :)
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Attraction 3 main points
Posted: 11/3/2012 10:51:45 AM


he other problem with the above statement is that it comes from the PUA mentality, and the PUA mentality has several huge flaws. One, all the tactics are good to Attract and bed women, but they are horrible when you are trying to KEEP the woman. The over the top macho bravado eventually comes down, and yes, you have to reveal that maybe you are also a compassionate type of dude. Not what you sold her first. Second, although the tactics DO work, they are designed primarily for young, insecure, fairly attractive women and have very little else but their looks going for them. If prays on their insecurities to create attraction. When you are confronted with a gorgeous woman, who also happens to be a successful attorney, professional, sales person, whatever, these tactics ring to her as "don't b ull sh it a bu ll sh itter." These type of women want to be challenged. They do prefer a bold, secure man, but one who is also a gentleman. Men that don't take sh it form her, but are also respectful.

You're correct. Not all women respond the same to the same stimulus. So with that said, I concur that not all women are going to get bored and disinterested with a man who commits himself to them. I think it's fair to say that the advice I give is typically what works the best with the majority of women, but certainly not all. I think that the more attractive and desirable the women in question are, the more my advice holds water. For a man trying to attract and lock down a keeper, you have to figure out very quickly what condition and type of woman you're dealing with and adjust your approach accordingly.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Attraction 3 main points
Posted: 11/2/2012 1:16:50 PM


He was then acquitted by the senate.. but really who cares?

I'm wrong about the other things too?? So.. You're saying that wasn't a low opinion of women? That if you treat a woman like crap rather then good she will stay with you? You don't think that should be true for me too? That I don't leave if i'm treated poorly??? that I don't get hit on more when I have a man???

You're saying that men aren't 50% human nature and 50% male psychology?? They don't have criteria and/or preferences? That every single man likes Pamela Anderson? I will agree though here, that was the pig said is probably more true then they just think she's ugly. You don't think people are individuals who like what they like and that others should just accept that and go find someone who likes them for them?? Oh and if a man bashes his ex.. It's a huge turn off for me.. I guess that was wrong too?

Doubtful. But hey.. whatever makes you happy. Least there is a clue there as to why you're on this site. lolol.

No one is saying treating a woman like crap is the way to keep a woman. But like Bill Clinton, I guess it depends on what the meaning of the word is, is.

In my honest opinion, the way to keep a woman interested and chasing is to treat them much like our guy friends. Tease them, but don't go overboard. Don't be mean, but treat them like a bratty little sister that you love but won't put up with any crap from. And most importantly, shank their pink arses like they've never been shanked before, and stay non committal. Once a man commits himself to a woman, he is no longer a challenge, boredom sets in, and the downhill slide begins.

If that's how you define being treated like crap, then so be it. Tell all your friends what an a-hole jerk he is so they can criticize you for chasing after this man year after year after year.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Attraction 3 main points
Posted: 10/30/2012 7:42:13 PM


What I am about to say, may p iss off many women in this site. So here it is. If you want to learn what to do right to attract women, do not ask women. Ask the people that are successful at attracting women, and that is men.

Women will tell you a ton of things that they think they want and are important in their lives and are the things that they wish every men had, yet have never fell for them. They tell you they want this, that and the other and then go and fall for the total opposite of what they just said.

Bingo. This is solid advice. To further add insult to injury, I pay no mind to what women say they want/like, etc. Goes in one ear and right out the other. I care about what women respond to favorably. Women will never tell men what works on them because doing so makes their own job of panning for gold/filtering out the clowns that much more difficult. I love my Mother. But the worst dating/attraction advice I was ever given as a youngster learning the ropes was from my own Mother.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Dating/Interest questions help???
Posted: 10/29/2012 4:17:19 PM


I disagree with this fairly strongly. If the guy's only goal is to "peel her back," and he pretends instead that he just wants to be platonic friends, then yes, that would be playing games and deceiving. But if the guy is trying for a comprehensive relationship including, but not limited to sex, then declaring at the outset that he wants to bang her brains out would actually be inaccurate, if not a lie. Because there is far more to a fully fledged relationship, even sexually, than just stripping down and diving on each other.


Well I disagree with your disagreement. :)

You know it and I know it, dating is very much like playing poker. That's a good analogy. Credit to the person who used it earlier. At some point during courtship, there is going to be a thought or emotion either inside you, the other person, or both, that your thinking brain knows it is not yet time to reveal.

There are very very few, if any, successful relationships that have ever been born out of two people who revealed exactly how they felt at the exact moment they felt it.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dating/Interest questions help???
Posted: 10/28/2012 6:35:42 PM
Igor, and others,

Any man with a sex drive that meets an attractive woman, who doesn't reveal to her immediately that he would love to peel her back, is playing games/deceiving by omission. Same goes for women who don't immediately reveal a desire they have for a man they just met. So, like the poker comment earlier, dating is a game that you must PLAY in order to win, or lose.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Paving the way for your ex to come back
Posted: 10/27/2012 4:11:57 PM
It's ironic. But the single most effective way to rekindle the interest of an ex is to make great progress at moving past them and on to greener pastures. Many times if not most of the time, an ex's rekindled interest peaks right about the same time they discover that you're dating someone new that you're excited about, and your lingering interest in your ex is at its lowest point.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 42 (view)
 
relationship dilemma
Posted: 10/25/2012 5:05:18 PM
You learn to make the best of what you've got.

I'm not packin the biggest prick in my pants either, but it has a relentless high motor. I tell the ladies that I'm 5 inches max, but it's an angry 5 inches. Lol! Basically, my prick is the Ray Lewis of pricks. :)
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Scared Her Off....
Posted: 10/19/2012 4:00:29 PM


You're moving too fast, buddy. ANY woman would give you the same response. You have to work on self-control dude and have patience.

Agreed. Your chemicals are getting the best of you and taking over. You must put down the mutiny. Splash some cold water on your face and punch the hell out of something that won't break, or break you. Remind yourself that no matter how good she looks, someone, somewhere is sick of her sh*t. This works wonders for keeping the right frame of mind. She's just another incredibly flawed woman.



Long story short: You can never move too slow in romance, only too fast.

This is absolutely wrong! It is VERY possible to move too slow. The key is to move at your pace, but do it through actions. Not sappy words. If you want to touch her, touch her. Try to kiss her at dates end. Try to hold her hand, put your hands on her shoulders, or on her waist. If she don't like it, she'll stop you. Very simple. And you'll know she's not comfortable with that, yet.


Take your time. Call her once a week (conversation 20 minutes tops...)to set up a date.. Talk to her on the date..that's when you put your work in... and keep it one-two hours tops..then tell her you have to go... stay off of texting...and calling her everyday or every other day..
You'll be fine..

Next steps: stop talking to her for a week..then call her ..and do the above..trust me...she'll be yours.

This guy has no idea what he's talking about. There are a million things that can go wrong. There are no guarantees. All you can do is what increases your odds with most women. Not all.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Help with Relationship
Posted: 10/13/2012 3:21:32 PM


You contradict yourself slightly here. First you say give him time to think if this is the relationship he wants and then you say to keep her on the burner and find someone else.

I'm not into playing games with people. I am straight up and honest though I know how to phrase things with tact and that would be my suggestion to everyone. It would prevent a lot of communication problems in relationships. I understand you may need a little space to think about things once in a while which is fine, just ask for a little space...


Oh? I guess I don't see it. He can back away and use that alone time without her to think about if he wants to continue seeing her, or find someone new. This keeps his options open by delaying telling her it's over. Just in case that's not what he really wants. It's not games if it's something he does to help himself figure things out. It only becomes a game if he already knows what he wants and is purposely trying to manipulate her.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Help with Relationship
Posted: 10/12/2012 9:21:53 PM


I think this is pretty pathetic. Real men and woman, people with mature, healthy minds and hearts, do not need to play mind games to get each others' attention. In fact, if you want a real relationship, a healthy relationship, playing mind games or playing games of any kind, trying to manipulate each other, that is a death knell for the relationship. I think anyone, man or woman, who has to be manipulative to get someone interested in them or to care about them is sad and sorry. Either someone cares about you or they don't. If they don't, move on. There are so many other opportunities to find someone who is interested in you, who appeals to you, it is silly to focus on someone who doesn't return your interest or who doesn't want the type of relationship you want. Guiding younger people to play games in their relationships is pathetic.


HaHa! Why? She already knows how he feels. Why the need for anything else? Just be polite and back away. At least this gives the Op the advantage of having a little more time to think things through and be certain that he's had enough of her, while possibly keeping his options open. Consider it no different than simply giving her space while the Op attempts to focus his energy on finding someone new and better for him.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/12/2012 8:28:50 PM


Of course it will "backfire" when you do it with the wrong frame of mind. Like the OP seems fully aware of, you never give a gift or do a favour for anyone for anything other than the pleasure you get from the giving in and of itself. Doing so with ulterior motives, to subliminally influence a supposed giftee into giving a guy what he wants, means it doesn't even count as a gift!!.....Since when did giving from the heart turn into playing the odds... Yes, like others, I don't agree that the OP should gift exorbitantly so early in his yet-to-form relationship.


Good grief, Raven. Let's nit pick this to death. Shall we? You go first. Lol
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Confused...
Posted: 10/12/2012 7:45:04 PM
Op, she's got her eyes closed with this new guy imagining that he's you. Actually you should be flattered.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 50 (view)
 
At what point do I give up?
Posted: 10/12/2012 7:16:40 PM
So many women here, and men will tell you, "just do this or that." Or, "I would have already been gone." Like it's a piece of cake right?

My advice for you is to realize that he's not all that. He may have money, looks, fame, etc. But he's a screw up that can't hold a relationship together and can't recognize something good when it's right in front of him.

He's a screw up, Op.
He's a screw up, Op.
He's a screw up, Op.
He's a screw up, Op.
He has serious flaws.

Realize that it was your man radar that mistakenly tagged him as a friendly instead of a hostile. Then fix that sucker, try to laugh at it all, and move on. Easier said than done, I know.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Help with Relationship
Posted: 10/12/2012 7:03:00 PM
My advice would be this. Obviously, you still like her. So, silence is golden. Don't tell her a damn thing. Not a word. Next time you see her at the end of your meeting, just smile, turn away, and disappear. Let her have herself a good alone night in the near future wondering what happened to you. Politely disappearing will make her think you've moved on to bigger and better things and that you're having more fun now than you were with her. She won't like that. It will eat at her at least a little bit.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/12/2012 1:57:37 PM


Thanks again for all the advice, and RedDel, I have not thought, for one second, that anything you have said can be construed as mean. I appreciate your candor and value all the thoughtful posts

Good deal, Dan. I have put a good amount of effort into your topic. Why? Because I can relate. I've been in your situation a few times in my life. Where I was clearly more interested in a woman that she was in me. And without fail, I'm the one that ended up hurt with pie in my face. It's a dangerous and scary place to be. Be careful.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/11/2012 6:44:26 PM


That's because you're gifting with expectation, when you shouldn't be. It's called self-punishment.


Which is the reason for virtually all gifts that early into an interaction with someone. Even if there weren't expectations, most women are still going to read gifting so soon as a manipulation attempt to bed them. And guess what? 99% of the time, they're exactly right. Gifting a woman before sex backfires and repels women more often than not, while there is virtually no risk in not gift giving until after sex. So why do it? Play the odds correctly.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/11/2012 4:29:50 PM
Dandan, based on what you said in your original post, you sounded emotionally out of control. That's all I have to go on. You stated clearly that you two are not in a relationship and that she doesn't want to be in one with you at this point. Now, when a woman really likes a guy, as in butterflies in her stomach when she sees you, she will not be unsure. She will want to be in a relationship with you without any doubt or hesitation. So this woman clearly does not feel this way about you. At best she is sitting on the fence. The behavior you displayed to her would likely be accepted and even welcomed by a woman who is crazy about you. But with a woman on the fence, your behavior is going to do more to drive her off than to pull her in, in my humble and honest opinion. You've got work to do.

To pull in women who are sitting on the fence, you have to peak their interest and curiosity about you and cause them to think they're running out of time and that you are about to get away. Based on your own words, your behavior signaled to her that she can do anything she wants, when ever she wants, and you'll be there waiting. Those are not feelings that you want her to have about you.

She doesn't want you to see other people and I think I can tell you why. I'm sorry to say, but it's actually bad news and rarely results in a happy relationship. She's trying to convince herself into feeling that all important chemistry with you, but she's just not feeling it. This is why she won't say she wants to be your girlfriend, but yet she doesn't want you to escape. It's the only explanation that makes any sense, and everything in life makes sense when the real truth is known.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/11/2012 4:10:17 PM
"Op, if have not yet had sex with her, absolutely do not gift her. Before sex, no good deed goes unpunished"



what a douche thing to say.....

The truth is the truth, is the truth, whether you like/agree with it or not. And I'll bet that most men that have been there, done that, been burned by it, can relate and would agree.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/10/2012 11:31:12 PM


Reddel, I appreciate the advice, and am not saying I necessarily disagree with it, but sometimes you have to go with
your gut feeling. In a certain sense, I almost feel as if we are in a relationship. Labels mean nothing to me; substance means everything. We have both told each other we are not seeing anyone else; we hang out 3-4 nights a week at least (as of the last 2 weeks); we both work between 60-70 hours a week; I have met her mother twice; her friends invited us to join them on a weekend getaway; everyday, we text each other while at work 2-4 times, and talk on the phone for an hour on nights we don't see each other. It can be labeled whatever, but if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck.......

You can claim it feels like you're already in a relationship all you want. But if she won't say it or admit it, you're not. It's that simple. She believes she is single, and that's what she's telling other men.



I understand your point of view about no good deed going unpunished before sex. I was in college; I went through the 20's dating scene. I guess I am not so jaded (as of yet, anyway) to think that people can't mature.

It's not about maturity level. Gifting women and/or otherwise bending over backwards for them before sex, is seen as weak, unattractive behavior by most women. Because for the most part, it is.



I don't believe men do nice things for women solely to get sex.

You may not. But most women do. So if you act like it, she's going to think that's why. You can count on the fact that most women will see overt, over the top kindness such as yours, to be manipulation.



I guess I believe 2 people who really care about each can do nice things for each other, whether it be gifts, intimacy, company, ect., without expecting anything in return. Call me old-fashioned, call me naive, call me a hopeless romantic, but that is how I feel.

I hope I am right.

As stated before, I'm not trying to be mean, just realistic. I hope things work out for you. Good luck.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
You look like me ex what does it mean?
Posted: 10/10/2012 4:49:19 PM
It means, you look like her ex, which reminds her of him, and oh how she misses him. It means she's pining over her ex.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Gift Advice Needed
Posted: 10/10/2012 4:41:41 PM
Op, not meaning to be rude, but with over the top arse kissing/bunyon rubbing like that, I'm betting she will never be ready to enter into a formal relationship, with you. When she meets someone she is interested in entering into a relationship with, she'll put a stop to your gift giving. But for now, she'll let you buy her things. Such a sweet gesture of her to rather spend a night out with her friends instead of you. She asked if you minded out of politeness. She planned on going regardless. I'm almost certain all of this will fall on deaf ears. You're chemicals are already boiling over and you're caught, hook, line, and sinker. So again, not trying to be mean, just real. Have fun.
 
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