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 Author Thread: WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 190 (view)
 
WOMEN have a VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE on POF then MEN !!!
Posted: 8/20/2014 6:19:28 PM
^^^VK, I'm thinking mjinict may be right. Unless you're hiding a serious character flaw, I can't see why you can't attract any guys. You're physically attractive. And you often give thoughtful and well-written replies in the forums. So you're also intelligent. What more can a man want?

I know would much rather date a women within five years of my age. But, I'm willing to go as far as plus or minus eight years. I certainly don't even care to date any woman in her twenties. I did that when I was in my twenties and early thirties, thank you.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 7/28/2014 6:11:12 PM

When I had a dog, I used to take the dog for walks all of the time on the walking trails in my area, which usually got busy in nice weather, or in my neighborhood. I walked the dog every day-sometimes twice a day-weather permitting. The only people who ever approached me were children and toddlers, who would run up to pet the dog or ask if they could pet the dog. Once the parent(s) caught up to them, they would wait for a minute or less, and say: "That's enough Junior. Let's go." And off they went. I never had one of those Hollywood moments, where a single woman-without any kids in tow-approached me and used the excuse to meet my dog in order to meet me.


This reminded me over many years ago when I had my god son and god daughter with me as I went shopping in the mall. If I do say so myself, they were the cutest little pair of toddlers you could ever hope to see, especially with matching jean outfits. Now maybe it was thought that they were my children. Although, at the time i had just turned forty. At "worst", I imagined people would think there were my grandchildren. Bottom line, no one, not one female, ever approached. Not even in the Barnes and Noble.

When I return them back to their mothers (they are cousin born a month apart). I asked for my money back because they never attracted any potential dates for me. Even at forty I was desperate enough to use my own godchildren as date lure, to no avail.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Why can't we get our politician's to act in OUR best interest?
Posted: 7/27/2014 11:16:02 AM
My question is why do you people spend so much time bashing the "other" party and playing the blame game rather than seeking a correct course of action? As long as the goal remains to get a candidate elected because he or she is a member of your party of choice very little true change will happen. And those changes will likely be repealed (or watered down) when the party in power is "overturned". I can't emphasis this enough: Stop kowtowing to political parties and THEIR interest. Because their true interest in just getting re-elected.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 934 (view)
 
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/24/2014 7:38:58 PM
I'm on the sidelines as far as dating, for the time being. Getting a date had not been that hard (when I was trying). But since I've past my mid forties the "deal-breaker" for most women when they meet me is that I've never been married. They always want to know why. Most think I lack commitment. But the truth is that a series of events in my life became hindrances. Most of them were prior commitments. The last being looking after my mother after my father passed 1997. She then passed in 2005. At this point, I guess I've given up on marriage. Women in there forties and fifties don't care to marry (again). But I would like to find a romantic partner to share the remainder of life with. One can only hope.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 932 (view)
 
Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 7/24/2014 7:13:46 PM
^^^
It's somewhat depressing to find out that at 51 I'm little more than a leftover. That must explained why my dog liked me so much (before he passed). He liked leftovers.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 14 (view)
 
POF Guy of My Dreams - Has a Horrible Dog
Posted: 7/13/2014 6:12:21 PM
^^^^

Sactownromantic, I think we have a red flag.

Canines are pack animals and are loyal to the pack, whichever pack they may happen to be in at the time.

I wouldn't give up my pet for just anyone. But having said that, I wouldn't expect anyone to just ask me to give up my pet. But if my SO had an allergy to any pet I may have I would consider options concerning my pet.

On the point of canine behavior, I always make sure that mine are well-trained in basic commands such as sit, stay, heel, and down. I have no control over cats. I'm just happy if they don't scratch up my furniture.

It's been my experience that the canines whose owners look on them as a family member are the ones who have had the worst behavior.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Listing what you do NOT want...
Posted: 7/5/2014 10:14:57 AM
I see listing what someone doesn't want often as a negative. And I say this because they often list such things as liars, cheaters, drama, married, and similar things. Most people don't want these things in a future date/partner. So why list them? Those kind of people (liars, cheaters, and such) won't really be deterred. They'll just see it as another challenge for them. In the meantime, I'll feel as if I would have to prove myself as not being among the pariahs listed rather than being a fun date.

When I had an active dating profile I tried to be positive and give the reader an idea of the kind of person I am. Then it's up to the reader to decide if I'm worthy.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 11 (view)
 
My kids are the most important thing...
Posted: 7/4/2014 8:07:20 PM
^^^^ womaninprogress - While those phrases may be directed at particular men they also cause me to pause because I get the sense that such women are on the defensive and just looking for a misstep. I would also say the same of women who write " I don't want drama" in their profile. To me, they all give off a negative vibe.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Well over 50 and dating someone from a large family?
Posted: 7/4/2014 5:38:46 PM
For me, It would depend on how well I get along with her family. A few years ago, I was dating a woman who had a family who was a joy to be around. I couldn't get enough of them. There was not one person in her immediate family (including aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews) who I was even annoyed to be around, much less didn't get along with. I wanted to marry her just so I could be a part of her family. But she got a new, demanding job, relocated, and we drifted apart. We're still friends. We still call each other at times and I often ask about her family. Her younger brother and I got along great. I've rarely bonded with males on that level since my high school days.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
My kids are the most important thing...
Posted: 7/4/2014 5:14:54 PM
I wouldn't want to date a woman who didn't see her children as her primary responsibility. I love children, especially toddlers. I dislike seeing them being mistreated or neglected. But it's been my experience whenever a woman feels to need to state such either online or IRL it usually means that either I will always be no more than a "live-in boyfriend" and not really a father figure. Or, oddly enough, she's not that really good of a mother. To be fair, I've never dated a single mother to the point where marriage was imminent. So my involvement level could have changed after that point.

Having said all that, at my age and dating range (early 40's through early 60's) most children are likely full grown and out of the house (one would hope).
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Don't Drink Profiles
Posted: 7/3/2014 8:06:47 PM
I don't drink. But it's not for any moral or religious reason. I just don't see it as being necessary to enjoy my life. The same principle applies to smoking. I used to drink socially when I was in my twenties, just to be sociable. So I'm okay with dating someone who drinks in moderation. But smoking is an absolute deal-breaker for me.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Why can't we get our politician's to act in OUR best interest?
Posted: 6/29/2014 6:15:23 PM
The short answer is: Because it's not in THEIR best interest to do so. The people who speak the loudest are too partisan and entrenched in their own ideology. And the politicians just follow suit (primarily because they seek re-election). "OUR" best interest is not the same for everyone. [It's telling that you capitalized the word "our" rather than "best"]. Divergent groups may have the same ultimate goal. But how each group wants to achieve said goal can differ greatly.

Democrats and liberals are no better than Republicans and conservatives when it comes to pointing fingers and citing blame for failures. And each side castigates the other, dismissing any ideas offer by the other.

Until the electorate stops thinking in their own little groups ("What can X do for me and and mine") and seeks the BEST course of action in the interest of everyone as a whole we will be forever be mired with ineffective leadership.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 147 (view)
 
What are you currently Reading?
Posted: 6/29/2014 3:30:14 PM
The Gulag Archipelago Three by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. It's a thumping good read! But, if you don't read the first two volumes, in order, you'll be totally lost.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
If you could give dating advice to your younger self
Posted: 6/28/2014 6:23:17 PM
I think I would date for fun. And I don't mean going out having wild sex with every girl I can. I mean not prejudging every girl as marriage material before even asking her out for a date. I can't recall ever dating a woman unless I first thought she might make a good wife and/or mother first. Sadly, none of that worked out as I have never been married nor have any children. And I'm not thinking about changing it so I could have had more fun/sex in my younger years. I just think it might have made me a better date/boyfriend as the years progressed.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 660 (view)
 
what is everyones opin on tattoos?
Posted: 6/23/2014 2:16:27 PM

They don't tend to like guys with no tattoos very much though


In the same way smokers tend to gravitate to smokers.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Long Term Dating
Posted: 6/21/2014 4:00:02 AM
There are two points that I seem to be missing. First, how far apart are these districts? I would think that when one speaks of different school districts one is speak of being within the same city or county, or adjacent city or county. I personally would be hesitant to begin dating someone who lives much more than thirty minutes away from me. And, if have been dating someone for over a year and circumstances placed us more than an hour apart, I could see that as a putting an eventual strain on the relationship.

The other point I seem to be missing is why are you so dead set on not moving somewhere within her district? Going back to the first point, would the distance from your job, family, or friends be the reason? Or, is there some other reason? Do you not like that part of town, county, or state? You say you two have been dating for over a year. I can see not moving to be nearer to someone that relatively early in a dating relationship. But do you think you could possibly have a change of heart after three or more years? From the tone of your writing I get the sense that you expect her to move nearer to you ( or live with you) once her youngest has finished high school. Is she on board with that?
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 35 (view)
 
One sided conversations
Posted: 6/15/2014 4:57:36 AM
I have to admit that I'm often the silent partner in these one-side conversations, particularly when I meet someone on a first date. And this is usually for two reasons. First, I'm of the notion that the lady is trying to size me up, get a better feel for me. So give her the opportunity to do so by allowing (even encouraging) her to ask as many questions about me as she likes; answering them as thoroughly and honestly as possible. The second reason I'm not that much of the initiator in a conversation, especially with regard to asking her questions, is that I prefer to find out about a person through causal conversion rather than direct question. I'm of the belief that most people will often frame an answer to a question to suit what they think the questioner wants to hear. As an example, I don't bother to ask why her last relationship ended. I'll only get one side of it anyway and the reason behind it may have nothing to do with us. I think it better to get a feel for the person as a whole and judge from just chatting. I don't ask what she does for a living because it's not as important to me as her personality and character.

Having said all of that, I'm just now seeing that my tendency to allow/encourage her to ask questions about me, along with me not directly asking questions about her, may come across to her as me being very self-centered. I'll need to modify my conversational skills.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Why do men suddenly withdraw
Posted: 5/30/2014 6:12:03 PM
I tend to agree with Igor. I can only speak for myself, but on the rare times when I'm stressed (usually job related) I have a tendency to detach emotionally. I'll still maintain my relationships and carrying on as expected. But most of my actions will come across as being performed in a perfunctory manner. Once the stressor has passed I can then become fully involved on an emotional level. The same would hold true if my stress was coming from a relationship and not my job. But seeing as I have very little emotional attachment to my job, little, if any change, would be noticed by my co-workers.

It looks as if you just have to ride it out, stick with him, and hope he's back to his old self soon. On the plus side, working through this together should do wonders for strengthening your bonds. Provided he's wise enough to realise what a great partner he has.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Plesae review my profile
Posted: 1/3/2010 3:02:12 PM

This is really not too bad! Instead of your paragraph order 1,2,3,4, it would flow better as 2,3,1,4. I especially love your closing line.


You go first
Believe it or not, I actually had the pre-posting draft in the order you described. And I think you're correct. The reason I changed it was because I decided that it might be better that it starts off with "us", then "me" ,"me", then end with "us". But now I may switch back.

I may eventually acquiesce and put what I find describable in my post. But I worry that it may become unruly if I tinker with it too much.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Plesae review my profile
Posted: 1/3/2010 2:22:57 PM
Well, I made a few omissions to my profile, as suggested earlier. But right now I'm not sure about adding what I'm looking for in a woman. I know it's vague, but I feel that when I started out with " someone who will be compatible" that covers it for me. We can have all the hobbies and interests in common. But if we don't click, it won't work. And, who doesn't want someone who is loyal, honest, intelligent, good sense of humor, etc.

I'll switch the pictures around after I get some better ones. I think the current main one will help me stand out (bright yellow jersey), for better or worse. :)


scubafan:

The one criticism I have with your profile is that the About Me is written in one block. I think splitting it up will make it more attractive and easier to read.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Plesae review my profile
Posted: 1/3/2010 8:58:41 AM
Thank you all for your comments. I'll make some tweaks later today. And perhaps better pictures later in the week.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Plesae review my profile
Posted: 1/2/2010 5:32:29 PM
Just posted it last night, or was it this morning. Anyway, I need opinions on how I can make it better. Making it outstanding would be great. But for now I'm okay with being better. By the way, what's so wrong with self-pity threads?
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 3 (view)
 
After eight months I just updated my profile
Posted: 8/5/2007 12:55:43 PM
Thank you for the compliment, DaveinSCV. With the exception of the picture with the cup covering most of your face[maybe you were going for a humourous effect], your pictures are nice and well varied.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
After eight months I just updated my profile
Posted: 8/4/2007 6:15:02 PM
Bystarlight, thank you for your input. I thought it was a bit too long myself.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
After eight months I just updated my profile
Posted: 8/4/2007 3:24:17 PM
Hello, I just updated my profile after the initial one was written way back in November 2006.

I'm looking to make any corrections I may need to make now, instead of waiting a month or more with no luck and then coming to this forum for help.

I welcome all advice and criticisms on how I may improve it, and my chances of meeting someone.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Evaluate my profile, please.
Posted: 8/4/2007 3:05:10 PM
I just updated my profile after my initial sign-up way back in November 2006. Tell me how I can improve upon it.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Full Body Shaving...shave it all off
Posted: 8/4/2007 2:08:34 PM
Every few years or so I would shaved off ALL of my body hair, even my eyebrows. The legs were the worst part as I have hairy legs and took quite a long time to complete. But I haven't done that in a few years. I guess I've grown out of that. I still shave off all of the hair on my head at least twice a year, though.
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What is dark?
Posted: 8/4/2007 2:02:26 PM

I was always under the impression that "dark" referred to hair colour.


puppylove, I never thought of his hair being dark. Well I have that (when I don't shave it all off)
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 144 (view)
 
Hello. I'm Charles.
Posted: 8/4/2007 1:49:52 PM
Hello. I'm Charles and I live near Nashville, I've been a member of POF since last November but I starting dating someone right after singing up. Well, that's over for now as far a serious relationship, though we are still friends. This week I updated my profile and added more pictures. Just here to see what comes up and maybe have some good, clean fun with a nice lady. I would at least like to make a few more friends. Talk to you later.javascript:smilie('')
javascript:smilie('')
 kcycrs
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What is "dark"?
Posted: 8/3/2007 10:13:30 PM
I occasionally read profiles by women that states they are looking for a man who is "tall, dark, and handsome". I'm pretty certain that I understand what is generally meant by tall and handsome (although they are subjective terms). But what is meant by "dark"? Is it his skin tone; his "dark eyes"; his "dark soul"; is he "dark and mysterious"; or something else? Just wondering because I'm not tall. And while some women may consider me handsome, I think most wouldn't place me in that category. So I was hoping to be able to qualify for at least one out of three. Any input ladies?
 
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