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 Author Thread: Question for Ladies 50+
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 170 (view)
 
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/17/2013 5:26:13 AM
When I caught my child lying to me I sat her down and we talked about what a lie is but more importantly how the person you lied to is suppose to deal with you in the future.

See when you tell someone a lie --you are saying Hey I am not good enough on my own (coward most of the time or in denial) I feel the need to lie to you about things. Or you lie because you think the person is stupid enough to believe it.

So lets say we chat online and by the phone for a bit and I really really like you---ALOT but then when we met I see that you aren't as tall, or you aren't as young, or you lied about what you did for a living, etc --at this point it is up to me to determine what I do about YOUR lies--can you think of something more unfair?

You lied but now the whole thing comes down to me--so I can go along with you and pretend I dont notice that the things you told me to get me to meet you were lies--so now you think Im stupid or I can call you out on it to prove Im not stupid and there go most chances of building anything--you get defensive and while we both liked each other it is now too strange and awkward to move forward.

I remember the 2nd person I ever met was this very delightful man, ORNL scientist, we had a great time talking and when I got home my kids eagerly asked me what happened and I told them I liked the man but I was confused about why he lied--and they said what did he lie about, --he said he was 5'8" but Im that height and he was a good two inches shorter than me--at which point my daughter goes--Why would you lie about 2"--if you are going to lie you might as well lie big!

See that is what I don't understand--if you are going to lie--make it worth your while--2" or 2 years or whatever the slightest thing just makes other people wonder WTF -- I liked the guy but if he was going to lie to me over 2" I had no desire to find out what else he would lie about.

As I said more of the guys I have met who lied--I would have liked anyway--I guess a better question is if you lied and they still liked you--what of what they have told you that was a lie also? See it is a two way street and one without any trust living there.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 168 (view)
 
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/15/2013 9:58:44 PM

Now I know lying is always quoted as the big kahuna of dating faux pas, but telling the truth about those things people typically lie about doesn't get anyone a date either. No one seems to get points for unpleasant truths.


I disagree with this--I have met guys who have posted out of date pictures and believe it or not --they hadn't aged that much --it was just the idea they had to lie about it. One of the guys I met 5 years ago has a picture of him on this site (met on another site) he says it was taken in 2012 and he had it on the other site in 2007-- but the lie is an indication that he doesnt feel he is aging well and why would anyone want to be with someone who has this type of denial.

One of the greatest loves of my life was 5'5" but he was built like a greek god --back before I even cared about bodies--I just liked his personality and yes I wore high heels when we went out--I always thought of Dudley Moore in the movie Ten, he just held his head up high as he walked thru the restaurant with the girl towering over him.

My point is if someone is lying on their profile, like the lady who loves to post here all the time and takes pot shots at everyone and ends up she is lying about her age by a good 5 years, it shows a massive character flaw to me.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 152 (view)
 
All these younger men...
Posted: 2/14/2013 8:13:43 PM

fifty year old no matter who they are or look like is atill fifty and simply cannot compete with much younger women for much younger guys. A 25 or 30 year old's physically cute and attractive ppearance will trump a more mature woman's appearance for a young man any day of the week. Mature looking women belong to mature looking guys..


That is because a losers who talks crap like that ^^only has one purpose for a woman in their life--their looks--while most OTHER men and women want deep meaningful relationships that are based on life, love and building something together--not being arm candy--to me a relationship with a younger man would be so much more fulfilling than one with a man like you. Wise men aren't comparing women based simply on their looks but also on their personality

Mature looking women belong to whoever the mature looking woman wishes to belong to--I date a person--not an age.

The younger men I have been involved with, the one I married for about 9 years and the one I lived with for 3 1/2 had nothing to do with a looks only. Both were extremely handsome men, the youngest was very financially wealthy, took me to meet his father in Miami and his mom in France, he also gave me a Mercedes 350 SLK to keep, which I still have. Both men loved me deeply but were not attracted to just looks--they loved my personality, my sense of humor, my wit and most of all my heart. He didn't consider me arm candy, he told his best friend I was like the purest gold, we had nonstop laughs. Please stop limiting other men to your standards and what you deem is the only thing a man could want from a woman, it makes all men look bad and cheap.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 25 (view)
 
choosing between 2 women
Posted: 2/14/2013 3:55:28 AM
Op. do you wish to die by poison or by fire?

Seriously you are acting like the only two women in the world are these two women--you have so many unknown choices so stop limiting yourself. Next time Sally flakes out on you --show yourself some respect and walk--next time Sam acts like a wet noodle about wanting a relationship but doesn't want to be hurt so she runs away--she has a kid--she didnt run away from the father did she?

Stop being played--stop playing and recognize your own self worth--find a woman who wont be a flake and that wont run away. Set where you want to go in life and then see who rises to met your level other wise keep going up till you find the right one.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 122 (view)
 
All these younger men...
Posted: 2/12/2013 4:54:55 PM

For those of you that have dated men more than 15 years younger, how did it work out and why wouldn't you do it again?


I lived with a guy 22 years younger than me for 3 1/2 years, our differences were more cultural (he was spanish) than age related.

I am surprised at your question--you asked why wouldn't vs would or wouldnt you--

Basically i try and see a person not an age, I think it is important to find someone you relate to. When I see things about age difference it sorta amazes me cause I think that the person saying that has to be very limited in their life.

Age has never been an issue with me, my first husband was 12 years older and my second was 12 years younger. Since I broke up with my ex (the only man I have lived with outside of marriage) I have mostly dated my age--not for any reason but they are who wrote and I liked them. I wont not date someone cause they are younger or older.

I prefer men my own age but not cause I relate better to them but I like men my age, I find them to be hotter, more confidence, they know who they are, they have a way to just look at you that makes ya want to melt. Most are worldly, they have traveled and seen things --they arent closed minded, angry, bitter but one key thing most have said is they want someone *fun that they have had enough bad in life they want to have fun and no drama over bs stuff. I can respect that and feel the same. Let's have fun. Fun is not a code word for sex, fun is not dragging the other person down with non issues--omg your toilet broke--call a plumber dont **** out the guy--most say most women are debbie downers who constantly go on and on about every non important issue in their life for that day-- think they like the sharing--comfortable silence is awesome.

However if they have open/undecided on children I wont see them and there are as many men at my age with that as there are younger men.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/12/2013 2:29:55 AM
Oh heck no--I worry about LIVING alone--I worry about not having someone NOW to experience life while I am able to go out and do things--

I never really got that whole OLD thing together cause if you ask any one who lost a spouse--they are now alone--so only one gets cared for--I would much rather find someone now who is healthy that we can LIVE--not grow old--not that I don't want a long lasting relationship--I figure one day we would just wake up and be old but we would have had so much fun getting there that being old would just be another fun adventure
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Communicating by phone before meeting Personally
Posted: 2/9/2013 3:25:59 PM
I just go with the flow and have a blast doing it, if they text me --Ill text back--if they call me --Ill answer--this whole thing about what others should do is based on YOUR comfort zone--it is just YOURS and might make them as uncomfortable as what THEIRS make you--so how are you better?

If you are giving up the opportunity to meet someone based on the fact they don't do what you want them to--sounds like they dodged a bullet to me--inflexible people are such downers.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 12 (view)
 
45 and feel so out of my depth about dating
Posted: 2/7/2013 1:51:47 PM
Op--I'd date you for those awesome dimples!!

However, I suffer from exactly the same thing as you, last year when I split up with my ex I had all these amazing men my age asking me out and I was like WTF--(seriously). The one that totally melted my eyeballs and made my heart go pitter patter was even better in person--I just sat there the whole time going --what the heck am I having an *in body experience for someone else!

We laughed the whole time, it was no down time and when he took my hand to walk thru downtown with me--PROUD to be with me I wanted to scream-- every inch of me was alive and charged! After three years in a relationship where the person was putting me down in an effort to keep me to have someone proud to be with me was makin my head spin around--and when he said--"This isnt about hooking-up for sex, if it was that we would have left after the first drinks were finished!" I realize he was 100% correct I would have and be dang happy to have gone with him--but he wanted more!

But in the back of my head I keep saying--wait

Per the forums men my age with a body of a greek god arent suppose to like me they are suppose to be after girls younger than them not six months older--

oh heck per the forums if I dont sleep with him on the first date he will never ask me out again, (Which he did).

So I choked on the confidence issue and he called me on it--told me I needed confidence and then he swam away but gave me that look that said when I get the confidence to go with the total package that he already thought I had to let him know.

So Im working on confidence. I have had several friend ask me if I was fruit-loops to not see my own value. It is like a layer of doubt has been peeled back--and it made me realize that so many on the forums want to cast doubt on the opposite sex for a lack inside of themselves. When you believe in yourself you will see yourself and the world completely differently--then there is no doubt about why someone likes you--you get it--it is cause you are awesome--maybe not perfect but awesome!
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/5/2013 1:16:09 PM
One thing I think that is important--that most older people fail to grasp---where you are now is the results of your direct actions and no one else and no one else owes you anything--so when you put that you are disillusioned it reflects a very negative aspect of life--your life and now it seems you want someone else to make it better for you vs fixing it yourself.

you are using truthful, sincere, honest and open as a weapon to try and manipulate others into feeling sorry for you and making up to you for what others have done without admitting that the person who owes you the most--is yourself.

Another way to think about it, if you are happy and positive do you want a negative person in your life?
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/5/2013 12:23:06 PM
Op I know your pain, I remember that for years I didn't have a posted picture cause I thought I was ugly and no one would say anything nice, it is hard to put yourself out there and feel exposed and not allow yourself to become sensitive.

I have two girls 24 and 22 who made profiles 3 years ago and havent been back on the site since their profiles still show up so anyone writing to them is likewise not getting a response--so put the person on your favorites and make sure they are an active users of POF before you write yourself off.

When you open your heart and gush --it is about your heart, you--what you want and you are taking that from inside of you and trying to find it a home in another person--if it was anger or hatred we would easily say--oh my this person needs anger management--learning to control their emotions -- not that you dont have a right to be angry ever but only at the right times and expressing it in the right manner--unfortunately there is no love management --but what you are doing is asking another person to be your victim in a way--it sounds like you are just wanting a person vs wanting the person. Then if the person shows their individualism and they aren't who you wanted them to be with you--that is when you realize A person wont do--so a large portion of us have no desire to find a person who at the beginning that is willing to gush over us--we prefer to wait until they know us and then they can gush away.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 125 (view)
 
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/4/2013 1:06:34 PM

... I don't know about you ladies, but most of my first or second dates feel more like job interviews than dates-and I guess at our age there is more to tell about our experiences...


I feel certain you are being sincere with your all your questions, but this statement confuses me as I just tried to read your profile and found nothing there. No photos and no substance within. Can this be the reason for feeling like your first dates are "interviews"?


I have had many different men say that they feel like it's a job interview but I never ask those kinds of questions, see a person will tell you what they want you to know about them, you learn to listen to what they also don't say. If a man is happy and secure in his job he will tell you what he does, he is proud of himself and if he likes you he will want you to know--if he doesnt then in his mind there is some issue he needs to resolve.

I had a met with a man I started talking to on a Saturday afternoon, he said he was tired of eating alone since he was new to town and would I meet him at my favorite restaurant, I picked the Mexican Grocery Store where they have real tacos for $1.79 each...nothing expensive and he started asking me questions and I just told him my story vs the back and forth and then said ok your turn--at this point he said no you ask me what you want to know--I was like ok--"What makes you happy?" He says OMG no one has ever asked me that and I wasn't prepared and he went on about what an amazing question it was. I dont think he ever got around to answering it. Later in the evening he told me he was a therapist, he volunteered it along with all the other information you would want to know--just give them time to want you to know and they will tell you.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 40 (view)
 
How do guys feel......
Posted: 2/3/2013 1:16:12 PM

when I go on-line and see he is on-line I think to myself "he just left me....how rude!" ...lol


This really made me snicker--cause you are ****ing about him being rude for doing the same thing you are doing--you are online as well!

This whole thread makes no sense cause the only way to tell if a person is online is cause you are online to see it--so if you can be online for legit reasons so can they--what it shows is that some people are insecure and immediately think bad things --not to be confused with trust issues.

But as a new way to stalk there is now the top prospects which will show you the guys who wrote you and then hide their profile and now show them as being online--and it isnt just within the past 30 days--some of the guys wrote me about a year ago are showing up.

The bottom line is those individuals who have issues normally lack good communication skills and they don't say what they need they want someone to guess and fulfill their every need without being told. You will never make a person like this happy and will be stressed out. It is so much better to just believe in yourself and what you are offering and if the person is the right one and values you then it works out when you start doubting yourself you throw that burden on the other person to prove to you that you are worth it and that simply isnt fair.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 2/2/2013 10:16:18 PM

Women our age don't NEED a man. We would LIKE a man but. as you suggested, men are easily replaced by two "c" batteries that dom't talk back or make rediciulous demands


Gosh I dislike it when women who have their own agenda against men try and speak for all women...

I NEED and WANT a man, I just don't have to have ANY man--only the RIGHT one that fits with me.

And I am very very sorry you can use your "c" batteries devices all you want ...I want to be kissed deeply and passionately ...often--and they don't make anything that does that...I want to smell a man as he is kissing on me, I want to run my fingers over his body and when appropriate I want to have something to sink my nails into...I want to taste a man ...all of him...and most importantly I want to look deeply into his eyes and see the passion and desire he has for me...and sugar there isnt a single "c" battery operated thing on the face of the earth you can do that with!
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 131 (view)
 
Hard to believe this behavior in men over 50..
Posted: 1/30/2013 9:37:20 PM

I think your response "of course not" indicates you are offended. And that is where there comment about "old fashioned" is coming from that you are talking as an attack. At least there is a possibility of this. If you were to respond with "that is not right for me at this time" it would communicative and assertive without making the person feel as if they did something wrong. You then would have a chance of having decent communication with this person. You are taking that away not them...if they like you or are looking to learn about you they will respond respectively and appropriately.


Sorry you aren't see it, but they already lost the chance to respond respectively and appropriately--many women feel asking for sex so early in the *getting to know you stage shows you aren't a gentleman and have no real interest in them as a person.

It is like you twisted their bad behavior around and am now blaming the OP

Oh next time I insult you could you be nicer about the way you tell me I insulted you cause it hurt my feelings you were offended and if she is nicer she gets to give the guy another chance to offend her again what you arent getting is it ended for her at that point--it showed her a side of the guys that made her loose interest--it's broken. She lost total respect for him and had no desire to get to know him better.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 114 (view)
 
Men don't smell like men anymore
Posted: 1/30/2013 5:43:56 PM

I wear Polo green, and I can't tell you how many women standing beside me turn and say, "You smell nice!" It is a quite nice feeling, and very much appreciated.


Yes it smells extremely nice!
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 106 (view)
 
Men don't smell like men anymore
Posted: 1/30/2013 3:05:25 AM

Of course, and I also have a right to suggest what I prefer.
At the same time, apparently in some work environments, perfume-- at least at certain levels-- is discouraged. It's even policy. Apparently, there are allergies to some perfume and/or a concern with scent overkill/pollution or something. Nothing like sharing a boardroom full of people with clashing/olfactorily-jarring scents I guess. ....

I once had a g/f who didn't like the smell of my "unscented" deodorant (which nevertheless still smelled a little), so I changed it to one she was ok with and that smelled much less. Soap and deodorant seem different, though, and their purposes seem unlike or less like the purpose of perfume. Different effects

.Sure.
You and Giggles10000 can bathe in perfume and then get directly in bed without drying afterward for all I care... and perhaps go for that special man whose manufactured smells kind of override his natural scents.


I don't think anyone was saying they wore overbearing scents, and while I think it was outstanding that you changed your deodorant for your g/f, the point I think you missed is that smell bothered her --so you changed it, you didn't stop wearing deodorant. We don't want to wear something that bothers someone especially the person we are in love with; however, there is a difference in a man directing us what they want us to wear or not wear and us wearing what pleases us. The only scents I would wear would be cleaning smelling which when I was married my ex didn't like, the ones he did gave me a bad headache so we found one we both liked. As someone who at the beginning of the thread said that nothing beats the way a man tastes and smells right out of a shower--natural has it place but imho so does the right scent.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Men don't smell like men anymore
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:42:16 PM
^^^ I caught that as well-- I put on perfume to go to bed at night cause I love the way it smells

I hate so many think most women are so weak minded that if they do some things it is cause they are trying to keep up with the notions of others and if they don't then it is to make someone else happy--especially at over 45 --the women on here should KNOW what they like and be RESPECTED in their wishes--ie dont meet us and then try to change us we don't like it any better than guys do.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 121 (view)
 
A Date Tonight
Posted: 1/25/2013 3:35:51 PM

Being content with staying home as a substitute for a date is like saying... I'll just masturbate instead of getting laid.


Exactly--I'd prefer to masturbate than be laid by a guy I knew I didnt want to sleep with and had no desire to have sex or date--so why would I go out with him to start with?
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 360 (view)
 
skirt length when over 50
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:41:44 PM

I'm attracted to Amish women that wear dresses covering their ankles. To each his own is the rule here.


My dresses cover my ankles--just not my top!
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Younger VS. Older
Posted: 1/24/2013 8:36:56 PM
Those of you men who want to beat up the Op for expressing WHY she feels younger men are better than older and then say she is insulting men her age arent getting what she is saying at all.

She just wanted the man to have more contact with her.

She views dating as a progression--you send emails and progress to the phone and then to meeting--they had done that, they had talked on the phone but then he went back to emails to set up a date and then ignored her from then on...vs still being attentive to her by contacting her by either a phone call or a text message....and for yall saying an email here is the same as a text message or a phone call...no it isnt...there is direct response time to both a text message and phone call and an email on a dating site can take several minutes to go back and forth and is quite frankly...extremely boring way to communicate.

And I get what she is saying--I have had men my age do exactly that...they are attentive to start with and as soon as you agree to meet them then they just fall off the face of the earth and you dont hear from them again until you meet.

The younger men do seem to try and appear attentive and you have no clue if by younger she means half her age or not--she has at no time given a age range for her term younger so you are just throwing out shit to make yourself and your comments have validations--younger could be 5 or 10 years younger which is still a 40 year old and to me that isnt a YOUNG man!
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 112 (view)
 
A Date Tonight
Posted: 1/24/2013 5:35:57 PM
LMAO--gosh I started this thread back in 2008 --still have never viewed dating at recreational at all --but then I sit at home alot vs trying now ><

I think that is where many are--online we see so many different people that after a bit we are just numbed and it takes someone really really special to make us want to meet them. I'd rather be home alone than out with someone who I know at the start Im not going to want to be the friend of or to date long term.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Men don't smell like men anymore
Posted: 1/24/2013 4:51:50 PM
^^^ awesome commercial --his eyebrows were killing me--

and the reason I put that about CK One is that many people no longer have a clear divide on sexuality--some of my daughter's male friends are guys wear girl's skinny fit jeans--drives me crazy but it's what they do--they don't eat well and like like a good stiff wind could blow them over--but it makes them happy who am I to judge.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
How much will you put up with?
Posted: 1/24/2013 12:54:09 AM
I think about it differently--I realize that some people will pretend to be one way and then once you are involved with them you see the REAL person--but I also think that at times Life Happens and we have to try and understand why a person has changed the way they are treating us--with my ex he had his best friend swindle him out of thousands of dollars--he became full of hate and the one person he could direct that toward was me. I understand that and tried my best to get him to see that hate only does one thing--damages you--he continued to change for the worse and we parted ways.

But the beautiful thing in all my relationships I can walk away knowing I did everything I could to make them work--it wasn't a lack inside of me they didnt work out. I don't have regrets about things. This makes it easier to move on--by treating individuals with the respect they deserve you get a certain freedom in the end.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Flirt Options for Women?
Posted: 1/24/2013 12:19:36 AM
I think it means different things than the meet me thing--A. with the meet me there are tons of pictures thrown at someone and they chose based on looks who they want to meet.

A flirt is a marketing concept that makes some old fashion women more comfortable making the first move--it's different that actually sending a message--(don't ask me to get into their mindset I just know that many women arent comfortable writing to a man first and flirt gives them a way to get his attention).
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Men don't smell like men anymore
Posted: 1/23/2013 2:35:55 AM
^^ Now I want to go try that--I know my mom only wore Channel No 5 since I was a little girl!

My ex got me a bottle of J'adore by Christian Dior Perfume when he was in France visiting his mom and every time I wear it someone stops and asks me what I am wearing and how much they like it. I used to spray his cologne on his pillow when he was over there cause I loved the way it smelled but I put on mine to go to bed at night, I just love smelling good.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Men don't smell like men anymore
Posted: 1/22/2013 11:13:59 PM
I kinda think yall are too old for me--has anyone been to the department stores in the last decade they have some wonderful scents out there--my favorite is Romance for men by Ralph Lauren.

Calvin Klein makes One--it is for either sex. Most younger people wear scents that can go either way.

I do like the smell of Irish Spring and love those old commercials but I have only had one guy I have met who smelled like my father or grandfather--most have updated their scent.

My mom had a whole bottle of Channel number 5 when she died in December and I asked my daughters if one of them wanted it and they both said they didn't wish to smell like an older lady.

If a man isnt wearing a good scent to me that is a big big turnoff and while I prefer straight out of the shower then is something special about slow dancing with a good smelling man.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Adjusting to the Technology intrusion and the expectation of good manners?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:29:12 PM
There is rude--and then there is someone who is getting their panties in a bunch over nothing.

My family went thru a few bad years and my youngest daughter freaks if she cant get in touch with me--9 times out of 10-- she never texts me but ESPECIALLY if I am meeting someone for the first time she wants to make sure I am ok--that's it.

If you feel so special in your life that someone getting a text or a call and it has you grumpy maybe you should reexamine your life...I can understand if the person is making the calls or texting or facebooking or whatever but they are RECEIVING them--it isn't their fault. I had a guy get a call --ends up his mom had fallen--he had to take her to the hospital so if his phone had been cut off she would have laid there for hours--

Mae--your guy should have told his daughter he would talk to her when he got home and asked her not to contact him again--unless the daughter didn't like you and was doing it deliberately
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
gracious response to a 'no' on the second date invitation
Posted: 1/22/2013 12:48:32 PM
As far as the Op goes--you did nothing wrong but assume she had no plans--she does so now make other plans with her-and you can start with something amazing like you didn't mean to assume she wasn't busy tonight but you were thinking of her smile and wanted to see it again when would she be available to go out with you again.

BTW some of yall need to really lighten up--I have talked to someone early afternoon and met them for dinner and had a great friendship for years--no they weren't someone I wanted to date long term but several times we helped each other out with things.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Younger VS. Older
Posted: 1/21/2013 11:33:24 PM
Once the Op emailed me and explained what she meant--I agree 100 percent with her--if a man is interested he wont set up a time to meet and then ignore you until it's that time to meet --the whole purpose most of us are on here is to find another person to be involved with

--and I think this is the KEY POINT--each of us wants a certain level of involvement--some women might not want a man who is their constant shadow--other women might --it doesnt make one person right and the other person wrong --or at Mattieandberkly says --it doesnt make them disrespectful of themselves--it is just that INDIVIDUAL'S choice.

I agree that the younger men do have *game and I think that is where a big rub is..most older men have already defeated themselves in life--they are angry and bitter and some even admit it on here--they are only half way attempting to find someone and the first thing that happens they don't like they pull a Cartman and take their toys and go home.

I also think a large majority of women on here are angry and bitter and seem like menhaters and waste no time taking a pot shot at any thing they can to mock and make fun of men

...neither of these group do the other members of their sex a service--I also believe that the forum contains a higher number of these two type of people than the real world and THANK GOD for that!

However, OLD FASHION is not superior to a modern way --but it shows a KEY THING about compatibility. I wouldn't want a man that wouldn't text me or email me or one who wouldn't call me--I think it isn't an either / or--it is an AND!
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Should I Be Suspicious?
Posted: 1/21/2013 3:04:48 PM
Op, you should be suspicious of why before you even met a person, that a friend is recommending to you--you have advanced it past MEETING --seriously slow down the thought process, it is meeting not even a date and there is no way to know if the guy is good or bad but if you have a preconceived notion before you meet him one way or the other you could trip yourself up.

I think this has been one of the biggest obstacles I have faced, some people before you meet them face to face have imagined walking down the aisle together. They want to know everything about you to qualify you as being GOOD ENOUGH, they want a romance before they even know you--so crazy the way people invent things as being red flags --the very thing that makes us an individuals is what some want to see as something wrong. Stop going with the flo and start thinking for yourself.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Forever 29
Posted: 1/21/2013 10:35:26 AM
Op, some are trapped in this mindset that life now is downhill--it doesn't have to be--

My father died the day after my 27th birthday, I guess after that I didn't care that much about birthdays.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Younger VS. Older
Posted: 1/20/2013 3:45:27 PM
The op isnt against technology--but when a person engages you and then sets up a time to meet and drops off any type of communication--none zip and you are wondering if you are suppose to still meet them. She feels if the man was really interested in her he would still invest of himself to get to know her but he is not using any technology --text, instant messages or phone to talk to her --I have had a few men do that--it is like once you agree to go out with them they have no idea what to do from point a--agreeing to go out and point b--the actual date.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 203 (view)
 
Dating in our 50's
Posted: 1/18/2013 11:05:17 PM
I have no clue how many meets I have been on over the years--I have offered to pay at each and only once has one guy let me and one said I could leave the tip and one said I could buy ice cream--I didn't think less of them--it was a meet--on a date most the men acted insulted that I offered since they had asked me--

However, some of my male friends have told me how old it gets to take a woman to dinner and then realize that the women was only there for the dinner--that she had no desire to be with them--

I consider it my obligation to a man if he is buying me dinner that he be someone I want to be with --I don't go out with a man unless I consider him a possibility for long term. It could be I end up not liking him or him liking me--but Im not going to use a man for a dinner.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Communication waning.... How to read?
Posted: 1/18/2013 7:49:47 PM
Ok I hate when this happens--someone forgot to tell me that I wasnt suppose to like a man who thought enough of me to text me 20 to 30 times a day--I mean seriously--wouldn't you just hate to think that a man was investing that amount of time and energy to let you know he had you on his mind!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess yall picked up on the fact that Im an avid texter too--yes at times I would love to talk but I feel that with texting I can do so many more things --you can text waiting in line at the grocery store--try having a phone call then

You can text at the doctors, dentist, hair salon while waiting for your turn--try sitting in a busy doctor's waiting room and talk on the phone

You can text when someone else is driving and still have a decent conversation with them--try talking to someone on the phone and the person driving will feel left out

Texting rules--

Personally Op, other than asking her if she prefers you to text or call I think it is awesome that you are texting her during the day. My ex and I would take a funny pic and sent it to each other several times a day--not just of us-but of the cat, dog, a person we both knew, the sunrise, sunset--it made me feel good to know he was thinking of me.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Phone calls and honesty
Posted: 1/18/2013 7:01:45 PM
I'm guilty--it is hard to explain but at times I'm just to busy to be bothered and some people just emotionally mentally and physically wear you out.

It doesnt mean you don't like them but they think asking probing questions or they are trying to hard or they talk over you--so it seems more like work than fun...so I accept the number with the intent of calling them back but when the time comes there are other things I need to do and then it is too late that night to call back and then opps I waited to long and so now it would be awkward to call.

One guy I just couldnt get off the phone and no matter what I said he was determined to change my mind on things--he wanted me to do with him the things he liked to do --500 mile bike rides when I havent been on a bike but once in my life for ten min 30 years ago--I tried to compromise and suggest things we might both enjoy--like a simple meet for coffee before I jumped on the back on a bike for 500 miles. There was no compromise.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Younger VS. Older
Posted: 1/17/2013 1:22:15 AM
Op, you wish to be respected and yet this is what you put in your interests:

love romance cuddling
soft kisses passionate kisses body heat
full body massages
whipcream

Nothing wrong with them but most men on the prowl will take what bait you throw their way--

Here you are making a big deal out of a online message vs a phone call and calling it RESPECT--trust me that isnt the respect you will be needing to be shown with the interest you have in your profile--

and you are sayin how badly you have been treated in the past like you think THIS MAN needs to make up to you for what other men did--and all the wonderful things you are willing to do for him---again you are seeing this as ALL ABOUT YOU--have you forgotten this is his date also? What about what he wants now from life?

Don't set yourself up for failure--the world is so different from our past, you don't get to play it both ways now---you dont get to chose what you want to be treated like--men aren't put on this earth to jump thru the hoops we hold up for them because someone else in our lives at an earlier time treated us badly

Most GOOD men are going to see thru you in a heartbeat--you arent worth the drama to try and make happy--why should they when there are so many other women out there just glad to get a message--who wont care how it is delivered--who have healed from their past relationships and arent going to make them try and make their life better.

You get mad when anyone points out how unfair you are being--yet most are pointing out how unfair you are being--the guy just wants a date and did what he normally does and other women are happy with--it isnt disrespectful--it is technology--save your energy and ego for battles that will matter --dont try and make someone else prove to you anything no matter how much you are willing to prove to them--guess what a healthy good man don't want it cause it is called manlipulation. They want an equal, a partner, a match--
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Younger VS. Older
Posted: 1/16/2013 7:26:01 PM
If you wanted him to call maybe you should have met the OLD FASHION way...

Seriously if you like him what does it matter how he communicates with you--he is communicating with you--maybe he has a very busy life and he can do several things at once while messaging you--

See you are singing this Opera---ME ME ME ME

He prefers to message over the internet--you don't but you accepted the date--the last ten meets I have been on was all arranged over the internet--I think Im just floored you are complaining about how he asked you out like it isnt good enough for you...ole story book princess --prince charming doesnt exist.

Best part of all of this--is I doubt you even told him you prefer him to call--you just expect him to KNOW what will make you happy.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 113 (view)
 
How you see yourself in 10 years from know?
Posted: 1/15/2013 9:48:15 PM
bwahahahahaha ---
How you see yourself in 10 years from know?
Posted: 9/15/2008 425 PM
Well according to my mom, the world will have ended and I will be paying for my wicked ways.

I see myself surrounded by love from my family...my kids having gone into their own lives but still in contact with me. My puppy being a ten year old dog who still thinks he deserves all my french fries. I see myself happy in life, like i am now but having had the opportunity to take advantage of the education Im getting now Ill have a tad more..not a lot. I would love to be sleeping in the arms of the man I love and waking up to his face in the morning.


So now it is 2013 and a bit over four years later--two associates degrees and getting my bachelors this may--the only sad thing is my mom died at the end of last year--:(

My kids are both very much in contact with me and my dog still begging for fries--and I cuddled with a awesome guy (in cuddling ability) for 3 1/2 years!
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Why Bother?
Posted: 1/15/2013 8:28:02 PM
^^^^ I agree--

especially about that DNA and seed spreading--what a crock of seeds

Seriously people will use anything as an excuse for their own poor behavior what bothers me is when other people buy into it--men cheat and flaunt it in front of other women--then the women get involve with them thinking--oh he will treat me better than he did her--then find out he treats them worse if anything because they knew up front he was a cheater--then they want to whine about how much they just know he cares about them and how he will behave in the future--all the while justifying why he cheats and they put up with it and then when it doesnt end and they take up with someone new--and it happens enough they leave the guy and then whine about all men being cheaters.

There are good men and women out there but if you are only finding the ones who will cheat on you--it is your issue--you need to fix you--and stop blaming the opposite sex for your own issues.

As far as women being more deceptive--that is cause women care more about the guy and can feel when a man is interested in another person where most men have to be hit over the head with what is going on before they see what is in front of them--women aren't more deceptive men are just more blind about what is going on.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Question for Ladies 50+
Posted: 1/15/2013 5:22:19 PM
The big problem for people our age is that we've all been through so much in our lifetime -- failed relationships, being lied to, cheated on, etc. that we all have a list of definite dealbreakers -- things we absolutely won't put up with. Dating was so much easier before all the hurt and heartache.


Right there is the reason older people have so much trouble with dating--If you havent healed from what the last person did then you expect the next person to make it up to you--not going to happen--because there are so many more mentally healthy and happy people out there with good attitudes.

The guy I met the other night asked me if I didnt want to ask him anything--I told him I dont play questions and answers --that anything he wanted me to know he would tell me. He gave me a funny look and then said well ask me anything--so I asked him What makes you happy? It blew his mind--he was prepared for anything but that--

Really really nice guy--has so much going for him, but as the night went on --he did exactly what I said he would--volunteer everything I needed to know about him and I didnt have to ask. See when someone likes you--they want you to know about them--if he wasn't happy in his field of work or unemployed he wouldnt tell me about his job--if he was happy then he would...ya got to quit getting so caught up in the meaningless stuff--listen more to what isnt being said.

I know a guy who is a trucker--but he works for a local company--been there 30 years --home every night and wisely invested--he has over a million in savings--he told me he when he meets a woman and they ask what he does and when he tells them they all back away from him--

For me--you just have to be real--comfortable with who you are and what you want out of the rest of your life--so many are looking to down shift and Im looking for excitement and adventure --nothing wrong with either path--just got to make sure both want the same things.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
No 20 year olds?
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:28:49 PM
Restrictions are just that--I have seen people in the forums use whatever restrictions a person has to judge them--

One lady read a guy the riot act cause he went ten years younger but only 2 years older--

I seriously don't think most older women want a 20 something--to big a pain to deal with

 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Text vs phone
Posted: 1/12/2013 8:13:04 PM
Yall put way to much into things--it is a convenience--some people use it cause it is a way to keep in contact easily at each person's convenience--it is great to say good morning --good night--im running late--whatever--someone is thinking enough of you to text and yall are saying--I deserve better--oh well Id just be happy they thought enough to text me.

As far as being on the phone while on a date--I think it is rude but I have to wonder what you are doing that they are so disinterested in you?
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 600 (view)
 
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/12/2013 11:54:25 AM
^^I wish the internet in general you had one identity--you had to use it --nothing else--then we wouldn't have those who can pull so much stuff on naive innocent people--it should have age, and residence on it--that way no spammers would exist.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Why Bother?
Posted: 1/10/2013 8:42:06 PM
Actually men aren't alone when they are cheating--so while you are busy blaming men you might want to blame women too--One of the women my ex cheated on me with--added me on facebook and then threaten to tell me if he didnt come back and fool around with her again, I saw the text message she sent him and wondered why this new facebook friend of mine was messaging him--then I read what it said...so it is easy to think it is all one gender but when it comes to cheating--ya got to understand ...it takes two..so men cheat cause women will cheat with them...but not all men cheat and not all women will cheat with a guy.
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
health problems ignored-causing marital problems
Posted: 1/7/2013 9:58:41 PM
My ex husband was bi-polar and it is very hard to watch a train wreck. You can't make someone do things they wont. Maybe she should only have the type of food that the doctors want him to eat --but he will probably eat it for lunch but if the food isnt there he cant eat it when he is home.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Being stood up
Posted: 12/23/2012 7:47:20 PM
^^^ I had a guy this summer ask me to wait outside for him by a text message--so I waited and this van with darken windows drove by stopped in the front and then drove on and about 30 seconds later he appeared from the same direction the van had gone...I giggled cause to me it was funny. The last guy I met said I was better looking than my pictures but I think he just wanted brownie points.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
WTF is going on???
Posted: 12/23/2012 12:39:39 AM
So ask him...why is that so hard--oh wait if you ask him then it just looks like you were stalking--how about just liking the picture or making a comment--
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
WTF is going on???
Posted: 12/23/2012 12:29:53 AM
Ask him--or post pics of when you met his family and scare the other girl off--(that's a joke). I just hate when people use Facebook to get information about who someone is or isnt seeing--

Seriously he has the right to date others unless you and him agreed not to--and if he is movin on stalkin him on facebook wont gain you points--but more than likely make him feel invaded. Maybe he just likes her more and the initial attraction with you became taxing vs enjoyable.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Head Games
Posted: 12/22/2012 11:43:25 PM

I am not blaming any site or area Miss Cellany. Tampa has a poor rep is all I said. I totally disagree with you. I believe some have the intention of playing games. You chat with someone a couple of times and it seems to be going well and they drop off the face of the earth. Did they meet someone better? Who knows because they don't communicate? You chat with someone and they agree to meet and you never hear from them again. Someone clicks they would like to "Meet Me". I respond with a nice e-mail and never hear from them. There seems to be a real lack of communication and honesty in the world today. I can handle the rejection. It seems women think a simple response or acknowledgement of an e-mail is committing to some sort of relationship. I am wondering if anybody ever meets anybody on these sites and has a lasting relationship. I have seen the same women on here for a long time. Are women dead-set on the fairy-tale or the knight in shining armor? Men don't know what women want and I am not sure women know what they want either.


I can only say what causes me to lose interest:

1. Guy starts making extremely rude comments of a sexual nature --second time talking or at the end of the first time talking online--asks for pics, wants to know sexual preferences or asks to meet late at night at random gas station or walmart--at first I thought it was just one guy but now that I have had about 8 different guys I realize it is just a ploy --they start talking to you about 5 or 6 and then about midnight they state how much they like you and you only live once and how they want to meet right now and if you don't agree to meet you arent the one for them--(goes back to the mindset--YOU CANT LOSE WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE--if a man likes you that much Friday night he will still like you Saturday afternoon).

2. You talk for maybe two or three times and you notice this "Picked on pattern" or negatively--how demanding their job is, no one at work likes them, the ex wife is bothering them...every thing they say has a negative spill. Then when you reread their profile you notice the things you didnt the first time...headlines like "Is there anyone out there?" They feel they are owed something by someone else to make up for what they feel is wrong in their life now--they take no responsibility for where they are --for guys this is a woman wanting Prince Charming to make their life better.

3. One guy asked me if I was bi--I said no--and jokingly said, are you? He replied not really but I like to suck****...then the next day told me off for being a prune when I said I wasnt comfortable with him feeling sucking**** wasn't really having sex...he said it was just fun...my girlfriend said I was just jealous that he might be better at it than me >< (that's a joke for those with no humor!)

I personally feel you should be able to say to someone--hey the reason I dont want to continue with you is--and state the reason but that is my view of how we interact together--if someone else comes along they might interact differently--and if you say you are a bit to negative most of the time they take it personally and you are just adding fuel to the fire..what I am saying is the same thing I have been saying...

If you have trouble with a collective group--ie men or women...maybe it isnt the group...maybe it is YOU--check your own attitude..your own expectations...
 giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 467 (view)
 
Men over 55!
Posted: 12/16/2012 5:38:48 AM

Once decided, he then said we could do dinner and/or drinks afterwards, and I said great!

The movie was fine, and then after he asked if I wanted some coffee (no) and I asked him if he wanted to get a bite (per his date request) or a drink and he said no, he was fine. ! So I went home. He said we would see each other again, and appears very interested.


He asked you about coffee cause he wanted coffee, he didnt want to eat or to get a drink--maybe he was falling asleep and needed the coffee--you turned him down and so he turned you down--not sure why that is confusing...

some men/ women when they ask if you want to do something --it is their way of saying "I want to do this"

It does show a communications thing--balls in your court--if you go out with him again and he asks you to go get coffee to simply say--is that what you want to do or would you prefer to get a bite or a drink and then go from there--

I dont think it is an over 55 thing at all it is just some men are very hard to comprehend what they want--maybe they had a wife who henpecked them before .

@blonde...not so sure why sneaking was required ...wouldn't it have been just as easy to go back to the table and say Im sorry I need to leave this isnt working for me vs making the poor man sit there the whole time wondering what happened.
 
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