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 Author Thread: Women over 30 with children, willing to have more children?
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Women over 30 with children, willing to have more children?
Posted: 10/23/2011 5:46:11 PM
A lot of it probably has to do with getting older and having more risks involved. Also, if they had their kids young, they may be looking forward to getting the house back once the kids move out. Having another would mean that would be postponed significantly.

Personally, I'm 31. I have two older kids, 12 & 15. Didn't think I'd have anymore. However, I just had my third last month. Even though the delivery was traumatizing, I am still open to having another. But only in a committed relationship.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Facials: Real or Porn Only?
Posted: 10/23/2011 10:13:40 AM
I personally hate it and find it disrespectful. Anywhere else is ok, but not on my face. I had a guy do that to me without even asking. Needless to say, he never got another chance.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Is a single 33 yr old man doomed if he has a 5 yr old and a 1 yr old?
Posted: 10/12/2011 3:33:46 PM
To be honest, working 6 days a week might be more of a detriment to your dating life. There are lots of women who won't mind that you have kids, whether it be 1 or 4. For a lot of us, it is actually a turn on.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 270 (view)
 
What does voluptuous mean to you?
Posted: 10/11/2011 2:06:08 PM
"Curves" would insinuate an "hourglass" shape, not something close to a Sharpei complete with "rolls."

-Thank you!! I've always described myself as curvy, but so many overweight women use it that it has almost lost its meaning.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
He ends it, but...
Posted: 10/10/2011 5:22:10 PM
There is one thing that is really bugging me that no one has addressed yet. You said he blocked your way when you tried to leave. That should be a major red flag! He won't let you leave, yet he also won't answer you?! Sounds controlling to me. In any case, it sounds like you could use a break from the drama. Once you've had some time away from him, you may realize you are better off.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Blending Faiths?
Posted: 10/7/2011 10:30:59 PM
Personally, I wouldn't. I've been through a relationship like that and felt I was constantly having to protect my children from indoctrination. At first, we agreed to present both our views, but it was clear pretty fast that he meant he would present his side as the only truth. For me, it is a deal breaker.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Dating and the Other Person's Family
Posted: 9/19/2011 8:11:56 PM
My former in-laws never accepted me. It was a religious difference. I was never good enough for their precious boy. I ignored them. Either they were civil to me or they didn't get to see the grandkids. Glad I don't have to put up with that anymore. Oh, and my own mother likes him better than me. Probably for religious reasons also. Go figure. I just express to her that he tried to take the kids away from me and hope she'll see him for what he really is. I'm still waiting though.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Does Sarcastic Sense of Humor = poor social skills?
Posted: 9/17/2011 9:58:58 PM
Cliche said: "Wow I would never have guessed so many people would rip on sarcasm. I believe it to be a fundamental social skill, in both giving and receiving it. Obviously to much of anything is going to get old and stale, but I think sarcasm is going to be in the playbook of anyone who is socially adept."

I completely agree. To me, if someone doesn't understand sarcasm, they probably don't have a good sense of humor. Others do have a point though, that it is sometimes misused or used in a mean way. That's not cool.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 119 (view)
 
What's up with this?
Posted: 9/17/2011 9:47:16 PM
I agree with some of the earlier posters on here. Why should we define ourselves based on a past relationship? That part of our life is done and over with. Personally, I don't understand the need for the divorced status. Either you are available or not. You really don't need several different categories. The details can be discussed as you get to know one another.

On a side note, what would someone who was divorced and remarried put? They can't put both divorced and married, but according to some, they would be lying if they didn't put divorced.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Dating while Pregnant but single
Posted: 9/8/2011 8:58:45 PM
jnemeth0710,

Thanks for understanding what us single, pregnant women are going through. For some reason, people think pregnant women should completely put their life on hold until the child is school-aged or even 18. It is crazy. Of course our main priority is our child, but that doesn't mean we have to be lonely.

I had found quite a few guys that wanted a relationship with me, but we weren't a match unfortunately.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Talking About Your Children in Your Profile
Posted: 9/8/2011 8:48:20 PM
I agree with most of the posters that just mentioning that you have a child is enough. There are lots of women out there that would prefer to date single dads. I'm one of them. They can understand better what single parents have to go through. Don't lose hope. :-) She's out there.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Creepy encounter
Posted: 9/8/2011 11:59:24 AM
I would definitely find it creepy and would also wonder if he was drunk. I'm surprised you agreed to talk with him about it on the phone. Be careful. This could turn into a stalker situation.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Competitive Kids in Sports / Activities
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:53:01 PM
My son was in soccer when he was little. It was very frustrating to watch because he was horrible. But I let the coach handle it and tried not to push him. We got him out of that sport and into dancing. He seemed to enjoy that more, but just was not motivated to do his best. We eventually took him out of sports altogether. Now, on his own, he decided to take dance at his high school. And he loves it. :-)

I never had to push my daughter in dance. She was a natural and loved it. In gymnastics however, she would put in the least amount of effort possible. I eventually told her we would take her out and save the money if she didn't try harder. I also told the coach that she shouldn't be afraid to push a little harder. She eventually caught on and made an effort.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Male Mysteries: Why do men insist there is another man in the picture when you break up with them?
Posted: 8/29/2011 9:17:24 AM
I found out after my divorce that my ex husband was telling the kids that I cheated on him. I was shocked first off that he would even suggest that, but mostly because he would say that in front of the kids.

When my last long term relationship ended, he accused me of cheating. Which was odd because I had no time to. I would come home from work, do my schoolwork, and hang out with my kids and him until bed. So not quite sure why he thought that. Probably just hoping so he wouldn't have to face his numerous problems. Was he cheating on me? Who cares! He's gone. I couldn't be happier.

The common theme with these two relationships aside from me: control issues. Lesson learned.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 172 (view)
 
Is alot of make-up sexy or the natural look better,what do all of you think?????
Posted: 8/27/2011 5:05:29 PM
I never wore make-up growing up. My daughter tried to get me into at least lipstick, but I didn't like it. Either it comes off too easily or I have to scrub until half my skin is off as well. Regardless, I can't stand stuff like that on my face. I don't see the need to cover myself up just to attract a guy. If he doesn't like me the way I am, then he is not for me. If he expects me to wear some, he should too. lol I hate double standards.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 317 (view)
 
Breastfeeding in public...approve or disapprove?
Posted: 8/24/2011 10:00:34 PM
To me, this is such a non-issue. Live and let live. Mind your own business. Let a mother feed her child. Get over it.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How do women feel about guys and their Fantasy Football Leagues?
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:01:25 PM
I agree with Carol Ann. If that is something he is into, he should do it. However, if it takes up all of his time and he neglects his family or household chores, then it is too much.

Personally, I hope to find someone who isn't into sports. I got used to Thanksgivings without football on the tv and I can't go back now.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Dating while Pregnant but single
Posted: 8/3/2011 9:15:31 PM
I say screw these other posters. If you are lonely and want to date, pregnancy shouldn't have anything to do with it. However, I do agree with them that chances are slim that you will find someone at your age who is mature enough and ready to take care of a baby.

I've been told over and over to stop looking, and that's when someone will find me. Maybe you could use the same advice.

Oh, also, there are several other threads just like this one. Maybe you should find them and look them over.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 31 (view)
 
My girlfriend slept with her ex
Posted: 7/31/2011 10:29:40 PM
The way I see it, technicalities don't dictate whether someone is still married or not. Technically, I was still married for about 5 years after my marriage was over. If the relationship isn't there, then there is no marriage. The technicality only matters where the law is concerned.

However, I do agree with the other posters on here. She's not ready to move on. She needs to do what she needs to do to finally separate herself from her so-called husband before she gets into another relationship. He sounds very dangerous.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How to talk to someone about your relationship status?!
Posted: 7/31/2011 9:00:35 PM
Sounds like he is just not into you anymore, but his friends' comments confuse me. This is something you can't be shy about. Call him out on it. Just flat out ask him what is going on. If he keeps on like this, move on. You shouldn't keep accepting this behavior.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/29/2011 9:57:23 PM
I agree with the other posters on here. This guy is definitely an abuser. Good thing for you that you saw the signs this early. I was with one for about 4 yrs. It will not get better. The more you give, the more he'll expect from you. He has no respect for you. He is number one in his life and that will not change no matter how much kindness you show him. I can recommend a book for you that an abuse counselor told me about. It has incredible insight into the minds of abusers and how to spot the warning signs. I highly recommend you read it. Message me for the title. Like others have said, I don't want to high jack the conversation.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 39 (view)
 
so many non-religious girls whts the deal
Posted: 7/28/2011 1:30:26 PM
My question would be: Why do a lot of guys claiming to be religious tell me they are "not that religious"?

And I agree with most of the other posters. Find a Christian dating site or set your search criteria to fit. Seems simple to me.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 9 (view)
 
dating while pregnant?
Posted: 7/27/2011 3:41:08 PM
If you're lonely, you're lonely. Doesn't matter if you are pregnant or not. What I don't understand are these people that think you should be alone for 18 yrs plus 9 months to raise your child. You can raise happy, healthy children and still have a life outside of them. What is great is when you find that person that you can bring into their lives too. Why stay single if you don't want to be?
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
single mommy
Posted: 7/27/2011 9:00:55 AM
There's hope. There are plenty of guys out there who love kids and would accept yours as his own. If it makes you feel better, I know someone with a 3 yr old boy and she recently got married. Just make sure you don't introduce anyone to your son until it becomes serious.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
dating while pregnant?
Posted: 7/27/2011 8:56:46 AM
I'm dealing with this issue at this moment. It's been difficult to find someone who is actually interested in a serious relationship rather than just trying to fulfill his fantasy. The best thing I've done to weed out the losers is to make it known to them that I will not have sex until I am in a relationship.

Sure they lie and pretend they want something more, but eventually they show themselves when they keep pushing for sex or massages or cuddling. Go ahead and date. Just guard yourself.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Staying in her bed
Posted: 7/25/2011 7:09:27 PM
Everyone is giving good advice so far and I'll have to implement it in the next few years. However, I just thought I'd throw in some advice for older kids that won't stay in their rooms after you put them to bed.

My kids are now 12 and 15. They used to constantly leave their room to come spend more time with mommy before they fell asleep. I finally told them that once I put them to bed, my clothes were coming off. lol They didn't believe me at first. So after a couple of times of testing me, they learned I was telling the truth and it solved the problem.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What would you do if..
Posted: 7/25/2011 7:31:12 AM
I had a marriage like this. It was a big part of why it didn't work. I tried not to bring up his religion so as not to cause conflict, but his family kept pushing their religion on our kids. I had to constantly ask him to talk to them about it. Since it was his religion too, he didn't see anything wrong with it.

There have been lots of guys on here that seem like we'd get along, but because they are religious, I don't even waste my time. There is no point in trying to make it work in my opinion, especially with kids. I will not have another man pushing his religion on my kids. It is hard enough for them to stand up to their dad about it. And they really shouldn't have to anyway.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Are gals scared of or intimidated by a custodial father of five?
Posted: 7/23/2011 10:00:43 PM
I agree with littleinsomniac. I'd be more concerned about the 2 divorces rather than the 6 kids. But I would also look to see how well you are supporting those kids and how you divide your attention among them. Would you really have time for a new relationship? Especially one with a woman who has kids of her own?
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
HWP
Posted: 7/22/2011 9:58:33 PM
lol Coming from a background in veterinary technology, I read HWP as heartworm prevention.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Attracting the Wrong Men
Posted: 7/22/2011 8:10:58 PM
I have the same issue. Maybe our problem is that we are online. We should get out and interact with people with similar interests.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Tolerance-Second Time Around
Posted: 7/20/2011 2:37:57 PM
I'm a lot less tolerant. Coming from an abusive relationship, I am more sensitive to certain signs. If a guy is pushy at all, I say goodbye. On the other hand, I have lightened up on the less important things. Not so uptight anymore.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
email settings - minimum message size
Posted: 7/11/2011 9:25:17 PM
Some people use the space bar to get past it. Most people that I call out on that feel foolish and stop contacting me, luckily. Not sure why I just don't delete the message.

Has anyone reported the bug and actually had the problem fixed?
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Name Changes... How fair is THAT??
Posted: 7/8/2011 9:45:46 AM
Thanks Barefootkitten. I'll talk to my daughter about it and see if that's what she wants to do.

Thatusernameistaken: The last I heard from the sperm donor, I had told him about the baby. He said he would "do the right thing", whatever he meant by that. Then he disappeared. I don't know how to contact him or find him. I would never have a baby and not tell the father. If he wanted to be part of the baby's life, I'd let him. But given the circumstances, it will be on my terms. Unless he brings the courts into it. And in that case, I'll be seeking child support.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Too soon to meet?
Posted: 7/6/2011 10:10:12 PM
Meeting someone this soon is no different than meeting them on the street. No one would look down upon you for that. Go with your heart, but protect it too. Don't get your hopes up too soon.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Opinions on weight loss
Posted: 7/6/2011 10:03:50 PM
If I see that a guy is genuinely trying to lose weight and actually succeeding, I am more inclined to give him a shot. If I see he is overweight and nothing is said about fixing the problem, then I pass him up. I don't expect washboard abs, but it is a turn on when a guy cares about his health.

My opinion is to include it. Not necessarily the exact amounts, but mainly that you have lost a lot of weight and still have a little to lose. It shows your determination.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
does spelling count
Posted: 7/6/2011 9:43:58 PM
It is not that women are being picky and want a perfect man. The point is, a dating site is a place where you want to make your best impression. If you don't take the time to use proper spelling, grammar, or punctuation, then it gives the impression that you are either lazy, uneducated, or both.

I've actually had to ask a guy before if English was a second language to him because he didn't have a grasp of it at all. Turns out, English was his first language. hmmm See ya. Another guy made himself seem mentally retarded. I was trying to be sensitive when I asked, but it turns out he just was terrible with writing. So yeah, it makes a huge difference. And if I feel like I am reading a first grader's homework, I won't even bother to finish it. I'll just delete it.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Name Changes... How fair is THAT??
Posted: 7/6/2011 4:54:12 PM
So let me get this straight: If my daughter wanted to use my last name instead of her legal one in school, she could? And how would that work with letters home and report cards? Would it have the legal name or mine? This is very interesting and I think my daughter will be very happy to hear this.

Luckily, with my soon-to-be newborn baby boy, I am not putting a father's name on the birth certificate. So hopefully I won't have to deal with the sperm donor at all if I want to leave the country or whatever.
 losingmymind
Joined: 6/20/2011
Msg: 81 (view)
 
No sex for you! Damn I wish you had told me that earlier.
Posted: 7/3/2011 11:51:15 PM
I am a very open person when it comes to talking about sex. Eventually when I am talking to a guy, the conversation goes there. I will talk about it without any intention of sleeping with him. It's just another conversation to me.

However, it doesn't seem to matter what I say. They all seem to expect it anyway. Even when I am upfront about wanting a relationship first. They all try to talk me into it before I am ready when I have made it clear I won't budge. I seem to be a magnet for those lacking common sense and decency.

Bottom line is let it happen when/if it happens. Pushing it only pushes the woman away. And lying may get you laid once, but then you have to move on to the next target. You could have a much more fulfilling sex life if you try to stay with the same woman.
 
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