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 Author Thread: Extended Profile
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Extended Profile
Posted: 2/17/2013 6:16:10 PM
Every new little thing that is denied me and given to the paying members makes me all the less likely to visit this site, and therefore reduces the advertising revenues it could be generating from my visits. I have already stopped recommending this site to friends, in lieu of another free site that has so much more (like compatibility questions.) Consider this, folks, and vote with your feet. By doing so, POF will start hurting and will either A) die, or B) adapt in such a way as to regain our custom.
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Site improvement suggestion- Ask a Guy/Girl forum specific
Posted: 1/2/2013 8:51:04 PM
Privat33r,

What do you mean by "contact points?"
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Site improvement suggestion- Ask a Guy/Girl forum specific
Posted: 1/1/2013 9:01:22 PM
Thanks for the great suggestion moderator!
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Site improvement suggestion- "Ask a Guy/Girl" forum specific
Posted: 1/1/2013 8:47:35 PM
I find it strange that guys repeatedly respond to the questions asked on "ask a girl," and though its less frequent, that girls respond on "ask a guy." It would be swell if you could check a box when you make the original post, that would lock the responses to only come from girls/guys respectively (with the exception of the original poster.) This wouldn't be a very difficult logic to implement code side, and I believe it would help to reduce trolling, and would also help to get better responses from that gender. Of course, if you want responses from both sides, you simply wouldn't have to check the "lock gender" box. Thanks for considering my suggestion!
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Is open and honest two way communicaiton critical to relationship success?
Posted: 1/1/2013 8:41:47 PM
I have always believed that open and honest two way communication is critical to relationship success, but I recently mentioned this to a male friend of mine, and he fervently denied it. His responses were "that sounds like something a chick would say, " and "honesty is not the best policy in relationships- especially with the little things like if their dress looks good." We didn't go into it much more than that, so I figured I would toss the question out to you folks-- is open and honest two way communication critical to relationship success (especially in the long-term), or does my friend have the right of it, or is there some third answer?
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
If a guy is Bi, is that an instant No?
Posted: 11/24/2012 8:49:16 PM
Dude, the people who respond in these forums seem to be filled with nothing but hate and vitriol. I asked a question about sports and they got all uppity- so hitting a homosexual nerve is going to result in much much worse. My recommendation-- don't use these forums if you want any kind rational or intellectual response.

To respond to your inquiry- don't ever hold anything small back, and definitely don't hold back anything as major as your sexual orientation! Open and honest 2 way communication from the very start is the key to any relationship success. And unless you are going to change your sexual orientation to better suit the females around here, I would strongly suggest putting that you are bi as one of the very first lines of your profile- on both the straight and the homosexual ones. If it is an instant no for many people, then you just won't hear back- and wont have to worry about it. If you start dating someone and fall for them, and THEN drop the "oh hey, I'm bi" bomb on them, it will result in nothing but heartache-- they will always be wondering "if he didn't tell me THAT right away, then what else is he hiding?"

One last bit of suggestion- if you don't have much luck here try a LGBT or other BI- oriented dating site. I'm sure there are tons out there!
 Creative.genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Do females with SPORTS as an interest realize they are often passed over?
Posted: 11/22/2012 9:20:39 PM
#8

It's only okay to enjoy sports if you look sexy doing it?


I haven't seen a sexy female baseball uniform since those from WWII. Yet the group would consider female athleticism a plus (generally)


Your tips on how to land a "creative, scientific type" aren't really necessary considering how most girls you're describing probably aren't really looking for a guy who can say the periodic table word for word, backwards.


Over and over again I see women who are looking for "honest, caring, loving, sensitive" and " romantic." It sounds to me that they are actually looking for a guy who can "say the periodic table word for word, backwards" because that guy can remember birthdays, anniversaries, favorite things, and little heart melting details like "that cute pin you had in your hair last week." Also- using your chemist example, this guy also has the good judgement to memorize something useful in life- which means he will probably be able to make good judgements in his relationship as well.

#9

You heard that ladies? What did I just say? Show a little T and A and the Geeks can't control themselves. You don't have to pretend you like sports. All you need to do to land a Geek is say " I want you" in your bikini.


I personally would rather have a trollish hunchback who connected with me on absolutely every level, than a supermodel with a trash personality. I think my friends would all agree. So would most enlightened cultures-- ever hear of the "frog prince" story archetype?
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Do females with SPORTS as an interest realize they are often passed over?
Posted: 11/22/2012 8:33:24 PM
To # 3
Lol on the chest-thumping line.

To all:
I forgot to mention that these same guys often also skip over girls who are wearing sports jerseys in their pictures too.
That's not to say they skip over women playing sports--- pictures of women in sports or athletic uniforms (like your sand volleyball gals) are often considered a plus. Pictures of women wearing a #4 jersey with a miller in their hand are considered a negative.
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Do females with SPORTS as an interest realize they are often passed over?
Posted: 11/22/2012 8:17:13 PM
I was chatting with several of my single male friends (most of which have at least tried POF) and we got to talking about how so many females list SPORTS as one of their interests. We wondered if perhaps you women out there realized that listing SPORTS as an interest is a turn-off for those single successful science-types out there? I can understand listing it if you are truly and really interested, but from personal experience I have found that most females I've dated don't really like sports- even if they listed it. Is listing SPORTS as an interest an attempt to net more guys, and yet having the unintended consequence of getting passed over by these highly successful engineers, scientists, architects, and otherwise creative-science types?
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Search by political beliefs?
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:34:02 PM
I have found it difficult to find people on this site that share my values-- I am constantly encountering women who have opposing values to mine on this site. I strongly suggest adding a "political beliefs" setting to a profile, so that you can say if you are hard right, hard left, or right down the middle. Some people might not think it important, but I find that it makes a big difference in compatibility.
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Tell me about yourself.
Posted: 4/22/2012 8:32:34 PM
Um, since your profile is really short and doesn't say much about you at all, I can totally understand why someone would want you to tell them about yourself. From my experiences- people who can't express themselves well in written form usually can't express themselves well in person either. The faster a woman wants to meet, the faster the relationship fizzles it seems. Whereas a woman who is interested in you enough to want to chat online for a while usually will want more than just one date. Plus- it helps to filter out the crazies, the dishonest, and those people who you just don't share enough interests with to want to go on a date in the first place. If you have trouble expressing yourself in written form, then I think you might be using the wrong format for meeting new people- perhaps you should try speed dating?
 creative.genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
ww.pof.com?
Posted: 4/19/2012 4:14:27 PM
I accidentally mistyped www.pof.com as ww.pof.com- and it showed a very similar site. Strange thing was it kept prompting me for a password even though I was currently logged into POF. Any chance this is a scam password harvesting site?
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is PlentyofFish's EVow a free or pay service?
Posted: 4/18/2012 5:11:33 PM
Thanks for the links.

Strangely enough, when I did a forum search for Evow earlier it didn't come up. Probably because I searched the help section.

According to one of those links, the answer is this --- you have to pay to read messages from other members ---
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Is PlentyofFish's EVow a free or pay service?
Posted: 4/18/2012 3:44:09 PM
Sorry if this isn't the best forum page to ask on, but I am sick of the trolls and I think they are a bit lighter on this side of the forums. I keep seeing ads on POF for EVow, and was wondering if its free, or paid. I hate how the paid sites have you fill out ALL the info, and then say- "Oh, hey, turns out you have to pay for this service." So, in the name of keeping things simple, I figured I would ask here first to see if anyone knows. Thanks in advance!
 creative.genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Is there a secret to finding female gamers?
Posted: 4/12/2012 6:37:15 PM
I have done multiple searches for interest: gaming, gamer, video games, computer games, games, etc etc. Are female gamers afraid to list it in their interests, is there something else they list as "code" for gaming, or am I just looking for something that is too darned rare a trait in females on this site?
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Review Please!
Posted: 4/11/2012 5:42:39 PM
Every gal I have talked to gets the dirty messages. I never get them as a guy, so I don't know what to tell you. You don't have anything that says "I'm easy." Of course, the fact that you are 25, have a kid, and have been through 2 divorces might have something to do with why a lot of the "nicer" guys aren't messaging you-- it honestly seems like a lot of baggage.
Suggestion wise-- talk about yourself, not your history, not your relationships, not your kid. Talk about what brings you joy and makes you smile. Talk about what you seek in a relationship, and in life overall. Find some way to hook someone into messaging you- put a riddle or pose an interesting question in your profile. Laugh and smile when you write the profile- if you are frowning or in a negative mood it will totally rub off!

-- I don't understand how having your kid in a picture is a safety concern- lots of women have pictures of them interacting with children. Maybe I am missing something?
 Creative.Genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Who makes the first move?
Posted: 8/26/2011 7:50:23 AM

Do guys really like women to make the first move or is that a turn off for some guys?


It seems to me that highly competitive, super-alpha type guys don't like strong women, and so they don't like women who make a "first move." The more laid-back, relaxed type guy is generally more receptive to this, unless they are a traditionalist. The newest generation of men who get manicures every other day and don't know how to hunt, fish, or compete will be most receptive to this.


How many men here would love for women to just say what's on their mind, make the first move, and ask the guy out? Or do most men prefer to be the one to make the first move?


I am a middle-road guy, so I like taking the guessing out of the game. I personally find it to be a huge boost to my own self esteem when a woman makes the first move.
On the other hand, I have noticed that women who come on really quick and really strong tend to not be well balanced, so it raises a warning flag. Thats not to say I would avoid them, but I would file it away and look for other warning flags dealing with low self esteem, abandonment issues, control issues, or mapulative personality type.


What sorts of things would you look for to see if the woman was into you?


Repeatedly breaking the touch barrier is a big one. Body posture-- legs open instead of knees together or crossed. Arms open, not crossed. Focusing on the conversation and on me, not looking around a lot or checking the time. Telling stories that are personal / intimate-- talking about sex or kink or embarassing stories or really any of the "off limits- taboo" topics for early dating.


So much for the simple ... hey I like you do you like me? Lets date more... or can it be that simple and straight forward without the dance? Although the dance can be half the fun at times.


Unless you want a controlling type of guy, or a traditionalist, you can really drop the "game." Straight forward is very good. The "dance" can be performed after the relationship is set and you are aware of each other's personal goals. No-one likes to waste their time, and there are a lot of flirtatious time-wasting women out there.
 creative.genius
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 19 (view)
 
A Connection in a Relationship
Posted: 8/24/2011 10:42:02 PM
Good old body language.

A whole lot of guys- especially we guys on dating sites, aren't very good nonverbal communicators. In my experience, a lot of women on dating sites aren't very good verbal communicators. Its like trying to get a Mac to talk to a PC- very difficult.

Something important to realize-- almost all guys are taught from an early age that any physical contact with a female is sexual harassment (or worse) unless it is welcome. Unless we are told in no uncertain terms that physical contact is welcome, we automatically assume it is not.

So, since guys on dating sites don't catch subtle nonverbal communications, you have to let him know in one of two ways-- spell it out for him verbally ("I really like you, and want to connect physically with you but don't know how to start") or transmit nonverbally at VERY HIGH VOLUME (grab his ass, cop a feel, give him a -very- close hug.) Even signals like the beer bottle label, or the finger stroking palm, can be lost on guys (a lot of us are never told these things by our parents, and school never addresses it.)

Most likely- this guy felt some connection but was getting too many mixed signals from you-- sitting with your legs crossed or knees together, not making eye contact, having your arms crossed, rolling your eyes, looking at a phone or watch, pulling down your skirt-- guys always pick up on the unintentional negative signals and assume all shields and barriers are back up.

My suggestion-- start the first date off with a hug- it puts the guy at ease and immediately tears down the "touching= sexual harassment" barrier. Then, if you go for a walk, make sure that you walk very close (hips touching on occasion) so as to continue letting him know the physical barrier is still down. If you like the guy and he isn't making a move- escalate things at a pace you are comfortable with, but not too slowly.

Or- even better- tell him exactly what you are thinking and want. Bypass the stupid mating dances and simply talk it out. Romantic?- Well, its not like in the romantic movies. Effective? - Very much so!

I personally will discuss it with whomever I am on a date with. "Say, I'm no good at the whole body-language thing, and I'm getting a lot of mixed signals-- I need for you to clearly communicate to me what you want." That has been surprisingly effective. Meybe it would work for you?
 
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